Madame Masseuse
"Don't Hide, Don't Ask, Don't Seek"
"I think this is the dumbest fuckin' thing I've ever done."
Kagome scoffed around the sweet potato fry in her mouth. Chewing, she leaned over until her shoulder touched Inuyasha's. She lifted her chin to see around his hands, reading over what he saw on his phone screen that prompted the grievance.
She swallowed then rolled her eyes. "You know, you're the reason it's taking you so long to do the quiz; you would've been done already if you didn't stop to complain every twenty seconds."
Inuyasha bumped her shoulder with his and exhaled loudly, an irritated and highly dramatic groan. Kagome sat up straight and snickered, amusement painted across her features as she watched him move on to the next quiz question to discover his primary love language. His eyes skimmed his phone, then he snorted an incredulous, derisive puff of air from his nose.
"How is doin' practical shit more meaningful than being non-sexually intimate in public? That's the stupidest thing I've ever heard."
"So, clearly your love language is not acts of service, then." Kagome grinned facetiously and popped another fry in her mouth, chewing like she had a point to make.
Inuyasha cast her a lazy and thankless side-eyed expression then slouched further against her couch. He sulked, his phone held in front of his face with both hands.
"Not everything is going to matter to you, Inuyasha—only the things that relate to your love language. That's what makes this stuff so neat. It helps you get to know people's personalities better—their unique preferences for how to give and receive love and affection."
Inuyasha shot Kagome an exaggerated eyeroll and upheaved an eyebrow at her.
Kagome scowled at him.
"Just—" She flapped an aggravated hand at him— "stop with that face and the complaining and keep going; I'm sure you're close to getting your quiz results."
"Remind me again why I'm doin' this dumb questionnaire?"
"You mean other than for the reasons of my amusement and 'cause you can't say no to me?"
Inuyasha made a gagging sound of displeasure in his throat that evoked a breathy giggle from Kagome.
She licked the salt from her fingers. "I just can't believe you're well into your thirties and you've never heard of love languages before. It's such an impactful thing to know about yourself and others when it comes to relationships."
Inuyasha snorted at the next question and recorded his answer before turning his gaze to Kagome. He sat up a little straighter on the couch. "Okay, first—I've gotten along with people just fine not knowin' this shit existed until now. And second—thirty-two is not well into my thirties."
"Okay, first—" Kagome threw her voice to a deeper, mocking tone; a poor imitation of Inuyasha's— "consider it an opportunity to expand your horizons—a way to help you have more meaningful relationships with people. And second, thirty-two is practically almost your mid-thirties; it seems far, far away from my youthful twenty-nine."
Inuyasha's head recoiled on his neck. "Wait—you're twenty-nine?" He spun to face Kagome, his eyebrows raised with confused surprise.
"Uh—yes," she answered slowly. "Why are you surprised by that?"
Inuyasha lowered his gaze then slowly turned back to his phone. He lifted one shoulder lazily, not looking at her as he said, "I thought you were a few years younger than that."
"Oh—what made you think that?"
Inuyasha knit his brow, like what he wanted to say perplexed him. "Didn't you say you and Hojo dated since high school? Bein' together for six years—" He shrugged— "I just assumed that put you closer to your mid-twenties."
Kagome scoffed before heatedly shoving four fries in her mouth. Her jaw felt tight as she chewed through her irritation, her eyes on the floor. She struggled to swallow the deliciously greasy mass, her throat feeling thick and dry.
She really had no desire to talk about this, to talk about Hojo with Inuyasha. But Kagome had never shared this particular truth with anyone before—not even Sango.
That fact made an egregious desire to speak curdle in the base of her throat.
Kagome sighed.
"Hojo was pretty aloof about dating back then—he didn't really seem to care about making things official between us. We were childhood friends and then, at some point during high school, I kissed him and he didn't seem to mind it. Then, we just kinda kept it up until I eventually realized it wasn't normal that we never talked about exclusivity or making things official—" She emphasized her sassy tone with finger quotation marks— "so, I asked him if we were, and he asked me if I wanted to be, and then our six year countdown started after that."
Inuyasha looked horrified. "Wait, so—you just assumed things were exclusive between you two for years? He kept you around as a girlfriend—but didn't call you one—even though he coulda been with other women that whole time?"
Kagome chewed on the inside of her cheek. "I honestly don't remember. And, yeah, I guess he could've been. But, I mean, Hojo wasn't the kind of guy to really seek out women. He'd always been on the shyer side, consistently pretty slow on the uptake about females and intimacy. It was something that used to drive me insane about him—just how romantically obtuse he could be. But, back then, I didn't know any better so I didn't think it mattered. We went on dates over those years, though, obviously—"
"Yeah—for coffee," Inuyasha mocked.
"—and we eventually started sleeping together, and—" She shrugged, finding whatever else she was going to say not worth the effort to voice. "I thought that's what relationships were: you were just with someone—it wasn't passionate romance, it wasn't rainbows and butterflies, it wasn't steal-your-breath-away, can't-live-without-you desire. It was just—friendly companionship, dinners out every Thursday night—"
"Weeknight dates? What the fuck?"
"—and occasionally having sex. I didn't know to expect more—to expect better."
Kagome had to look away from Inuyasha, he looked transfixed, a crazed disbelief etched into his expression.
"So, are you sayin' you were actually with him for eleven years?"
Kagome looked down at her fingers to do the math. "Uh—yeah, I guess I was."
"Jesus Christ—" Inuyasha shook his head, leaning forward until his hair grazed his knees. "Is he the only guy you've been with?"
Kagome flushed and looked down at her mostly empty takeaway container. She nodded, biting her lip.
Inuyasha exhaled a loaded breath, leaning back to depress his head into the couch back. He cast his eyes to the ceiling. "That's so—unacceptable." The word came out as a ragged sigh. His head turned to Kagome so fast it made her jump. "You deserve so much more than some asshole not takin' your company seriously for five goddamn years before deciding you were finally worth his time to date." His eyebrows, furrowed with anger, took on a dramatic arch, the skin between his eyes tight with wrinkles.
"We were kids, Inuyasha—it wasn't—"
"—I don't fuckin' care, Kagome! That's just—" He shook his head as if trying to dispel his disbelief— "That's so not okay! I don't want you makin' excuses for him! I don't want you to bein' okay with how he treated you!"
"I'm not okay with it, Inuyasha! I'm pissed about it! I'm fucking livid! I hate that I let myself be treated like a placeholder and not a genuine romantic interest for most of my adult life!"
"You should be fuckin' pissed! 'Cause you deserve better than that, Kagome. Goddammit, you are not a placeholder! Fuck that guy," Inuyasha hissed under his breath. He scoffed, his eyes swiping the ceiling. "No wonder you're so uptight about needing things spelled out for you—your goddamn boyfriend refused to acknowledge bein' in a relationship with you for years. He led you on like—like—"
"—Inuyasha," Kagome grunted with frustration, interrupting him. "It's—I'm not—"
"—Fuck, Kagome," he intruded, her explanation or defense clearly not wanted. "Why didn't you say anythin' about this sooner? If I'd've known, I would've made sure I—fuck, I dunno—wasn't vague with you about shit. I was an asshole to you by actin' like him and I didn't even know it."
Kagome sighed. "It's fine, Inuyasha, honestly." She breathed around a blush, her heart thudding. "You and I didn't want defined terms, remember? Commitments and guarantees aren't on the table—we're just feeling it out as it goes, right? So, you don't need to feel badly about how we got here. I've come to accept what happened with Hojo, the whole being-romantically-led-on thing. Is it embarrassing? Yeah. Will I ever let it happen again? Definitely not! Will I get over it? Eventually—I promise."
Kagome sighed and reached over to squeeze Inuyasha's fingers. "I appreciate your outrage on my behalf, Inuyasha—I do. I promise this isn't something you need to hang onto, though—okay? I'm trying to look at it as a valuable life lesson and move on from it." She looked down to observe the way his one fist shook against his thigh. "'Cause I will move on from it—I'm tired of how much this has eaten away at me. I don't wanna be stuck with this sickening embarrassment of how I just continued to follow him around through my twenties like a love-starved moron."
Inuyasha laced his fingers with Kagome's and squeezed until her fingertips started to pinken from his pressure. They sat in silence for a few more heartbeats, their eyes fastened to their clenched hands.
"I didn't mean to upset you by bringin' this up," Inuyasha sighed, squeezing her hand.
"I'm okay." She squeezed back. "Maybe talking about it will help me move on from it." She shrugged optimistically, offering him a mirthless smile.
Inuyasha didn't look smoothed over by her attempt at levity. "Remember what I said back at my place? The first time you came over? Don't waste your emotions and regrets on that asshole, Kagome, 'cause you will move on to better things."
Kagome smiled through an exhale then leaned forward to kiss Inuyasha's cheek with appreciation. "I remember—'cause then you brought up Kikyou and called me a window."
"What?" Inuyasha's face looked perplexed and it made Kagome giggle from how endearing it was.
He either genuinely didn't remember or he was feigning ignorance, feeling embarrassed that she remembered what he had said to her.
That's too bad if he doesn't actually remember—that was a really sweet comment he had made about the universe pushing us together.
Kagome giggled and squeezed his hand again. "Thank you, Inuyasha, for being—I dunno—for just being you about this. What happened with Hojo is something I've felt a lot of shame over. You've—" She shrugged lazily— "You are making that baggage feel a little bit more bearable. So, thank you." She gave his hand one last squeeze before hers retreated to the safety of her takeaway box and the remaining, very cold, sweet potato fries.
Inuyasha looked at her with an expression Kagome didn't feel like translating before he returned his attention to his phone. Kagome was grateful for the quiet between them so she could finish her meal.
A few minutes later, Inuyasha held his phone out to her.
"Physical touch," he said, placing his device in her line of sight.
Right—love languages, Kagome reminded herself, momentarily confused by Inuyasha's comment.
She mumbled an I knew it under her breath before wiping her salty fingers on her pants to grab for his phone, skimming the results. "I suspected that would be it for you—well, that or quality time."
"Why?" Inuyasha raised an eyebrow.
Kagome made an I dunno expression with her face then smiled softly. "You are kind of a touchy feely guy, Inuyasha."
He snorted crudely. "I am not."
"You are, though," she bickered, bumping his shoulder. "I can't tell you how many times you've been more responsive to me touching you than saying something to you."
"Maybe that's 'cause I like it when you touch me."
Kagome scoffed at the suggestiveness of his tone. "Because you like to show and receive affection through touch."
Kagome looked down at where his knee was bent on the cushion, pressed into the side of Kagome's thigh. He had instigated the contact—whether intentionally or not—during their conversation about Hojo.
When he saw where Kagome was looking, Inuyasha self-consciously adjusted his position so he was no longer touching Kagome. A few inches of space appeared between them as his cheeks coloured.
She giggled. "Thank you for proving my point. And also—what about the other times tonight you've touched me? My hair, or my hand, or my cheek? Or kissed me to make me feel better to comfort me? My cheek, my forehead?"
Inuyasha's cheeks coloured a deeper shade of pink and it made Kagome's smile deepen. He looked like a kid who got caught sneaking a snack.
"Sorry—I didn't mean to embarrass you by pointing that out. You really don't need to be, Inuyasha. I like that you do those things." She chuckled, her own cheeks pinkening. "In case it's not blaringly obvious, my love language is also touch. So—keep doing it, okay? I mean—" She paused while her blush deepened— "only if you want to—keep doing those things, I mean. Obviously."
The air between them felt dense following the conversation and Kagome decided to escape it by clearing her throat. She stood, gathering up their takeaway containers, and headed into the kitchen to throw them away.
She turned to face Inuyasha when she realized he had followed her from the living room.
He approached her slowly and rested his hands on her hips, a sigh coating his mouth. He furrowed his brows as his eyes focused on his hands.
"What's wrong?" she asked, her heart instantly pounding with worry. "Did I upset you by teasing you about the love language thing? I'm sorry, Inuyasha, I—"
"—No, it's not that," he interrupted. He was silent for a moment then exhaled and said, "I know you asked me to, but—I can't let it go, Kagome."
"Can't let what go?" She slid her palms onto the backs of his hands, her fingers denting the coarseness of his palms where they rested on her hips.
"What you told me about your ex."
Kagome sighed. "Inuyasha...don't worry about it. I'm serious."
"I can't."
"Why not? If I can—you can."
Inuyasha was silent for a few breaths before he said quietly, "I need a truth from you, Kagome."
"Okay...?"
"Why did you stay with him? Why were you with that asshole for so many years when you deserved so much better than him?"
Kagome's chest and shoulders rose with the gravity of her inhale. She removed her hands from his and stood in front of him feeling awkward. She took a step back, too self-conscious to allow the continued heat of his touch. A choking dryness expanded in her throat as a sadness sprouted from her centre.
It had barely been ten seconds without his body heat and the separation just felt wrong.
Kagome needed his touch like a security blanket.
Without giving her brain a chance to think about it, she reached out and hugged Inuyasha around the middle, resting her cheek in the hollow between his pecs.
"I promise I'll answer, just—gimme a minute." She didn't dare look up to see how he looked at her, the look on his face.
One arm snaked around her back to pull her tightly against him. His other hand cupped the back of her head where it rested against his chest.
Kagome closed her eyes and felt tears begin to surface. She swallowed past the lump in her throat, as if that would also wash down her tears. She focused on the warmth of Inuyasha's scent in her nostrils, the stabilizing comfort of his hands, his touch.
When the threat of crying dwindled, Kagome tried to lick the dryness out of her lips. She took one more final inhale of his soothing musk before she opened her mouth to answer his question.
"We accept the love we think we deserve—I read that in a book once. I think that's pretty applicable for my situation."
Inuyasha's exhale coated Kagome's forehead. His lips moved against her hairline as he spoke. "You're sayin' you don't think you're worth more than what Hojo gave you for eleven years? Romantic indifference? A pathetic sex life? Kagome...come on..."
"The sex was acceptable sometimes," she tried to joke.
"I don't want to think about another guy fuckin' you, Kagome, especially not the same asshat who traumatized you over a pair of fuckin' pajamas. Why don't you think you're worth more?"
She shrugged then planted her forehead against his chest, like she could hide herself away from her embarrassment. She felt the warmth of her breath bounce back to her with every word.
"I don't have an answer, Inuyasha. I just—don't. With Hojo, I quickly came to realize that I'd be disappointed my whole life if I expected anything like what I read about in books or saw in movies. I didn't want to start thinking I deserved more because then I'd start to believe it, and I'd just be setting myself up for a whole different kind of heartache." She sighed, hugging him tighter. "You can't be disappointed if you don't have expectations."
Inuyasha reached around to grab one of Kagome's hands. He pulled on her arm to lead her back into the living room. He sat down on the couch and tugged on her hands until she was sitting beside him, angled towards him, her knees against his. Inuyasha didn't let go of her hand.
"What else has he ruined for you, Kagome?"
"What do you mean?" Her eyes concentrated on the way his thumb skated back and forth across the back of her hand.
"It sounds to me like there's a lotta shit his cluelessness and stupidity has ruined for you. He made wearin' his pajamas a thing, he led you on for years, he made you believe you're not worth more than how he treated you—what else?"
"Inuyasha," she sighed, looking away from their hands. "We really don't need to—"
"—I wanna know, Kagome. Don't hide anythin' from me." He tugged on her hand like he could pull the answer from her.
She leaned her shoulder into the couch, closing her eyes for a few breaths. Kagome opened them when she felt Inuyasha squeeze her hand, his shoulder brushing hers as he leaned back to sit closer to her.
"I'm not hiding, it's just—" She sighed heavily, her eyes searching the room for how to respond. "I can't spell it out for you, Inuyasha. I just feel like Hojo corrupted my whole attitude towards love and intimacy. All I know is that I now realize I want so much more than what I had with him, and it sucks that I don't even know if that's realistic or possible. And the possibility of finding love and then having to figure all this out? To navigate this minefield of doubt and worry and gaping want that Hojo left me with? It scares me more than anything."
She tightened her grip on his hands. "Because I want passion. I want to feel desired. I want sheet-clawing sex." She laughed, the sound choking around a cry that stuck in her throat. "I want something that feels necessary and substantial, like I can't imagine living without it. I want something that challenges me, that makes me want to be a better person. I want someone who knows the ugliest parts of me as intimately as those stupid little things that make me smile. I want someone who genuinely gives a shit about me. I want someone who doesn't make me feel badly for occupying space in their life—someone who doesn't care that I have a bad habit of stealing the sheets or encroaching on their side of the bed."
Tears fell down Kagome's cheeks and Inuyasha hesitated before he reached forward to wipe them away with his thumbs.
When his hands were back in his lap, Kagome reached for them. She gripped his digits tightly between hers, feeling more grounded when she felt the pressure of him squeezing back.
"For my next go-around, I don't want to settle, Inuyasha—because, that's what I did with Hojo. I was so scared I wouldn't find anything else, so I stayed and kept hoping it'd get better. I stayed 'cause I thought what he could give me was better than leaving to only find more disappointment. And that's what hurts the most—knowing that while I decided to accept his indifference, he settled for me, Inuyasha, and then he got rid of me, like throwing away eleven years of me was the easiest thing in the world. I don't want to be the girl that someone settles for. I don't want to be the girl who's easy to walk away from."
Inuyasha yanked on her hands. "You could never be that girl, Kagome. You're not."
"I was that girl, Inuyasha," she spat, detaching her hands from his. "I still am that girl to some extent."
"Goddammit, you're not!" The harshness of his tone startled her. "I know you don't believe that shit, Kagome—that's just the hurt talking right now. I promise you what you're lookin' for is out there. Good things will find you, Kagome. You're too happy of a person to not deserve happiness. You're too passionate a person to not deserve passion."
Kagome snorted, using her palms and the backs of her hands to wipe away the wetness on her face. "God, Inuyasha—you're just gonna make me cry again." She laughed around her tears, pressing the heels of her palms to her eyes, hoping to stay more tears. "Why are you being so nice to me?"
"'Cause I—Kagome, I—" He sighed before sagging into the couch, his shoulder scraping hers. His exhale seemed to sound a change of direction of his thoughts. "'Cause you're my friend, Kagome."
Is that really the only reason why?
Was he—was he going to say something else?
Don't try to read between the lines, Kagome—only disappointment lies there.
Kagome puckered her lips to the side and chewed on her lip. Her cheeks flushed and damp, she rose from the couch.
"Wow, gosh! Okay—that is more than enough Emotional Show and Tell for me. Sorry, Inuyasha, that was just—" She blew out a heavy breath. "I—I'm gonna go throw some cold water on my face—I'll be right back."
He sat forward quickly as she passed him. "Don't apologize, Kagome. Not for openin' up to me—ever. You got that?"
She nodded, biting her bottom lip. "I'll be right back," she repeated.
Exiting for her bathroom, she didn't have the guts to look at him.
Not after the verbal diarrhea she just unleashed all over the place.
Kagome stood in her ensuite for several minutes, her palms resting on the counter while she stared at her reflection and the watery tracks along her cheeks. She counted her inhalations, held them, then let them go until she felt her lungs strain.
I hate how your douche of an ex fucked you better emotionally than he ever did physically.
Kagome scoffed and frowned at herself in the mirror. Inuyasha's words from their fight resonated loudly in her mind and memory. She hated how accurate he had been, how transparent she was, and how emotionally frail she felt after that upheaval.
There likely was some good done in her letting all that toxicity out of her brain. But the brutal honesty that she gave Inuyasha, that he asked for, it left Kagome feeling shook.
She hated how openly she exposed her most sensitive, vulnerable parts to Inuyasha, only to feel a churning tug of disappointment in her gut—a worry that Inuyasha would never extend to her the same vulnerability.
But that didn't matter right now. She needed to get her shit back together and get back to Inuyasha.
Kagome took a few deep breaths, splashed cold water over her face, then took a few more deep breaths before heading back into the living room.
Kagome heard Inuyasha scrounging around in the kitchen and she approached the doorway, smiling gently at the sight of him opening various cupboard doors. Her smile bloomed into a full smirk as she watched him, seeing how he placed two of her wineglasses on the kitchen island.
"Bottom cupboard, beneath the toaster."
Inuyasha looked at her over his shoulder then offered her a canine-revealing grin. He opened the respective cupboard then called out, "No Malbec?"
"Unfortunately, no—that Merlot is a good one, though. If you're in a red mood."
Inuyasha hoisted the bottle by its neck and turned to face Kagome. "New rule for tonight—no more ex talk, alright?"
"I am more than okay with that."
"Good—'cause I don't think I could stand the sight of more tears."
Kagome flushed. "Sorry, Inuyasha—I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable."
Inuyasha grabbed the glasses in his other hand and stopped beside Kagome. He stood so close, Kagome had to crank her neck back to look him in the eye.
"It's not uncomfortable in an ew, she's cryin', kinda way. It's uncomfortable in the I don't wanna see you in pain, kinda way—'cause I don't know how to fix that."
"You being here is a good start." She smiled up at him.
Inuyasha flashed her a smug grin and it made her heart feel lighter.
"Back to camp," he said, nodding his head to the couch. "I'm thinkin' we destroy this bottle and watch a movie where shit blows up."
Kagome chuckled a light laugh and followed Inuyasha to her couch to snuggle into her favourite nook.
Inuyasha dropped a blanket on Kagome's lap then took care of all the details. He looked after the wine, put on the movie, turned off the lights, and concluded it all by sitting next to Kagome so their bodies were in contact. With how Kagome sat curled up on the couch, her feet pressed into Inuyasha's thigh. He gave her calf a comforting squeeze while he lifted his wineglass to his lips.
"Thanks for bein' honest with me, Kagome, despite how much shit sucks."
She turned to look at him, appreciating how the television glow illuminated the stark angles and lines of his face. His silver hair shone a bright, carte blanche. Her eyes followed the movement of his ears, the gentle rise and fall of his shoulders while he breathed.
Fuck me, he's the most beautiful thing I've ever seen.
Kagome leaned forward to place her wineglass on the coffee table. She turned, plucking the glass from Inuyasha's hands to nestle it beside hers.
Inuyasha seemed to startle from the gesture.
"What're you—?"
Kagome's mouth pressed quickly to his, stealing his words until a moan of enjoyment and understanding rumbled from his throat. She cupped his cheeks, holding him tightly, closely, stroking his tongue with hers the second his lips parted for her. Inuyasha's hand rounded her nape, the other circling her waist. He pulled her to him until Kagome felt that glorious pain in her breasts from being pressed against him almost too tightly.
The touch and pressure of his fingertips was scalding on the satin of her pajama tank top.
"I don't know what I'd do without you." Kagome broke apart from his gasp-inducing kiss just long enough to whisper those words into his mouth.
She caressed his nose with hers, her hands brushing back his hair from his face while she peppered his skin with kisses. There was a frantic jolt to her movements, like her desire to show him how much she appreciated him had a fast-expiring time limit. Kagome pulled back to kiss his cheek one final time then rested her forehead against his.
"Thank you for not making me feel stupid or pathetic by being vulnerable with you, Inuyasha."
Inuyasha bowed her head to plant a kiss to her forehead.
"You doin' okay?"
Kagome nodded, her motion causing his head to rock along with her. "Yeah, I'm okay. I just—I wanted to say thank you in a way that I know you'd appreciate."
"'Cause I'm all about those acts of service?"
Kagome laughed against his mouth, her teeth grazing his lips. "Shut up, Inuyasha."
"Make me."
Kagome closed her lips on his, doing exactly what he told her to. A moan writhed from her mouth as his tongue lapped and sucked at hers.
"I like the way this wine makes you taste, Kagome."
"I like the way you taste."
"And how do I taste?" He drew his thumb in lazy circles beneath her ear, causing a shiver to whisper down her spine.
Kagome smiled against his mouth before pulling away from him, reclining into her nook as she adjusted the blanket on her lap. "Like trouble," she grinned slyly.
"Why'd you stop? I was enjoyin' that."
Kagome tittered a laugh. "I'm doing you a favour and helping you wait until Friday."
Inuyasha snorted. "I can wait until Friday, no problem."
"Can you?"
"Yeah—you'll be the one strugglin' by the end of the week."
"And why's that?"
"'Cause after seein' me every day you're gonna be starved for me."
Kagome reached for their wineglasses, letting her fingers tickle across his as she released his glass to him. "What if I'm already starved for you?"
"Then I expect it's gonna be a shit week for you, Kagome."
She smiled against the rim of her glass. "Oh, I don't think so."
"Why's that?"
She sucked back a mouthful of wine. "You said I'm gonna get to see you every day? That seems like an adequate consolation prize to me."
"Not if I make it my mission to torment you until you're mine on Friday." Inuyasha grinned devilishly.
Kagome snorted and raised an eyebrow. "You want me marinating in my arousal all week, Inuyasha?"
A sound like a roguish purr rumbled in his chest. "Fuck, I like the thought of that."
"Yeah?" She leaned forward to put down her wineglass. "You wanna make me want you bad enough that I need to take care of myself—Every. Single. Night—until you can make it all better on Friday?"
That purring sound again. "Fuck, Kagome—don't tease me with that imagery. Especially with those cute little shorts of yours."
"What about my shorts?" She looked at where most of her legs were exposed by the bundled blanket.
"I want them around your ankles."
She arched an eyebrow at him. "Be my guest, Inuyasha."
The dog demon looked like he could have choked on his wine.
Kagome smirked victoriously. "What? You wanna call my bluff, Inuyasha? You don't think I'd like it if you approached my corner of the couch to start undressing me?"
Inuyasha shook his head as a chuckle rumbled out. "I think you're a good source of your own trouble, Kagome."
"Probably," she grinned.
"You lookin' for trouble tonight?
"Maybe—are you hard for me right now?
"Very."
Kagome hummed a pleased sound in her throat. "How do I smell, Inuyasha?"
"Like you've already started marinating for me."
Kagome giggled coquettishly. "You like the thought of me all juicy and tender for you, Inuyasha?"
"Fuck, Kagome," he groaned, his eyes glazed with lust. "You're somethin'."
She giggled and covered her lap with the blanket.
"Why're you looking at me like that, Inuyasha? Isn't there a movie on you should be watching?"
He looked at her like her hair was on fire. "You could seriously concentrate on anythin' other than me right now?"
"You're welcome to use my washroom if you think masturbating to the thought of me will help you concentrate on the movie."
"Kagome Higurashi..."
The man looked downright frazzled.
She guffawed so loudly it brought tears to her eyes. "You're too easy to tease, Inuyasha."
Inuyasha placed his wine on the coffee table then leaned over Kagome, his arms on either side of her head along the couch back and arm.
Kagome liked the way his chest slowly pressed to hers, forcing her back into the couch cushion.
"This doesn't feel like waiting until Friday, Inuyasha," Kagome said slowly in a sing-song voice. She rested her palm on the centre of his chest. She loved the way his heart pounded and fluttered like a wild animal.
"I wanna propose a new rule, Kagome."
"Other than no sex until Friday and no talking about exes anymore tonight?"
"Yes."
Kagome rubbed her hand across his chest then trailed her fingers, lazily, up his neck until she could trace his strong jaw. "I'm all ears, Mr. Taisho."
"Your next orgasm will be mine."
Kagome's flush was luminous in the television glow. "Ye—yeah, on Friday, when we—"
"—No," he interrupted. "I don't think you understand me, Kagome. I don't care how much you want it, how wet I make you, how badly you need to come. You are not allowed to pleasure yourself. You will not touch yourself. The next time you come, it will be with me, by me. Do you understand?"
Kagome's panties absorbed a swell of her aroused discharge and Inuyasha groaned into her neck. He kissed the juncture of her neck and shoulder, mumbling against her skin, "You smell like you understand me perfectly."
"Inuyasha—I—I don't know if I can—"
"You will. Because I can."
"You—?
"—I'm gonna wait for you, Kagome. Despite how hard you make me, despite how rock fuckin' solid I am right now, I'm not gonna do anything about it until it's your hand, your mouth, or your pussy bringin' me release. I expect the same level of control from you. Understand?"
Kagome felt dizzy with arousal and she leaned her head forward until her forehead collapsed against Inuyasha's chin. "Fuck, Inuyasha—I don't think I've ever been this wet."
"I look forward to hearin' those words from you again on Friday, Kagome."
"You're the worst," she said into his neck with a smile.
"You're fuckin' soaked for me and it's the most beautiful thing I've ever smelled."
"You're gonna make it a trying week for yourself, Inuyasha. You think you're up for seeing me every day? Knowing I'll be keeping you hard and aching for me?"
"I think you forget, Kagome," he chuckled, "that I lasted two months of you keepin' me hard and aching for you. Of the two of us, you'll be the one sufferin' this week, darlin'."
Darlin'—Jesus, that word and the tone he used to say it alone made her even wetter.
Kagome flicked her tongue against his bottom lip. "We'll see, Mr. Taisho. I can only imagine how lonely your hands will be after being so intimately familiar with you these past few months."
Inuyasha chuckled a darkly delicious rumble and offered Kagome a bright, mischievous smile. "How about we focus on the movie rather than how much you like the visual of my hand around my cock?"
Kagome placed a moist, gentle kiss to the corner of his mouth before resting back into her couch nook. "I haven't a clue what's goin' on, but if it makes you happy, Inuyasha, I can pretend to watch the movie until it's time to go to bed."
Inuyasha grabbed her arm, forcing her out of her nook until she fell against the side of his chest. Inuyasha draped his arm around her shoulders before adjusting the blanket over her lap.
"You lookin' forward to bedtime with me, Kagome?"
Kagome rested her head in the space between his chest and shoulder. The scent of his skin was a lush aphrodisiac and soothing balm to her heart. She appreciated the quiet intimacy of the two of them on her couch, in the dark, with her living room highlighted in colour from the changing scenes on the TV.
"Maybe," she said with a kittenish shrug of her shoulders.
"Maybe?" Inuyasha placed a kiss to the crown of her head, his lips lingering afterwards.
The warmth of his breath caused Kagome's eyelids to flutter, not with arousal but with a sleepy sort of comfort.
"Mmhmm. Are you looking forward to bedtime with me, Inuyasha?"
"I am—I'm excited to rub it in your face when you can't stay away from me. You'll be cuddlin' with me by the time you wake up."
"Is that so?"
"It is—see, I don't think you can keep your hands off me, Kagome."
"I don't want to keep my hands off you, Inuyasha." She turned to look up at him, her nose nuzzling the line of his jaw. "Maybe I'll wake up and you'll be the one cuddling with me."
"That will be very likely, actually."
"Oh, yeah?"
He grinned into her hair. "Didn't you say earlier you have a nasty habit of stealin' all the sheets? Maybe I'll be cold and needin' some of your body heat."
Kagome smacked Inuyasha on the thigh while he chuckled mirthfully. "Watch the movie you put on, Inuyasha."
Inuyasha drew her against his chest, his arm circling her tightly while his lips once again rested in her hair. "Sure thing, Kagome," he chuckled.
It was no more than fifteen minutes before Inuyasha heard the soft breathes of Kagome sleeping peacefully against his shoulder, in his arms.
Kagome woke to the feel of lips on her cheeks, her forehead, her nose.
"Hey, wake up—the movie's over."
Kagome squinted and rubbed her face against a shoulder and then a hard, well-shaped bicep.
"Kagome—time to go to bed. You fell asleep on the couch."
She felt strong hands rubbing the hair out of her face.
Kagome groaned into Inuyasha's shoulder before forcing herself to sit up, rubbing at her eyes. "What time is it?"
"Late. Come on."
Kagome felt barely awake enough to navigate walking to bed, but thankfully Inuyasha held onto her hand and guided her into her bedroom.
She couldn't remember the last time she fell asleep on the couch.
Kagome headed straight for her ensuite, closing the door most of the way. She relieved herself, washed her hands, and had just stuck her toothbrush in her mouth when Inuyasha came in, his shirt off and jeans unbuttoned.
The carnal sin of his appearance made the fogginess of sleep disappear immediately from her vision.
"Hey, you got an extra toothbrush, by chance?"
Kagome nodded, her own toothbrush bobbling with the motion of her head. She absentmindedly brushed while she opened a drawer and handed him a package of what he asked for.
Brushing their teeth, side-by-side, their eyes met in the mirror before Kagome broke their eye contact to trace the firmness of Inuyasha's cut muscles. She quickly returned her focus to the mirror, her eyes appreciating the handsome symmetry of his face. Kagome felt her mouth curl at the ends into a smile at seeing how his gaze trailed across her body, apparently appreciating the sight of her spaghetti strap tank top and satin boy shorts.
How the hell did I used to have my hands on him and not come on the spot?
Fuck, Kagome—do not! You're about to get into bed with this guy. You can't think shit like that.
Oof—my money's on we don't wait until Friday. I think I might—
—Nope! You most certainly will not!
"You good, Kagome?"
Her eyes returned to his with a snap. Only when she registered the smugness of his smirk did Kagome realize she had stopped brushing at some point and just stood there to ogle him.
Who the fuck walks around with their pants half-done like that? Like, what even is that, Inuyasha!
She groaned and rolled her eyes at herself before quickly scrubbing her teeth, spitting into the sink, and putting her toothbrush away.
Kagome was tucking herself into her sheets and adjusting the comforter when Inuyasha emerged from her ensuite. She turned her back to him, a flush washing over her cheeks and settling into her stomach as she felt the other side of her mattress dimple when he sat. A glowing heat sparked between her legs when she heard the soft caress of jeans falling to the floor. A short lived draft cooled her core when the duvet lifted behind her.
Only to be replaced by the scalding hot furnace of Inuyasha's body.
Kagome licked her lips—all trace of former sleepiness long, long gone.
"You gettin' ideas over there, Kagome?"
Ugh, the smug bastard—she could hear the vain amusement in his voice.
"What? No! Why?"
"'Cause I smell trouble."
This son of a bitch and his stupid dog demon senses.
"You know," Kagome groused, holding the comforter to her chin, "you don't have to mention it every time you smell my arousal." Kagome peeked at him over her shoulder.
Inuyasha lay on his back, the duvet resting just above his hips with his hands on his stomach, rising and falling with his breaths. Her eyes took in the hardness of his nipples before she redirected her focus to his face. She saw him smirk at her ceiling, his eyes not turning to acknowledge her gaze.
"Sure, I do. I like how often it happens. I like knowin' how often it's gonna be happenin' this week."
Kagome snorted, turning her back to him once more. "Well, once we start having sex, your body won't be so scandalous for me anymore, Inuyasha, so enjoy getting a rise out of me while you still can."
She felt Inuyasha turn behind her and his hot palm cupped her bicep, prompting Kagome to look at him over her shoulder again. His proximity to her—and the availability of his naked upper torso next to her—worsened the aching heat Kagome felt between her thighs.
Inuyasha's eyes dipped to her mouth then returned to her eyes, his lips curling up with that wickedly, impish expression of his.
He shifted his hips, scooting closer to Kagome, and then propped his elbow on his pillow, and rested his head in his palm. "Yeah, I don't think so, Kagome. I bet it'll just get worse."
"How?"
"'Cause right now, it's your ignorance and imagination gettin' you hot over me. Once Friday rolls around, that won't be the case anymore."
Kagome scoffed. "I promise you, Inuyasha—your body will be old news soon enough."
He smiled at her knowingly. "Not in the least. 'Cause you'll know how good it feels when I touch you, when I kiss you where you wanna feel my mouth. I'll learn your body like nobody else ever has, and I'll map all the places that make you moan for me, the spots I can touch and taste that will make you come harder. And once you know how good I can give it to you, Kagome, you won't be able to stop wantin' me. Your interest in me—in my body—will just get worse. I'll keep you juicy and tender for me, Kagome—mark my words."
Kagome's heart was aching as arousal seeped from her cleft, wetting her panties. She pressed her thighs together, feeling the echoing demand of her hungry clit radiate through her.
"I can smell how much you like that thought, Kagome."
She flipped over to face him. "You can't possibly say things like that to me and want to wait until Friday."
Inuyasha smirked. "Maybe I like the idea of gettin' you wet and wanting and ready for me."
Kagome eyed him suspiciously. "Are you hard right now?"
"I'm usually hard in your presence Kagome."
She shuffled closer to him, propping her own head up to return his gaze. Kagome could smell the mint on his breath.
"Well, maybe I like the idea of having you hard and desperate for me in my bed, Inuyasha."
He lazily inched closer, his knees bumping hers. He kept his hips angled away from her—infuriatingly—so she couldn't feel his erection. "Maybe I like bein' hard and desperate for you in your bed, Kagome."
Kagome laid her head on her pillow, her eyes looking up at Inuyasha as she traced her fingers across his shoulders, a gesture that pushed away some of his hair that fell over his chest.
Jesus Christ, the traps on this guy were just...Greek god-like. Statuesque.
"You're eyein' me like you want something, Kagome."
"I do want something from you, Inuyasha."
He leaned forward to place a gentle kiss to her lips, a gossamer touch of a whisper. It fluttered a siren of wetness between her legs. She hated how sexy it was when he was gentle with her.
"Yeah?" he said against her lips. "What could you possibly want lyin' next to me in bed?"
Her fingers brushed his bangs from his eyes, touching him soft enough down his temple and jaw that she hoped it tickled.
"The same thing you want, Inuyasha."
He tucked a strand of hair behind her ear then draped his arm across her waist, above the comforter.
"And what would that be, Kagome?"
She leaned in until her lips brushed his.
"Sleep."
Inuyasha chuckled a scoffing breath then kissed the end of her nose.
Kagome watched him lay down, facing her, and close his eyes. He was close enough to kiss with the barest of effort needed on her part. Her eyes ravaged every contour and wrinkle and hair of his beautiful face, softening as he sought to fall asleep.
"Stop studyin' me and go to sleep, Kagome," he mumbled without opening his eyes.
Kagome flushed and licked her lips. She closed her eyes for the fewest of seconds before they snapped back open with a troubling thought.
"You—" She gulped— "you're not naked, right?"
Inuyasha cracked an amber eye at her. "Why don't you peek under the duvet and tell me?"
"Inuyasha..."
He chuckled and rolled onto his back, putting some space between them. "No, Kagome, I'm not naked. I left my boxers on. I remembered what you said—relax."
Yeah, Inuyasha in only boxers is so not any better than a naked Inuyasha in my bed...
Kagome contemplated saying something as she pouted but Inuyasha had a question for her first.
"Isn't it weird? Sleepin' in clothes?"
"What? No, not at all. I like it—it can be cozy."
"Have you ever tried sleepin' naked?"
"I have. It's just—" Kagome paused to flush— "I think it might be different for women—things aren't exactly dry for me to feel comfortable not being covered."
Inuyasha opened both eyes to look at her now, his head turned. "Knowin' how drenched you get for me, Kagome, I think I'd like it if you slept naked in my bed. I think I'd like it a fuckin' lot if you left evidence you were there, marking your scent on my mattress."
Kagome looked away from him, the heat on her cheeks scorching her all the way through. "You're a fiend, Inuyasha."
Inuyasha chuckled a low, soft rumble in his chest, and Kagome saw his eyes close again.
"Go to sleep, Kagome," Inuyasha bade softly, his timbre laced with slow torpor. "You can continue flirting with me in the morning."
Kagome tucked her fists under her chin and snapped her eyes closed.
As she listened to the rhythmic drone of Inuyasha's even breathes, sleep found her almost immediately.
Kagome had always been a light sleeper—the slightest disturbance woke her.
The feel of the mattress moving behind her was enough to jar her from sleep.
Kagome's eyelashes fluttered with fatigue. She settled back into her pillow, expecting sleep to find her again quickly. However, a brief moment of wakefulness found her as she felt a large, warm—mostly naked—body slither up behind her. Her pillow jostled as Inuyasha snaked his arm beneath it, reaching around Kagome's neck, cupping her upper torso until the rigidity of his forearm separated her breasts as he held her to him. His other arm laid along her side, over the flare of her hip, to rest on her thigh.
His breath was warm against the hair at the nape of her neck, and it lulled her back into a reminder of sleepiness, of comfort, and her eyelids fell heavily.
Kagome released a content exhale and shimmied backwards into Inuyasha's spooning warmth until she felt his hips circle her rear, leaving no space between them. A small rumble in his chest sounded in response and Kagome gripped the arm that rounded her chest. Had she been more awake, she would have realized this was the most he'd ever touched her breasts, or noticed the closeness of their bodies and the semi-erect penis pressed against her backside.
But his hold was sweet, it was gentle, it heart-warming.
There wasn't anything scandalous or sexy in his touch—it was a bringing together of their bodies for sleep.
Inuyasha wanted to hold Kagome's body to his while he slept.
Kagome snuggled into the fine hairs along his forearm, pressing a gentle kiss to the flesh before clutching it tightly, like a child with her teddy bear.
Inuyasha nuzzled his face against the nape of her neck, placing a gentle kiss at the top of her spine. He pulled her in close, his heartbeat a measured source of respite that sung Kagome to sleep.
"Go back to sleep, Kagome."
Inuyasha's breath was warm and had her snuggling into him again. She wiggled her back and body closer into the front of his, removing any possibility of space between them.
She was too tired to blush, to react, to realize that this wasn't an act of a man lost to slumber, but a man toeing the line of wakefulness, who made a conscious decision to bring their bodies together.
Sleep claimed her once again, but not before a curl of a smile lifted the edges of her mouth, which rested against Inuyasha's forearm.
Kagome woke to bright sunlight tracing the edges of her closed bedroom door.
She was tucked into Inuyasha's chest, his chin against her head, caging her in. His arms were firm around her. Kagome drew her left arm from where it dangled over Inuyasha's waist and fisted it with her other, underneath her chin. A blush soaked into her cheeks at her proximity to Inuyasha's sculpted body. She was close enough to his chest that she could kiss it, merely by puckering her lips.
Kagome became aware of how flush their bodies were, their tangled legs. She drew her thigh from underneath his and adjusted her hips from his. The slight movement had Inuyasha rolling over in his sleep, releasing her.
She was slow and deliberate in her movements, rising from bed, adjusting the duvet so he wouldn't get cold. She rounded the bed to place a kiss on Inuyasha's cheek before she left her bedroom, closing the door behind her. She used the main restroom off the living room then headed into the kitchen to make coffee.
The coffeemaker burbled with life and Kagome crossed her arms, leaning against her counter. She bit her thumb while she reflected on her evening, her night, this morning.
Her heart didn't choose to focus on the awful things she'd shared with Inuyasha the day before—the vulnerable honesties she tried to ignore as much as possible. Instead, her heart was thudding at the words they had shared, the kisses they exchanged, the way they held each other while they slept.
Kagome had thought this before, but things with Inuyasha—post-fight—felt so different.
And it was a really, really nice different.
He had an openness with her now, a comfort and familiarity—an intimacy, even—that he never showed her before. It left Kagome feeling restless in an unbridled, eager way. She didn't know what to make of it—it scared her, it excited her. His touches were considerate, tender. He was forthcoming and generous with how he touched her, kissed her. It made Kagome feel giddy being on the receiving end of so much affection from him.
Because that's what it was—Inuyasha was affectionate with her now.
The coffeemaker beeped, signaling the best time of day, and Kagome pulled two mugs from her cupboard. She busied herself, pulling milk and cream from the fridge and sugar from the pantry cupboard before Inuyasha was behind her, his arms wrapping around her waist, pulling her against his chest.
"Good morning," he whispered against her neck. With the word morning, Inuyasha placed a soft kiss to her nape, causing Kagome to giggle from his tickling breath, her neck retracting into her shoulders.
She turned around, her arms circling his neck to draw him into her. "Good morning."
A good morning kiss on the lips seemed too intimate—too couple-ish—so Kagome leaned forward to kiss his cheek instead. She detached herself, with a blush, and poured coffee into the awaiting mugs.
"Did you sleep okay in my itty bitty queen bed?" she asked, peeking at him over her shoulder.
Inuyasha grinned mischievously. "Yeah, I did. Well—except for one point when I woke up and you were rolled up in the sheets like an omelet, only havin' left me about three centimetres of the mattress."
Kagome flushed and turned away from him quickly. A gross, oily feeling started rising from her stomach, but it didn't get past her kidneys before Inuyasha had her spinning to face him.
"You didn't let me finish," he said, his hands on her waist. "I like that you wanted to get close enough to me it practically forced me outta your bed." He leaned close until their noses were touching, his fingers dragging back and forth over her waist. "It's not a big deal—I just took back some space and unwrapped you like a present."
Kagome blushed and looked down at the floor. "S—sorry, Inuyasha—I've been told many times that I take up way to much space in bed."
Inuyasha's grip on her waist tightened. "When you spend the night on Friday, you'll have more space than you'll know what to do with." Inuyasha paused to grin at her wolfishly. "But, I'll probably still wake up to you like a cute li'l omelet, wantin' to get close enough you'd risk pushin' me outta bed."
Kagome stuck her tongue out at him. "Well, my apologies for the inconvenience of trying to get close to you, I guess."
Inuyasha wrapped his arms around her waist more fully, pressing a kiss to her forehead. "I suppose I can forgive you for wantin' to be close to me, Kagome."
Kagome pushed up on her toes to place a gentle kiss to his lips. After all, they'd been up and talking for a few minutes—that didn't technically count as a good morning kiss if it wasn't the first greeting of the day between them.
"So, what did you do after you unwrapped me? I presume you shoved me over to my side of the bed?"
Inuyasha snorted, reaching around Kagome's body—pushing into her and forcing her against a counter with his reach—to grab one of the mugs of coffee. He brought it around and sipped it in front of her forehead.
"You mean my side," he answered.
Kagome rolled her eyes at him. "Nope—my house, so therefore, my side."
"So, at my place, the right-side will be my side?"
"I think that makes sense, don't you?"
Kagome decided she liked the smell of freshly sipped coffee on his breath.
Inuyasha grinned. "Very rational of you, Kagome."
"What can I say? I'm a rational person."
Inuyasha insisted on taking Kagome out for breakfast, which she resisted for as long as she could until she couldn't. It was the first time they'd gone out for breakfast.
Another first for her and Inuyasha. One of many apparently.
Their Saturday morning was simple, uncomplicated. It was fun.
If this was a glimpse of the possibility of more with Inuyasha, Kagome liked it.
She liked it a lot.