Chapter 23: Gia's wisdom
The dreams, a mix of fond and distressing memories, stirred John's mind, resurrecting a past he had long believed to be buried and forgotten. His father and brother, the subjects of these dreams, were both sources of comfort and turmoil. Yet, his mother, who had passed when he was fourteen, remained a figure untouched by his dreams.
His father and brother's disappointment in him, a constant echo in his dreams, had driven him to leave home and enlist in the Air Force. Even though he'd always wanted to fly, his family's disappointment forced him to leave his childhood home. His service, marked by its traumas, took a turn for the worse when he faced a court-martial for a heroic act in Afghanistan. It was this act of attempting to save lives that led to his father's complete disownment.
He had no idea how long his fevered dreams lasted, but one constant throughout them was the soft, gentle voice that spoke and sang to him. He was convinced it was the voice of an angel, but the mystery remained: if it was an angel, why was he so hot?
An undetermined amount of time passed, and suddenly, he felt a little better—the nausea eating away at his stomach was still present, though. Slowly, he opened his eyes to the incredible sight—his beautiful wife was holding his hand beside his bed.
"Teyla," he whispered, his throat dry and raspy. The acrid smell of disinfectant filled his nostrils, and the harsh light of the infirmary stung his eyes. Not only was his throat dry and the lights too bright, but he felt dirty and sweaty and was ready for a shower.
"Yes, John, I am here. Would you like a drink of water?" She was the angel's voice he had heard in his fevered dreams.
He nodded, and a bendy straw appeared before him. He drank the water greedily, feeling the care in Teyla's actions, until she gently took it away, her touch comforting.
"You must not drink too much because you do not want to be sick again," Teyla informed him as she took the glass away.
Suddenly, he felt embarrassed; how often had he been sick since he'd been back on Atlantis, and how frequently had Teyla seen it? How often had his children seen it more to the point? He remembered when Teyla had comforted him during his worst moments, and he felt a surge of gratitude and guilt.
As if reading his mind, Teyla reassured him, "Do not worry, John. Our children did not see you being sick. Anyway, I must get Carson because he wanted to know when you awoke." Her words soothed his embarrassment, offering comfort and understanding.
He watched as she left the room before trying to assess his condition. He first noticed that his leg was heavily bandaged and placed on a large cushion. The second thing he saw was that he had a gown on, and if John were to check under the covers, he was sure the dreaded catheter would be there. There was an IV in his left arm and a nasal cannula under his nose—that explained why his nose was so itchy.
Teyla returned a few minutes later with Carson in tow, and he looked different somehow. It was like he was happy and sad all at once—if that were possible.
"How am I doing, doctor? " he asked, unable to take his eyes off his bandaged right leg.
"Your right tibia was shattered, and we have had to repair it with rods and screws," Carson replied with compassion. "It became infected on New Hilaraing and you have had a raging fever since you arrived on Atlantis three days ago. The fever finally broke this morning."
He vaguely remembered the incident that led to his current predicament, but he did remember meeting Dave, the hologram, and the bone-healing device he used to mend his broken arm.
"What about the holographic doctor or the bone healing device he used to heal my broken arm?"
Carson looked at his feet, and John knew he wouldn't like what Carson had to say.
"Spit it out, Doc?" John said, his impatience evident in his tone.
"Well, Dave was destroyed on the original Hilaring planet, and the device he used to heal your arm was on the supply ship when it was destroyed. We don't have access to them anymore," Carson said apologetically, emphasising the loss.
"Have you used the healing serum Isaac and Jacob gave you on Ilaria?"
Carson nodded, "Jennifer and Jasmine were able to heal the wound and most of the tissue damage in your leg, but the bone will still have to heal, and it will take time."
"How long?" John asked apprehensively
"You'll be off your feet for six to eight weeks," Carson said with sympathy, a feeling that John despised more than anything. He couldn't stand being pitied, especially now when he was most vulnerable.
"Thank you, Dr. Beckett," John answered formally. His desire for solitude was strong, and he needed to be alone with his thoughts and feelings.
"Let me know when you're hungry because you've lost a fair bit of weight over the last few days, and you'll need to start eating soon," Carson said before leaving the room.
If Carson had stayed in his room longer, John would have told the doctor what he always did when he lost weight from being sick: He'd eat when he was good and ready to eat.
A gentle voice spoke, defusing his anger a little, "I will be here to help you recover, John."
He looked at his wife, and for the first time, he noticed how tired she looked, probably from having a newborn baby and trying to look after a sick husband.
"Who's looking after our Children?" John asked, his worry for his family evident.
"They are with Amelia and Ronon at the moment. Luckily, Halling has taken to the bottle, allowing others to look after him for extended periods."
"That's good, Teyla because right now you need a rest," John told her, his voice etched with worry.
Her expression changed when she spoke again: "I will go in a minute, John. But I must tell you General O'Neill is on Atlantis and still waiting for us to explain what happened in KK203."
"I'm not in the mood for that right now," John replied, his tone indifferent towards the mention of General O'Neill.
"I will leave you alone to rest," Teyla replied, weariness evident in her voice and manner.
'I will bring the children by later to see you."
He watched as she left the room and was relieved to be alone. His fevered dreams had left him with a lot to ponder. Was it finally time to return to Earth, reconcile with his brother, and put the past to rest? The thought lingered in his mind until the moment he fell asleep.
oOo
When Carson left John's room, so many thoughts ran through Carson's mind, the main one being how worried he was about the man. The last few years had certainly taken their toll on John Sheppard and his family, and Carson was increasingly sure he would send the man back to earth for rehabilitation. If John went to see his brother, that would be his business, but Carson was sure he'd send him back to earth. But Shepherd had been declared mentally and physically sound after returning from their mission a year ago, so recent events wouldn't have affected him that much. The problem this time was that there was no miracle cure, and Sheppard was in for a long recovery. And the man would surely end up frustrated and angry by the end of it, especially if he couldn't go off-world.
Carson had another patient to attend to, so he pushed aside his thoughts of General Sheppard and his predicament. He would later deal with the cantankerous, stubborn General when his professional duties didn't demand his full attention.
Gia's condition had worsened since her arrival on Atlantis, and the results of Carson's recent tests confirmed his worst fears. Like her daughter Lilla, Gia had a weak heart and was battling an aggressive form of cancer. Tragically, Gia's life was hanging by a thread, with only a few days left. The most startling revelation was that she was barely fifty years old in Earth years.
As Carson entered Gia's room, he was shocked to find Teyla beside the older woman's bed.
"I thought you were going home to bed, Teyla."
As she looked at the woman lying in bed, Teyla's eyes were filled with immense sadness. "I will in a moment, but I wanted to sit with Gia for a while. How is she, Carson?" Her worry for Gia evident, a testament to her compassionate nature.
Carson's gaze fell on the woman in the bed, her gaunt and pale appearance starkly contrasting with those of the woman he had known on the original Hilaring planet.
"It doesn't look good, luv," Carson said, his concern for Gia's condition evident. The fear of impending loss was a heavy weight on his shoulders.
"Thank you for telling me the truth, Carson, but I will sit with Gia for a while before I go to bed."
"I'll be in my office if I need anything," Carson told her before walking away.
He knew a visit to the original Hilaring planet was inevitable within the next week, but the thought filled him with dread. It would mean Gia had passed, and he would be the one to break the news to Rulan and his son.
oOo
Teyla's heart ached as she watched Carson leave, her attention returning to Gia's bed. The sight of Gia, with her eyes open and a faint smile, surprised her. Despite her failing health, Gia's ability to smile was a testament to her resilience, which Teyla couldn't help but admire.
"How is your husband?" Gia asked in a weak, shaky voice
"He will recover in time. Although I am sure he will be frustrated and angry with the world by the time he's back on his feet," Teyla answered with a chuckle.
"I would like to meet him and tell him what a remarkable man he is," Gia suggested, her voice filled with admiration.
"I will tell Dr Beckett that you wish to speak with my husband, and then perhaps you can show me who this remarkable man you speak of is," Teyla said with humour.
Gia chuckled before she started to cough, then her face contorted with pain. Suddenly, she was struggling to breathe, so Teyla immediately hit the call button, hoping the doctors would be quick in responding.
Thankfully, Carson was in the room within seconds, adjusting the oxygen flow on the nasal cannula under her nose. Gia very quickly recovered her breath, a moment that filled Teyla with overwhelming relief. She had been on the brink of panic, but now she could breathe again, her worry quickly dissipating.
All Teyla could do was watch as Carson took Gia's vitals. Gia, despite her worsening condition, managed a brave smile. " Please do not worry, Dr. Beckett," she told Carson, her voice betraying a hint of fear beneath her determination. Torn between her concern for Gia and her own exhaustion, Teyla felt a surge of empathy for the woman.
"I think it's time for Teyla to leave and get some rest," Carson suggested forcefully, "you also need to rest Gia."
"There will be plenty of time to rest when I am with my ancestors. Now, I would like to speak with General Sheppard," Gia stated with a forcefulness that was both inspiring and unsettling.
"And I slept well last night. Whether you believe me or not, I curled up on the bed in John's infirmary room and had a good night's sleep," Teyla told Carson with determination in her eyes. Even though she'd slept the night before, she still felt exhausted.
Carson looked as if he would complain, but Teyla kept staring at him, and eventually, he gave in. "Okay, Gia, you can visit General Sheppard, provided you sleep an hour and go in a wheelchair. Teyla, I want you to see your children before returning in an hour."
Teyla considered arguing, but Gia looked exhausted, and it was about time she saw her children again. She knew Gia's time was running out and wanted to make the most of her time with her new friend. She also understood Carson's concern for her well-being, but she couldn't bear the thought of leaving Gia alone in what could be her final moments.
"I will see you later, Gia," Teyla said, kissing the woman on the cheek before leaving the infirmary.
Teyla knew Gia had very little time left, so she wanted to spend as much time with her as possible. She hadn't known the woman long, but already, she had grown fond of her. In fact, Gia reminded her of Charin, the woman who had raised her after her father's death. In the same way, she was devastated when Charin passed, Teyla knew she would feel the same way when Gia's time was up. The thought of losing another mother figure was almost unbearable.
oOo
John was bored after a short nap, so he stared at the ceiling in his infirmary room. He knew he had a long road to recovery, but there was still something in him that was waiting for a miracle, something to cut the recovery time in half, at least. There was no way John would be off his feet for six to eight weeks - even though that's what Carson had told him - and if he had to be, he may as well not be on Atlantis. But even with a broken leg, he could still command Atlantis, so he might as well stay on Atlantis and do mundane paperwork until he could go off-world again.
John's mind was a whirlwind of frustration, wondering when Carson and Jennifer would release him from the confines of the infirmary. He longed to wander the corridors of Atlantis, even if it meant hobbling on crutches. He even considered using his best puppy dog eyes to persuade Carson to let him take a jumper to the mainland. The warming weather made it an enticing destination for a brief escape.
John was overjoyed to be rid of the tubes and wires that had confined him upon waking. Though a bit embarrassing, the sponge bath was a small price to pay for his newfound freedom. Dressed in scrubs, he felt ready for a jailbreak. The pain in his leg was manageable, and he was confident in his ability to walk on his broken leg.
Regrettably, Carson chose that moment to enter the room, thwarting John's plans before they could even take shape.
"Going somewhere, General?" Carson asked, and John could sense his annoyance.
"Umm…I need to use the bathroom."
Carson couldn't help but smirk as he replied, "That's what the bottle's for." His amusement at John's discomfort was evident.
John looked at the bottle on the bedside table with disgust. There was no way he was ever going to use it.
Sighing, he put on his best puppy dog look and asked, "When can I get out of here, Doc? Because I'm already going crazy, and if you make me stay here any longer, I'll drive you crazy, too."
Carson was firm in his reply, "I will take the stitches out of your leg tomorrow, and if the swelling's gone down, I will put a cast on it. Then, if I'm satisfied you can get around on crutches, I will release you to your apartment."
"That won't be a problem. I've mastered the use of crutches before," John declared confidently.
"We'll see," Carson said, his doubt evident. "I have someone here who wants to see you if you're up to it unless you need to use the bottle."
He glared at the Doctor, his annoyance clear, "Just send them in."
John looked at the door with anticipation. Who was coming to visit him? If it were Teyla and the kids, they would have walked straight in, so it had to be someone he didn't know.
He was surprised to see Teyla pushing an older woman in a wheelchair into the room, and given her deformities, it was easy to assume she was from one of the tribes on old Hilaring.
With her frail frame and lifeless blue eyes, the woman looked like she carried an untold story. Although a stranger to him, John recognised her as one of the women who had offered to wash his feet on Hilaring.
"John, this is Gia, and she wishes to speak with you privately," Teyla stated, her eyes betraying a deep concern. "I will be in the other room with Dr Beckett if you need anything."
Once Teyla and Carson had left, he turned to the woman beside his bed and asked, " How can I help you?"
"I just wanted to tell you what a truly remarkable man you are, John Sheppard," She said, her words laced with reverence as she took his hand, a gesture that made him squirm.
Embarrassment washed over him. John was weary of being put on a pedestal, and this time, he couldn't fathom what he'd done to deserve this woman's adoration.
"Why do you say that? As far as I'm concerned, I have done nothing to earn your respect. In fact, I don't even know you," John stated firmly, his voice tinged with confusion and a hint of frustration directed at the woman who had suddenly appeared in his life.
"I think you tend to underestimate your value to others," Gia replied seriously.
John was beginning to feel annoyed. " How can you say those things? You have no idea who I am or the things I've done."
"I was the keeper of the ancient writings for my people, and they speak of a man who set into motion a series of events that saved countless lives. I know I'm not Hilarian, and my ancestors came from Core, but the events have been passed down from generation to generation through the Hilarian line."
"I did nothing for that to happen; all I ended up with from those events was a brain injury." John defended.
"The ancient writings speak of a man who would do anything to protect his people - the people of Atlantis and others. That man is you, General Sheppard and I'm sure if I spoke to anyone in this city, they would tell me the same thing." Gia replied compassionately.
John was seriously uncomfortable, so he accepted her compliments and hoped the conversation would change, "thanks. I think."
"Whatever you do, General Sheppard, don't stop being yourself. Now that's all I have to say on the matter. However, there is one thing I need to ask before I go."
He nodded his head, giving the woman permission to ask her question.
"When my time is over, I ask that you, along with Teyla and Carson, return my remains to Hilaring so that I can be laid to rest next to my Lila."
Again, he couldn't fathom what she was asking him because he didn't know this woman, but he suspected she meant a great deal to Teyal and Carson, and he would honour her request.
"I will," he whispered. The weight of Gia's words finally sank in. Her message was heavy, and it weighed on John's mind. This woman was going to die, and there was nothing Carson or he could do about it.
Carson walked into the room, and John was relieved. The conversation had been uncomfortable and stressful, and it had exhausted him. The tension of the conversation finally released, and John felt a wave of relief wash over him.
"I am ready to return to my bed, Dr Beckett," Gia stated with a weak smile.
Gia looked at him and squeezed his hand before letting go, "Look after that lovely family of yours, General. Family is important. Don't ever forget it." Her words resonated with John, reminding him of the warmth and comfort of familial bonds.
Carson wheeled Gia out of his room, leaving John alone with his thoughts. She had certainly given him a lot to think about. He'd spent most of his life protecting people he didn't know and knew it was time to put the past to rest. It was time to contact his brother again. Dave deserved to know his Niece and nephews, and he would like to know if Dave had married or if he had any nieces or nephews. At that moment, he made a firm decision to return to Earth while recuperating, hoping Teyla and the children would want to go with him.
John's thoughts were a storm as he tried to sleep. So much had happened over the last three or four years, and he had no idea what he would tell his brother about his life. Perhaps he could think about that at another time because now he wanted to go to sleep again.
He'd finally settled his mind and was on the verge of sleep when someone entered the room, and he immediately knew who it was.
"How can I help you, General O'Neill?" He asked without even opening his eyes.
"I have heard a lot about what happened in KK203, but until now, you have been too unwell to tell me anything."
John was incredulous, so he opened his eyes and stared at the General, "And you want to do this now, sir?"
A look of shock crossed O'Neill's face, and John feared he'd crossed the line.
"I am sorry, sir," he apologised, "what would you like to know?"
"I think I've heard enough from the others. Just make sure your report is thorough. I'm heading back to Earth in an hour, so is there anything you want to say before I go?"
John nodded and took a deep breath. "I would like to request a leave of absence. I would like to visit my brother on Earth."
"You'll be off your feet for a while, so take as long as you need. I assume you'll want to take Teyla and the children with you?"
"Yes, Jack," John replied thankfully.
"Okay, send the paperwork when you're ready, and I'll see you when you return to Earth."
He watched as O'Neill left and closed his eyes again. Now that he had asked for a leave of absence to visit his estranged brother, he felt a profound relief, a weight lifted from his soul. John hoped he could make things right with Dave when he visited Earth. With all these thoughts rolling around in his head, it wasn't long before he fell into a deep sleep.
He awoke sometime later by someone sobbing beside his bed, and for a moment, his sleep-addled brain couldn't work out who it was.
Slowly opening his eyes, he realised the lights were dim in the infirmary, but he could still make out the sobbing form of his wife.
"What's wrong, Sweetie?" He asked with concern, his voice filled with love and worry for his wife.
"Gia passed an hour ago. Shortly after she visited you," Teyla sobbed, her voice breaking with the weight of her loss.
He had no idea what to say to her because he didn't know Gia's importance to her. Opening his mouth, he struggled to find the right words, "I am sorry, Sweetie. I know she was important to you."
"I did not know her well, but she reminded me of Charin, and I almost imagined Charin was here with me again," she shared.
John knew Charin, his daughter's namesake, was the woman who raised Teyla after her father died, so in a sense, she was grieving for Charin all over again.
"Do not worry, Honey, I will be okay," Teyla said, wiping her tears, her voice steady despite the pain," but I fear it will be a significant loss for the Rulan and her people."
John nodded, "I wish I'd had a chance to know her better."
"I will tell you what little I knew of her," Teyla offered, "and tomorrow, we can return her to her people."
Teyla took John's hand and started telling him everything she knew about Gia, and Teyla's words soothed John.
He knew tomorrow would be another challenging day as they had to return to KK203 and Hilaring to return Gia home to her people.
TBC…