Dallas, Texas
March 1977
"We'd like to try what we can, together, with your assistance."
Sue Ellen gripped his hand tightly as she spoke for both of them. He was grateful for that; his heart was pounding, and his mouth had gone dry. He hated the idea of needing help for something men had been doing for millennia, something that was supposed to happen naturally. But this was the decision they'd made. It was the best option out of a bad bunch.
"No donor?" the doctor asked.
"No donor," Sue Ellen confirmed.
He watched Doctor Carter's face carefully, wondering if they were being too optimistic. The look on the man's face gave him the answer before he even spoke.
"We can book a full workup for tomorrow and calculate when the best time to try would be," the doctor began. "However, I must remind you, Mr Ewing's sperm count was low, and what we did measure showed low motility. So at present, your chances of conceiving naturally are slim."
"We understand," Sue Ellen replied.
He nodded, echoing her words. As the doctor continued speaking, he placed his other hand over their intertwined fingers, holding on a little tighter.
April 1977
He was uncomfortable; he disliked the cramped room, the harsh artificial lighting, and the thought that he was just one of thousands of men who'd been in this very spot. The idea of being in any way a common man unsettled him, and knowing the slim odds of success from his efforts was a bit demotivating. Still, he pressed on. He wasn't completely dead inside yet, he could do what needed to be done, even if he'd much prefer to handle it the traditional way.
Later that afternoon, when all was said and done, he knew logically that Sue Ellen looked no different. But he saw something in her he hadn't seen in a long time: hope.
"For me?"
Sue Ellen stood up from where she'd been sunbathing by the pool to greet him. Her surprise at the bouquet of yellow roses in his hand was both pleasing and a little disappointing.
"Who else?"
Trying not to show that her reaction stung, JR smiled and handed the flowers to her.
"Oh, JR, thank you."
She stood on her tiptoes to kiss him, her usual heels impractical for sunbathing. The five-inch height difference between them was more obvious than usual, though he didn't mind, it was just something that crossed his mind.
Lately, a lot of things had crossed his mind. One thought more than any other: he loved his wife. He'd always said so, but he knew he hadn't always acted like it.
"What's the occasion?"
Sue Ellen pulled back, holding the flowers to her face, inhaling their scent. Her innocent question stung a little, too.
"They're just to say I love you."
"I love you too."
She leaned up and kissed him again, and this time, he focused on nothing but how good it felt to have her in his arms.
He couldn't pinpoint when things had shifted, only that they had. Before her birthday and the request she'd made of him, he'd been stuck in the cycle of neglect, never outright cold, but certainly not warm. Now, after a tough couple of months and more communication than they'd had since their honeymoon, the very idea of pushing her aside for another woman was repugnant to him.
JR and Sue Ellen were acting oddly, no question about it. One minute they were moping around, the next behaving like newlyweds again. Just when Jock thought he'd figured out their dynamic, that they were hovering somewhere in between, he'd catch a glimpse of something else: anxiety. About what, though? That part still eluded him.
Lately, JR had become unusually quiet about his whereabouts during the workday. He was slipping out of the office more and more, barely even bothering to mention that it wasn't business-related. Jock hadn't pressed him on it; after all, JR wasn't sneaking off with Julie, and his work output was still top-notch. But it did make him wonder.
Curiosity was starting to get the better of him. He wouldn't call it snooping, not exactly. Ewing Oil was his company, after all, and as president, he had every right to go searching for important documents in the vice president's office. The papers he'd been looking for could have been in the suspension file marked 'personal' and that they weren't was neither here nor there.
Unfortunately, his digging around hadn't brought him any closer to figuring out what was going on. But Jock wasn't about to give up. He hadn't built a company from nothing by walking away at the first sign of trouble.
"What do you think? Am I looking bigger?"
JR was flipping through a report Susan had typed up and bound for him to read at home. Without glancing up, he shook his head and answered, "No."
"You didn't even look up," Sue Ellen said, sounding mildly annoyed.
Wearing a navy-blue dress, she stepped closer. She didn't look big at all, which confirmed that JR's answer was correct, even without looking.
"I didn't have to. The answer is always no," he replied smoothly.
"Since when?" she asked, amused.
"Since I was a boy. I've been around enough women to know the right answer to that question."
Sue Ellen chuckled and shook her head, taking his outstretched hand. When he gently pulled her closer, she settled comfortably in his lap.
"Fair enough," she said. "But this time, I'm genuinely asking. I feel bloated, and I don't think it's because I had a roll with dinner."
"You might feel it, but you look lovely," he assured her. "If you're unwell, though, we don't have to go out."
JR knew she was hyperaware of her body lately, hoping the changes she noticed weren't just random. He took her concerns more seriously than he might have otherwise, a fact she didn't miss.
"No, I want to go," Sue Ellen insisted. "I'll just wear something looser."
She gave his hand a grateful squeeze and made a move to get up and finish getting ready, but JR held her there a little longer, savouring the moment. He wanted to enjoy what they had while they still had it.