Check Me Out

by CrypticBeans

Raising one child, fostering another and running a book store is no easy feat. Especially when Hizashi has to balance his two other jobs but he's doing it! Or so he believes. It's only when he finds himself meeting Shouta Aizawa that his world seems to flip over and spin on its head.

8. Butterflies and Self Love!

"Sooooo, are you going to tell me what happened the other night with Aizawa?"

Hizashi flinched before ducking his head down when he felt that familiar heat gathering in the back of his neck. Stinging in the tips of his ears. Laying out on his bed with an open bottle of nail polish balancing precariously next to his hand as he brushed an even layer of that deep purple onto his nails. Focusing on it rather than looking at his phone he had propped up on a pillow with the smirking image of Nemuri. "Nothing happened. We were talking on the back porch, and he was drinking his wine."

"Mmmm, yeah, no. Sorry, I'm not buying that! You were blushing, so was he, and you were pretty close to one another! You think I can't read a room? Or the vibe between two people?" Dark, groomed brows raised at him then when her eyes sparkling wickedly when she then squirmed before adjusting her hold on her phone with a playful hum. "It's okay to be attracted to someone, Zashi. You're a man, aren't you? You can admit it! C'mon, just say he's hot! Say it loud and proud, babe!"

"No, you evil, evil woman! You're the literal worst , you know that? I don't get why you're pressing me like this!" The woman merely smiled expectantly at him when he pointedly looked down at his hand. Working a layer onto his thumb when he felt his lips pursing into a slight pout as his brows squeezed together. In all their nightly calls, he'd sworn he'd never been more flustered than tonight. Peeking up at the expectant woman, he sighed out in a huff. "I'm not saying it, Nem. You can look at me like that all night and I won't."

"Zashi, my love, you are a bisexual disaster on a good night. You can lie to yourself, and you can lie to each other, but I saw it! It's okay to think someone is hot! That someone is sexy! Hell, I've heard that it's totally normal to think of fucking strangers! At least by single friends that it's normal! Like seeing someone on the street and imagining what it'd be like? You can admit to me if you think Aizawa is attractive is all I'm saying! I won't judge you one bit! I mean, hell, I'm marred but me and Oboro find him hot!"

"That's because you are a straight woman, and your husband is a sex-repulsed asexual who also is also a pansexual. Of course, he's going to agree he's hot, so you don't feel alone in it, babes!" Capping his nail polish, he blew gently on his nails before waving his hand awkwardly before clicking his tongue piercing off of his teeth at the dark-haired woman. "It doesn't matter if I think he's attractive or handsome. It's not going to happen, plain and simple. We're friends, Nem, and we're only tentatively using that word."

"Mhmmm and I bet it was him you were texting after you picked up my call, wasn't it?" He looked away from his phone screen with that heat rushing to his face when the woman crowed with the feedback crackling over the speakers before she beamed at him proudly. "Zashi, it's okay! Honestly, I think it's cute that you got yourself a new handsome little friend! Friends or not, you can find someone attractive! I'd say though, from how defensive he was when Oboro was questioning him, that he definitely felt something."

"He didn't feel anything other than being a bit drunk off of wine, Nem! Don't go making a weird romance where he's interested when he's not!" There was a bit to his voice that had sky blue eyes widening at him with a look of hurt when he sighed out before looking down at his painted nails before blowing gently at them. "Look, I know you want me to get back into dating but it's not going to work like that. I don't need to be rushing out with any hot guy I see when I have other stuff in my life that take priority!

"Can't you, just for me, admit that you like him? That you think he's hot?" Nemuri's voice held an exasperated tone to it when she looked at him expectantly as his cheeks burned with that blush. He pinched his lips together tightly before waving his hand lightly to try and dry his nails faster when Nemuri clicked her tongue at him with that silent reproach. "C'mon! It's not gonna kill you to admit that he's hot, is it? It's not going to be the end of the world if you call him handsome, is it? Come on, just once?"

Pinching his lips into a tight line as his face burned, he found himself unable to disagree with Nemuri. Hadn't he been shamelessly gawking at Shouta the previous night at the party? Been admiring the cut of his jaw? The shape of his nose, the arch of his brow and his cheekbones? Admiring his throat with his Adam's Apple? The way his hair fell to his shoulders in its half up do? Admired his eyes? Didn't he think it a million times that he was- "Fine, if it gets you off my ass, I think he's handsome, alright?"

It had Nemuri squealing with such delight it had him flinching at the overwhelming crack of his phone speaker when Nemuri beamed brilliantly at him. As if she were proud of him admitting it out loud. She squirmed in her spot with the phone being adjusted when that sparkling gaze had his face ripping with a fresh wave of heat. "I knew it! I knew you'd admit it! Because he is! He's a very handsome man and it's totally fine to look and acknowledge that, Zashi! Ah, I'm so proud of you!"

"That still doesn't mean that anything is going to happen with him, Nem." He fussed with the bottle of nail polish off to the side of him with a slight pout to his lips. He shifted slightly with an awkward rock when he then found his gaze lifting to the phone screen again at the waiting woman who smiled at him brilliantly. "And besides, you don't even know if he's interested in men, let alone female-to-male transgender people! fI he's gay he won't like me one bit! He won't like my bits any more than a straight woman would!"

"Well, I don't know if he is gay, but you have strap on's that he can choke on, right? He doesn't have to interact with your bits if you don't want him too!" Frowning at Nemuri, the woman sighed out with her hand finding its way to her cheek as he pressed lightly on the nails of his left hand. Dry. Thank God. "I'm just saying, Aizawa is interested in you whether that's single dad friendship or not. I just wanted you to be happy he was interested. Aren't you a teeny, tiny bit interested about him? Happy about that?"

Was he? God, he'd been interested since he first wheeled that cart out and found Shouta standing in his shop. He'd been so curious about him it was downright shameful. But his words had rang true whether Nemuri wanted to say it or not; the reality was that there were some people who wouldn't want to be with a female to male transgender person. It was all about preference and he understood it. "I'd like to be friends with Aizawa if I can be. He seems like he's struggling with a baby, and I want to help. He's interesting."

"Interesting is good! Honestly, you both would get along together like pop rocks! You just gotta give it a chance, Zashi!" Nemuri beamed at him from over the screen when the woman then shifted with spots of pink forming on her cheeks with that smile softening then. "I'm glad that you're doing better though! How are Izu and Toshi doing? I haven't seen them in a while, and I miss them! Boys are always so gross as kids but they're the sweetest little kids I've ever met!"

Smiling at Nemuri, he twisted at the nail polish top to ensure it was on before shifting to blow at the nails of his right hand to get then to dry faster. "They're doing alright! If anything, I have a play group thing tomorrow to look forward to! I decided I'd take on the kids and give the moms a break for once. I have Uraraka, Todoroki, Kirishima, Bakugo and Kaminari's kids tomorrow so I'll be busier than ever. Have you looked over the binder yet? Did Oboro?"

"Oh! Yeah, we did! I was thinking you could come over for lunch on Saturday with the boys and we can talk about it? That way all of us are off work and there'll be no hiccups when it comes to talking about it! Oboro said-Oh!" The dark-haired woman paused then glanced off screen with dark lashes fluttering when her glasses slipped down her nose slightly as her eyes widened. Those wide eyes flicked back to him with a slow grin curling over her lips. "I think I need to go! I can call you later, right? Like, in the morning?"

"How about you just say that your husband wants to dick you down without you lying to me about it." He tried for that playful, huffy tone that had her throwing her head back with a laugh as dark locks brushed against reddening cheeks when he then flicked his hand at the camera. "If some man is more important than your best friend then go ahead and say it! I won't let my feelings be hurt because my best friend wants to fuck rather than talk to me! Hmph!"

Another laugh burst out of the woman, overwhelming his speakers just a bit when she then blew him an air kiss and a playful wink. Her eyes darting off screen then back to him when the woman shifted with her face coming a bit closer. "I knew you'd understand! Why not do something for yourself tonight? The night is still young! Do some self-love tonight! Why not take a bath or use one of those shower bombs? I love you, babe, but I'll talk to you in the morning, okay? And we'll pick apart this Aizawa thing then?"

"Fine, fine! I love you too, Nem, and I love you too, Oboro! Hope you have fun without me!" The woman smirked at him before giving him a pointed look that clearly told that yes, she would most definitely be having fun without him. It was a look he'd seen countless times on the woman's face over the years to know what it meant. The call was then cut off when Nemuri squealed with utter delight leaving him sighing as he closed out FaceTime.

Moving his phone up off of the pillow, he laid his left hand out on it while his nails dried as he reached for his TV remote with the right to flip through the channels. With both boys in bed, the night really was young like Nemuri had said. He could take a bath if he desired. A shower with that odd shower bomb he'd been gifted that morning by Nemuri. The night was his to do as he pleased. He found himself glancing at his phone with a quiet hum. All day, throughout work, he'd texted Shouta on and off.

Playing that silly game of twenty questions that had him damn near snickering over his phone at the childish-ness of it. Pleased that Shouta still played along with it. It was unexpectedly nice to be talking to Shouta the day after. That odd tension seeming nonexistent over texts with their boundaries laid clear for this budding friendship of theirs. An easy back and forth over text where they had joked with one another about the awkward tension from the previous night with the black-haired man apologizing.

Asking if his touches had been unwanted when it was far from that. In hindsight, it truly wasn't that bad, but he could see how it could be seen as well. He'd waved off the man's concerns with the assurances it was fine. It's not like the black-haired man had jumped his bones or anything like that. He liked talking to Shouta, he found. There was a witty, dry sarcasm to his responses that had him laughing to himself when he read them. It left him wondering how the hell he'd missed out on being friends with Shouta in their youth.

He couldn't change the past, but he liked getting to know the other twenty-six year old now. He dropped the remote down after settling on Animal Planet when he pressed lightly at the nails of his left hand. The deep purple nearly black in the low lighting when he hummed quietly. Not quite yet. He then shifted before picking up the remote to resume his aimless flipping. When Hitoshi and Izuku had come home the green-haired boy had been singing Haru's praises. Chirruping to him all day like an adorable, excited chick.

Talking all morning long about how much fun he had at Uncle Haru and Auntie Mai's. Going on and on about what they had done that afternoon, how their bedtime routine had gone, and he had found it adorable. He hadn't told Izuku that his mother and father's parental rights were being terminated. That he was one step away from adopting him. He wanted to make it a small, private party when he handed over the certifications of his adoption. A small one with him and Hitoshi then he'd plan something bigger.

It looked like an air tight, closed adoption once the rights were terminated in November. He was excited. Over the moon ready to adopt his son properly in the eye of the law. Shifting slightly, he put the remote down again when he began to slid to the edge of the bed where he swung his legs over them. Standing up, he made his way around the bed with a pep to his step. His throat was much dryer than he'd like it to be. The soft thuds of his feet over the floor were deafening when he approached his bedroom doors.

Reaching out, he flipped the lock then pushed the doors open carefully allowing Twix and Sterling to dart into his room when he stepped out into the darkened hallway. Making his way down the short distance into the dark kitchen, he made his way over to the counters. The light brushing slap of his bare feet over the floor deafening in the darkness as he opened a cabinet. Reaching up for a cup, he shut the door with a light thud before turning to the fridge. Fussing with the ice setting, he flinched at how loud the ice was.

Deafening as it filled his cup while hitting at the sides in a rattle before he turned the light on it before switching to water. It'd been an unbelievably long day. Tomorrow was promising to be longer with his baby-sitting agreement for not one but five other children on top of his own. God, what had he been thinking? He didn't mind it, but seven children were enough to leave him wondering if that made up half a pre-school class. His sons had, at least, seemed excited about their friends coming here for the first time.

It had them sorting through their toys in the living room, their bedroom, and the playroom they had downstairs. He'd have to get snacks ready, juice pouches and bottles from the store, and water on hand. Kids show up and ready for them. He pulled his cup away from the machine once it neared the top with ice cracking and popping lightly from the water as he turned the little light off. Lifting it up, his eyes flicked over to the corner of his counters; at the bottle of bourbon he had there. Tucked away and forgotten.

He'd shoved it into the corner out of reach, but he'd forgotten to grab it earlier during dinner when Izuku and Hitoshi questioned what the bottle was. Better to stash it away before he had more kids in his home. He shuffled over to grab the bottle when he paused once again. Half a glass did sound awfully good right now. He'd hardly touched it the other night and he knew for a fact he liked this brand. Pursing his lips speculatively, he opened the cabinet for one of his short glasses to hold onto awkwardly.

Grabbing at the bourbon bottle to tuck up under his arm before grabbing his small cup that he quickly got ice for. And then he was on his way back to his bedroom with a jingling collar running after him. Entering the hallway, the soft golden lighting of his bedroom spilling out into the hallway beckoned him back into the softly lit area. Making his way to his bedside table, he placed his large cup of water down then placed his small glass down as he grabbed at the bottle. Humming quietly to himself as he untwisted the cap.

He poured himself half a glass before capping it again. He spun on his feet with a pep to his step back to his doorway where he shut the doors with a light grind in their tracks. Flipping the lock, he sighed out softly to himself before looking down at his loose fitting tank top. Should he forsake it tonight? It was warm in his room so he could pop open the window for that cool breeze outside. He weaved on his feet uncertainly before making his way back to the bed. Later. He'd strip for bed if he really wanted too.

Climbing up onto it again with a spread creaking quietly beneath him where he leaned forward with a grunt to grab at his remote. Settling back against the headboard, he grabbed at his glass of bourbon and lifted it up to take a sip. Wincing at the scalding path it took down his throat to his stomach, he hummed softly when he curled his legs up slightly towards his stomach. The deep purple of his toe nails glowed up at him much like his fingertips when he found himself flipping through the channels again.

He was humming quietly to himself when Sterling trotted over his bed before settling down against his thigh where she squirmed. Flashing her stomach and chest, he smiled before reaching down to comb his fingers through her fluffy fur. Scratching gently at her stomach when purrs erupted from the small cat. When he first took her in off the streets, he'd been worried about her ear. It had looked like it had been cut at the tip when, in reality, it had been a clean rip according to the vets that had looked over it.

It had left him feeling protective over the small, fierce gray cat with her white-paws when he realized she never grew to the size of Cappella or Twix. It was then the vet told him that while she was fully matured, she would stay small. More the size of a six to seven month old cat rather than a fully sized one. She was his baby. Smiling down at the small cat as he scratched at her stomach, she rubbed her head against his arm. Her face against him. Giggling at the small arms wrapping around his arm to hold onto him.

He then sipped at his bourbon when his phone pinged. A text that he knew for fact wasn't going to be Nemuri. Could it be the group chat? Chose to drain the rest of his cup in one go before shuffling forward causing Sterling to meow up at him in complaint when he crawled halfway forward to grab at his phone. Settling back against the headboard as that animal planet show played, he unlocked his screen to find a text waiting for him. Shouta. It was amazing the flutter to his stomach when it came to this man.

Something that he did his best to smother down but the excitement remained the same. Like he had a pen-pal that he was finally hearing back from. A pen-pal that he looked forward to talking to. Tapping on the notification for the text as their chat popped up and loaded with texts flooding the screen. He shifted in his spot with Sterling climbing into his lap where she plopped down. Purring deafeningly as her face pressed into his thigh when Cappella jumped onto the bed with Twix. Startling the jumpy cat.

Shouta: so wht r u up 2 tonite? anythin interesting?

Hizashi: Hey! Not much, honestly, just had half a glass of bourbon so I'll be sleeping good tonight lol

Hizashi: To be fair though I am half tempted to make some vanilla milk tonight if I end up not being able to sleep, you know? Have you ever HAD vanilla milk before? Or heard of it?

Shouta: cnt say that i hve but ik i like vanilla so tht sounds delish

Hizashi: Oh, it is! It puts Toshi and Izu right to sleep when they can't sleep! Sometimes, when I'm only making some for me or another adult, I'll put a splash of bourbon in it and it's really not half bad! 👌

Shouta: u'll hve 2 make it 4 me sometime so i can try it 😁

Hizashi: Oh, absolutely! I can even teach you the regular type which is honestly so simple! It might even work with Eri! How's she doing? Still teething? 😟

Shouta: oh absoltly, she seems 2 thnk screamin & hitting me will mke it stop

Shouta: i feel so bad 4 her, u know? like i cnt make it stop & shes crying day in & day out whle barely sleeping

Hizashi: Have you talked to her doctor about it yet? I know when I adopted Toshi, and he was still teething a bit that they were able to give me this numbing stuff for his gums

Shouta: i did & the soonest they hve it rdy is tomrrw but i dont hve it 2nite & shes all red from screaming & i feel helpless

Hizashi: It's tough but as soon as you get that medicine put it on her gums when she starts fussing! Babies are complicated but you'll be hella surprised at how it'll be like night and day with the medicine!

Shouta: "hella"? did u RLLY just pull tht word out on me?

Hizashi: What? What's wrong with hella?

Shouta: oh nothing lmao 😂

Hizashi: Okay then, keep it to yourself, douche! I'll figure out why saying hella is such a big deal for you 😂

Shouta: its just funny 2 hear some1 actlly use hella in such a serious mnner is all lol

Hizashi: You could've just SAID that! I was about to open a damn urban dictionary link if you didn't tell me lmao

Shouta: no not urban dictionary, plz save ur eyes now

Hizashi: I didn't open it but if I had you'd have been paying for damages to my poor ego and embarrassment!

Shouta: cnt get wht I dont even gt biweekly lmfaoooo

Hizashi: Try having your paycheck hanging by how many people come into your store haha!

Shouta: i dnt even want 2 imagine tht lol how do u own a house if thts the case?

Hizashi: My mothers actually bought it for me! Put a down payment on the mortgage too so it wasn't as high on me while I was going through college! It's a nice house and was waaaaaay cheaper when I was in my early twenties in college.

Hizashi: I'd say it was about as expensive as college now that I think about it 😅

Shouta: lucky bastard. my mother bscally threw me out & said 'don't let the door hit you where the good Lord split you"& tht was tht

Hizashi: Geeeeez, that's fucked up 😦 As a parent, I couldn't imagine doing that to Izu or Toshi when they're teenagers

Shouta: same. i dont thnk id have it in me 2 do tht to Eri. its cruel but my mother gve me a headstrt in her cruelty lol

Shouta: but hey, i dont mean to cut this shrt, i love talkin wit u but Eri just went down

Hizashi: Say no more! Please, get some sleep, Shouta! Resting while the baby is sleeping is literally the first rule when it comes to parents and babies! I'll talk to you tomorrow then?

Shouta: tmrrw. i hope u enjy th rest of ur night, zashi. pour a drink in my hnor & i'll tlk 2 u 2mrrow 😌

Hizashi: I'll talk to you tomorrow! 😌

Sighing out as he turned his phone screen off, he tossed it onto the bed where he then turned to pick up his cup of water. His stomach was fluttering with those metaphorical butterflies which he attempted to drown by gulping at his water. They were friends. And yet there was something so new about it that he found himself getting butterflies over. He gulped at his water before putting it down with a watery sigh as he rubbed at his mouth. Shouta was funny. Witty. He had a dry humor that had him delighted.

There was an enjoyment to that dry humor of his that made itself known throughout the day. Something about its blunt edges just made it so enjoyable. He could effortlessly see himself being friends with someone like Shouta Aizawa. In becoming best friends with. He honestly wondered how their social circles had touched the way they did but they had never run into him. To be fair, now that he thought on it, he could recall Oboro hanging out with a black-haired teen who always dashed off when he would be approaching.

Or when their conversation was done. He'd never been properly introduced to Shouta, but it didn't matter. High school or as adults, he wanted nothing more than to be friends with Shouta. He wanted to have someone to talk to that wasn't Tensei who always tried to be reasonable with him. Or Oboro who tried to rationalize while Emi and Nemuri seemed delighted in the more scandalous options. Reaching down to smooth his hands over soft, fluffy gray fur with white paws stretching up to knead lazily at his thigh.

He'd promised to take pictures of his cats and send them to Shouta. The black-haired man had sent him pictures of a sleek white cat with brilliant emerald eyes called Cosmo. A fluffy black cloud with large yellow eyes called Void who he felt was accurately named. And an equally large, fluffy orange cat with a stunning shade of green eyes named Simba. Shouta had beautiful cats which left him to send pictures of Cappella, his calico and her deep blue eyes. Of Sterling with her light blue eyes and her tiny white paws.

Of Twix with his large copper eyes and twitching tail. He was surprised Twix was hanging around him tonight. The cat seemed far more attached to Hitoshi than to him, but he didn't mind; if anything, one day Hitoshi might want Twix. Sighing out to himself, he grabbed at the remote when he began to flick idly through the channels. What movies were on? He was sure he could find something to watch before he turned in for the night. Nemuri's statement, however, buzzed around his head like a bee that refused to die.

No, not a bee but more like a wasp. Self-love, huh? What exactly would qualify as self-love? As self-care? He knew that he didn't mind running a bath for himself tonight and doing something with lavender. Something to help him sleep tonight without the need of making vanilla milk near eleven o'clock at night. He wished that Nemuri had stayed on the phone longer. He could only imagine the fun she was having. And he couldn't help but feel a small prick of jealousy. All over the fact he knew what they were doing.

That he knew exactly what she was getting and what he most certainly was not. It had him shifting slightly in his spot when he found himself frowning down at his lap where Sterling purred. Was it wrong to be jealous of his friend for having sex? She had mentioned dating to him but where would he even start? Where would he go? He didn't want to bring strangers home so one night stands here were a no-go unless they wanted to climb out the window of his bedroom. That wouldn't be impossible but definitely uncomfortable.

Besides, apps always had bots and catfish so why would he want to waste his time that way? But why should he feel jealous over someone getting sex? He could date. He could try. The least he could do was try, wasn't it? He wanted a lover so surely, he could find one, couldn't he? Going to a gay club had never steered him wrong before in terms of finding a lover to bring home for the night. Someone to fuck in the backseat of his car in the parking lot of said club. To let himself be groped on the dance floor before being dragged away.

God, when was the last time he let himself be so impulsive? When he pulled someone into his backseat where had his pants choice of the night tugged down? The thrill of having his underwear bunched around his thighs as his hips were arched up? To feel the heat of someone soaking into his back? Since hips struck at him with such brutal strength? Or what about the time he'd had a lunch date from an app only to end up with himself being stripped of his pants on his lunch break in the backroom of his shop.

When he was being eaten out and fingered so good he was in danger of howling. He knew that he could do it. He could go out to a strip club or a gay bar with Nemuri if need be and find someone to love him like that. To find a fling who wouldn't remember his name and he wouldn't recall the face of. A faceless lover that would merely add a tally to the lovers of his past. When he'd denied anything romantic happening with Shouta, he'd meant it. Yes, he thought the man was handsome. He was beautiful in that tired way..

Sexy but that didn't mean romantic feelings came from it. But the idea of putting himself out there again? It had his stomach fluttering with nerves at the mere thought of it. He knew it wasn't mature to let himself be tugged in the backseat of a car just to have sex, but it was the thrill he wanted. To have someone's hands on his hips as they kept them arched up. To indulge in a one night stand that would lead to nowhere. To fuck someone and know that he wouldn't be seeing them again. That it was a one and done.

He knew that Nemuri hadn't meant anything truly with the insinuation that something more could happen with Shouta. She knew it and he knew it, but it was fun to play with the idea, wasn't it? He'd recalled at least a thousand times today alone the rough feel of Shouta's fingers on his cheek. On the shell of his ear as they danced around his hearing aid. It was fun to play with the idea that a spark could be maintained like that. To have a lover right there ready and waiting for him. God, was he horny?

Or was he merely getting caught up in his own head? He dragged his teeth over his bottom lip which he then picked lightly at it with a low hum. He needed to get his mind out of the gutter. He shouldn't have let his mind wonder anywhere near the gutter if he was honest with himself. Scratching at Sterling's head, right behind her cut ear, he found himself opening up the guide on the TV. Typing in the first number of the movie channels, he hummed quietly when he clicked on the first movie to pop up.

And from there he began to flip through the channels. His cheeks held a trace of warmth to them as Sterling rubbed her face up against his palm as she purred. Flipping from one channel to the next he found himself on a channel that was taking a bit to load. Three dots across the center of his screen bobbed lightly much to his curiosity. What was taking the channel so long to respond to something as innocent as flipping the channel? And then, much to his increasing interest, the picture finally came in.

The quality was- Well, it wasn't God awful, but it wasn't clear. It was fuzzy; as if it were a rerun of an old show. It had him tilting his head as he slid his hand over Sterling's smooth fur as she vibrated beneath his palm. He leaned back against his headboard with his hand wavering before placing the remote down next to him on the pillow. It looked like one of those old tv dramas with the woman's over voice narrating the events previously in the show. Like it was a diary entry. Why had his TV taken so long to load this up?

There was nothing wrong with the content so far, but could it be because it was an old movie? An old show? Or was the channel just acting up on him? He'd have to call the cable network and check it out. Settling back with his hands moving over fur of the vibrating cat in his lap and against his thigh where he reached down. Smoothing his hand over Cappella's back down to her tail which flicked up at him playfully. He couldn't deny the quality of the show wasn't the best, but it wasn't so indistinguishable.

It left him feeling old in an odd way to see the fuzzy quality to the clearly old show. Scratching behind cat ears, he found himself riveted to the quiet narration over the show when the scene began to shift. Melting into one of a darker scene, no doubt made to be night time, with a woman walking across a porch in nothing but a towel wrapped around her. Dripping from the hot tub behind her no doubt when he found his brows raising at the sudden appearance of a man coming in out of the left side of the screen.

And his face ripped with heat as he watched the man approaching the woman with such confidence before ripping her towel off. And it had him scrambling for the remote instinctively to flip the channel right as lips were crushing down together in a sizzling kiss when he flipped the channel quickly. His heart throbbed against his chest with solid hits before sprinting quickly as the cats around him grumbled while his face burned. He found his legs stiffly set together with his hand clutching tightly at the remote.

Buttons pressing into his palm. Okay. Okay, okay, so it couldn't be what he was thinking it to be, was he? Dragging his teeth over his lip before biting down on it, he found his thumb sliding over the buttons to the channel button. Was it what he was thinking? Or was it one of those risqué movies where ripping a towel off wasn't the biggest thing back then? Or was it exactly what it was leading up to be? He looked down at the cats laying in his lap, against his legs, and he swallowed. He couldn't change it back.

Not with them in the room. He knew that adult movies or sex scenes meant nothing to cats it still left him red faced at the thought of turning the channel and watching with them in here. He gently scooped Cappella and Sterling up in his arms where small heads pressed into his shoulders. Nails digging into his chest as he slid to the edge of the bed to swing his legs over before standing up. Making his way to the bedroom door, he squatted awkwardly to get the doors unlocked before nudging it open.

Gently tossing Cappella and Sterling into the hallway before shutting his doors quickly. Turning to Twix at the foot of his bed, he rushed over and scooped the boy up with copper eyes widening at him when he walked to the doors. Easing them open just enough to gently toss him out with his sisters who complained at him in their chorusing meows when he snapped the doors shut. Flipping the locks, his face burned fiercely he turned to walk over to the bed. Sitting on the edge with a leg tucked beneath him.

The remote in hand when he pressed lightly on the button with the tip of his tongue tracing the shape of it. Just a look. He wanted to take just one little look. Just one to see if it was really what he thought it to be then he'd do something else with his night. Swallowing, he turned the volume on his TV down halfway to keep it quiet when he took a deep breath. One. Two. Three. He flipped the channel where those three dots danced across his screen with the unnamed show flashing on the bottom of the screen.

The loading time, much to his surprise, didn't take much time the second time round when the screen was loading. And his face burned at the low moans and gasps spilling out of his TV at their low pitch as he sucked in a breath. He'd watched plenty of porn in his life. He wasn't reliant on it given his experience with past lovers but he'd glanced at it once or twice. And tonight was no different. It had him holding his breath at the sight on the TV screen as he watched that same haired man above that dark-haired woman from before.

Moaning, twisting, squirming beneath the man with gasps and whimpers of delight with red nails clutching at upper arms. The positioning of the couple had her legs spread apart and lifted up with feet dangling by his elbows with his own legs spread apart as he leaned forward. Giving a damn clear sight of his thrusts as he watched with a vague sense of fascination at the sight of the dark-haired man's cock disappearing into the woman. It had his face burning at the sight, yet he couldn't tear his gaze away.

The show was fussy, of course, but God if it didn't have heat flickering under his skin with his cheeks throbbing lightly from the force of his blush. Was it merely inevitable that he would find his mind in the gutter? Was the world giving him a sign to do something about it? Or was it merely a damn hilarious coincidence that he'd flip to this? It certainly was a damn coincidence that had him giggling then to himself when his phone buzzed behind him. Nemuri already? Or someone else? He didn't care. Not at all.

Not when his mind was all too awed at the sight of watching the twists and squirms of the actors on screen. The quiet, barely audible wet squelch he caught with each snapping thrust down into the woman. The way folds of skin glistened in the lighting of the set. The way his cock glistened from the wetness. The roll of his back and shoulders with hips snapping down like it was the greatest thing. He could catch the faint sound of the dark haired man's balls slapping at the woman's skin when he came forward.

God, it made his face hot. Had him leaning forward awkwardly to catch the quiet, murmur of the man's voice speaking, yet it was barely audible. Hell, he was lucky to be catching the woman, but she was louder than the man. He swallowed feeling that tightness in his throat when he found himself turning the volume up a few notches. And God if it didn't have his stomach fluttering at the airy moans leaving the woman at a louder volume. The low, snapping groans of the man above her that broke up his grunts.

Fuck him, when was the last time he'd been in such a position? He'd used that pretty new toy Nemuri had given him, but it hadn't been something real. His leg uncurled allowing him to straddle the corner of his bed awkwardly when he shifted with hips pressing down. And it had him jumping at the jolt racing up his back coaxing it to arch slightly. His breath catching at a cry leaving his TV when the couple on the screen flipped finally. Fuck, it had him mesmerized watching hips rolling down against the man.

Watching with utter riveted fascination when the woman then sank onto his cock. The wet, slick sounds had his thighs twitching to- What? Stand up for a closer view? To shift back on his bed? He didn't know what he wanted to do but he was mesmerized. Awed at the couple fucking on his TV. God, it had him feeling hot watching the actresses hips moving quickly as she rode the actor beneath her. The front view that allowed him to gawk shamelessly at the way her breasts bounced and jiggled.

Heavy. They looked unbearably heavy and full with hands coming up to grab at her breasts with nipples poking between fingers. Back in his teenage years, his breasts never got very big. Not like that. But he could still remember that as much as he hated them there had been a pleasure to grabbing and holding onto them. A pleasure he'd hated but it had been there. Once they'd gone through with the surgery at twenty-two, he'd been freed of their weight. But it didn't stop him from loving on his women partners.

From fondling, squeezing and kissing at their breasts. From showering their chests with the appreciation they deserved. He could recall a one night stand that had been self-conscious about her smaller chest, but he hadn't seen any problem with it. After all, he may not like them on his but he loved playing with his lovers breasts when he had the chance. Watching their backs arch when he would caress, squeeze and kiss at them. Much like the woman on his screen who arched her back when hands kneaded at her breasts.

Fingers pinching together at her hardened nipples that peeked through them which earned a moan from the woman. Huffing, gasping breaths deafening on his screen when he felt the remote dropping with a clatter down against the floor tearing him out of his reverie only to find he'd been moving. A subtle, barely noticeable rock down against the corner of his bed when he let out a shaking breath at the light throbbing of his swelling clit. The ache between his twitching thighs when he glanced down.

Jumping at his subtle rocking against the bed. Not firm. Not enough. It was bending under his weight and it had him whining at how wet he felt. A mortifying thing when he found himself standing only to flinch at that slick sensation between his legs. His thighs pressed together to soothe that aching between them when he found himself taking a deep breath before stepping forward towards the TV. Swallowing again before licking his lips, he reached for the cable box he lifted up to grab at the small key.

Slipping it into the lock with a metallic click, he tugged the drawer open then as he stared down at his toys. What did he want tonight? He'd used that purple and aqua dildo last time, but did he want something to thrust into himself again? Or something else? His hands wavered with their light shake before he was reaching in for his favorite dildo. Sitting at eight inches, it had him squirming when he grabbed at his small bullet vibrator before shutting the drawer with a light thud. He turned on his feet to face the bed.

He tossed his toys further towards the middle of the bed when he hummed quietly. He grabbed the hem of his loose tank top and flipped it up then over his head carefully before throwing it to the floor. Reaching down for the sweatpants he wore, he flinched at that wetness soaking into his boxers. Wet, wet, wet. God, when had he gotten so wet? Just from a few minutes of an old show? He worked his pants and boxers down from his hips down his legs where they pooled to his ankles. Stepping out of them, he let out a breath.

Kicking them away, he climbed up onto his bed carefully to avoid knocking his toys off. The last thing he wanted was to sanitize them when they were already clean. He spun then to grab at the vibrator and the little remote when he settled himself in the middle of his bed where he let his thighs fall open. He placed the toys down next to him when he reached down curiously to touch his labia. Sliding his fingers along the damp skin when his gaze flicked up to the TV. Fuck, that was grade A acting that had him squirming.

Had him slightly envious judging by the moans spilling out of the actress and actor on the screen. Just barely audible through his speakers. He slid his fingers up and down along his labia with a firm press down as his clit swelled with that arousal; throbbing. Aching. His thighs twitched apart as he slid his fingers over damp skin; tracing the seam between lightly where he could feel that wetness just barely on the tips of his fingers. His breaths were shallowing with a tremble as he watched the couple on his screen.

The angle changing intermittently in slow fade away to allow him to gawk at the sight of the dark-haired man's cock sinking up into the woman. Changing from front to back to show off the slap of balls against her skin. The front view of hands holds, cupping, fondling breasts before they would move away allowing them to drop from their held position. Jiggling with her bounces in a mesmerizing manner when his own thighs twitched further apart. Spreading wide which caused his labia to spread ever so slightly.

He shuddered when he slid his fingers down his labia with a low hum to himself. Slow. Easy. He pressed his fingers teasingly above his swollen clit before sliding his fingers out down along his labia in a rub to get his hips squirming. Bending his right arm up to balance on his elbow he then lifted his hand up. He trailed his fingers over a hardening nipple; coaxing it to perk up. Fanning his hand out, he flicked his thumb over his nipple idly before squeezing at his chest with a stuttered breath flying out of him.

And he slid his fingers up to rub playfully on his labia. Right above that swollen clit causing him to jerk at the jolt it sent racing up his back. He then reached down to cup his crotch; squeezing at himself with the heel of his hand pressing against his swollen clit sending another jolt up his back. Biting at his lip, his gaze flicked up to catch a flash of jiggling breasts with hands coming up to cup. To fondle. It had him moaning at the sight of the actors cock slipping in and out slickly with squelches that barely made to his ears.

Fuck, he wanted it. He wanted so bad to have that chance to ride someone again until he had his fill. To fuck and be fucked by a man who would give him exactly what he wanted. Squeezing at his crotch again, he pinched at his nipple with a playful tug that had him groaning out when he let his head falling back. Cutting off the image of the woman riding that actor like he was the best fucking thing. h He hadn't watched porn in so fucking long but he'd forgotten how hot it got him. He didn't know what was getting him off more.

The man on man action he often found himself watching or this. He never had a problem with watching gay porn or "straight" porn because he could relate to the roles during the act itself. He knew how women squirmed, wailed and clawed at him when he was rubbing himself against them. When he was fucking them with his strap on so good it sent shivers down his back at the way they howled his name like a praise. And he knew how it felt to have someone fucking him so good he was screaming. Wailing.

Huffing for air with a cock spreading him open when he asked for it only to be fucked silly. Gay or straight, it didn't matter. He may be bisexual, but he had to admit he'd always been more male leaning in his interests. He groaned to himself when he pressed down firmly on his crotch before lifting his hand up to slide his fingers over his labia. His gaze focusing on the dark-haired man moving to pound into that woman with muscles flexing and trembling. The sight of his hips yanking backwards then flying forwards.

He'd always jokingly referred to 'being hungry for cock' but fuck him if staring at that TV screen didn't make him feel absolutely starved. Hungry for someone to give him something. What he'd give to be on the receiving end. What he would give to have a man above him right now with his cock buried in him to the hilt. To wail, twist, and moan like the actresses on his TV screen. What he'd fucking give to have someone inside of him. To have someone touch him. To fuck someone silly only to have it flipped around on him.

What would it be like to have someone fuck him like that? To have someone right now coax his legs open and fuck him to his hearts delight? It had him moaning out as he slid his fingers along his labia. Refusing to sink his fingers to the soaked wet folds; not yet, not yet, not yet. He was so fucking hot because of one fuzzy show? It was a bit embarrassing but fuck, it didn't matter, did it? If he got wet over this. He rubbed his fingers quicker with firm circles rolled at the top of his labia right above his swollen clit.

His legs shaking when he did so before his thighs spread apart further causing his labia to spread ever so slightly with his breaths coming shakily. Rubbing at the damp skin lightly, he tugged at his nipple awkwardly with a moan bursting out of him. A trembling sound ripping its way out of him when he rolled slow, firm circles above his clit again before he let himself fall onto his back. Properly cupping his chest when he brought his fingers to trail lightly over that center area where his labia parted slightly.

His hips arched up with a whimper when he then dipped his fingers into the wet folds of skin with a moan with feet pressing to the bed. Sliding his fingers through the wet folds down to the entrance of his vagina, he pressed the pads of his fingers again. Petting at himself in time with his shaking breaths before sliding his fingers up to fan out in a V formation on either side of his swollen clit. Rubbing gently in shallow slides with that slick, wet sound ringing out when he whimpered again with a twisting squirm.

And then he pressed his head to the bed. Whimpering to himself at the shallow, firm rubs on either side before sliding his fingers back down through wet folds. Stroking at them with a firm press down before sliding down to pet at the entrance of his vagina again slickly. God, he swore he'd never been wetter over watching porn for the first time in forever. His hair bounced annoyingly under his neck and back as he rubbed at himself with his thighs twitching with knees pointing out with that desire to spread wider.

As wide as he could without his hips protesting it when he slid his fingers up through the wet folds of skin slickly. His fingers were soaked when he slid his fingers up over his swollen clit with a jerk. A jolt of pleasure ripping up his back when he began to cautiously began to rub at it with his head pressing back to the bed. A shaking breath leaving him when he began to roll slow, firm circles over the throbbing cluster of nerves as his thighs trembled lightly. He wished he could laugh at Nemuri's wish for "some self-love".

That it could've been a weird euphemism for this. It had him grinning to himself briefly before he was moaning out when he flicked his nails under his piercing to flick it up with that light burn when he brought his fingers together. Pinching sharply at the hardened thing sent a shiver up his back with tingles pooling into his stomach. Squirming. Twisting. He couldn't stay still for the life of him with shaking breaths being taken when he tugged at his nipple. Pressing his fingers in a firmer press down against his throbbing clit.

His inner walls were spasming, throbbing as they clenched together with that shrieking insistence, he has something. He wanted to howl until he had someone coming to him. To let himself be stuffed full of something hot; something that would twitch and throb inside of him. To get it fucking good. He huffed with an arch of his hips when he slid his fingers away from his clit to slip down. Rubbing over soaked folds that seemed to be growing wetter by the damn second as he slid his fingers over the entrance of his vagina again.

He knew he had to get the lube, but he didn't want to move. Groaning as he rubbed at himself, he pulled his soaked fingers away from himself in favor of rolling onto his hands and knees. Crawling across his bed, picking his phone up along the way, and placing it on his bedside table when he tugged the drawer open. Hair slithered over his shoulders when he reached into the drawer to grab at the far too full tube of lube that had been sitting there for God knows how long. It was a downright shame it was so full.

Holding onto the lube he slid the drawer shut where he then crawled backwards to settle back in the middle of the bed. He grabbed at his small bullet vibrator; the metallic pink of it catching the light in brilliant flashes. He attached the small suction cup with the power dial as close to his labia as possible. He slipped the bullet between wet folds to press it directly to his clit. He didn't know if it would work with how wet he was, but he didn't mind it at all. Not one bit, he'd make it work if possible and he'd put the effort in.

Reaching out for that dildo, he drizzled lube over it before working to twist and slid his hand over the thick toy with his teeth dragging over his lip. Biting down fiercely on it sent a jolt of pain down his chin when he rolled his palm over the thick head of the toy with lube dripping down off the base in perfect circles onto his blanket. Fuck, he should've gotten a towel but that hadn't gone through his head. And now he felt it too late when he laid back with his legs spreading open and knees pointing outwards.

Reaching down to carefully spread his labia when he brought the toy down to press the head against his entrance. Nudging, nudging, nudging playfully at himself when he lifted his head to peek at the TV. A different couple was on the screen; a blonde man with the dark-haired woman now. Pounding away at her with a puffy appearance to her labia that had his toes curling tightly with a moan when he nudged his toy at himself again. He always loved that. When his labia felt puffy and his inner walls throbbing from multiple orgasms.

When he was squeezed dry only to have his partner work another orgasm out of him. He liked to see it on the few women lovers he'd had as well; when they begged him for more, more, more leading to him getting them off countless times until they looked puffy. Spent. It had him shuddering when he changed the pressure in the nudges against himself when he hissed in. And it flew out on a keening cry when that toy began to push into him in a slick slide. Full, full, full. He felt so fucking full with each inch he had sinking into him.

Could he take all eight inches tonight? It had his hips bucking desperately to get every fucking inch of this monster dildo into himself as his inner walls spasmed. Contracting in a throb before clamping down tightly around the toy with a keening moan ripping out of him. He swore he could feel it in his lower stomach. To be so fucking full had him threatening to drool when he let the last inch or two hang out of him. Doing so briefly in favor of reaching down for that suctioned up controller on his thigh.

And he then twisted the dial that had that metallic bullet bursting to life with vibrations over his clit that had him moaning in that reedy, needy pitch like the woman on his TV. Ohhh, it felt so fucking good against his throbbing clit when he reached down for the toy. Pulling it out slightly before thrusting it back into himself with a squelch as his head pressed back to the bed. A snapping moan ripping out of him when he pulled that toy back at a shallow depth. Moaning when he thrusted it back into himself slickly.

His inner walls clenched tightly around the thick toy when he felt that light burn of his spread hole around it. He fucking loves it; oh, God, he loves, loves, loves it. It had him groaning out when he began to pull and thrust his toy into himself cheerfully while that bullet vibrated deliciously against his clit. It had his hips twitching with a shake while he thrusted his toy giddily into himself with thighs spreading wide, wide, wide. And he couldn't help giddily thrusting that toy into himself while his toes curled.

Pressing his feet pressed to the bed. His phone pinged next to him yet he didn't reach for it; he didn't even want to think of talking to another person right now. Not when he was fucking himself with a thick dildo that had his lashes fluttering with the threat of his eyes rolling back. The fullness felt heavy with hips squirming as that bullet buzzed cheerfully against him. His free hand swept up his stomach to his chest coaxing his back to arch from it. Whimpering when he plucked at his nipple in time with the other.

Mimicking his thrusts down between his legs. The wet, slick squelches so much louder than the lewd sounds on his TV but he didn't mind it one bit. His room was soundproofed like every other room in the house. His kids in bed. What was to stop him from enjoying himself? From giving himself the pounding he'd been wanting so desperately as of late? He changed the speed of his thrusts with that toy into something urgent; something quick. Keeping it shallow yet changing the speed to allow that urgency to shine through.

The slick squelches rang out deafeningly when he rolled his thumb over his nipple before pushing down on it to rub firmly at it. God, that rub against his inner walls had him huffing with a groan snapping out of him. Rubbing so fucking good it left him hungry for another thrust of that toy. Fuck, fuck, it wasn't the dildo Nemuri gave him but it felt so fucking good he felt ready to crawl out of his skin. Thrusting that thick dildo into himself, he moaned with a squirm against his sheets with thighs shaking.

Jerking indecisively on whether to spread themselves further or to snap shut. He didn't know which he wanted but it had him groaning at the thought of shutting his thighs. What the change would doo for that vibrator buzzing cheerfully, maddeningly, against his swollen clit. He swore he could drool. His lashes fluttered as he stared up at his ceiling with his back arching from the bed with a moan ripping out of him. His forearm flexing against his pelvis as he thrusted the toy into himself with that slick squelching ringing out.

Pinching sharply at his nipple with a ruthless tug had him crying out with a jolt as he kept his thrusts shallow. Easy. To keep himself from becoming too overwhelmed with his breaths catching in his throat when he clenched around the toy only to groan throatily. A snapping sound at how fucking thick the silicone dildo was. It was so good, so good, so good. He could catch the faint moans on his TV that had him thrusting his toy with teeth biting at his lip fervently to keep himself to a moderate volume.

Even if there was no chance of being overheard. No chance of someone finding him out. God, he knew it didn't matter but the sound of his own moans bursting out of him over the TV had a shiver racing down his back. Fuck, he was hot, hot, hot. All over an old porn show. Dragging his teeth over his bottom lip, he huffed out with his hair rubbing over the blanket when he pressed his head back with his fingers releasing his nipple. Coming up to slide over his chest towards his throat, he lightly slid his fingers over to cup his throat.

The fingertip of his index finger resting on his jaw. His chest heaving with his shaking pants as he thrusted the toy into him shallowly. He'd never been one for choking but he'd had it done to him once and he couldn't deny it'd been hot. To have that big, strong hand holding his throat so tightly while his lover had questioned him if he was getting enough air. If he was okay. God, it was a night he hadn't thought about in so long. It had him squeezing lightly at his throat with a huff leaving him when he thrusted his toy shallowly.

Listening to the squelch of the silicone rubbing with the lube and his natural wetness. His hips raised from the bed but he could feel that wetness dripping down to his ass where it no doubt dripped off. Fuck, had he been this wet in the bathtub and he just didn't realize it? He wondered what it'd be like to have a rough hand on his throat squeezing every wisp of air out of him that hips didn't pound out of him. He'd done his fair share of choking his partners but there was something so good about choking sometimes.

In having a rough hand holding his throat while he was being pounded viciously. Like Shouta's. It had only been his finger tips but they'd felt rough, dry, and it had left him electrified. What would it feel like to have dry, rough hands sliding over his skin? Big hands to hold him in a lap with no chance of breaking free as he rode their cock? To have soft, gentle hands teasing his erogenous zones while he fucked someone soft, supple, beneath him? He didn't know exactly who or what he wanted more.

A man or a woman but it was fucking amazing either way. Each scenario having their pluses that had him clenching around the toy with a moan bursting out of him. Fingers squeezing at his throat slightly with burst of strength that had him wheezing out when he jerked his hips as if to get away. To dislodge that vibrator buzzing against it. Fuck him, it almost felt like too much. He bucked desperately with huffing pants as he eased the dildo back further before thrusting it in with a deafening squelch.

Fuck.

It had him moaning as he pressed his head to the bed again with a gasp as he used that new pull back before thrusting it into him. A barely there hit to his cervix had him writhing with a shout at the tingling pleasure it gave him. He never thought of his cervix of a point of pleasure but the few times he'd hit at it? God, it had his back arching from the bed with a gasp as he thrusted that toy quickly into him. Faster. Pulling back at the new pullback before thrusting it back in giddily when his phone buzzed again next to him.

The vibrator against his clit buzzed away at him when he gasped in a breath when he felt the faint stirrings of an orgasm fluttering through him. Not yet. He couldn't. He reached down with shaking fingers to turn the vibrator off. Just a few more minutes and he'd turn it back on. Ohhh, it had his clit throbbing at the lack of stimulation as that slick vibrator stilled. It had his hips bucking for an entirely different reason when he cried out with delight. Thrusting his toy into himself with that same delight.

Fuck, he could spend all fucking night with this damn monster of a dildo inside of him. Fuck himself on it until he was sick of it. Slap it up against the wall if he had too and watch that video. If he really wanted too he could use his wipes to slick up the end and suck it to his bedframe and face the TV. Fuck, could there be another episode? Another channel with this? Porn, after all, was free. If there would be no more episodes on the TV he could effortlessly get a video up on his phone and laptop if he wanted to get off again.

The thought of it had his thighs shaking with that rush of excitement. Moaning out as he thrusted that toy into himself again, again, again with that slick squelching ringing out he tightened around his dildo. Panting raggedly when he slid his hand away to sweep back down to his chest where he tugged at the ball of his nipple stud. Tugging, tugging, tugging until he got that light burn to have him squirming. Writhing. His hips canted up with his feet pushing into the bed fervently when his thighs shook.

His stomach pulling with that pleasure when he thrusted his hips down to meet the dildo. To match the speed and strength of that sliding toy as he tugged at his piercing again before flicking it up. A sharp burn resulting from the stretch when he brought his fingers together to pinch sharply at his nipple tearing a cry out of himself. That dildo being thrusted in sharp, snapping thrusts when he began to lengthen that draw back. Tugging it out further before thrusting it back into himself with again that faint nudge at his cervix.

It had him jolting with a whimper at the pleasure it sent up his back but there was an undernote of discomfort that had him doing his best to avoid from hitting at it too much. He thrusted that dildo into himself, listening to the rustling of the blanket beneath him. The squelches of the wet mess between his legs and the silicone of the toy. The rasping, heaving pants being taken by himself as he thrusted his toy into himself. The quieter sounds on the TV of skin slapping together with quiet, masculine grunts.

The airy gasps of the unseen woman. God, it was getting him off like nothing else and his eyes weren't even on the screen. He was only listening but fuck if it didn't get him hot. If he wasn't writhing just recalling the scenes he did watch before grabbing his toys. His clit throbbed against the vibrator when he bit at his lip. Thrusting his toy fast, fast, fast into himself with his panting breaths hitching. Damn near slamming it into himself when he found himself squirming with his toes curling tightly.

He squeezed at his chest before sliding his fingers down to rub at his mastectomy scar. At the skin surrounding it with a snapping, keening moan. Ohhhh, what he'd give to have something hot inside of him. To have a cock buried in him to the hilt that throbbed and twitched within him. Throbbed. To leave him hot. He bit at his lip fervently when he squirmed at the rub when he clenched tightly around the dildo he held in his shaking hand. Slamming thrusts that had his legs shaking tore moans out of him.

He then shifted to brace himself up on his elbow in a half lean when he forced his gaze open where he looked instinctively down. Groaning at the sight of the dildo and his thrusting hand. Sinking into himself again, again, again slickly with squelches to get his face burning hotly. He was fucking starving for something. Anything. He didn't care if he had a relationship or it was purely to fuck someone but he wanted it. Wanted to have someone desire him like that. Lust after him like that. That he was seen that way.

He wanted someone to touch him and make him feel sexy. Desirable. He continued with those snapping thrusts of his toy when his lashes trembled with the effort of staying up when his mouth dropped open. His brows squeezing tightly together when he lifted his hand up to squeeze at his chest awkwardly again. And he focused on the TV before him with a low moan leaving him on a trembling burst of volume. What a fucking jackpot he found tonight with a free erotica show to get his fucking engines going.

Really going tonight. He watched the screen where a new woman, a red head, bounced herself on that same dark-haired actor. Watching the slick shine to the dark-haired man's cock as it sank into her with her bouncing. Her breasts were smaller than that first dark-haired woman's but he didn't mind it at all. In fact, he was mesmerized to the sight of them again. Watching giddily at the way they jiggled and bounced when he watched big hands slid over her ass and up her sides with the dark-haired man moaning.

A guttural sound that had him whimpering as he tried to match the speed he saw on the screen. Groaning at just how fast it was as he slammed the dildo into himself while he watched those big hands traveling over pale skin. Shouta had big hands. That much he recalled along with the dry roughness to the tips of his fingers. Like he worked with his hands a lot when it might just be a lack of lotion. God, what would he do if he had that chance with Shouta? Would the man even want him? Would it ever be possible?

Would he even need him like that at some point? What kind of lover would Shouta be? A rough, fast in and out type or a tender, loving type? Why was he thinking about Shouta at all? Was it- He gasped with a jolt before crying out when he managed to angle the dildo just enough to hit at his G-spot. A clumsy hit but God if it didn't have his hips canting up with desperate, rutting thrusts against the toy. Tugging it back thrusting it back into himself. Frantic thrusts as he tried to repeat that angle slightly.

Sucking in a sharp breath when his thighs trembled. His stomach pooling with pleasure when he managed to get another clumsy hit to his G-spot that had him moaning. Shuddering at the resulting surge that had him clenching tightly around the dildo. A wet drop trailing down his chin at the pleasure pooling into his stomach like an ache. Drooling shamelessly when he tried to angle his dildo again but he knew it was a miracle he hit it at all twice now but fuck if it didn't have him thrusting his toy into himself faster.

Leaning into his elbow when he plucked at his nipple with dark purple nails flicking at the metal of his piercing. Jerking his hips to meet the slamming speed he set for himself when he knew he should be working slowly. Work up to it but God if this damn show with it's shitty fuzzy quality and fading angle changes didn't get him hot. He couldn't deny that masturbating had been an idea for tonight but he'd planned for it to be before his bath. During it even if he lacked that little control but fuck if he wasn't happy to do it now.

To give himself a brutal pounding that would leave him shaking. Wobbly legged. He huffed as his hair trembled and bounced awkwardly against his back; clinging to the thin sheen of sweat forming over his skin. Sweat that covered his forehead in a clammy sheen with a droplet streaking down the side of his face. His glasses threatening to slip off his nose if he wasn't careful as he slammed his dildo into himself. Clenching around it only to moan at the stretch. Oh, God, that stretch was fucking everything.

He loves it. Loves, loves, loves this fucking toy of his. Loves fucking himself with this dildo of his. Sharp, snapping thrusts had him moaning shamelessly as he groped at his chest. Tugging at his nipple when he found his lashes fluttering down onto his cheeks when he felt that same fluttering sensation of an orgasm threatening to take form. His clit throbbed fervently with that silent insistence for something. That he could come fast now then get off again with that new rose toy Nemuri had bought him with that dildo he used last time.

It had a shiver running down his back at the thought as he slammed the dildo into himself before pausing. Clenching tightly around the still length inside of him that just barely nudged at his cervix with how deeply he left it inside of himself. Reaching down with dripping fingers, he twisted the dial and his vibrator was bursting to life again. Moaning deafeningly at the heat it sent fanning under his skin when he reached down with a light push. Keeping it nudged into place against his clit before reaching down

grab at the base of his toy and he began thrusting again. Hair clinging to the thin sheen of sweat gathering on his skin as he slammed that toy into him giddily. Eagerly. Tugging at his nipple again, he couldn't help but wish that he had more hands. More hands over his hot body that was burning up just to touch him. To have hands pushing his thighs open. To hold him still while he pounded at himself until he was howling to please, please move. He slammed that dildo into himself giddily

with slick squelches punctuating each pull back and snap forward that was growing longer. Harder. His fingers struck at him with each snapping thrust when he moaned out letting his head fall back. Oh, fuck him, how long could he hold out? Not very long. Not very long at all when he had that vibrator buzzing cheerfully against his throbbing clit. Each thrust bringing him closer, closer, closer with that stirring flutter in his lower stomach knotting itself there. The beginning stirrings of an orgasm that had him whimpering.

A knot twisting into his lower stomach to which he eagerly pounded himself with the toy faster. Faster, faster, faster. Harder. Panting raggedly, he listened to the tempo of his breathing changing with that excitement welling in his chest. Ohhhh, he didn't think he was that close before but he was. With those vibrations against his clit rocking up his pelvis had him moaning louder. Enthusiastically. A sound that filled the damn corners of his bedroom as he pounded that dildo into himself with a gasp.

His inner walls spasming and clenching fervently around it. Throbbing. He couldn't breathe without feeling that throbbing as he pounded the toy into himself. Listening to the faint grunts and moans of his TV. He'd give anything to be fucked good by a partner right now. To have someone who would be fine with anal. Someone who would fuck him like he deserved to be. Like he fucking wanted. It had his head falling back with lashes fluttering down onto his hot cheeks as his glasses slipped down his nose.

Hitting against the arches of his eyebrows and cheekbones as they slipped back into place. His head was spinning weakly as that heat twisted and raked beneath his skin leaving him flushed. Hot. Hot, hot, hot he was so fucking hot! And he could feel his pelvis muscles tightening with that vibrator buzzing cheerfully against his frantically throbbing clit. He twisted, squirmed, with feet pressing to the mattress like he could run away from that vibration rocking over him. Vibrations that had him squirming desperately.

Had him clenching tightly around the dildo. Like he could cant his hips up to show the man on the screen his own dripping pussy to get what he wanted. He huffed as his thighs fell open as they shook with his pants hitching into puffing huffs of air being taken. His hips jiggling in between their jerks down to meet the toy he slammed into himself shamelessly with the hand on his chest squeezing at it. Fingers rubbing weakly against his mastectomy scar idly with fingers curling to hold onto himself more than actively rubbing.

Moans, groans, whines. They spilled out of him shamelessly when he arched his hips up higher with a howl as he pounded the toy into himself with shaking fingers. That vibrator would be the death of him, he swore it. Fuck, when was the last time he'd even used a vibrator inside of himself? Was it his last relationship? When he'd been coaxed to wear two different vibrators in his ass and inside of his vagina for his ex. Ohhh, now that was an amazing fucking idea that he could do on his own if he so desired.

He could always do that on his own if he so desired but the idea of using three? OH, it had him drooling shamelessly as he pounded that toy into himself fast, fast, fast. As if he could out chase the orgasm he could feel mounting in his lower stomach. Charging towards with each slamming thrust of the dildo. Each buzz of that bullet against his throbbing clit that felt so fucking swollen. Felt like too much. It had him moaning out when he clenched tightly around the toy again causing those squelches to come deafeningly.

Fuck, he wanted to come. He wants to come now and work on properly teasing then working up to that arousal again. This had taken him by surprise, but could anyone blame him for feeling a bit worked up? He hadn't had the time to think about masturbating since the last time two weeks ago now in the bath. He wanted to take advantage of tonight, but he didn't want to fuck his schedule up. He just wanted to take the time while he had it to feel himself. To touch himself until he was howling and twisting like he was now.

His lashes fluttered on his cheeks as his hair swayed against his back with the force of his thrusts rocking him lightly. Swaying against his back due to his awkward lean onto his elbow. That vibrator had vibrations racing through his lower half he swore it. God, it was burning him up. Eating him alive. He couldn't get enough as he pounded himself with the dildo with gasps falling from his lips. Brows squeezing together tightly when he felt a bead of sweat running down his forehead in quick, small beads.

Running down along his temple to soak into his hair. Moaning at the pleasure it sent pooling into his stomach like an ever-growing pressure. Clenching tightly around the dildo sliding so slickly with that drool worthy rub against his inner walls. What would it feel like to have someone throbbing inside of him? To have sweat slick skin rubbing against his own? To have someone huffing, panting, grunting above him like the man on screen. Fuck him, he was a slick mess. Oh, oh, it had him moaning at the feeling of it.

He could feel the lube, his natural wetness, dripping down his ass to drip onto the bed. It seemed it didn't matter tonight, and it was purely inevitably that he'd have to change his comforters. Stuff them in the wash. There's no way he could leave his sons on the bed after this. He'd have to strip the bed off when he was done. If he'd be done after this. He moaned at the thought of coming again, again, again tonight until his labia was puffy. Until he was so wet he squelched when he inevitably waddled to the bathroom.

Until he felt tender with whimpers flying out of him when he wiped over his sensitive clit. His vibrator buzzing against it made it feeling harder than anything with the blood flow. Moaning in that high, needy pitch with his thighs spreading apart with that slick squelch ringing out deafeningly. He giddily yanked back then thrusted his toy into himself with a delight that had him huffing. Gasping. Oh, oh, oh he was fucking burning. He moaned delightedly at the thought of getting over this hump already.

To get over it so he could fuck himself into another orgasm. He could feel drool dripping down his chin as his mouth hung open with huffing pants being taken. He was huffing uneven pants when he jerked his hips down to meet the pounding rhythm of his thrusts. He couldn't get enough. Not of this thick fucking dildo in him or the way he was dripping down his ass. The slick squelches of the lube and wetness with the silicone of the dildo. Slamming his dildo into himself with that vibrator buzzing cheerfully against his clit.

Fuck him, this was so good. There was something so thrilling about watching the way the man on his screen thrusting into those women. Watching his cock sink into their pussy had been unbelievably hot. He'd give anything to have that same treatment whether it came from a man or a strap on a woman used. He wanted nothing more than to have someone actively fucking into him. He'd forgotten how much work it was to thrust the toy into him. How much effort he had to put into thrusting something into himself.

His arm was cramping up lightly but God if he didn't want to get over that hurdle. If he didn't feel himself tightening and clenching around that thick dildo with its rub against his inner walls. It was so fucking drool worthy. He could only imagine what it would feel like to have a throbbing, twitching cock inside of him. How much better it would feel. He pounded that toy into himself giddily with that wetness dripping down his ass to the bed when he jerked his hips giddily to meet his thrusts. So close, so close, so close.

He could feel himself getting closer, closer, closer with that vibrator buzzing cheerfully against his hard clit. Engorged with that blood flow. Oh, oh, it had him twisting and squirming eagerly with his hips canting up. As if someone, somewhere, would come and fuck him. A shameless display that had him clutching at the end of his dildo tightly with slick squelches ringing out with a keening moan flying out of him. His own huffing breaths. The quiet moans and cries spilling from his TV speakers softly.

And he tried to change the angle of his thrusts when he clumsily hit his G-Spot with a cry. Shouting out as he kept up that angle that, somehow and someway, managed to hit at his G-spot. God, if it didn't have him moaning deafeningly with muscles jumping and jerking. That pleasure pooling into his stomach in a never ending pressure had to come to an end eventually and he was charging towards it. Jerking his hips back and forth to pull back and match the slams of the dildo the best that he possibly.

Shivering when the pull back lengthened for long thrusts. Hits to his G-spot that had him drooling with a moan ripping out of his tight throat. Chasing that orgasm down with that vibrator aiding in his clawing upwards of that mountain. His orgasm building strength as he felt that spark twisting into his lower stomach with huffing pants being taken. Jerking, jolting, twisting. Crying out, wailing, hiccupping out choked sounds that left him feeling that prick of embarrassment to hear himself in such a state.

He moaned delightedly with that orgasm mounting in his stomach like a hot spark he chased after desperately. He was so close, so close, so close. Soooo fucking close! It had him whimpering in that needy pitch with hips jerking to meet that pounding dildo. His phone pinged next to him, but he happily ignored it for the moment with his hips jerking as he slammed that dildo into himself. Trying to mimic the pounding rhythm a lover would give him. It was all too much. It was all fucking perfect. Nothing could be better.

His hips jerked as if to knock the vibrator off of his pulsing clit when he found his arm slipping out from underneath him when he moaned desperately to himself with that slick squelching ringing out when he clenched up tightly and he just couldn't fight it. Not when he was fucking himself on that dildo the same way that woman on his screen did on the dark-haired man's cock. Jerking himself down as he slammed himself to meet that pounding rhythm when he hit at his G-spot again rather clumsily.

Then again and again with gasps spilling out of him when he felt his thighs tensing up on him. Muscles flexing tightly leaving them to shake lightly as his hips jumped desperately with thrusts into the air. Jerking down to meet that pounding speed of his hand jerking that dildo into himself. He could spend all night fucking himself on this dildo. He could fuck himself for hours on it. Use that new rose toy that Nemuri had bought him that had that licking attachment. He could pull open his laptop if he needed too.

If he still needed porn to get off tonight, but he didn't think he did. Didn't think he did but it didn't change the fact that this was still fucking exciting. To watch another fucking like they were desperate for one another? To watch someone's cock disappearing into another woman who squirmed and writhed like himself? It was fucking hot. He pounded that toy into himself with deafening squelches ringing out with huffing breaths filling the silence. The bed wobbled lightly under him as he rocked himself.

Pushing off of the bed with his feet with a moan ripping out of him. What he'd give to have a lover who fucked him like that. How amazing would it be to have a man's cock in him? Filling him up like that? Or to fondle a woman's soft breasts that always felt heavy in his hands no matter the size. He fucking loves to do it. It had him shuddering at the thought of what that first woman's breasts would feel like in his hands. What the red-head's breasts would feel like. He was never picky when it came to the size of his partners chests in the past.

There was no need to be picky when he knew it wasn't their choice how big their breasts grew. Whimpering out with that note of longing making all too abundantly clear to himself as he slammed the dildo into himself faster, faster, faster. Pounding at himself ruthlessly with his hips jerking wildly. Mimicking that pull back only to fly forward to hit against his hand in a firm impact. He moaned out desperately with his nails biting into the silicone base of the dildo to keep it from slipping out of his grasp.

It had him squirming as he hunted down that orgasm that he was clawing himself up that mountain towards. Hitting at his G-spot in clumsy thrusts that had him moaning delightedly. Just a little more. He swore it would only take a little more. It was teetering with how fucking close he was. He was so goddamn close he could taste it. Maybe Nemuri really was telling him the truth the last time they talked about dating. That he was a man with needs, and he was ignoring those needs. Turning a blind eye to them.

After all, here he was on a Thursday night fucking himself on a dildo while watching a porno of all things. He needed to change something about that soon, but he could happily lose his nights with a porno. To fuck himself on this dildo to take care of the needs he was ignoring. He was a man, after all, just like Oboro and Tensei. There was no reason to deprive himself. There was no point in denying himself the basic desires of an orgasm or to feel something inside of him, was there? It'd only be agony to do so.

Would it be so bad that he wanted to be so stuffed full? So much so that he'd happily get one of his dual vibrators to fuck his ass as well if he really wanted to be full. It had him moaning at the thought with his clit throbbing fiercely beneath that fucking bullet. Squirming and twisting desperately, he changed the fast rhythm of his slamming hits to focus solely on pounding. Pounding into him with faint nudges to his cervix. It brought that uncomfortable pleasure but he could think around it rather than have it ruin this.

Ignore it when his stomach began flexing intermittently much like his own trembling thighs. His inner walls clenched tightly around his dildo with gasping pants being taken by himself. By the man and woman on his TV. He'd meant it earlier but what if he couldn't find anyone? Not everyone like transgender men and what if that meant he couldn't find anyone to love him like this? He was bigger than in the past from what he had noticed. His lower half growing to accustom itself finally to the testosterone.

His clit still looked like a clit. The anatomy the same but it was bigger now. Far more noticeable. He wouldn't be surprised if he had a budding T-cock in the next few years when he debated bottom surgery. What if until that point it put off men and women? It had him whimpering as he tried to chase away those self-deprecating thoughts to focus instead on the pleasure bubbling through him. On the heat of it threatening to eat him up. Fuck, it was twisting like an overwhelming pressure in his lower stomach.

One that had his legs shaking as they spread open widely. Huffing in his shaking, racing pants with a jerk of his hips down with that orgasm twisting into his stomach but fuck him if it didn't have him moaning. Wanting, wanting, wanting to come. To come right fucking now before he had to live with that buzzing on his clit a second more. He huffed out desperately with twisting squirms before jolting with hips jumping to meet that draw back. Swinging forward where they then slammed against his hand again.

The damn toy nearly threatening to slip out of him but he powered on. Pounding himself to an orgasm was all he wanted. He felt half out of his mind with that desire to get himself over the race line. It was still early in the night and God knows he could do whatever he wanted tonight if he so desired. He'd had to remember to air out his bedroom but God that was a small thing. He huffed when he found himself moving then. Rolling onto his stomach with his arm pinned to his chest and stomach when he raised his hips upwards.

Pounding that toy into himself at that new angle was more of a challenge but ohhh fuck if it wasn't worth it. If it didn't have him huffing and gasping to pound that toy into himself at that new angle that had it nudging faintly at his g-spot. If it didn't have him moaning as he arched his hips up high, high, high. As if to show off himself to the moaning couple on the screen as he muffled his own moaning into the blanket. The fingers of his free hand twisting into the blanket as that metallic vibrator buzzed over his clit.

He could pound himself silly until he was howling into his bed. And he planned to do just fucking that. He moaned deafeningly into the bed as he pounded that toy up into him with his orgasm twisting into him sharply when his thighs began to tremble with their intermittent clench. Tightening up with his stiffening body as his inner walls throbbed around that dildo with his breaths gasping in when he was howling into the blanket as he pounded himself forward to that orgasm. It was right there, right there!

It was right fucking there and he-! Ohhh, he. Was. Fucking. Done. Ohhh, he was done, done, done! His breaths came in gasping hitches. His stomach flexing in that all too familiar way with his inner walls clamping down tightly around the toy. And he just couldn't. He couldn't fight it, choke it down or ignore it. Not anymore. He wanted to go so much longer but he couldn't because that vibrator was buzzing cheerfully against his clit. His hips jerked down with a cry flying out of him with such deafening volume.

That cry flying out of him crested into a howl when that hot rush of tingles racing up his thighs where that orgasm exploded into his stomach. Inner walls spasming around the dildo he shoved in himself deep. Clenching frantically around it with the waves of that white-hot heat rushing over him in choking waves. Hot, hot, hot. Choking, choking, choking. He shook under the force of that orgasm rushing over him while his vibrator vibrated wildly when his knees slid over the bed with the blanket rustling beneath him.

His thighs flying together where they then clamped tightly against one another. A slap of his skin meeting where he fell onto his back with hips jerking up desperately with those throbs leaving him a moaning mess. It was so good, so good, so good. He was drowning under the white-hot heat. Ohhhhh, God, it fucking felt good. Spasming, twisting, squirming. Throbbing, throbbing, throbbing with that wetness dripping down his ass. His thighs shaking as thy kept his hips arched up with a low groan ripping out of him.

As if somehow, someway, that man on the screen would step through it to fuck him silly. He was a fucking mess. A mess of lube and his own wetness that left him slick. Sweat ran down his temples with hair sticking to his skin, his face, annoyingly with another groan slipping out of him. He was shaking. Hot, hot, hot. That white-hot heat throbbed through him that clawed under his skin. Tearing him apart as he found himself drowning under the white-hot waves slamming over him with the intent on burning him up.

Choking him when he tried to gasp in a breath only for it to fly out of him in the next moment. He was suspended in that white-hot state where nothing mattered but the spasming of his inner walls. The throbs of his vagina. The pounding of his heart spreading that white-hot heat through his veins that boiled his blood. The croaked sound leaving him with that orgasm stretching on for minutes. Hours. Days. An eternity. He was drowning, choking, burning, thriving under that orgasm rushing through him relentlessly.

His hips jerked as if to knock the vibrator away from his clit. Whimpering pleadingly when that orgasm began to drown out of him. Raking its claws on its slow, ebbing retreat as he gasped wildly with that orgasm flying out of him as suddenly as it had crashed over him. He was shaking in the absence of that heat where he slipped the dildo out of him with a slick squelch that had his inner walls clamping together. Throbbing when he let his lower half fall into the wet patch that had been steadily formed with the drips.

It was cool but he could happily ignore it when he reached down to claw to get that vibrator off of his clit with a whimper. Turning it off before tossing it onto the bed next to him where he breathed. His vagina, his clit, throbbing in damn near tandem together to drive him insane when raised his hands up. Shaking as he dragged them over his slick face before turning his head lazily towards his pinging phone. Was it Shouta? Or one of his siblings? Could it possibly be Nemuri blowing his phone up after her own romp?

It was late but he found himself grunting as he forced his way legs to push him over the blanket to grab his phone. There were a few from Nemuri and one from Shouta asking if he was still awake. As much as he wanted to talk to Shouta or Nemuri, his thighs were rubbing together with his gaze being drawn to the TV. Another show playing held the same dreamy, fuzzy quality of the previous one. He sat up shakily and slid across the bed to drift his legs over the side where he reached for his glass of water.

Lifting it up, he gulped at the icy water with a sharp inhale through his nose, but he gulped it down. Chugging at it before setting it down again when he reached into his bedside table drawer. Grabbing the wipes where he then turned to crawl back onto his bed. Pushing his pillows out of the way, he wiped down his headboard before grabbing at the slick, dripping dildo. And sticking it onto the headboard, he tugged his comforter up to keep it from dripping on the fitted sheet. To keep the mess to one blanket.

Letting out a shuddering breath when he spread his legs then arched his hips back. He couldn't help a low moan when he pushed back with his hand diving between his thighs to grab at the dildo. Coaxing it to press against his entrance where it slipped in slowly this time. And he rocked his hips backwards when his ass hit the headboard. He could text them back in the morning. In the morning when his night of "self-love" was over. When he could answer Shouta without those pesky butterflies attacking his stomach.

He wanted this night to himself, and he would happily text his friends in the morning when he was done here. He had years to make up for and he was starting tonight. He deserved some love, didn't he? He bit at his grinning lip as he rocked his hips back with his hands twisted into the blankets with his glasses slipping down his nose slightly. His gaze locked onto the TV as he listened to that deep feminine voice speaking in a murmur as his inner walls spasmed before clenching around the toy tightly.

Shuddering at that pleasure, he reached down with his free hand to rub at his spread labia lightly. Reaching down where he was spread around the toy with his teeth dragging over his lip with a shaking sigh. He'd text them all back in the morning. He'd strip his bed and clear it of the soaked blankets. The wet patch that he could see glistening on the bed from where he'd been seconds prior. He would be an adult and wash his blankets and see to the responses first thing when the sun rose. But until then?

Tonight was his.