CHAPTER 13 - PHYSICAL THERAPY

Notes:

First of all, I'M SORRYYYYYYYYY!

I know I have you all spoilt by posting one chapter a day, and yesterday my job didn't allow me to. Adult life, you know.
And I feel I must tell you that, from now on, I doubt I will be able to post more than one or two chapters a week.
We've finished ACT 1, and in ACT 2 onwards I haven't re-read these chapters so many times, therefore they need more editing and proofreading than the others.
So, don't you worry! The rest of the story is coming, but as I said in a few comments, I would have to slow down at some point.

I must say, though, that I normally aim at one chapter a week. So, you won't be left with nothing.
Without further ado, LET'S CONTINUE THE STORY!

That night Harry woke up several times, his mind attuned to Severus. Every time he woke up he looked to his left, but Severus was sleeping, his breathing deep and even, his chest rising and falling with each breath. Harry closed his eyes, feeling how they were shifting closer and closer. Until one of the times he woke up, Severus's arm was slightly stretched, his hand touching his shoulder.

They didn't stop touching the rest of the night.

It warmed something in Harry's heart when he woke up and could feel the weight of Severus's hand. Even in his sleep, it seemed that Severus wanted to make sure he was there, he wasn't leaving.

The following morning, Harry felt himself waking up with the sunlight straight to his face, and he put his arm on his face to cover it. He moaned and stretched, and realised his feet didn't touch the footboard. It took him a second to remember where he was.

When he opened one of his eyes, Severus was lying on his side with one of his hands under his head. He was so close to Harry that he was on the edge of his bed, his head nearly touching his, though it was resting on his pillow. He was awake and his eyes were clear, he seemed to have been awake for some time. And his lips were twitching, a smirk fighting to come out.

"Good morning. Although mornings are not your strong suit, I see," he said in a low, rough voice.

"Mo'ning. Neither are yours," Harry said, his voice rough with sleep, "judging by your hair."

"My hair is perfectly fine as it is, thank you," Severus replied, feigning offence.

"Yeah, if by fine you mean a bad case of bed hair like mine, then absolutely," Harry said, and he chuckled.

Severus's hand went to his hair, and he grimaced when he felt how greasy it was, all tangles and knots everywhere. Harry chuckled and stretched his arms and legs, yawning. His hand sought Severus's, finding it close to his face, and wrapped his fingers around it.

"Don't worry, we'll wash it today," he said, lowering his voice, "how are you, did you sleep well?"

"Yes, quite," Severus replied.

Severus wasn't effusive by nature, but when Harry looked at him, he could see the truth on his face. It looked less pale than before, at least by his standards of pale, and his eyes were clearer. No trace of anger or resentment was left on those dark pools. They looked… serene. Content.

"I feel I must say this, but thank you Harry... for staying," Severus whispered, as his cheeks were tainted with a pinkish colour.

Harry smiled and squeezed his hand, still holding onto it. With a gentleness Harry didn't know he had, he gently pulled at Severus's hand. He took it to his lips and he pressed them to the back of his hand.

His eyes were closed but he could hear Severus's light gasp. Harry smiled and raised his gaze, tilting his head.

"I know this hasn't solved much, and we will need time to heal the wounds of our past, both of us. But I would stay a thousand times over," Harry told him in a low voice.

Severus didn't reply, but he couldn't take his eyes off Harry's face, and they were glistening, his lower lip trembling slightly.

Merlin, has nobody shown any affection to this man?

He felt Severus needed a breather, and Harry was willing to give him one.

So, looking down and realising he was wearing the clothes of the day before, he grimaced.

"Urgh, don't come close to me! I reek," he said with a disgusted face. As expected, Severus snorted, "Shall I have a shower, and then we have breakfast? Are you hungry?"

"Starving."

Harry then jumped from the bed, stretching his back and arms and yawning. He blinked when he saw Severus's eyes fixed on him, and he raised his eyebrows. Severus, however, made no comment and Harry shrugged his shoulders.

"Great, give me five minutes and I'll be back."

With that, Harry transfigured the cot he'd slept in back into the usual chair and walked to the bathroom. A clean towel and a new set of clothes were waiting for him, and he smirked as he undressed and jumped into the shower, mentally thanking the Hogwarts elves.

The warm water helped ease the tightness in his muscles, but he didn't take too long. By the time he was out, his hair still damp, Severus was already sitting on the bed.

"Bathroom?" Harry asked.

Severus nodded, and as it was usual for him now, got up from the bed. He was getting stronger, so Harry waited until he pushed himself up and started to walk the few steps he was able to. He didn't want Severus to lose this good mood he was in, so he wrapped his arms around his waist and when his knees finally gave out, Harry made no comment as he helped him.

He let him time to do his necessities and clean himself up, before helping him back to bed. It was still shocking to Harry that an action that had taken so long and so much effort for Severus to accept, now they could do so easily, as they conversed.

"Kreacher!" with a pop, Kreacher appeared with a loud crack, once Severus was back in bed.

"Professor Snape," he said as he bowed slightly to Severus, "Master Potter, sir, are you already up?"

Harry smiled and nodded, omitting he'd spent the night in the Hospital Wing.

"We'd like some breakfast for Professor Snape and I, Kreacher, can you do that? Oh, and a copy of the Daily Prophet, please," Harry requested.

Kreacher nodded and disappeared with a snap of his fingers.

"I didn't know Kreacher was here," Severus said, Harry nodded.

"Sirius left me Grimmauld Place and all its possessions, including Kreacher, to me. When we first started our hunt for the Horcruxes we spent weeks at Headquarters, and it took some time but he started to look after us. I gave him permission to return to Grimmauld Place if he wanted, but he's happy here and he has company," Harry said.

"He must be very loyal to you," Severus commented, "besides the fact that you're his owner now. He wasn't… much of a good company at Headquarters."

"No, he wasn't. But he had a devotion for Regulus. When I gave him the false locket Regulus found, he changed," Harry said.

Severus's expression changed at the mention of Regulus.

"You knew him, didn't you?"

Severus nodded.

"He was only one year younger than me," he said, "he looked like his brother but smaller and lighter. And I'd venture to say, more handsome."

Harry raised his eyebrow but refrained from commenting.

"What was he like? Was he like Sirius?" Harry asked.

"I didn't know much about Black except for his enjoyment in assaulting me and playing pranks on me," Severus said, "but I'd say that no, he wasn't. Regulus never talked much about his family, but he did mention his brother had escaped at 16."

"He was much respected within the family, and being a Death Eater was a proud moment for them."

"Of course, the Blacks, much like the Malfoys, had an obsession with the pure blood," Severus said, "I only knew about his death time later. He suddenly disappeared. Nobody knew what had happened, and nobody dared to ask the Dark Lord about him."

"Did you find out, eventually?" Harry asked. Severus shook his head, "do you want to know?"

Severus seemed to think for a moment.

"I do," he said.

Harry sighed and began to tell him the story of how Voldemort took Kreacher to the cave where he hid the Horcrux, and how he'd let Kreacher there to die. How he'd returned home using his elf magic, had told Regulus everything and that was the last straw for Regulus.

"He must've already been thinking about defecting for some time," Harry said. "But the fact that He would treat his loyal elf so badly and leave him to die, without even letting him know or trying to save him, was the thing that pushed him over the edge. That's also why Kreacher was so loyal to him after death."

By the time Harry finished, Severus was grabbing the bedsheets in his hands.

"Blasted Regulus," Severus muttered, "he should've let things stay the way they were…"

"Maybe, but where would we be if he had?" Harry asked, "Regulus was brave and he started something we were able to finish. Something that allowed us to kill him."

Severus sighed and shook his friends.

"You were friends, weren't you?" Harry asked, unable to resist.

Severus's eyes focused on him, and then, he slowly nodded.

"He was alone in Slytherin. He didn't seem to fit very well, even though he upheld his family traditions," Severus said, his expression softening, "we were loners. After my… argument with Lily, I started to spend more time with him. We got the Mark together, he and me."

Harry gasped quietly.

"I'm sorry, Severus," he said.

"It was a long time ago," Severus said, his voice subdued, "I just wished he had told me what he was doing. I could've helped."

"He didn't know you were defecting too. And it was too risky to tell anyone of that circle," Harry said, "you know all about that, you could trust no one. He couldn't either, except for Kreacher. And thank Merlin for him."

Severus nodded, but his face was contorted in a sad expression. He had mourned for Regulus, Harry could see it plain as day.

Harry then shifted to the edge of his seat, his fingers creeping until they found his hand. Slowly, gently, he placed his hand on top of Severus's.

"I'm sorry, Severus. You've lost so many people to this war... I don't even know what to say," he said in a whisper.

Harry was only now realizing that, while Severus had been secretly fighting for their side all along, he had never been truly accepted here — merely tolerated. Many people, like himself, had never trusted him. And it had been so easy for people like McGonagall or his old colleagues, some of whom had known him since he was a kid, to distrust him after decades of working together. Meanwhile, he had also pretended to belong to the only group where he found genuine acceptance, with people like Regulus and the Malfoys. Yet, all the while, he had been betraying them and working against their cause.

It seemed that Severus was bound to never find acceptance or belonging, wherever he went.

"It's fine... as I said, it was a long time ago," Severus replied.

But his voice sounded low, full of grief. Harry squeezed his hand, and when Severus looked at him, he tried to give him a small smile.

Just then, Kreacher arrived with breakfast.

It was a welcome break from the gloomy atmosphere that talking about Regulus had brought.

"Thanks, Kreacher. You should serve yourself some pudding today, as a reward," Harry said with a smile.

"Master," Kreacher said with a bow, though he was smiling and his ears were up. Then, he disappeared with a crack.

Harry then conjured a small table for Severus to eat in bed and another one for him so he could leave the trays, which had been levitating so far. He served Severus coffee, black and with no sugar, and served his own with two lumps of sugar and a splash of milk.

He tasted the coffee and was glad to find that it was the strong brew he'd had the last time.

"How does Kreacher know to prepare this coffee for you?" Harry asked as he licked his lips, the strong aftertaste of the drink on them.

"I never told him, as I said, I never knew he was here. But the elves do know about it," Severus said, "they must've told him and that's why they made one for you as well."

They started digging into their food. It was so different from eating with Ron and Hermione, normally Ron all but devoured his food, and his table manners were doubtful. Severus, however, ate slowly, chewing for a long time before he swallowed.

Knowing he came from a working-class background, he assumed it was probably the Malfoy's influence that gave him so much elegance.

The conversation derived into happier topics, discussing this and that, until Harry remembered.

"By the way, I saw Charlie Weasley the other day at Diagon Alley," Harry said. "I invited them to come spend the day here for my birthday, and he mentioned he'd like to see you."

Severus arched an eyebrow as he sipped his coffee, but said nothing.

"Would you like to see him?" Harry asked, "I said I had to ask you first. I think it would be a good idea to see him, but I'd understand if you don't want to be seen here."

Severus was silent for a few seconds, then left the coffee cup on the saucer.

"I didn't see much of him at Order meetings, he was in Romania still," Severus said, looking down at the cup, "a bit of a brute, for my taste. But a good Weasley."

Harry laughed at Charlie's description, it fitted perfectly with his rough manners but good heart.

"As most Weasleys are," Harry said with a smile, "think about it, okay?"

"Will it be just Charlie?" Severus asked.

Harry nodded.

"Yes, just Charlie. I understand you don't want your current students to see you here, and we have a past history with Ron, Hermione and Ginny," Harry answered.

Severus hummed.

"I must say, Charlie was the only one supportive when I told him we were becoming friends," Harry added. "He said… that you were much different when he was at school, not like Ron and Ginny had painted you. Hermione deduced it had been my presence here that changed you for the worse."

Severus scoffed at that, his eyebrows knit together.

"You didn't even realise, did you? That you were different..." Harry said.

Severus shook his head.

"In the later years, of course it was the war and everything surrounding it. But when you came... It is possible that all my memories came back in full force. Perhaps I did become more erratic and hateful."

"No wonder," Harry said. Then he leaned forward, his voice lowering a notch, "It's okay if you don't want visitors, Severus. Charlie seemed to genuinely want to see you, but you don't have to do it, and I won't force you into anything. Neither will Charlie," Harry said, "just think about it, okay?"

"What will you do if he's here, then? Not much you can do in the castle at this time of the year," Severus said.

"I don't know, maybe we can walk to Hogsmeade? I haven't thought about it," Harry said shrugging, though then he leaned forward, and he said, mischievously, "but don't think for a moment you'll get rid of me, eh? You're stuck with me for a long, long time!"

Severus scoffed.

"I'll endure it," he said.

But Harry saw the way his eyes softened and his lips drew an amused smirk. Harry nodded, satisfied.

Later that morning Pomfrey came to check on Severus's overall state, his wound and his ability to stand and walk.

"Okay Severus, now that you can walk a bit, have recovered some strength and your magical core is more stable, we can go onto physical therapy."

She flickered her wand, and a quill began to write on its own on a piece of parchment.

"We'll start in a few days, as soon as I can get a therapist. You'll have sessions in the morning. Then Potter can check on you."

"What will they involve?" Severus asked.

"Isolation and body weight exercises to help you build muscle mass. Stretching for flexibility, walking for longer periods for mobility and stamina," Pomfrey explained. "I'll write to St Mungo's immediately to request a therapist."

At that, Harry got up from the chair he had been sitting on. Severus was looking away, his hands clenching the bedsheets, clearly uncomfortable.

"Ma'am, is it advisable?" he asked, standing at the foot of Severus's bed, "we agreed to keep Sev-Professor Snape here to keep him safe. Will it be safe to have someone floo-travel from St Mungo's?"

"As safe as it can be, Potter," she replied. "I will personally do a background check on them, as I do with every medical professional that comes from the Hospital. But I would rather not do physical therapy, as I have just a basic understanding of it."

Harry nodded, though he wasn't convinced.

"Right, well, I'll leave you to it then," Pomfrey said as she picked up her wand, "rest up today, Severus. Tomorrow will be a trying day, and it will hurt for a few days, so be patient."

Severus only nodded, but his frown deepened. When she left, Harry sat on the chair beside the bed as he usually did.

"Thank you," Severus said, "I know it shouldn't worry me, I trust Poppy and her judgment. But…"

"One can never be too safe. I know," Harry said as he imitated Mad-Eye Moody, "constant vigilance!"

Severus chuckled at Harry's poor attempt at lightening the mood, but it helped. Harry leaned closer and gently held Severus's hand in his.

"I can check them out too, and if you want me here to keep you company, I can be here," he said in a low tone.

"I don't think there's any need," Severus said, though his frown had returned, and Harry racked his brain for something to cheer him up.

"What about washing that hair of yours now, hey?" he said as he got up.

"Now?"

"Now's a great time as any," Harry replied.

"But what about the classrooms, don't you have work to do? You've been neglecting your work for the past few days..."

Harry then laughed.

"Stalling won't work on me, Severus," Harry said with a cheeky smile as he stuck out his tongue. Then he smiled and lowered his voice, "The classrooms won't move from where they are."

Severus nodded, and he squeezed Harry's hand, still holding his. Harry smiled, returning the squeeze, before he conjured a basin and some shampoo.

Now that Severus was awake, it was more comfortable to wash his hair, as he could be lying in bed with his head on the basin. Harry used his wand to pour some warm water onto his head.

"Close your eyes," he said, "try and relax."

The moment he opened the shampoo and poured a generous amount into his hands, he was hit with the smell of cedarwood he had got used to. He inhaled deeply and smiled, that scent of wood and forest immediately calming him down. He worked the shampoo with his hands onto Severus's strands, clearing it of any grime and grease his hair had produced. As he massaged the scalp, he could see Severus's body relaxing and sinking deeper into the mattress, and his smile widened. This was surely one of the best ways to calm Severus's nerves.

Once he was done he vanished the water and the basin and wrapped a towel around Severus's head, wringing out all the excess water.

When Severus opened his eyes again, he was looking much calmer and more relaxed.

A few days later, early in the morning Harry promptly appeared in the Hospital Wing, the Daily Prophet under his arm.

"Good morning," Harry said, but was greeted with a scowl and a grimace, "whops, are you okay?"

Severus only nodded. He was still lying in bed, the breakfast tray on the bedside table, untouched.

"What's wrong? Are you in pain?" Harry asked, walking to the bed and checking Severus's forehead for fever. Thankfully, it wasn't warm.

"No, I'm fine," Severus replied, batting Harry's hand away, "bad night."

Harry sat down on the chair, and using his wand to summon the tray closer to him, began to pour coffee onto the two cups already prepared.

"You need to eat, Severus. You'll need your energy today," Harry said.

"I know, Potter, I don't need you mothering me," Severus replied with scorn. Then he grimaced, lowering his gaze, "apologies. I just… don't have the patience to deal with nonsense right now."

"It's not nonsense. Don't you want to recover your strength and go back to your rooms?" Harry asked, "I'm sure you're dying to leave this blasted place and go back to the dungeons."

Severus looked at him and nodded, taking a deep breath.

"Well, then, you need to suck it up and do this," Harry said, "it'll be painful for the first few days, but you can do this."

"Easy to say," Severus scoffed, but he managed to sit up in bed so Harry could levitate the tray towards him.

"Oh, I know it won't be easy," Harry said as he passed him the cup of coffee, "but it'll be worth it in the end."

"Hmm," Severus just said as he took the first bite of toast.

He ate slowly, much more slowly than other days, and he didn't respond to Harry's attempts to engage him in chatter. By the time they'd finished and the breakfast trays had vanished, Harry leaned forward.

"Hey," he said in a whisper to call his attention, "if you can't or don't want to start this today, we can put it off. I said we'd do it at your pace, and I meant it. We can tell the therapist and start tomorrow. Or the day after."

Severus seemed to think about it for a second, the silence stretching, until he shook his head.

"No, I'd rather start today. The quicker the better," he said.

Harry then nodded.

"What happened tonight?" Harry asked.

Severus shook his head.

"Nightmares," he just said.

Harry nodded. He'd had his fair share of nightmares in his life and still had them, to know what they entailed and why Severus was on edge.

"D'you wanna talk about it?" he asked.

Severus shook his head, his lips tense into a thin line, the anguish and tension etched into his face.

"Okay. But remember, don't force yourself," Harry said.

However, the first session of physical therapy went as well as Harry imagined, which was, dismally.

The therapist was a woman in her fifties, and she had a no-nonsense air in her that Harry didn't like. She had a rounded figure, a bit overweight that the blue coat of St Mungo's medical care didn't manage to hide. Her hair was blond and curly, and she'd had it tied into a low bun at the base of her neck. She looked at Severus over her glasses, which were perched at the tip of her nose and were so big that didn't suit her face, as she fired him question after question.

Harry sat in a chair away from the bed, giving her and Severus space to work. He clenched his fists to maintain control when she grabbed Severus's left arm, where the Dark Mark was, and moved it without asking, checking his mobility and muscle mass. She arched an eyebrow at Severus's hiss when her thumb touched the Dark Mark but otherwise continued her work, seemingly unaware of Severus's obvious discomfort.

When she moved the bedsheets and made Severus get up, Harry immediately went to help.

"No, Potter. I need to test his strength," she said as she placed an arm in front of her and Severus, "he doesn't need your help."

"I can tell you his strength, he can take up to eight steps at one given time," Harry said, "but his strength gives out."

"I will have to see it for myself," she said as she turned towards Severus, "come on, walk."

Harry watched as Severus's expression tensed and turned blank, the only way to read him now was through his eyes. He turned back to look at Harry once before he grabbed the bedside table and used it to push himself up.

He stood on unsteady legs for a second, Harry observed as they seemed they would give out when he took one step forward. On the second step he had to let go of the bedside table, and he wobbled but took another step.

On the fourth, Severus stopped and growled. Harry watched behind him as his back tensed and then, almost as if he was watching in slow motion, saw how his legs gave out. He moved as fast as he could, fast enough to catch Severus before his knees hit the ground.

"Tut-tut, that was only four steps," the therapist said from behind them, "we might have more work in our hands than we anticipated."

Harry was about to respond, but he looked down when he felt Severus curling up against him. His bony hand had come to grasp the front of his T-shirt, so tight his knuckles were white. And he felt his body tremble like a leaf against his.

Something tugged at Harry's heart. This was more than Severus could handle, and the world be damned if Harry didn't do anything about it. He wrapped his arms around Severus, pulling him in and attempting to ignore the small, pained sounds coming from Severus's throat.

"That's enough," Harry hissed as his arms held him tighter, "you'd better leave, ma'am."

Silence.

The therapist didn't move, but Harry could still feel her behind them, breathing hard.

His hand found the handle of his wand faster than he'd ever thought possible. He spun around, his eyes ablaze with fire, and pointed the wand at her.

"I… said… GO! You won't like to be at the other end of my wand, Miss."

The therapist tensed her lips but she straightened her back and walked off, not sparing a glance at them.

Once she had left Harry flicked his wand and the door closed and locked itself, giving them privacy.

Then he looked down. Severus had still his T-shirt in his grasp and had hidden his face against his neck, his body still trembling.

"It's alright, Severus. This isn't your fault, she was forceful and frankly, quite awful," Harry murmured, "let me take you to bed."

Severus, though, shook his head, and in a movement that caught Harry by surprise, passed his arm around Harry's neck, burying his face in Harry's neck and hair. And then, his body shuddered uncontrollably as a whimper escaped his lips.

"Oh, Severus… hey… it's alright…" Harry said.

Harry was taken aback by Severus's reaction. He felt something inside of him break and a sudden urge to protect Severus from everything and everyone at his heartbreaking whimpers and his death grip on him. A surge of anger coursed through him and he clenched his teeth, resisting the urge to go back and snarl at the woman who'd dared to make Severus feel like this.

Very gently he picked him up, passing an arm around his back and another under his legs. He let him hide against him as he picked him up from the floor and walked back to bed.

But seeing as Severus was clinging to him, Harry sat down on the mattress, letting Severus rest on his lap.

He was panting and breathing hard, low whimpers coming from him and Harry could feel wetness on his neck.

"Severus, there's no need to be upset… this doesn't mean you didn't try enough…" Harry soothed in a whisper, "It's okay…"

His hand travelled to Severus's hair, now clean and shiny, and began to stroke it from the top down in methodical movements. The other hand was on his back and held him tight against him, as he shushed and murmured close to his ear.

Harry felt his soul fall at his feet when, after a while of murmured words in his ear, Severus pulled away slightly and he looked at Harry in the eyes.

They were red-rimmed, bulgy and completely wet. But what broke Harry, what made his heart clench inside his chest, was the incommensurable sadness in those dark pools. Severus said nothing, but Harry's hands went to his face and cupped his cheeks, brushing with his thumbs the traces the tears had left behind.

"This is not your fault, do you hear me? And it doesn't mean you will never recover," Harry said in a soft but firm voice. "We will find a therapist, or if need be, I'll go to the library and will read every single book on physical therapy I can find. Okay?"

Severus didn't nod, didn't shrug, didn't show he agreed. He only swallowed, his face lowering to his lap, his hands holding his fingers together.

A single tear rolled down Severus's cheek, descending slowly until it fell onto his hands. They were shaking.

"Come here…" Harry whispered as he gently nudged his head so he could rest it against his shoulder.

Severus did, pressing his nose against Harry's neck, hiding in his now longer hair. Harry wished more than anything to be able to make Severus feel better, to comfort the man in his arms who was in pain.

"Your body might need more time, but it's alright. We'll deal with it," Harry said in a soothing voice.

Severus only sniffled and pressed himself against Harry, as if he wanted to melt with him, to hide and never be seen again. It broke Harry from within, to see the man he had never seen cower in front of anyone, who had looked into Lord Voldemort's eyes and had lied to his face, be reduced to this.

It was so unfair, so unjust, and so painful to watch.

He turned his head, pressing his lips against Severus's temple, right below his hairline. Severus's skin was soft, and he didn't let out a single noise, but Harry felt him getting even closer. He let him rest and recover, pressed against him, until Severus himself pulled away.

When Severus was feeling more like himself, Harry placed him in bed, covering him with the bedsheets. Severus's expression was tight, avoiding Harry's eyes, his lips pinched together, his posture stiff and his muscles rigid. Harry reached over with his hand, rubbing Severus's arm.

"Now, why don't you lie down and-"

"Don't you fucking smother me!" Severus lashed out, batting Harry's hand away.

Harry stood, with his arms still outstretched, as Severus crossed his arms in front of his chest, a flash of hurt hidden in the whirlwind of anger and fury of his eyes, the vein in his temple bulging.

He felt a pang in his chest at Severus's reaction. But now, after their fight after Diagon Alley, Harry understood Severus's reactions better.

"Hey," Harry said, his voice firm, "I understand the frustration, Severus, I truly do. But you don't have to take it out on me. I'm just trying to help."

"You… you have no idea…" Severus hissed, clenching his jaw, his teeth bare. He snarled, looking down at his lap, his hands clutching the bedsheets in his fingers. He was clutching so hard it seemed he wanted to rip them apart.

"Do you truly think I don't know how it feels? To feel your body not responding?" Harry said, leaning forward. "Do you truly think I can't imagine the frustration you must be feeling now when you were always in control of your emotions and your body?"

Harry sat back and took a deep breath, trying to calm his breathing.

"I understand you were always independent, fiercely private and always in control. And I don't undervalue how frustrating and invasive this must be for you," Harry continued. "But what happened today has nothing to do with you or your recovery. That was entirely the therapist's fault, for being pushy and too forceful. This isn't on you."

Harry then knelt on the floor, so Severus would be in a taller position than him and cupped his face with his hand. He forced Severus's face to look at him, making him stare directly into his eyes.

"Do you hear me, Severus? This wasn't on you," Harry said, his voice firm, "don't you dare feel frustrated or guilty for this. Your recovery is your own, and it will be done at your own pace, not the pace of someone else's. Understood?"

Severus finally nodded, apparently calmer, though he was still breathing hard. Harry kept his hand on his cheek, encouraging him to breathe deeply until he could sense him calming down.

"I think… I will try to sleep," Severus whispered, his voice raspy.

Harry pulled away, and Severus grabbed the bedsheets to cover himself as he turned around, curling up on his side with his back to Harry. He stood, looking at Severus's back as he saw the movement of his breathing under the covers.

"Do you want to be alone?" Harry asked.

An almost imperceptible movement told him so, and Harry sighed. Something felt heavy in his chest and he repressed the urge to scream at Severus to be sensible.

This was Severus's way of dealing with his issues, and whether he liked it or not he had to respect it. He could only wait on the sidelines until Severus could accept he needed him.

Before he left, though, Harry placed his knee on the bed, right beside Severus's back, and jumped onto the bed as he wrapped his arm around him. He heard and felt Severus's surprised gap, and then he was glad to see him curling up more against himself, seeking more contact, more comfort.

Was it a good idea to leave? He wasn't so sure. But he had to respect Severus's voiced wishes.

"Okay, I'll let you rest. Just… don't push me away, okay?" Harry whispered as he leaned over, his cheek resting on Severus's shoulder, "I want to be here if you let me…"

He then squeezed Severus in his arms, releasing him and moving back.

"Don't hesitate to call me if you need me. You know I'll come," Harry practically begged him.

Then he left the Hospital Wing, his heart heavy with sorrow and concern.

Severus heard Harry's steps as he walked away and he closed the door behind him, leaving him alone in the Hospital Wing. Pomfrey was out, she should be here soon, but he didn't want to. He missed his wand and his magic, to be able to close the curtains and cast a silencing spell on himself so nobody could hear him.

He wanted to scream. To yell at the world, at himself, at everything for placing him where he was.

Why didn't this stupid body react?

He wasn't that old, for fuck's sake, why did it take so long to recover?

You were almost dead two months ago, came Harry's voice inside his head.

Yes, he had almost died, and he'd survived for sheer damn luck and his quick reaction to taking the antivenin. But for what? So he could have a body that found it difficult to walk ten steps towards the bathroom?!

He felt sick to his stomach and a dreadful pit as he remembered the therapist watching him struggle to walk. He had turned around once to see Harry, wanting to take strength from him, but what he had seen had given him everything but strength. Harry looked like a madman. His eyes were narrowed, his hair more messy than ever, and he looked like he wanted to bolt from the chair and strangle the woman.

Not that he hadn't had the same desire himself. His fingers hovered over the Dark Mark, tracing the outline with his index finger, as he remembered the careless and insensitive way the therapist had grabbed him. Just to check the muscle mass on his arm, apparently. Just because she could. Because it was her job.

But no, it hadn't been her fault. No matter what Harry said. It had been his own, his own body's inability to fucking stand and walk, to take the steps that separated him from the bathroom. His legs wobbled, still weak and frail, and he had managed to do even worse than the previous days.

Severus closed his eyes and hid his face in the bedsheets, curling up more against himself. He felt his lower back complain and send a pang of hurt down his spine. But he didn't care. He just wanted to hide, to hide and disappear.

He felt his eyes well up and he closed them, hot tears descending down his cheeks onto the pillow as he bit his lower lip. He tried to calm his tremors, to choke back the sobs that were fighting desperately to come out.

Harry's warm smile came to his mind, his green eyes soft and warm. A sudden need for him coursed through him, and he whimpered as he remembered Harry's warm hands and arms wrapped around him. His gentle way of holding him, the way he spoke to him.

He had lashed out at him, and Severus felt all the worse for it. Deep down, he knew Harry was just trying to help, but it had been so rattling, so frustrating to see his own body fail him.

He had done exactly what he had promised himself he wouldn't do.

He placed his hand inside his mouth and bit it down, desperately trying to cry out for Harry. He had just shooed him out, what right did he have to ask him to return? But he desperately wanted him, needed him.

Suddenly, the door burst open and someone rushed towards him, the steps fast and hard on the stone floor. A whimper escaped his lips when the smell of ink and parchment hit his nose.

He was back.

He didn't dare turn around when an arm wrapped around him. He just curled up against himself, hiding his face in the sheets. He desperately clutched at the arm that had wrapped around his middle frame, which pulled him against a strong and sturdy chest.

"Shhh it's okay… I'm here…" said his voice, and he knew who it belonged to.

The urge inside of him began to calm down as he pushed the bedsheets down enough to turn around and hide his face against Harry's chest. Strong arms enveloped him and he pressed himself against the warm body that was offering him solace and comfort. The man that he'd pushed away but now had returned, Merlin knew how.

The pit in his stomach loosened slightly as he relaxed into Harry's embrace, the smell of ink and parchment surrounding him, grounding him. Keeping him safe.

It wasn't long before he succumbed to exhaustion and fell asleep, still clutching at Harry and his face hidden in his chest.

He slept for hours, he didn't know how long.

"We have to do it ourselves, Ma'am," came a voice from behind him.

A while later, Severus blinked his eyes open, a bit disoriented, when he remembered what had happened. He was still curled up against himself, lying on his side in the Hospital Wing bed, and Harry's voice came from behind him.

"Are you sure, Potter?" that was Poppy's voice, "I mean, I checked Miss Turner's credentials and they were impeccable, I had no reason to suspect…"

"Her credentials might have been impeccable, but definitely not her humanity," Harry hissed. "It's impossible she didn't know who the Professor was. And still, she grabbed Professor Snape's arm by the Dark Mark, didn't care when he hissed in pain and forced him to walk until he fell."

"That might have been a bit harsh, but I'm sure that…"

"He cried in my arms, ma'am. Cried," Harry said. And the way his voice sounded was serious and adamant, "In all the years you've known the Professor, in all the years you've seen him go through pain and grief. How many times have you seen him cry?"

The silence stretched, and when Poppy responded, Severus had to force his ear.

"One," she said.

She didn't have to say when that one time had been.

Harry's voice was now lower, deeper, and it showed a concern Severus had a hard time understanding.

"This isn't the Professor we know, he's suffering and this time, he can't hide his pain. In other circumstances he would've hexed the therapist in a flash… but he's vulnerable now, and not just physically," Harry said.

"What do you propose?"

"You show me everything you know about physical therapy, and I will go to the library to do some research. I should also ask Hermione Granger for books I can read on it," Harry said, "but I won't risk anyone else upsetting him as she did."

Poppy hummed in agreement.

"I just have a basic understanding of physical therapy, but I can show you and him some movements he can start doing to get stronger," she replied.

Harry said nothing, and there was a ruffling noise, Severus knew Harry had sat on the chair that he usually claimed.

"You are doing a good job, Potter, and Severus is strong," Poppy said in a lower voice, "he will recover from this."

"I hope you're right, ma'am," Harry's voice said, "I just… I hate to see him so vulnerable. I want to help."

Poppy sighed.

"You are helping him, Potter. The proof is that you're here, he is allowing himself to need you and rely on you," she said, "that is a huge step for Severus."

"Or it means he's hit rock bottom…"

"Even if that is the case, which I don't think it is," Poppy said, "he's relying on you now. That is more than he has ever allowed himself to do, do not take that lightly. I think you've managed to break the walls he had been keeping up for years. If you're with him, I think he can begin to recover, and not just physically."

There was the sound of a huge sigh coming from Harry.

"I want to," Harry said, "but I don't know how… I feel like we're taking one step forward and two steps back, every time he relies on me he later backs out…"

"He isn't used to relying on others. Give him time, Potter," she said, "now, I have to go harvest some Silverweed with Pomona. I don't think I have to ask, but will you stay with him?"

"Absolutely," he said.

There were steps retreating from the Hospital Wing, and then the door closed gently, leaving only Harry and Severus inside.

Severus's head was spinning with so many thoughts inside his head. He hadn't realized that he had been backing out every time Harry had helped him. But now that he thought about it it was true. Every little thing Harry had done for him he'd encountered resistance from him.

Severus shivered to remember how he'd cried in Harry's arms, not wanting to be alone, needing to feel safe. A part of him now cringed at his reaction and wanted to push Harry away. But now that he knew what he had been doing, he couldn't unsee it.

He couldn't understand it himself.

One second he had wanted Harry gone and had pushed him away, and the next his entire body and mind were screaming for him to come back, to hold him. And Harry, Merlin knew how; had responded and had come back. And now, here he was.

"I know you're awake," said Harry's voice from behind.

Severus took a deep breath and he gathered his courage, steeling himself before turning around to face him.

Harry was sitting on his chair. His hair was more tousled than usual and his eyes looked more tired than before, but his soft smile was exactly the same one it had been. The same one he had given him every single day, the same smile that made Severus feel warm inside.

"How are you feeling?" Harry asked.

Severus moved his head.

"Better," he replied.

Severus stretched his arm, reaching for him. Harry leaned forward, grabbing his hand and holding it, and Severus squeezed his hand in his.

"Thank you, Harry… I… am grateful for what you've done," he began.

He then swallowed, trying to come up with the words for what he wanted to say, needed to say.

"I'm sorry you feel I'm behaving inconsistently… I assure you, it isn't my intention," he said. "I am… unaccustomed to having someone to rely on, someone to look after me the way that you do."

Harry smiled, but his smile didn't reach his eyes. Severus wanted to say much more, but he didn't know how, and he finally closed his mouth.

His gaze lowered.

"I think I understand why you feel like this, Severus," Harry said, "it's what we were saying the other day. You have been so hurt by everyone that your body responds by lashing out and pushing me away. But remember that I'm not here to hurt you. I'm here to help you."

Severus shook his head and squeezed Harry's hand.

"I know," he replied, his voice a whisper, "I know that. But my memories… they tell a different story."

Harry then leaned even closer, their faces inches away from each other. Very gently, Harry's fingers stroked his black strands of hair, pushing the hair away behind his ear. Severus shivered at the contact, the warm fingertips stroking his stubbly, the index finger tracing his jawline. Harry's eyes were warm and twinkling, and his lips were drawn into a small smile.

"Then we will create new memories," Harry said, "memories that tell you the story of how you are not alone in this world, despite what you have believed your entire life. And how you and I, no matter how our history has pushed us away, are bound."

Severus felt his throat clogging and he tried to swallow, Harry's words travelling straight to his wounded heart.

"I know it sounds weird, but I do believe we are here, together, for a reason," Harry said.

Harry's hand went from his cheek to the base of his neck, gently stroking the hair, being mindful of Severus's bandages. Severus could only look at his eyes, hypnotized by the fire in them.

"And if fate… pulled us away from each other?" Severus asked, his only a mere whisper.

Harry then pressed his forehead to him, and Severus closed his eyes, breathing in Harry's scent of ink and parchment.

"If it does, I will fight against fate," Harry said, "I did it once, I can do it again. But I will not give up on you, ever again."

Severus's heart began to bleed, but not in pain, as it had been so used to doing.

No, this time it was of relief, of finally someone seeing him for what he was, for who he was, and still choosing to be with him. He blinked tears away, feeling his throat still clogged up, as he nodded and squeezed Harry's hand.

He had no words to convey the amount of gratitude he was feeling, but Harry seemed to understand, judging by the smile on his lips.

"You spent your life protecting me, and I know you will still want to protect me, it's just who you are," Harry said. "But now it's my turn to protect you and look after you. Yeah?"

Severus tried to swallow hard, blinking, and he squeezed Harry's hand. Harry squeezed back as he nuzzled his nose, gently.

"You heard Poppy. She will explain some things we can do, and I will ask Hermione about it too," he said, "you won't have to worry about anything. I won't let anyone hurt you like that."

And for the first time in decades, Severus sighed, believing that Harry was right. He wasn't alone now.

That night Harry didn't want to leave Severus alone. He stretched the moment he would have to go for as long as he could. He had dinner with him and entertained him, chatting about this and that, until Pomfrey retired for bed and advised Harry to do the same.

What was even more heartwarming for Harry was Severus's reaction.

He never said one word. He sat on the bed with his back against the pillows while Harry's elbows were on the mattress, leaning forward so he could be closer to him. When Harry snapped his fingers and almost all the candles extinguished, and when he took out some of the pillows under his back, Severus's bony and cold hand blindly looked for Harry's.

He grabbed it tightly, and Harry smiled as his thumb traced soothing patterns on the back of the hand.

"It's okay. I can stay until you fall asleep," he whispered.

The sun was setting on the Hogwarts castle, the light coming from the large windows painting a warm canvas across Severus's face. His usually sharp features softened under the golden light, and for a moment, the lines of pain and weariness seemed to fade away as he looked gratefully at Harry.

The few remaining candles flickered, casting a soft, rhythmic dance of shadows on the walls. In this tranquil moment, with the sunset light touching their skin, they locked eyes onto each other. Severus breathed out as he sank deeper into bed, closing his eyes. He squeezed Harry's hand, and he squeezed back.

While Severus breathed, his mind taking him where he could rest, Harry's mind was a whirlwind of thoughts and emotions of the trying day Severus had had. His now even breathing, deepening with each passing moment, was a stark contrast to the way Severus had whimpered and sobbed that day. Clinging to Harry, his frustration and need practically palpable.

But Harry was pleased that, after the awful therapy session, Severus had collected himself. And it had brought them to an even better place, where Severus now did not doubt Harry's presence in his life.

Harry had been thinking about it for a long time, not knowing where the line was with Severus, not knowing when his displays of affection would be too much. It turned out, then, that Severus actually not only wanted but needed that affection as much as he wanted to give it to him.

It was weird but, in some odd way, it made sense to Harry's mind. After all the pain and suffering Severus had had in his life, after all the betrayals he'd had to endure… why would Harry be different? Why would he trust him?

And yet, he did.

Harry remembered the moment he'd stepped outside of the Hospital Wing after Severus had requested he leave him alone. The moment he started to walk, something called him, something inside of him urged him back.

And when he'd turned the corner, he hadn't even reached the stairs when that magic began blaring inside his head, urging him, no demanding that he returned to the Hospital Wing.

When he did, when he opened the door and rushed to Severus's bed, his soul fell at his feet. Seeing Severus curl up against himself, his back completely rounded, and hearing his sobs. Not just whimpers, sobs.

A dagger went through Harry's heart, making it bleed, when he saw just how much in pain Severus truly was.

Harry remembered how Severus had looked after his conversation with Pomfrey. How vulnerable he'd been, how his demeanour had changed drastically.

And Harry had promised to protect him.

Severus had been the protector all his life. As a Professor at Hogwarts, he bowed to keep all the students safe. And he had sworn he would keep Harry safe.

Now, it was his turn to be protected. Now, it was Harry's duty and desire to give him everything that had been denied to him for so long, so long he hadn't even realized he needed it.

Harry's eyes focused on Severus, on the gentle rise and fall of his chest as he breathed. On his lips slightly parted, on his hair falling onto the pillow elegantly all around his face, the raven black contrasting with the white of the bedsheets. And Harry smiled as he saw him finally relaxing.

He slowly extricated his hand from Severus's, being extremely cautious not to wake him up. He then leaned forward, nuzzling his forehead, and then pressed a kiss onto the skin.

"Good night, Severus," he whispered into the night.

He then blew out the rest of the candles, leaving the room in the darkness, as he walked to the Gryffindor tower.

.

.

Notes:

WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO what did you think? How could the therapist be so awful?
But Sevvv accepting he needs Harry, and not understanding his own behaviour! Ahhh!

Did you like it? Is there anything you'd like to see incorporated, any predictions for future chapters? Let me know in the comments!