Chapter Two
He awoke from a nightmare of seemingly being consumed in hell, to the relative peace of a New York morning; sore, in pain, dirty, thirsty and aware of a body next to his.
An arm was wrapped securely around his waist, a head on his shoulder, their breath caressing him. Frantically he searched his memory.
The Compass Rose; Vincent; the trap; the beginning of the explosion... it all came flooding back. He shuddered at the memory of the bullet piercing his back and remembered Vincent's words: "We leave here together, or not at all..."
But what had happened then? Where was he? Where was Vincent? And who was this beside him?
He shifted slightly and immediately his companion gripped him tighter, murmuring, "Keep still... Kaz..."
Kaz? Was that what she called him? What else had he said or told her? Should he inform her of his correct name? No. Better she remain ignorant of all the facts—for her own safety.
Suddenly, she jerked awake—guiltily—and raised herself enough to look down on him. Elliot found himself looking at a bruised face, a pair of tired, yet concerned brown eyes and everything clicked into place.
"Oh, Kaz, I'm sorry, I must have dozed off," she apologised. "How do you feel this morning?"
"I've felt better," Elliot replied weakly, stunned by how bad he really did feel; but at least he was alive! "How long have I—"
"Four days. You had a rough night last night."
"It looks as if you did too. Did I do that?" His hand reached out and gently touched the bruised and slightly swollen cheek.
She screwed up her nose as he touched a tender spot, then relaxed and smiled, revealing dimples in her cheeks. "I guess you must have... Are you hungry?"
"Thirsty, mainly."
"Okay." JD got up and fetched him some water. Elliot managed to ease himself up slightly and she put an extra pillow under him before placing a hand on his forehead to check his temperature. "You've still got a slight temperature; I think you'd better finish this course of antibiotics." She handed him another two pills. "After you've had something to eat I'll change that dressing."
"I-I'm not hungry."
"Of course you are!" JD didn't take no for an answer and gave him another complete liquid meal, promising to start back on solids very soon.
As she rummaged through her new batch of medical supplies Elliot suddenly became aware of the fact that he had no clothes on. Had she managed everything on her own? He found himself observing her differently. Slim, dark haired, dark eyed, small boned; she didn't look strong enough to tackle him but appearances he knew, could be very deceiving.
She changed his dressing, inspecting the wound carefully, then proceeded to give him a clean-up, promising that if he was strong enough, he could take a shower either that evening, or the next morning.
Elliot dutifully lay back, his eyes closed, whilst JD wiped a soapy sponge over his chest and arms. He could tell by the way it moved and felt, that her mind was on other things and debated whether or not to ask what it was, but in the end she took the choice from him.
"Do you remember what happened now?" The sponge stopped its slow, teasing movement and he opened his eyes to find her staring at him intently, as if trying to see behind the outward appearance and into his soul.
Silence reigned for a few moments. "Yes," he finally replied. "All of it."
"Do you... do you want to tell me about it?" she asked, hearing the pain in his voice.
"No."
"What's your first name?"
Again there was silence.
"You think I'm prying, don't you?" she asked, hurt evident in her voice and the sponge started to move again, this time in a very business-like fashion.
Elliot found he preferred the idle meanderings she had subjected him to earlier; they had been almost sensuous in their feel. He placed a hand over hers and stilled all movement.
"My name is Elliot and no, I don't think you're prying."
"Elliot... yes... you definitely look like an Elliot."
"Do I?" There was a hint of amusement in his voice and the beginnings of a mischievous glint in his eye. Not bad for a man who had come close to dying less than twenty-four hours ago. "And just what does 'an Elliot' look like?" he questioned.
She swallowed nervously, blushed and, to hide her embarrassment, broke free of his grasp, rinsed the sponge and began to wipe away the soap covering his chest. Again his hand stopped her.
"JD, the reason I don't want to tell you what happened is, it could be dangerous for you. If my enemies find out about... Well, I wouldn't want anything to happen to you, do you understand me?"
Her breath suddenly caught in her throat, leaving her dumbstruck. His eyes locked on to hers and she found she couldn't look away. All she could do was sink deeper and deeper... His hand on hers seemed to burn her skin and the heat rose within her body. From somewhere she found the will to answer his question with a rather shaky nod.
Elliot became aware of her predicament and broke eye contact before removing the sponge from her numb fingers.
"Hey," he said softly, "I'm suddenly feeling hungry. Why don't you fix me something to eat—perhaps some scrambled eggs—and I'll finish here."
It broke the spell. "O-okay." Her voice didn't sound too strong, but at least she had it back. She got up, wiped her wet hands nervously on her jeans and walked towards the kitchen.
"Oh, and I'll do anything for a coffee!"
She stopped and turned back to face him. "Anything?" she queried, raising an eyebrow.
"Well, may be in my present condition I'd better change it to almost anything!"
She laughed and escaped out of sight into the kitchen. Going straight to the sink she ran some cold water and splashed her cheeks to remove the intense heat there. What on earth was the matter with her? She didn't even know this man, yet he was almost turning her insides out!
Feeling better she set about getting him his scrambled eggs and coffee and felt happy when he made an excellent attempt at clearing his plate.
After that, she made him comfortable and he fell asleep immediately, leaving her free to sort out all the things she hadn't completed during the last three days. When they were completed she set about cleaning herself up and was horrified to see the beginnings of a bruise appearing on her cheek. Now she understood why it had felt tender to the touch. Elliot really had hit her!
A shower refreshed her and once again dressed, she sorted out his clothes. They would be ready for darning the next day. After all the chores were done she finally got something to eat and then sat back in her comfortable chair to read a book by her favourite author, although she didn't get very far before the last few days took their toll and she too fell asleep.
Elliot's promised shower came the following morning as both of them slept most of the day and night. Somehow, JD's internal clock woke her at regular intervals allowing her to feed her patient and give him his next dosage of tablets.
The distance from Elliot's bed to the bathroom wasn't particularly far, but he had been immobile for a number of days, and he was weak. There was no way he was going to make the journey in one go, so with a sudden flash of inspiration, JD placed a couple of chairs in strategic positions along the way.
Satisfied with her preparations, she disappeared into the bathroom and returned a moment later with a dressing gown which she laid out on her bed.
"I hope you don't mind, but I went through your pockets and used some of your money to buy this," she confessed.
"That's fine. I hope you're taking my keep out as well?"
She grinned at that. "Are you ready?" she asked.
They had spent several minutes discussing the best way to get him on his feet and had decided to use her bed as a lever and a half-way point.
Elliot shifted carefully so that his back was against her bed, placed his arms along it and bent his knees, strategically pulling the top sheet around himself. It was a bit late for modesty, but it did proffer him a degree of dignity!
JD stood astride him, hooked her arms under his armpits and clasped her hands securely, then she fidgeted until she was steady and comfortable.
"Now you mind your back," Elliot ordered. "We'll be in a real mess if you damage something!"
"Don't make me laugh, I won't be able to do anything!" she scolded him good naturedly. "I'm half way down the road to hysterics as it is!"
"Okay... after three. You just try and pull me straight up and I'll use my legs to push us back onto your bed. Right... one... two... three... ugh!"
There was a lot of groaning and gasping as they both worked towards their goal. The hardest part was lifting Elliot the first few inches until he managed to get his hands under and help lift himself up, but he was weak and she, slight of build. In the end, it became a battle of wills and sheer determination. With strength failing, JD gritted her teeth, made one last huge effort and suddenly, they were there, collapsed on her bed in a very compromising position with the sheet only just about covering what it should and her sprawled across him.
They would laugh about it a little later, but at the time, were just too exhausted to do anything—even move!
"Are you sure you really want a shower?" JD managed to get out, several minutes later.
"If I don't have one, you'll soon have to stand up wind!"
That remark was the final straw and they both collapsed in giggling hysterics although Elliot had to stop, as it hurt.
Wiping the tears from her eyes, JD moved and pulled the sheet up a bit further.
"Thank you," Elliot said. "Would you help me to sit up?"
She took his offered hands and pulled him upright before reaching for the robe of dark blue towelling and helping him into it.
"Okay, it'll be dead easy from now on," Elliot said confidently as he eased his way around the bed until he was against the wall and facing the direction he wanted to go in.
Using the wall on one side and JD on the other, Elliot gained his feet. He swayed rather alarmingly as nausea and weakness swept over him, but sheer stubbornness made him go on and, fifteen minutes later, he was sitting on a stool in the shower—another one of JD's bright ideas.
Elliot was determined to do as much as he could for himself. He knew he couldn't stay at her apartment indefinitely, just in case Gabriel was still searching. By now, with no sign of a body, he could well be concerned... or perhaps he'd assumed he'd been blown to bits along with the ship! Elliot shuddered and turned his mind to other things; like cleaning the parts of his anatomy that were proving almost impossible to reach with his restricted movement, followed by getting out of the shower and putting on the clothes JD had left for him.
There was a knock on the door. "Elliot, when you're ready, I'll redress that wound."
"Okay..." He emerged ten minutes later feeling clean, refreshed and, if not physically any better, it had a wonderful psychological effect.
JD put down her darning and helped him across the room to sit him down on her bed. She then proceeded to treat the wound.
"You look much better," she said as she finished.
"Good, but how do I smell?"
"Wonderful!" And to prove her point, bent close to his neck and breathed in his scent.
"Flatterer! I bet you say that to all the boys!"
In response, she grabbed a small hand towel, dropped it over his head and began to tousle his hair dry for him. After that she brushed it into some semblance of order and helped him on with his shirt.
"I assume you bought this lot as well?" he mused.
"Yes, you've nearly got a complete wardrobe!"
"JD..." He grabbed her hand and pulled her around from behind him to sit at his side. "Why are you doing this for me? You know nothing about me... I could be a mass murderer for all you know."
She looked down at their clasped hands. "I-I don't know, Elliot. You needed help... Being in danger never entered my head. I admit I threw a few wild ideas around—probably all wrong—but... but you don't look... bad. There's something in your eyes."
"Go on."
She dared to look up at him briefly, before glancing away again. It seemed easier to talk when she wasn't staring at him. "They look haunted, as if you've suffered a lot of pain in your life, some of it recently and yet, you try to hide it."
"Well, whatever the reason, I want you to know that I'll make it up to you one day, somehow. I promise."
"I-I don't want that... I don't want you to think you owe me a favour. Just tell me one thing. Are you one of the good guys?" She raised her head to look at him then, hoping to see beyond the surface; to know if he was telling the truth.
"Yes. Yes I am... honestly."
"Then that's all I need to know."
"But there's always a price."
"No, Elliot. Not on friendship. That's something you just can't buy... it's like love. You either love someone or you don't; you're someone's friend or you aren't, and the proof of that friendship is that they stick with you through thick and thin."
"You sound just like—" He stopped suddenly.
"—Cathy?" she questioned in a barely audible whisper.
He went grey and the pain in his eyes became all too evident.
JD felt the tears begin to trickle and a stab of envy strike her heart. "I'm sorry... You mentioned a few names in your delirium... I didn't say anything, you said you didn't want to discuss it..." She looked away and wiped a hand savagely across her face. "You... you must have loved her very much."
"Yes... I did. But she belonged to another."
JD turned back at these words. "Oh, Elliot..." and her tears began anew.
"Don't cry, JD, please." He wrapped his arms around her and held her close. JD snuggled into his chest, and they stayed that way for some time, gently rocking backwards and forwards. Elliot softly kissed the top of her head, before resting his cheek against her hair. "It's okay," he whispered, "It's okay."
"I'm sorry," he heard her mumble, "I'm so sorry," and he tightened his hold.
JD felt safe in his arms; safe, comfortable and content to stay there for as long as he would let her, but she knew she had to pull herself together, for both their sakes.
Reluctantly she finally straightened up. "Right," she said, rather self-consciously and changed the subject entirely. "I'm afraid I haven't got much in the way of home entertainment... no TV, no radio, but I do have books, tapes and conversation. If things really get tough, we can play 'I Spy'! Now, what do you want for breakfast?"
Over the following week, they swapped news and views on all manner of subjects; from hobbies to politics; from the state of the environment to what JD did for a living. Elliot was immediately concerned about the fact she was staying home all the time until she explained the club was closed for a month for refurbishment.
They found they had a number of things in common: a liking of jazz and the blues; musicals and being incurable romantics at heart. As a result, a deep friendship began to blossom between them. JD spoke of her dreams and Elliot listened intently; but when it was his turn he was very guarded and in the end simply stated he wanted his name cleared so he could start his life all over again.
JD sensed the bitterness but said nothing, thinking he must have been hurt very deeply.
Elliot had gained a little strength, but he was far from being well. He suffered a constant dull thudding ache, and any awkward twisting movement brought a sharp stabbing pain. Every now and again he had a sensation of pins and needles in his left arm, starting at his fingertips and gradually spreading upwards.
Standing on the threshold of the kitchen and living area one evening, JD noticed him flexing his fingers and gently rubbing the back of his hand.
"What's the matter, Elliot?"
"I... Pins and needles... nothing to worry about," he said in a casual voice, but he could see she wasn't convinced.
"You need a doctor, why—"
"No. I'll be all right." He smiled reassuringly at her as she came and knelt down in front of him, placing her hands on his thighs to balance herself.
"But I'm worried about you, you've very little colour and—"
He placed a finger against her lips to silence her, then gently stroked her cheek, feeling rather choked. He couldn't remember when he'd last heard words like that: that someone was worried about him. It made him feel wanted; secure.
"Please, don't worry about me," he said in a deep, even-toned whisper that made her heart miss a beat. "I'll be fine."
They stared at each other and for the first time, he noticed the orange flecks in her brown eyes. Elliot's hand moved to the back of her neck and slowly pulled her towards him. Her hands slid up his thighs, over his hips and around his waist as the distance between them closed but, just as their lips were about to touch, a loud hissing sound came from the kitchen.
It made JD jump and she pulled away sharply, swearing. "Damn! The dinner's boiled over!" She looked at him apologetically and ran to the kitchen to save the situation.
Elliot realised his heart was thudding in his chest and fought to bring it back under control. What was he doing? He mustn't get involved at any cost! It would be too dangerous for JD, and it wouldn't be fair. He had nothing to offer her except possible death if Gabriel should discover them. No, he had to deal with him first and if he survived that, then maybe he'd think about an involvement.
Her sudden cry brought his head up sharply. "JD!"
"It's all right! I've just scolded myself. Dammit, how stupid can you get!"
He heard a tap running and went to investigate. She was holding her arm under the cold water and pulling a face.
"God, what a pair we're making!" She gave a weak laugh and turned the tap off.
"You're supposed to leave it under for twenty minutes," Elliot said, taking her arm firmly and inspecting the angry red mark on the underside.
"Dinner'll be spoilt if I do that! I don't know about you, but I'm hungry!"
Elliot glanced at her, then gently lifted her arm to his mouth and placed a butterfly kiss on the burn. "That'll make it better," he said.
The pain disappeared and was replaced by heat where his hand held her. Suddenly overwhelmed by the action, she became flustered and attempted an act of bravado.
"Oh... men... you're all alike! Come on, give me a hand," she muttered and gently released herself from his hold, her heart beating out a message that she was sure he must have heard.
Elliot insisted on helping her with the washing up afterwards as he was fed up with sitting around doing nothing all day. JD relented, but told him as soon as he felt tired, he was to stop.
The simple task made him feel quite happy and domesticated. That thought even brought a smirk to his lips and forgetting, just for a split second, he twisted to mention it to JD. The sudden spasm of pain stopped him dead, and he went as white as a sheet. He forced himself to relax and it began to fade, so he carried on with his chore and reached for a mug to dry. It suddenly dropped from lifeless fingers to the floor and miraculously bounced and did not break.
"Elliot!" JD turned to find him cradling his left arm.
"It... it's gone dead, JD." His eyes were wide as he looked at her. She knew he was scared but said nothing. Instead she came to him and gave him her support.
"Can you flex your fingers at all?" she asked softly, reaching out and gently stroked the back of his hand.
She heard his sharp intake of breath as realisation dawned that he couldn't. Was he going to panic?
"It's all right, don't worry. I'm sure it'll pass. Come and sit down."
She guided him back to her comfortable chair; noticing he was also favouring his left leg. JD now had her suspicions which he voiced for her.
"It's that bullet, it must be resting against a nerve or something," he said in a barely audible whisper.
"Please, Elliot—"
"No," he replied firmly, knowing what she was about to say. He saw the tears in her eyes and loved her for it. "No... at least... not yet," he relented.
She looked at him sharply, then nodded.
In an effort to take his mind off the situation, she made him more comfortable, got him a coffee and then sat by his feet and began to read from Deryni Rising By Katherine Kurtz. It was the first volume in a set of three and Elliot listened with interest, especially when a character named Alaric Morgan arrived on the scene, for her whole voice changed whenever he was mentioned and she glanced often at Elliot as the character was described... grey eyes, slim yet firmly built, burnished gold hair, impeccable manners, but filled with mystery and never helping the situation by dressing in black. Elliot began to wonder if she was making some kind of comparison...
The numbing sensation turned out to be the first attack. Over the next ten days they became progressively worse and the last, late one evening had laid him out; first making his body shudder with spasmodic muscle contractions and then with a temporary paralysis completely down his left side. JD had spent the entire night holding his trembling body in her arms, trying to comfort and soothe him; reading now, from volume two of the Deryni series.
By the next morning, he had recovered somewhat and was once again sitting in a chair, deep in thought. In fact, he spent most of the day this way and he knew he had to make his decision now.
Elliot sighed heavily and glanced across at JD who, on hearing him, looked up from the book she was reading and gazed at him questioningly.
"What's wrong?" she asked cautiously. He had been extremely quiet and distant all day and she had a suspicion she was about to be told something she didn't want to hear.
He didn't answer her. Instead he eased himself out of his chair and stood rather unsteadily. He wasn't getting any better and knew he wouldn't until that bullet came out, but he just couldn't risk going to a hospital, so where was he going to get help?
His mind drifted back four weeks or so ago. Vincent had been shot, but he'd been patched up. All he had to do was find Vincent and hopefully he'd get the help he needed. Elliot refused to believe he had been killed in the explosion; they had been together after all and Vincent was a lot tougher than himself.
It was too dangerous to stay Above anyway. Gabriel could still be searching for him and if they found him here, they could hurt JD too. No, he had to go and the only place he had left was below the streets of New York—if he could remember the way.
"Elliot?" JD questioned again.
He finally raised his eyes and looked at her.
"I have to go," he said quietly.
"Go? Where? You can't, you're not well enough!" She dropped her book and stood up sharply.
"I'm not getting any better, JD, you know that as much as I do. The attacks are getting worse; I don't feel... right."
"You need hospital treatment!"
"I can't go to a hospital; all gunshot wounds are reported; I mustn't be discovered—not yet."
"Then where will you get treatment?"
"I think I know of a place—a safe place—if I can remember how to get there."
"Where?"
"It's best you don't know anything, it's too dangerous."
"You keep on saying that—" she began gesticulating helplessly with a hand. "—why don't you go to the police or something?"
"Because some of them are involved in it too and I don't know who I can trust there."
Her eyes grew wide and bright. If she began to cry, Elliot knew he would weaken and tell her everything.
"Can—can I come with you?" she asked quietly, keeping a tight hold on her emotions.
Elliot shook his head. "No. I'm sorry. I would take you if I could, but the path I must tread is lonely and dangerous and I wouldn't dream of subjecting you to that."
"I'll take my chances!"
"But I won't. Please, JD, don't make this any more difficult than it already is."
"Will I... will I ever see you again?"
"I hope so, honey, I really do, but until this mess is sorted out, I daren't keep in contact with anyone. My enemies could try to get at me through the people I know and care about."
She clasped her hands together in frustration and anguish, then released them and dug her fingernails into her palms to stop herself from breaking down in front of him.
"Be careful, won't you?"
"I promise."
He held his arms out to her, and she ran to him, clinging to him with all her might, as if she would never let him go. His body tensed as a jolt of pain shot through him, but he made no sound; just continued to hold her. They stayed that way for a number of minutes, then he pulled away slightly, interlaced his fingers around the back of her neck and kissed her tenderly, numbing her into submission.
"You'll... need... some money," she stated with difficulty after the kiss ended.
"No I won't. Keep whatever's left. It's the least I can do, for you."
"But... "
"Please." He ran his fingers through her hair, memorising the feel, the softness, then boldly kissed her long and hard. He didn't know when—or if—he would see her again and wanted the memory of that kiss; of her; to stay with him. She melted in his arms, moulded herself to his body and Elliot knew it had to end before all was lost.
They parted reluctantly, then he carefully turned, picked up his coat and walked out of her apartment, shutting the door behind him. He paused to put his coat on, sighed again and took his first step. At the same moment, JD slowly sank to the floor against the door and began to cry as if her heart was breaking.