GOTTA BE HONEST - THIS WAS A ROLLERCOASTER TO WRITE. CAN'T WAIT TO HEAR WHAT YOU THINK!
"What?" Elizabeth barely choked out the word, leaning her back against the wall as something began crawling through her mind.
It couldn't be.
She'd seen it. She'd watched it. She could see it in her head.
"Russell, they're wrong." She said, the scene playing in her head suddenly gave her a bit more strength. "There's no other way that played out."
"They analyzed the scene."
She looked at him, knowing that as he read through the file in his hands, he would see what she'd seen. She would have the information. They weren't analyzing it right.
"The gun that Emma fired was a Sig Sauer with hollow ammunition." Russell said, flipping through the file, "Agents found the bullet with Henry's DNA on it, and it was a FMJ that matches the bullets that the Secret Service have in their sidearms."
Alarm bells rang in Elizabeth's head, her heart started racing against her chest as the words started to break through something in her head.
"They found the bullet Emma fired almost a mile away from the firing point."
She drew in a sharp breath. Everything in her body felt like fighting, her fingers danced against her legs, the energy in her entire being rushing like a tidal wave.
"So what you're telling me," She clarified to herself, and took a step forward, walking. Pacing. Energy flowing, "Is that one of my agents shot Henry?" She knew it was simplistic - she could reason through world conflicts in seconds, multiple solutions flying to her mind and following each of those possibilities out with their own pro and con list faster than most people.
When she didn't hear anything from Russell, she turned on her heels to find him nodding, avoiding eye contact with her.
"What you're telling me," Her voice grew in frustration as the words tunneled through her clenched jaw, "Is that it was a bullet meant for my daughter that almost killed my husband?"
Again, nod with no eye contact.
And she found the reasoning she needed. There was the pathway in her brain to bypass the other possibilities.
"So if Emma hadn't pointed the gun at me," She sucked in more air, "Henry never would've been shot?" And as the words came out, she wished they soothed more than they did.
But Russell's eyes flew towards hers, and she saw the split second of absolute astonishment quickly followed by a rage she'd rarely seen in the man who had been her counterpart in public service for years.
His jaw clenched as he stepped towards her, inches from her face, and with a quiet fury, he hissed, "You want her to be guilty so much, don't you, Bess?" She pulled her head back, away from the anger that fizzled from him. But he came right back at her, "Did you just. Conveniently. Forget that mere seconds before this," And his eyes narrowed as he condescendingly pushed his finger into her shoulder, "YOU were the one standing in the line of fire?"
Taken aback, Elizabeth could only stand there and watch the man unravel in front of her.
"You and I both know she didn't want ANY of this to happen!" And his voice escalated, and she was glad when he stepped away from her. He let it sit with her for a few seconds, then began outright yelling at her, "And if in that fucked up brain of yours, you've got a damn monologue about "actions have consequences' bullshit, don't you DARE let those words come out of your mouth!" And, once again, he wagged his finger in her stunned face, "Sure, she messed up, but you just want her to be guilty! Why?!"
The man in front of her was quiet, his entire body teeming with righteous anger, refusing to break eye contact with her.
"Because.I need her to be guilty" She hissed back at him, the dissonance inside gladly turning to anger and flying from her, "It still has to be her fault! You know why?" As if separate from her own words, she felt she was processing the words at the same time that Russell was hearing them as well. "Because I can't consider the alternative! Because the alternative is some…" She threw her hands up into the air and rolled her eyes, "Fucked up suicide by Secret Service plan gone wrong, and she just wanted to die and Henry got in the middle," She took a deep breath, and suddenly, the fury was gone. And the anger had flown out, and there was nothing left but… Her voice broke as she still held Russell's gaze, "The alternative is that I called my daughter a murderer and subjected her to …" The screams rang through her ears as if they were coming from a room in the hospital, "... the utter pit of hell." And she turned away from him, trying to breathe through the reality that had knocked the air from her body, "What kind of mother can do that to her child?" She asked herself out loud.
And she replayed the moments in the cemetery. She'd seen the gun. She'd tried to keep it hidden from the agents behind them. And Elizabeth could still see the words coming from Emma's mouth, I won't even have to do it. And then, Elizabeth had turned, angling her body between which agent would shoot first. Because that's where she would jump. And then, with an honesty reality forced upon her, she remembered when the gun had left her head. Gunshot as she turned around.
And the gun was still in Emma's fingertips, pointed in the air. Henry's hand circled Emma's wrist, pushing the gun out of her hands.
"What have I done?" She asked quietly, the corners of her mouth stretched as tears threatened to fall, the past fading away as she finally met Russell's softened gaze.
She knew Russell wasn't a feelings based person most of the time, and she knew it was with frustration that he took a deep breath, and just said, "Bess, you need to go tell her, right?"
She nodded, blinking away tears and swallowing hard against the lump in her throat. She adjusted her blazer, trying to compose herself as the need to see and talk to Emma began to cement itself inside of her guilt-addled mind. And she whispered, 'What do I say to her?"
Russell shrugged his shoulders, and said, "How the hell would I know? Do I look like a mother?"
"No." She said, the bit of levity distracting her, "You definitely do not." And she looked down the hallway, looking for Blake, or someone. "I just need someone to sit with Henry while I go…"
"Don't you even think about it, Bess." Russell said, and they walked down the hall together.
"Wouldn't think of it."
She'd almost reached the elevator as the doors opened. And she found her assistant, looking exceptionally frazzled. "Blake, I was just looking for…"
Then her eyes saw who stood next to him in the elevator.
"Elizabeth."
Of all the people she needed right now. It was not, "Maureen."
Russell whispered to her, "Who is.."
Elizabeth turned her head to him and said, "That's my least favorite sister-in-law who hates my guts."
He raised his eyebrows. "Ah."
Turning to the woman who seemed to wear anger and irritation on her face like makeup, Elizabeth tried to get past her thoughts only seconds before and say, "Thank you for coming."
Like a turtle of a certain breed, Maureen snapped, "I'm not here for you, I'm here for my brother." As the woman stepped out of the elevator, she said, "Allison called and told me about the situation, and I decided someone from the McCord family should be here for my brother."
Stepping past the drive-by at Elizabeth's exclusion, she just said, "I can show you Henry's room, if you'd like." Trying desperately not to think about the last time she'd had a conversation with Henry's sister.
Maureen sarcastically said as she looked Elizabeth over, "You running off and leaving my brother again?"
Take a breath. She tried to remind herself, It's just how she is.
"I just need to go and check on Emma." She was thankful when her compartmentalizing skills were able to push the real need for her visit out of her head to focus on Henry's sister in front of her, And calmly, she assured, "But then I'll be back, and maybe we can get a coffee or something…"
"Of course you are." Maureen sarcastically said, "Allison told me what happened, and, I hate to say it, but I can't say I didn't see this coming."
Take a breath.
She could feel the tension even as she calmly said, "You saw what?" All the quips she could come back at her sister-in-law with - because there was no way that even Allison's version of events would relay what had actually…
"I knew that one day you'd choose your child over my brother." Came her hateful response as the woman locked eyes with Elizabeth.
"Maureen, I'm just going to check on her, and then I'll be right back…"
Her sister-in-law rolled her eyes, pointing at the elevator behind her, "Go be with that child and maybe, don't come back,"The outlandish words held context in history, so she understood the reasoning behind the comment. "
But both Blake and Russell had none.
And with a fervor she'd not seen from her assistant, he said, "Take that back." And, while the comment felt like it might have been more at home on an elementary school playground just before a fight broke out, the comment warmed Elizabeth's heart to hear someone defend her. Not that she needed defending.
"That one's really got a mouth on him" Maureen chuckled.
All she wanted was to get in the elevator. And leave this mess for later. In her experience, if she could remove herself from the situation, Maureen would find someone else to turn her frustrations on.
"Maureen, whatever you want to think, I do have to go." Gracefully, gently, "But I will be back, and if you don't mind sitting with Henry, that would be such a relief for me." Take a breath. Put her in the position to be helping, that's all Maureen wants sometimes...And she started walking back toward Henry's room, "Let me show you his room." When the woman followed her, Elizabeth was relieved, and tried to bring positivity into the conversation, "He woke up about an hour ago, and they were able to take him off the ventilator, which was so good to talk to him. He's resting now, but I'm sure he'll be…" She didn't hesitate, but she internally rolled her eyes, "... glad to see you."
Elizabeth knew the minute that Maureen saw Henry there in the room, in a hospital bed, still very pale - Elizabeth knew she should've just gotten on the elevator. Because it was as if seeing Henry in such a state could not be anything other than Elizabeth's fault in her sister-in-law's opinion.
Trying not to stay around and wait for the fireworks to start, Elizabeth tried to excuse herself, "Thanks again…" And she started walking away.
And, as always, with Maureen, she would take it as low as possible just to get a rise out of Elizabeth. No matter how low Elizabeth already was, if Maureen could see an opening to rain down hellfire and brimstone upon Elizabeth's head, she would.
And the words were thick with a hatred she flung at Elizabeth, "If you'd have kept your legs closed, my brother wouldn't be in that bed."
Elizabeth stopped in her tracks, closing her eyes but not before seeing Russell move into action down the hallway.
"I don't think you know who the fuck you're talking to, Lady." Elizabeth could hear his steps getting closer, almost ready to pass Elizabeth on his way towards Maureen. "I know there's more than a few missing marbles up there, but…"
And Elizabeth reached out and set her hand on Russell's shoulder, which was enough to pause his ground invasion. She shook her head, and when he started to argue, she just held the look with a firmer grasp on his shoulder.
"Fine." He held up his hands and turned away, "But don't leave me alone in a room with her if they want a funeral with an open casket."
Elizabeth crossed her arms and turned around, cocking her head to the side, letting the words Maureen said, and Russell's mumbling behind her settle into the air.
Never one to sit in silence, Maureen unloaded, "As a fellow woman, I hope you at least had an orgasm that night with that piece of shit, because," she scoffed, "well, even whores deserve that every once in a while!"
"Tell me how you really feel, Maureen." Elizabeth replied, her voice even but strong, "As much as I'd love to sit down and dissect…" She couldn't help herself, not when Elizabeth had been so gracious so far, "... my sex life blow by blow…" and she took a breath to make her voice stay calm, "as much as I'm just dying to have that conversation with you, I do have to go be a mother right now." Pointing behind her to the elevator, Elizabeth said, "But while I'm gone, feel free to check with my assistant, and I'd love to have the birds and the bees chat with you at a later date." And as she spun on her heels and walked toward the elevator, she called over her shoulder, "I can even do a powerpoint if you'd like!"
"Fuck you!" Maureen called down the hall.
"Bye, Maureen!" She said, not turning around on the elevator until the doors closed behind her.