A/N: Maybe there are still some of you out there who wouldn't mind seeing how this story ends. I won't even begin to apologize, because there's no point. But I'm here now to give this story a proper ending, if it's even possible after all this time. Beside this one, it's going to have 4 more chapters and an epilogue. I've reread the story twice in the last weeks to make sure it all makes sense and I'm almost done writing it, so stay tuned for the remaining chapters in the coming weeks.
Chapter Twenty-Nine
The silent walk through the familiar paths always gave her time to think, to remember. She had walked these paths so many times in her life, each time with a heavy heart. Sometimes heavier than usual.
There wasn't always a reason for her visits. Sometimes she was just in the neighborhood and spontaneously decided to come by. Other times there were special occasions when she felt obligated to, but it never was a burden. She owed them so much, her life to begin with, her upbringing, that she became a lawyer, the woman she was. So now that her life was at a crossroad again, it was only natural that she showed up.
The cemetery was rather silent and when she stopped at her destination and looked around she didn't see anyone else nearby. After fetching some water she placed the bouquet of flowers in the vase then she eyed the tombstone of her parents for a while, the gold letters and numbers staring back at her, and she counted the number of years that had gone by since their passing.
So much happened since her dad was resting there too. Many milestones in her and his grandson's life that he wasn't able to witness anymore. Maybe if he hadn't passed away so many years ago, she and Liam wouldn't be so distanced from each other now. Liam had always been more cheerful when they had been with her dad, compared to when there had been just the two of them. His death had been just as hard on him as the divorce of his parents.
The thoughts of her son brought tears to her eyes. Their last conversation was still hurting her way too much. She didn't know what to do. That's why she was there, to maybe find the answers she was so desperately looking for. If anyone could help her with that it was these two people.
She tried to dry her tears, but they wouldn't stop. So she just let the tension break through her walls.
o-o-o
She was taking care of the dishes in her dad's kitchen, keeping an eye on Liam and his grandfather through the window who were playing outside. She knew that Liam loved coming here, was happier here than at their home, so they visited her dad quite often. Of course he wasn't getting any younger, but that didn't stop him from playing by his grandson's rules, until his body naturally reminded him that he needed to rest. Diane observed how he sat down in a chair, giving in to his body's demand.
Whenever she saw him like that, it served as a reminder that he wouldn't be around forever, and they needed to make the most of the time they spent together. She put the last plates in the dishwasher and joined them outside.
"Mom, can I climb that tree?" Liam pointed at one of the eldest trees in the garden and she immediately felt a lump in her throat. She sent a questioning look towards her father who nodded in agreement.
"Only if you promise not to climb too high." She gave in and took a seat next to her father, while her eyes followed the boy as he began to climb.
"Be careful, pumpkin." The man warned his grandson then he cast a smile towards his daughter, who returned it.
It took Liam a few attempts, but he didn't give up and soon he was resting on the first wide branch slightly above ground, holding on to another branch as a support, just like he had learnt from his dad.
"Does he do this often?" Diane turned to her father.
"He likes the view," he explained, eyeing his grandson with pride. "You were unusually quiet today, darling, is something bothering you?" He changed the subject quickly, now that Liam was out of earshot from them.
"We are signing the divorce papers next week," she admitted after a short silence and saying the words out loud to him just hurt even more than the thought itself.
"I'm sorry." Her dad found her hand and squeezed it gently. She knew it meant so much more than a sorry, it meant that he was there for her, that she could count on him and she was grateful.
"I can only blame myself," she confessed, trying to appear strong, since her son was able to see her from the distance. "Liam wants to stay with his dad, but I just can't let him. I need him." She was aware how selfish that sounded, but she couldn't help it. She had every right to her son and she wanted to believe that the boy needed her as well, at least a little.
"He needs you too." He squeezed her hand again, giving her the answer she wanted to hear.
"Mom, can you help me?" Liam called and they both let out a chuckle.
"I'm right here, honey," she responded without a thought, then walked to her son and helped him off the tree, hugging him just a little bit longer than necessary.
o-o-o
She was getting into her car when she got the call, so from the cemetery she drove straight to the hospital. Inside the building she rushed to the elevator, pressing number 3 on the panel, taking deep breaths, trying to calm herself. The last thing she needed to show was that she was nervous. The nurse pointed her in the direction of room 309, and once she got to the door she took a last deep breath before she knocked.
"Come in." Eryn's voice sounded a lot calmer than on the phone and they even shared a smile as she entered the door.
"Are you sure everything's okay? Should I talk to the doctor?" Diane offered after she'd heard the story in more detail.
Eryn had fainted and an ambulance brought her here. She got examined by a doctor, but the baby was perfectly all right. She was suggested to rest more and eat more regularly, which was a challenge Diane was all too familiar with.
"There's no need for that, they just insisted I call someone to take me home," Eryn reassured her. "Thank you for coming," she added with a grateful smile.
"I'm happy to help," Diane confessed and under the circumstances it was truer than ever. She wasn't just saying she wanted to be there for her son, Eryn and the baby, she thought of it like a mission of sorts. She was desperate to prove to her son that he could actually count on her and appreciated this opportunity.
"I know you and Liam have had your ups and downs, but I also know that he loves you more than he'd ever let it show," Eryn mentioned as if she had read her mind.
"I know." She smiled. "But please don't worry about us too, you have enough on your plate with my grandchild," she reminded her lovingly. Saying the magic word was like a cure for all the sorrow that had been eating her ever since her talk with Liam yesterday.
"She is all right," Eryn touched her belly with a loving smile that only a mother can have.
"It's going to be a girl?" Diane gasped.
"We don't know yet, but I have a feeling," Eryn admitted and Diane knew exactly what she was talking about.
"I did too," she revealed as they shared a smile.
"Do you want to see the ultrasound photo?"
Hearing the offer made Diane's lips curl up.
"Of course."
She took the photo from Eryn, this was the first time she saw her grandchild and those familiar feelings hit her really hard, just like the first time she had seen Liam. The happiness she felt at that moment was indescribable, she only wished Kurt had been there to see it too, so they could share this moment.
o-o-o
Diane drove Eryn home and despite her protest she insisted on accompanying her inside the apartment. She didn't want to overstay her welcome, but she had remembered the doctor's orders.
"You must be hungry, should I get you something?" She suggested, only realizing now if Liam had been there she would probably be the last person he'd want to see.
"I'll order something," Eryn promised with a smile that suggested she appreciated the offer.
"I don't think I should leave until I see you eat, but I don't want to be in your way," Diane proposed. She was aware that Eryn probably didn't need her anymore, but she didn't seem to mind that she was still there.
"Nonsense, I insist that you stay," Eryn reassured her of what Diane had already suspected.
Meanwhile Diane already forgot that Liam could show up there anytime, so it completely startled her when they heard the sounds of a key in the lock of the front door. Diane's stomach turned and she wished she could just become invisible now. She didn't feel ready to face her son and he didn't seem ready to face her either based on the way he looked at her from the doorway.
"Mom? What are you doing here?"
o-o-o
She was eyeing the pile of papers in front of her with disgust. It was the evidence of her failure as a wife and as a mother and she felt sick to her stomach. The pen was within her reach and all she had to do was grab it and sign above the dots like she had done as a lawyer on dozens of similar documents before. But this was personal, it was her future, her life and she was unable to do this last move just yet.
Once she did, it would be really over. And she wasn't ready for it to be over yet, even though she had made this decision a long time ago. It was for the best for Kurt, for Liam, but was it really the best for her?
She knew the answer to that question so well. Under the circumstances it was the right thing to do but it would not be good for her. In fact with this document she resigned from everything that had been good in her life. Besides Liam. She could not give up on her son. She knew it would be best for him to stay with Kurt, that was also what Liam wanted, but it was the one thing she couldn't give him. Not with a clear conscience. She hoped that one day he would understand.
She reached for the pen. She had already read the divorce settlement word by word. It had taken forever, and it felt like being stabbed with hundreds of small knives all along. She could have written it herself but she simply hadn't been capable so she asked a lawyer friend who she could trust. She did a decent job.
She felt like the dots above her name were silently mocking her, daring her. She was supposed to be the first to sign, and the empty space on the last page was still giving her a way out of this. She didn't have to do it. She could still change her mind. They could still make it work.
Could they?
The answer was obvious. She was painfully aware of it. It may have felt like she still had a choice, but it wasn't the case. She took a deep breath and signed one copy. All she had to do was sign 2 more and it would be the end. The end of him and her, the end of them as a family. It hurt like hell, but she did it anyway. And once she closed the documents and put them in the envelope she exhaled. She only realized now that she had been holding her breath all this time.
Now it was really over.
As soon as she closed it, she handed over the envelope with the address to her assistant. She didn't want to keep looking at it. Not that she needed a reminder. This was officially the worst day of her life and she knew that she would always remember it. And once she was back in the safety of her small, but private office, she allowed herself to mourn her now irreversible decision.
o-o-o
"I called her," Eryn answered instead of Diane protectively, which Diane appreciated a lot under the circumstances. "Your phone was off and I needed a ride home from the hospital," she added quickly and that one last word was enough for Liam to stop eyeing Diane and he turned to the other woman, approached her and gave her a loose hug.
"The hospital? Are you both okay?" He lowered his eyes on her yet barely visible belly, touching it gently and this emotional gesture made Diane smile.
"We are. You don't have to worry about us," Eryn insisted as she stroked his face. Diane was aware this wasn't the most ideal situation, but she was glad to observe them with each other. It was very clear that they loved each other and that was the only thing that really mattered.
"Are you sure? Whatever it is, I need to know." Liam's responsible reaction made Diane's lips curl up again. This was another thing he and his dad had in common.
"I am sure, I'll show you the discharge papers and the ultrasound." Eryn promised with a chuckle. Of course as a doctor he needed proof.
"Thank god. I'm really sorry you couldn't reach me," Liam apologized, making Diane realize that she knew something Eryn didn't. Diane was aware what had happened last night and it was best if his girlfriend didn't find out.
"It's okay, your mom was there." Eryn reached out to grab Diane's hand as a thank you, and she shifted her gaze to the ground a bit embarrassed.
"Thank you, mom." Liam's voice made Diane look up and when she saw the smile on his face, she had to suppress the tears that started forming in her eyes.
"I'm just glad they are okay," she cleared her throat, she didn't want to make a bigger deal out of it. "Now that you're home, you don't need me anymore. I will get out of your way." She nervously reached for her purse.
"I thought you're staying for lunch," Eryn reminded her, but Diane wasn't sure anymore. Not until she heard the voice of the person she didn't dare to look in the eye.
"You should stay."