Chapter Ten - All about Lily, Nomomom

Charlotte hurried to her dorm, not bothering to slow down or glance back as she climbed the stairs. The memory of the boys, dishevelled and shirtless, stuck with her, gnawing at the edges of her mind. She couldn't help but feel a bit confused by her reaction, especially to seeing James. Sirius was easy to laugh off—his teasing and swagger always made things seem light. But James… James was different. His confidence stirred something deeper, something she couldn't quite name. Her thoughts kept drifting back to him—his messy dark curls, always falling perfectly into place, and those hazel eyes. She hadn't really noticed his eyes before, but now that she had, she couldn't stop thinking about them. They were sharp, intense.

The thought made her blush, her cheeks heating up as she replayed the way he had ruffled his hair earlier, those curls falling into his eyes, the way his glasses sat slightly crooked on his nose. Why was she thinking about his hair? His eyes? His... everything? She bit her lip, trying to shake the feelings away, but it only made the blush deepen.

No. She had to get a grip. This was James Potter, the boy who had spent years pining after Lily.

She quickly shut her dorm door behind her and wasted no time scrubbing away the evidence of last night. A hangover potion would do most of the work, but the ache in her head was still present, dull but persistent. As she washed her face and twisted her hair into a more respectable bun, she tried to push the morning's events from her mind.

It didn't take long for her to throw on a fresh uniform, and soon she was heading to the Great Hall, hoping to slip in unnoticed.

When she entered, the familiar buzz of conversation filled the air, but her eyes were drawn to the far end of the Gryffindor table. There they were—James, Sirius, Remus, and Peter—laughing together like they hadn't a care in the world. The sight of them made her stomach twist, a strange mix of irritation and something else. She wasn't ready to face them yet, not after the weird tension from that morning.

She made a deliberate point of sitting alone at the far end of the table, her back to them. She focused on her breakfast, but her thoughts kept drifting back to the dorm, to James' half-smile, to the way Sirius had teased her, and the way she'd felt when James had been so... shirtless.

Confused. That's all it was. Just confusion.

She stabbed at her food with unnecessary force, trying to shake off the uncomfortable mix of feelings. She didn't want to be drawn into their circle, didn't want to care about what they thought of her, or what she thought of them. But it was getting harder to maintain that distance, harder to keep her walls up.

And harder still to figure out why James Potter of all people had started to matter.

Charlotte kept her eyes trained on the plate in front of her, making a concerted effort to ignore the presence of the boys just a few tables away. Despite her best intentions, she found her gaze drifting toward them, her fingers tightening around her fork as she caught sight of James leaning back in his chair, throwing his head back in laughter. Sirius, ever the jokester, was gesturing wildly, causing Remus to shake his head with a smirk.

She couldn't help but think back to that moment in the dorm. The sharp contrast between Sirius' teasing ease and James' quiet, almost unintentional allure was impossible to shake.

She hated it. Hated that she'd allowed herself to be caught up in their world, even for a moment. And hated even more that she couldn't quite sort out what had unsettled her more—Sirius' flirtatious confidence or the way James had looked at her, the slightest hint of something in his eyes that had been… different.

She speared a sausage on her plate, too forcefully, and winced as the juice splattered onto her hand. Brilliant.

Before she could wipe it away, she noticed a familiar presence beside her. She didn't need to look up to know who it was. She could hear Sirius' light chuckle before he even spoke.

"Eating alone, are we?" His voice held that usual playful lilt, as if he found her choice of solitude amusing rather than concerning.

Charlotte didn't look up, but her grip on the fork tightened as she replied, "Some of us prefer a quiet breakfast without a side of noise pollution."

Sirius slid onto the bench beside her, completely ignoring the fact that he wasn't invited. "You wound me, Evans. We're great company, promise."

"Not in the mood for company, Black," she muttered, shifting slightly away from him. She wasn't sure if it was because of his proximity or the fact that he was still clearly amused at her expense.

"Oh come on, I know you're dying to join us." He nudged her shoulder lightly, that signature grin plastered on his face. When she finally looked up, she saw James watching them from across the room, his expression unreadable. It wasn't quite the casual smile she was used to seeing from him.

Charlotte's stomach did another one of those annoying flips, and she forced herself to look away quickly, her voice lower now, barely audible. "Maybe another time."

Sirius frowned, clearly not used to hearing no. But, unlike other times, he didn't push. He stood slowly, still watching her with that lazy smirk. "Suit yourself. But just so you know… you're missing out."

He sauntered back to the table, sliding into his seat beside James, who didn't seem nearly as interested in the conversation anymore. Charlotte let out a breath she didn't realise she'd been holding and focused back on her plate. But the damage was done.

Her appetite was gone, her thoughts swirling with confusion, frustration, and that underlying tension she couldn't quite shake. What had James meant by saying they were friends? Why had that stung so much, when she knew it wasn't the truth?

She told herself she didn't care. She didn't want to care. But the gnawing feeling in the pit of her stomach said otherwise.

Across the hall, James was frowning now, barely hearing a word Sirius was saying. His eyes kept drifting back to Charlotte, who was resolutely staring at her plate, the distance between them feeling much wider than the few metres it actually was. He didn't know why, but something had changed between them, and it didn't sit right with him.

Sirius nudged him, leaning close. "Mate, you alright?"

James blinked, dragging his attention back to the conversation. "Yeah, fine," he mumbled, but his mind was elsewhere.

As the minutes ticked by and more students filled the Great Hall, Charlotte forced herself to focus on finishing her meal. She wasn't hungry, not really, but the rhythmic motions of eating at least gave her something to do—something to think about other than the spiralling confusion in her mind.

Friendship. That's what James had called it.

She stabbed at a piece of toast, her mind replaying his words. They were friends now, apparently. But was that really true? The moment he'd tied her into Lily again, it all felt shallow, fragile—like a mirage that faded the moment she reached out to touch it.

Were they really friends, or was this all still about his obsession with her sister? The thought left a sour taste in her mouth, and she swallowed hard, pushing the plate away.

With a quick glance toward the boys, she could see that they had returned to their usual banter, though James seemed distracted. He wasn't laughing along with the others as easily as he usually did, and his gaze flickered to her every so often—hesitant, questioning.

A part of her wanted to go over there, to try and smooth over whatever had shifted between them this morning. But the other part—the part that had built walls high enough to keep everyone at a safe distance—was already hardening, retreating into familiar patterns. It was safer to assume that none of this was real. Safer to assume it had always been about Lily, even if James didn't know it himself.

With that decision made, Charlotte stood abruptly, scraping her chair back and grabbing her things. She didn't care if she drew attention as she walked out of the hall, leaving the remnants of breakfast behind. The sooner she was out of that room, the better.

Later, as she made her way through the quieter corridors toward her next class, Charlotte found herself caught in her own thoughts once more. Friendship. The idea of it almost felt foreign now, after so many years of keeping people at arm's length. It had been easier that way—easier to keep the world at a distance.

But somehow, James had wormed his way in, pulling Sirius, Remus, and even Peter along with him. And now… now she didn't know what to do with that. Could she even trust them? Or was she setting herself up for disappointment again?

She shook her head, frustrated with herself. It didn't matter. The walls were back up, and that was all that mattered.