AN: The rough draft is basically done, but gets still expanded and subtleties changed just about every time I open it. I have written 7 chapters so far and think it's developing nicely.

Since there was some demand regarding that, yes, there will be a love interest. It's still some way off, so I decided to give you a hint: Blonde hair. No, it's definitely not Malfoy.

As I dislike unfinished stories and guess I'm not alone with that affliction I'll try to see this to completion. Enjoy!

Isekaied by an inept Fanfiction Writer into Harry Potter

A story by DaManWriter, the inept Fanfiction Writer.

Disclaimer: If I did own Harry Potter or any other franchise that might get mentioned in this work, I'd relax on a tropical island right now instead of writing a disclaimer. I just borrow the characters for a bit and return them unharmed. Perhaps.

Chapter 4

In Warding & Charming removing the old mail redirect and applying a new one with the best mail safety service plan Gringotts had to offer was done within minutes. Everything was ready when Harry arrived because his Manager had sent word ahead.

Goblins didn't like to waste time, just like Harry. Well, the goblins did like to waste their customers time to amuse themselves, by letting them wait while doing... whatever it is the ugly fuckers do. Seems they appreciate a little courtesy just as expected.

The curse breaker, an older human, informed him that there were a whole bunch of trackers on his person.

"I guess you want us to remove them?"

Oh, you are so going to pay for this, you bearded wanker!

"Yes, I want you to remove them. Can you prevent new ones?"

"Of course. Gringotts offers a security service plan for trackers. We will ward you and whatever you want. Bring in everything else that you want secured, especially what you carry with you like clothes or your wand. Costs depend on the amount of wards and how powerful you want them to be."

Damn, the albino gnomes had a fucking service plan for fucking everything! Harry took out the trunk Dobby had shrunk for him.

"I want you to ward me, my wand, and everything in this trunk. Oh, and the trunk itself. Best security plan. Also check me for blood trackers."

The curse breaker looked at Harry with narrowed eyes.

"Blood trackers are highly illegal. To check for them I need some of your blood. Do you have reason to believe someone placed one on you?"

Harry nodded knowing exactly what the old bastard had placed on him and stored in his office.

"Yes, I have."

"Well then, this will take a while. Can you come back later today?"

Harry looked at the knife handed to him.

"That reminds me of something. I want one of those cool daggers used to test people's identity."

"An Audit Blade? Gringotts doesn't usually sell those, but I see no reason you can't get one."

Harry grinned maniacally.

"Fucking excellent! I want it and it's sheath warded as well, of course."

Another round of haggling followed.

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Harry walked into the building of 3MVile Law, the solicitor's office of Michael Cohenvile, Michael Milkenvile and Michael Avenattivile. According to Gringotts they were highly recommended, worked mostly for the grey and darkish faction but not for death eaters. Well, being cutthroat solicitors they probably would, but all three being half bloods the masked bigots would never retain them.

Anyway, they were very successful making the choice easy for Harry. A short time in the waiting room later he sat in front of Michael Cohenvile and explained the situation while once more a quill wrote down everything.

The solicitor folded his hands under his chin.

"I see. So there was an illegal mail redirect and several blood trackers on you. We will ignore the normal trackers, that would gain us nothing. The mail redirect is way more important since it at the very least prevented you receiving your Gringotts mail. If there was anything important, anything that may have cost you money, our case will be even better. I'll work with your account manager to see what we can squeeze out of Dumbledore for this. The blood trackers are highly invasive and highly illegal. I'm quite sure we can get some compensation for that as well."

Harry grinned at his solicitor.

"The goblins are definitely going after Dumbledore as well and will probably agree to get a large fine instead of going for his arrest. I want my due share of that."

Cohenvile frowned.

"The goblins will not be happy about this."

"The little fuckers already earned quite a lot from me and will earn a shitload more. Also without me they would get no fine at all. Tell them sharing is caring."

"As you wish."

Cohenvile would later learn that the goblins had no problem sharing the fine with Heir Potter who they had recognized as someone with a very similar philosophy, after some haggling of course.

"Well, then I leave everything in your capable hands. Bleed the bearded bastard dry."

"Oh, we certainly will, Mr. Potter."

The solicitor was now rubbing his hands in glee. He always wanted to get Dumbledore and this was his big chance!

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After Mr. Cohenvile Harry also met Michael Avenattivile, the resident expert for ancient laws.

Harry sat down and looked at the bald man behind his desk who looked back at him expectantly.

"Mr. Cohenvile sent me to you as the expert for those things."

"Go on, Mr. Potter."

"I have only one question, but need it answered in great detail. Tell me all the ways to kill my enemies that are perfectly legal."

The surprise on Avenattivile's face soon gave way to an evil grin.

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"Dobby caught the rat that is not a rat for the Great Master Harry Potter sir."

Harry grinned at his trusty elf.

"Fucking excellent, Dobby. I have some time to waste, so let's check out Diagon Alley."

They walked around, the elf once again invisible to onlookers. There were quite a few onlookers, to Harry's growing vexation.
Oh, a magical optometrist. Great, I want to get rid of my shitty spectacles.

Once inside a young woman walked up to him.

"Welcome to... the boy-who-lived!"

Harry grimaced, then grinned.

"A strange name you have for your little shop here."

The woman blushed.

"Sorry about that. You are really famous, you know. I also kinda expected you to come here years ago, but you never did."

That old meddler Dumbledore never told him anything or took him anywhere. Fuck that bastard!

"Well, I never knew you even existed. But now I'm here so what is it you can do exactly?"

All professional now the woman led him to a seat.

"We make omnioculars and everything from glasses for reading to monocles, but those are all mostly for show. There are not many eye maladies save dark curses that we can't heal after your magical core is reasonably stabilized, usually around your tenth birthday. Can I have those to check?"

She pointed at his glasses and took them after Harry nodded.

"Mmmh, you are myopic, shortsighted. That should be easy to heal."

"Please do."

Some wand gestures and incantations later Harry's vision cleared.

"There, that usually does the trick. Stay seated and try to read this."

She pointed to a chart on the wall and Harry could read it all. Even the last row which was tiny as fly shit! That was fucking great!

"You did a fantastic job! I can read even the super small stuff!"

She grinned.

"I'm happy when the customer is happy."

Harry grinned back after checking his new look in a mirror.

"Say, do you have sunglasses?"

"Muggleborns kept asking for magical sunglasses they can't loose or that won't break, so yes, we do. If you want something fancy we got phototropic glasses some time ago and experimented with them. Really interesting what the muggles can come up with. Unlike their products our ones darken and clear instantly depending on the amount of light. Also unlike muggle ones we can make them in any color. Oh, and they not only shield you from bright light, they can also enhance light when it's dark."

"I rather like Ray-Ban Aviators in green. Can you do something like those but photoroptic, mirrored and charmed against damage and removal?"

"Phototropic. Sure can do. Our Ray-Bans are over there, take a look."

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Wearing his new green mirrored Ray-Ban Aviator glasses that hid his eyes completely Harry walked out of the Leaky Cauldron. He was definitely noticed less now. Fucking excellent! Since he didn't plan to tell anybody about his healed eyes always wearing those glasses would astonish nobody. And damn, he looked cool! Well, as soon as he changed from his old homeless couture to some nice haute couture he will be. He stopped a cab and got in.

"Harrods!"

One shopping spree later he had a range of black and blue jeans, shirts, t-shirts, various shoes and whatever else the nice ladies in the shops thought a strapping young man like him needs to have. Thank god for house elves, Dobby took care of a shitload of shopping bags and transported all of those to Gringotts to get everything charmed against trackers with his other stuff.

Checking his new outfit in the changing room's large mirror Harry grinned and left for Gordon Ramsay Burger. He had to go back to Warding & Charming but before that he wanted a nice burger or two or three. He was once more a growing boy after all. That's when he noticed that his young new body with the accompanying hormones had started to influence him more than he thought.