"How can you judge the worth of a man by what he builds or buys? You can never see through the eyes. Look at your life through Heaven's Eyes." _Jethro in Moses, Prince of Egypt
As they leaned against the wall of the empty room, listening to the ticking of the clock, time seemed to stand to a still. A minute seemed as long as an hour, an hour seemed as long as a day, a day seemed as long as an eternity.
Up until now, Nicholas assured his family the White Army would liberate them at any moment and there was still good and humanity in the Bolsheviks-a spark of the Divine, the Lord had printed on their hearts which they could not escape, even if they tried. He knew in his heart it was hopeless but he couldn't bear to see his family in despair even though they had every reason to be.
If only he could have been as strong and wise as his father and grandfather before him. Was it entirely his fault? Or had fate simply outmanuvered him? Why did his country abandon him for this new antichrist? Was God punishing Russia as he did the Israelites when they forsook him for foreign gods? Did he allow this to happen so his people would return to him? How he wished, he could turn back time, muster the few remants loyal to him and storm the palace of Moscow beside his brother, with drawn swords so they could die a noble death.
So many times had he crossed the threshold of his palace where the great portraits of his ancestors hung, knowing his own likeness would join them one day, wondering if he could ever live up to their legacy. Now he would join them not on the great wall, but in the spirit.
"Why did it have to end like this?"
A soft, silvery voice broke the silence. It was Alexis, clutching his father's soft, strong arms.
Alexis had always been prone to a melancholy disposition, in part due to his condition, and now due to their impending doom. Nicholas would not see him falter now. He had failed his country, perhaps but he would not fail his family.
"End?" he said with a smile and a twinkle in his eyes. "No child. Death is only a path we all must take...And he showed me a pure river of the water of life, clear as crystal, proceeding from the throne of God and of the Lamb. In the midst of the street, and on either side of the river, stood the tree of life, which bore twelve manner of fruits and yielded her fruit every month: and the leaves of the tree were for the healing of the nations. And there shall be no more curse: but the throne of God and of the Lamb shall be in it; and his servants shall serve him. And they shall see his face; and his name shall be on their foreheads. And there shall be no night; and they shall need no candle, neither shall they need the light of the sun; for the Lord God giveth them light: and they shall reign with him...for ever and ever."
Alexis smiled, weakly.
"Well..that isn't so bad."
Nicholas pressed his head against his son's and gave him a king's kiss.
"No child...No it isn't."
He looked around to see his wife and daughters smiling and holding hands and knew in his heart, his administration as a husband and father had not been in vain and this was something any man could take pride in from the lowest of paupers to the highest of kings. For true greatness is not found in prosperity or success, but the enrichment of the soul.
He took a deep breath, crossed himself and closed his eyes.
"Father, Son and Holy Spirit, Holy Mary, Mother of God and Holy Apostles...watch over my mother and sisters and their families and my brother's family...I go to my forefathers...in whose mighty company...I shall now not feel ashamed."