BREAD

"Take cover!" Ojiro shouted as another portal opened.

Sato dove across the kitchen counter, rolling pin in hand. The wooden cylinder crashed upon a lovecraftian monstrosity of gluten and tentacles, spattering it into croutons and green goop.

"The fridge won't hold much longer! Cover Sero!"

Sero heroically dashed across a battlefield rife with flying bread monsters and hero students. He unfurled his tape and swung it around the ominously rattling fridge.

"We need reinforcements! Koda, what do the crows want?"

"They demand our firstborn children, equal rights under Japanese law, and all the shinies in the building."

"Can't you talk them down to bird treats?"

"They raise the price every time I try to haggle."

A pigeon valiantly swooped into the maw of a bread monster. The pigeon fluttered free in a shower of crumbs, green goo smeared across its face in Braveheart warpaint.

"They're getting up again! Get those toasters online!"

Yaoyorozu forced another handful of tentacle bread down her throat, and a toaster popped out of her cleavage. "These don't have a lot of fat. I need butter."

"You're willing to open the fridge for it?"

The fridge snarled and leapt off the ground. Sero taped it to the wall.

"No."

"Then you'll have to make do. How's Kaminari holding up?"

Kaminari, holding a strip outlet feeding dozens of toasters while Kirishima and Shoji frantically jammed bread into them, asked, "Do you guys smell that? I think something's burning."

"Not quite American stupid yet, but he's getting there."

"He'll have to hold until Iida runs that power cord over to the school."

Mina flung more acid around Kaminari. One loaf of bread recoiled from its acrid touch, wriggled, then strode fearlessly over the caustic barrier.

"My acid isn't working!" Mina shouted. "They're adapting!"

Kirishima flung himself in the way. Loaves of bread latched onto his arms and legs and aggressively gnawed at his toughened skin.

"Dude! We're not going to last much longer! We need to let him out!"

Mineta frantically shook his head. "Are you nuts? He'll rip me apart!"

"The bread will get you first!"

Mineta hesitated. A loaf bit a sphere off his head. Tears running down his face, Mineta frantically peeled Bakugo free of the spheres pinning him to a chair.

Bakugo blasted Mineta into a wall. "Finally. I'll show you useless extras how to win against the real enemy." He smashed the toasters into smithereens. Blackened bread bits crawled out of the wreckage.

"Bakugo no! We need the machines!"

"They're sabotaging us!" Bakugo kicked at the fridge. "Once they're down, the bread will return to normal."

"Bakugo no!"

The fridge flew open. A colossal amalgamation of pastry and ravening horrors lunged at Bakugo. With an almighty shout, Bakugo shoved his arm inside. The loaf ballooned outwards and exploded. The shockwave ripped all the other loaves apart.

After a silent moment, everyone cheered.

Across the school, Mei shook the last bread bag and said, "Guess I better get more for the teleporter."

498

Twelve hours later, Izuku drives an entire truck through the support course building and says, "Here is that bread you wanted."

"Sweet! Let's get teleporting!"

Three days later, an exhausted Ojiro packing eyebags as large as Shinso's howls, "Where is all this bread coming from?"