Part one...part two coming soon if people like it so far!
Rory was visiting Logan in London so Christmas was postponed until she returned, Christopher took GiGi to spend Christmas Day with Francine and Lorelai tried her best to forget it was Christmas Day! As she was driving to the Dragonfly, she was flicking through the radio trying to dodge the Christmas happiness but suddenly she stopped and heard the lyrics "it will be lonely this Christmas". Instantly her mind went straight to thinking about Luke (it didn't take much for him to enter her thoughts). She knew April was spending Christmas with her mom courtesy of Babette and Miss Patty and she felt sick at the thought of Luke being alone in his apartment today of all day's. This should have been their first Christmas Day as a married couple and now Lorelai was married, but to the wrong guy. "How the hell did I end up here?" Lorelai murmured to herself. Lorelai took a deep breath, tried to shake off this horrible nagging feeling in her gut, but couldn't….she had made up her mind, she was going to check in on Luke.
When she arrived outside the Diner, it was closed and there was no sign of Luke. She looked up to his apartment and saw a small light on. Hesitantly she took the key from the "secret"hiding place that all of Stars Hallow knew and unlocked the door. She could feel herself shaking when she opened up the door, "here goes" she thought, she entered the diner, for the first time since she offered Luke the ultimatum, she closed the door and locked it behind her. She walked through the familiar curtains and made her way up the stairs. Battling with emotions and questions about whether Luke would even want to see her. When she reached his apartment, she straightened out her clothes, pulled herself together and lightly tapped on the glass.
"Who is it?" she heard Luke grumble,
"It's Lorelai, can I come in?" she asked.
Luke was confused, why on earth was Lorelai here. He was not in the mood to see if deal with her, especially not today!
"No, go and spend Christmas with your husband" he spat,
Lorelai didn't listen and she let herself into his apartment. She looked around, she saw the kitchen where he used to cook for her, the sofa where they used to cuddle up whilst watching films and his bed….the memories of the things they did in that bed made her blush slightly. She looked at Luke sitting by the table nursing a beer in his hand, refusing to look at her.
"Mind if I grab one of those?" Lorelai asked, pointing to the beer,
"What do you want Lorelai?"
"Erm….a beer?" she laughed nervously,
"No, I mean why are you here?"
"I wanted to make sure you were ok, Babette and Miss Patty told me that April was with her mom for Christmas and I didn't like the thought of you being here alone…."
"Well you should have thought of that before you screwed your ex and then married him…."
"You're right….I'm sorry….I should go….."
"Lorelai….wait, look I'm sorry ok, I'm just having a rough day today". Lorelai looked at Luke properly for the first time in months, looked into those beautiful blue eyes of his and saw they were pooled with tears about to fall. She nervously walked over to him and sat on the chair nearest to him.
"Speaking of that asshole where is he?" Luke scoffed,
"Erm…he's with Gigi at his moms doing the whole Christmas Day thing. Erm….Rory is in London with Logan and I'm really not in the Christmassy mood so I told Chris to spend the day with his mom and we'll do our own thing once Rory is home".
"Ah right" Luke replied stopping the conversation short.
An awkward silence filled the room and Lorelai played with her hands and Luke pulled the label off his beer, Luke coughed nervously and started to speak…"you know hurts the most today Lorelai? I keep thinking that today would have been our first Christmas as a married couple, I'd have liked you to be pregnant with our baby, Rory and April would have been there…..last Christmas I never thought in a million years that you'd be married to someone else and I'd be alone again"
Lorelai felt herself getting angry, how dare we make her feel bad. She wasn't going to hide anymore, she was going to tell him exactly how she felt…
"Then I guess you shouldn't have postponed our wedding Luke, or lied about your daughter, hurt me every day for months and said no when I asked you to elope. You wanted that dream Luke? Well all you had to say was Yes! I was ready, damn it Luke, I wanted to be Mrs Luke Danes more than I've ever wanted anything in my whole life, you are the only man I've ever been in love with, and I asked you to marry….."
"Don't you mean the only man you had ever been in love with, besides Christopher?, I mean you're married to him, so that would imply that you love him…?" Luke interrupted her flow,
"Oh erm…yes…sure besides Christopher….I mean…yes of course I care about him…."
"Lorelai, I didn't mention the words care about, I mentioned the word love. You do love Christopher right?"
"Yes sure I do" Lorelai took a deep breath "I'm just not in love with him, not the way I'm in love with you, I mean was in love with you. I've never felt that way with anyone else, you know that, which is why it still hurts Luke".