AN: As there were no pig heads in my bed, flames, death threats or other negative reactions, well, actually no reaction at all, I decided to continue this story. I had fun writing it so why not? There will probably be a new chapter each week as long as I find the time. Enjoy.

Isekaied by an inept Fanfiction Writer into Harry Potter

A story by DaManWriter, the inept Fanfiction Writer.

Disclaimer: If I did own Harry Potter or any other franchise that might get mentioned in this work, I'd relax on a tropical island right now instead of writing a disclaimer. I just borrow the characters for a bit and return them unharmed. Probably.

Chapter 2

Chris, no Harry, was back at the Dursleys, back in the cupboard - and he was pissed off.

Pissed of at the Inept Fanfiction Writer for creating this world. Pissed of at Rowling for creating the world this world was based on. Pissed off at the situation in general.

And after hitting his head on the low ceiling again he was incredibly pissed off at the Dursleys.

"Well, what did this self proclaimed pseudo god say? Try to be reasonable? Do things different? Try to follow the script? Yeah, right. Hell, maybe I should start calling him Being Z? Yeah, that will sure piss him off. Maybe not as much as I'm pissed off, but sharing is caring."

Harry left the cupboard and, deciding to fuck up this shit, went to the kitchen.

"Doing things different, eh? No problem, Being Z."

Harry grabbed a large kitchen knife, the very same as last time actually, and went back up to the master bedroom where he proceeded to kill the whale and the horse in a maelstrom of violence for making his life hell for more then a decade. Well, Harry's life, but then again he was Harry now, so that was a moot point. Too bad he couldn't try the knife on Being Z. That would be fun. Well, this has to do for now.

Giving the grotesque mess a last look Harry left the room when Dudley's door opened. The fat boy looked wordlessly at Harry who was covered with blood from head to toe. Then into the master bedroom at the mutilated remains of what he was subconsciously sure must once have been his parents. Then back at Harry. Then back to the bed. Then he fainted.

Harry kicked his cousin's fat ass.

"You are such a girl, Duddikins."

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Back in the white place between realities a huge glowing bearded white head was silently crying.

"I JUST WANTED TO WRITE AN AWESOME FANFICTION. WHY DID I TRY TO COMBINE ISEKAI INTO IT? WHY DID I THINK THIS WAS A COOL NEW IDEA? IT IS SO OBVIOUS WHY NOBODY TRIED SOMETHING LIKE THIS BEFORE AND NOW THAT I SNATCHED THIS DAMN SOUL I'M STUCK WITH IT. I HOPED THE FIRST ATTEMPT WAS A FLUKE, BUT NOOO... THIS IS JUST AS BAD. MAYBE EVEN WORSE. OH GOD, I TOLD HIM THIS IS MY SECOND FANFICTION. WHAT IF HE REALIZES...?"

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Harry went up into the second bedroom, wrote his letters again and sent Hedwig off with them. This time there was one more letter, addressed to Gringotts. Then he went down to the kitchen.

Harry sighed. Now what to do... Yes!

"Dobby!"

An elf wearing a pillow case appeared with a pop.

"Great Master Harry Potter sir called Dobby! What can Dobby do for..."

The elf finally noticed the situation and fell silent.

"Hello, Dobby. Do you want to be my elf full time?"

Nodding his head wildly the elf hugged Harry's legs.

"Great Master Harry Potter sir wants Dobby be his elf? Dobby is the happiest elf in the whole world!"

"That is great, Dobby. Now please place Dudley here under stasis and make breakfast. I just did it myself and don't feel like cooking breakfast again."

Dobby looked wide eyed at Harry who has just said something that was even stranger than what Dobby usually said, shrugged and went to work.

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After a fantastic breakfast Harry called Dobby again who appeared with a pop.

"Great Master Harry Potter sir called Dobby! What can Dobby do for you?"

"Pack all my stuff into my trunk. Throw all the clothes not fitting me out and bring the trunk down here."

Dobby popped away. Only seconds later he was done.

"Dobby, in the garage is a large and a smaller canister with petrol. I want you to pour it all on the corpses in the bed upstairs. Then pop Dudley over to Aunt Marge and place him in the kennel. Release his stasis but make sure he's asleep."

Dobby popped away while Harry grabbed a bunch of candles, placed them upstairs and lit them. Coming back down he found Dobby already waiting.

Almost done...

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Harry went out into the garden.

"Tonks! Hey, Tonks!"

Crickets chirped. He sighed.

"Tonks, I know that you are here."

Nothing. In a singsong voice he continued.

"WHERE ARE YOU, NYM-PHA-DO..."

An angry pink haired auror stepped from under an invisibility cloak.

"Don't call me that!"

Harry grinned at her looking highly amused.

"Go and tell Dumbledore I will leave this hellhole never to return."

Tonks hair turned red.

"What?"

"I said go and tell Dumbledore I will leave this..."

"I heard you the fist time. Why?"

"Well, the Dursleys thought for more than a decade that I'm their house elf they could work to death, starve to death and beat to death. This ends, now."

Her hair went through all the colors of the rainbow.

"Wait, what? But..."

Harry looked at her.

"Don't think for one second Dumbledore doesn't know about this. I was in the hospital with broken bones several times with bruises showing clearly what is going on. The Dursleys never were checked. Some teachers in school noticed. Most suddenly acted as if nothing was wrong, one even changed schools. The Dursleys never were checked. Dumbledore's fucking Order of the Burning Chicken was watching the house, that cat lady was watching the house and nobody ever fucking noticed all the years? Either everyone is brain dead or mind wiped and I don't give a shit which of the two is true. This ends, now. Tell Dumbledore I'll contact him."

Tonks got paler and paler during his little tirade, nodded and apparated away.

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Harry went back inside, and tied a long string on the handle of the front door, walked into the kitchen and fixed the other end on the lighter of the gas stove.

"Dobby, open the front door, please".

The lighter turned on. Good.

"Great. Close it again and also close all the windows in the house, then take my trunk out to the curb. Wait for me there."

Harry turned off the lighter and grinned. If the bearded wanker was faster than expected he'll have some fun.

The isekaied man-boy unlocked, opened and pulled the key from the backdoor and opened all gas burners. He went into the garden, locked the door, pulled the key and walked whistling around the house to the curb where he called the Knight Bus.

He entered the huge bus with Dobby, told the driver he wanted to go to the Leakey Cauldron and paid. The bus shot away like a rocket while the gas slowly spread in the house, it's level already reaching the first step of the stair.

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In Hogwarts Tonks was sitting in the headmaster's office explaining what was going on and also asking what was going on. Dumbledore seemed troubled, his eyes were not twinkling at all. Seems all that obliviating will finally bite his ass. He sighed and got two more lemon drops.

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After a fun roller coaster ride Harry walked into the Leaky Cauldron with his trusty elf. He went to Tom and asked him if he could leave his trunk here for a while, Tom was happy to oblige the boy-who-lived. After dropping of the trunk the boy and his elf entered Diagon Alley. Not that anyone noticed Dobby who was invisible as most elves were most of the time.

"Well, let's start at Gringotts. Without money I can't pay for all the stuff I need."

That said Harry entered the bank, looked for the shortest queue and waited for his turn.

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Dumbledore apparated from Hogwarts to Surrey and looked at #4 Privet Drive. Nothing seemed wrong. Well, something was actually incredibly wrong. Like the eye watering robes the wizard was wearing. The muggles around should feel happy he was wearing a disillusionment charm, not that they realized this.

The headmaster walked to the house. Well, he wanted to walk to the house. Not even halfway there the house blew up in a giant fireball. Dumbledore flew back a few meters and landed on his back, unconscious with a smoldering beard.