A/N: I'd just like to say in advance that this chapter was incredibly painful to write...but for the sake of the plot, it had to happen.

Friday afternoon, Reid successfully lied his way through the psych evaluation and was cleared to return to work on Monday. Jessica privately doubted that he was ready, but did not share her doubts. She only hoped that things would be quiet for a while. Not only because of her doubts about her cousin's mental state, but because she was still afraid that something would happen to him again.

Monday, they were lucky and there was no case. Tuesday, the team got called out to New York. Reid checked in with Jessica every few hours, but her worries were only partially assuaged. As soon as Garcia got home, Jessica pounced on her. "How's Spencer? Is he handling everything okay?"

"I think so," Garcia replied. "I don't know, nobody has needed my expertise. I feel unloved."

Jessica bit her lip. "You don't think he's come back too soon?"

"I thought he'd be out longer, but he passed his psych eval, so I guess he's all right."

Jessica scoffed. "He's an expert on psychology. He knows exactly what the evaluators want him to say."

Garcia furrowed her brow. "Okay, that's a good point. I'll tell my knight in chocolate armor to keep an eye on the baby genius."

When Garcia informed Jessica that the team was on their way back, she immediately texted Morgan. "How did Spencer handle the case?"

"He was kind of quiet. Hotch kept him at the precinct, which I thought was a very good idea. And actually, I've been meaning to talk to him about how he's been coping, so thank you for reminding me."

Spencer was less than pleased when he got home. "You and Morgan have been texting behind my back?"

Jessica shot him a look of annoyance. "You avoid the question whenever I ask you how you're doing. I wanted someone who would be honest with me."

Spencer suddenly looked exhausted. "So, I suppose he told you?"

"Told me what?" Jessica demanded suspiciously.

"Never mind." Spencer turned to go to his room.

Jessica hurried over and blocked him. "I'm worried about you, okay? I'm not asking you to sit down and tell me everything, but every time you say you're fine when you're clearly not, it makes me think of Elle, and we both know what happened to her."

"I'm not going to shoot anyone in cold blood," Spencer signed, giving Jessica a flat look. "I promise. Now if you'll excuse me, it's late and I'm tired. Good night." He sidestepped Jessica and shut himself into his room. He waited a few minutes to make sure she wasn't about to barge in, then took out the vial of Dilaudid.

A week later, Jessica checked her phone after school and saw a message from Emily. "Have I done something to upset your cousin that I don't know about?"

Jessica grimaced as she replied. "Not that I know of. Let me guess, you suggested that he wasn't okay or that he was acting weird?"

"I offered to help him with something and he accused me of saying he couldn't handle it on his own. The day's gone downhill from there."

Jessica sighed. "I think he's trying to pretend nothing happened. But you guys are the psychology experts, not me."

When Spencer got home, he went straight into his room without so much as a greeting. Jessica followed him, just in time to catch him taking something small out of his messenger bag. He quickly put it back when he noticed her, so quickly that Jessica wondered if she'd imagined it. "I know it's useless to you, but I do appreciate knocking," Spencer signed, annoyed.

Jessica ignored him. "What the hell did you say to Emily that had her asking me if I knew why you were mad at her?"

"I'm not mad at her."

"Could have fooled her." Jessica folded her arms.

Spencer rolled his eyes. "Fine. She clearly thinks I can't do my job."

Jessica raised her eyebrows. "No, she doesn't."

"How would you know?" Spencer signed dismissively. "You weren't with us on the case."

"Because she told me?"

"Well of course she's not going to tell you she thinks I'm losing it."

"Actually, that's pretty much what she did tell me!" Belatedly, Jessica realized how Spencer might react to this. "And don't go off on her for that! Can't you get it into your head that when we ask if you're okay, it's because we care?!"

"Can't you get it into your heads that I'm fine?" Spencer retorted. "Just leave me alone! Don't you have homework?"

"Fine." Jessica narrowed her eyes before leaving the room and closing the door.

At dinner, Spencer seemed to be in a very different mood. "This is delicious," he signed, an almost vague smile on his face.

"…thank you," Jessica replied, deciding not to question the change.

"Mom used to be a really good cook. I wish you could try her lasagne."

"My mom made good lasagne too. Maybe they both used our grandmother's recipe?"

"Maybe." Spencer took another bite. "It's like cheese and sauce and noodles all came together and had a beautiful love child."

Jessica gave him a strange look. "Okay? You do realize that's fried rice, right?"

"It is?" Spencer suddenly looked sad. "I wanted lasagne."

"I'll make lasagne tomorrow," Jessica offered. Internally, she wondered what on earth had gotten into Spencer now. This didn't seem like post-kidnapping blues. She didn't know what this was.

The next Tuesday was the second anniversary of Jessica's adoption. She hung up a banner in the living room, made a scrapbook of photos and got Garcia to call in an order from Spencer's favorite Indian place, hoping to restore some sense of positivity to the apartment.

At first, it seemed to work. Spencer didn't snap once all through dinner, they had a pleasant conversation reminiscing about the various photos in the scrapbook, and then they turned on the TV and began watching a Star Trek rerun together. That was when everything went wrong.

Feeling content for the first time in weeks, Jessica put her head on Spencer's shoulder and snuggled up to his arm. Without meaning to, she put pressure on the inside of his elbow. He hissed in pain and jerked away, staring accusingly at her. She frowned in bewilderment. "Did something happen to your arm?"

"No." Spencer shifted away from her and looked at the TV again. Not believing him, Jessica leaned over and yanked up his sleeve. To her shock, she saw something she'd never expected to see on Spencer's arm—something she'd only seen photos of in health class before.

"You're doing drugs?!" Jessica signed in disbelief.

For a few moments, Spencer looked like he had no idea what to say. Then he grabbed the remote, turned off the TV, and glared at her. "So what if I am?"

"You're supposed to be a genius, I thought you were smarter than that! You'll make yourself sick! Or lose your job! Or overdose and die!"

"I know what dosage is safe to take," Spencer retorted. "As for my job, that'll only be in danger if you go talking behind my back again. And if they do fire me for drugs, CPS will probably take you away and put you back in foster care." He stood up, looking angrier than Jessica had ever seen him. "So for once, you are going to keep this to yourself, do you understand?!"

"I understand," Jessica signed meekly, eyes wide. She hurried into her bedroom, slammed the door and collapsed onto her bed, shaking with sobs.

The next morning, Jessica skipped breakfast and headed straight out the front door, determined to avoid Spencer. At some point during morning classes, Spencer sent a message informing her that the team was going to New Orleans, and reminding her not to say a word to Garcia. Jessica hoped the case would be a long one—and instantly regretted that hope, since it would likely mean more victims.

Jessica laid on Garcia's couch, staring at the ceiling. There had to be something she could do. Something that would bring back the old Spencer before things got out of hand. Oh who was she kidding, things were already out of hand. Just as she'd feared, his kidnapping had sent him on a downward spiral, just like Elle. Well, a very different downward spiral, but a downward spiral all the same.

Wait. Elle. Elle wasn't part of the team any more, so Jessica could talk to her, couldn't she? Feeling a glimmer of hope for the first time that day, she pulled out her phone. "If I tell you something, will you promise not to tell ANYONE?"

"That sounds ominous, but I promise," Elle replied.

"Spencer's doing drugs. I confronted him, and he got really angry and basically threatened me into not telling the team. I don't know what to do."

"Oh my god. He THREATENED you?"

"Not physically, but he said if I told anyone he'd lose his job and I'd get taken away."

Elle took a few minutes to respond. "Well, there's some truth in that. But you're right not to let this go. Do you have any idea how long this has been going on?"

"I'm guessing since the kidnapping. He went through his prescription painkillers faster than he was supposed to. I should have seen it then."

"It's hard to see ugly truths about people we love." Again, there was radio silence for several minutes, then Elle sent some advice. "The first step is getting him to admit he has a problem. I think the best way to do that is to create some negative consequence that he can't ignore. How about you ask Garcia if you can stay with her for the foreseeable future, and tell Spencer you're not coming home until he quits?"

"But Garcia will want to know why. And she's terrible at keeping secrets."

"If things got this bad at home, I'm guessing it's affected his work performance too. She probably knows something is off already. Just tell her you and Spencer had a fight, and you want to give him time to cool off."

Jessica swallowed. "Okay. Thanks."

Jessica decided not to say anything to Garcia until the team was on their way home, hoping to put the topic out of her mind for a little while. Unfortunately, it seemed that Spencer's job performance was indeed suffering. Thursday night, she got a text from Morgan. "Hey, could you do me a favor and ask Reid if he's okay? He's either ignoring us or he's gotten into some kind of trouble again, and I'm really hoping he's just ignoring us."

Jessica considered ignoring Morgan too, but then she decided she didn't want to risk a repeat of the Amber Alert fiasco. "Honestly, I think he's less likely to answer me than you. Please don't ask why."

A minute later, Morgan sent another message. "Hey, we all can tell something's going on with him. But we can't help if we don't know what the problem is."

"I have help. I have a plan. Please just drop it."

"Well this really isn't good," Morgan said to Prentiss.

"What?" she asked worriedly.

"Seems Reid and Jessica have had some sort of falling out, and now she's acting almost as cagey as he is."

Prentiss frowned. "Wasn't she the one originally sharing her worries with you?"

"Something must have changed. Something's happened that she doesn't want us to know about." Morgan grimaced. "I can think of one gaping possibility, and I don't like it."

Prentiss sighed, having long since come up with the same theory. "What do we do?"

"I don't know," Morgan replied, shaking his head. "We can't do much of anything unless he admits to himself that he has a problem."

"Somehow, we have to make him admit it," Prentiss concluded.

"You gonna tell me why you missed that flight to Galveston?" Morgan asked, taking the plunge.

Reid feigned confusion. "I already told you, there was no cell reception."

"Right," Morgan said flatly. "How about you explain why your cousin—scratch that, your daughter in all but name thinks you're even less likely to talk to her than to us?"

Reid opened his mouth and found he had no response to that. His last conversation with Jessica had affected him more deeply than he was ready to admit. He hadn't entirely trusted her to keep his secret, and he'd started to seriously contemplate the prospect of losing his job. It was why he'd missed that plane—he'd wanted to see if he could leave this job. But now, it had been three days, and he was coming to the conclusion that Jessica truly wasn't going to share. And given her behavior ever since his kidnapping, the only reason she would hide something like this was because he'd truly scared her. And that scared him.

"I'm struggling," Reid admitted quietly.

Gideon sighed. "Well…anybody who's been through what you've been through recently…would."

"I crossed a line, with Jessica. I…" Reid trailed off and shook his head.

"And now you're wondering if you're fit to raise her?"

Reid swallowed. "Yeah."

"Every parent makes mistakes," Gideon said seriously. "We wouldn't be human if we didn't. But kids are resilient. Reach out to her. Apologize. Let her know you know you were in the wrong. In time, I'm sure she'll forgive you."

"I'm not so sure I deserve it."

"Then earn it. The day you stop trying to be a good parent is the day you no longer are one."

Reid lifted his head and sadly stared at Ethan, wishing he could be as carefree as his old friend looked right now. "Thanks."

When Spencer got home, he immediately went to Jessica's room, intending to apologize. Instead, he found a note taped to her door.

Dear Spencer,

You have a problem. You may not see it, but you do. I haven't told the team, if that's what you're worried about. But because I love you, I can't ignore this and pretend everything's okay. Every day that you act like the drugs are more important than your own family is another day I spend at Penelope's. You said it yourself—you choose the drugs, you lose me. Let me know when you're ready to quit. Until then, I don't want to hear from you.

Hoping to hear from you soon,

Your loving cousin

Spencer's hands shook as he re-read the letter. He could feel the beginning stages of withdrawal already. He did want to quit. But…quitting cold turkey was dangerous. It would be safer to slowly wean himself off it. He couldn't actually quit…yet.

He readied another syringe, forcing himself to lower the dose.

Monday morning, Reid walked into Garcia's office and handed her a fifty-dollar bill. "Here. Should be enough to cover a week's worth of food, plus some extra for water and electricity."

Garcia took the bill and gave him an odd look. "Why are you paying me for that?"

"Call it child support," Reid replied. "I can give you more if you need it."

"Wait a minute, let me get this straight—you'd rather pay child support than just apologize and make up with Jessica?!"

Reid grimaced. "I don't know how much she's told you, but it's going to take more than an apology to fix this."

Garcia folded her arms. "And avoiding her is somehow going to help more than apologizing?"

"I'm not signing over custody permanently. But I need to earn back the right to raise her. Until I do, she's better off with you."

Garcia stood up. "No. I don't know what's going through that genius brain of yours, but you need to cut that out. You're her family. That girl dropped everything, flew to Georgia and spent two days in a psycho's living room because she was terrified of losing you. Now I know you've been having a hard time since then, but you can't convince me that there is anywhere better for Jessica than at your side!"

Reid shook his head. "Garcia, please, just…trust me on this. I have some stuff I need to work through."

"And she can help you if you let her!"

"She is helping!"

"Oh, by hiding out at my place? Seriously, Reid, I am this close to locking the two of you in a room together!"

Frustrated, Reid rolled up his sleeve. "Still think she's better off with me?!"

Garcia's jaw dropped. For once, the bubbly blonde had been rendered completely speechless.

Reid rolled his sleeve back down again. "Like I said, I'm working on it. But right now, I don't trust myself around her. So please, just take care of her, and tell her I love her." He headed to the door, then paused and looked back. "Oh, and, uh…I'd really appreciate it if…if you didn't tell anyone about this."

Garcia slowly nodded, still stunned. "Your secret's safe with me."

"Thanks." Reid exited her office, closed the door and leaned against it, breathing hard. Showing Garcia his track marks had been an entirely impulsive decision; he hoped he hadn't made a mistake. Now more than ever, he needed to get things under control.

Meanwhile, with the Sarah Danlin case wrapped up, Morgan had spent all day Sunday worrying over his last conversation with Jessica. Back at work on Monday, he came to a decision and headed into Gideon's office. "Hey, Gideon, you got a minute?"

Gideon set aside a file. "Yeah, what's up?"

Morgan closed the door before continuing. "When Reid missed that plane last week, I asked Jessica to check up on him for us, and, uh…" Morgan hesitated, then pulled out his phone and showed Gideon the conversation. "If she's really got things under control, I don't wanna interfere, but I just want to be sure…I figure, out of all of us, you're probably the one she looks up to most after Reid, so are you her 'help'?"

Gideon squinted at the phone for a closer look. "No. I talked to Reid on Saturday, and he said something had happened between the two of them and he needed to make things right, but I haven't heard anything from Jessica."

Morgan sighed and rubbed his forehead. "Man, look, I don't know exactly what's going on…"

"And you don't want to say what you think is going on?" Gideon finished. "We all want to help him, but the less any of us get involved in this, the better. He wants to fix things. If Jessica's got this under control, it's best we stay out of it."

"You're just gonna trust that a fourteen-year-old has this under control?" Morgan said skeptically.

"No, I'll talk to her," Gideon assured.

At lunch, Jessica saw that she had a message from Gideon. "How are things with Spencer?"

"Fine," Jessica replied. As much as she respected Gideon, he was one of Spencer's supervising agents, which meant she really couldn't tell him what was going on.

"So he's apologized for whatever 'line' he feels he's crossed?"

Jessica stared in surprise at that. Apparently, not only had Spencer finally realized he had a problem, but he had talked to Gideon about it? "No, but I'm glad he realizes he DID cross one. What exactly did he tell you?"

"None of what I suspect you are purposely withholding from me. It's all right, I'm not asking for details. I just want to know if what you told Morgan is true, and someone is helping you manage this."

Jessica swallowed. Of course, Spencer worked with profilers, she should have realized they'd figure out the problem anyway. "I've been talking to Elle. She's been a lot of help."

"Good. None of us want Spencer to lose his job, but if things get really out of hand, please don't be afraid to turn to us. His life is more important than his job."

"Thanks."

When Garcia got home that afternoon, she sat down next to Jessica. "So, I talked to Reid."

"You did?" Jessica asked warily.

"Yes. He explained what's going on. He actually wants you to stay with me for a while, and he said to tell you he loves you." Garcia swallowed. "God, I'm so sorry, I had no idea you were dealing with this." She leaned forward and gave Jessica a hug.

Jessica returned the embrace for a few moments, then pulled away again. "So, he…he's going to quit?"

"That's what it sounded like. Your fight must have knocked some sense into him."

Jessica shuddered. "I don't care what brought him to his senses, I'm just glad something did. It's been awful."

"Oh, sweetie," Garcia murmured aloud, pulling Jessica in for another hug. Jessica sobbed on her shoulder.