Lady Palutena farted several loud deep pitched tuba poots to The Flintstones theme song as she smirked, placing her hands on her fart filled hips. "What, you didn't expect me to fart in this grand retelling of a epic tale?"
Ness burped loudly as he giggled with glee, spinning around in her chair as she held his hands together. "Whoo! I'm so happy that our team is gonna get another chance to shine! Maybe losers will stop comparing me to that weird skeleton guy with a blue coat who likes making puns!"
Toadette sipped on some grape soda as she brushed back her pink pigtails. "I dunno how to feel about this... on one hand, it's the old gang together again... but on the other hand, can't we do something new?"
Tiny Kong farted up a bassy storm of brassy flatulence as she smirked while pulling up her brown stained sweatpants. "Hey, if it means I get more fetish stuff of myself made, I'm all for it! Especially if it means I get to be gassy, because as you can see, my name may be tiny, but my body isn't!"
Fox McCloud simply had his right hand on his face, shaking his head in disbelief. "Did they not learn from New Super Mario Bros. that reboots, remakes, and rehashes are a bad idea...?" he said this while holding a copy of Star Fox Zero in his left hand to further solidify his point.
Toon Link casually shrugged as he was trying a pair of shorts he got from Hot Topic. "I don't know what Lucas sees in these clothes..." He admitted, since he was used to wearing various different outfits.
Aria Meloetta played around with a carton full of vanilla icing as she glanced up, gasping upon noticing the camera as a portion of vanilla icing fell off one of her paddle shaped hands. "Oh, are we on? Well, hi world, I didn't get a chance to shine in the first edition of the Cute Toot House, but-"
Doc Brown was reading through the script as he shook his head, turning to the camera in disappointment. "I fear that this is going to go down the same road as the original version of this story... of which I can say, let's hope it doesn't happen." He muttered, knowing that this wouldn't end or continue well.
"So..." Lady Palutena stated with a huge fart as she turned to a group of corespondents, smiling as she held her hands together, having presented the Cute Toot House idea to them in full. "How do you like it?"
The correspondents all looked at each other as they murmured, then turned to face Palutena, the gassy green goddess blowing back her big green hair with her enormous flatulence.
"Terrible. Sounds like another cash grabbing tactic, only this doesn't even involve money," Dry Bowser commented as he brushed back his red hair, shaking his skull.
Lady Palutena farted loudly as she laughed, fanning the air with her right hand as she was in a room with some of her fellow teammates within the House of Cute Toots. "Oh my! That fart was really stinky!" She then let out a bassier fart as she blushed from how rotten her fart gas stunk. "And that one was stinkier! Whoowee!"
"...Must you always fart, Pal?" Princess Zelda remarked in annoyance as she placed her hands on her hips, getting sick of the gassy Goddess of Light's antics as she felt like she was getting dizzy from the bad smelling farts clouding up The Room.
Palutena nodded as she lowered her leg, moving her hands around. "Yes! It's an awesome thing to do, and more importantly, it's the reason why the Cute Toot House has its name!" She then farted again, her toot being as high pitched as the previous gas blast, only for her to frown as she pondered something deep. "Hold on... this seems too familiar..."
"What did she mean by this?" Silver The Hedgehog asked curiously while brushing back his quills, with Zelda shrugging in response as he couldn't read Palutena's thoughts.
Mario was munching on some hot sexy french fries he got from McDonald's, blinking as he looked up at Palutena. "So, what's the score Flatutena? What the hell are we to do?"
"This is a meeting... that we need to steal the hot pockets from the Hot Topic Krew!" Palutena stated as she slammed her right fist on the table, causing her hair to briefly be blown back somehow. "Those emo jerks are doing it for free! They're like janitors on an anonymous image board! Or a weird looking yellow cartoon dog in glasses wearing those cleaning clothes from that one shitty educational show that's been running for far too long!" She then let out a fart after finishing her rant.
"...Sounds ridiculous. I don't like this idea." Lucario interjected as he was in the middle of meditating, trying not to let Palutena's farts get to him as he wished that he could be with Bowser, who he had a lot of enjoyable times with, deciding to put on a cowboy hat to help him concentrate more.
Palutena smirked as she farted again, this time her flatulent outburst being deep pitched and brassy, with the other four members looking at each other in dismay. After a couple of seconds, the smile faded away on the goddess, replaced with a concerned frown, for something was off. Zelda, Mario, Lucario, and Silver all exchanged glances of confusion at each other as Palutena realized what went wrong, slapping her hands on her face and gasping.
"It's another reboot or retelling all over again!" Palutena exclaimed as she screamed, feeling that her life was spinning out of control...
...or so it seemed. Turns out that this was a dream Palutena had. Why? No one knows... it just happens. Why? Because it's to set the tone from the original fanfic, and because it's funny to mess around with everyone's heads. Including mine.
One day at the mall, Lucas and his lover Dark Pit were hanging out, y'know at the mall. Lucas wore an Slipknot shirt while Dark Pit had Iron Maiden because they are hardcore. They held hands, the dark angel scoffing at the preps and those who stared at them, including Yoshizilla-Rhedosaurus who decided to make a very brief cameo in the story like that Stan Lee fella does for all the Marvel crap. Dr. Hoshi and Peppy Ankylosaurus were trying to make another abrupt appearance as they noticed the edgy pair, deciding to make like a tree and get out of there as the dark hearted twerps kept on making their twisted presence known.
"Oh I never," sung Aria Meloetta in a southern accent before fainting with anime swirlie eyes on her funny face, a carton of vanilla icing in her paddle shaped hands.
Lucas couldn't help but laugh as he took a sip of his hardcore Capri-sun, embracing his lover. They always went to the mall to go to the greatest store ever, Hot Topic. It was paradise for the hardcore mall Goths and all others who loved wearing black. However, today it was replaced by a lighter, newer Hot Topic that sold ONE DIRECTION, ANIME AND CARTOON MERCHANDISE AND JUSTIN BIEBER! Dark Pit gasped, dropping his Capri-sun as he fell down to his knees. Lucas glanced inside, seeing preps such as Toadette, Ness, Toon Link, and even Tiny Kong were shopping inside. Their bags were full of anime merchandise as Dark Pit gagged.
"Gross! Its those cute tooters." scoffed the dark angel named Dark Pit, with everyone constantly making fun of him for his redundantly unoriginal name, sticking out his tongue in disgust as he watched Toadette fart loudly.
Lucas was grossed out too, seeing the preps laugh as Tiny Kong farted a bassier poot. "Ew, how gross! What did they do to our store man?! They've ruined it! It was where we first met too."
Dark Pit embraced Lucas, hugging him closely. "I know Lucas, I know."
Relicanth cried salty tears at the sight of his once beloved store. "HOW DARE THEY TAKE AERODACTYL WITH A GUN AWAY FROM ME!"
Dark Pit and Lucas glanced at the Relicanth in confusion as they shrugged and proceeded to make sweet goth love to each other. However, they were immediately interrupted, since the tooters of cuteness happen to have spotted them, y'know IN THE ACT.
"Dudes! Look at what Dark Pit is doing!" Ness exclaimed as she burped while drinking some grape soda.
"Aww! He's hugging Lucas!" Toon Link teased as he dropped his bags since they felt like they weighed a ton.
The four characters all laughed as Dark Pit and Lucas growled, prompting them to attack, which was then stopped by Lady Palutena, who blinded the two with her light... and flatulence.
"Stop right there, son!" Palutena exclaimed as she towered over the two edgy boys. "I won't let you take away Mama Luigi!"
Luigi paused as he had a horrified look on his face, causing him to turn around as he pointed at Palutena. "Hey, I'm not your-"
"Mama?" Toadette started as she began giggling, tears of laughter forming in her eyes. "Mama Luigi!?"
"More like Mommy Weegee! Haha!" Tiny Kong added as she joined Toadette in laughing, with the five preps all laughing at Luigi as the three girls farted up a gassy storm.
Of course, they were suddenly attacked by a different Hot Topic Krew, which consisted of Gay Piplup, Chrom, Flowey the Flower, Waluigi, Morshu, and Lilligant, who were all more determined to save their emo Hot Topic than Dark Pit and Lucas. Watching this insanity from a nearby ice cream stand as Mewtwo, who shook his head at this as the thick hipped, plane crashing Cia and burping lesbian Lana were by his sides. Mewtwo was in a rivalry for selling ice cream with Robbie Rotten, who had the farting Toujou Nozomi on his dastardly side. And all of this was in front of The Nutshack, ran by the one and only Tito Dick 'Dickman' Baby, who raised Phil and loved the ladies. Paul Blart was keeping everything in charge since he was the mall cop, while Dry Bowser served as a janitor who had to clean up all of the messes in the general hall area, with Arceus and Gruntilda Winkybunion the witch providing snarky commentary from a balcony high above the mall. None of this would matter in any way, shape, or form since the entire mall of stupidity got destroyed from Reptar dancing in it since he had to get fit in order to take on Godzilla in a monster sized Kaiju Dance Off involving 7 grand music tracks from The Flintstones. Eventually Godzilla showed up at the destroyed remains of the mall, him and Reptar beginning their rocking dance off as Fred Flintstone served as the DJ for this dance revolution.
Of course, this was incidentally also another dream that Palutena was having. As to why she was having weird dreams? ...because she's the kind of goddess that would want to imagine what alternate realities would be like. That's all.
Which, of course, leads to what happened the very day after...
Doc Brown and Fox McCloud were fixing up Fox's various StarFox tech in the gigantic garage of the infamous Smash Mansion, with the two planning on improving them for combat as Lady Palutena marked her entrance by releasing a wet fart, much to the annoyance of the two tech guys.
"Ms. Palutena, why must you always break wind?" Doctor Emmett Brown sighed, the human scientist wishing that sometimes he could just go Back To The Future instead of putting up with these gas passing shenanigans.
"Because it's fun! And it's totally healthy for me to be doing so since holding it in for so long is actually bad to your body in the long term!" Palutena exclaimed as she gleefully twirled her staff around, laughing as she leaned forward, making another fart emerge from her goddess rear, with the flatulent propulsion blowing back her long green hair. "Anyway, since I bothered to come down here, can you two can come join us at the mall? I heard there's some weird fun stuff going on!"
"No thanks." Fox interrupted as he adjusted his green pants, adjusting his visor around his head shortly afterwards. "We've just heard about something going down in Seaside Hill. Like there was a fire, or something."
"So you're gonna check it out instead of joining us?" Palutena murmured as she wrapped her right arm around Fox, trying her best to convince them. "Trust me, I think you can afford going with us, just for a round!"
Doc Brown and Fox murmured as they looked at each other, knowing that this was not going to end well for either of them. Alas, such was the case... of the Cute Toot House. Because if something stunk adorably, it's definitely them.
New Cute Toot House
NCTH1: The Revenge Of The Phantom Of The Attack Of The Menace Sith Clones
"What kind of title is that?" Toon Link complained as he looked at the script, squinting his big cartoony eyes in disbelief.
"Beats me. I think the author is trying to repeat a funny moment from the original story," Meloetta pointed out as she felt her stomach rumble, causing her to pull out a carton of vanilla icing from her green hair using her psychic ability, chucking off the lid and sucking up the icing as she burped loudly.
"Uh oh! Sounds like Yoshizilla is a friggin' moron!" Tiny exclaimed as she pulled up her pants after letting out a saxophone like fart.
"Well, he is quite rather old... and could check his brain out for some... particular things of interest..." Doc Brown explained as he didn't know how to end this first chapter.
"Oh, you want to end the first chapter? Don't worry, YR knows how to make abrupt cuts!" Toadette interjected, explaining that this process always happened-