"Hurray! Lu Lu World!"
"I have no idea what the fuck that is." Adam watched as Syn began doing little flips in the air. She started bumping into his cheeks again and again. He held out his hand to stop her.
"I do not know either! But Master said it very enthusiastically!"
"Yeah," Lucifer raised an eyebrow at his own (admittedly confusing) creation. Once Adam got back into Heaven, Syn would be such a chore to explain. "I was confused why you were so excited."
"Because you were excited!"
"Oh shit, for real for real?" Lysander spoke up, sounding happy. Damn, just when Adam was starting to like him, he had to go play along with Lucifer's attempt at showmanship. "Lu Lu World fucking kicks ass! My dads used to take me all the time when I was a kid. I used to work there in college. Not that I needed the money, cause, ya know, my dad's rich and all that. But I did the face painting."
"That just means you had a good dad- or rather good dads-" Lucifer quickly corrected himself. Adam was starting to think Lucifer didn't really know who Lysander's family was. "Who loved you and wanted you to experience the finer things in life. And your employment taught you great customer service skills. And seeing it on your resume landed you with the only job more coveted than Lu Lu World: working for me directly."
"I thought you gave me this job because my dad talked you into it." Lysander didn't sound all that convinced.
"Even your dad who I know quite personally, could not have convinced me without work experience at Lu Lu World." This was clearly a point of pride for Lucifer- but given that he was the Sin of Pride, what wasn't? Still, it didn't really give Adam any additional information as to what the fuck a Lu Lu World was, or what it entailed. (And he remained unconvinced that Lucifer was really all that close to, or could even name, Lysander's dad. Any of them since apparently, he had more than one.)
"Yeah, none of this clarifies anything." Adam looked between the Devil, the Hellborn, and the sentient exhaust pipe- then back to the Devil and Hellborn because he was quickly learning Syn knew shit-all when it came to Hell, or really just life in general.
"Lu Lu World is my magnum opus, my little bit of paradise here in Hell- for those who can afford it- it is a wonderful place full of joy and fun- or else. And most importantly it is a testament to me!" A bunch of tiny, Muppet versions of Lucifer appeared behind him, unfurling a brightly colored banner with a castle silhouetted in the back and rainbow letters spelling out the name of this supposedly 'great' Park. That sort of overdramatic bullshit was par for the course when it came to Lucifer.
"Sounds kinda desperate, not gonna lie." Adam examined his nails on his silhouetted hand, frowning for a moment. The fact that his nails looked a little different unsettled him. Welp, that was something to obsess over at a later date. Right now, he had a Devil to take down a peg. (Plus, he could blame the elongated nails on the alleged infection. No way he was actually Fallen from grace this was all some kind of misunderstanding. At least, that's what Adam would continue to tell himself until the Metatron herself came from on high and delivered the message that this was truly his fate. And Adam happened to know that She wasn't available at the moment to be delivering sentences of permanent damnation to anyone. Once she was back and this was all explained, he could finally return where he belonged.)
"It's not desperate. It's awesome." Lucifer scoffed. "That's why Heaven tried to rip it off when they made Promise Land. Yeah, mine came first." Lucifer smugly gestured to the banner still behind him and the Muppets shook the banner until rainbow sparkles fell out of it, onto Adam's head.
"Don't diss it until you've been, dude." Adam really had been starting to rethink his stance on Hellborns with Lysander's- admittedly funny- sneaking prank. But he couldn't accept a coworker who would blindly simp for Lucifer.
"I am just excited to be able to leave the house."
"Wait." Adam had to pause his inner monologue on the vast disappointment Lysander had caused him for just a moment because Syn's little comment was enough to cause Adam to slowly turn and face Lucifer. "You don't let her leave!? What? Is she like a hostage in her own home!? All that hard work she does for you, and you just keep her locked up!? No wonder she compares herself to Cinderella!" In all fairness, Adam didn't really know how much work Syn did or how good she was at it. But the point remained that she should still be allowed to leave if she wanted.
"I'll be honest," Lucifer turned to look at Syn who was doing little flips in the air, "I'm a little surprised that she knows who Cinderella is given that she's never once expressed any interest in fairytales."
"I like stories about helping people. That is what I do! I help make the Master's life much easier."
"Gonna be honest with you Syn," Lysander patted the top of her cylinder, "not sure you understood the point of that story."
"So, you read it to her?" Lucifer tilted his head slightly. "I didn't realize you two hung out. Or really interacted at all."
"Nah, she must have picked that one up on her own. I'm not super into human books. I find their portrayal of conflict to often lack an edge. If I read something there had better be an accurate beheading. Or there has to at least be cute animal companion, but if anything happens to the cute companion, I will fucking find the author on Earth or in Hell and kill them myself. And you know they'll be in Hell because that's what fucking happens to people who kill the adorable animal sidekick." Lucifer, Adam, and Syn were all quietly staring at Lysander as he finished. Lucifer cleared his throat.
"Right... you are... weirdly passionate about that. Anyway," he turned to face Adam, "the reason that Syn hasn't been outside is that she is still new and learning. The Sinners would rip her to shreds, if not physically, then emotionally. Look at her man, she's sensitive. But at Lu Lu World I can let her out in a controlled environment. It might even be good for her to have some diverse interactions." Adam did hate to admit Lucifer was right about literally anything, but Syn did seem a little optimistic and naïve for Hell. His Exorcists would destroy her. (Maybe, once he was back, he could reason with the girls since Syn wasn't technically a Sinner or even a Hellborn and what was the purpose of killing a flying calculator? Clearly, he would be back in Heaven by the time the next Extermination took place. He... kinda had to be.) Adam shook himself as he started to feel cold.
"Outside! I get to go outside!"
"You sure do, and you can have front row seats to Adam taking a bite of hot, fresh humble pie served by yours truly." Lucifer did a little jump and bow and the Muppets pulled out trumpets with the hands that were not holding the banner and blew an over-the-top fanfare for the short sack of shit holding Adam (and apparently Syn) trapped in his comfortable, but still clearly evil mansion. (Sure, Lucifer said Adam was free to leave, and that Cain "was upset" and "didn't want anything to do with Adam", but Adam had an Exorcist back home whose name would say differently.)
"Delightful! I did not know you could cook!"
"It's an expression, Syn." Lucifer's bravado immediately faltered a bit as he was called out by the sentient can of chips.
"You can't cook?" Adam laughed. That was good ammo to have on the supposed most creative and talented of the angels. Apparently, the deceiver could be defeated by a simple recipe. This was important because it was something Adam was actually quite skilled at. Maybe he could challenge Lucifer to a cooking competition, win his soul back (or at least a set of golden pans, that asshole loved betting golden shit on fights he couldn't win.)
"I can cook, thank you very much. But as an angel, I can conjure which is much simpler." Lucifer regained his poise without difficulty. "But if you haven't been to our kitchen, then you wouldn't realize that cooking in my house comes with a unique and nuanced set of difficulties-"
"You mean the monstrosity that paces back and forth and attacks when you make too much noise." Adam cut him off. He had actually been to the kitchen- no thanks to Lucifer. At least Lysander and Syn believed in helping newcomers get acquainted with the mansion.
"Quackers. Yes." Lucifer gave a nod.
"I have a lot of questions about Quackers, not gonna lie." Adam figured he might as well attempt to ask. Sure, he might get ignored, but they were on the topic. "So... The biggest one is why? I mean I get that you're a master of evil bullshit and all that... but like... your own fucking house? And why the kitchen?"
"If you really must know," Lucifer looked away from Adam to polish the apple on his cane, "he was a home security system, originally. One of many, all of which do an amazing job." He hesitated for a moment. "... except him. Not really sure what went wrong there. He just got really hyper focused on the kitchen. Stays in there almost all the time. And it's not like I can't go in there, because I am all powerful and he is no match for me- but like he seems really settled in there. Just seems rude is all." Adam crossed his arms over his chest, raising a skeptical eyebrow at Lucifer's explanation. (He made sure to raise the eyebrow on the white side of his face as it was much easier to see than the one on the silhouetted side. He wanted Lucifer to be able to clearly read his disbelieving expression, after all.)
"He attacks you too, huh?"
"I never said that." Lucifer's head instantly snapped to look at him.
"You didn't really have to." Adam gave a little shrug. "I feel like it was implied."
"Well, I don't know what to tell you, Adam you dense-ass motherfucker. If you are taking implications from sentences where they definitely do not exist- that just sounds like a personal problem." Lucifer's tone was so as-a-matter-of-fact thatAdam felt like he was being challenged.
"Then why can't we take him with us to the theme park?"
"Do you want to go ask him?" Lucifer gestured toward the hallway that would eventually lead Adam into the kitchen. "Be my guest. I mean he wouldn't fit on the rides anyway, but I suppose if you want to stay home with him out of solidarity, I can lock you in the kitchen with him. Not sure how much he would like that, but you've got that Heaven sense of justice, and far be it for me to interfere."
"Does this mean we do not get to go to Lu Lu World?"
"I can't disappoint Syn. Not fair to her." Adam was relieved to have a way out of admitting he had no desire to face off with Quackers again. Once had been more than enough for a lifetime- or an afterlife-lifetime.
"No no, I can still take Syn and Lysander. It wouldn't be fair to them. You are absolutely right. But it also wouldn't be fair to you to deny you the opportunity to spend the time you clearly crave with Quackers." Lucifer wasn't going to let up. Fucking bastard. "Unless you don't want to ask him, of course." Lucifer locked eyes with Adam who shifted uncomfortably under his gaze. Fucking called out.
"Yeah... no... it's fine." Adam struggled to find the proper words to dig himself out of this hole he now found himself in. "I mean, if you think he isn't ready for the outside, you are the one who made him." Fuck, even just that small concession felt like it was eating Adam alive to say it. "And you did want to prove to me how amazing this dumb park is supposed to be. How are you going to stroke your own ego if I stay behind?"
"Are you sure Adam?" Lucifer put his cane back on the ground, folding his arms and leaning on top of it. "Far be it for my ego to separate you and Quackers."
"No, I... um... I'm good. Let's just go to the fucking Lucifer Land or whatever." Adam had been called on his bluff and he hated it, but there wasn't much he could do to back pedal at this point. He just had to blindly accept it and hope this wasn't held over his head for the rest of eternity. (Though knowing what a petty bitch Lucifer could be, Adam didn't particularly like his odds.)
"Lu Lu World, you weren't even close. Try to pay attention, Adam. Weren't you a general? You would think with all your Heaven Military training you could remember the name of a Theme Park that has been said multiple times in the last few minutes." Lucifer smirked as he stood back up. "But once it completely blows your mind, I am sure you'll remember it then. Maybe you just hit that head of yours way too many times on the way down." He tapped Adam on the top of his head with the apple shaped cane topper. "I mean you probably have even seen the park on one of your trips down to destroy all my things." Adam didn't actually pay attention to the locations in Hell during Extermination Day, and that was steadily starting to bite him in the ass.
"It's not that I can't remember, it's just that I don't care." Adam tried to explain it in a way Lucifer's feeble and senile mind could understand. "I am perfectly capable, just not willing. Big difference."
"Sounds like an excuse to me, but whatever helps you sleep at night, asshole." Lucifer seemed frustratingly unfazed by Adam's attempts at insults. Theme Park or not, if this is what his day entailed, this really was Hell.
"I can't believe we get to go in without a reservation." Lysander truly seemed excited about whatever awaited them. Adam wasn't sure if that was a good sign or not. On the one hand, he was a Hellborn who fed on misery and hatred, and unborn babies- or something like that. (Adam didn't really know anything about the particular type of Hellborn that Lysander was- but those facts seemed accurate.) On the other hand, Lysander had his own gym and seemed to enjoy pranking Lucifer. So, Adam was, logically, torn.
"When you're with me, you don't need a reservation." Lucifer popped his collar and walked toward the door; nose held so high in the air that if it rained, he'd be the first to drown. Or at least- that would be the case if he had a nose. Which he didn't. Nose-less freak.
"Fieldtrip!" Syn fluttered right behind him.
"Do stay close, Syn. Hell is dangerous, and I don't want you getting broken or stolen. You should be fine when you're around me." Lucifer put his hand on the top of her little cylinder body. "But I can't protect you if you fly off."
"I will be good!"
"I know you will," Lucifer opened the mansion door. "Come on, unless you want to stay back with Quackers!" He called with a sing-song voice. Adam rolled his eyes and hurried to catch up with Lysander who was already outside the door. "You sure Adam? This park might be too extreme."
"Shut the fuck up." Adam made sure to flip him off as he exited back out into the putrid heat of Hell. "God it's like Satan's fucking ass-crack out here."
"Don't make me think about that. I actually know that guy, Adam." Lucifer made a face before taking the lead. "But you better get used to the heat, my newly Fallen little bitch~ Because this is mild compared to some of our worse days."
"Ughhh don't say that. I am in long fucking sleeves man!" Adam threw his arms down in frustration.
"I'm in a suit, stop whining." Lucifer reached behind him and poked Adam's cheek with the apple on his cane. Adam swatted it away. Lucifer made a show of leaning over to Syn. He began whispering in the most obvious fake whisper Adam had ever heard. "I don't actually feel hot. It's part of my angelic nature to self-regulate my body temperature. Just another of the many benefits of being me."
"You're not a fucking angel!" Adam snapped. Lucifer's head snapped to look at him, grinning from ear to ear.
"Neither are you!"
"Sonnuvabitch." Adam had walked right into that. He went to shove his hands into his pockets for a proper sulk. He did, thankfully, have pockets on his robes, it wouldn't have been divine if he didn't. Though he recalled wearing his war-gear the last time he was down here, he was now just in his traditional garb. Which was weird. What was even more confusing was the fact that the emblem on his chest had been inverted and his gloves and mask were gone. He begrudgingly removed his mismatched hands from his pockets and looked at them as they walked, squinting at them as if that would, in any way, help him figure out where his gloves had gone. (His nails were also longer, sharper, more claw-like- which was not a fact Adam was loving.) He flexed his fingers only to have a fucking apple cane-topper press into his palms, slowly forcing Adam to lower his hands. He looked up to see Lucifer was staring at him. Adam gave him as nasty a look as he could muster on short notice. "What?"
"Are you...okay?" There was that sympathetic look from the devil once again. Jesus fucking Christ, could Adam not even theorize in peace?
"Where are my gloves?"
"W..." Clearly Lucifer hadn't been expecting that exact question as he looked visibly confused. "What? What gloves? What are you talking about?"
"Gloves." Adam held up his hands. "I wear gloves like... all the time. But ever since I woke up here, I haven't had them. So where are my gloves, Lucifer? What did you do with them? And my mask and helmet?"
"Why do you think I have them!?" Lucifer blinked.
"Well, I always have them, but I haven't since I woke up. And according to you the only places I have been since I got to this literal Hellhole were the hotel and your house so... where'd you put my stuff?"
"Listen fucker, those gloves were probably burned off your hands. The mask and helmet broke when you di-" Lucifer cut himself off very quickly and cleared his throat. "When you arrived..." The way the Devil corrected himself made a chill run over Adam's skin. He shook himself, scoffing at the explanation.
"Well, I have more in Heaven. Have Sera send them down for me. Or better yet, let me go Upstairs and get them myself." Adam thought his demands were fairly simple, but rather than agreement, he was met by Lucifer's laughter.
"I don't know if it's the Corruption, or if you're always this fucking delusional, but that is not gonna happen, man."
"What do you mean delusional!? It's Heaven, Fuckface. They've gotta let me get my things because it's the right thing to do or whatever."
"Like I said: not happening. I mean we can ask if you want but you'll just get laughed off the phone call if they even pick up at all- usually, I just get stuck on that stupid automated options menu for like a half hour." Lucifer patted him on the shoulder. "But please, prove me wrong later."
"Fine. I will." Adam folded his arms over his chest for emphasis.
"Damn, what are you guys fighting about now?" Lysander leaned down so his head was between Adam and Lucifer. (Adam greatly missed being able to change his height as an Angel because having Lysander towering over him wasn't a super great feeling. Not that he couldn't kick Lysander's ass at his current size- as he was just back to his height when he had been alive- but the towering angelic form was great for intimidation.) Adam unfolded his arms, holding his hands out for Lysander to see.
"Lucifer stole my gloves, as well as this very cool helmet and mask I have. And now he won't give them back."
"That's not what happened, dumbass." Lucifer remarked dryly.
"Damn. Sucks." Lysander gave a shrug. "But hey, now that you work at the mansion, you can buy new gloves. And probably a better helmet and mask. I mean I'm not really sure what kind you're looking for, but for enough money, you can pretty much get whatever you want in Hell."
"It is not nice to steal the Dickmaster's things, Master."
Adam and Lucifer both nearly tripped as Syn tried to mediate the little disagreement. Lysander burst into laughter behind them.
"Why is she calling you that!? Did you tell her to call you that!?" Lucifer poked Adam in the chest with his cane. Adam held up both of his hands in a motion of surrender, but it did him little good as Lucifer kept poking him. "Don't teach her that!"
"Fuck no! It's goddamn weird coming from her." Adam slapped the cane away before he could be poked again.
"Just coming from her?"
"The fuck is that supposed to mean?"
"It means the nickname is dumb as shit."
"Dickmaster?"
"Don't call him that." Lucifer quickly turned his attention to Syn.
"I thought that was an his preferred nickname."
"It's really not something you should ever call anyone. Especially him." Lucifer's mouth was drawn into a thin line, and he was glaring daggers at Adam.
"Adam. Just call me Adam." For once in his existence, Adam was in agreement with the Devil.
"Okay!"
"That's settled." Lucifer let out a breath at the exact same time as Adam, both their shoulders relaxing in sync. Adam noticed and immediately folded his arms again before anyone else took note. "And look, we're almost here!" He gestured and Adam saw quite the crowd of Sinners and Hellborns lined up in mass in front of a pair of large, arching golden gates. "You just wait here for a moment. Lysander- make sure Adam doesn't wander off. Syn, make sure Lysander doesn't wander off. And Adam... I dunno, just try not to get cut." Lucifer took a deep breath. "I'm serious though, Lysander you make sure, no matter what, Adam doesn't get cut, punched, shoved over- anything that could draw blood."
"Sir yes sir." Lysander gave a little salute and Lucifer vanished. "That's a super specific request. I feel like: 'Make sure Adam doesn't get hurt' would have been sufficient, but that's why I'm not the boss I guess."
"Yeah, it's really because Lucifer is dumb and not because there's anything wrong with my blood. You know, in case that's what you were thinking." Thankfully, Adam was quick on his feet and able to divert Lysander before he questioned Lucifer's request any further. Crisis averted.
"I wasn't. But thank you for ruling out that one, very niche line of thought for me." Lysander raised an eyebrow at him.
"You're welcome." Adam nodded his head. There was a definite shift in the crowd. All at once they started to turn away from the park. The mood went from excited to angry in a matter of moments. Lysander pushed Adam back with his arm and Adam saw the translucent gun appear again as his tail swished. But the crowd didn't really seem too interested in them as Lucifer reappeared.
"Good news everyone! We are going to have the park to ourselves." Lucifer dusted himself off. "The bad news is that there might be a riot."
"Is the bad news that we're missing the riot?" Lysander looked at his gun, then at the crowd, his tail drooping slightly.
"Yes, we're missing the riot. Sorry Lysander." Lucifer patted him on the back. "We're going to use a back entrance into the park to avoid the worst of it. Adam, stay close." Lucifer grabbed him by the wrist pulling him right beside him. Adam tried to break free but found himself to be quite trapped as he was pulled along behind Lucifer. Syn, seemingly giving up on flying at this point, landed on Adam's head. He was impressed she stayed balanced as he was dragged along the gate until they reached a very small, locked entrance. Lucifer tapped his cane on the lock and the door swung open. He pulled Adam (and Syn) through the entryway, Lysander bringing up the rear. As soon as they were through, Lysander's gun vanished.
"Aww..." He looked disappointedly at his hands which had previously been gripping a weapon. "I didn't even get to shoot anyone."
"Sorry, no weapons allowed" Lucifer looked Adam up and down, spinning him around before finally letting him go. "Doesn't look like you got hurt... good."
"I'll be honest, I'm a bit surprised you are letting me go out in any kind of group." Adam had to raise the question. Perhaps this was the point in time where Lucifer revealed the entire Corruption bit to be a bold-faced lie and Adam was secretly fine. After all, why else would he let him go outside?
"Well, you're not going to Corrupt Syn. She's a machine. And I can keep an eye on you and Lysander. Overall, this is a pretty controlled environment." Lucifer gave a shrug. "Plus, if I entertain you, you're less likely to run."
"I am incorruptible because I was made by the best." Syn was still sitting on Adam's head and overheard the conversation, but it didn't seem as if Lucifer had filled her in on his whole scam.
"Exactly." Lucifer gave Syn a little pat. "Now if you are done trying to poke holes in my logic, are you ready to be amazed? Be wowed!? Have your jaw hit the floor!?" Lucifer put his hand on Adam's back as he led him out of the small alleyway and toward this allegedly amazing park. Adam rolled his eyes.
"I mean, I wouldn't hold my breath on that."
"I wasn't talking to you, I was talking to Syn. I know you'll be amazed but you'll also be too much of a petty bitch to actually admit it. I've accepted that." Lucifer pulled Adam out of the alley and gestured dramatically around him. "Welcome to Lu Lu World! A piece of Heaven in Hell, but better, because I came up with it. That's the tagline." Lucifer pointed to a nearby sign that did, in fact, have the entire spiel crawled under the Lu Lu World title. Seemed a little desperate, but Adam didn't have long to think about it because he had finally reached the park.
"Oooooo!" He could hear Syn cry out in excitement from her spot on top of his head. It was a bit overkill, but he knew she adored the Devil and would do anything to help inflate that already planet sized ego. That isn't to say the theme park wasn't something to behold. Adam would never admit it to himself but it was impressive. As soon as he stepped out from the narrow street, he saw a sprawling, gilded wonderland before him. Towering rides, lively stalls of exciting looking games and wondrous prizes, beautiful buildings that looked like something out of a fairytale, and a gorgeous plant life sprawled throughout the park. The streets were paved with some sort of luminescent golden stone that lit up underfoot, it seemed like they were inside as Adam could no longer see the siren call of Heaven, tormenting him from the sky. Instead, the sky looked more like the one back on earth. There were bright stars twinkling overhead, a beautiful glowing moon casting light over the park. It was definitely night (though Adam was fairly certain by Hell's time it was day) but he could still see everything clearly as all the buildings, the street, and even some of the plants gave off a warm, welcoming light. Adam didn't even realize his mouth was open until he felt the apple shaped cane-topper underneath his chin, slowly pushing his mouth closed. Lucifer was grinning at him from ear to ear.
"Nice, right?"
"It's fine, I guess." Adam tried his best to appear nonchalant. It was actually incredible. Upon closer inspection, the posts that helped light the paths were made of pure light. It was shockingly serene, especially for Hell.
"Damn, it would really kill you to pay me a compliment, huh?" Lucifer looked more amused than anything else. "That's okay, I know the truth." He started walking ahead once more. "Now anything with my face on it, you can take from for free. This trip is on me. Anything without my face still costs money because those are independent businesses. I try to support growing industry."
"Wait... seriously?" Lysander looked like a kid in a candy store, his pointed ears were perked up, his tail high. "I am getting a hat!" He immediately ran off to one of the booths with an obnoxious smiling Lucifer-face on the front and returned with an oversized top hat that matched Lucifer's complete with the dopey looking snake and apple on the brim.
"Dude, seriously?" Adam raised an eyebrow. The hat bulged awkwardly in the middle due to Lysander's horns preventing the rim from going all the way over his head. He just had the brim balanced under where the horns curled.
"It's free." Lysander replied as-a-matter-of-factly. "And I am not gonna turn down free shit in Hell. That's lesson one."
"Can I have a hat!?"
"Of course you can, Syn." Lucifer walked to the same booth, picking up another hat and plopping it on Adam's head.
"What the fuck!? I don't want that stupid shit!" Adam tried to take it off, but Lucifer swatted his hands away.
"It's not for you, dumbass. It's for Syn."
"I feel very cool!" Ah right, Syn was still on his head. He could rip the hat off, but then he might accidentally knock her off in the process and- while she could fly- he didn't really feel like possibly damaging her and garnering Lucifer's wrath in the process. (That, of course, was the sole reason for Adam allowing her to remain inside the horrible looking hat. It had nothing to do with how excited she sounded when Lucifer had put it on.)
"You are very cool, Syn." Lucifer assured her. "And you can practice interacting with people by talking to the staff here. It will be good for you to learn how to converse with people outside of myself and Lysander."
"I will talk to all of them!"
"Maybe not all of them, but I like your enthusiasm." Lucifer continued to lead them down the path. Lysander kept vanishing and reappearing with more and more Lucifer themed stuff.
"Can she even see under that hat?" Adam was just waiting for Syn to get bored and move. Though some of the things Lysander was returning with were starting to catch Adam's interest. None of the Lucifer stuff, obviously, but the food looked good. And Adam hadn't eaten since he had arrived in Hell. He was actually starting to feel ravenous which was strange because he hadn't felt hunger at all since, well, he had died. As they walked past each of the booths, Adam saw that most everything was apple flavored: apple tarts, apple turnover, apple fritter, apple cider, and so on and so forth. Finally, he saw just basic popcorn. There was one booth selling it in a stupid looking apple shaped tin, but there was another selling it in a regular bag. Adam's stomach growled so he grabbed the bag and just began to eat. God he was starving. He finished the entire bag and grabbed a second one. He was thirsty too, but that could be dealt with in a moment.
"You know you gotta pay for that shit, dude." The Hellborn running the counter was giving Adam an annoyed look.
"No, I don't." Adam pointed behind him to where Lucifer was probably still standing. "I'm with the Devil."
"I don't give a shit who you're with. I am losing money with the park closed down and you're eating all my food."
"Yeah, but it's okay. I was hungry."
"Listen here you two-toned fuck." The Hellborn started to come out of the booth, claws and teeth clearly visible. "I want my goddamn money and if you don't pay up, I will rip you apart and sell your organs to get it."
"Woah now!" Lucifer was suddenly at Adam's side, a hand on his chest, another on his back as he pulled Adam backward. "You know I don't allow fighting on Lu Lu World grounds, and certainly no dying. You need to take that shit off the property."
"This asshole just fucking stole from me." The Hellborn did relax her posture as Lucifer appeared, but her expression stayed rather intense.
"I was hungry, so I ate the food that was right there." Adam gestured to the shelf where all of the popcorn bags were lined up, ripe for the taking. "I don't see the problem."
"The problem," Lucifer brought his hand to his face and slowly dragged it down in exasperation, "is that she is an independent contractor. Remember? I gave a whole fucking speech on how you can have anything from a booth with my face on it but NOT from booths without it?" He pointed to the booth in question. "Do you see my fucking face on this, Adam!?" Adam still had the popcorn in his hands, actively shoving it in his mouth.
"Right there." Adam swallowed a mouthful of salty, buttery treat, as he pointed to a picture on the side of the booth.
"Adam that is a fucking smiley face! It looks nothing like me!"
"It doesn't have a nose, you don't have a nose..." Adam felt as if he were making some good points, but Lucifer and the Hellborn stared at each other in silence, before Lucifer let out a frustrated, heavy sigh.
"I'll pay for what he ate." He handed the Hellborn a card and she seemed satisfied. "But this is coming out of your paycheck. I am your boss not your fucking Sugar Daddy."
"My pay what?" Adam continued to eat unabashed by what was around him. Lucifer looked for a second as if Adam had struck him across the face.
"Paycheck! The funds you get from doing your job. I keep telling you: this isn't Heaven. Shit costs money."
"Yeah, I never really had to deal with that." Adam gave a little shrug. "I mean we didn't really do that whole... economy thing when I was on Earth. And Heaven just lets you take what you want, so you kinda lost me." He reached for a bottle of wine from the booth's display, but Lucifer pulled him back.
"Nope. Not for you. You have lost your taking stuff privileges as you clearly cannot follow very simple instructions."
"I'm thirsty." Adam pointed at the bottle he wanted.
"Fine. Don't touch anything." Lucifer took his card back from the Hellborn and walked to a different booth, grabbing a bottle wrapped in decorative white wrapping and handing it to Adam. Adam took a swig before spitting it out (he would have spit it all over the Hellborn and her wares, but Lucifer forcibly turned his head making him spit on the ground.)
"Gross. Apple." Adam made a face. Lucifer glared at him.
"Come the fuck on, Adam. It's apple juice. You used to like apples if I remember."
"Used to. I wonder what might have happened that changed that, hm?" Adam met his gaze, still holding the bottle in his hand. Lucifer rolled his eyes.
"The Fruit of Knowledge wasn't even really an apple. It just took the form of your favorite fruit which, for you and Eve, was apples."
"My point still stands." Adam wasn't about to back down. "Do you have anything not fucking apple related." Lucifer took the bottle from Adam and handed him a different one.
"It's water." Lucifer informed him before Adam even had a chance to ask. "So, you shouldn't have any reason to complain. Unless, of course, you suddenly hate water too because you saw me drink it one time."
"Water's fine." Adam snatched the bottle from Lucifer and began to drink heavily.
"Damn, would it kill you to say fucking thanks?" Lucifer looked very clearly annoyed.
"To you? I dunno probably." Adam continued to drink.
"Are you done causing trouble? You haven't even gone on any rides or played any games." Lucifer gestured for Adam to follow him once again. "And if you can't behave, I will take you back home."
"I would like to play a game!" There was a happy comment from beneath the top hat. Adam was beginning to wonder if Syn had gone to sleep or something since she hadn't really interjected in the food fiasco.
"There you are, you didn't want to practice talking to that Hellborn?" Adam tried to look at Syn but she was on his head, making it physically impossible.
"I am shy. I did not know what to say to them. But I do want to try a game."
"I have the perfect game for you, Syn!" Lucifer took them to a beautiful stream filled to the brim with little rubber ducks. "You just pick three ducks and if you get a red apple on the bottom, you win a prize!"
"Oh, I suck at this one." Lysander made a face.
"I cannot see the ducks."
"That's because your hat is too big." Lucifer lifted the top hat off of Adam's head and Syn flew out from under it, buzzing excitedly over the river. "Better?"
"Affirmative, Master!"
"So, she does have eyes?" Adam let Lucifer keep hold of Syn's hat since he was the one who had given it to her.
"She has sensors." Lucifer replied flatly. "So, she can see, just not in a traditional sense." Syn spun in a little circle, nudging one of the ducks. Lucifer picked it up for her. "Nope, two more chances." He put the duck off to the side. Syn flew to a different duck and began nudging it. Lucifer picked it up out of the water, turning it over. "One more chance, Syn." Syn flew around for a minute, back and forth before landing on the back of another duck. Lucifer picked it up and Adam watched the apple mark materialize on the bottom. "You did it!"
"I get a prize!"
"You sure do." He gestured at the (lame looking) prizes hanging overhead. Syn started flying repeatedly into a snake plush that was golden like the one on Lucifer's hat.
"This one!"
"That one it is." Lucifer took it from the rack and handed it right to Adam. "Hold this for Syn."
"Oh shit, can we do the shooting game?" Lysander didn't even make an attempt at the ducks. Adam didn't blame him, it looked- from his perspective at least- that Lucifer had just cheated for Syn to win, but Adam didn't know enough about the game to say for sure.
"I'd play that." A shooting game did sound like more fun for Adam than a game about ducks. He was a pretty good shot, after all.
"Sure, why not." Lucifer led them to a booth where a rifle sat on the table. Lysander picked it up.
"Probably gonna need all my eyes for this, huh?" Lysander, much to Adam's confusion, pulled his hair back, revealing a third eye under his bangs.
"Wait! You have three fucking eyes!?" Adam had spent a good part of his day with this dude and had definitely only ever seen the two of them.
"Yep. Trait from my biological mother." The eye on his forehead closed and seemed to sink into the icy blue skin, vanishing all together. "I can move it at will." Lysander poked out his long, serpentine tongue and the eye was now on the tip of it. It blinked at Adam who jumped back.
"Fucking gross!"
"It's actually really useful, gives me three-hundred-and-sixty-degree vison when I really need it." The eye vanished from the tongue and reappeared back on his forehead. "Great for not getting ambushed~" Lysander took aim with the gun. "Let's fucking go!" All at once the booth sprung alive with cardboard Exorcists popping out from all angles. (Okay, shooting Exorcists felt a little wrong, but Adam still wanted to play.) Lysander began to shoot. He fired off in rapid succession hitting each of the cutouts between the eyes.
"I still got it!" He looked pleased as the Hellborn behind the counter handed him a rather well made, light up orb that looked almost exactly like the moon. It even floated over Lysander's hand. "Papa would be proud."
"I want to try." Adam picked up the gun.
"Adam, you're newly blind in one eye." Lucifer didn't stop him, but apparently felt it necessary to remind Adam of his current condition. "Sure you don't want to try and get used to that first?"
"Pfft," Adam readied the gun. "It's fine. I had two eyes for a reason. Only need one to function." This was the first fun looking thing he had seen. Lucifer shrugged and the Exorcists started to appear again. Perhaps Adam should have taken Lucifer's advice. At first, he was missing rather badly, nearly clipping Syn with one of the (fake?) bullets. (At least Adam assumed they were fake. Lucifer had said there were no weapons in Lu Lu World.) It took him a bit to adjust his aim, he did hit a few shots toward the end, but overall, he was not happy with his performance. "Can I try again?"
"We aren't staying here all day for you to get a perfect score. There are other games." Lucifer waved Adam along to follow him. The Hellborn behind the counter handed Adam a very poorly constructed toy of Lucifer, the arms seemed to be falling off.
"Consolation prize." The Hellborn explained. "Usually for the kids, but you scored about the same.
"Hey, fuck you." Adam snatched the prize away and shoved it in his pocket. He didn't really want it, but maybe he could give it to Cain later as a peace offering. (Though he really needed to win something better than a shitty Lucifer doll to get his son to talk to him).
"Oooo!" Syn flew over to a large glowing Test Your Strength machine. There was a massive hammer sitting off to the side. "Can I play this one!?"
"You can't pick the hammer up." Adam pointed out.
"Aw."
"Here," Lucifer put the hammer beside the metal plate that was supposed to be struck in order to get a score. "Fly into it and knock it over." Syn did as she was told. She flew into the hammer until it flopped over, giving her a rather low score. However, the Hellborn behind the counter gave her a little plastic flower as a prize.
"I won!"
"You sure did." Lucifer took the plastic flower and put it on top of Syn, somehow it stayed put as she flew in a little circle.
"I can play this one." Adam at least had the distinct advantage that he had arms and could actually lift the hammer.
"You know you aren't as strong as you were in your angel form." Lucifer was either cautioning him, or simply trying to save Syn the embarrassment. (Though Adam highly doubted Syn would care. She didn't seem overwhelmingly competitive.)
"It's a fucking game, I think I'll be fine." Adam lifted the hammer. It was heavier than he was expecting, though it wasn't as if it was unwieldy. He tightened his grip, raising it up and slamming it down on the metal plate. The game lit up. His score was... okay.
"Better than I thought you'd get." Lucifer handed Adam a small, plush apple from the prize table. It was only about the size of Adam's fist. Adam rolled his eyes and shoved it in his pocket with the tiny toy Lucifer. There was no way he was dragging Lucifer's fucking merchandise with him back to Heaven. It would be even more unfortunate if he had to explain how he had gotten the Lucifer doll to all his Exorcists. "Here," Lucifer cracked his knuckles, stretching out his hands before picking up the hammer with insulting ease. "Watch the master at work."
"Hurray Master!" Syn called excitedly as she flew in circles around his head.
"You got this, Boss-man! I believe in you." Lysander echoed the sentiment.
"All righty then!" Lucifer made a show of twirling the hammer all around like it was some kind of baton. He brought it down toward the pressure-plate, stopping just before he hit. He paused, looking back at Adam, making eye contact, before lightly tapping the plate. The score soared so high the lights reached all the way to the top. Lucifer picked up a prize, a large potted plant. (Kind of a weird prize for a game, but whatever). He handed it to Adam.
"Bro, I don't want your shit." Adam held out his hands to refuse.
"Really? I'm surprised." Lucifer started to take the gift back, "Cain donated this himself, it's one of his favorite flowers, and-"
"Give it to me." Adam took it back, holding it close. It did look like something Cain would have enjoyed. The bright colors and delicate petals reminded him of the beautiful flowers Cain used to grow for Evie back at their little home. He always had such a green thumb, he took the soil and turned it to art.
"Changed your mind, I see." Lucifer grinned. "Well then shall we go to the best ride in the whole park? I mean we could keep collecting prizes, but we'll have to carry them all home and you're running out of arm space."
"The Fall!" Lysander gave a cheer. "Aw fuck yeah! No wait time!? I am gonna ride it until I puke!"
"Hurray! Ride!" Syn was just agreeable to whatever was suggested so her opinion didn't hold too much water with Adam, but Lysander's comment had intrigued him. (Though he highly doubted Lucifer would be super happy if Adam started throwing up on the ride- but that really just made it all the more appealing.)
"This way Adam, to the best ride in the park. Heaven wishes they had something like this. But since their a bunch of cloud-hugging pussies- they can't." Lucifer was talking a pretty big game- which was par for the course given the Devil's massive ego. (Though everything Adam had seen thus far had been... fun. The games were obviously rigged, but the food was good, and the atmosphere was actually quite enchanting. Not that Adam would tell Lucifer.)
"It probably won't even crack the top ten." Adam shrugged as he followed Lucifer along the pathway. They passed several more rides before they reached a large sign behind a golden glowing stairway. The sign simply read: THE FALL. Beside it was a silhouette of Lucifer and Lilith falling away from the bright ball that represented Heaven in the sky. Adam frowned a bit. That had not exactly been a great day for him but he couldn't compare it to how Lucifer had felt. So why make a ride to commemorate the worst experience in his existence? That seemed like a really strange choice. But Lucifer didn't seem fazed by the whole ordeal.
"I know what you're thinking," the Devil hopped on the first step. "Why make a ride about one of most painful and horrid experiences in your entire life? Isn't that trauma-dumping and a poor coping mechanism? I mean," he laughed, "what are you, my therapist? This ride kicks ASS and I am really happy with it." Adam raised an eyebrow, following Lucifer up the golden stairway. It was quite the climb. The higher they got, the more it felt like Heaven. The beautiful nighttime theme park slowly vanished and Adam was met with bright skies and clouds. There were faceless angels hanging in the distance, he could hear the faint melody of a harp.
"Oh fuck yes!" Lysander managed to reach the top of the stairs first running onto the platform that was shaped like a cloud. Adam bent down, touching it. It even felt like the ground in heaven, soft... warm... he stood back up, following Lysander and Lucifer as he past more faceless angels. These seemed to be moving, flitting about, some playing instruments. It was hard to tell if they were projections or animatronics.
"Please step into the holy center of the room." The ride operator was dressed in angelic garb with the most unconvincing pair of fake wings strapped to her back. "All arms, legs, tentacles, and other appendages must stay at your sides once the ride is in progress. Please place all items along the edge. They will be returned to you at the photo booth. Remember to pick them up because cleanliness is next to Godliness. Now stand still and enjoy the story of our brave and mighty King, Lucifer, and his rise to power in Hell. And have a blessed day." The Hellborn stepped back and seemed to vanish as they closed a door. Adam wasn't even sure when they had entered a building.
"Brave and mighty," Lucifer elbowed Adam in his ribs. "Did you hear that?"
"It's clearly a script dude. Don't milk this." Adam swatted him away before going to put the plant that Lucifer had w- that Adam had obtained- on the edge of the room, along with Syn's snake plush. Lysander put his cool moon-looking orb down as well.
"Oh Syn, you better stay in my pocket. Don't want you falling out." Lucifer took Syn and placed her in his coat pocket, she wriggled a bit till just the top of her was sticking out. Adam presumed this was so she could see. But in all honesty, he had no idea.
"Lucifer Morningstar," All of the sudden, they were not alone. Adam stepped back as he heard a voice speaking. The bright Heavenly lights began to dim and turn red. Shadows cast along the wall. Adam could see a silhouette of Lucifer and Lilith before him, and in front of them, a faceless angel, six wings, two halos, and a flaming sword. The only parts of him not blacked out were the many eyes on the halos and wings, and the distinct, angry frown. "You have committed treason against your holy brethren and broken our most sacred rule."
"Is that supposed to be Michael?" Adam looked over at Lucifer who was staring up at the massive, looming silhouette.
"Shh, yes that's clearly Michael." Lucifer whispered back to him.
"It doesn't look anything like him."
"It's a silhouette! It's artistic, dumbass."
"Also, your name wasn't even Lucifer back then."
"Adam, shut up." Lucifer shushed him again. The silhouette of Michael split into four and suddenly they were surrounded on all four sides by looming, angry figures with their massive wings, clearly outlined weapons in their hands. Adam felt... small by comparison.
"For your crimes, you must suffer. No longer are you welcome in Heaven's divine light. You shall be cast out to the depths below." The shadow of Michael before them was intimidating and Adam found himself stepping backward.
"But I only wanted to give the humans free will." The tiny Lucifer in front of the overwhelming form of Michael was pleading for any sort of mercy. But the simplistic, two-dimensional face stayed contorted in rage.
"Into the void with you traitor!" The Michael lunged forward, and Adam felt something slash against his chest. It didn't hurt, it just felt like a rough blast of air. But it scared the shit out of him. What was even worse was the ground under his feet vanished and he started to freefall. Adam let out a scream, his wings spreading out to no avail. He grabbed onto Lucifer with both arms. Fuck it. That asshole could fly and if Adam was going to fall to his death, he was going to land on the little bitch responsible. He could hear Lysander laughing as suddenly bars wrapped around him and a seat appeared under his legs, and he was sitting on a ride. It began to tumble and twist in all directions. It was dark, pitch black, except for flashes of light where an Angels in Exorcist's masks would appear beside them weapons raise. Finally, the ride came to a stop. There was an animatronic Lucifer at the bottom, a Lilith on his arm.
"I don't need Heaven. I know I did the right thing. We did the right thing. And together we will build a city like no other!"
"WOOHOO FUCK YEAH THAT RIDE IS THE BEST!" Lysander bounced off the ride, practically climbing over Adam to get out. "I want my commemorative photo!"
"Welllll?" Lucifer looked at Adam expectantly.
"It was fine." It kicked ASS. It was probably the most thrilling ride on which Adam had ever ridden. "Not super accurate. The Exorcist Angels during the actual falling are pretty anachronistic and I could do without having to look at my ex-wife."
"People like the Exorcists on the ride. They recognize them." Lucifer gave a shrug as they walked to a little booth where Lysander was buying his picture.
"Like I said, it was pretty fun. Not like it shook me up. I'm a bit too tough for thrill-rides you s-." Adam coughed as he saw himself latched onto Lucifer mid-scream, the Devil looking quite smug in his death grip in the photos at the booth. Lucifer looked over at him with that same self-satisfied expression.
"You sure about that?"
"I was surprised is all. What are you doing?" Adam tried to grab Lucifer who was going toward the photos.
"I want my picture." Lucifer easily kept moving despite Adam trying to hold him back.
"Why would you want that!?"
"Because your face is hilarious." Lucifer held up the photo and Adam's cheeks tinted gold and he looked away quickly, gathering the plant he had to put down at the beginning of the ride. Fortunately, it looked as if it was all in one piece.
"I told you I was just surprised."
"No worries, mate." Lysander put a hand on Adam's shoulder. "You held together pretty well for a first timer. What about you Syn, how did you do?"
No answer.
"Syn?" Lucifer checked his pocket. "Ah fuck. Syn fell out!" The Devil tucked the photo away running back toward the stairs where they started.
"You lost Syn!?" Adam ran after him.
"I did not lose her. She fell out." Lucifer kept running up the stairs with Adam and Lysander following. "Chances are, because she can fly, she just kept floating during the drop." They made it back to the top. Lucifer didn't even look remotely winded, but Adam was panting.
"Please move into th-" The Hellborn started to give the speech again, but Lucifer shook his head.
"We have a straggler." He ran back to the center of the room as he saw the Syn hanging out beside the Michael silhouette.
"You should be nice to Master." Syn was lecturing the animatronic. Adam had to stifle a laugh. "Because Master is very good at what he does, and you are just not nice. You need to try self-care. I can make you an appointment."
"There you are!" Lucifer took her from beside the other animatronic. "You were supposed to fall down with the rest of us."
"That guy was being rude to you. But as your Voice, I defended your honor!"
"Awww, thank you, Syn." Lucifer took her back down the stairs.
They stayed a while longer. Adam tried a few rollercoasters, some more games, even some of the non-apple food. They did have trouble keeping Syn on the rides. She had a habit of falling out no matter who was keeping hold of her. Eventually Lucifer showed her how to get to the lost and found. After a ride, they would go pick her up from there when she inevitably fell out. The poor Hellborn manning the station must have had her ear talked off by Syn.
Adam hated to admit it... but it was actually a pretty fun day overall. He didn't think it was possible to have fun in Hell. (At least for the suckers who were trapped down here. When you were an Exorcist, it was easy.) Lucifer had made his point; he had truly created something exciting down in the worst place in the afterlife. For a moment, Adam was able to see a bit of the angel he had once known in Eden as Lucifer laughed and talked with his mansion staff.
By the time they had made it back, it was already getting late. There were more Sinners on the streets than before. Hell's nightlife was only just getting started. Adam was forced to stay close to Lucifer as they navigated back toward his house. For his first day in Hell... it hadn't been the worst. Adam had definitely suffered far worse as a living human. Perhaps this was just a way to set his expectations mediocre so they could be crushed to pieces at a later date. It was a weird method of torture, but it made some degree of sense.
"So? Not bad right? Who's pathetic now?" Lucifer opened the door, and they filed back in.
"Still you." Adam mused.
"Are you kidding!?" Lysander was in a great mood. "Best. Boss. Ever. I'm putting my prize up in my room!" He bolted up the stairs, stopping as he reached the top. "Syn! Need me to get your door for you? I got your prizes!"
"Oh yes thank you!"
"Yeah, I have a plant to put up." Adam followed Syn and Lysander up the stairs, Lucifer tailing behind them, as it seemed all the bedrooms were on the second floor. He watched Lysander open Syn's door and put her things down before Adam opened his own door kicking the ducks aside and placing his plant on the little desk. It did add a little something, a bit of flair that gave the room a bit more of a personal feel. (Plus, he had a reason to call Cain and show him the flower.)
Adam was tired, but not yet ready to go to bed. Maybe he could work off some excess energy at the gym Lysander had snuck into the house.
He opened his door again, stopping in the hallway. The place was a mess. There were ducks everywhere along with discarded and forgotten papers. (Damn, Adam sure hoped none of this shit was important in any way.) The mansion was gaudy, sure, but it wasn't really an evil lair befitting the King of Lies. If anything, the mess was... kind of sad. He looked at the portrait of Lilith, Lucifer, and their baby that was beside the Devil's room- it was one Adam hadn't defaced. Lilly's judgmental little smile looked just as condescending in painted form as Adam remembered. Good to know she could still haunt him even now. She'd probably find his damnation hilarious- befitting even. If she could see how far he had Fallen...
No. Adam was better than that. He had gone to Heaven for a fucking reason. He was not about to give up on himself. Lucifer had been down here for centuries and he had made fucking Lu Lu World. And sure, Adam would never admit it to his face- but that place kicked fucking ASS! Lucifer had gotten kicked out of Heaven (on purpose, unlike Adam who was clearly only here by mistake) and had made something that even Heaven couldn't completely match!
Maybe Lucifer wasn't quite as pathetic as Adam first thought! Maybe...
He trailed off, surveying the mess again. This mansion wasn't half bad. It probably looked pretty fucking cool in its prime.
It just needed a bit of sprucing up...
Adam took a deep breath and started to pick up the papers that littered the floor. He couldn't think in this mess. (And Lucifer had sort of treated him to a fun time today.) He stacked them on an end table at the start of the hallway and began to gather the ducks. Maybe the house wasn't terrible it just needed a little spring cleaning. And, perhaps, Adam could try and do something to help out. He had been nothing but negative since he had arrived and...
Lucifer's bedroom door swung open, and the devil looked out to see Adam with the last armful of ducks that he was moving out of the hall and into the containers that were not yet overflowing. He blinked, rubbing his eyes. He had shed his coat and vest and was instead in just his pants and collared shirt, he looked as if he was in the process of getting ready to go to sleep. But he was now just standing in the doorway staring at Adam.
"What?" Adam stared back at him.
"D... did you clean the hallway?"
"Am I keeping you up?" Adam didn't give him a straight up answer.
"N... no but... it looks nice out here..."
"I mean, it was just cluttered. Hard to think in this fucking disaster." Adam gave a little shrug. He put the last of the ducks up. His stomach churned and he hunched over a bit. Maybe the food in Hell was starting to disagree with him.
"I... Adam..." Lucifer's expression softened, he looked at Adam who was starting to feel nauseous. "Thank you."
"It's nothing." Adam tried to wave it away. It wasn't a big deal. "Really." Ugh he really wasn't feeling great now.
"No, it was actually really nice of you." Lucifer wasn't letting this go.
"I was just-" Adam cut off mid-sentence, hunching over and throwing up viscous, black goo onto the floor. "Ah fuck." Lucifer's eyes widened. He looked at Adam who stared back at him. Adam looked at the oozing black mess on the floor then back to Lucifer.
"You just threw up." Lucifer looked more shocked than upset.
"Yeah, I noticed."
"You threw up that awful, infectious black gunk."
"Gonna be honest, don't love it when you describe it like that. Pretty fucking gross, my dude."
"But... why?" Lucifer looked at Adam and the First Man found himself staring back at him rather uncertain.
"I dunno man, theme park food? All I had today was popcorn and water. It probably just made me fucking sick."
"No if you were sick you would have just thrown up. But look at that!" Lucifer gestured to the mess on the floor.
"I absolutely do not want to look at it." Adam turned his head the opposite direction.
"That's not fucking food. That is Corruption. You somehow... holy fucking shit..." Lucifer began pacing back and forth. "How... how could this even happen!? Adam..." he turned to face him, grabbing both if Adam's shoulders in his clawed grip, shaking him. "This might be something good- no- GREAT!"
"Great!?" Adam gestured to the mess. "Are you fucking kidding me!? I just cleaned that god damn floor!"
"No, no, no, no, no... forget about the mess." Lucifer's grip on him tightened. "It's nothing. But you..." He looked at Adam with genuine excitement. "I gave to do some research but... if my theory is correct... you might be getting better!"
A/N: Going up a bit early (for once lol) cause I am going out of town this weekend. WOOHOO. Hope This chapter was a fun read! My only wish is that I have done Lu Lu World justice. One day Quackers too can join. One day.