Chapter 4

Amateur Therapy

August 2nd, 1993

Wendy stretched and yawned as she emerged from the shadows of Ilex Forest and took in the familiar sight of Azalea Town. It had been a good, full trek in the woods, and more tiring than usual. Her arms were still heavy from days of cutting down invasive vines from the native trees. For this reason, she had decided to take a quick detour back to town for a day of rest, rather than leave the forest to the west on the long trail to Goldenrod City and the Johto Conservation Society headquarters.

Yes, Wendy reminded herself yet again, that was the reason she was back in Azalea Town for the second time in as many weeks. She continued to remind herself of this as she passed Kurt's workshop on her way to the Pokémon Center. It was a simple matter of timing and wellness-maintenance. If going this way allowed her to check whether Luke had written a second reply, so much the better. If it turned out he hadn't, it wasn't like she'd gone out of her way for no reason.

While she had hoped to run into Luke in the Forest, she hadn't expected to, given how big, dense, and dark a place it was. She'd done all she could, which meant altering her course whenever she heard human footsteps, but this had accomplished nothing besides her having met a few dozen new trainers. Not that she felt this was something to complain about. Any conversation was a nice break from hacking away at invasive plants, so she'd never grown too frustrated vis-à-vis the elusive potential rendezvous.

Before she knew it, Wendy was approaching the Center's automatic doors. She stopped and mentally prepped herself for further frustration-management.

There's probably no letter, she told herself. Twice in a row would be pretty lucky.

Regardless of how she confident she was in comparing their respective itineraries, there was no guarantee Luke would have written back again yet. It was only fair of her not to expect him to write a reply as soon as he received one. And even that was assuming he'd been to Azalea Town since she wrote—he was under obligation to stick to his stated plan. With all this in mind, she walked through the doors under no delusion of there being a letter waiting for her.

There was. The nurse behind the counter was as surprised with how many kids were getting letters lately as the nurse in Violet had been. Wendy was opening the envelope before she even sat down.

July 26th, 1993

Dear Wendy,

I shouldn't ever be surprised to hear about any Pokémon you track down, but a whole Larvitar nest is something else. I mean, wow. I'm increasingly of the opinion that the Three Dogs must be an Ecruteakan folk tale, cause if you haven't found them yet, they probably aren't there.

Regarding Aaron, I hope he writes back as well and that you have a chance to catch up.

That's great you're working with the JCS. Are you looking at a permanent position later? Also, have you been at all involved with the run-off prevention program? I think that's only going to get more important with all the houses going up everywhere. At any rate, I feel more optimistic knowing they've got you in their corner.

Well, next for me is a bit of a change of plans. Speaking of the JCS, I just read in the paper about a flock of Doduo/-drio they tagged near Tohjo Falls that had a bunch of green-feathered ones in the mix. I don't think I've gotten a decent shot of a "Shiny" before as the new kids are calling them, and I figure the lead's good enough to roll the dice on these. I'm still not world-class at tracking, but I remember some of your pointers, so fingers crossed.

Sincerely,
Luke

Wendy didn't quite laugh, but she had to smile and shake her head. She could hardly blame Luke for turning around—she would have encouraged him to do so if she didn't have an ulterior motive against his walking farther away. That the blame fell on her and Amanda's own report of the green birdos was the real kicker, of course. She knew the lesson to take away from this minor farce was that planning one's own itinerary on the weeks-removed stated itinerary of someone who isn't coordinating with you in turn is a recipe for wasted time.

She knew this, but already the gears were turning in her head to do the very thing.

Now, following him all the way back to Tohjo Falls didn't even cross her mind. Or at least, didn't cross her mind beyond the thought that this would be an absurd thought to have. She had just been there, and it was a two-week trip from Azalea. No, it would more than suffice to expedite the time of her next letter's receipt, which she could do by returning to where the road from Kanto met the main loop of Johto: Violet City. And since the Loop was a loop, continuing counter-clockwise from there would bring her to her destination in Goldenrod. It was a long detour, to be sure, but it wasn't an insane detour. It was just the scenic route, she told herself.

Later that afternoon, when she was bathed and rested, Wendy did the arithmetic in her head on how much travel time her new plan would add. After five years on the trail, this was second nature to her, but she still felt it would only be professional to let HQ know exactly how late she'd be. Not that she was obliged to show up at all, being a minor and a volunteer, but Candice had logistics and scheduling to sort out, and Wendy hated to add to her difficulties.

There was a small line at the Center's payphone thanks to one kid who sounded like he was having problems at home. Eventually, Wendy's turn came up. After a few rings, she heard a familiar voice.

"Thank you for calling the Johto Conservation Society. How may I help you?"

"They finally got you working the phones, huh?"

Amanda sighed. "Yeaaaah… Figure it was just a matter of time, anyway. New-girl dues and all that. Least they don't have me cold-calling folks yet." There came some shuffling noises on the other end, and Amanda failed to completely muffle the transmitter as she said to someone unseen, "No, I'm not… It's Wendy! I'm allowed to joke if it's just Wendy! …Okay, cool.

"Sorry, Candice is jumpy today," said Amanda to the phone this time. "What's up?"

Wendy tried to restrain her laughter with little success. "Oh, no! I was hoping not to make her day any tougher!"

"Relax—you can do no wrong in her eyes. What's the prob?"

"No problems, just I'm going to be later than I said earlier. Should get there on the thirteenth." She thought about leaving it at that, but her mouth was already moving. "Taking the long way around."

"That all? No sweat—I'll tell Candice."

"Thanks."

"So…" said Amanda, lowering her voice. "You gonna see him? Your friend. Or friends."

Wendy was suddenly conscious of how it would only really make sense to go this far out of the way to meet someone in person, not merely to leave a letter for him. She hesitated a moment. "Maybe. I mean, probably not. But I wanted to go that way anyway." She knew that couldn't sound convincing.

"...Gotcha. Hope that works out. Anyhoo, Candice is giving me the look. Don't think she wants this to turn into a non-work conversation."

"Yeah, better not push it. See you later."

"Yup! Have fun!"

Wendy hung up. As she walked back to her seat, she mulled over whether it sounded like Amanda had bought her explanation. Her first guess was "yes," but she also knew her first guess was always "yes" whenever the other person's literal words suggested nothing to the contrary. She imagined reading the same conversation in a book, and looking at it that way, Amanda was probably just being polite by not calling her out for having a weird plan. But then, wouldn't Amanda have just said so if she thought that? She wasn't the type to leave things unsaid. …Or maybe Wendy just thought that because she always thought people were like that.

She shook her head. This was a silly thing to worry about, so she decided to distract herself by finding some other kids to talk to.

Wendy was in the middle of traversing Union Cave when she was again struck with the thought that this detour was, in fact, insane. She stopped in her tracks, rubbed her forehead, and wondered again why she had thought this made any kind of sense.

"Pi?"

She came back to the present moment upon hearing the concerned peep of her pink, pointy pal (and, at the moment, walking lamp), Sharpy. "It's nothing, girl," said Wendy with a smile. It was rude to hold up a Pokémon who was so graciously lighting the way with Flash like that, so she got moving again.

Although Union Cave wasn't the longest underground path in Johto by half, it was still a good fifteen miles from end to end. If the above-ground trail between Routes 32 and 33 weren't three times as long, far more vertically challenging, and in a constant state of disrepair, few trainers would bother with the trek in the dark. It may have been rated as safe for beginners in terms of the danger posed by the pesky Zubat, ornery Geodude, and infrequent Onix, but the challenge to the nerves was considerable. Even a trainer in Wendy's shape didn't clear it in a single day's march, and for the little ones it could take three. Coming back into the sun after all that time underground was a rite of passage which every trainer respected, even if the older ones could say from experience, "At least it's not cold."

An unwelcome winged friend flapped close enough to Wendy's head that she snapped her fingers for Sharpy to take care of it. With a cheerful flick of her wrist, Sharpy sent a precise Thunder Wave into the Zubat, leaving it to think about its decisions on the ground for a few minutes while they walked on. Wendy might have avoided even the hint of the encounter by applying some Repel, but she always preferred to spare the non-offending wild Pokémon the smell of the stuff, especially when the offenders were too weak to pose her and Sharpy any trouble.

Wendy's internal clock told her it was about time to stop for lunch, so she found a dry spot just off the main path and sat down. To give Sharpy a break from lamp-duty, she pulled out her weaker, battery-powered one. The ethereal sheen on the cave walls faded as Sharpy ceased to glow. The shadows cast by the yellow-ish light of the bulb had their own charm, though. Now that they were settled, Wendy portioned out the rations: some dry pellets of obscure origin for Sharpy, and a small can of tuna with crackers for herself.

As she ate, the troubles came into her head again. At the risk of letting them spoil her meal, she finally turned to the only available individual in search of insight.

"Sharpy, is this all too much?"

Sharpy stared at her. Her smile didn't falter (which itself signified very little), and she kept chewing. This meant the question hadn't particularly bothered or confused her.

"I mean, you know, I already know he's doing okay. And it's not like I have that much to say until I hear back from Aaron, too."

At the mention of Aaron, Sharpy did stop chewing. Her posture suggested concern for her trainer. Getting this read on her Pokémon gave Wendy's mind the green light to keep thinking out loud.

"So, I really should be focused on Aaron. Not that there's much I can do when I don't even know if he got the first letter. I could call his house… I mean, no, I'm not going to do that. I shouldn't get his parents talking to him—or to mine—if he doesn't want them to. But with Luke, it's…"

Sharpy leaned forward.

"…It's that he might be avoiding me."

This only now occurred to Wendy. Her habit of taking words at face value troubled her again as she considered whether Luke had changed his plan not upon reading the newspaper, but upon reading her letter. Her letter in which she'd told him she'd be in Ilex Forest. Which he'd walked basically to the edge of before turning around and going in the exact opposite direction.

Her stomach suddenly felt heavy. "I guess… yeah… Is this too far out of the way to go for someone who might not want to see you?"

Sharpy hummed in a minor key. Wendy recognized this as emotional reciprocation rather than as any kind of actual answer. For all her sensitivity and personality, Sharpy wasn't one for literal conversation. She could be remarkably helpful when Wendy needed someone to listen to her problems, but when it came talking with someone about them, that was another matter.

The real problem was, the best "someone" she'd ever known for this was Luke.

November 3rd, 1988

When Wendy woke up, the inside of the tent was brighter than she expected. She turned over to find Nadine still out cold, so she shook her. "Hey, get up! It's daylight!"

Nadine groaned.

Having done her part, Wendy got dressed and stepped outside. It was a crisp, clear day for November, and the familiar salt tang of sea-air put a smile on her face. She had grown up with this air, which went without saying since she was standing in her literal backyard. When she had learned Luke had never been to Cianwood City, her decision that it would be their next destination was immediate, and here they were. Naturally, her parents had insisted they all stay at her house, and also naturally, Wendy drew the line at sleeping indoors. There was a subtle distinction between a Pokémon journey and a conventional sleepover.

She walked through the gate and down the winding lane to the beach, which save for Luke was empty. He was by a rock formation which jutted out into the water. As Wendy expected, he had his camera out. She could see he was fully concentrated on his camerawork, so she decided not to distract him. The sun was just coming up, which he often said was one of his favorite times of day for taking pictures. She was looking forward to seeing all his photos from the last few days here, as were her parents. They'd already said they planned to frame the first one he'd taken of her, Nadine, Aaron, and their Pokémon back in September.

As she reflected on what a great idea this little trip had been, Nadine walked down to join her. She was by no means a morning person, but she looked even worse than usual to Wendy's eyes. "...Morning," she mumbled.

"Morning!" said Wendy, hoping a little pep would be contagious.

It wasn't. Nadine stared into the distance without a word for a few moments, squinted, then looked at her shoes. This gave Wendy pause for a reason she couldn't pin down.

"Hey," said Wendy, "Something up with you?"

Nadine didn't respond right away. Wendy was about to ask again when she said, "No. Just early."

Wendy relaxed, glad to have misread her mood. Maybe Nadine could get some more sleep on the ferry back to the mainland today. In the meantime, getting her talking more might help wake her up. "You and Aaron were at it a good long time yesterday. What'd you focus on?" While Wendy and her dad had been showing Luke around the inland paths, Nadine and Aaron had spent the day training their teams.

"...Reaction time, mostly. Worked on accuracy for some moves. Bit of sparring."

"Nice, nice. I think reaction time's the edge Quincy needs." Nadine's thinking in battle was always solid. It was just a matter of getting her Pokémon to the stage where they could execute on her decisions more cleanly.

Nadine made a noise that didn't sound quite like agreement or disagreement, and put her eyes on the sea again. Wendy looked at the dazzling orange gleams on the waves. She could never grow tired of this sight. "Hard to believe it hasn't even been three months yet," she said. "It already feels like visiting, not just being back, you know what I mean?"

"Hmm."

"None of your sisters really came home much when they were trainers, did they?"

"...No. Even when they took the Gym, they didn't come to the house. We went to watch their battles, and they got back on the boat right after. …Mary told me later she was worried she wouldn't want to leave again."

Wendy was pleased to hear more complete sentences from her friend. That could only mean her head was finally clearing up.

"That's too bad for them," said Wendy. "I don't think I've got that problem. This has been fun and all—showing off home like it's a place to see—but I just keep thinking about where we're going next."

"…Uh huh. …Lot to look forward to."

Nadine took a deep breath, stretched, and sounded just about normal when she spoke again. "Here comes our tourist." Luke was walking up to them, camera back in its bag.

Wendy waved to him. "Hope you got color film in there!"

He waved back and shook his head. "Still got most of this black-and-white roll left. Can't afford to take it out yet." He nodded at Nadine when he was closer. "Morning."

"Good morning," she said back. The picture of awake-ness, sort of.

"Let's head in," said Wendy. "My mom'll be hollering about breakfast soon."

They made it back to the house before any hollering could commence. The kitchen was abustle with the preparation of food for both people and Pokémon. Wendy's dad adjusted portion sizes and meal-composition for each of their Pokémon with his usual attention to detail, while Aaron helped Wendy's mom crack eggs for rice omelets.

"Was wondering when you all would get up," said Aaron. Wendy knew that Aaron could give a dictionary definition of "fatigue," but she wasn't sure he had any firsthand experience with it.

"Didn't we tell you?" said Wendy. "You were supposed to bring us breakfast in bed."

Aaron laughed, but her mom had a more limited sense of humor. "If you're going to tease my helper, you can pour drinks and set the table, please."

Luke was about to set the table himself when Wendy's mom shook her finger. "Uh-uh! You're a guest, so just take your seat!"

He seemed confused at this, so Wendy attempted to explain the distinction the Merrick household drew between proper guests like him and regulars like Aaron as she got out the plates.

"Okay," said her dad, "I've got it worked out here for a Clefairy, Geodude, and Murkrow… Drowzee and Pidgey… Sentret, Exeggcute, and Zubat… Cyndaquil and Hoothoot. Am I missing anyone?"

"Aaron has a Spinarak, too," said Nadine.

"Ah, right. That's easy." He handed Nadine two of the ready bowls to take out to the back porch.

Soon, they were all digging in. Wendy intended to savor every mouthful of the last expert-cooking they could expect to eat for some time. She made a mental note to pick up more skill in this area. Then she proceeded to drown her omelet in sauce, oblivious to any irony.

The conversation turned from their immediate plans regarding Gyms and such to yesterday's nature hike. "I never realized how many medicines you could make with the plants here," said Luke. "Is that why the pharmacy in town's so famous?"

"It helps," said her dad, "but it's really the same all over the mainland. Take Ilex: It's chock-full of useful herbs and trees you can't find anywhere else. Mrs. Merrick could tell you all about that."

Wendy's mom was a botanist, though Wendy's geologist dad was no slouch on the subject himself. They had both taken equal responsibility for quizzing Wendy on every last variety of plant and rock within five miles of Cianwood City when she was growing up.

"I don't think I asked earlier, Luke," began her mom. "What do your parents do for a living?"

"My dad's a photographer, and my mom and him run a photo store under our house. Err… apartment, I guess."

Her mom nodded, as if confirmed in a guess. "And do you have any brothers or sisters?"

"No, just me."

"Ohhh, that puts your mom and dad in the same boat as us. It's hard to have the only kid already out the door." She put a hand on Wendy's shoulder and rocked it, which was mildly embarrassing. "The L'Enfants and the Barlows wanted you kids to stay at their houses, but I said, 'No way! Your nests ain't empty yet! They're ours!'"

"It's true," said her dad. "Nearly came to blows."

"We stopped by," said Aaron, mouth half-full. "They're fine."

"Tell you the truth," said Wendy to Luke, suddenly in the mood to articulate something she rarely had, "I never felt that much like an only child. We did basically everything together."

"Yeah," said Aaron. "Only difference is me and Nadine didn't get in trouble for not knowing how to spell 'igneous.' Guess we all got chewed out the time Nadine got east and west backwards and we didn't find her till after dark, though."

Wendy stifled a laugh—that was one heck of a day. She noticed poor Nadine was getting a little red when Luke kindly changed the subject for her. "When we come back for the Gym later, I'd like to see more of the rockier beaches to the north."

"Anytime you want," said her dad. "I'll give you the grand tour."

As they talked and ate, Wendy felt a sense of happy pride welling up within her. That her newest friend found her neck of the woods so fascinating, that her parents were so impressed with him in turn, that they were already planning another visit just like this one… She couldn't have drawn it up better.

A few hours later, Wendy and company were on the deck of the ferry back to Olivine City. The wind off the water was biting cold, but today even that was a delight. They stood by the starboard railing, where they could see the Whirl Islands to the south as they passed them at a safe distance.

"Hey, so," began Luke to the group as a whole, but seemingly more to Wendy, "If we want to go to Mahogany next, I know some neat places in town, and my folks would put us up. I know the way around Gyarados Lake pretty well, too."

"That sounds great!" said Wendy, suddenly excited at the prospect of seeing what it was like to live on top of a photo store. She even found herself wishing they had all grown up in four different cities instead of two, just to have more hometowns to visit.

"Sure," said Aaron, "but let's head back to Azalea Town and focus on the Gym first. We're overdue for another try."

Wendy wouldn't mind going out of the way to Mahogany Town first, but she supposed it only made sense to give their pact to obtain the Badges top priority. That left only one opinion to hear, so she asked, "What do you think, Nadine?"

Nadine was staring straight down over the side. She answered without looking up. "…Yeah. Sounds good." Wendy wondered what was so interesting down there, but she couldn't see anything when she looked.

The two hours until they reached Olivine passed quickly. They spent some of it above deck, some of it below, all of it in good cheer. When the lighthouse came into view, they gathered up their packs. "Let's find some trainers to battle outside the city," said Wendy. "I feel like knocking the rust off."

"Good idea," said Aaron, while Luke added, "I want to buy some film in town, first." Nadine offered no comment.

When the ferry was tied down, they were the first ones down the gangplank. "Okay!" said Wendy. "Back to it!"

They were halfway up the dock when Luke stopped and said, "Um, hey, Nadine's…"

Wendy turned around, surprised to see there were only three of them together. Nadine was back by the ferry, standing still as others disembarked. Wendy led them back to her.

"What's up, you forget something on the boat?" she asked. "You can head back on and get it—it won't be leaving again for a while."

Nadine just stared at the planks without speaking.

"…Hello? Nadine?"

Nadine's lip quivered. Then she finally spoke. "I'm going back."

Wendy didn't know what to make of this.

"…Did you leave something at my house? It's okay, there's another round trip today. We can call ahead and—"

"No, I… I need to go home. Alone."

The air died. It felt like any attempt to make words would stop at the speaker's mouth. And what would Wendy even try to say? Nadine said "alone." There existed no problems Wendy could imagine whose first steps to fix them didn't involve her own proximity.

She finally managed to babble, "W… what do you mean? Are you sick? Did something happen? What—"

"I can't do this anymore. I'm sorry. I have to go." She took two steps toward the gangplank.

"Wait!"

Nadine froze mid-stride at Wendy's desperate interjection. "What's the matter? Is there—"

Aaron put a hand on Wendy's shoulder. She looked in his eyes, hoping with all her heart he knew something she didn't and could do something about it. He turned to Nadine and asked her with perfect control of his voice, "Do you want to talk about it?"

Nadine didn't meet his eyes. "...No."

"And you're absolutely sure?"

"...Yes."

Aaron took a deep breath. "Then… we'll see you when we can, okay?"

Nadine nodded.

Wendy couldn't believe what he just said. This was wrong. They couldn't just leave it at that. If this was something Nadine didn't feel like she could talk about, that was proof they needed to talk about it. And if they didn't, if they let her get on that boat by herself, there would be no fixing it. Everything would be ruined forever. She had to say something.

She was about to, but Aaron squeezed her shoulder, looked her in the eye, and shook his head.

Nadine looked at Wendy and said, again, "I'm sorry." Then, "Goodbye." Turning to Luke, she mumbled, "It was nice to meet you."

Then she sped up the ramp, wiping her eyes all the way back to the deck and out of sight.

Wendy was frozen. Her eyes lost focus. There was something in her chest and throat that had last been there during a funeral.

It was getting dark. Wendy sat by herself with her back to a tree some distance away from where Aaron and Luke had probably set up camp. She knew she had to eat dinner eventually. Her stomach felt either full or empty, she wasn't sure, but it was moot because the thought of doing anything that involved moving from that spot disagreed with her. If they weren't going back to Cianwood for Nadine, she could at least not get any farther away from her.

She heard footsteps. That would be Aaron telling her she had to eat, or that it was her turn to cook, or that it was her turn to clean up, or that they weren't going to camp here and had to walk another mile, or he might just ask her to cheer up. Whatever it was, she didn't want to hear it.

The footsteps halted before they came close. Then nobody spoke. Neither behavior was like Aaron, so Wendy looked up.

It was Luke. It was plain he had something to say, but was unsure if he should. Wendy didn't ask him what it was.

Finally, he spoke up. "If you want to be alone, I can go away."

She knew if it had been Aaron, she would say she did want to be alone. She wouldn't want someone she'd always known and likely always would know to be around to see how her eyes were still red, or how much of a baby she was being. But perhaps because deep down Luke was still a stranger to her—just some kid she was glad to know but who wasn't a permanent part of her life like Aaron and Nadine were—she found she didn't care so much what she thought of her. So, she looked down again and said, "No."

Luke took a few steps closer, but not many, and sat down.

At length, he spoke again. "I'm… not going to tell you and Aaron what to do, but if you think you… we… you and Aaron or all of us should go back and talk to Nadine, I'll vote for it."

This hurt to hear. Wendy shook her head. "She said she didn't want to talk." She knew Aaron was right to leave her alone. She hated it, it felt wrong, but it was what Nadine wanted. Wishing otherwise was selfish.

"Are you sure she meant it?"

Wendy didn't know how to answer that. The thought hadn't so much as crossed her mind. And when she considered it, she realized it hadn't crossed her mind because it didn't make sense. "She isn't a liar."

"I don't mean she's lying, sorry. I just… I think… people don't always say what they mean when they're feeling that bad."

She looked up just long enough to see he wasn't looking at her, either. That felt easier, somehow. "Aaron would have noticed," she said. "Or I would have." All of a sudden, though, she felt less certain about the latter. But she kept on. "She meant it. And Aaron was right. We can't force her. If she doesn't want to train anymore, she shouldn't. It's not about m… about us." She felt the tears welling up again.

"It's about you, too."

Wendy's head bolted upright. This time he was looking back. There was enough light left to see his eyes.

Luke continued. "What would you say to someone who just lost her best friend and didn't know how long for? That it's none of her business? Doesn't being friends mean nothing's just your own problem? That's what they say, isn't it?"

It was getting difficult to hold eye contact without breaking down. "…I dunno, maybe? But we might just make things worse. What if being around u… around other people is the problem?" She couldn't do it. The tears were dripping out.

"Then you're right, and you've got to leave her alone. I doubt it, but it's you and Aaron's call—I barely know her."

Luke hesitated and looked away for a moment, but only for a moment. "But don't say this isn't about you. I don't care if it's more about Nadine. It's still hurting you, and that's about you."

It was too much. If he didn't blame her for thinking this was the end of the world, she had no hope of holding back in front of him. She put her head to her knees and couldn't keep the sobs quiet.

"…I can go," he said.

"No," she managed to say. "…Please stay."