The first ten days at home were a constant trial for both of them. Addison struggled to maintain strength and dedication amidst the burdens she had to bear, while Derek tried to find his place in a world where he was no longer the pilot of his own life. The situation was uncomfortable and sometimes hard to cope with.
She took care of him all the time. Despite his complaints, she helped him bathe, get dressed, tend to his wound, and even walk from one room to another, even though he no longer needed her help for that.
The inability to perform the daily activities he used to do pushed Derek to the brink of despair. He had always been an active man, used to being constantly busy. Being a successful surgeon requires complete dedication and total focus on his work. However, recovering from his gunshot wound left him unable to do anything other than rest and wait for his body to heal. This limitation on his mobility and dependence on his wife only increased his feelings of uselessness and discomfort.
Every day, Derek found himself sitting on the living room couch, watching Addison take care of their two little daughters. Seeing his wife diligently care for their family and himself was a constant reminder of how much of a burden he had become for her.
His wife, who also had a successful career as a doctor, had to put it on hold to deal with the care of the girls and now also with the care of a recovering husband. The physical and emotional exhaustion this caused her was evident in every gesture and expression.
Fatigue was reflected in Addison's eyes, which seemed to lose their characteristic sparkle. Throughout the day, she ran back and forth, trying to meet the needs of her daughters while keeping Derek comfortable and safe. There was no time for herself, and the marks of exhaustion were evident on her face.
However, in front of him, she never complained. Despite having every right to do so, she always showed a kind smile on her face and reassured Derek that everything was fine. She was drawing a strength she didn't even know she had in order not to worry him.
But at night... the story changed a bit. When she made sure her husband was asleep enough not to notice her absence in bed, she would sneak downstairs and drown her sorrows with wine, away from everyone.
~•~
That day was Monday. Twenty days had passed since the shooting at the hospital, and they were both in Teddy Altman's office, conducting Derek's first post-hospitalization check-up.
"Your vital signs are stable," Teddy said softly, "and the wound looks impeccable. It is healing perfectly, in less than a month all the bruises will disappear and there will hardly be any trace of the surgery, except for the scar, of course. It seems you are making good progress in your recovery."
"Well, I'm being well taken care of at home," he said, looking at his wife affectionately.
"And what about the additional tests? The results of the Doppler ultrasound and the electrocardiogram?" Addison asked.
Teddy turned her electronic tablet, showing it to both.
"Results are excellent! Both the Doppler ultrasound and the electrocardiogram show normal heart function. There are no signs of complications or obstructions."
The couple smiled, visibly relieved by the good news.
"So can I resume my life now? Can I go back to work?" he asked.
"In your situation, your wound is healing well and your heart is responding well to the tests we have conducted. I'd recommend that you follow the rehabilitation guidelines we have provided, and in a few more days, you can begin to gradually incorporate exercise into your routine."
"When can I drive again?"
"Once four weeks have passed since the surgery."
"Oh... alright."
"Any other questions?"
"Perhaps this is a bit indiscreet of me, but I think both Addison and I would like to know..."
Addison looked confused, not knowing what he was referring to.
"When can we resume sexual activity?"
"Oh, Derek, did you really just ask that..." Addison muttered under her breath, feeling her cheeks flush.
"Well, generally, it's recommended to wait between six to eight weeks after surgery," Teddy replied, cordially.
"Oh, we're living a new postpartum, with the slight difference that instead of a baby, it was a bullet," Derek laughed, but Addison did not seem to find that comment amusing. Her whole demeanor changed.
"Regardless, the duration of the waiting period may vary depending on the health status and individual recovery of each person, usually between six weeks..."
"My heart will help me shorten the waiting time to five or maybe four weeks. We have to recover and make up for lost time. Isn't that right, Addie?"
"I don't think it works like that," Teddy laughed, shaking her head.
"With Addison, anything is possible. In fact, during Olive's postpartum..."
"Derek, can you shut up? Why are you acting like an idiot?" exclaimed Addison, angry.
"Excuse me?" he blinked in surprise at her unexpected reaction.
"Dr. Altman is talking to you about the evolution of your heart, she's here professionally doing her job and you can't stop saying stupid things!" she said, getting up from her chair, increasingly upset. "You are not seventeen years old to be thinking about sex all day long! Life does not revolve around sex!"
"Add-..."
"From the moment you wake up until you go to bed, you are insinuating it, don't men know how to think about something else? Or is it the free time that destroys your brain? Get over it now or instead of six weeks it will be six years!"
Addison grabbed her bag and stormed out of the office, leaving both Teddy and Derek bewildered by her abrupt reaction.
"I'm sorry, I... didn't realize I said something inappropriate..." Derek murmured, embarrassed.
"Don't worry about it."
"Addison is a bit irritated... you know, she's tired... she's taking care of me all the time, the girls... Arleth is starting to sleep a little more at night, but she still wakes up in the early morning and... I'm sorry, really."
"It's okay. It's understandable. Recovery is a difficult process for everyone. You've been through a very traumatic experience and... you have to deal with the aftermath. Right? The toughest part that no one tells you about."
"That's right."
~•~
"Hey, Amelia... I'm here at the hospital... we came for a check-up. Derek's fine, better than ever. So much so that we even argued in front of Teddy, well... technically I don't know if it was an argument, it was a series of inappropriate comments, but... hmm... I passed by your office. It was closed... they asked me about you and I didn't know what to say. I still don't know what to say when they ask about you. I feel stupid talking to a cell phone without getting a response. I don't even have hope that you'll reply, but... I don't know. I feel like I must keep you informed. You are part of the family and have the right to know everything... I don't know if you actually care to know, anyway. But I need to talk to someone, I need to let out everything I've been keeping inside... maybe this is my way of venting, believing that you're listening from the other side... because I wish you could listen to me now. I feel alone. Yes, Derek and the girls are at home, we are all at home now, but I can't talk to anyone about it... only you knew, and... maybe you were right... maybe I should've told Derek about the baby... Maybe it would've saved me from hearing his unfortunate comments about a bullet instead of a baby, but... forget it. It's just that... Maybe things would have been different if I...
"Hey! Addison!" Callie's voice made her quickly turn around and stop recording the audio.
"Oh, hi Callie. How are you?"
"I feel like God put you in my path today."
"Excuse me?"
"A 34-weeks-pregnant woman just came into the emergency room. Multiple bone fractures after a car accident."
"Oh..."
"I need you in OR 3 right about now."
"Me? But I'm off duty..."
"They're identical twins! The risk is very high, I need to operate on the mother before she continues to lose blood. She has a type III pulmonary laceration, Hunt's already in the OR dealing with the bleeding. I don't know the condition of the fetuses, but one of them shows a deformity in their right lung and..."
"Okay. Call the NICU team and tell them to prepare two incubators, we'll have two premature babies on the way. I'll meet you in the OR, I need to change, I'll be there in five minutes."
"Thank you, Addison," she said as she ran off.
Addison picked up her phone again and sent a voice message to Derek.
"Der, I'll be staying at the hospital for an emergency C-section, I'll be delayed because they are twins and... I might have to intervene with one of the babies... Arleth is at daycare, if you want, take her with you. Take a taxi and go pick up Olive from kinder... about what happened today at Teddy's office... hmm... we'll talk at home. Bye."
~•~
"Daddy?" Olive asked somewhat surprised. She was not used to her father picking her up.
"Hey, Ols! Aren't you excited to see your father? Come here and hug me.
"And Mom?" she said while hugging him.
"Mom's in surgery. That's why Arley and I came to pick you up. And you know what that means?"
"Mmm no."
"We're going to get McDonald's for lunch!"
"Really?" she began to jump excitedly.
"Yes! Let's order a taxi. Do you want to?"
"Yeyyy!"
Derek ordered a taxi to a McDonald's Drive Thru, they bought the food and went back home. This was the first lunch in a long time that Derek spent with his daughters alone. It felt strange not having Addison at home.
Olive, excited, started opening the paper bag and setting the food on the table while Derek sat down with Arleth on his lap.
"Arley, you can't eat fries!" Olive shouted, taking a fry from her sister's hand.
"BA BAAA!"
"One won't hurt anybody..." Derek laughed as he saw the baby beginning to get angry.
"Mom said she can't eat anything except milk. Nothing!"
"Yes, but she'll start eating soon. This month or the next, her pediatrician will tell us if she's ready to start eating solids. Anyway, you're right, Olive. She can't eat fries. Did you hear that, Arley? No fries for you, you're still too little for that junk."
"Hey, it's not junk! It's yummy food!"
"Junk can be delicious, honey That's why we have to eat it in moderation. Especially without telling your mother that I was eating bacon burgers, will you keep this secret, won't you?"
"Yes, although Mom doesn't like it when I lie."
"You wouldn't be lying, you'd be hiding information...it's for her own good, but mostly for mine."
"BAAA BAAA!" Arleth complained.
"She's hungry," Olive said, knowing the different types of cries her sister made.
"I'll have to go prepare her a bottle..."
Derek got up from his chair and took a yellow bottle out of the baby's bag.
"She doesn't like that one, she likes the green one."
"And where's the green one?"
"I don't know. Probably upstairs."
"WAAAH!"
"And she doesn't like this pink one?" Derek asked, taking out another bottle from the bag.
"Mmm I don't know, sometimes yes, sometimes not. She actually always prefers Mom," she said, taking a bite of her burger.
"But Mom is in surgery now...she's not pumping milk anymore?"
"I don't know."
Derek walked to the refrigerator and opened it to check inside.
"She doesn't leave reserve milk bags anymore?"
"No."
"WAAAAAAH!"
"Does your mother breastfeed her at any moment?" he asked confused as he closed the refrigerator door.
"Not anymore."
"Since when?"
"I don't know," she continued eating calmly.
"WAAAAAAAAH!"
"Shhh... Arley... Dad will make you a bottle... shh..."
~•~
After several hours of battling in the operating room, the surgery was successful. The mother survived the accident and was admitted to the ICU, while the twins were taken directly to the NICU after their birth. One of them was born with a problem in his lungs, one of his lobes had a separate blood supply and a unique structure. Addison quickly took care of it, performing an extralobar lobectomy to remove the entire lobe.
"Hey, Addie!" said Richard as they crossed paths outside the operating room.
"Oh, Richard. Hi," she approached to hug him.
"Coming out of the OR? Have you finally returned to your true home?"
"I haven't returned... it was just an emergency and I happened to be here..."
"When will you return?"
"I... don't know, actually. I have to take care of Derek, he's home alone with the girls and..."
"Hey, Derek can handle that. Don't worry."
"I know, it's not that I don't trust him, but... he's still recovering, and the girls can be very intense when they want..."
"It's okay. I don't want to pressure you, I just want you to know that you are always welcome here. This is your second home. Anything you need, let me know."
"Thank you, Richard."
"If you see Amelia Shepherd, can you tell her to come to my office? I've received complaints from her patients saying she hasn't been showing up on time and has canceled surgeries. I need to talk to her seriously, her behavior is unacceptable."
"Hmm... Amelia... I... I'll tell her as soon as I see her," she said nervously.
"Is everything alright with her?"
"I hope so..."
"You hope?"
"I... hmm... Richard, I have to go now. I promise I'll consider my return to the hospital."
"Okay. Give Derek my regards."
"I will. Thank you."
~•~
Addison returned home after six in the evening. After the surgeries, she wanted to stay a little longer at the hospital to make sure both the twins and the mother were in good condition, and only then did she return.
While driving on the road towards the woods, she thought about how good it had been for her to spend the day at the hospital. She had saved the lives of three people, had done what she loved, and was so talented at: operating. Taking the scalpel and creating art like a painter with a brush. She had shared time with her colleagues, she missed being with them. Since Arleth was born, she had been very isolated. The only people she interacted with were her daughters and her husband. And it's not like she could have deep conversations with the girls...
She missed the talks in the cafeteria with her colleagues, the gossip in the hallways, the hot chocolate from the machine, the affection of her patients, all the vitality that was in that place...
She was increasingly thinking about hiring a nanny to stay with the girls in the afternoon, while she and Derek were at the hospital. In fact, Olive had had a nanny for several years, but since she became pregnant with Arleth, she had spent much more time at home with her.
As soon as she opened the front door of her house, she saw that only the kitchen light was on. It was completely silent. They were probably all upstairs, at this time Olive usually took a bath before dinner.
Addison left her bag on the table and took out her cell phone hoping to have a message from Amelia, but as expected, there was nothing. There was never anything. She sighed and started with the update of the moment.
"Hello, Amelia... it's Addison, again..." she said as she walked towards the couch, taking off her heels, "I just got back from the hospital. Today I went into the operating room after six months... it wasn't planned to happen today, but... it did. And it was... it was great. Let me clarify, don't get me wrong, of course, it wasn't great for the mother and the babies, but... to feel that adrenaline again. That power in the operating room. That satisfaction that comes from saving lives, I... I felt alive again after being dead for several weeks... Richard asked about you... well, he didn't ask about you, he wants to see you in his office... Oh, Amelia. Where are you? Why have you distanced yourself? If only you gave me a sign of something... I... I don't know how long I can continue with this. Guilt and uncertainty are eating me up inside. Secrets are eating me up inside. I don't know how long I can keep covering for you, because I don't even know if I'm covering for you or...
"Who are you covering for?" Derek asked, approaching from behind. He had left Olive in her room watching a movie and the baby sleeping in the crib.
Addison quickly dropped the phone from the scare and stared at him in disbelief.
"Who were you talking to?" he asked again, in a firm tone.
"Oh... I..."
"Was it Amelia? Were you talking to Amelia?
"Yes... well, no. It was for Amelia, but... not really..."
"I don't understand, be clear. Were you talking to her or not?"
"I was just sending a voice message to her, Derek... I wasn't on a call."
"What are you covering for her? Where has she gone?"
"I don't know..." she murmured.
"Don't cover for her anymore! Where is she? Why did she decide to disappear without a trace right now in this delicate moment? Where the hell did she go?" he shouted.
"Derek, calm down. You can't shout like this, your blood pressure..."
"I want you to tell me where the hell my sister is, Addison. Stop saying the same stupid things, I'm tired of you lying to me."
"I'm not lying to you..."
"Of course you are. You tell me she's with her boyfriend, that she needs time to clear her head. Time for what?! She wasn't even hurt in the shooting! Why would she need time?"
"Derek, she saw you getting shot and..."
"And you saw it too! And April Kepner saw it too! Yet she goes to work, unlike Amelia. Where is she? I need to talk to her and tell her everything I've been keeping to myself for three damn weeks."
"Can you stop shouting, damn it? I don't want Olive to hear!" she said through gritted teeth.
"Where is my sister?"
"I don't know!"
"Of course, you know! This has crossed all boundaries. Tell me where she is, Addison."
"I'm telling you I don't know, damn it!" she exclaimed, with tears in her eyes.
"Why are you covering for her? Is she extorting you with something? Tell me what you know!" he demanded.
"Mark told me she was with Ryan the night of the shooting! That's the only thing I know, Derek. I haven't seen her since that day!"
"Is she with that damn junkie?"
"That's what I think. That's what she told Mark. I don't know if she was telling the truth or lying!"
"So she might not be with him..."
"She might not be with him."
"So she's missing."
"I think so..."
"My sister has been missing for three weeks and you weren't able to tell me? How can you sleep knowing she's missing?"
"What did you want me to do, Derek? You're in the process of recovery! I can't bring you this worry now! Look at how you're reacting!"
"Is Amelia abusing drugs again, isn't she?"
"Uh..."
"What is it? And don't tell me it's marijuana. Marijuana doesn't cause this!"
"She mentioned something about oxycodone..."
"Since when?"
"I don't know..."
"Why are you still covering for her, Addison? To hell with your loyalty to Amelia! How long has she been doing drugs?"
"A few months, I suppose. I don't know, Derek. I have other issues to deal with! I can barely handle my own life and my daughters! I can't exactly know what the hell your sister is putting into her body!
"We need to call the police right away."
"Derek, wait..."
"And you still want me to wait? How much longer are you going to wait to react? She could be dead! Do you understand that? Amelia could be dead!" he exclaimed with tears of desperation in his eyes.
"Don't say that, please..." she continued sobbing, nervous.
"My sister could be dead! She could have died of an overdose three weeks ago! Remember that I was the one who revived her last time? I had to revive my own sister!"
Derek, with trembling hands, picked up his cell phone ready to call 911. But before he finished dialing the numbers, the front door suddenly opened, causing both of them to turn around in surprise.
"Oh... mmm… hello..." said Amelia, forcing an uncomfortable smile, "Am I a little late for dinner?"
Both Addison and Derek stared at Amelia intently, unable to believe how casually she appeared. They were both speechless.
"What's wrong with you? I may not have gotten much sun these days, but I'm not a ghost..."
"That is all you're going to say after disappearing? A shitty joke? Really?" said Derek, annoyed.
"Calm down, Derek. It's not that serious," she said as she hung up her keys on the keychain.
"It's not that serious?! We were here desperate to hear from you! I was about to call the police, or worse, go to the morgue."
"Don't exaggerate, I wasn't gone that long."
"Three weeks doesn't seem short to you?"
"Three weeks? No way," she furrowed her brow, confused.
"Twenty days. It's almost three weeks."
"Oh... I didn't realize how the days passed, I'm sorry."
"Where were you, Amelia?" asked Addison, in a much calmer tone than her husband.
"I was with Ryan..."
"Why weren't you answering any of my calls? Why weren't you at least sending me a text message to let us know you were there?"
"I don't know, Addison..."
"You know we never met this 'Ryan' guy, what assurance do I have that he exists and isn't just an excuse for you to go off and do drugs?" said Derek.
"Ryan exists."
"Where does that bastard live?" he asked, getting angrier by the minute.
"It's none of your business."
"Of course, it's my business! I want to know where the hell you've been all this time!"
"I was with him, at his apartment."
"Were you in jail?" he asked, not believing a word she said.
"No!"
"Who bailed you out from the police station?"
"I wasn't in jail!"
"Then where were you?!"
"I told you, I was with Ryan all this time!"
"Give me his address."
"No! Are you crazy?"
"Give me his address!" he repeated, shouting.
"Derek, lower your voice, Olive is upstairs!" interrupted Addison.
"I want the damn address of your damn boyfriend, Amelia!" he demanded, ignoring what his wife said.
"What are you going to do? Go to his house to ask if I was really there? Are you going to beat him up or something? I told you I was with him!" she screamed with a torn voice.
"Why were you there for so long without telling anyone? Were you doing drugs?"
"No."
"You're lying."
"I wasn't doing drugs! Leave me alone, Derek. Damn it. You're not my father! Remember that? You're not!"
"I have an obligation to protect you."
"No, you don't! I'm thirty-four years old! I can take care of myself, I don't need you. Take care of your own daughters."
"Thirty-four years old and you're still an irresponsible drug addict who loses track of time and space. You disappear for weeks on end, you abandon your patients, your work, your own family. Didn't you care that I was on the brink of death? It seems that didn't stop you from snorting shit like there's no tomorrow."
"Derek, stop..." muttered Addison.
"You're selfish. A despicable and irresponsible being. Years go by and you don't learn, you keep getting into the same problems you got into when you were sixteen. You keep putting me in this shitty situation, you put my wife and daughters in danger, and you don't care. Nothing matters to you! Only you."
"It's not like that..." whispered Amelia with tears in her eyes.
"Of course it is. If you ever cared about us, you wouldn't have done all this. But you can't think about anyone other than yourself. You just cause problems, you're once again that turbid wind hurricane that passes and destroys everything around it."
"I wish you were dead!" She exclaimed, turning around and rushing up the stairs. When she reached her room, she slammed the door shut and locked herself in.
Derek angrily threw the phone he had in his hand and smashed it against the ground, shattering the screen into a thousand pieces.
Addison gave him a disapproving look, grabbed her shoes, and went upstairs without saying a word.