Hello! :)

Rather shockingly, today is the one year anniversary of Love! I can't believe I started it that long ago, but I am most definitely finding that the older I get, the stranger that time moves.

Anyway, onto this, a virtual high five to the first person to spot the Mark-Derek quote in the first scene! I did have to edit the context, but some of you should still be able to find it.

This chapter ends with a cliffhanger, so I may post next Tuesday so you don't have to wait another week. No spoilers, but try not to worry too much, is my advice.

Enjoy!

"Hello."

She sighed, and stretched. "Mmm...why are you always awake?"

"Early riser."

She sighed. "SCI complication or the result of my monstrous snoring?" She pressed, unimpressed by his response.

"Today? SCI complication. Other days...maybe it's a little to do with your snoring."

She sighed. "Sorry."

"It's fine. Promise." He reassured her. "I bought you a new packet of nose strips though, they'll be coming on the first."

"Today is the first."

He faltered. It was December already. "Right...so they'll be coming today then. You can try them tonight, and then stop feeling so guilty about waking me up."

"Mmm." She agreed. "What woke you up?"

"Nothing interesting, just general pain."

"Just general pain?" She repeated.

"I mean that it's not a spasm or cramp or...whatever." He explained. "And it's in my back, not my legs."

"How bad is it?"

"I will survive." He said, like a verbal shrug.

"It woke you up. It...it was bad enough to wake you up."

"I'm a light sleeper."

She sighed. "You kind of freak me out, you know that?"

"I'm sorry. I...I mean, I'd offer to do something about it, but there's nothing I can do."

"It's okay. I'm worried about you, but you don't need to worry about me worrying about you too. Just...worry about the reason I'm worried about you."

He grinned. "Okay. That was a lot of words but I think I got it."

She smiled back, and kissed him.

"Can we talk about something?"

"How about...the physiology of snoring. What you got?"

"No- I mean-" He sighed.

"You want to talk to me about something specific; you're not just asking for a conversation. I get it." She replied. "Sorry."

He smiled before he even spoke, despite the fact he knew it was a little strange to laugh at your own joke, "Silly billy."

She snorted. He was never going to let that one go. "Yes, you're right, you're not the only...'silly billy' in this relationship."

"No. We're...definitely quite the pair."

"But- I mean, what did you actual want to talk about? And don't say the words 'silly' or 'billy' again."

"I uh- I wanted you to tell me about Christmas."

"Uh- 25th December. Lots of sparkly trees. The day Jesus was born or...something like that." She replied. "You know google is a thing, right? I'm sure a Wikipedia page is much more knowledgeable than I am."

He smiled. "You're one funny woman, Meredith Grey."

She smiled back, but not paticularly in a happy way.

"Tell me what a Wikipedia page can't tell me." He instructed, knowing she'd understand what he meant.

"My first Christmas was at...19. Then...uh-" She sighed. "Yeah. That was about it."

He kissed her. "I'm sorry."

"It's okay."

"It's not okay. Christmas is important. It's something everyone should have."

"I don't mind. Don't miss what you don't have, right?"

"So...if I offered you a childhood Christmas, then that would make it worse?" He asked. "It's a bad idea?"

"Offered me a what?" She asked.

"This year, I'd like to give you Christmas. I'd like to make gingerbread houses with you and put up a tree and eat far too much food. I'd like to give you presents and kiss you under the mistletoe and-" He paused. "I want to give you Christmas for Christmas. Because...when I met you I always thought it was so nice to meet someone who was so bright and shiny compared to me and my crappy life, but I've since learnt that that was not at all the case. And that's when I decided it was highly probable that you didn't get these things. Wish I knew...would have tried harder on your birthday."

"I liked the necklace you gave me."

"Really?" He sighed. That wasn't even deflection as a defence mechanism, she was most definitely aware of the fact that it was not at all what he meant.

"I know. That was so bad. I'm- I just..." She paused. She just needed for time to handle all of this. All of this love. It was kind of terrifying how much he loved her sometimes, if she was honest. "You're giving me Christmas?"

He smiled. "I'm giving you Christmas. Let me give you Christmas. Accept my...cinnamon and funny candles."

"Only if you promise not to write 'from Santa' on my presents."

He sighed. "Well...I can't have everything."

"You're quiet."

"Mmm?" He murmured, making another stab at his salad.

"Quiet." Mark repeated. "I.e. Not talkative."

"Just...thinking." Derek shrugged.

"About?" Mark pressed. "And don't tell me you're worrying about Meredith's hearing. I checked her over myself and she's fine."

"No. Just...other stuff."

"What is this stuff though, Derek?" He pressed. "It's not helpful to just tell me what it's not."

"Thinking about you." He said after a short second.

"You're thinking about me?" Mark repeated.

"Yeah." He said with a small voice. He looked up to him for a brief second to read his expression before returning to his salad. Or at least pretending to.

"You...you have your worrying face, and you're not talking, and that means you're thinking too much. But...you're thinking about me? Seriously?"

"Do you feel guilty?" He asked after a very long moment of silence.

"About-"

"I talked to Meredith. She explained what you two talked about after her- or in, I think it was, her audiology appointment."

He swallowed. "Right."

"So...was I right?"

"I would have always been there for you. Always. You fixed my mildly-bad life for thirty years straight, so I took it upon myself to fix you for the one year you had...like the most crapy life imaginable." He sighed. "But some days I wish I'd just not been an ass. But...it's okay; it's not eating me up inside or anything."

"You sure?"

"I'm sure. I love you, man. In another world, it'd be us sharing a dog and making out secretly in on call rooms."

"Um-" Derek breathed after a long second. He swallowed. That was one interesting thing to say.

"I know. I want to take it back but I already said it so-" He couldn't help the smile that spread his face. "Sorry mate."

"You've never done this before."

She smiled. "I've never done this before. Is...is it that obvious?"

He smiled back. "It's okay. I...I will direct, and you will do stuff."

"Are you sure?"

"I'm sure. Otherwise this tree is never being made because the chair kinda means I lost all my...tree making skills."

"Oh." She breathed. "Right."

"So...you start by putting the three big things together to form the trunk, okay? I think some go together any way, but mine have fake plastic wood grain so you have to line them up. But it should be pretty simple." He explained. "Then, I can help with the next step because I can do it from here."

She nodded as she picked up the first piece and examined it.

"Making sense?"

She nodded. "Yeah. I mean...I like sew arteries and stuff, I can do this."

"Yeah. Hopefully." He agreed. He spoke again once he knew she was confident with what she was doing, "So...I talked to Mark about that...stuff."

"Yeah? What did he say?" She pondered. "I mean- if you're okay with sharing."

He squeezed her hand. The addition was sweet, but thankfully he was comfortable with talking about it. "He said that he felt a little guilty, but it was mainly the whole- you know, me raising him that made him want to stay. Something about- me helping him for thirty years meant he owed me a year or two of help."

"So...everything's fine?" She asked.

"Everything is fine. Except-"

"Except?" She pushed instantaneously, cutting him off.

He smiled. "I think Mark might have confessed his undying love for me so I'm not sure what's going to go on between you and him. You know- with this fight to my heart."

She grinned. "Right. I get your 'except' now."

"But...as much as I love him, I think I'll be sticking with my current partner."

"Mmm...good to hear." She said with another short grin.

"Anyway...so- no more secrets again." He said in summary.

"But you did keep one."

"What?" He asked, confused.

"You kept a secret from Mark, even it was temporarily. It's not something you really do; you tell Mark everything." She observed.

"I tell you stuff too. I tell you stuff I don't tell Mark often...about how I feel or- how my day went." He replied after a moment.

"You'd say...you confide in me?" She asked.

He smiled. "Of course."

"When was the last time you confided in someone other than Mark...or maybe Addie and your mom?"

He swallowed. Before Mark, there was...no one. There was no one before Mark. And there was no one who had gotten very close to him when he was friends with the man either. "I uh- I'm not convinced there was a before-Mark. Although apparently I was friends with a girl called Holly when I was two but I don't think that counts."

"Me neither." She muttered. Now he was the one doing the deflecting.

"But why? I don't understand what that means. What...me telling you stuff means."

"It means...Derek, I think you're my person."

"Your person?" He repeated.

"I'm Cristina's person and she's mine. You're Mark's person and he's yours. But...I think we are also each other's person."

"I-" He stared at her, a little dumbfounded. "I thought- I mean, we're together already. Have been for a long time now."

"I know, I know- by a person." She paused to think. "It's like a best friend, but more. Cristina to me is...the person I'd call if I killed someone- she'd drag the body across the floor with me. She's...my person."

"And...now I'm your person. And- you're my person?"

"Yes."

"Is it in the criteria of a person to drag bodies across the floor? Because I'm not convinced I can do that, chair and all."

She giggled, and he did too. Of course. How could he be Derek without a stupid joke? Derek Shepherd. Her boyfriend. Her person.

She kissed him. "It's okay. I think I'll let you off the hook for that one. But- unfortunately-"

"Unfortunately?" He pressed.

"I think I might have broken this...thingmabob."

"Oh- uh-" He paused as he looked at it. "No, it's okay, you just have to pull it out and put it back in so the fake grain things match. It's not broken, just a little funny looking."

"Right. And there's a thing I have to press to take it apart, isn't there?" She muttered, mostly to herself.

"Yeah, just push it in and it will pull apart."

She nodded to herself before locating the button, pressing down on it and splitting the two pieces, one going much, much further than she thought. "I did it!"

Derek didn't reply to that.

"And then I have to put them back together, right? Just...correctly this time?" She continued, only to falter when she realised he wasn't replying, and looked up. "Derek?"

Crap.

"Oh my god-" She uttered. "Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god- Derek, are you okay?"

"I uh-" He paused as he removed his hand, and revealed obvious evidence of what she had just done. "You kind of just stabbed me with a Christmas tree. So..." He swallowed. "No. Not really."