AN: I'm back! Things should settle down for the next couple of weeks, though we'll see how well this holds out.

Thank you for all the support! It is very deeply appreciated!

"What the hell is this?"

Severus faced the doorway, biting back the lecture on speaking to one's employer in a respectful tone. Not that the man stomping through his front door would be intimidated by his professor persona. He hadn't backed down from an argument yet. Why would he start now?

"How should I know what that is? I cannot keep track of the many documents you encounter on a day to day basis," Severus answered in as bored a tone as possible.

"Then perhaps you can tell me who Steven and Helen are," Ricardo slapped the parchment onto the table.

Severus' heart fluttered as he read the words.

Dearest Steven.

Your letter did not arrive a second too early. In fact, it came at the perfect time. All weekend, I have yearned to see you again. It is a great relief to know that you wish to be in my presence again, for I too have dreamed about meeting you again. It is my deepest desire to dine with you once more.

It matters little how expensive or inexpensive the restaurant we dine is. So long as you are present, I will have a wonderful time. To be honest, I have wanted to dine at KoMex Fusion for years. I will meet you there next Friday at 6:00. Until then, I will see you in my dreams.

Fondly,

Helen

There was a pang in Severus' chest. In a previous letter, he had promised Helen he would dream of her. In reality, he'd had a dreamless sleep the night after they'd met, and the next night, another woman had invaded his nocturnal musings.

Severus poured himself a piña colada, wondering if he'd put in enough rum. The last thing he wanted was to ruin the flavors of the rest of the drink, though tonight a strong drink may be warranted.

"Have you ever played strip poker?"

Severus raised an eyebrow and turned around. Hermione sat at his kitchen table with a smirk and a gleam in her eyes which sent a rush of desire throughout him.

"Strip poker?" He drawled.

"Yes," She fiddled with the sleeve on her left arm, exposing a little skin. "I have always wanted to play strip poker. Can you say the same thing?"

"I have never considered playing strip poker," he admitted before his hands fell on her arm. "Though I cannot say I'm opposed to playing it with you."

"I'm not opposed to playing it with you either," she purred and leaned forward, exposing her cleavage.

"Are you certain it's wise for you to play strip poker given how often you lose our poker games?" He handed the drink to her, fighting to keep his eyes on her face. It was clear she wasn't going to make that task easy. For the sake of propriety he needed to try, less she sense how much power she had over him.

"Oh no, strip poker would motivate me to win, given that if you lose, you would strip too."

"And if I don't lose?"

"My books have given me some great strategies for winning. I trust them. Even if I lose," she held up her piña colada. "I'm sure you'll acknowledge the wisdom in allowing me to win a few hands, just so you can join in my fun."

Severus felt a rush of excitement course through him as she sipped her drink. His heart beat faster as she winked at him. Sure, she would be revolted by what she saw, but if he could behold her perfect body, then it may all be worth it.

"So," she pulled up her sleeve more, exposing more skin. Her smirk widened as she met his eyes. "Do you want to deal the cards, or should I?"

He woke up before he could give his consent. After a few moments of disorientation, he remembered he was attracted to another woman who he wished to know better and went back to sleep. Still, he woke up wondering if Hermione had ever considered playing strip poker, or how prudent it would be to broach the subject. Still, if it gave him a glimpse of her perfect body, if he was able to see what was under those long dresses and behold the beauty that was Hermione...

"Earth to Severus," Ricardo waved his hand in front of his employer's face.

Severus hushed him and motioned for him to step aside. Once Ricardo did so, Severus began staring out the window. Hermione strolled by, wand in hand, undoing the wards on her store.

"Oh my goodness," Ricardo exhaled.

"Is there a reason you are in such a snit today?" Severus' voice was soft and distant as he watched Hermione open her door, his mind wandering once more to the dream Hermione's offer of strip poker. It was highly improper to wonder if his best friend was willing to play strip poker. Yet his brain was in no mood to be a gentleman today, not when he could be with the most beautiful woman he knew...

She turned and waved at him. His lips curled upwards. Part of him hoped there was heat in the expression, though he suspected it was more like the expression of a lovesick schoolboy. Not that he was lovesick! No, sexual attractions happened to platonic friends, or so he'd been told...

"When you said you wanted to Polyjuice yourself to look like me, you said it was for a business venture, not a blind date," Ricardo began.

"I know," Severus kept his eye on the door where Hermione had entered, seeing as best he could through her window to ensure she was not interrupted as she prepared for her work day.

"Then why did you get this letter?" Ricardo pointed to the parchment.

"Because," Severus turned to Ricardo as the gentleness evaporated from his eyes. "Draco lied to me about it being a meeting with a business associate. Instead, it was a blind date."

"Oh," Ricardo's eyes fell on the letter. "I take it that everything went well."

"Much better than expected," Severus' lips curled up.

"Which is why you were staring at Hermione like she was the finest fillet mignon on the Strip."

The color drained from Severus' face.

"Let me get this straight," Ricardo spoke to him as if he was a misbehaving four year old, "Things went so well with Helen that you wrote her asking for another date, despite your feelings for Hermione."

"My feelings for Hermione exist only in your head."

Ricardo groaned.

"How do you know Helen wrote me anyway?" Severus demanded.

"Joseph opened the letter without looking at who it was addressed to," Ricardo answered. "At first, we thought it was a prank by one of his co-workers or a letter from an overzealous fan. Then we saw the names. We spent at least ten minutes trying to discern why anyone would call him Steven. Afterwards, we wondered who Steven could have been so we could deliver the letter to its rightful recipient. It wasn't until I remembered you had used the Polyjuice for your meeting on Friday that we figured out who the letter was intended for."

"As you can see," there was a softness in Severus' eyes. "The name of my date was Helen, and I went under the name Steven."

"So I take it you're meeting with her on Friday?"

"I am."

"That's going to be fun," Ricardo pinched the bridge of his nose.

"What is that supposed to mean?" Severus' voice regained its edge.

"It means you're going to have to admit that you used Polyjuice potion during your first date. Then again," Ricardo shrugged. "It was only one date and you had your own reasons for doing so, reasons that I cannot entirely fault you for. Your past is complicated, and you don't want to be treated like a hero instead of a person. If you explain everything, then Helen may understand. I'm sure it will be a nice story to tell others when they ask how you met."

Severus' body ran cold. For a brief moment, Severus had forgotten that Steven had a shorter stature than him, had darker skin than him, and had far fewer scars than him. A man who looked like Ricardo was someone another person would want to date. A man who looked like Severus Snape, not so much.

"Anyway, I was irritated that I thought you'd lied to me about why you wanted to use my hair for, but it's clear this was all a misunderstanding. Granted, I wish the owl had delivered it to the right person but even owls are prone to making mistakes. Anyway..."

"I need your hair," Severus burst out.

"Excuse me?" Ricardo quirked an eyebrow.

"I need more strands of your hair," Severus' eyes were wide.

Ricardo gave him a blank expression.

"Helen doesn't want to see me. She wants to see Steven, a man who is straight like me but looks like you."

"Oh no," Ricardo shook his head and waved his arms. "I said the hair was a one time thing. You aren't getting another strand from me."

"I know, and I shouldn't ask anything else out of you. Still, I need six strands of hair from you."

"Six?" Ricardo exclaimed.

"Yes."

Ricardo groaned and put his hands over his eyes.

"Please," Severus continued. "I need to be you, for a few more dates."

Ricardo looked up. "No, what you need to do is walk across the street and talk to Hermione about your feelings regarding all this."

"Why would she need to be involved in any of this?"

"Because even after this amazing time with Helen, you're still pining after her."

Severus scowled. "I've never pined after Hermione."

"Sure you aren't," Ricardo put his arms over his chest.

"What makes you think I would destroy my relationship with my best friend with something as ridiculous as romantic notions?"

"You were looking at her like you wanted to forget about your apothecary, apparate her to your house, and carry her to your bedroom where neither of you would leave for the next week."

Severus swallowed, wondering if he was that obvious.

"I think you need to discuss what you've done and your desires with Hermione before you make a bigger mess than this needs to be."

"Hermione and I are only friends."

"Only because you haven't made it clear that you want anything more. If you'd make a move on her, she may be receptive to your advances."

"No, she would not be receptive to my advances."

"How do you know that?"

"I just," Severus furrowed his eyebrows. "I just do."

"How?" Ricardo demanded.

"She's my best friend, the one I joke with, the one who enjoys gambling for Dum Dums and quarters with me, the one who I can talk to until neither of us can keep our eyes open."

"That sounds like the foundation of a relationship."

"Yes, it is the foundation of a friendship, but not for a romance. Hermione doesn't need to be winded and dined or treated like a lady. She's just Hermione. I like her just as she is, but she is not the woman who wants to go for dates on the Strip."

"And you want to spend money on dates at overpriced restaurants?"

"Not every night, every week, or every month. Still, even you must admit going out with Joseph is nice every once in awhile," Severus argued.

"Yes, but here's my secret," Ricardo stepped closer to Severus and whispered. "I ask him to go out with me using my words and not hoping he reads my mind."

Severus' frown deepened. "Perhaps I like staying in with Hermione, eating takeout, and drinking piña coladas. It isn't as expensive as going out every night."

Ricardo gritted his teeth together.

"Listen, I finally found someone who makes me happy," Severus snapped. "Why can't you be happy for me?"

"You've had one date with Helen. You have no idea if she makes you happy, or if you had too much wine that night," Ricardo argued.

Severus scowled. "I know how to drink in moderation as well as whether or not I want to be romantically involved with someone."

Ricardo hummed, his skepticism evident.

"Fine, even if you don't think Helen can make me happy, consider this," Severus paused, "Is anyone writing a piece about the worst parts of your life? Do people throw each and every one of your mistakes in your face? Do you ever wish you were someone else so you could forget the person you were?"

"I know what it's like to want to be someone else, yes," Ricardo answered.

"But did you have the media hounding you for years reminding you of the mess you'd made of your life?"

"No, I can't say I have," Ricardo's eyes flickered in sympathy.

"Please," Severus' voice was soft. "I've found someone who I could care for, who could care for me as I am now. Let me have a chance with her."

"And Hermione?"

"I'm sure she'll be happy for me."

Ricardo took a deep breath.

"I promise, somehow I will make it worth your while. I," Severus reached behind him. "I'll give you another cape."

"No, I don't need another cape, although the one you gave us is quite nice," Ricardo's lips curled up. "Joseph has found some exciting ways to use that cape. We've had quite a fun weekend with it."

"I could have gone my entire life without hearing that."

Ricardo chuckled before glanced at Severus' chest. "I'm betting we could do something with your coat though."

"My coat?"

He nodded. "All those buttons could make for a good tease, whether it be for a show or elsewhere."

"Fine," Severus sighed. "Let me go home and get you an older coat. If I give you this one, it will be too obvious that I lost one of my better coats."

"And you don't want to explain to Hermione why you lost it," Ricardo noted.

Severus gulped.

"Fine, you can have six hairs but please," Ricardo's eyes softened. "Please consider speaking with Hermione about all this. You might be surprised to find she has more of an opinion on Helen than you think she would."

"Her opinion will be that I deserve to be happy," there was a pang in Severus' chest at the thought of trying to be happy without Hermione in his kitchen most nights of the week. Was it possible to be happy without playing cards with her almost every night? If not, how did he keep both her and Helen in his life?

"Also," Ricardo shifted from one foot to another. "Hermione may need you as a friend more than ever after that Marietta exposé."

"How bad was the article?" Severus' voice was soft.

"If you consider the kindest thing said about her to be, 'cold, heartless, boring bitch,' then the article was quite positive towards her."

Severus deflated.

"Anyway, she may need a friend in case someone comes in and begins to harass her," Ricardo continued.

Out of the corner of Severus' eye, he saw a blond haired man carrying a camera. The man sneered as he entered Hermione's store, as if he were a shark smelling a bleeding seal.

"She needs me now," Severus darted out of the apothecary

Had Severus remained, he would have seen Ricardo glancing at the letter and shaking his head.

Helen didn't stand a chance against Hermione.