The Straw Hat Pirates were having a fun time at the party. It's been happening for hours, and they were all doing their own thing.

Luffy was eating enough to feed a starving nation. Sanji was in a booth while flirting with several beautiful ladies. Usopp was telling stories of their adventures, some of them were almost true. Nami was trying to win a drinking contest with Zoro. Diamond Tiara was also in the contest, while also doing something else.

"Hey, we should get out of here. Have some fun on our own." Diamond Tiara was sitting with a cute girl with brown hair. She was on her thirtieth drink and was plastered.

"I don't know. We're both girls," she said with a blush.

"Was that meant to stop me?" She would usually be more clever with her pickup lines, but the alcohol was getting to her.

The girl giggled. "We could go to my place if you want." She winked.

"Lez go," the pirate captain slurred her speech. She then immediately tripped and hit her head. She fell asleep in an instant. The rest of the crew soon followed suit.

Chapter 5: Worst Hangover Ever!

Dymon D. Ciara

Oh god, my head was killing me. I got up from the floor of the bar and held my head. I stayed that way until I got outside. A group of people were yelling so I went to shut them up.

I got to the road with the yelling. It had buildings and a dirt road. The mayor was on the floor. I also figured out who the loud people were.

They were Zoro and Nami. "Why do I have to be in your money-making schemes," yelled Zoro.

"Sure, I get the money. But the contracts benefit all of us."

"Do you expect me to buy that?!" I couldn't either, but my head hurt so much I couldn't think.

"Hey, both of you shut up! I got the worst hangover ever," I said.

They ignored me. "By the way, you still owe me 200,000 berries from the loan I gave you." After some convincing, Zoro went off to do stuff. Don't ask me what it was. "You also owe me some money." Nami pointed at me.

I didn't forget. 300 million, plus whatever I owe for the clothes. But I still had one option. "What are you talking about?" Gaslighting. "I didn't borrow any money."

"Yes, you did."

"No, I didn't." We argued for a few seconds.

"Damnit, Diamond Tiara! You owe me 301 million berries!"

"Pshshshsh." I laughed. "Wow, at least get my name right." I walked past her and saw the mayor. "Uh, what's up with you?"

"Please save the princess. I'll pay your debt for y-" He squirmed on the floor.

"Shut up!" The mayor's face was pushed into the floor by Nami. She then pointed at me. "What do you mean your name isn't Diamond Tiara!?"

My headache got worse. I shouldn't have drank all those barrels of whiskey. I should've stopped at twenty. I quietly swore that I'd never drink again. "Please stop the yelling. I haven't felt pain in a while and it's real bad this time."

Nami took a deep breath. She looked strained for some reason. "What's your name for real."

"Diamond Tiara."

"That's what I said."

"No, you didn't."

"Yes, I did."

"No, you didn't." We kept arguing about that. I didn't understand, I kept saying that my name was Dymon D. Ciara and she was acting like I said something else. She was so rude!

"Whatever, just don't get on the way." Nami sat on a barrel. She looked annoyed. I had no idea why.

"I'm so ashamed." The mayor was talking again. I listened. "If only I was strong enough I could've protected the princess."

"What princess? Nobody said anything about a princess."

"Miss Wednesday is actually Nefertari Vivi from the kingdom of Alabasta. Our country was infiltrated by an organization called Bara blah blah blah." I spaced out for a moment. The exposition was becoming torture.

"So, if I save her you'd pay my debt?" Nami tried to step in but I put my hand over her mouth. I'm pretty sure she bit me.

"Yes, she needs to leave this island." He was crying. I almost felt bad.

"Woohoo!" Nami punched me when I let her go. It didn't hurt nearly as much as my hangover. I ran towards Zoro. "No more debt! Screw you, Nami! But not in a gay way!"

I ran for a while, but none of the buildings changed. Everything in the town looked the same. Zoro and the princess were near some cactuses. There was also some lady with an umbrella and a guy in a red jacket. I opened my mouth to proclaim my presence. "Zoro! I finally found you!" But I was interrupted by Luffy. Or a bouncy ball that looked like Luffy.

Luffy went on about how Zoro attacked the townsfolk and wanted to fight him. I did my best to diffuse the situation. "Yeah! Kick his ass!" In my favor.

Luffy attacked Zoro. "Luffy," Zoro yelled.

"Hey, are you two bad guys," I asked the two strangers.

"That depends on how you look at it," said the girl with the umbrella. Yeah, they were bad guys.

"I won't let you take the princess! I need the money!" I looked behind them and saw her, she had her hair down. It was amazing. "She's also kinda hot."

"Oh, you think you can defeat us?"

"Yes."

"How forward. Mr. 5, blow her away." The guy started picking his nose.

"Let me guess. You're gonna pull out some gold?" It was the greatest joke of all time. Scholars would write about this day. Wait, why was he flicking it at me?

A large explosion covered me in a dark cloud. It was so loud. My hangover came back with a vengeance. A constant pounding hit between my ears to create more torture than I've experienced in my entire last few days. I wasn't playing around anymore. I was gonna tear these guys a new one.

I walked forward and punched blindly. I wasn't going to wait for the smoke to clear, that was an awful idea.

The smoke cleared. The bad guys were fine. "Wow, you guys are tough." They were smiling. "What's so funny?"

"You punched Luffy," Zoro yelled.

"I don't see how that could've-" I looked down. Luffy, a large ball of rubber with a hat, was lying on the floor with a large bruise. "Does this mean I'm the captain now?" I've proved my dominance in a fight.

"No!" Luffy punched me. How did we wake up so fast? I was launched into a building, destroying the wall.

It didn't help the hangover. "Ow." I laid in the rubble. It felt like my brain was torn out and was being beaten by a crowd of children with bats. Did that make sense? It didn't matter, I was hungover.

I got up just in time to see Zoro and Luffy fighting again. Mr. Five and what's her face were merely watching. I snuck up behind them and lightly flicked the guy in the head.

He turned around. "Yes?"

I slapped him. He was launched into the wall. It left a hole with his exact silhouette.

"Mr. Five," the lady screamed. "I'll get you for th-"

I took her throat in my hand. Squeezing until she couldn't breathe. "I'm giving you one chance. Follow your friend. Maybe he's alive, take that as a bonus. If I ever see you again in my life, by the time I'm done with you you'd be begging to finish the job yourself. You understand?" She nodded.

I let go. The lady fell to the floor with a loud bang. She then ran through the hole in the wall. The most interesting part was the sizable dent in the floor she made. She must've been heavy, at least a few thousand kilograms.

Looking at my feet, I was also a few inches into the ground. I stepped out and made my way to the princess.

She was sitting on a duck. "Hey, I'm here to protect you."

"What about them," said the princess.

"Don't worry about them. They ran like cowards."

"Not those guys. I meant those two." She pointed at Zoro and Luffy.

"They're with me. But you already knew that. They won't hurt you. They're too stupid." I didn't know about that. I kinda had a body count.

"Both of you stop!" Nami suddenly appeared and hit the two guys in the head. That stopped their fight. She dragged them towards us. "Hey, princess. Let's discuss business." She had a smile that hid the devil.