-๑-๑ ஜ ๑-Chapter 38: Pain from no source -๑ ஜ ๑-๑-
It was fairly quiet- Shizu-chan's neighbors had already left it seemed as the only noise faintly audible was the same clock's ticking he had heard at night.
Izaya was in the living room right now, but considering the lack of any other noise its ticks traveled all the way here.
Letting his eyes glide over the furniture that looked like a jumbled mess of whatever, he figured the blond had never taken any interest in actually decorating or even arranging his flat.
The bedroom too. Sure there had been a bed and a cupboard of course- but upon opening Izaya found nothing but the same suits Shizuo wore everyday. Neatly arranged even, that came as a surprise but apart from that nothing was. Considering how the blond hadn't even gotten himself a proper ashtray and instead used a simple glass half filled with water it was obvious he couldn't care less about what the place he was living in looked like as long as it worked.
Lazily slouching down onto the couch in the living room Izaya spotted a hole in the wall across.
Shizu-chan hadn't bothered to fix that either.
It was funny, but the apartment kind of reflected the brute's personality.
Also it was surprisingly fun to dig through his belongings. Why had he never done so, so far? After all it wasn't like he never had the chance to. Given his power and various humans at dispense that owed him a favor or two it would be easy to get his hands on a second key or just so happen to find Shizu-chan´s. Having the door burst open, or the window broken was also an easy option. But somehow it had never been a priority.
Might have been a lack of interest or presumption that nothing would provide useful against the blond.
Regarding personal stuff Shizu-chan seemed to be fairly limited.
Eyes trailing to a cupboard that served as a stand for the tv he looked at a couple pictures he had spotted prior.
One was showing Kasuka when he was a kid together with Shizuo. Another from one of his more recent movies was placed next. There was one more, with Shinra and Celty even- it looked kinda crappy, probably a quick shot with someone's phone. Considering the angle and how it was slightly blurred Izaya suspected Shizu-chan had been the one to take it.
Izaya couldn't help but snort softly.
Usually people would try again after such a bad attempt.
…
Well usual was probably the only description Shizu-chan did not fulfill. No matter what he did, be it his job, his anger episodes, his truce with the raven or their casual but pretty frequent meetings- nothing of that was usual.
Having an enemy was one thing, but discarding all hatred for the sake of the greater good to save his life?
Not so much.
Letting his fingertips brush across a slight layer of dust collected on top of the frames, Izaya decided dully that they should be brushed off.
One after the other was taken and quickly dragged across the raven´s shirt. He needed to wash that anyway considering what happened the day before.
…
Yeah.
The day before.
Feeling an unusual bashfulness get to his face the raven couldn't help but frown. Just what on earth had he been thinking? Having their meetings scheduled and settled was one thing. But- doing it in an alley?
Walking home only to straight up run to the blond´s place anyway to continue where they left off?
What kind of idea was he giving the blond?
From now on?
Was Shizu-chan going to just take him whenever he pleased? In the middle of the street? At Simon's sushi? Wherever?
The thought was as disturbing as the boner that suddenly greeted him happier than it should.
This was no way to keep their meetings going- in the first place did neither of them even second guess what they were doing? So far Izaya had been having a really hard time coming up with excuses and what not, so he wouldn't give the blond any strange ideas. But it seemed that wasn't necessary at all.
His lie before? About meeting clients? Even the blond had seen through that, that's how bad a cover up it was.
Sighing softly the raven let himself slump onto the blond´s couch.
Head tilted back he stared at the ceiling.
White.
Nothing notable there.
…
… should he actually talk to the blond about this? Just the idea of it caused a certain amount of aversion to spike in the man. No. To be honest, just bringing up the matter again was going to do more harm than just ignoring it.
But then what about the future?
He could be walking in the road, causally. Shizuo couldn't appear out of nowhere, bend him over and just like that fuck him to his own will.
Feeling the boner in his pants growing tighter, Izaya pushed himself off the couch.
No.
Just no.
… was he becoming some sort of sex addict or why was he thinking about getting fucked and consequently getting hard ons first thing in the morning?
Then again- it seemed Shizu-chan had a similar problem considering how ready he had been yesterday to take Izaya up on his wishes.
…
It had been… special.
His hips reminded him all too gladly just how many times the blond had fucked him to oblivion- the lack of control, knowing he just couldn't resist had something so alluring to it the raven hadn't seen a flaw in it.
An exception.
Yes.
Nodding to himself the raven spun around his own axis. Yes. That's what it was going to be. No more random and over the top appointments. They needed structure. A plan.
Control.
Flipping his phone out of his pocket the raven hummed as he stared at the screen. There was a calendar app springing right to his face and counting the days he found himself wondering once more-
When would their next appointment be though?
In a week?
Two?
"Gotta set a good schedule, right?" he laughed aloud, as if anyone would be there to hear, when he was alone. Spinning around one more time with the goal to land on the couch once more- the action kinda failed this time around as there was a piece of clothing on the floor, partly hidden beneath the living room table.
Awkwardly stumbling and falling flat onto his face the raven groaned, causing all his little schemes forming in his mind to come to an instant halt as his hips greeted him with quite the amount of pain.
Sending, what was probably a pair of pants, a glare the raven sighed and let his head thud against the ground.
His hips hurt.
Obviously. He wasn't surprised about that.
Falling gracefully like this only intensified the pain.
… the day before he fell too. His legs had given out, he could still remember that.
…
Shizu-chan would have caught him.
Right now that is.
Just like last night when his legs gave out.
If he were there.
… but he wasn't.
All of a sudden there was a lump in his throat. Thick. Cold.
Sudden sadness stemming from nowhere crawled into Izaya's mind.
The thought caused his throat to choke but not in a good way.
It felt hard to breathe.
"The hell?" Angry, he got back up from the ground. So what if the blond wasn't there to catch him? To hell if he needed something like that. What was he? A damsel in need?
Flicking his phone out once more he quickly dialed the local taxi service.
He barely slept at all. It had to be the sleep deprivation that caused him to get all irritated and weird.
5 Minutes till the driver would be here.
Inhaling deeply he tried to get rid of the lump in his throat. Alright, gather his stuff, get dressed and get home, that was going to be the new plan.
Fuck rummaging through the blond´s apartment, from what he had already seen so far there wouldn't be anything of use anyway.
No more plans, no more scheming, just a long bath at home and a good night's rest.
Turning his head left and right his eyes searched for his belongings. Seeing how the blond had undressed him in a rushed fashion he had quite a long time searching.
His shirt in the kitchen, his coat in the living room- the pants in the door leading to the bedroom.
Glancing towards the bed and the bedsheets, Izaya wondered for a second whether he should even bother to find his underwear. He knew he had heard something ripping yesterday, so he wouldn't be surprised if he found his pants torn and wasted.
Against better judgment the raven stepped into the room. The makeshift ashtray had grown, a small pile of cigarettes now gathering like a flower on a cactus.
Seeing how it had been not even half full the day before, Shizu-chan must have smoked while Izaya had been out of it.
… maybe while he passed out?
…
Had he been that worried?
Letting himself slump down stomach first into the bed once more the raven crossed his arms letting his chin rest on them. It was kinda funny, with all those death threats 24/7 he thought the blond would be a little less concerned about his well being.
Succubus disappearance and the like aside for now.
Sometimes it felt almost like the blond cared.
…
But he didn't.
Of course not. This was but an arrangement. A deal. Nothing more and nothing less.
So why?
Why did the thought of that make Izaya feel like crap?
Swallowing hard he got off the bed.
What was this? Why did he have to feel this way?
This was just a deal they had made instead of Hachiro.
It was just ensuring his survival.
Simply that, nothing more.
Shizu-chan was doing this so he wouldn't die, that was and should be the only reason.
So why did it feel so hard to breathe? Why the hell did repeating that sentence in his head hurt more than his hips?
A short honk outside the apartment snapped the flea out of his thoughts.
Right. The taxi.
All thoughts on the missing underwear were cast aside as the raven quickly dressed up and made his way to the door and out of the apartment.
Fresh air hit his face, woke him up to a certain degree- and yet the crappy feeling stuck to him like dirty gum from the street. Weary his legs led him down as he slipped inside the backseat of the car and his head connected with the window glass.
What was he even doing?
Everything was fine.
This is how it should be.
And so the car took off into the direction of Shinjuku.
to be continued~
Oh my oh my, sad chapter this time :3 But important to get some plot moving, those two have been tiptoeing and kinda been kinda not been anything describable for a while now xD Time to spice shit up xD
On a more serious note guys:
Apparently there are people on the internet pretending to be me xD This is not the first time, I have actually had my fair share of impostors and stalker before, soooo I just wanted to give you a quick shoutout guys. :3
I have one instagram account called "Shirohimesstories" with one of my cats as profile pic for now, whatsapp for all those who have my phone number, my gmail adress- Shirohimesstories . . gmail. com
And of course the AO3 comment section and the fanfiction message option.
If I contact any of you then it's going to be via these media platforms/accounts. Anyone else is not me. xD
Just wanted to mention that as my newest Impostor had like 400 followers on instagram with my actual real name and pictures from my school stolen from an old facebook account of mine and even managed to confuse a close friend of mine-
Just be careful guys, the internet is a nice, but also extremely weird place xD
Now with that being said see you next month on 1st of June~! :3
PS.: The new Story "Impostor" will also start with the next updates :3 I wanted to do so today, but time wasn't on my side xD Same for the next sotd update btw :3