Chapter 11
Buck and Diana were joyfully welcomed by the family upon their return and Rachel wanted to celebrate with a dinner together. The couple talked about their stay at the camp and Diana said that she had learned to cook Kiowa dishes and when Kid and Lou returned she would invite everyone to her and Buck's house to let them try them.
"Well, I think you'll have to wait a bit, tomorrow Jimmy and I will leave to join them because we heard that there is trouble in the city where they stopped and we have to go and give them a hand. And to think it was supposed to be a pleasure trip...", Teaspoon informed them.
"But are they okay?", Diana asked worriedly.
"I think so but I want to resolve this as soon as possible, those two need time together without problems to reflect on their lives", added the marshal.
"But enough about this, then, Buck, how do you feel?", Teaspoon asked again.
"Better, Teaspoon, definitely better. The wound from Ike's death will never heal, but I understood that I have to let go of that pain that oppressed my heart, otherwise I will also ruin my marriage and Ike wouldn't have wanted that. I had the opportunity to reflect, pray and meditate and my brother was a great help to me. I will never thank my sweet wife enough for convincing me to take this trip" and kissed her softly.
"Ah, here they go again", Cody commented and everyone burst out laughing.
"I'm so glad you're better, Buck, I was seriously worried about you", Rachel said.
"Ike will always be in my heart, but life goes on", Buck commented.
"Ah, I almost forgot", Noah intervened, "a letter arrived for you the other day, I put it on the table in your living room", Noah informed him.
"Thanks, but who could it be?", asked Buck curiously.
"Let's go and find out", Diana suggested.
They said goodbye to everyone and went home. Buck took the letter and was amazed and surprised. He waited a moment before opening it, as if afraid of its contents.
"Whose treasure is it?", asked Diana, curious about her husband's reaction.
"It's from an old friend who I haven't seen or heard from in years"
"Well, read it, what are you doing so stuck? I'll go up and freshen up, I'll wait for you in bed"
Buck nodded almost without understanding what Diana was telling him. He sat on the sofa and opened the letter, but waited a moment longer before reading it, he first wanted to recall all the memories involving Little Bird or Camille, as she called herself now that she lived among the whites.
After reading the letter, Buck was a little upset and went upstairs to inform Diana of the contents. He found her in bed reading a book.
Buck didn't want to disturb her and began to undress without saying a word. Diana looked up from the book and, seeing her husband so silent, asked him: "Buck, is everything okay? It seems like that letter upset you."
He sat down on the bed next to her and said: "It's so darling. Camille, a white girl who lived at our Kiowa camp, wrote to me after her family was rescued from an ambush. I haven't seen or heard from her in several years and now she has tracked me down and is coming to visit me here in Rock Creek in a couple of weeks. She is going to St. Joseph to get married and live there and wants to see me to say hello"
"Well, that's great, what's the problem?"
Buck wanted to be totally honest with her: "Well, Little Bird, that's what we called her in camp, she didn't leave spontaneously. One day the men and we boys were out hunting when soldiers arrived in the camp and attacked women, children and the elderly. When they realized that Little Bird was white, they took her away with them. When we returned to the camp we found a massacre and she was no longer there. I haven't heard from her since."
"Oh, Buck, I'm sorry, but it's nice that you can meet again now."
"I carry within me the remorse of not having been there to protect her that day, if I had been there things perhaps would have been different"
Diana understood that there was something else behind those words. She said nothing but looked at her husband. He looked back and saw in her eyes what Diana was feeling and thinking.
"Diana, there's more"
"I thought… I'm here if you want to talk about it"
"Little Bird and I were engaged, we were supposed to get married. If she hadn't been taken away, she would be my wife now."
Diana felt herself sinking into the abyss. Not again, not now that maybe… She had to understand how Buck felt, so she steeled herself and asked him: "Do you regret not being her husband?"
Buck saw all the suffering on his wife's face and felt terrible: he was making her suffer again, after Kathleen, after Ike and after what she had done for him. He felt ungrateful and an idiot.
"No, but I regret not having been able to decide my future then", he answered her sincerely.
She nodded and told him: "When she arrives you will have a chance to clarify everything. Goodnight" and she lay down in bed with her back to him.
Buck remained helpless in the face of what was happening and simply said: "Goodnight Diana" and lay down next to her, hugging her.
Diana remained silent until she heard that Buck had fallen asleep, then she allowed herself to vent all her bitterness. She began to cry silently, thinking that maybe Buck still had feelings for that woman, since everything between them was left on hold. She found herself hating her deep down: if she hadn't been looking for him all this time, why do it now? Couldn't she just go about her life and leave him alone? She certainly hadn't imagined their return home like this...
The next morning, she woke up before Buck, got up and went down to make breakfast. When he woke up and didn't see her next to him, he felt his heart ache: he knew he had hurt her with his story, again. He put on his pants and got out. He found her in the kitchen setting the table.
"Good morning, I would have woken you up in a moment"
He approached her and kissed her, trying to pretend nothing happened and avoid the topic.
She kissed him back and decided to go along with her husband's behavior. All too soon they would have to face the problem.
"What are your plans for today?", Buck asked her.
"I have to go to Reverend Gable, Rachel told me yesterday that he was looking for me. In the meantime I'll take Jesse to school and pick up some supplies at Thompkins before heading to the newspaper. You?"
"If you want I'll accompany you, I just have to look after the horses and tidy up the stable, I can do it while you're at the newspaper"
"As you like "
Buck felt her cold, as she had never been, not even in the darkest moments. He couldn't stick to his purpose and said to her: "Diana, I know you're suffering again because of me and I'm sorry. You are the last person in the world I would like to see suffer. I absolutely do not deny our history, our love and our marriage, I love you to death, but knowing about Camille destabilized me"
"I know Buck, I know, but I feel so... so... I don't know either, insecure, too much, I don't know. I just know I wouldn't want to feel like this. I love you and I want a happy marriage, I don't want to feel like second choice again..."
"You're not a second choice darling, you're the love of my life" and he took her into his arms. She looked at him with tears in her eyes and he felt his heart pierced.
He picked her up and said: "I want to make love to you now" and took her to their room. They loved each other sweetly and then Buck held her in his arms and reassured her: "My future is with you, never doubt it."
She kissed him and nodded.
They went down to breakfast and then he drove her and Jesse into town.
"Do you want me to take you to the reverend?", he asked her.
"No, it's not necessary. Will you come and pick me up at the newspaper later? "
"Certain. I love you. See you later"
"I love you too"
The reverend greeted her and said: "I'm glad you came right away, I have to make you a proposal. Next month you could be the new teacher if you want, as I told you, the current one, being elderly, will leave her job"
Diana was enthusiastic about it at the time, but then she made some quick considerations to herself that led her to respond negatively to the reverend, but added: "Why don't you propose it to Rachel? Even though she hasn't studied, she is very cultured and in my opinion very qualified. I see her at home when she helps Jesse study and do his homework, she's fantastic."
"I will talk about it with the parish committee and I will evaluate"
They said goodbye and Diana went to work.
Upon her return she spoke to Rachel about the proposal made to the reverend and said that Teaspoon would agree.
"Oh you didn't have to Diana, I'm not qualified, you're the teacher", Rachel protested.
"Now is not the time for me and you are the best teacher Rock Creek could have"
Rachel thought about it and then happily accepted, hoping that the committee would agree.
A few days later, Lou, Kid, Jimmy and Teaspoon returned from the trip with a nice surprise: "Kid asked me to marry him and I said yes".
Rachel and Diana congratulated the couple first, followed by everyone else.
Diana invited everyone, as promised, to her and Buck's house the following evening to celebrate and to let them taste the dishes she had learned to cook in the Kiowa camp.
When they tasted her dishes, everyone complimented the cook on her skill. Diana was happy about this and then asked Lou: "But you still haven't told us when you're getting married!"
" We were thinking in the first week of October and would like Teaspoon to have the wedding. Obviously we would like you and Rachel as bridesmaids and…Jimmy, would you walk me down the aisle?", Lou asked.
Teaspoon immediately accepted with pleasure, Jimmy however was a little uncertain but then said yes.
Buck also announced Camille's arrival and explained who she was, without going into detail. Rachel saw Diana darken and as she helped her put away the dishes, she asked her: "Diana, is everything okay with you and Buck?"
"Yes, Rachel, don't worry, everything is fine. I just wish Camille wouldn't come."
"Diana, Buck loves you, you know that, you don't have to worry about an old friend."
Diana explained to her how things were but she reiterated: "You and Buck are a perfect couple, nothing can separate you"
"I hope so Rachel, I sure hope so."
Rachel hugged her.
The days passed quickly and the next day Camille would arrive. While she was at the newspaper, Diana felt a little dizzy which she attributed to the anxiety of the situation, but she preferred to go to the doctor to make sure everything was okay. The doctor confirmed that everything was fine and that she was fine. He told her to come back for a check-up in the next few months…
Diana decided not to tell Buck anything about the doctor's visit, at least until Camille left.
The next day Buck was very tense and Diana preferred not to say anything to him. They were in the bunkhouse and he was still fixing his hair in the mirror when Cody came in to say she had arrived. Buck rushed out to greet her and meet Billy, her future husband. The two hugged and Buck noticed that the woman had a small wound on her head but she justified it by saying that it was nothing, she had just fallen the night before.
After he met Billy, Buck called Diana: "Diana, honey, come, let me introduce you to my friend Camille, who I told you about"
Diana with bated breath approached Buck who said to the guests: "Meet my wife Diana"
"Your wife, how beautiful! I didn't know you were married! Nice to meet you, Diana"
"My pleasure Camille. Billy" and they shook hands.
Buck wanted to put them up for the night but Billy said they would be fine in the hotel. A bit of tension immediately arose between the two. Rachel got them all to have dinner together but during dinner Camille fainted. Kid went to call the doctor who kept her in his office because she had a high fever and was delirious.
Buck didn't sleep all night and went to her the next morning. The doctor worriedly told him that she had been saying strange words all night and although Billy didn't agree, he invited him to come in to try to understand. Camille spoke Indian words from an ancient language that Buck couldn't understand. He talked about it with Teaspoon but he didn't know anything about it either.
Diana, after having sorted things out with the newspaper, went to the doctor and while she was on her way to his office, she saw Buck talking to an old Indian and became curious. She reached him as the two were parting and asked: "How is Camille and who is that man?"
"Camille is not well and that man claims she is at the mercy of an evil spirit"
"What? And do you believe him?"
"I don't know, I don't know anything anymore Diana. I'm very worried though."
"I know, you tossed and turned in bed all night"
Buck kissed her on the head and said: "I'm sorry, honey."
"We hope Camille gets well soon"
Diana returned to the newspaper and in the evening, after dinner, she saw Buck restless.
"What is it Buck, is there any news on Camille?"
"Diana, I need to take Camille to a sacred place to heal her. That Indian will accompany me. We leave tonight. Don't say a word to anyone, they won't understand."
"What? Are you crazy? Would you like to kidnap her and go on a trip with that old man? With Camille in those conditions?"
"Trust me, please"
"No, I won't let you do such a foolish thing."
"I have to do it, I owe it to her, I have to save her at least this time or I will never get rid of remorse again"
He took her hands and said: "Please, don't betray me"
"Only if you take me with you"
"What? No! It is too dangerous!"
"You won't expect me to stay at home waiting for you while you go wandering around the prairie with your ex-girlfriend and some sort of Indian shaman I hope!"
"Diana, please! Now I have to go. Don't betray me, please."
He kissed her quickly and left.
Diana remained standing still, digesting what was happening. She recovered shortly after and said to herself: "I can't allow it, Buck, I know you will be angry, but I will follow you like I did that time you had to save Amanda"
She waited until she heard Buck's horse move away, then she put on a pair of comfortable trousers that wouldn't be too tight at the waist, saddled Spirit and followed him.
She saw him take Camille while the old Indian distracted the doctor's daughter who was watching over her. He loaded her onto a wagon and they set off hastily. Diana followed them. They rode all night, she was exhausted and worried about her health, but she didn't stop. When they camped to rest, Diana crouched behind a nearby bush. Buck and the old man talked about Camille and what she was risking and when the Indian asked Buck if he was willing to do anything to save her, Buck replied yes because he loved her. Those words were like a knife in Diana's gut. She didn't hesitate for a moment and ran away. Unfortunately she couldn't hear Buck saying: "I love her not like a man loves a woman, all my love is for my wife, but I have a deep affection for her and I'm willing to do anything to save her"
Diana retrieved Spirit and galloped home crying and in deep pain. How could he have deceived her like that? He had sworn to her that he loved her and would never leave her and now he said he loved someone else.
She arrived home without even realizing it and saw that Billy was talking to Noah, Teaspoon, Kid and Lou. She composed herself and joined them.
"Oh, Diana, have you seen Buck? He and Camille seem to have disappeared"
"I know exactly where they are. Buck is taking care of her. Don't worry, Billy, he'll save her."
Billy demanded to know where they were and Diana, cornered, had to tell him. Billy, Noah, Kid and Lou left to join them, while Diana went to the newspaper to say that she would be working from home that day because she wasn't feeling well.
She went home, grabbed a bag, put some clothes in it and headed to the hotel where she got a room.
She threw herself on the bed and vented all her pain.
When Rachel didn't see her come home, she got worried. She went to her house and saw the closet open, with some empty spaces. She understood immediately and tried to go to the hotel where she confirmed that she was staying there.
She knocked on her door.
"Who is? ", she heard a faint reply from inside.
"Honey, I'm Rachel, let me in."
"Go away, Rachel, I want to be alone"
"You don't have to be alone, just know that I won't leave and I will spend the night out here if I have to. You know I will."
Shortly after she heard the door open. She was shocked to see her friend's red and suffering face.
Diana told her what had happened and Rachel said to her: "Diana, you must have misunderstood, Buck would never give up on your love"
"Rachel, what is not clear in the words I love her ?"
Rachel didn't say anything but held her in her arms. She had inform Teaspoon that she would be sleeping in the hotel with Diana.
The next morning she said to her: "Diana, let's go home, Buck will be coming back"
"No Rachel, I'll stay here. I don't have the strength to face him. I need to be alone, please leave me"
"Okay, but I'll be back in the afternoon" and left.
Meanwhile, Buck, Camille, and the others returned to the station late in the morning. Camille was fine: Buck, following the old shaman's instructions, had freed her from the evil spirit and had made peace with Billy. He had closed all the loose ends with the past and had wished them a happy life.
"I'd like to say goodbye to Diana before I go, may I?" asked Little Bird.
"Diana's not here", Rachel said.
"How is she not here? Today the newspaper is closed. Where is she?", asked Buck, alarmed.
"I think you and I need to talk Buck. Camille, Billy, if you want you can wait at my house"
"Unfortunately we have to take the stagecoach, we can't stop. Say hello to Diana, Buck and I hope I haven't caused you any trouble", Camille replied.
"No, Diana and I love each other, we will solve everything, don't worry. Best wishes for your wedding. Maybe we'll write to each other. I have to go now, excuse me" and followed Rachel into the house.
"So, where is Diana?"
"She is in the hotel, destroyed by pain"
"But I explained to her…"
"Buck, she followed you and heard you say that you love Camille"
"What? But I didn't… Oh no, she must have only heard part of the conversation. It's true that I told the shaman that I love her, but I added that it's not love I feel for Diana, just a deep affection for a person who was important in my life."
"Maybe you should go and explain it to her, she's suffering a lot and doesn't deserve it"
Buck stormed out and went to the hotel.
He knocked on her door and almost shouted: "Diana, darling, open up, let me in please, I have to talk to you. You misunderstood, you left before hearing the rest of the speech, please"
Diana didn't want to open the door, but Buck's last words intrigued her.
When Buck saw her he felt like dying. Her eyes were red from crying and she was upset. Diana said nothing, just let him in. He took her hands and said: "Let's sit down and let me explain. I know you heard me say I love Camille, but you probably left before I continued talking. I told that man that I love her like I love a dear friend who has played an important role in my life, it has nothing to do with the love I feel for you, believe me, please"
She looked at him in surprise but said nothing.
"Darling, I love you, believe me, there is no one else I would want next to me. Talk to me please"
Diana seemed to recover.
Her gaze darkened and with a lot of anger she said to him: "I'm tired Buck, I'm tired of always having to deal with the women from your past. Do you have any idea how I feel when someone you loved reappears? You make me feel like... like I'm a second best, a woman not fully desired. You say you love me but every time you have to resolve something that is left unsolved. Enough, I deserve a man who has no doubt that I am the woman of his life. Grow up Buck, disappointments exist in life and becoming an adult means knowing how to overcome them. Please know that I will not tolerate another similar situation. Clarify your heart before taking me back into the house with you."
Buck was stunned by his wife's outburst. For a moment he remained still and silent, then he said: "You're right, I apologize. I only thought about what I felt, I got so used to suffering for love that I didn't realize that I'm finally with a woman who deserves the best and I've disappointed you. I don't need any more time, I know for sure that I want you and no one else. Come home with me, I beg you."
Diana saw in her husband's eyes that he was sincere, that he really wanted her, but she said to him: "Just so I know, do you have any more skeletons in the closet or can I stay calm?"
Buck understood from the tone in which she pronounced those words that she believed him and replied: "No, there is no longer anyone, there is only you in my future"
"You must be really convinced of this, especially now that it will no longer be just the two of us…"
It took Buck a moment to realize what Diana had said to him: "You…you mean… The prophecy…"
Diana nodded and told him: "Yes, I heard it when your brother told us he hoped to hug his nephew soon. I felt like a tickle in my belly. The doctor confirmed this to me the other day. We are expecting a baby"
Buck held her tightly and said: "I swear you will never have to suffer because of me again, I love you and I love our baby. I'm so lucky and happy that my heart almost bursts."
Diana kissed him and they immediately felt the desire they had repressed for the last few days flare up.
"I would say that since we are in a hotel room, we could take advantage of it…"
She nodded and they made love in a demanding and passionate way.
As he held her in his arms, she told him: "I didn't even ask you how Camille is. Where is she now?"
"She's fine, I had to follow a ritual that White Feather, the shaman who guided me, taught me. She and Billy left for St. Joseph. She wanted to say hello to you. We promised to write to each other, but if this makes you suffer, I won't answer her."
"Don't worry, Buck, I will never forbid you from having relations with her. I'm proud of you and what you've done."
"By the way, how did you come up with the idea of following me, especially if you knew you were expecting a baby? "
"I couldn't let you go like that, I was like in a trance. On the other hand, the prophecy had spoken clearly and I knew that I would not harm our child."
Buck kissed her and said: "Promise me that at least during the pregnancy you won't do anything like this again."
"And don't put me in a position to do it"
Buck laughed and said to her: "What should I do with you?"
"You just have to love me"
"I already do this" and they made love again.
They then returned to the station and informed everyone that they had resolved their misunderstandings, but they said nothing about the child, they wanted to keep to themselves the immense joy they were feeling and which made them feel loved and satisfied.