It had been a week since Kim had starting working with Intelligence and she still had yet to tell anyone her secret. She didn't want to be seen as weak. She was a damn good cop and she would be damned to have people think otherwise. She was pulled from her thoughts when she heard Voight stating they had a case. "So we have a CI who is going to introduce us in as a buyer to a big time player. I hate to be sexist but Burgess your needed for this. Your body type is more his speed." The entire team looked at Kim who grinned knowing exactly what was meant by that. "Alright we need to set up this buy, Atwater will be your muscle for the buy. You will both be arrested afterwards to keep it legit looking. You can head off to get changed now and please show some skin. I know it's not what we do but if it helps." Voight looked sick asking but Kim cut him off. "It's okay. Not the first time I showed some skin to get answers. I assume when you say skin you are asking for cleavage?" Kim asked wanting to double check. Voight looked down but nodded in response. "No problem. I got this. It's all good." Kim headed off to dress while the looked sick. Asking someone to show skin to get the bad guy was not what they did but if it helped they would deal.
When Kim returned so was in tight jeans and heeled boots with a very tight black shirt that showed a ton of cleavage. She had even taped them up a bit to push them up and out more. "Oh god damn!" Adam stared as she strutted back in. "Will this do?" Kim asked pleased with the slack jawed response if her team. Even Erin was looking. "Umm yeah that will do but can you cover up for now. I don't need a bunch of teenagers drooling right now." Voight was displeased with his teams actions. "Of course sir. Trust me I'm not all that comfortable doing this. Just it's the job. If they see me uncomfortable they will know something is off." Voight nodded as she took her jacket and covered herself. The details were long and more than Kim was used to. She didn't do a ton of undercover in SVU but she had done enough to know what to do.
As they headed to their vehicles Kim sat back and let Kevin drive. After all he was supposed to be the muscle and they drive right? "Are you really okay with this?" He asked looking over at her when they stopped the car. "Not really but this is the job. And if this is how we get him to do the buy we use it. But if he touches them I will break his hand." Kim smiled knowing full well she could and would. "Well okay then. Let's do this." Kevin came around to open the door. They waited with baited breath. If this went wrong nothing could protect her from getting shot. She had no vest so she had to stay in character and get this deal done.
"Ruze you okay with this?" Jay asked as they watched for the dealers arrival. "What the girl I like and team member showing her breasts off to the world? No! But I have to trust that she can handle this. And hope like hell that she feels the same when she's ready." Adam watched while he spoke. Not wanting or needing to see Jay or Erin's face at that moment. "Hey she will be fine. She's with Kev. She's going to do great." Erin patted his shoulder as they all watched different angles. Voight called over to let them know they had a car coming their way. Antonio getting the details of the vehicle and calling it in. It was a deal end as it was stolen months before and in Ohio.
Kevin tapped Kim's shoulder letting her know someone was coming. The vehicle had the CI, the dealer and his side kick. Kim stood tall ready to get this done. "So your my buyer? You don't look like a buyer." The dealer looked her up and down. "Well that's kind of the point. Not look like the rest. Easier not to be caught up in the mess. Names Sarah. And you are?" Kim asked extending a hand to shake. "You can call me Blue. So Sarah, where do you sell." He asked still checking her out. "First of eyes up here and second. I sell in New York. The supply there is tainted anymore. I need something clean, pure. I hear you can help me with that." Kim offered hoping he would take the bait. "What's tainted about it?" Blue asked confused maybe or just dragging it out. "They cut it with fentanyl. It kills clients and that's bad for business. I can't have that. Dead clients means no clients. So if you have clean product we should this. It's as simple as it comes." Kim shrugged.
"All right. How much cash you got?" Blue asked. "I got 200,000. If this sells well I will be back. If not you will never hear from me again. Deal?" Kim waited as he processed the deal. "Fine I need to see the cash first." Blue stated as Kevin flashed the bag of cash open to see the money first before sending his guy to grab the dope. Once in her procession Kim checked that it was in fact the drugs before Kevin handing over the money. "It's been fun. We should go back to place and party." Blue licked his lips staring at Kim's chest. "Yeah no! I don't mix business with pleasure. And besides you are not my type. I don't swing that way if you know what I mean." Kim winked as she turned to walk away. "Oh I could change you. Turn you straight." Blue reached for Kim's chest but Kevin got in the way. "Gonna stop you right there. Last dude who did got his arm broke in three places by her. I'd stay back if I were you." Kevin blocked as Kim got in the vehicle. As they all got set to leave they all looked spooked by the cop cars surrounding them.
Like planned Kim and Kevin were arrested. "I want a lawyer! Now! This is bullshit!" Kim screamed as they cuffed her and placed her in the car. She kept up the act for a bit till they were moving towards the district. As they were led through the lobby of the district to be taken upstairs to the bullpen Kim was at it again. "Hello? I said lawyer! Are you even listening Officer? You need to un-cuff me now! You got nothing on me." Kim was pulling and Adam physically had to restrain her as he put her in an interview room. Once inside he took off the cuffs and handed her a shirt to cover up again. "Nice show Detective. Can I ask you a question?" Adam asked watching her put his shirt on. "Sure. I might not answer but you can ask. Also thanks for the shirt." Kim buttoned the shirt and looked up at him. "Are you really a lesbian? I don't get that vibe but you alluded to being one." Adam watched her blush.
"No I'm not. Just a part, a character. Look I know what you said last week. You didn't wait for a response. I'm not sure how to answer to be honest. I'm not in a place mentally that I could even try to figure that out. I am running and I have a lot of baggage. Things I'm not sure you can handle. Things I'm not ready to be open about. However I will admit I do find you attractive but I don't know anything more than that." Kim sighed knowing eventually she would need to explain. "Hey I understand all of that. I just want you to promise me something. If you start to have feelings for someone else you will tell me? Don't string me along. Otherwise I will wait because I felt something the moment I saw you. And I know you are not mine but it killed me seeing your body on display like that. It killed me watching him ogle you like that. So when you are ready I'm here." Adam leaned closer moving her hair from her face to behind her ear. He slowly kissed her forehead, letting his lips linger before moving away.
He left the room right after. Once again not waiting for a response. Kim was stunned. Speechless. She finally exited the room seeing Al and Voight interrogating one suspect while Erin and Jay had the other. As she entered the bullpen Adam, Kevin and Antonio were all working on different things. "Burgess, Platt dropped this off for you." Kevin passed her an large envelope. "Thanks." Kim took it to her desk seeing it was from New York. She opened it quickly hoping this was her divorce finished already. She looked in dismay when she saw it another attempt at getting her drop the charges. Another stalling tactic. She picked up her phone and called her lawyer right away. "Hey it's Burgess. Call me back. I got another stalling tactic. Need to know how we handle this. Thank." Kim hung up noticing the looks but choose not to acknowledge it.
Kim got back to work trying not to focus on the letter but it nagged her horribly. She did the nickname searches as Blue wouldn't give his real name. She tried to stay busy. Everyone was back in the bullpen, allowing the suspects to simmer and sweat it out. They all looked up when her phone rang. She looked at her phone and answered right away. "Hey. What the hell is going on?" Kim was quiet as she walked to the break room. Knowing all eyes were on her. "Kim look he's willing to take the deal I offered him only if you drop the attempted rape charge. He's willing to do jail time for domestic battery. He's willing sign the divorce papers, sign over custody, give you half of everything, alimony and child support. But he doesn't want the attempted rape charge as it would ruin his life for good." Barba sighed knowing this was not what she wanted at all.
"That all sounds good but how do I just ignore that my own husband tried to rape me. I assume we have 24 hours to decide. I need to think about this. You know me, you know my job. Just ignoring it, doesn't seem right to me." Kim sighed hard. "I know but this would be the end. You would be free. You wouldn't have to testify. Just think about it and let me know tomorrow. Try to rest Kim, you need it." Barba hung up after that. Kim sat there for a few minutes trying to figure it out. The knock on the door raised her from her thoughts. "You good girl?" Kev asked walking in. He saw her hang up and he saw her head hanging low. He knew she was feeling defeated. "I don't know. I have a lot to think about. And only 24 hours to make the decision. I just don't know how to make it. If I do the easy thing I have to act like something big never happened. And if I do it the hard way I'm still stuck." Kim looked at her hands as she spoke.
"Look I don't know what's going on but maybe being free is better than being stuck over this one thing. I can't decide for you but freedom sounds pretty good." Kevin noticed she had tears in her eyes. He quickly sat next to her and rubbed her back. "Maybe. Maybe you are right but I want acknowledgement that it happened. I don't want it swept under the rug. I want justice for it all but I also want to move on and be done with it. It's been 8 months already." Kim cried hard needing to get it out. "Hey you fought the good fight. Freedom sounds really good right now. Think about it. I will grab you a water and some tissues. Be right back." Kevin left the room closing the door behind him. He shook his head letting them know whatever it was wasn't good.
"Let me. Maybe she needs girl talk to solve this." Erin grabbed the water and tissues and walked into the break room seeing Kim in tears. "Girl! Just let it out!" Erin encouraged hugging her letting her cry. "Kevin send you in here?" Kim asked smiling some. "Nope thought you might need girl talk. Kim tell me what's going on." Erin asked almost begging in her voice. "If I tell you. You can't tell anyone else. No one knows except for Voight. I'm not ready for everyone to know." Kim looked at Erin and saw the nod. "Okay so 8 months ago my life changed forever. My husband came home drunk. He's was a lawyer. He lost a big case and got blind stinking drunk. I fell asleep on the couch waiting for him to get home, the twins asleep in the pack in play, in the same room as me. I heard him come through the door stumbling and crashing into things. I told him to quiet down, not to wake the kids. He back handed me so hard I was bleeding. I ordered him to leave and he lost it. He started to beat me, our kids crying watching the entire thing. I begged him to stop but he didn't. He started to rip my jeans off I pushed away best I could getting my service weapon and pistol whipped him. He was knocked out. I could see he was breathing but I grabbed the kids and left. Checked into a cheap motel where they wouldn't ask questions. I paid cash, called Benson. She took my statement and took photos of my injuries. He was arrested and held without bail. I moved home, filed for divorce, filed for full custody, filed protection from abuse, legal separation. He's been dragging it out. Today I was told he will give me everything I want if I drop the attempted rape charges. I just don't know if I can do that. It's a mess." Kim cried not seeing Erin's shocked face. Jay saw it though through the door.
"Kim I don't know what to say. We all knew you were running but we never suspected this. I get this is hard for you but we support you either way you decide." Erin rubbed her back a bit. "I don't want people to think I'm weak. That I can't do my job you know?" Kim asked as she wiped her face. "You are not weak in any way. You protected your kids, you got them and yourself out if there. And you took legal action to prevent it from happening again. You are amazing. You should be proud of how you handled this all. I'm proud of you and I know the guys would be too." Erin watched as Kim sighed heavily. "Can I really just dropped the rape charges to get everything else done? To get the divorce, alimony, child support, half of everything, full custody? He would still go to jail for domestic battery, is that enough?" Kim questioned not really looking for an answer just talking out loud. "Honestly, Yes. You can be free again. Free to live the life you want, that your kids deserve. I would do it. You still may need therapy but it's better than this dragging on forever." Erin answered watching Kim nod. "Yeah maybe." Kim leaned back on the couch with her eyes closed.
"How old are they?" Erin asked trying to change the subject. Kim smiled before answering. "They are just over 2 years old now. Mia and Milo. They still have nightmares. I still cry myself to sleep. It's been hell you know." Kim mused. "Sounds like you are doing well considering. You know everyone here is worried about you. They all want to help. Just think about leaning on them too." Erin patted her leg getting up to leave. "Am I string enough? That's the question." Kim stated looking towards the team. "Yes you are. You wouldn't be here if you weren't." Erin left after that giving her space to think. As Erin left they all looked up. "I promised I wouldn't tell. But it's bad and a lot. She struggling right now." Erin sat down at her desk again and got back to work. Kim picked up her phone and sent a text to Barba. "Take the deal. But I want all my demands met. The kids and I must be supported through this all. That's most important. I want to be free again. Not trapped." After it was sent she closed her eyes and focused on her breathing.
When emerged from the break room everyone looked her way but Kim only looked at Erin and nodded. "Hey I'm proud of her." Erin got up to hug her, she knew it was done. Kim took the deal. Kevin was next in line. "I'm so proud if you girl! You can be free now!" Kevin hugged her tight. "Thank you both. I need to be honest with you all. You deserve it." Kim stood and told them all the sorted details, every nasty detail that created this storm. She saw the looks of horror and anger from her team but after she was done explaining the deal she received hugs from each person. Adam being the last holding her tighter. "It changes nothing." He whispered before pulling away. He watched her nod letting him know she heard him. Though she still felt weak in that moment she was happy to have their support.
"So now that we know. Can we ask a few questions?" Antonio asked hoping to get to know her more. "Um sure. What do you guys want to know?" Kim asked walking to her desk. "How old are your kids and what are their names?" Al asked, he loved kids. "Easy one they are 2 and Mia and Milo." Kim answered quickly. "Are they okay with all this?" Jay asked. "Um so they happy to be away from him but they still have nightmares. So it's a pretty mixed bag." Kim explained. "When is there birthday?" Erin asked. "January 15th. So just about 3 months ago." Kim smiled thinking of her kids. "How long were you with him?" Adam asked, the group knew why. "4 and 1/2 years." Kim answered shortly. "Since he's losing custody, what about his family? Will they see the kids?" Kevin asked. "Um yeah no. I tried in the beginning of all this. They are very traditional Irish Catholics. Um I should have been a better wife and mother and that I'm a sinner and going to hell. Apparently sending him to jail for beating me and trying to rape me is a sin. I had some rather colorful choice words for them and we haven't spoken since." Kim just shrugged it off.
"Well you know you did the right thing no matter what they say. This unit is now their family too. You ever need us you let us know." Voight has been listening from his office. He knew the details since he was going to hire her he needed to ensure she was a good cop. Her personal life normal he wouldn't bother with but given the circumstances around her leaving he decided to have a look. The photos were pretty brutal and he was surprised that she returned to work the next day. But she had stood tall under all the pressure so he was proud of her. "Thank you sir! I appreciate that." Kim sat back in her seat feeling lighter than she had in a long tine. "Look so these guys don't want to flip so we are sending them to jail with what we have from today. That much dope they are looking at 15 years. So home guys. Get some rest." Voight headed back to his office and closed the door.
The team talked about headed out for drinks but once again Kim declined. This time with the truth of wanting to see her kids before bed time. Who wouldn't? Before she left though she put her address and a time on her business card and discreetly dropped in on Adams desk. She said nothing as she left just hoped he saw it. She knew he said her story changed nothing but it changes everything. If she gave him a chance he would be around her kids. If she gave him a chance he would have to give her time. It would be a long road before there could be labels or actual intimacy. She was fragile and broken inside. She needed him to know that before making a statement he couldn't take back. This was her chance to explain what she would need and what she could offer. 8:30 would he show?