27

Thanks to skyross19 for this idea. Although the situations were different, Erin would be one to try and relate to Sydney as a single mother. I also think they would have bonded back before she and Jamie broke things off in Season 1.

Erin took a seat on her favorite bench in the small square across the street from her office. She let her head fall back and let out a deep, stress-filled groan, which, hopefully, no one heard. This spot was hidden away from anyone coming from or going to her building - a spot she went to when she needed a brief escape while still on the clock. She placed a large latte - heavy on the caramel drizzle - beside her. The caffeine, fresh air and sunshine would help ease the tension that built up in her shoulders. Erin pulled a deposition transcript out of her bag; the work never stopped, even when she needed to take a breather, but at least she could focus out here. She was backed up on trial prep for her most pressing case and needed to get through this transcript without the constant interruptions from her office. It was a beautiful day that, up until now, was spent in close quarters with the DA going over the trial bureau's case load. It was days like this that she regretted her role as a Bureau Chief and the added pressures that came from those above her while still maintaining a full caseload.

Erin took the top off the cup and savored the first sweet sip as a familiar petite brunette in a cream pantsuit marched by her. Her eyes widened as she called out to her. "Sydney?"

Sydney came to a sudden halt. Her own eyes widening at the familiar voice before turning. "Erin," she choked out. She looked around and realized where she was. Sydney hadn't even meant to walk in this direction, certainly not towards the DA's office, of all places.

Erin stood and a tentative smile formed on her lips. With everything that was going on between her and Jamie right now, she had been tempted to have a one on one with the younger woman, but her little brother had made it clear that under no circumstances was anyone to reach out to her. He knew his family well enough to know that everyone from his grandfather right down to his wife was ready to casually 'bump' into his ex-fiance and talk some sense into her. But with the proceedings started, the last thing he needed was to have Sydney claim harassment and use that against him in court.

Erin was stunned to see Sydney around these parts, until she remembered that the Family Courthouse stood west of them, surrounded by office buildings occupied by hundreds of attorneys specializing in family law. "How are you?" she asked. It was a real question. Even if she was the cause of all of this, the younger woman appeared defeated.

That felt like a pointless question to ask. Sydney adjusted the bag on her shoulder and wrapped her arms around herself protectively. "I don't think it's a good idea for us to talk," she said, looking around the quiet corner of the park for a way out. She could run in any direction, yet her feet weren't moving to get her out of there. The afternoon had been hard enough without running into a Reagan. She just left a meeting with her attorney to go over the petition Jamie filed for joint custody. He had actually done it - he filed a petition with the court. Then again, what else did she expect after denying him visitation and refusing his attempts to speak? He wasn't going to willingly abandon his son.

As a result, she consulted with one of the best attorneys in the city who came highly recommended by the partners in her firm. Vincent Mancuso was a vicious litigator known for going to great lengths to win his client's custody and divorce cases. The winning part sounded great, but some of the tactics he proposed were unsettling - let's see how he feels about ten years of back child support! And on a cop's salary, he'll need the new wife to support them both. We'll be garnishing his wages until his retirement! And he won't want the Reagan name in the papers when I get involved. I got friends at the Post that would love just how we'll spin this story. Let's see how long before the PC is telling him to make this go away. He obviously didn't know the Reagan family. Regardless, it left her feeling dirty and even more conflicted than she already was. And what did it matter anyway? Jamie would probably take his wife and move them into his old childhood bedroom before he'd let any hefty child support debts keep him from his son. So why am I doing this again?

"Syd, please? Just give me a minute," Erin said when it looked like she was about to flee. Surprisingly enough, she stayed and Erin didn't waste a second. "I'm sorry about everything that's going on between you and Jamie. I know custody fights are hard."

Sydney turned toward Erin. She didn't want to get into their issues with her, especially in public when there was no doubt which side she was on. Regardless of the fact that she hadn't seen the woman in ten years, reconnecting at James' party reminded Sydney of how much she looked up to Erin. They got along so well when she was with Jamie. She always treated her like a sister and they bonded through careers in a male-dominated industry. After she had James, Erin was who she thought of when she needed a little reassurance that it was possible to juggle both a career in law and motherhood. She, Erin and Linda were the only adults at the weekly dinner table that weren't cops and all were strong females amongst a group of men who did not hesitate to make themselves heard. Maybe that was why she stood there - she wanted her to understand her side of things. But she was still his family. "All due respect, Erin, I don't think this is the same thing."

Erin shook her head, agreeing with her. "No, it's not. In my case, Jack fought me on the divorce because he didn't want to admit we weren't working - it was like losing a case for him. But he didn't fight me on custody of Nicky."

Sydney locked eyes with her.

"You might think that would make things easier, but I suspected it meant he wasn't going to be around as much as he should. Don't get me wrong," she said, looking down into the contents of her cup. "He loves Nicky to death, but he used his work as an excuse to get out of seeing her as often as he was supposed to, especially when he knew I'd be there to take good care of her anyway."

Erin continued, hoping she could see how much better her situation could be if she let it. "That was hard to keep from her, but I did, to protect her and her relationship with her father. It was even harder when he'd pop into her life to play super dad and then disappear again. She loved him and bragged about him. She didn't know any better and I wouldn't have wanted her to."

Sydney looked away and exhaled.

"Jamie, on the other hand, is ready, willing and able to be a present and involved father to James. He's a wonderful little boy, Sydney. You raised an amazing kid. He's crazy about you, I can tell every time he mentions you. He's also crazy about Jamie - they're like two peas in a pod. It's impossible to undo the relationship they've already built over such a short period of time without everyone getting hurt."

Sydney blinked repeatedly, hating herself for getting misty eyed. "I know that."

"Then just help me understand why, Syd."

Sydney faced Erin and swallowed the lump in her throat. "He already saw the ugly side of his job. Look at what happened to Joe." She huffed out a breath and shook her head. "How do you do this, Erin? Wonder if you're going to lose another brother? What if something worse happens to Jamie the next time? What if he doesn't come home? What do I tell James then?" she explained.

"That's a lot of what ifs, Syd. There's a million of them I could throw at you that have nothing to do with his job. Being something other than a cop isn't going to stop bad things from happening."

Sydney closed her eyes in frustration. "You don't understand."

"I understand that the job is a trigger for you. I get it, I worry about all of them too. But I can't dictate what they do or keep them under lock and key so nothing ever happens to them. And it doesn't mean they don't deserve to parent their child. Nothing's guaranteed, except that Jamie is the best father James could ever have."

Sydney felt worse now but didn't know how to change course. "I have to go," she said quietly.

"Syd, just please think about this. He loves that little boy as much as you do."

She got nothing in return. As Erin watched Sydney walk away, she prayed she hadn't made an already difficult situation worse. She sat back on the bench, no longer interested in her latte or reading any transcripts. So much for catching up on work.