Sorry, missed a week! But this chapter is extra long :)
Warnings for this chapter: Sex between 17-year-olds that could be construed as coercive, an ableist slur, sexual content
"Sometimes I hate them," Kakyoin said, "Mom and Dad gave up on me." He sat on a sofa, while Jotaro lay on his bed, both in pajamas, in a dim Riyadh hotel room.
Jotaro adjusted his pillow, "Stands are hard to believe."
"Easy for you to say," Kakyoin sucked in an angry breath, "They could have made me tell them. If I'd got the words out, I could have proved it." He held his head in his hands, "But they just wrote me off."
He was trying to hide it, but Jotaro could tell Kakyoin was close to tears. He got up from the bed, and sat on the sofa next to him, wrapping his arm around his shoulder. "I remember when people started giving up on me." He gazed out the window, at the setting sun, "I was in Seventh Grade and we did this diorama project, the type where you made little models of your house and family. The other kids made fun of mine. The teacher too. I just snapped. Threw some punches." Jotaro laughed, "There were dioramas everywhere." He inhaled, "Miss Ito walked me out and told me I couldn't come back until I behaved myself. No punishment or lecture. After that, the deal was if I stayed out of the way, she wouldn't bother me."
Kakyoin nodded, and slowly his posture perked up. Jotaro rubbed his back. They sat silent for a long while, the room becoming dark as day turned into night. Then Kakyoin sat up, turning to Jotaro, who moved his ear closer, expecting him to whisper something. Instead, Kakyoin grasped Jotaro's shoulders and kissed him.
Jotaro froze. Kakyoin's lips were against his, Kakyoin's tongue was slipping through his mouth. He jolted back. "What are you doing?"
Kakyoin moved away too, looking down at his lap. "I'm sorry-" he stammered after a long while, "I'm desperate. Girls are all covered up here and it's been so long-" His voice trailed off.
Jotaro regarded him. He'd heard of such things: teenage boys, without the outlets of men, so deprived they resorted to doing stuff with each other. He thought about it. It had been two weeks since Joseph had taken him to see the prostitute, which he had told Kakyoin about, because he told Kakyoin everything, but it had whet his appetite instead of sating it. His desire felt like it was about to burst out of his body sometimes. Like it was strangling him. And Kakyoin's torso looked just like a woman's. And would Kakyoin still like him, if he declined? "I'm not going to kiss you," said Jotaro.
Kakyoin's head craned away for a moment before he caught Jotaro's meaning, then he shifted closer. He put his hands on Jotaro's hips. "Is this okay?"
Jotaro nodded.
Kakyoin kneeled in the space between his legs, and quickly pulled his pants down. He started licking. It was a strange sensation. Part of Jotaro was revolted. It swirled deep in his gut. But Kakyoin's mouth was so much stronger than a woman's. He sucked so hard. It felt incredible. But then the revulsion would rise, to be canceled out by pleasure. When Jotaro came, his muscles jerked so hard that he saw stars.
Kakyoin's face appeared, and he smiled. It was far too eager. He was gay, Jotaro realized. He'd always known deep down. Ever since Kakyoin had gone on that strange, fake tirade about his mother's beauty. Kakyoin rolled down his pants, with almost a jovial air. Jotaro peered at his erection. He'd agreed to this exchange so hastily, but now he wanted to vomit.
"It's okay if you use your hand," Kakyoin whispered, catching his expression.
Jotaro nodded, feeling lighter. He pulled Kakyoin into his lap, and started stroking. With Kakyoin's long red hair in his face, he could almost imagine … But his thoughts were so scrambled that he couldn't imagine anything.
Kakyoin went fast, and afterwards, Jotaro moved back to bed. He caught a whiff of Kakyoin's sweat on his pajamas as he pulled back the covers. "I'm tired, let's get some sleep." He turned out the light. His head was spinning and he needed to think about what had happened before facing Kakyoin again.
It was harmless, Jotaro decided. Nothing that high school boys didn't do. And Kakyoin was helping save his mother. And Jotaro had never had a friend before.
Jotaro sat smoking on his balcony, convincing himself he didn't want to go out. An open beer, alongside several empty bottles covered the frosted glass table in front of him. Though Thanksgiving break was over, Trent and Melissa were still away, in Orlando for what they called a holiday after the holiday, so Jotaro was spending his Saturday night alone. He had already mentally composed an apology to Trent, for rejecting his good advice, then he would ask out whatever ugly girl he suggested. Then they'd go on dates, and he'd take her to homecoming, and she'd blow him kisses at graduation, and they'd have babies and live on a nice block and go to PTA meetings and he wouldn't spend his life shunted to the margins.
Jotaro took a swig of beer. He wanted to feel flesh. The solitude of his apartment, which felt peaceful in any given moment, added together, was starting to sting. He missed Trent. What if one of those Disney World rides he and Melissa loved malfunctioned? And why hadn't Holly come to see him for Thanksgiving? He should probably phone Mr Nakamura and introduce himself, Jotaro realized. Relationships moved fast at that age, and it was a bit of an awkward situation, Holly having foreign elders but a Japanese son. But he couldn't quite bring himself to.
Jotaro stared down the block at The Anchor. He'd feel good, for a bit. Someone would want him, for a bit. One last time.
"How much have you had to drink?" the bouncer asked, holding up his flashlight.
"Just a few," said Jotaro.
The bouncer gave him a stern warning glance, then opened the door. The establishment was almost completely empty. There was a group of men playing cards at a distant table, and a couple chatted at the end of the bar. But it would be rude to leave. He gestured to the bartender for a Stella, "Where is everyone?"
He laughed, pouring the drink, then leveling the foam, "Most people don't vacation this week. Too close to Thanksgiving."
Jotaro took a sip, "Just got back myself."
"I wondered where you were." The bartender raised an empty glass, mimicking a toast, "You amaze me, man."
Jotaro's brow furrowed, "How many women I pick up?"
"No," he winked, "How you scare them off." He slapped the bar like a comedian.
Jotaro's jaw clenched, and he leaned forward.
"Just kidding!" The bartender showed his palms, "In fact, I could use some pointers-"
Jotaro lifted his glass, drained it, and slammed it on the counter. Then he got up and left.
Jotaro paced down the sidewalk towards his apartment, his arms swinging. Though the crowds were thin, he nearly mowed over a pedestrian. "Excuse me", he grumbled, pushing past, then noticed it was the blonde girl in the apron he'd watch rush past his balcony. She was even more breathtaking up close.
"Hey!" he yelled, turning around and catching up with her, "Do you work around here?"
She froze, looking up at him.
"I've seen you walking by."
Her mouth twisted.
"I live right over there," Jotaro added quickly, pointing at his balcony. She was short, her head was barely above his waist, so he stooped as he spoke, "You're hard not to notice."
The girl pouted, but her eyes held a twinkle of amusement.
"Let me take you out for drinks," Jotaro said.
She pressed her lips together.
"Unless you already have a date?"
The girl laughed, touching her cheek, and there was a pause before she spoke, "I'm in my work clothes."
"You look great," he smiled.
She glanced up at the sky, "Okay-" her voice broke off, and she struggled to speak. She had a stutter. "But I need to- need to get rid of my apron."
"I can take it."
Nodding, she untied the strings, and handed it to him, revealing a tight black shirt and pants. He folded it, the dirty surface inwards, and hung it over his arm.
The bouncer at The Anchor gave Jotaro a strange look when he saw he had company, then he squinted and examined her face. "Do you have ID for her?"
Carmen, as she'd introduced herself moments earlier, glanced up at him helplessly.
"Of course," Jotaro removed his wallet from his pocket and pulled out a twenty-dollar bill, which he handed to the bouncer.
Satisfied, the bouncer opened the door.
"How old are you?" Jotaro whispered as he led Carmen to a table.
"Eighteen."
"Me too."
Her eyebrows rose.
"I promise. I just look older."
They sat down, and Jotaro caught sight of the bartender. Waiting for Carmen to turn her head, he flashed his middle finger. The bartender spread his arms, gesturing towards the heavens in response, thankfully with an air of jest. He came over to take their orders.
"Stella," said Jotaro.
Carmen gave her lip a nervous chew, "I'll have one too."
Their drinks soon arrived, and Carmen sipped hers as she looked around, "I've never been in here." She paused, "I mean, it's kind of a tourist place."
Jotaro's lip curled, "Where do you drink?"
"El Ecuestre," He fingers twisted around the stem of her glass, "But it's Cuban. The waiters speak Spanish."
Jotaro's head tipped, "Are you Cuban?"
"Arrived ten years ago." She spoke in a distant voice.
Jotaro sipped his drink, searching for his next line. He couldn't very well pretend to be traveling to a sanctioned country. He settled on, "Do you like it here?"
Carmen shrugged. "It's alright."
She was giving him absolutely nothing to go on. "Just alright?" he echoed.
"We barely escaped-" Her voice fell off, We- we couldn't bring anything with us." Her lips flapped silently, "It's been hard."
Jotaro inhaled, "That sounds difficult."
Carme nodded, "How did you end up here?"
"I came from Tokyo," he said, "For school."
"That's a long way."
"My parents split up," Jotaro said, reciting the polite American euphemism Trent had taught him, after he'd made several classmates uncomfortable with the full story, "My mother's American."
"She- she's here with you?" Carmen asked.
"No, she's still in Japan," Jotaro replied without thinking.
Her forehead wrinkled, "Why-"
Jotaro let out a long sigh, "Can we not talk about this?"
Carmen shrunk back in her chair, and her neck bent down towards her legs. Her gestures almost looked Japanese, the way her cheeks went pink, the way her eyelids fluttered. "I'm- I'm sorry," she stuttered.
Jotaro's throat twinged. She was so beautiful, even with her face scrunched up like that. "I didn't mean to yell at you. It's a long story. Not really bar conversation."
She touched her chest, "I want to hear about it."
He hesitated, but she had such sincere eyes. "I don't know the English word. My mother's-" He peered into his glass, "Mentally retarded? No, that's not quite right-" He sucked in a breath, "Anyhow, I don't think she could adapt to somewhere new."
Carmen's perfect lips parted, "That can't be easy."
Jotaro opened his mouth to brush it off, but those eyes. Those eyes. "It's not."
"I mean, I guess I live here now?" Jotaro said as he drained the last sip of a bottle of Stella. He was sitting on his living room sofa, shoulder-to-shoulder with Carmen, "It was all so sudden." He discarded the empty bottle on the coffee table with a clank. "Not that Tokyo was great either."
Carmen rested her hand on his leg. "I- I used to have this dream, that Fidel Castro was deposed, and we could go back." Her voice was soft, almost a whisper. Jotaro liked that. "And everything would be exactly the way it was before." Her head tilted, so her cheek was closer to his, "But I went to school here, and my- my Spanish is full of E-English words. I heard that where we used to live is an office building now. One day, I r-" She was silent for a few seconds, "Realized that the place we lived doesn't exist any more, and e-even if it did, I wouldn't know how to live there." Her voice gained resolve, "That means I'm an American."
Jotaro nodded deeply, then moved closer. She rested his head on his chest. God, she was beautiful. Jotaro felt an inexplicable urge to protect her. He wrapped his arms around her waist and rocked her slowly. He kissed her exposed neck. Carmen froze, and for a moment it was like time had stopped. Had he broken the spell? But she turned around so she was facing him, gazing at him intensely. Bending forward, he pressed his lips against hers.
It all blended together after that. Kissing her desperately, clutching her tiny body, carrying her to the bedroom. When he tugged at her shirt, she stiffened, stepping away. Her face, which was growing pinker each passing second, craned away from him. "Can-" The flailing of her lips caused jolts that shook her tense body, "Can we turn out the lights?"
Jotaro flipped the switch. He would have liked to see her body, but as he laid his hands on her waist, she was already more relaxed. His hands slipped up her shirt. "Is this alright?" he whispered.
"Yeah."
Slowly, he undressed her.
Soon, they were naked, in bed, under the covers. Jotaro clung to her as they kissed, his hands exploring her body, but still, she felt like a rabbit who was prone to startle and hop off at any moment. He felt her nubs of breasts. They were soft and smooth. Carmen shifted. She was sensitive. He kept stroking and her breath quickened. He kissed her neck, her shoulders, her mouth, not letting up, until her hips started thrusting against him.
He spread her legs. No resistance. But she was tight. He pressed in carefully, not wanting to hurt her, but her hips were thrusting, at first forcing him a bit deeper, and then all the way up to the hilt. She let out a strangled sound. He could have come right then, but he held on, feeling the tightness, feeling the need in her tiny body. Her legs wrapped around his waist. He was howling like an animal. He grasped for her breasts. Her nipples were hard and he rubbed them with his thumbs. She whimpered. He pressed harder, pinching, and she came. God. Fuck. He'd never felt anything like it. It sent him over the edge, hissing, wailing, holding onto her with all his might.
When Jotaro woke up, he kept his eyes closed for a few seconds before getting the courage to see whether Carmen was still there. She wasn't. Damn it, he'd really thought- He was startled by a banging coming from the kitchen. He got out of bed and moved towards the door, but turned back to grab a robe. She might be embarrassed to see him naked.
He found her back in her clothes, opening and closing his kitchen cupboards. "You don't have anything for breakfast." She opened a drawer. "Just rice and- and-" she pointed to several jars, "Pickled herring."
"You can absolutely have rice and pickled herring for breakfast."
Carmen wrinkled her nose.
Jotaro laughed, sidling up to her, "Let me get dressed and I'll take you out."
She almost nodded, but then pulled away, "I think I'll just go."
His head tilted to the side, "What?"
"People will see us." Her cheeks turned pink, "I've never done anything like this before, you know. With a stranger." She looked away from him, until the words came, "But I just broke up with Ricardo. We're done now- now that I've been with another man."
Jotaro stared at her, his heart sinking. He snapped, "What did Ricardo do?"
"He wouldn't get a job-" Her mouth wobbled, "I slave away at Uncle Oscar's store, but he's too good for it."
Jotaro felt like the floor was shaking beneath him. Of course this was just a ploy for someone better. But it was embarrassing to be like this in front of a girl. He steadied himself. "Time for someone new." He spoke in a hollow voice, "Let me take you out."
She bit her lip, "I don't know."
Jotaro clenched his teeth. Fuck women. "Did what happened between us last night mean nothing to you?"
Carmen froze, stammering. "It's just- it's just-" She swung her head towards him, "I'm not a slut, you know."
He chuckled internally at that, despite his distress. "It doesn't have to be now. I'll take you out for dinner tonight."
"I'm working."
He flailed his arms, "When is your night off?"
"Tuesday."
"I'll take you out on Tuesday," he said with exasperation.
"I- I don't know-" Her soft voice became quieter, "You'll have expectations."
Jotaro's forehead creased.
Carmen put her hands on her hips, "I'm not going to do it unless we're serious."
He regarded her, "I won't pressure you. I promise."
She touched her cheek skeptically.
"Come for dinner. Please." Jotaro hated how desperate his voice sounded.
She let out a breath, "Al- alright."
Thanks for reading. Remember, fave or review if you like, tell me off if you don't!