BPOV
"I was leaving because I honestly thought I was being selfish... I mean, it makes complete sense if you don't want to do anything with me," he said when I was about to leave, "I realized that I was hurting you with all my terrible ideas and I thought it'd be good if I just leave. I thought I deserved this for my mistakes..."
"Yeah... I'm also trying to decide if letting you stay is a good idea or not," I said.
He chuckled weakly.
"I'm pretty sure you'll regret it," he said.
"Most likely, yes," I said.
"Bella..." He sighed, "Can we go somewhere tomorrow... Just you and me... so that we can talk?"
"Okay..." I said.
I mean, what was the point of letting him stay if we were not going to talk?
But how was that going to go?
I had no idea... I guess we just had to try it out!
"Thank you," he smiled.
"Alright..." I said, "I'll see you tomorrow then."
I hoped this was a good idea...
"Yeah," he smiled.
"Where are we going?" I asked him when he picked me up the next morning.
This was... surreal.
I couldn't believe we were doing this...
This was a terrible idea!
This was not going to bring anything but pain!
"I don't know..." he said, "I'll just drive and we'll decide some place."
"Sounds good..." I said.
That's what we used to do.
We used to go on long drives, sometimes with no destination... He'd just keep driving and we'd keep talking on random topics... I used to love that so much!
Sometimes I really missed those drives...
"I want to say something before we start..." He said after some time, "Most of the things I'm going to say are going to sound like bullshit... Because they are bullshit. I don't really have any good explanation for what I did..."
See? I was really questioning if this was a good idea and he was starting like this!
"I don't know what I was doing with my life, but I'm really ashamed of what I did and who I had become... But I'll try to explain..." He said.