Sister Bernadette's eyes fluttered open, greeted by the gentle morning light spilling through her curtains. She had once again overslept, a rarity for someone who cherished the early hours. The weight of sleepless nights pressed down on her, filled with swirling thoughts of Sister Julienne and the emotional turmoil surrounding her vows and her undeniable feelings for Dr Turner.
As she sat up slowly, remnants of a dull headache lingered from yesterday's mental battles. She shuffled to the small mirror hanging on her wall. The reflection staring back was not that of "Sister Bernadette" but rather a weary Shelagh—hair tousled and eyes heavy with fatigue.
Dressing in her habit felt routine yet foreign. What would today bring? Her heart raced at the thought of facing Sister Julienne again, knowing they would delve into her internal conflict.
With hesitant steps, she approached Sister Julienne's office, knocking softly on the open door. Sister Julienne looked up from her paperwork, a warm smile breaking through the seriousness of the moment.
"Come in, dear," she invited gently. "Take a seat."
She entered and closed the door behind her, settling into a chair across from Sister Julienne. "How are you feeling this morning?" came the calm inquiry.
"I'm tired," she admitted quietly, no longer hiding behind walls of pretence.
"I can see that," Sister Julienne replied softly as she reached out to hold her hand. "I'd like to ask your permission to invite Dr Turner to speak with you today."
The request hit like a thunderclap. Conflicting emotions surged within her; she longed for his presence yet feared what it might stir in her heart—a heart already tangled in confusion and silence from Him.
"I'm not sure I want to see him right now," She whispered, vulnerability lacing each word.
Sister Julienne nodded knowingly. "I suspected you might feel that way… but do you trust me?"
"Of course I do," came Sister Bernadette's immediate response.
"Then trust me when I say this conversation could be beneficial," Sister Julienne urged gently. "Please keep an open mind."
Sister Bernadette took a deep breath, wrestling with uncertainty and hope intertwined like vines around her heart. Could seeing Dr Turner help untangle this mess? Or would it only deepen the crater between duty and desire?
"Alright," she finally said, voice steadying as resolve began to bloom within her chest. "I'll meet with him."
Sister Julienne smiled warmly, squeezing her hand reassuringly as if anchoring them both amidst the storm brewing inside.
As they sat together in silence for a moment longer, anticipation hung thick in the air—a fragile thread connecting past choices with future possibilities.
Today could change everything or nothing at all; either way, it was time for Sister Bernadette—or perhaps just Shelagh—to face what is to come.
xXx
Sister Bernadette had been lost in thought, surrounded by the vibrant blooms of the garden. The world felt distant, wrapped in a cocoon of tranquillity. Suddenly, Sister Julienne's voice broke through her reverie.
"Sister, Dr Turner is here to see you. You may see him in my office," she said with a warm smile.
Time had slipped away from her.Had it really been that long?She rose from the bench, brushing petals off her dress, and followed Sister Julienne through the familiar halls of Nonnatus House.
As they entered the office, she spotted Dr Turner standing by the desk. His nervous smile tugged at her heartstrings.
"Good afternoon, Sister," he greeted politely.
Flushing with uncertainty, Sister Bernadette glanced down at her feet. "Good afternoon, Dr Turner," she replied softly.
"Very well, Sister. Do you need me to stay?" Sister Julienne asked gently, placing a reassuring hand on Bernadette's shoulder.
After a brief moment of contemplation, Sister Bernadette realised she craved this private conversation with Dr Turner. "No Sister, I will be fine, thank you," she stated firmly.
Sister Julienne smiled knowingly before exiting and closing the heavy wooden door behind her.
Suddenly it was just them—Dr Turner and Sister Bernadette.
Though they had shared many moments alone before, this one felt different—charged with unspoken words and emotions hanging thick in the air.
Silence enveloped them as Dr Turner fidgeted beside the desk, rubbing his thumb and forefinger together nervously while Sister Bernadette stood rooted to her spot, avoiding eye contact for fear of saying something foolish.
Finally breaking the silence, he suggested softly, "Sister, why don't we sit down together? There is something I wish to discuss."
His voice was like a gentle rumble—a soothing balm to her anxious heart.
With every step toward the chair across from him, her pulse quickened.What could he possibly want to discuss?She whispered to herself what Sister Julienne had once asked: "Do you trust me?"
Dr Turner settled into the chair beside hers, drumming his fingers on his legs—a nervous habit that mirrored her own unease. He was so close that she could feel warmth radiating from him—the clean scent of antiseptic mixed with something earthy and distinctly him.
Summoning courage, Sister Bernadette risked a glance at him and found their eyes locked together—his deep brown eyes seemed to search right into her soul. His handsome face bore laugh lines that hinted at kindness and joy; messy black hair streaked with grey framed it perfectly.
In that charged moment, time stood still for both of them as they shared an unspoken connection—a blend of apprehension and possibility hung between them like ripe fruit waiting to be picked.
What would he say? What did he want to discuss? Her heart thumped loudly against her chest as they both sat together, eyes locked, silence eloping around them.
Dr Turner cleared his throat, a nervous habit that caught Sister's attention. "Sister, what I wish to discuss today…" His voice trailed off, revealing an uncharacteristic vulnerability. She had never seen him like this.
Finding his resolve, he continued, "I spoke with Sister Julienne yesterday… about you." His gaze softened. "She is very concerned, and truthfully, so am I."
Worried about me?The thought surprised her. "I'm fine, Doctor," she replied quietly. "You have far more important things to worry about." Her eyes shifted to the wall behind him.
Dr Turner reached out as if to comfort her but hesitated. "Sister, you are important to me… very important." His words hung in the air like a fragile promise.
Her heart raced; the atmosphere felt charged. Dr Turner pressed on, his tone gentle yet insistent. "Sister Julienne proposed an idea—a possibility I can't shake off." He paused for effect. "It's unconventional but could do you good."
Anxiety churned in her stomach. What was he suggesting?
She met his gaze again, searching for answers.
"I'd like to take you away for the weekend," he said softly. "Just us—a chance for you to relax and decompress… it would be entirely proper."
A holiday? The word echoed in her mind—unexpected and thrilling yet daunting. She had never taken a holiday before; it went against her vows of poverty, but the idea of spending a weekend alone with Dr Turner sent shivers down her spine.
Before she could respond, he added, "Sister Julienne believes this would be beneficial for you—and I agree."
Despite how enticing it sounded, she felt compelled to refuse. "Dr Turner, I cannot go away; it would violate my vows and my duty here."
He nodded thoughtfully before continuing, "That's where Sister Julienne has another suggestion: You could come without your habit… a complete break from everything."
Silence enveloped them once more as confusion swirled in her mind—without her habit?The implications were profound.
Thoughts raced through her head: She thought about Sister Julienne's questions "Do you trust me?", What if she took this leap? What if she imagined herself as someone else for just one weekend? What if she imagined being his?
The weight of possibility settled heavily on her shoulders while excitement flickered within her heart.
"Think about it," Dr Turner urged gently, his voice wrapping around her like a warm blanket. He offered a smile that felt like sunlight breaking through the clouds, but she remained still, caught in a whirlwind of thoughts and emotions.
The idea of leaving everything behind sent shivers down her spine. It felt wrong—like stepping off the edge of a cliff without knowing what lay below. Yet, the thrill of possibility tugged at her heartstrings. Could she really say yes to this adventure?
Dr Turner stood up, rubbing his fingers together nervously—a telltale sign of his own unease. "I'll leave you be to consider what you would like to do," he said softly. "Please know Sister, there is no pressure from anyone. Just let Sister Julienne or I know your decision." His voice resonated with warmth, sending vibrations through her very core.
As he turned toward the door, she felt an urgency rise within her. "Why? Why do you want to do this for me?" The words escaped before she could second-guess herself.
He paused mid-step, turning back to face her with an intensity that made her heart race. "Sister… You are so very important and special to me," he confessed, his eyes searching hers for understanding. "I've watched you become more withdrawn over these past months; it's as if your spark has dimmed. If I can help in any way, I will."
A heavy silence enveloped them, thick with unspoken feelings and electric tension. She could see the concern etched on his face—the worry that gripped him as tightly as it held her captive.
"I can't lose you… I just can't," he whispered, each word laced with vulnerability.
In that moment, something shifted within her—a flicker igniting against the backdrop of duty and devotion that had long overshadowed her desires. She was surprised by his admission; they had always shared a close bond, but never had she imagined it ran this deep for him too.
But why did he care so much? A quiet voice nagged at her—could it be possible that Dr Turner felt something beyond friendship? The thought sent dizzying waves through her mind.
Her lips parted to speak but fell silent instead as emotions swirled inside her like leaves caught in a storm. He stepped closer—too close—and she felt every heartbeat echoing between them.
"I'm so sorry Sister," he stammered suddenly, hurt flashing across his features. "I shouldn't have said that; I must have made you uncomfortable." He took a step back as if distancing himself from the weight of his confession. "If you agree to let me take you away, I promise not to say such things again."
Her heart raced wildly; warmth flooded her cheeks while butterflies danced in her stomach. In that instant of clarity amidst chaos, she knew what answer would emerge from within.
"Dr Turner…" she called out softly just as he began to turn away again.
He stopped abruptly and looked back at her expectantly—hope mingling with uncertainty in his gaze.
"I will go," she declared firmly now—the words spilling forth like water breaking free from a dam.
His eyes widened in surprise and joy intertwined with relief washed over his face as she repeated herself: "I will go with you Dr Turner."