Enjoy a Christmas gift form me, everyone.
Note: Canon is very questionable here. Assume this is semi non-canon unless otherwise stated.
Christmas Omake
Christmas. A time of magic and wonder for everyone, with different interpretations by every culture that knows of it. It was a universal holiday, one everyone celebrated how they could. Even Chaldea proved to be no exception. Despite numerous tragedies and the looming stress of the end of humanity hanging above everyone's heads, people still celebrated how they could. Or rather, they celebrated because that was the only productive thing they could really do about it in the end.
Thankfully, the Chaldea Security Organization had been generously funded by both the Animusphere families and contributions from the Clock Tower, Atlas, and the United Nations. Most were dedicated toward its cutting edge, experimental technologies, but that still left a good amount allocated toward other resources such as recreation and entertainment. Even things that normally were for work purposes could be repurposed for such with a bit of tweaking and imagination.
Humanity's quest to entertain itself and seek pleasure was endless, after all.
The simulator sitting in the heart of Chaldea was one of the state-of-the-art technologies of the organization. Connected directly to the organization's extensive databases, it could be used to recreate far more variables and factors to a frighteningly accurate degree. From landscapes with artificial weather to monsters and hostile beings that have been recorded, to even simulations of Servants based on their battle data, almost nothing was beyond it. Normally, it was used to run various simulations for data or for training, but such technology had far too much potential to simply be relegated to such mundane uses.
Ren sighed as he rested his head against the stone, a towel cushioning his skull. The steaming hot water around him was beyond soothing. He could practically feel the months' worth of tension just melting away. The gentle knocking of the bamboo pipe slowly filling with water, then tipping over to empty what it accumulated before rising back up to collect more was hypnotic, almost enough to lull him to sleep.
Honestly, he didn't think it would be possible. He had been conversing with Mash and Ritsu that, while showers were nice and all, they just couldn't compare to a full-on bath. Nero's bath was nice, but it just wasn't enough. Da Vinci, who had been passing by, overheard and said that they could simply adjust the simulator to make it into a bath. Despite everything he had seen so far, Ren had been skeptical she was actually able to do it.
He really needed to remember not to underestimate the self-proclaimed (yet actual) genius.
"Ah, this is heaven."
Ren glanced over in amusement at Morgana, sitting in the water nearby. Despite his initial reluctance to join Ren in the bath, he eventually persuaded his best friend. Now the catlike being was sitting with his eyes closed beside him on a small wooden stool to keep his head out of the water, a soaked, folded towel on his head.
"I can see why you and Ryuji go crazy for these," he commented as he further sank. "This is bliss." The water around him rippled as he began purring – an amusing sight for Ren.
"Despite the fuss you were kicking up before?" Ren asked with a smirk. "Something about 'cats aren't supposed to go in water'?"
Morgana spluttered. "Th-that was- uh," he stuttered. "I j-just didn't want to get my f-fur in the b-bath, okay? I can e-end up shedding and b-besides, cats and water don't actually get along – can you stop laughing?!"
Ren had been chuckling the entire time as his best friend kept trying to make excuses. "Just glad you can enjoy the bath like the rest of us," he replied, forestalling any more of his excuses. "We probably can't do this once we get back to Japan, so we might as well enjoy it while we can."
The catlike being relaxed and sighed. "Yeah, true," he grumbled. "But hey, this is still pretty nice overall."
"Yo!"
The two glanced over and saw Cu and Siegfried walking in. "Heard there was a bath going on here!" the Lancer called out. "Thought we'd join in!"
"I apologize for our intrusion," Siegfried said, smiling sheepishly. "I hope you don't mind the company."
The Phantom Thieves looked at each other, then grinned back up at them. "Not at all," Ren reassured them. "Hop on in – the water's great."
Cu grinned as Siegfried simply bowed a bit in gratitude. They washed themselves off before slowly entering the bath. "Damn, this is hot as hell," Cu groused. Before long, he was fully in the bath. "Ah, this is good stuff," he sighed, stretching. "Been meaning to see what the fuss has been about for a while now."
Siegfried nodded. His long, grey hair had been tied back to prevent it from getting into the water. The loose strands most likely wouldn't be an issue given how there was no problem with Morgana's fur but it was still an inconvenient thing to deal with overall for most people. "It is quite comfy," he noted. "Far better than washing in streams and rivers."
Ren glanced over at the both of them. "Did you guys not have baths where you were from?" he asked out of curiosity.
The Lancer shrugged. "I mean, sure, but they were a luxury," he explained. "You gotta have a huge tub and a lotta water, then you gotta heat it up just right with lots of wood and fire. In short, it's a pain in the ass and uses a lot more resources than you'd think. Most of the time, a dip in a stream works just as well. It's only the lords and kings who could regularly have baths. The occasional village had bathhouses, though they became rather popular with guys, if you get what I mean."
The Phantom Thief nodded in consideration. As he recalled, even in Japan, bathhouses could sometimes be fronts for seedier businesses, especially in red light districts. It didn't particularly surprise him. Rather, the more he talked to Servants and learned about their cultures, the more he found in common. It seemed humanity had a habit of staying the same, for better or worse. And also found a lot of common ground, surprisingly. "What about you?" he asked Siegfried.
The dragonslayer frowned as he pondered. "Most of the time I washed up in streams and rivers," he mused. "However, we did have saunas. They weren't large – usually just small huts, lit within by lanterns, and filled with hot rocks that we had sitting in fires. They were good places to sweat and relax, and good meeting spots too. It would be nice to try one again sometime."
Morgana chuckled. "Remember that one time you went to the sauna with the guys, Ren?" he asked, glancing up at his best friend. Ren in turn chuckled. Him, Ryuji, and Yusuke had been out one day when they came across a bath with a sauna and decided to check it out. The heat from the sauna had been far greater than they had anticipated. Ryuji bailed after about ten minutes, roaring about how hot it was. Ren stumbled out another ten minutes later. Then they had to drag Yusuke out who had been turning red from the heat, muttering deliriously about how he was close to reaching 'ideal beauty'.
The fact that he resembled a boiled lobster at that point was probably a coincidence.
"Holy crap, Da Vinci went all out!"
The men, hearing Ritsu's voice, glanced over at the bamboo barrier that stretched up to the dark, starry sky. The simulated hot spring was divided in half by the barrier, with men on one side, women on the other. The barrier had been a last-minute addition at Roman's extreme insistence. In retrospect it should've been surprising – according to the doctor, Da Vinci had no problem going about naked after showering.
When asked how he knew about this, however, the good doctor stammered an excuse and dashed off. Nobody could pin him down long enough to get an explanation.
"Yes, it is certainly impressive," came Mash's voice. "I wonder if Ren-senpai goes to these kinds of baths all the time…"
"If he does, I'm jealous," Ritsu grumbled. "The US has nothing like this. Doesn't help that everyone's so prudish there or any actual bathhouses aren't meant for, uh, good little girls like me."
"Er, what does that mean, senpai?" Mash asked, curious.
"Don't ask," was Ritsu's disgruntled reply.
"Japan has these kinds of baths everywhere," Ren called out. The girls' conversation immediately froze at his voice. "It's actually pretty convenient for me – LeBlanc didn't have a shower but there was a bath literally just across the road."
"R-Ren-senpai?!" Mash stammered. "I didn't realize you were here! R-R-Ritsu-senpai, what are you doing?!"
"Whaaaat?" came Ritsu's dubiously innocent reply. "I'm not doing anything! You're worrying too much!" This was followed by the redhead hissing, "Shh! Don't get me busted!" as sounds of rattling issued from the girls' side of the bath.
Morgana sighed and opened one eye. "Ritsu, are you trying to peek into the guys' bath?" he asked in a deadpan tone.
The rattling stopped at the accusation. "Noooo…" Ritsu replied in a tone that fooled pretty much no one – not even Mash judging by her audible sigh.
Cu started howling with laughter. "Hey, gotta respect a girl for knowing what she wants," he cried. "I getcha. Too bad, miss – you're missing quite the sight here!"
Ritsu groaned in frustration. "Well, who's over there?!" she demanded. "Besides you and Ren?!"
"Ritsu-senpai, please-!" Mash pleaded.
"There's also Siegfried and Morgana here!" Ren called out, glancing at the others. "Not sure if anyone else is gonna join us soon but yeah, it's the four of us! What about you guys?"
"It's just me and Ritsu-senpai for now, Ren-senpai!" Mash called back over before Ritsu could say anything. "I'm really sorry for disturbing your bath! We'll be sure to be quiet-!" Any further conversation or reassurances on the matter was interrupted by a clattering from their side of the bath.
"Oh my, this bath is simply tres bien! A perfect mix of rustic charm yet elegance!"
"Umu! It is no Roman bath, certainly, but this is still splendid nevertheless! Even more so now that I am here!"
The voices of Marie and Nero were unmistakable. As the new arrivals seized the girls' attention, Cu stretched before getting out of the water. "This bath just ain't right without a drink or two," he grumbled. "Luckily, I came prepared. Got some whiskey stashed. Yo, Siegfried, you wanna join me?"
Siegfried blinked in surprise, then smiled. "That does sound enjoyable," he agreed.
Cu grinned as he got out of the spring. "Alright then!" he crowed. He glanced down at the Phantom Thieves. "Don't worry, I didn't forget you two. I got some green tea bottles and water bottles. Which do you guys want?"
Ren considered for a second, then nodded. "Green tea sounds good for me," he said.
"Same for me too," Morgana piped up. The Lancer grinned as walked off to retrieve the drinks, leaving the rest to simply relax in the water. Despite all the commotion, it was still a relaxing time overall. Still, they couldn't exactly stop themselves from overhearing the conversation over on the girls' baths, given how open it was.
"Holy crap, I know I've been calling you Mashumallow all this time, but you're stacked!"
"Oui, she is surprisingly curvy now that I look at it."
"Let us compare then, Mash Kyrielight! My form, gifted by the goddess Venus herself, against your bounty!"
"W-wait, please don't touch-ah!"
Morgana glanced out of the side of his eye at Ren. "You holding up okay there, Ren?" he asked knowingly. Ren, however, had already crossed his legs and closed his eyes, seemingly unaware of anything. The catlike being could only huffed an amused breath.
Siegfried in the meantime glanced over at Ren in curiosity. "I did not realize he has mastered the art of mediation," he observed, impressed. "A good skill to have for more dire situations."
The catlike being opened an eye. "So, you'd count this as a dire situation then?" he asked with a smirk.
The dragonslayer chuckled in response. "I would certainly say so," he agreed. Both of them laughed as Ren simply stayed there with an empty mind and pure heart. The sounds from the girls' side of the bath were rowdy and suggestive, but Ren knew none of it.
Stretching, Ren made his way towards the cafeteria. His body still felt pleasantly warm from the bath – albeit almost too warm thanks to the time he spent in the bath. He put himself into a state of meditation until the girls had either finally settled down or left, then left the bath himself. It was a shame he couldn't enjoy the sensation of the bath a bit longer before he forced himself to meditate, but there was always next time.
Casually, he glanced outside at the stormy weather outside the blizzard kept blowing. While he always liked a white Christmas, this was a bit too intense. Back in his hometown, almost without fail, snow would always fall and carpet everything. When he was younger, he used to make snowmen or have snowball fights with his friends when he went out. In Tokyo, while snow fell, it never stuck. Or at least, it never stuck long enough for it to really matter.
Still, the time he spent Christmas in LeBlanc was perhaps one of the best Christmases he had in a while. Sure, it was just him, Sojiro, and Futaba, but frankly he wouldn't have changed it for anything. He stepped into the cafeteria and walked past the snowflakes that drifted-
Snowflakes?
The Phantom Thief stopped as he looked around puzzled. There was snow but… it didn't feel like anything. Stretching out a hand, he saw one land on his hand, then fade away. He noticed in the corner one of Chaldea's robots standing there with a projector light flashing from its top. Huh. Those robots always surprised him – holograms weren't a thing he thought they were capable of.
"Buon Natale, ragazzo!"
Ren glanced over to see Da Vinci prancing her way over to him. She was dressed in a modified Santa outfit, with the top short enough to show her navel while wearing a red skirt that reached down to the middle of her thigh. All of that was topped off by the Santa hat perched on her head. He grinned in response. "Merry Christmas to you too, Da Vinci," he replied. "I take it this is your work?"
Da Vinci grinned and nodded. "Si," she confirmed. "The normal décor was a bit too drab for the festivities so I thought I could spice it up a bit! I was actually making a few last adjustments to truly top things off."
"Oh?" Ren asked, his curiosity piqued. "And what would that be?"
The Uomo Universale grinned. Instead of answering, she took out a remote and pressed a button. Another robot moved to the center of the cafeteria and turned on its own projector, and suddenly a new, incredibly bright hologram appeared: A fully adorned Christmas tree, complete with a shining star at the top of it. It was more tall than wide so it wouldn't disturb the tables around it, but it was still an impressive sight nevertheless.
Ren could only let out a low whistle. "You really outdone yourself, Da Vinci," he earnestly complimented.
The Caster giggled. "It's only expected of a genius, after all!"
"Holy-!"
"Night, my dear ragazza," Da Vinci finished for her as they both turned to look at the new arrivals: Morgana, Mash, and Ritsu, all of them looking around the cafeteria in wonder. Morgana had returned back to his cat form, surprisingly. "You two came just as I was putting on the finishing touches. Buon Natale, everyone!"
"Buon-" Ritsu was about to ask.
"It means 'Merry Christmas' in Italian, Ritsu-senpai," Mash supplied. Ritsu nodded in understanding.
"Where's everyone else?" Ren asked, looking around.
"The other Servants hit the baths as well," Morgana replied. "I guess we were just early about it. They'll probably be here soon enough or at least out and about."
Ren pondered, then nodded. "In that case, no time like the present," he replied. "Let's see if I can whip something up for us."
"More curry?" Mash asked eagerly.
"Actually, something else," Ren replied, smiling apologetically as the poor shielder deflated. "I just need to check in the back and see if we have the supplies for it. I think we do, but better safe than sorry. I'll be right back, guys." With that, he walked off to the storeroom to search for his quarry.
"Looking for something in particular?"
Ren blinked as he glanced down to see Morgana had followed him. He smiled as he nodded in confirmation. "Wanted to see if they had any turkey or cake and see what else can go with it," he explained.
Morgana nodded sagely. "Ah, the LeBlanc tradition, huh?" he mused.
Chuckling, Ren began walking towards the meat storage. "I'm not sure if I'd call one year a tradition," he commented. Last year, Sojiro gave them some money to grab some stuff and had apparently expected a sparse Christmas overall. However, Futaba apparently won some sort of lottery in the supermarket, and they walked back with a veritable feast of roast turkey, cake, and other foods and snacks. The girl was apparently incredibly lucky at times.
In the end, it was just the four of them in LeBlanc celebrating Christmas. No flash, bells, or whistles, but just good company overall. And it was perhaps the most memorable and happiest Christmas he ever had.
Opening the storage, he moved past the racks of beef and pork, making his way to the poultry. There were shelves of chicken wings, legs, and even whole chickens lined up. A bit further was the turkey section, filled with legs and sliced breasts – and of course, whole turkeys. What caught Ren slightly off guard was how large the turkeys were. He certainly didn't recall the turkey he had back in Tokyo to be quite so big.
"Er… you gonna be alright, Ren?" Morgana asked incredulously, staring at the poultry that was easily larger than he was.
Ren frowned as he rubbed his chin, then nodded. "Should be alright," he replied. "Think I got some way to pull up a recipe here." Worst case scenario, he could snag either Boudica or Archer for help. However, they were busy enjoying the hot springs and he wasn't in the mood to drag them away. With a grunt, he hefted up the turkey and carried it out of the meat storage to the kitchen, setting it down on the cutting board. There was a panel on the wall meant for communications, but Ren had figured out long ago it could access the archives, which included food recipes.
At this point, Ren had to question just how much the archives encompassed but frankly, he wasn't about to question it.
"Um, so do you need any help, senpai?"
Ren glanced over to see both Mash and Ritsu staring from the other side of the counter with eyes as wide as saucers. It was clear they hadn't expected the whole turkey either. Da Vinci had disappeared. He was about to refuse their help when he thought better of it. The turkey was massive, and it was also his first time cooking it. Frankly, having some extra hands probably wouldn't go amiss. "Some help would be good," Ren admitted with a smile. "I already have the recipe pulled up."
The two girls nodded and came into the kitchen – Ritsu practically bouncing in to help compared to Mash's more sedate pace. "The recipe is pretty simple overall but there's no reason why we can't do a bit more," Ren explained, scrolling through the recipes. "Ritsu, can I ask you to take care of the herb butter and work on the stuffing? Mash, chop up some veggies. We can set it underneath the turkey. I'll get to work prepping it."
Ritsu grinned and nodded. "Leave it to me!" she chirped. She quickly looked over at the recipe for her own steps before heading off to the storeroom herself.
Mash nodded. "Of course, Ren-senpai," she replied before heading to the back herself.
Morgana, who perched nearby, watched them head off and chuckled. "They're pretty eager to help," he noted. "They're good people."
Ren smiled. "Preaching to the choir," he replied, going to wash his hands.
Before long, all of them had their materials and were working, with Ren prepping the turkey as necessary and Ritsu and Mash with their own tasks. Frankly, it had been a lot easier than Ren expected as it was a rather simple matter of taking out the giblets and drying the turkey. Ritsu soon had the herb butter for him – it hadn't been difficult for her either – and he slathered it on the turkey. Now it was a matter of waiting until Ritsu and Mash were done with the stuffing and vegetables, respectively.
Glancing over, he checked on how they were doing. Ritsu seemed to be doing just fine, humming to herself as she worked on the stuffing while consulting the recipe at her own station. Mash, however, seemed to be struggling with properly cutting up the vegetables. Washing off the turkey grease and residue from his hands, he walked over to her workstation. "You doing alright, Mash?" he asked, glancing down at her work. The vegetables were chopped cleanly but unevenly, and while it wasn't too bad, it was simply more inefficient than anything.
The shielder glanced up, blinking, and nodded. "Oh, um, yes, senpai!" she replied. "I'm sorry for taking so long. I didn't expect it to be so difficult cutting these up. These should be done soon."
Ren nodded understandingly. "Not a problem," he said earnestly. "Mind if I show you a few pointers though? It might help things go by a bit more smoothly."
Mash blinked again, then nodded eagerly. "Yes, senpai!" she replied enthusiastically.
The Phantom Thief grinned and moved a bit closer. "So first off, you're gonna want to hold the vegetables in your off hand like this," he explained. Reaching over, he curled Mash's fingers inward. "Do it like this – a cat's paw - or you're going to cut your fingers. After that, position your knife so you can bring it down like a lever. There. Give that a shot."
The girl's face had lit up like one of the Christmas ornaments outside in the cafeteria into a bright shade of red at Ren's touch and close proximity but listened intently to Ren's instructions regardless. After Ren withdrew his hands, she focused once more and began working according to his instruction. To her delight, it went a lot more smoothly – and she didn't have to concern herself with cutting her fingers. "This is much better!" Mash said with delight. "Thank you very much, senpai!"
Ren smiled and nodded. "Had a lot of practice – and cut fingers – to show for it," he replied. "Still, thanks a lot for helping, Mash. It means a lot."
The shielder once more turned a shade of deep crimson, focusing once more on the vegetables to hide her embarrassment – and the smile that spread uncontrollably on her face. "It's nothing, senpai," she muttered. "I'm always happy to help."
Smiling in response, he left Mash to continue chopping up the vegetables as he wandered over to Ritsu – who was smirking up a storm as she watched him walk up. "… what?" he asked.
"As expected of a Phantom Thief – and a hunk of a one at that~" the redhead commented as her smirk widened. Morgana nearby simply chuckled in agreement with the other Master's assessment.
Ren raised an eyebrow, then noticed her chopping. "Hm, seems like you could do with some lessons too," he commented. Without prompting, he reached over and adjusted her hands, making sure she stayed safe. Ritsu, meanwhile, began spluttering at the suddenness of it all, but before she could react, he was already done. "And you're set," he finished with a grin.
Ritsu took a deep breath and smirked up at him, unable to suppress the blush in her cheeks. "Should've expected you to be so daring. But aren't you getting greedy, going for both of us at once?"
The Phantom Thief simply smirked. "I've no idea what you mean – I'm just making sure two beauties don't hurt themselves is all," he replied, feigning innocence – and chuckled as both Mash and Ritsu immediately began spluttering in response.
Morgana thought back to how the girls always ended up thrown off-guard from some odd comment of Ren's and had to shake his head with a smile. Some things never change.
Before long, they were all done. The turkey was stuffed and set on a bed of vegetables in a baking pan before being pushed into the oven. Ren also decided to make his standard curry and rice as well to help fill in some gaps. Desserts were pulled out from the back and set on the counter for when they were ready. With a few minutes left before the turkey was ready, they decided to play at the counter a time-honored game: Tycoon.
"Four tens," Ren declared with a smirk. "Revolution."
"Wha- Oh, come on!" Ritsu roared, grasping her head in frustration.
"Dang it, Ren, how do you always pull off something like this?!" Morgana shouted. "This was always the case back in Tokyo! Jeez, we could never get one up on you-"
"Um… four sevens," Mash interjected, laying down her hand. "Revolution, I think?"
The Phantom Thief's face immediately fell at the reversal. Ritsu and Morgana both stared at what Mash did before the former began cackling in delight. "Nice going, Mashumallow!" she cheered. "I'm gonna have to pass for now, but I think you just lost the game for your dear senpai here."
Ren smiled at Mash, but it was a very pained smile. "Yep, you did," he replied. "Good job, Mash – there's no way I can recover from this."
The shielder blinked then bowed. "I-I'm sorry, senpai," she immediately stammered. "I, er, thought it was a good hand, so I-"
"Oh, don't apologize," Morgana admonished. "It's the point of the game, after all. Besides, Ren could use some more experience losing here."
"Wha- Morgana, you wound me!" Ren gasped in faux offense, bringing a hand over his heart. "You make it sound like I'm a sore winner! I assure you, I'm the very spirit of sportsmanship!"
His statement was met with a very flat look from Ritsu and Morgana as Mash attempted to bury her face in her cards to prevent showing her own reaction. That honestly told him all he needed to know, enough that he couldn't help but break out into an amused grin. Fine, he did at times rub it in a bit with a smirk or two or acted like an exaggerated rich asshole whenever he got Tycoon, but it was all in good fun.
Suddenly, the oven dinged, letting them know the turkey was ready. Setting down the cards, Ren got up and went back into the kitchen, followed eagerly by the three. Opening the oven door, the kitchen was immediately suffused with a heavenly scent of a perfectly baked turkey, mixing with the spicy aroma of the curry and leaving every almost drooling. "The turkey needs to rest for a bit," Ren explained as he set it on the kitchen counter. "That way the juices will spread evenly throughout."
Ritsu groaned in frustration. "Damnit, we are so close!" she whined.
"Let's defer to Ren-senpai about this," Mash advised, even though she had her eyes trained greedily on poultry as well. "I'm sure the wait will be worth it."
The redhead huffed before glancing back over at Ren. "Still, I'm kinda surprised you pulled this out," she commented. "Did you and your family celebrate Christmas with a turkey every year or something?"
Ren didn't answer for a second, then gave a small, wistful smile. "Something like that," he replied. "When I was in Tokyo, my caretaker, Sojiro, and his daughter, Futaba, – another Phantom Thief, by the way –" Ritsu squealed in excitement. "- Morgana and I celebrated Christmas together. Futaba won a lottery when we went to the grocery store to pick up some stuff, and we got ourselves turkey, cake, and all sorts of other goodies for Christmas."
He glanced over at the turkey resting on the counter. "It's a tradition of one year, admittedly," Ren continued. "But I'd like it to be a tradition every year, if possible."
Ritsu nodded slowly. "We didn't have much of a tradition back where I was from for Christmas," she murmured. "We just made a helluva feast, finishing off with bowls full of cookies. Afterward, we'd put on some movies to watch. At first it was Christmas movies but those got old real fast. One of the staff suggested an entire extended Lord of the Rings marathon, and the rest was history."
Morgana blinked. "Wait, aren't those movies, like, a whole fifteen hours total?" he asked in shock.
The redhead nodded. "More or less," she confirmed. "Best fifteen hours ever."
Ren nodded in understanding, then looked over at Mash. "What about you, Mash?" he asked, leaning up against a counter. "Any traditions you had?"
Mash blinked in surprise and thought. "Erm… none in particular," she murmured. "I often just spent Christmas in my room. Roman always stopped by on Christmas day. He'd bring some special food from the cafeteria – ham or turkey, as well as corn and gingerbread cookies, and hot chocolate as well. We ate together as he explained Christmas to me. As much as he could, anyway. And he'd always give me a book as a gift. The copy of Sherlock Holmes he gave me two years ago is still my favorite."
She looked up and saw the other three just… staring at her. Ritsu was first to break the silence, immediately tackling her into a hug. "MASHUMALLOW!" she cried. "You deserve so much better! The doctor did his best, but you deserve better! You need it! We're gonna make this the best Christmas for you EVER!"
The shielder could only blink in surprise at the hug and blushed. "O-oh, it's quite alright, R-Ritsu-senpai!" she stammered. "You don't need t-to go out of your way to-"
"Give it up, Mash," Morgana sighed nearby. "You know how she gets. Once Ritsu's set on something, you're better off convincing Hell to freeze over." Ren had to chuckle in response.
"Oi, something smells good here!"
Ren glanced over and saw Cu walking in with a wave. "Hope you got enough for me AND everyone!" he hollered. "The way this place smells, we're gonna have a horde incoming!"
Ren blinked in surprise, then remembered Artoria's… voracious appetite combined with everyone else. Then he jumped as Archer appeared in a shower of golden light beside him with a smile. "Then best we get to work," he stated matter-of-factly before smiling at the others. "Do you guys want to give a hand, or do you want to take a break? You guys did a good job already."
Ren, Ritsu, and Mash looked at each other for a second, then nodded. "Let's get to work, Archer," Ren declared with a grin.
The red-mantled hero nodded with a smile, and they immediately set to work. Before long, they were working like a well-oiled machine as more Servants and staff filed in, marveling at the decorations and drooling over the smell. Turkeys were made, cakes were cut, and curry and coffee were distributed. Before long, the entire cafeteria was packed with people, all of them caroling, celebrating, and eating.
And through it all, Ren simply watched. Morgana was with Tamamo Cat as he told her of his past escapades. Ritsu and Mash were chatting and eating. Archer was still cooking but with Boudica's assistance, no longer required help from him. He just stood in a corner, watching everyone enjoying themselves. Then he blinked, and he was back at LeBlanc with familiar faces.
"Hey, whatcha standing there in a daze for?" Ryuji called out. "Come on, there's turkey to demolish!"
"Ugh, Ryuji!" groaned Ann. "At least leave the cakes alone!"
Makoto could only sigh. "Could you two please behave for five minutes?" she asked, exasperated.
"Yes, do restrain yourself," Yusuke admonished as he rapidly drew on his sketchpad. "As famished as I am, I must capture this scene and the spirit of the festivities."
"Why are you always so weird, Inari?" Futaba commented, rolling her eyes.
"I do not wish to hear that from you, Futaba."
"I must admit, I had thought of Christmas parties as rather dull affairs, meeting with company officials and all," Haru noted. "But this is rather fun! I must thank you for inviting me!"
"Same here," Sumire noted with a smile. "This all looks delicious. I'll have to work extra hard once we're done, but it will be worth it."
Then Ren felt a tug on his sleeve, and he looked over to see Morgana. "Come on, Joker," he said gently. "You deserve a break. Merry Christmas."
Ren blinked, and suddenly he was back at Chaldea. Ritsu and Mash were also calling him over with grins on their faces before being joined by Nero and Marie. Cu was nearby leading some Irish drinking song, which Siegfried, Da Vinci, and even Roman had surprisingly joined in on as well. Jeanne and Marie were leading some prayers among the more religious members in a corner as Artoria was sitting among a gigantic stack of empty plates like the throne of a conqueror.
The Phantom Thief had to smile. It all felt so different, yet it felt the same somehow. And he wouldn't trade it in for anything. "Yeah," he replied. "Merry Christmas to you too, Morgana."
With that, he joined the others. It was truly a Christmas to remember.
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/yh7UrTGt