Prologue
In a world filled with angst and worry, anxiety grows at an alarming rate as misinformation spreads like wildfire in a dry forest. More children are diagnosed with autism, whether from the environment or the mother passing a gene to the child. Some studies showed a correlation between autism and pregnant women contracting the flu during the first trimester. Other studies disputed the claim.
Who was right? Unfortunately, nobody knows the answer. Everything the researchers could prove, they could also dispute. Both sides, the far right and far left believers, only take what they want from the studies to confirm their biases.
Why was I internally discussing these things? I don't know. It might have to do with my relationship with Ricardo Carlos Manoso. I should have said it has everything to do with my relationship with Ranger. Everything I knew about Ranger was through hearsay and speculation. In other words, I know nothing about Ricardo Carlos Manoso, my best friend, mentor, and one-time lover.
I missed Ranger more than I thought possible. He doesn't know that I have a part of him with me forever.
"Mama," Mateo cried, sounding scared. It wasn't like him to wake up screaming.
"I've got him," Diesel said, popping into the living room and scaring the shit out of me.
"Why are you here?" I demanded.
"Ranger's getting close to our location," he replied. I rolled my eyes, wondering why Ranger thought I belonged to him after he sent me back to Morelli. Ranger only wanted my body for one night, likely giving in to the sexual tension between us. After that magical night, I knew I was head over heels in love with him. Sure, I loved and missed him, but he didn't want me. At least, that was how I interpreted his last words.
"We shared one magical night, Diesel. He sent me back to Morelli. How am I supposed to forgive him for that?" I asked. Diesel placed my two-year-old son in my arms.
Mateo nuzzled into my neck as I rubbed comforting circles on his back. "Did you have a bad dream?" Diesel asked Mateo, squatting to look directly into his eyes at his level.
Peeking through my hair at his godfather, Mateo cried, "Ya. A scary man took me."
I removed my phone from my back pocket to show Mateo pictures of the Merry Men and Ranger. He had seen pictures of his dad and some of my Rangeman friends, but I had Diesel get me pictures of all the guys, which he did the last time he visited Trenton.
"Mateo, I'm going to show you some pictures. Could you tell me if one of the guys is the scary man?" I asked. Mateo nodded. I kissed his cheek and turned him to sit on my lap with his back to my chest. God, please don't let the scary man be one of my friends.
After taking a few deep breaths, I swiped through the pictures, starting with Ranger. "Daddy," Mateo said when he saw Ranger's picture. I might have left Trenton after discovering I was pregnant, but I refused to keep Mateo's paternity a secret from him.
"Did you dream about Daddy?" I asked. Mateo shook his head. I showed him pictures of all the guys I knew from Rangeman, but Mateo didn't recognize anyone.
The front door burst open before I could show him the pictures of my old skips. "Him!" Mateo screamed. The man wore an eyepatch covering his left eye. A scar was visible above the patch, making him resemble a Caucasian version of Nick Fury. I caught a skull tattoo with a flower tattoo on his neck. Diesel touched my shoulder and popped us into a new location.
Chapter 1
It was too early in the morning. Ranger's watch alarm sounded, waking us up. Keeping my eyes closed, I hoped Ranger would dismiss the alarm and stay in bed with me. I felt Ranger leave my bed to get dressed. Looking at my alarm clock, I noticed it was five. "Where are you going?" I asked, sitting up. I heard my throat was raspy, having screamed Ranger's name as he wrung orgasm after orgasm from my body. The blanket fell to my waist, exposing the breasts Ranger worshiped many times during the night.
Ranger glanced at my chest before looking into my eyes. He slipped his feet into his CAT boots and bent to tie them. "I have to go," Ranger said. Without so much as a kiss on my lips, he was gone. Poof…like magic.
Feeling used by the man of mystery, I went to the bathroom to shower. I turned on the water, and it was as hot as I could stand it. When the water hit my face, I cried. I never should have accepted the DeChooch deal, but it was the only way I would have guilt-free sex with Ranger. Never in my life could I have guessed it would harm my soul.
What would my mom and my friends think? Lula and Connie would ask for details, and my mom would lament, "Why me?" and "What would the neighbours think," while spreading the rumour of her youngest daughter selling herself for sexual favours.
I was frustrated at myself for making the deal and letting Ranger collect; I stripped the blankets off my bed to wash away Ranger's scent. I noticed a crusty, white spot on my dark blue sheets. "Shit!" I gasped before searching the garbage cans for foil packages. Three. I found three packages. Ranger and I had sex four times. Shit! I silently prayed for my period to start on time. How could we have been so careless? I wasn't on birth control. Then I remembered our fourth time was at two in the morning. I woke up with his erection pressed against my back. It was too tempting to wiggle my ass until he slipped inside me. Neither of us thought to stop to use protection. For once, I couldn't claim it wasn't my fault. Ranger and I were responsible for our actions. If I got pregnant, it was my fault for not going on birth control and not insisting on using a condom.
"What should I do?" I wondered aloud. As though she suspected I needed some happiness, Grandma Mazur called.
"Hi, baby granddaughter," Grandma Edna said when I answered the call. Her familiar greeting made me smile. It was already eleven, and I wondered where the time had gone. Grandma had never called me this early. Fear and concern coursed through my body.
"Hi, Grandma. Is something wrong?" I asked, trying to keep myself from freaking out.
Grandma giggled, "Everything's fine, Stephie. Your mother just made a double chocolate fudge cake. We have leftover meatloaf for sandwiches."
"I don't know, Grandma," I said, "I have laundry."
"Bring it over. I'll help you wash your sheets," Grandma said, making my face turn bright red as I thought about the stains on my bedding. My stomach chose that moment to give a roar so loud that I doubted it went unnoticed. "You're hungry, and we have a lot of food."
"Okay, I'll come over to do laundry and eat lunch," I acquiesced.
I grabbed my two hampers, which were overflowing with laundry. One contained my sheets and blankets, and the other contained my dirty clothes and towels. I tucked my laundry soap and dryer sheets into the basket with the sheets.
It didn't take long to carry the hampers to the car. I shoved them into the back seat and thanked God they didn't spill. When the traffic cooperated, my parents' house was only ten minutes from my apartment. Unfortunately, today, I wasn't that lucky.
A black Rangeman SUV followed me until I turned onto Roosevelt. Does Ranger have someone watching my apartment? If he does, why would he bother? Ranger doesn't want me; otherwise, he wouldn't have told me to fix my relationship with Joe.
Why won't I heed that advice? The answer was simple. I caught him having sex on his couch with Terry Gilman a few weeks earlier. When my previous piece of crap car joined the others in car heaven the following afternoon, I ended our relationship. Trying to force something to work between Joe and me was futile. We broke up and reconnected many times. I often wondered if he intentionally started a fight to break up with me. Joe knew how to push my buttons.
Grandma opened the door and rushed outside to help me carry the laundry into the house. We took them to the basement and emptied the hamper containing my sheets into the washing machine. Grandma measured the laundry detergent and dumped it on the blankets. I closed the lid and turned the dial for the heavy-duty wash.
Before I could ascend the stairs, Grandma tugged on my arm. "What's making you sad?" she sympathetically asked.
I was reluctant to answer, but I found myself telling Grandma about the situation. She patted my arm during the tricky parts and my concern about getting pregnant. "What should I do?" I asked Grandma.
She sat on the third step from the bottom and tapped the spot beside her. I sat and patiently waited for Grandma to unleash her sage advice. "Stephie, don't count your chicks before they hatch. You have two ways to handle this situation. One, you stay here regardless of the outcome or leave within the next few days."
"What would leaving prove?" I asked. "Everyone will think I'm pregnant with Joe's baby." Those words made my skin erupt in goosebumps, and I shuddered in disgust and fear. "What would I do for money?"
"Don't worry about it, Stephanie. I have your inheritance money in my safe deposit box at the bank. When you decide to leave, I'll get it," Grandma promised.
"What?" I stammered.
"Your grandfather, Harry, wanted you to have the money," Grandma said. "We gave Valerie her inheritance to move to LA with that good-for-nothing cheating, lying ex-husband of hers."
"Grandma, Ranger and his men would find me. I know Ranger gets them to place trackers on my vehicle," I sighed. "They can find me anywhere if I missed locating a tracker."
"How do you know?" she asked, gently tucking a loose curl behind my ear. I smiled when she touched my cheek. My family never showed signs of affection. Whenever they did, I absorbed it like dry soil on a rainy day.
"They arrive on the scene before anyone calls 9-1-1," I explained. "How would they know where I am unless I'm being traced or followed?"
"That isn't right, Stephie. I think you should leave in a few days. You have a right to privacy," she replied. Grandma was right. But do I want to leave before taking a pregnancy test? No.
"Unless something happens, I'll stay here, Grandma. Besides, I don't have any privacy since the Burg grapevine enjoys spreading stories about me," I bitterly said while glaring at her. She was one of the women spreading gossip about me in the Clip 'N Curl.
"I'll keep this conversation to myself," she promised. Grandma patted my knee, then used the railing to stand. I stood up and followed her up the stairs, where Mom was making our sandwiches for lunch.
I sat at the table closest to the exit for the dining room. Mom smiled and set a plate in front of me. "Would you like something to drink?" she asked.
"Beer," I replied. Mom turned to grab the drinks from the refrigerator. I waited until Mom sat at the table before eating my sandwich. We remained silent until our plates were empty. Mom grabbed my plate and replaced it with one containing a large wedge of chocolate fudge cake. "Did you use Mrs. Brewer's recipe?" I asked.
Smiling, Mom replied, "It's her son David's recipe. The cake is delicious. He missed his culinary calling. David could open a bakery, and people would line up to sample this moist masterpiece."
"I agree," I said while licking the rest of the chocolate from my fork. "Thanks for lunch, Mom."
Mom touched my shoulder as she collected the plate and fork. "You're welcome. The washer should have stopped." I nodded and excused myself from the table. Before opening the door leading to the basement, I washed my hands in the kitchen sink, using the towel Mom passed me to dry them. "Take that one downstairs with you. I'll wash it later."
I took the tea towel to the basement, dropping it into the hamper with the other one from this morning. Pulling my bedding from the washer and pushing them into the dryer only took a few minutes. I checked the pockets of my jeans and sweatpants to ensure I didn't leave bits of paper or wrappers behind. Mom would freak out if I clogged the washer's drain hose with damp, wadded paper.
Finding empty pockets, I arranged the clothes in the washer and dumped laundry soap on top. I closed the washer's lid with a satisfied sigh. Mom or Grandma would monitor my laundry while I went after another skip. If Connie had more files for me, I could pick them up tomorrow. I needed to consider my options.
"Mom, Grandma, I have to go," I said. "Dougie and Mooner missed their court date a few days ago. I need to take them to get re-bonded."
"You need a different job," Mom said instead of saying goodbye. I rolled my eyes and waved over my shoulder.
Grandma followed me to the door. "I'll call when your laundry is done," Grandma promised.
"Thanks," I whispered. "For everything." Grandma touched my arm, giving it a slight squeeze before I opened the door.
"Let me know what you've decided," Grandma said. I nodded and stepped onto the porch.
Turning my face to the sun, I prayed that everything would work out for the best. What was the best-case scenario? Ranger telling me our night together meant as much to him as it did to me. Worst case? Ranger telling me the night was all it was - one night.
When I left my parents' house, I felt someone watching me. I glanced around but didn't see any Rangeman vehicles. They wouldn't bother me during a visit, but whoever was watching gave me the creeps.