This is a bit of a filler chapter but it starts picking up in the next update.
"More eggs, please, 'Manda."
The boyish little voice makes Amanda glance up from the various pans of food that are simmering enticingly on top of the stove, having dragged herself out of the comfortable bed she was sharing with Olivia to create a giant family-sized feast of bacon, eggs, pancakes and hash browns for everyone, along with the full pot of coffee and large jug of orange juice that are sitting nearby. The other human occupants of the apartment are perched in chairs around the kitchen table, two of them gobbling up the food she has prepared with eager enthusiasm while the third slumps there silently and gulps down her huge mug of coffee like the precious liquid will disappear into thin air if she doesn't drink it as quickly as possible.
The canine member of the home refuses to leave the kitchen no matter how many times Amanda has gently shooed her into the living room, Frannie much preferring to steal regular bites of their breakfast over eating her own bowl of dog food, and she has caught both of the kids sneaking slices of bacon to her pet when they assume she and Olivia aren't paying attention. Frannie is currently sitting ramrod straight in front of Jesse's chair, staring the toddler down with pleading eyes as the tiny blonde bites into a pancake that she has picked up with both hands, squishing the food delightedly between her chubby fists and eliciting an encouraging laugh from Noah.
"Jesse, don't play with your food, honey," Amanda chides lightly, guiding the crumbling pancake out of the little girl's hands and back onto the plate in front of her. "And here you go, buddy," she adds brightly, spooning some more of the scrambled eggs onto Noah's plate and smiling when he grins and claps his hands, responding with a thank you of appreciation. "And it was very nice of you to use your manners when you asked for more eggs."
"Mama teached me how to say please and thank you," Noah replies seriously as he picks up a forkful of the eggs and guides them into his mouth with more finesse than the child sitting beside him, Amanda's daughter still struggling to master the art of feeding herself properly instead of throwing everything onto the floor or building random objects with her food.
"Mama doesn't wanna talk to us today," Noah continues in a somewhat confidential tone even though his mother is sitting right there beside him, gesturing over to Olivia who is still chugging the cup of coffee as if her life depends on it, purple circles of fatigue ringing the older woman's eyes and a raspy cough emitting occasionally from her throat.
"I don't think Mama is feeling very well today, buddy," Amanda explains gently as she strides back toward the stove to keep an eye on the food that is still cooking and brushes a tender hand along Olivia's shoulder blades as she walks past her chair. "What do you say we stay inside today and watch some movies and play some games so your mom can relax and start feeling better?"
This suggestion is met with exuberant agreement by Noah and a noise of protest from Olivia, the brunette finally glancing up from her cup of coffee to ruffle a hand over her son's disheveled hair. She fixes Amanda with the same unreadable expression she had displayed in bed earlier that morning after Noah had inquired about the two of them having a sleepover together and had asked if they were best friends. Amanda has noticed that Olivia has yet to answer the little boy's innocent questions but has to admit that she hadn't really expected her to, the older woman hurrying to put on some clothes after Amanda had ushered the kids and Frannie from the room to give her some privacy, both relieved and disappointed once Olivia was fully dressed again.
She is aware that the brunette has begun leaving random bits of clothing and toiletries and toys at Amanda's place in case of an unexpected sleepover and that she herself has done the same thing at Olivia's apartment, even though neither one of them has ever addressed this particular habit that has been going on for the past little while now. Amanda has become used to seeing a sweatshirt of Olivia's or an action figure of Noah's in various spots around her home, and every single time one of these items come into her line of vision when the older woman and her son aren't physically there, she is filled with the conflicting emotions of an intense longing to spend time with them again and a profuse warmth that they feel comfortable enough to leave their things at her place.
She privately admits that she just wishes Olivia and Noah would bring the entire contents of their apartment over to hers, thereby making it official that they really are the family of five they are currently portraying themselves to be, since the scene playing out in her kitchen could not get much more domestic than it is right now. Saturday morning with the kids still in their pajamas and Amanda and Olivia in their lounge clothes, sharing a big breakfast while cartoons play on the TV in the background and the dog gets shooed from the room yet again, gives her the feeling of home, like this is where they are all meant to be; living together under one roof as a family unit.
"Amanda, it's a beautiful day outside," Olivia is saying firmly over the din of the chattering children and the barking dog, continuing to stroke a hand over her son's hair as he eats. "You and Jesse and Frannie shouldn't have to be stuck indoors all day just because I'm feeling a little under the weather. Noah and I should be getting home soon, anyway. It's perfectly fine for me to rest and relax at my own place. You've done quite enough for us."
There is an undercurrent of something deeper and more serious in the older woman's voice that Amanda can't quite get a read on, whether it be guilt or regret of the previous evening's events and how they had woken up together that morning, and she gets the sense that Olivia is trying to find a way to flee the situation before her embarrassment and shame take over entirely. She knows that although Olivia can now let her guard down in Amanda's presence and allow herself to be more vulnerable since they have grown so much closer, it is not something that comes very easily to the older woman; the two of them so much alike in this sense, as they tend to hold their deeper emotions inside and try to put up a strong front when things aren't going very well.
"No, Mama, I wanna stay with Jesse!" Noah objects loudly, a hint of tears in his eyes now as he grabs at the blonde toddler's hand and Jesse grabs back with just as much determination, the kids linking their fingers together and holding on tightly in solidarity, as if they are about to be ripped apart and forced to separate.
"Honey, we need to get going soon," Olivia explains gently, chucking her son lightly under the chin before ruffling his hair again. "I'm sure Amanda and Jesse have things they want to do today."
"Liv, don't be silly, of course you're more than welcome to stay," Amanda chastises more firmly than she had intended, noticing a raised eyebrow from Olivia in return. "You can stay for the whole weekend, if you want. The kids can play together and I can take care of you while you're not feeling well."
"Yeah, let's stay!" Noah cries happily, Amanda laughing at the way the little boy's mood seems to swing instantly from one spectrum to the other and reminded of how Jesse so often displays the same behavior.
"Amanda, I'm a grown woman who is perfectly capable of taking care of herself," Olivia replies with a bite in her tone, seemingly perturbed that Amanda has brought this suggestion up in front of the kids, who are extremely enthusiastic about the idea of spending the entire weekend together and are unlikely to let the subject drop now that it has been brought to their attention. "I'm not dying, you know. I probably just have a cold or something."
"You are quite the stubborn woman, you know that, Liv?" Amanda responds with a mixture of affection and irritation as she shakes her head in dismay at the brunette. "Why can't you just admit that you need some help with things right now?"
"Oh, you're one to talk," Olivia instantly shoots back, the lieutenant rolling her eyes and smothering a cough with one hand. "You might just be the most stubborn woman on the face of the earth, Rollins."
Amanda rolls her eyes right back at Olivia and whirls around to face the stove again with a small huff, knowing the older woman only calls her by her last name when she's extremely annoyed and that they had moved to a mostly first-name basis after becoming so much closer with one another when Jesse was born. An unexpected flash of Olivia's nude upper body comes to mind as Amanda briefly contemplates just how much their relationship has grown over the past couple of years and hoping there is still room for more growth, an aroused and unwanted blush spreading across her cheeks when she thinks of Olivia tangled up half-naked in her sheets.
"Mama, are you and 'Manda having a fight?" Noah pipes up curiously, his little voice rising over Jesse's delighted squeal when Frannie trots back into the kitchen and swipes a hash brown right out of the toddler's hand before taking off into the living room again with the stolen treat.
"No, baby, we're not fighting," Olivia soothes instantly, and Amanda notices the other woman arching a questioning eyebrow at her when she moves away from the stove and takes a seat at the table with her own plate of food and cup of coffee. "We're just trying to come to an agreement on something."
Amanda instinctively ducks her head down as she shoves a piece of bacon into her mouth and takes a swig of the coffee that has cooled considerably, feeling as if Olivia's penetrating gaze is burning a hole right through her skull as she consumes her breakfast and tries to fight the intense blush that only seems to be growing darker. Even though this could not be a more inappropriate time to think of her boss in this respect, now that the thought has entered her mind, she can't seem to get it out no matter how hard she tries, the delicious and shocking sensation of waking up with her face pressing right into Olivia's bare breast playing on an erotic loop inside her brain.
"You okay there, Rollins?" Olivia asks in a more lighthearted tone, although Amanda can still detect that undercurrent of annoyance and seriousness mixed in with what seems to be the tiniest hint of teasing. "You look a little flushed. Are you coming down with a cold as well?"
Amanda clears her throat roughly and raises her head to look the brunette in the eye, those large chocolate orbs staring straight back at her with an intensity that makes her stomach flip over and continue with the somersaults one right after the other. She desperately tries to shake those clinging and seductive images from her mind as she and Olivia gaze unwaveringly at one another, as if each of them is waiting for the other to blink first.
"I'm fine, Liv; just a little distracted," Amanda finally murmurs in a slightly choked tone as she lowers her eyes back down to her plate of food and swirls her scrambled eggs around with her fork, willing her stomach to settle down so that she can eat properly.
"Weren't you just telling your daughter not to play with her food?" Amanda can hear the playful smirk in Olivia's tone and feels immediate concern spiking through her irritation and lust at the raspy cough that follows, setting her fork down and reaching across the table with a sigh.
"Liv, will you please just stay here?" she asks quietly, her fingers sliding over the back of the older woman's ice cold hand and squeezing gently as their eyes meet once again. "I don't want you having to take care of Noah all by yourself when you're not feeling well. And you know how busy it's going to be the second we set foot in the precinct again on Monday morning. You need to get some rest before we have to go back to work."
"Amanda, we're single mothers, this is what we do," Olivia reminds her softly, and Amanda is gratified when the lieutenant squeezes back promptly, neither one of them making a move to pull their hand away from the other. "I've done this several times in the past and I will no doubt be doing this time and time again in the future. This is just the way things are."
"But they don't have to be," Amanda insists in a low voice so the kids won't pick up on any more tension in the room. "Haven't we helped each other out plenty of times in the past? So what's different this time? What's changed?"
The second the words are out of her mouth, she knows the answer; that everything had changed the moment Olivia had taken off her shirt the night before and she had given the older woman a topless massage, not to mention waking up together that morning in their somewhat comprising position. The look on Olivia's face and her hesitation before answering suggests that the brunette has already come to the same conclusion, and she notices the other woman's gaze straying down toward their still-joined hands in the middle of the table, their fingers linked together amidst the array of breakfast food.
"Come on, Liv, just let someone take care of you for once," Amanda prods gently, scratching her fingernails lightly against Olivia's knuckles, an indescribable happiness and relief spreading through her at the brunette's softly uttered response.
"Okay, Amanda."
Later that afternoon, the bright sunshine they had been graced with at the start of the day has given way to a brisk autumn rain that drums pleasantly against the windows of the building, the light outside dimming considerably and giving the living room the shadowy look of evening as the five occupants of the apartment are currently in various stages of rest. Noah and Jesse are both sound asleep on the floor, Amanda having constructed a cozy little nest made out of pillows and blankets that they had enthusiastically curled up in to watch the children's movie that is playing on the TV screen, Frannie flitting in and out of slumber beside them and moving around restlessly as she tries to find a suitable position.
Amanda and Olivia had started out at opposite ends of the couch and have gradually moved closer to each other over the course of the film, and they are now sitting side by side in the middle of the cushions, their shoulders brushing comfortably against one another and a fuzzy blanket draped over their laps. Amanda can tell the older woman feels even more miserable now than she did that morning, although Olivia has not uttered one word of complaint so far; just sniffling and coughing from time to time as she sips on a can of ginger ale and sucks on a package of throat lozenges that Amanda had dug out of one of the kitchen draws.
When Olivia's head drifts down to rest upon her shoulder, she smiles briefly before easing an arm around the slightly shivering body of the woman next to her, pulling Olivia closer because she knows that this is her way of asking for comfort without having to verbalize it. "You doing okay there, Liv?" she whispers into her ear, feeling the heat radiating off of the curvy figure and tightening her hold around Olivia in concern.
"Yeah, I'm fine," Olivia replies unconvincingly, her face settling against Amanda's neck as she speaks and hot puffs of air steaming her skin. "I just wanted to say sorry...for last night and this morning. I know it was very inappropriate of me to take my shirt off during the massage, especially considering the way we woke up earlier..."
"Olivia, you have nothing to apologize for," Amanda answers softly, letting a hand come up to stroke tenderly through the thick dark tresses that are tickling her neck. "I should be the one apologizing for cuddling up to you while you were, um...topless. I didn't realize we had changed positions during the night."
"Amanda, I'm your boss," Olivia says abruptly, lifting her head up and leaning back slightly so they are looking one another in the eye, brown eyes locking intently onto blue. "What we're doing with each other-"
"What we're doing with each other is no one's business but our own," Amanda cuts in sharply, her tone changing swiftly as she is suddenly terrified of where this conversation might be leading and that Olivia might decide to end things completely; the older woman's confusion and unease with their changing relationship possibly driving her away entirely. "And this has nothing to do with work, Liv. It's simply one friend helping out another in her time of need. That's all."
Amanda knows that this explanation is mostly untruthful; that she is indeed helping out a friend but that it goes far beyond that, at least for her; and is awaiting Olivia's response with a growing trepidation when the brunette suddenly begins coughing loudly, bending over at the waist as if unable to catch her breath. Amanda immediately straightens up from her slumped position against the couch cushions and rubs a firm hand up and down Olivia's back as she waits for the other woman's coughing fit to subside, surprised when neither of the kids wake up and Frannie barely stirs on the floor at their feet.
"Easy there, honey," she murmurs soothingly, her heart clenching in her chest when Olivia sits up again and she sees that the lieutenant's face is flushed bright red with fever and there are tears gathered in the corners of her eyes from the force of her coughing. "Are you alright? Do you think we need to go to the doctor to get that cough checked out?"
"We?" Olivia repeats with what appears to be a mixture of exasperation and amusement, as well as something that sounds distinctly like appreciation, before letting out another prolonged cough, Amanda immediately guiding the shuddering woman to her feet and leading her into the bathroom to sit her down gently on the rim of the tub.
She closes the door behind them so they won't disturb the kids and gets down on her knees to rummage through the crowded cupboard below the sink, finally locating what she is looking for and setting it on the counter. The bottle of aromatic ointment is a topical cough medication that Amanda had used the previous winter when she had been stricken with a throat infection and had needed something to ease the pain and tightness and non-stop coughing so that she could properly care for Jesse and do her job.
"Here, Liv," she says quietly, handing the bottle over to the other woman with no small amount of hesitation as she explains that the medication can be rubbed onto her neck and chest and back as a soothing relief, realizing that this will most likely result in another removal of Olivia's shirt and trying to tamp down the desire she feels in response, chastising her raging libido for becoming active yet again in such an inappropriate situation.
Olivia slowly reaches out to take the bottle from her, their fingers brushing lightly with the action, and for several seconds their arms remain suspended in mid-air as they hold onto the medication together and gaze intently at each other, Amanda's heart quickening its pace. Despite the tension-filled conversation they have just shared, Amanda is very tempted to ask if the older woman wants any help with applying the ointment, as Olivia looks so uncharacteristically vulnerable and fragile sitting there perched on the edge of the bathtub, like she might slip to the floor at any moment in her weakened state.
Amanda is overcome with an immense amount of tenderness toward the brunette, as well as another feeling that she is too afraid to put a name to, shifting forward on the floor so she is sitting on her knees in front of Olivia and reaching up to place her hands gently on top of the other woman's thighs, rubbing light circles onto the material of her pants. "Look, I don't care if you're my boss and I'm your subordinate, alright?" she says softly, squeezing the legs that are shaking beneath her touch, but unsure if the movement is due to illness or something else. "That's just at work, but that's not who we are to each other outside of the precinct. What we share together goes so much deeper than that and if you need help with something, with anything at all, then I'm here for you, Liv. Always."
"Thank you, Amanda," Olivia whispers in a heartfelt tone as she leans forward slightly and Amanda sits up on her knees to meet her halfway, their arms winding around one another's backs and their chins resting upon each other's shoulders, and she knows without a doubt that she is head over heels for this woman, her intense feelings for Olivia only strengthening with every moment they spend together.