Chapter Three

"I might only have one match

But I can make an explosion"

Fight Song by Rachel Platten

I pulled myself out of bed early the next morning. My side still hurt, but the pain wasn't unmanageable, and my headache was now more of a dull throb. All good signs. I forced myself not to think about the events that were taking place today, telling myself that I would be with the Dixon's and I would be absolutely fine. No need to panic about it yet.

I was shocked to see my cell door hadn't been locked. I had assumed someone would cage me in at some point, but I wasn't going to complain. I made my way through the quiet cellblock, hearing various different snores fill the space, and into the bathroom. I spent a few minutes brushing my teeth, washing my face, and making my hair presentable.

I slowly wandered back to my cell, but I felt restless. Deciding that if Rick hadn't locked me up, I was good to come and go as I pleased. I headed back down the stairs and tried to find my way outside from what I remembered of the show. It was surprisingly easy and all the doors and bars I encountered were unlocked, which told me I wasn't the only one awake.

Finally feeling the cool morning air on my skin as I pushed open the last door, I stepped out onto the top of a small landing of stairs that was caged in. I made my way down the steps and past some pots of flowers before I had another very surreal moment.

Watching the show and then being here in real life was a wild feeling. I slowly walked around, taking in everything. There was the covered area where people ate and cooked, barrels of water set up around the space, various shelves scattered about. I took my time exploring, completely awed by everything I was looking at.

Eventually I made my way to the fence that blocked us off from the fields below. I hugged my arms around my body and gazed out at the scene before me. I could see Rick's little farm and a few of the pins they kept the different animals in. My eyes ran along the area until I started looking beyond the fence.

There were walkers on the fence line. Quite a few of them. More than I was comfortable with, at least. My stomach clenched and I felt nauseous as I looked at the distant figures, but I made my eyes keep moving.

Movement caught my eye from the fields and I looked over to see Rick already working. I hadn't noticed he was out there before. He was digging something and I could see his skin glistening with sweat. I definitely would not be volunteering to help with any of that.

"G' morning," a low grunt sounded.

I turned slightly to see Daryl standing a few feet to my left, looking out in the same direction I had been. He had on his usual attire; a black long sleeve button up, his leather vest, dark jeans, and boots. His crossbow was slung over his shoulder and his hair gave off the 'just rolled out of bed' look. He looked absolutely delicious.

I tried to remember if I had been this attracted to the man when I was watching the show.

"Good morning," I said, smiling at him briefly and then turned back to the field so I didn't make him uncomfortable.

"Ready for today?" He asked.

"Ready as I'll ever be, I guess," I replied, anxiety bubbling up in me again that I desperately tried to push down, "When are we leaving?"

"Within the hour. Ya should probably get some food on your stomach before we go," he said as he continued to stare out at the field.

"Yeah, I'll do that," I started to slowly back away from the fence, "Hey, Daryl? Are you driving? Or is Merle?"

"I am. Not lettin' his dumb ass drive me anywhere."

"Good. I'm calling shotgun now, just so you can vouch for me when it's time to go," I grinned at the man who let out a low laugh.

"You gonna try to fight Merle for the front seat? Good fuckin' luck with that."

"He'll get over it. And I'm picking the music," I declared as I turned to go hunt some food down.

I heard him chuckle under his breath and I couldn't stop the smile that lit up my face at the sound.

Eventually, I located oatmeal and a gas powered burner to heat up some water. I ate my breakfast alone at one of the tables outside as people slowly started coming out to start their day. I was contemplating if I could convince Daryl and Merle to stop somewhere so I could get some clothes on the way back from the college, as I only had the outfit Carol had given me yesterday, when a body sliding into the seat next to me pulled me out of my thoughts.

I looked over to find Carol with two coffee cups in her hands.

"I hope you like coffee, because I made you a cup," she said as she sat one down in front of me, "But don't get too excited. It's only instant."

I quickly abandoned my oatmeal in favor of the mug.

"You're a saint," I breathed as I took a big drink, not even bothered that the liquid damn near burned my taste buds off.

"Thought you could use a little pick me up before heading out today. You okay?" She asked, glancing over at me before taking a sip from her own cup.

"I am. Just a little nervous," I responded, focusing on my coffee.

"Rick said you told him you're a pretty good shot," I watched as Carol reached behind her to pull a handgun that had been tucked into the back of her jeans, "So I brought you this. Daryl and Merle will keep you safe. They're good out there, but you need to be able to protect yourself, too. Don't tell Rick I gave you this or I'll tell him you stole it from me."

I let out a snort as she slid the gun towards me, "You are fucking terrifying."

"I think I'm a delight," Carol laughed as I tucked the gun into the back of my leggings, "Looks like you're about to be paged."

Just as she said that, I saw Merle stalking around the corner of the building closest to us, dagger hooked on to the device where his hand should be, eyes searching until they landed on me.

"Angel! Get that sweet ass over here. We're leaving in five!"

And then he disappeared the way he came as laughter rang out across the area. I felt my face turn red.

"Jesus, does he talk to everyone like that?" I asked.

"Unfortunately for you, Merle Dixon seems to have taken a liking to you. You're the only person he talks to like that," Carol laughed.

"Lovely."

"Better than him not liking you, I guess."

I hummed an agreement as I downed the rest of my coffee, effectively burning my entire throat.

"Thanks for the coffee. I'll see you tonight. Hopefully," I said with a smile as I started walking towards where Merle disappeared.

"See you tonight, sweet cheeks!" The woman called after me, causing me to bark out a laugh.

As I rounded the corner of the building, my eyes landed on the Dixon's, who were standing in front of a black car. From their facial expressions, it seemed like they were in the middle of a heated debate. Their eyes locked on mine as I slowed to a stop in front of them.

"Ya called shotgun?" Merle asked incredulously.

"I did, but I get really car sick if I'm in the backseat, Merle. Like throwing up and everything. It's bad," I said, giving him my best 'give me what I want' look.

"Oh, jesus fuck," the man grumbled before he stormed to the back of the car and threw the door open.

Daryl and I just watched as Merle flung himself into the backseat and slammed the door shut behind him. Daryl's eyes returned to mine, amusement coloring his features.

"You don't get car sick, do you?"

"Sure don't," I responded with a grin before skipping over to the passenger seat and getting in.

I watched Daryl round the car with a small smile on his face that sent warmth through my chest. He climbed in the car and started it up, not saying a word.

The moment the engine roared to life, I felt my stomach drop.

This was happening. We were going outside of the fence and I was absolutely going to see the dead up close and personal. I didn't want to do this, but I told myself I had to. I had to prove myself to be at least a little useful. And that meant pulling on my big girl panties and acting like I wasn't about to stroke out from pure terror.

I had to pretend like I had seen this before, but my legs started bouncing up and down like they usually did when I was nervous.

The car started inching forward and at some point we passed the first gate. Carol stood beside it, waving at us as we made our way down the hill. I gave the woman a confident smile, although I wanted to throw up.

I saw Rick walking towards us from the plots he was tending and Daryl slowed the car down. Daryl rolled my window down with the controls on his side of the car and Rick leaned in, resting his arm on the door.

"What time are you thinking y'all will be back?" Rick asked, his eyes focused on Daryl.

"No later than nightfall," Daryl responded.

I could see the difference in Daryl's demeanor when he talked to Rick. He spoke clearer and maintained eye contact. He sounded more confident when he spoke to Rick, and I found myself wanting him to feel that comfortable with me, too.

"Be safe. If it's too much, come back. We can figure something out," Rick said, nodding at Daryl before he turned his eyes to mine briefly.

I didn't say anything. Partly because I had nothing to say, but mostly because I was actively trying not to projectile vomit my breakfast on the man.

"Alright, I'll open the gates for you," Rick said, tapping the side of the car door twice as he jogged towards the opening.

"'Bout fuckin' time," Merle grumbled from the back.

I leaned my head back on the seat and let my eyes close as we started moving forward again, giving myself another moment to panic before I pulled my shit together. I heard the window roll up next to me and the continued crunch of gravel under tires as I started my mental list of good things.

It was something I had started doing a few lives in when I had woken up in 1862 as Elizabeth Walker. Elizabeth was the mother of four young boys and her husband had just died in the war. It was in my 'Worst Lives Hall of Fame', easily in the top three. I had contracted typhus a few years into that life and died, but I had started forcing myself to list all of the good things in that life I could think of when I was having a bad day and the habit had stuck with me.

I struggled for a second to find even one good thing about where I was currently, because rotten, undead faces kept flashing behind my eyes, but I forced the image away and the list started coming easily.

I got to meet the characters of my favorite show and had the opportunity to help them. Merle seemed like a good thing. He had stood up for me last night and offered to go with me today. Daryl's arms were probably the best thing. Carol had seemed kind of nice this morning. No one locked me in my cell last night, which showed some progress. I had coffee today. My head and side didn't hurt as bad. I was in my body.

I mentally high fived myself, already feeling a little better, and opened my eyes to see trees flying past us and a deserted road ahead.

I glanced over at Daryl, who had his left arm draped across the steering wheel and his eyes focused on the road. He looked like he was deep in thought about something.

I turned my eyes forward and settled back in the seat again. With not even Merle talking from the backset, the silence was going to kill me.

"There's CD's in the glovebox," Daryl said quietly.

I looked over at the man with a bright smile. He must have read my mind.

Making quick work of retrieving the black CD holder, I started flipping through the options and was pleasantly surprised at what I found.

"Ya get to sit in the front and play DJ? Wanna explain to me how that's fair?" Merle said from behind me.

"She called it before you even got out of bed, so I'd say it's fair," Daryl responded.

"Yer just saying that because you think she's pretty, baby brother," Merle shot back.

"Be nice, Merle," I reprimanded playfully, knowing that if I looked at Daryl's face right now, it would likely be as red as a tomato.

I shoved a CD in the player and turned the volume up a little. A smile took over my face as the opening notes of Where the Green Grass Grows filled the car.

"Ya know what, yer allowed to play DJ. No complaints back here," Merle called and I could hear the smile in his voice.

"I didn't expect you to be a Tim McGraw fan, Merle."

"Don't tell anyone. It'll ruin my reputation," he joked.

"Your secrets are safe with me, big guy."

I heard a chuckle as I leaned back in the seat and started singing along. I winced, when I felt the cold metal of the gun in my back. Having been so panicked when we started the drive, I had completely forgotten about it.

I leaned forward and pulled the gun out from behind me before dropping it into the cupholder. Daryl looked down at it briefly, before his eyes met mine and he raised an eyebrow.

"Carol," I said with a shrug, before realizing I probably shouldn't have said that, "I don't think I was supposed to tell anyone that, so nevermind."

Daryl smiled slightly and shook his head, his attention turning back to the road as he brought his thumb up to his mouth and started chewing the nail. It was the cutest thing I'd ever seen.

The drive continued with the brothers being silent and me providing entertainment in the form of karaoke. It was a comfortable silence, though. I'd caught sight of Merle in the rearview mirror smiling out the back window and nodding his head along to the music. Even Daryl had a peaceful expression on his face as his fingers drummed on the steering wheel.

I rolled the window down to let some fresh air in, although I felt like I should be enjoying the feeling of the car's air conditioner on my face. I set my feet up on the dash and put my hand out the window.

"Oh, this is my favorite song!" I exclaimed as Everywhere started playing.

Merle let out a deep chuckle as I started singing louder than I had before. I had been looking out the side window as I sang, having seemed to forget that I was in a post-apocalyptic world for a moment, when the car lurched to a stop, causing me to slide down in my seat and damn near fold myself in half.

"Damn, Daryl. Give me a warning before you try to send me through the windshield next time," I muttered as I started pushing myself up.

"Holy fuck," I heard Merle breathe and I thought I felt my heart stop.

If Merle was "holy fuck"-ing something, it had to be bad. My eyes flew to the scene in front of us and my heart actually did stop, I was pretty sure. A herd of walkers blocked the road about two-hundred feet in front of us, with a few scattered around the road a little closer. Not even just a herd of twenty or so. It had to be hundreds of them. The low sound of growls and moans drowned out Tim McGraw's voice until I couldn't hear anything else.

This happened in the show. Daryl, Michonne, Bob, and Tyreese had gotten stopped by a herd on the way to the college and had to make a mad dash through the woods to get away. Except in the show, Daryl had hit a walker and the car got stuck. That hadn't happened just now, so we still had time. I mentally kicked myself for not remembering this before.

"Turn around. Turn around, Daryl, before I have a fucking stroke," I said, sounding very much like I was already mid-stroke and tapping my hand aggressively on the dashboard.

"Hold on," he instructed me in a calm voice.

Before I could say anything else, Daryl had thrown the car in reverse and did a spin that could have been something out of Fast & Furious. It made my stomach twist and I felt like the coffee and oatmeal from breakfast were about to make a reappearance.

Mid turn, my eyes caught on ten or so walkers on the side of the road clawing at the trunk of a tree and staring up at its branches. I automatically assumed there was some kind of small animal that had caught their attention, but my eyes quickly looked up the tree to see a small figure clinging to a low branch for dear life. There was a person there. A child.

My eyes caught up with my brain as the head of the child popped up and watched the car start to accelerate. It was a young boy who looked as terrified as I felt.

My heart started beating hard. I didn't see anyone else around. Not anyone alive, at least. I couldn't leave him.

"Stop the fucking car!" I screamed as I reached for the door handle.

"Fuck ya mean?" Merle barked from the back as Daryl continued to push on the gas.

"Stop this fucking car, Daryl Dixon! Right now!" I demanded as I swung the door open.

I heard Daryl and Merle yelling at me as Daryl jerked the car to a stop and grabbed at my upper arm, but my right foot had already hit the pavement.

"There's a fucking kid!" I yelled, jerking myself out of his grasp.

There was a moment, as I flung myself out of the car, that I contemplated just getting back in and telling Daryl to floor it. A moment that I regretted even saying anything because what was I thinking? What was I going to do for this kid? I hadn't even been within six feet of a walker yet and here I thought I was going to take out a group of them and rescue this child without dying?

The moment passed quickly though as I began running the twenty feet separating me from the child, who's scared eyes stayed locked on me. I caught the attention of some of the stragglers and I saw them start towards me, but I kept going.

The sound of a click and then whirring through the air registered before I saw an arrow sink into the head of a walker at the trunk of the tree. Relief flooded through me as I realized they weren't going to let me do this alone.

Merle was beside me before I knew it as the dead turned, the falling body of their comrade alerting them to our arrival.

I told myself I didn't have to actually kill them, I just needed to get them down long enough to get the kid. The less noise, the better. I took all of the crippling fear that had settled deep in my limbs and pushed that shit down as hard as I could as we reached the walkers, who were now starting to slowly amble towards us.

Merle was on them, spearing one in the head with the blade attached to his hand quickly.

"Just get the kid," he grunted as he went for another one.

I could smell rotting flesh around me. I could hear the gnashing of teeth and the guttural groans coming from them, causing my stomach to twist again.

You can do this. Be brave, be brave, be brave.

One of them lunged at me and I side stepped as I brought my leg up in a kick, connecting with brittle bones of its knee. I heard a snap and the walker dropped to the ground. Good enough for me. Another launched itself towards me. I convinced myself in that split second that I was about to die, but another arrow flew through the air and pierced its head. The thing dropped as it came centimeters from grabbing my arm.

"Get the fucking kid!" Merle barked again, slicing through the head of another walker.

Trying to reign myself in, I grabbed one of the arrows Daryl had sent flying into a skull and yanked it out, the squelching sound of it ripping through brain matter and skin making me wince a little.

I tried to pep talk myself as I skirted around the slow moving dead individuals. You've watched this enough times on TV that you're practically a pro. Aim for the brain. Don't get bit. Don't get taken down.

Merle and Daryl were taking out the ones that I had gotten past behind me as I got within touching distance of the tree. There was one left that was still clawing at the tree and I sucked in a huge breath as I clutched the arrow in my hands like a dagger. You can do this.

Using all of my strength, I plunged the arrow into the walker's skull, old blood gushing out and getting on my hand. I fought the urge to gag as the body dropped. Putting my disgust aside, I looked up at the kid whose face had morphed from terror to wonder.

Dark, shaggy hair sat on top of his head, hanging in his hazel eyes as he watched me. He couldn't be more than eight or nine. I could see how skinny he was beneath his baggy black sweatshirt and jeans that were a couple sizes too big. HIs legs and arms were wrapped around the lowest branch on the tree like a koala. The internal war he was having with himself was apparent on his face, trying to figure out if he should trust me.

"Hi, honey. I'm Scarlett. Do you have family around? Parents who might be looking for you?" I asked him gently.

His head shook rapidly.

"My dad got bit," he said in a voice so sad it speared through my chest.

"We have to go. There's a herd of walkers right there. Take my hand and start climbing down," I said, holding my hand above my head to him.

"Dad said we can't trust anyone," he whispered, eyes wide as he looked at me.

"Your dad sounds very smart, but I want to help you. We have a group. There's other little kids your age. I'll keep you safe. Come on, sweetheart. We have to get out of here right now," I urged, trying to sound calm, even though I was on the verge of a massive panic attack.

"Wrap it up, Broadway. We have to go now!" Daryl called, before letting out a loud grunt.

"Come on. It's okay, I swear. Take my hand. Let me help you," I pressured, reaching up higher.

He watched me for what felt like the longest fifteen seconds of my life and then held his arm out to me.

"Just jump into my arms. I'll catch you, I promise."

His eyes closed tight and then he let himself roll from the branch and into my arms. I had braced for impact, but it wasn't necessary. The kid was light as a feather.

"Hold onto my neck," I commanded and his little arms wrapped around me in a vice grip as I took off in a sprint towards the car, "I got him! Let's go!"

Daryl and Merle followed close behind me, keeping an eye on the members of the herd that had heard the struggle and were closing in on us.

"Oh fuck, oh fuck, oh fuck," I panted as I dove into the front seat of the car and slammed the door closed behind me.

The boy's face was buried in my neck, his legs were draped across mine to the side, and his arms were still wrapped around me as Merle and Daryl quickly followed us in with Daryl tossing the crossbow in the back seat. Daryl moved fast, jerking the car in to drive and slamming on the gas. We took off like a rocket and I let out a shuddering breath.

I could hear Merle and Daryl panting around me.

Holy fuck. I can't believe I just did that.

"What the fucking fuck was that?!" Merle yelled from the back.

I felt the boy's arms tense around me and I gently put my hands on his shoulders and pushed him back until I could see his face. He had tears falling down his cheeks in steady rivulets, paving a path through the dirt caked on his cheeks.

"What's your name?" I asked him in as soothing a tone as I could muster while trying to pull air into my lungs.

"Jackson," he whispered.

"Jackson, huh? That's a great name. How old are you, Jackson?"

"Ten."

"Ten? Holy cow! You're practically an old man," I said in mock shock, earning me a small smile from him as his tears slowed down, "Well, I already told you my name is Scarlett, but my friends used to call me Lettie. I only let really special people call me that."

He looked at me with wide eyes.

"Can I call you Lettie?"

"Hmm…" I pondered, making my face look like I was deep in thought, "You know what? I think so, because you do seem extra special."

"I do?" He asked.

"You do. I mean, who else would think to hide in a tree like that? That means you're smart, which means you're special."

He leaned forward to whisper in my ear, "I only let special people call me Jax. You can call me that if you want."

"I'm honored," I whispered back to him with a smile, "Are you hungry? Thirsty?"

He nodded his head frantically. Turning my head to look back slightly, my eyes connected with Merle's, who seemed to have been watching the scene before him.

"Can you hand me a snack and a water bottle? Please?"

He didn't answer, but started digging through the backpack on the floorboard near his feet. Passing me a water and a few granola bars, I handed all of it to Jax, who started eating the granola with a ferocity before downing most of the bottle of water in one long drink.

"When was the last time you ate?" I asked him softly.

"When my dad got bit a couple days ago," he replied before finishing off the water.

Not wanting to force him to talk about it, I bobbed my head up and down.

"Did I introduce you to my friends yet?"

He shook his head as he glanced back at Merle and over at Daryl.

"This right here," I said, placing my hand lightly on Daryl's arm, "is Daryl. Daryl is the coolest. He's really nice and he has a crossbow that he uses that shoots arrows super fast. And behind me is Merle. You'll like him. He's funny and did you see his hand? How cool is that?"

Jax peered around me at Merle's hand, which Merle had held up for Jax to look at. Jax's mouth popped open and his eyes went even wider as he looked at Merle.

"That's awesome," he said to Merle in awe.

"It is pretty awesome, huh?" I smiled at him, "We're safe with Daryl and Merle. They're going to protect us."

Jax looked like he was thinking.

"You protected me," he said.

"I tried, with Merle and Daryl's help."

"Thank you," he said sincerely before looking at Daryl and then Merle, "Thank you guys, too."

Daryl and Merle both grunted some unintelligible version of 'you're welcome'.

"Do you want to crawl in the backseat with Merle and relax for a bit? I bet you could use a nap," I offered the boy.

He thought for a moment before nodding his head. I heard Merle maneuver Daryl's crossbow into the floorboard, but as I went to lift the child, he wrapped his arms around my neck one more time. I couldn't help but hold him in a tight hug. This poor, broken boy. I wanted nothing more than to keep him in my arms, but I needed a moment to freak out and another moment to talk to Daryl and Merle.

He eventually loosened his hold on my neck and I was able to help him crawl into the backseat. He curled up in a ball on the seat and was asleep in minutes. I peeled off my flannel and leaned in the back to place it over his sleeping body before settling back in the seat and facing forward.

Without any notice, the events of the last twenty minutes caught up to me and I felt sick to my stomach. I killed a walker. I saved a child. I almost got us fucking killed. My heart started pounding all over again and I placed the palms of my hands against my eye sockets and leaned forward until my forehead was resting against the dashboard as I pulled deep breaths into my lungs.

"Holy shit. Holy fucking shit," I breathed out.

"You didn't even grab your damn gun," Daryl growled.

"She didn't say a damn thing! Ya can't just get a wild hair up yer ass and run off playin' Captain America when we have a whole herd of the dead breathin' down our damn necks! Ya could have fuckin' died!" Merle whisper-yelled from the backseat in an attempt not to wake Jax up.

"I wasn't going to let him die," I mumbled, still trying to focus on my breathing.

"And we weren't going to let you die," Daryl said, his voice gruff, "Next time you want to put a cape on and run off to save the day, say something first."

"I didn't have time for that!" I snapped, "They were everywhere. He was barely hanging on to that branch. I won't apologize for what I did!"

"No one's askin' ya to, damn it. Maybe just more than a six second heads up would have been nice," Merle grumbled.

"I just need a minute, please. I can't even think straight right now. I feel like I can't breathe," I rushed out, rolling the window down and moving my head to rest on the doorframe.

In, out. In, out. In, out.

After a few minutes, I calmed down slightly. Everything was fine. I was alive. The kid was alive. Merle and Daryl were good enough to get an attitude with me. We were okay.

"You alright?" Daryl's voice sounded.

I slowly sat back in my seat and nodded my head.

"Right as rain, or whatever. How long is this detour going to add to our trip?" I asked, looking over at him.

"The fuck are ya talkin' about, girl? We're goin' back to the prison. Right the fuck now," Merle said from the back.

"The hell if we are, Merle Dixon. We need those supplies!"

I'd be damned if I went back there with nothing. The stuff at the college could save a ton of people. They had no idea the shitstorm that would settle over us if we didn't get what we came out here for.

"I don't know. If we backtrack and go around it adds an extra forty miles to the trip. And we have the kid with us now. We should probably just head back and try again on a different day," Daryl said, glancing at me.

"Absolutely not. Jax will be fine with us. I didn't come all the way out here just to go back empty handed. I want to finish this," I demanded, crossing my arm over my chest.

"Don't you pout like that, thinkin' it's gonna change my mind," Daryl grumbled.

I stomped my foot on the floorboard, "I'm not pouting. I want to get what we came out here for, Daryl. Please."

"Actin' like a child up there," Merle mumbled behind me.

"You say one more thing to me that's not 'yes, Scarlett, I would love to continue our trip', Merle Dixon, and I swear I will turn around and punch you in the throat," I seethed, turning to glare at the man behind me.

Which only caused him to laugh.

"Fuck it. If ya want to finish this, I'm down," Merle said.

I looked over to Daryl who had a smile on his face.

"Whatever. Damn. It was nice about an hour ago when it was quiet in here," he said, though I could hear the playfulness in his tone.

I beamed at him.

"But it wasn't quiet. I was serenading you the entire drive, remember?"

"Do that again. Stick a CD in and stop talkin'," he grunted with another smile.

I snatched the CD holder out of the glovebox again and started flipping through. Trading out Tim McGraw for Fleetwood Mac, I threw the holder back in and leaned back in the seat with a small smile on my face.