A Need To Be Loved

by smutokai69

After failing to stop Jinx a second time, and her breakup with Vi, a surprised Caitlyn is appointed General to oversee Martial Law. Feeling emotionally overwhelmed, Caitlyn returns home, feeling more alone than she's ever been. But a young Enforcer refuses to let the person she idolizes give in to despair. *Takes place after s2, ep3 (Act 1). (warning, sexual content)

Comfort from an unexpected source

After being appointed to lead the nation under martial law, A heavy-hearted Caitlyn returns home, feeling more alone that she'd ever felt in her life. Until, she gets an unexpected visit from a young Enforcer.

Caitlyn tried to avoid the congratulations and cheers as she thumped her chest. A part of her wished she could disappear from that room. Why did she even walk up to accept Ambessa's proposal? There was no discussion before hand, no hint that she was intending to give HER such a position. A position that would make her a symbol of authority. The very thing she swore she would never be. Part of her wanted to remain still, hoping the chest thumping of the Noxian guards would subside into silence, with her standing still being a tacit affirmation that she wanted no part in such a position. But then, the Enforcers around her began copying the Noxian guards, and she just felt… as if she were being led by some invisible hand, towards Ambessa. Thumping her chest was apparently a cue for everyone else to stop. The Noxians stopped immediately after her, the Enforcers continued for a few beats more, until looking to one another, they realized they were doing it alone, and stopped before staring forward. Towards her. There was an uncomfortable silence, for about ten seconds. Ambessa must have realized Caitlyn had no idea what to do next, because she spoke up. She thanked Caitlyn for her acceptance of her duty, praising her and saying that she would have her council. Also saying the people of Piltover would be grateful to her for her loyalty to them. Ambessa turned her head to both groups of citizens as she said that, and as if on cue, they slowly began clapping. Whether it was out of appreciation for her, or intimidation from Ambessa, she couldn't tell. And she didn't care. She just wanted to be out of that room. After some more platitudes and speeches, everyone seemed ready to leave. Caitlyn remained standing at the centre of the ledge, silent and not knowing what to say her do, her back to the city she was sworn to protect.

Hours later, she found herself at the memorial. It had gotten dark, and the only source of light, save the moon, was coming from the candles left at the base of the statues. Caitlyn stood there in the cloak Ambessa had put on her, her white beret since left in her transport vehicle. She looked up at her mother's face as the long blue strands of hair to the side of her head swayed loosely in front of her face, the rest of her hair tied into a neat bun. She then looked down at the cloak she wore. The one signifying her new position of power. Only…

She never sought power. She never wanted to be anything more than an Enforcer. But now, she was given rule over a city. She'd be able to make the decisions she couldn't make before. That was good, wasn't it? She was in a position to make a difference now. And she felt so… lost. So alone. She remembered back to her appointment, and how, after thumping her chest, she searched the ranks of the Enforcers, looking for Vi, before remembering why she wasn't there.

Because SHE, Caitlyn, had left her. Left her there.

Left her at the bottom of that well. Her heart sank at the image, and she remembered hearing a voice. A voice in her head, telling her, demanding, that she climb back down and go to Vi. To hold her. To tell her she was sorry for hitting her. She still couldn't believe she'd done that. Vi had grabbed her. But not forcefully, more to just get her to stop. And listen to her. She'd even softened her grip, and let her hand travel down Caitlyn's forearm. Towards her hand. Yes, that's what she was doing. But Caitlyn just remembered being… so angry. So angry at Vi. And herself. Would she have made the shot without hitting the child? Was Vi protecting her from the guilt of killing a child? Was that it? Did Vi not believe she could make the shot? Maybe. Maybe there was enough doubt and ambiguity that there was merit to both sides. Maybe there was blame to be shared by both sides. But in the end, it was Vi who was doubled over in pain on her knees. Caitlyn remembered the look she gave Vi. The look that Vi must have seen. Vi was searching her face for something. But Caitlyn didn't want to betray any sympathy. Any concern. Any remorse. She was too angry. Too angry at having lost another chance to kill Jinx.

And the only person there to take her wrath, was Vi. Caitlyn's mind then focused again on Vi's face before she could block the memory out. She'd never seen Vi so… vulnerable. So sad. So heartbroken. She was crying. Not a sniffle. Or a sob that she allowed to escape before composing herself. No. She was crying. And it wasn't because of how hard Caitlyn had hit her with her rifle. It was… that Caitlyn had hit her. Hit her when she was trying to get her to listen. Caitlyn didn't even remember planning to to it. It was as though her anger and her body were in sync. And in one quick motion, she could hear Vi's startled gasp as she doubled over, looking up at Caitlyn in pain and shock, not believing what just happened. Caitlyn winced at the memory of hearing Vi's gasp of pain. And Caitlyn… did nothing. She just turned and climbed out. She couldn't remember ever feeling so angry… and so ashamed at herself, at the same time. She remembered going back almost an hour later, alone. Half worried she would find Vi passed our. Finding out she had hurt Vi more than she intended. But Vi was gone. Caitlyn blinked her eyes once as she stared up at the statue. Trying to remember the source of her anger, and draw it out so that she could somehow use it to drown out her guilt. She continued staring until a voice broke her train of thought in the quiet night.

"Commander Kiramman? I'm sorry, but it late, and we really should be getting you home."

Caitlyn turned to the source of the voice. That source, being Maddie, the young female officer who was a part of her personal squad. She had said it an a professional, but almost cheerful and playful tone. It would be an inappropriate tone for anyone else to use when speaking to a superior, but for Maddie… it was just the way she spoke. She stood at attention, her orange bob of hair protruding from her Enforcer's hat, and an almost tentative smile on her freckled face. She had a positive, bubbly energy to her that Caitlyn envied. Even when she was a new recruit, Caitlyn couldn't remember ever being so… happy. She hadn't paid much attention to the recruit before, as her mind was fixated on Jinx. But she took the time to do a subtle once over. Maddie was probably a half foot or more, shorter than her. Her dark blue uniform with gold trim couldn't hide that the body under it had a slim athletic figure, which was to be expected for any Enforcer. She clearly loved being an Enforcer. Caitlyn wondered silently when the last time was that she felt that way. And when, or rather, if, she would ever feel that way again. She continued staring

After a moment, Caitlyn gave a curt nod as she slowly turned and walked to the young Enforcer. Upon nearing her, Maddie turned and waited for Caitlyn to pass, before follow a step behind alongside the other Enforcer who was a part of the detail.

Caitlyn was so consumed in her thoughts, she did not notice the way the young Enforcer tilted her head as she walked by, as if wanting to inquire how she was. The other Enforcer was driving, with Maddie riding next to him in the front. Caitlyn herself was sitting directly behind the driver. The ride was mostly in silence, with Maddie occasionally giving out directions to better guide the driver. Caitlyn found herself looking at the young officer, seeing how focused and serious she was. Caitlyn could tell Maddie was trying not to look back at her. Caitlyn thought about everything that had happened, and everything, and everyone, she had lost, in the last few days, and she put her head down, staring at her lap. She closed her eyes and then raised her right thumb and forefinger to gently massage and rub the part of her nose that ended right between her eyes. She took calming breaths and continued doing so. It went on for a few seconds, and she thought she heard something, before she heard Maddie's voice ring out:

"Stop the car!"

The car lurched to a stop, and Caitlyn's eyes blinked open, her senses heightened, reaching for her sidearm under her long coat. She immediately looked out both windows, but couldn't see any figures or mechs. She then looked behind her, and also saw nothing. Finally, she turned to face the front, only to see Maddie craning her to look back at her, a look of concern on her normally cheerful face.

"Are you alright, Commander?"

Caitlyn, her sense of alarm lowering, narrowed her eyes in confusion as she answered.

"Yes, Maddie. Did you see something?" Caitlyn asked, as her eyes searched the windows, looking for some shadowy figures. But the darkened streets were clear.

Maddie took a breath, visibly relaxing.

"Oh, no, Commander. But when I turned to see how you were doing, I saw you had your head down and looked like you were in pain. I tried calling out to you, but you didn't answer."

Caitlyn let out a breath, trying not to sound angry at the young officer's clear overreaction to her rubbing that part of her face that people rub when they feel a headache coming on. But then she realized that sound she heard before the young officer ordered the car stop was actually the officer trying to get her attention in a softer voice. And Caitlyn had failed to respond. Caitlyn felt her irritation give way to guilt, as she then said in a tired voice:

"I'm fine, Maddie, thank you. I was just —, it's nothing. It's just been a long day."

"Oh, understood Commander. Carry on then." She said to the driver, as the car started.

The rest of drive, which lasted 20 minutes, went without incident. Arriving at her estate, Maddie got out of the car and walked briskly to the other side to open Caitlyn's door. Caitlyn tried to force a faint smile as she got out of the car. She heard Maddie say something to the driver which she couldn't make out, and then saw her walk to get some of her belongings from the trunk. Maddie then turned to Caitlyn, holding her white beret and backpack containing her hex tech rifle, and said in a cheerful voice:

"Now, let's get you inside, Commander."

Caitlyn found the cheerfulness of the young officer both endearing and infuriating at the same time. But she couldn't really fault Maddie for that. That was due to Caitlyn's mood. Caitlyn gave a silent nod and they made their way to the door. As they got to the door, Caitlyn unlocked and opened it, taking the rifle from the young officer's hands. She turned to dismiss the officer, only to see that the officer was staring at her with a more serious, almost concerned expression, her hands stiffly at their sides. She then said, in a more reserved tone than she normally used:

"Commander?"

"Yes, Maddie?" Caitlyn replied, curiosity growing as the young officer seemed unsure of something, looking down briefly before looking back at the car and then at her. The young officer then took a breath and said:

"I was hoping to speak with you about a…. A personal matter. But an important one. And one I did not feel was appropriate to speak to you about, in the company of another."

Caitlyn regarded the young officer's words and demeanour. She seemed more serious than she normally was. It wasn't like her. And Caitlyn wondered if it was some concern about a rumour may have heard about her appointment. But a part of Caitlyn just couldn't deal with being around anyone at the moment. She didn't want to be rude to the young officer, but she wasn't really in the mood to talk to anyone. She took a breath and turned towards the door as she replied:

"Maddie, it…is rather late, I'm sure it can wait until tomorrow, so —"

"-I'm sorry, Commander, but I - I don't think it can."

Caitlyn turned back to the young officer, taken aback more so by the forwardness of her tone, rather than the fact that she had interrupted her. In truth, Caitlyn didn't mind being interrupted if someone if they felt it was necessary. She didn't want to become one of those officers who felt they were above being interrupted, or told they needed to listen. She then sighed and nodded. The young officer then turned to the car and gave a nod and waved, and Caitlyn's eyes widened slightly as the driver in the car nodded and then started the car, leaving the property. She then looked back at Maddie in confusion, but Maddie replied in her more trademark cheerful tone:

"Oh, it's all right, I didn't want to keep them out late, and I can just walk back home, since it is a nice night outside."

Caitlyn felt a small twinge of exasperation at Maddie's explanation. She then nodded to Maddie to enter, and closed the door behind them. As she did so, the young officer watched her carefully and stepped forward, offering to take her long coat. Caitlyn sighed and nodded. The young Enforcer smiled and walked up to the taller woman, gently taking each collar and pushing one back over her shoulder. She then walked around as she removed the long coat, and neatly folded it over her arm, holding it the way one would hold a long towel. Caitlyn nodded and gave a tight smile, motioning for the girl to put the coat, along with the beret and backpack, on a large decorative table. The tight smile she gave the girl illicit the girl's trademark cheerful smile, as she turned and put her item softly on the table. Caitlyn then motioned for the young officer to follow her up the stairs to the second floor where a large study room and most of the bedrooms were. As they walked up, Caitlyn asked the young Enforcer if she wanted a tea, to which the officer politely declined in a cheerful tone. Caitlyn nodded in acknowledgement as she continued walking up the stairs.

They walked the mahogany floors, decorated with intricate trims bearing the Kiramman crest. The hallway walls had pictures of her ancestors. Caitlyn tried to ignore them as she continued walking, not wanting to be reminded of the pain of seeing her mother's picture. Maddie, walking a step behind, was just close enough that Caitlyn could see out of the corner of her eye that she was attentively looking at each picture as she walked by. Although she could not see how the young officer would, several times, glance at her own figure as she walked.

After some time, they reached the large study room. It resembled a library, its 12 foot ceilings a dark brown wood colour, covered with bookshelves, and one wall having a large portrait of one of her ancestors. A large dark blue rug covered the centre of the room floor. And on it were two dark blue sofas, adorned in gold trim. And between them was a dark brown coffee table, hand crafted, with 4 elegantly designed legs. Caitlyn invited Maddie to sit on one of the couches as she walked towards the other, their boot heels clicking on the hardwood floor, the stony silence in the room making each step sound louder than it should. Maddie reached her sofa first and turned toward her, but did not sit until Caitlyn did, earning a tight smile from the taller woman for the unnecessary act of decorum. Caitlyn then sat down first and gave her head a slight shake, to push away the thick locks of blue hair that she let fall down one side of her face. She brought one leg up and crossed it over the other, adjusting her gold trimmed blue tunic. Her dark brown and black knee high boots contrasted against her pristine white pants, and she brushed some wrinkles away as she adjusted her position before leaning back in her sofa. As she did so, Maddie sat down, taking her hat off and placing it on her lap. She then looked at Caitlyn and smiled. It was a genuine smile, and appears to be a nervous one, all at the same time. She said nothing, just staring at Caitlyn. For a moment, Caitlyn was worried that the young Enforcer wanted to announce her resignation. Given everything that had happened, the failure to capture Jinx, another attack, increased tensions, it was a possibility. But rather than assume, Caitlyn took a measured breath and said in a polite but formal voice:

"So, Maddie, what was it you wished to speak to me about?"

Maddie seemed to fidget, as if forgetting something as she looked down at her hat. But then she squared her shoulders and sat up strait, and said in a shaky but energetic voice:

"Commander, I wished to apologize for my actions earlier."

"Your actions earlier?" Caitlyn said in a confused voice.

Maddie nodded as she continued.

"Yes, my… thumping of the chest. I thought I should explain why —"

Caitlyn set out a sigh and held up a hand to politely stop Maddie, as her worries about the young Enforcer quitting were allayed. And remembering what Maddie was talking about. She remembered seeing the Noxians in the far side of the room begin beating their chests, following Ambessa. She remembered standing there, unable to know how to react. But before she could think of what to do, she began to hear a new thumping sound, and turned slowly to her right, only to see the officer before her, Maddie, thumping her own chest while smiling at her encouragingly. And then, one by one, her own enforcers began copying the young Enforcer, until the sound seemed to echo throughout the broken council room. Caitlyn found herself smiling at the memory, moved by the Enforcers' actions. By Maddie's actions. She then snapped out of her thoughts, realizing the young Enforcer was staring at her expectantly, awaiting her response. Caitlyn's eyes opened wider momentarily in embarrassment, and she leaned forward slightly as she put her hand to her mouth to politely clear her throat. She then spoke up:

"It's all right, Maddie. Given Ambessa's powerful speech, it was easy to assume everyone was to follow their lead. But no harm was done. In fact, I'm sure Ambessa appreciated the support" Caitlyn said in a dry tone that she tried to make sound encouraging, in an effort to ease the young Enforcer's tense demeanour.

The officer, looked down as she smiled and nodded. But for some reason, Caitlyn felt like the young Enforcer was almost disappointed in her reply, but then Caitlyn remembered she had cut her off, and paused, motioning for Maddie to speak:

"Oh, that's good. But, to be honest, Commander, that's not why I —"

A noise caused both Maddie and Caitlyn to look up, hearing something from on top. Caitlin then turned her head to her right, in the direction of the solitary window. She then got up and walked over to it, with Maddie following her. As they reached it, Caitlyn saw what the source of the sound was.

Rain. Heavy rain. And in the distance, she could see the night sky light up with lightning.

"Oh, well, I, I should get going then, good— good night Commander. And thank you for allowing me to apologize for my behaviour earlier."

Caitlyn took her eyes from the window, and turned towards the young Enforcer as she had put her hat back on, adjusting it under her short and puffy orange mop of hair. She then saluted with a smile on her face as she turned to leave. Caitlyn turned to walk her out, but turned as she heard the rain come down even harder. As much as she wanted to be alone, she didn't like the idea of the Enforcer walking home in the night alone. Especially given the current climate. After some reservations, and reluctance, she turned and called out:

"Maddie, wait," she said as Maddie stopped just outside the study room in the large hallway. She waited, with an almost eager look on her face, happy to answer whatever command Caitlyn had. Caitlyn reached her, and looking out the large windows around the open hallways.

"How were you getting home?"

"Oh, I was just going to take a brisk walk, or rather a run, in the rain. My flat isn't too many blocks from here." She said with a confident smile.

Caitlyn thought about it. It was dark and raining, and while Maddie was an Enforcer, she didn't like the idea of the young Enforcer wandering home in the dark of night. And Caitlyn knew it would be a process to have another driver make their way to her home in those conditions. She took a breath as the young Enforcer stared up at her attentively as she spoke:

"Maddie, it would be better to spend the night here, and leave in the morning when the weather and lighting are better."

"Oh, I….I would't want to be a bother," Maddie stammered as she looked around her.

Caitlyn raised an eyebrow as she replied in a tone that left little room for argument.

"It's no bother. There are… enough rooms in this manor. Follow me." Caitlyn turned and made her way down the main hallway with pictures of ancestors framed along both sides of the walls. Caitlyn walked at a brisk pace, with Maddie following behind. Caitlyn then turned to one of the doors near the end of the hallway. She then opened the door and turned the light on before peaking in. It was one of the many guest suites in the manor. The floors were a dark mahogany, with blue carpet and gold trim along the floor. Along the right side wall was a bed with large cushions and pillows, all a shade of blue and gold. There was a dresser and mirror at a vanity mirror at the far wall. Caitlyn motioned Maddie inside, and pointed to a large wooden door near the bed.

"The bathroom is inside. You'll find any items you need under the sink. And if you need anything, there is a lever to push, to get one of the servants. They can provide any tea or other items you need. I'm sorry I don't have any night clothes for you, I —" Maddie interrupted with her hands up in a placating gesture.

"Oh, no that's quite alright, Commander. This is more than adequate. This room is far more than anything I've ever had. Thank you!"

Caitlyn nodded in acceptance of Maddie's thanks. She sometimes forgot the scale of her family's estate and wealth, and how something she was so used to, could so easily impress others. She wanted to smile, but in truth, she just didn't have the energy, or desire, to. She instead walked to the doorway and motioned to her right, having Maddie follow her to see where she was motioning:

"I'm in the room next door, so if you feel something is important enough to —" Maddie cut her off as she replied:

"Oh, no! I wouldn't dream of — I mean, I'm sure everything will be okay, Commander. Please, don't worry about me. I'll be fine, I promise. And thank you again." She said with an enthusiastic nod.

Caitlyn returned the nod and turned to go to her quarters, not seeing the way the young Enforcer watched her as made her way to her room. The Enforcer continued watching her, turning to go inside only when she saw Caitlyn pause at her door for a moment before opening it. Maddie then closed the door behind her and began undoing her tunic to make herself more comfortable as she sat on the bed.

Caitlyn closed the door behind her, and leaned her back against it as she did so. She looked up at the high ceiling. She took a long breath to calm herself, but all it did was make her replay the events from earlier in the day. She could feel the back of her eyes burn, but she clenched her eyes shut, trying to will away the wetness she could feel forming at her tear ducts. Then, after a moment, she stood up from the door and walked towards the bed. She began undoing her tunic, and slowly, almost mechanically, began undressing, uncharacteristically tossing her uniform haphazardly on one of the furniture pieces at the base of her oversized bed. Down to just her undershirt, white pants and knee high boots, she walked to the foot of her bed and turned to look opposite to it.

On the opposite wall of her bed was a vanity desk. It was a dark wood finish, with gold trim that carried the markings of her house. It had a a bench a foot away from it, which replaced a traditional chair. And on the desk was a large mirror, large enough that it went from one end of the 3 foot wide desk to the other, and at least 5 feet up. Caitlyn stood in front of the mirror and stared at herself. She continued to stare, and found she had to resist the urge to punch the mirror. To punch her reflection. To punch herself. She felt a lump form in her throat, but swallowed and took a breath to fight what she knew was coming. She would not cry. She would not be weak. She couldn't afford to be weak. Not anymore. Especially now.

She slowly walked to her dresser and took off her remaining clothes and replaced them with a dark blue silk nightgown. It had two thin straps for each shoulder, and lengthwise, finished midway on her upper leg. She walked up to the mirror and gave herself another look. She remembered her hair was still tied in the bun, with only the blue locks on one side falling down one side of her face. She undid the bun, and ran her fingers through her long blue hair, letting it fall into the normal style where it was parted to one side. The style that she normally wore before… before the attack. She sighed, feeling as though she hadn't slept in an age, and began turning off the many lights in her room. She then turned to her bed and got under the covers. The only sound she could hear were the sounds of the heavy rain hitting the walls and roof. She slowly closed her eyes, as she tried to steady her breathing once more, trying to drift off to sleep. Eventually, she succeeded. And she soon wished she hadn't.

She could see her. Hunched over in pain. A look of pain and shock, with tears streaming down her face. But no anger. There was no anger on Vi's face. Only pain and sorrow. That's what made it so hard. It would have been so much easier if Vi was angry. If she had told her she hated her. That she was no better than any other Enforcer. Or that she was worse than any other Enforcer. But there was no insult. No condemnation. And that made Caitlyn feel even worse. When she went back later, Vi was gone. But in her dream, or rather, nightmare, she's still there. Only, she's not moving. She's lying on her back, the gauntlets tossed uselessly at either side. And her eyes are open. Staring straight up. Caitlyn looks closely, and she can see stream of dried tears running down Vi's face. Caitlyn wants to say something. She opens her mouth to say she's sorry. That she's so sorry. She takes a reluctant step closer. She drops her rifle, no, she throws it away, remembering how the butt of her rifle had connected with Vi's stomach. Remembering only after the fact, that she had hit Vi where she had been stabbed earlier. She threw the rifle away, as if punishing it for hitting Vi. But the rifle didn't hit Vi by itself. It hit Vi because she had been holding it, and used it to hit her. She didn't mean to hit her that hard. That's what she kept telling herself. But that wasn't the issue. She shouldn't have hit her at all. How could she?! After everything that had happened. To both of them. How could she? She looked from the rifle again to Vi, only this time, Vi skin tone was gone, she was like a grey marble statue, immortalized in that position. Caitlyn reached down, touching her face, but she only felt cold. There was no warmth. It was gone. She was gone. Because of her. Caitlyn felt her heartbeat quicken, and all of a sudden, everything around them seemed to get dark, so that the only thing she could see, was Vi. The person she loved. The person she hurt. Then, Vi started to fade into the black too. Caitlyn reached down again, and tried to hold onto Vi, but she couldn't. Vi just kept sinking into the dark. Caitlyn grasped at her with both hands, but… nothing. She began screaming, calling out for Vi in vain. Until, she heard something. Like an echo. It was saying something. What was it?

"Commander?"

That voice! She remembered it. But from where?

"Commander! Wake up!"

Caitlyn's eyes blinked open, and she found the lights near her bed were back on. But how? Her eyes focused, and she could tell that she was on her back. She felt hands on her shoulders, shaking them. She looked up, and saw an orange mop of hair atop a face, and after blinking a few times, realized it was the young Enforcer, Maddie. Slowly, Caitlyn began taking calming breaths, and sat up, pulling herself back so that her back was resting against the headboard of the bed. As she did so, Maddie, who had been over her, repositioned herself so that she was sitting with her legs facing away, and her body twisted so that it was facing Caitlyn, her face a mixture of concern and confusion. As Caitlyn sat back she pressed her hands on either side of her to sit up more, and then rested them on her lap, the bed covers still covering her below her legs. She took another breath and looked away for a moment before turning to look back at Maddie, who was leaning forward, her eyebrows furrowed in concern as she asked:

"Are you alright, Commander?"

Caitlyn's response was automatic:

"I'm fine, Maddie. How did you-?" Caitlyn turned to her left towards the door leading to the hallway, and saw it looked like it had been opened without any force. She then realized that she never locked the door. But that still didn't explain why Maddie was in her room. Maddie, tracking where Caitlyn was looking, replied:

"Oh, the door to your room was unlocked." She said sheepishly before quickly adding:

"I could hear sounds through the wall. They were coming from your room. It sounded like there was a struggle. So I came as quick as I could. And I saw you looking like you were fighting something. That's why I was trying to wake you… Commander." She added the last word, as if trying to reestablish the decorum in the awkward situation.

Caitlyn put her head down, embarrassed and angry. Angry at not being able to control her emotions, her feelings, again. This time in the world of dreams. And embarrassed, because Maddie, who she knew looked up to her, saw her in this state. She looked up, but before she could say anything, Maddie turned and handed her something. It as a tissue. Caitlyn frowned, as Maddie gestured to her own eyes. Caitlyn reached up to touch her face, and could feel her cheeks were wet. Sweat? No. Tears. Caitlyn swallowed, feeling her anger rise again, but she refused to let it show. She nodded wordlessly as she took the tissue and wiped her tears away. She then handed the tissues back to Maddie, who got up and walked to a waste basket near her dresser. As she did so, Caitlyn regarded the young Enforcer's wardrobe. Or rather, lack of wardrobe.

She was wearing the white dress shirt of an Enforcer. It fit her loosely, and it looked like she had rolled the sleeve halfway up her slim forearms. But it looked like that was all she was wearing. Caitlyn saw Maddie's slim athletic legs bare, as she walked barefoot toward the basket. She bent over to put it in, and Caitlyn felt the need to look away for reasons of politeness and etiquette. She looked back as Maddie walked towards her, wearing nothing but her white shirt, her underwear, and bra. Caitlyn expected her to sit back on the bed, but instead Maddie walked towards the door and closed it before walking towards her, causing Caitlyn to furrow her eyebrows in confusion. Maddie then stopped at the edge of the bed and, after looking unsure of herself, took a deep breath, her signature smile returning, although somewhat more thoughtful, and gestured with a hand towards the vanity desk.

"Commander, if I may?"

Caitlyn felt emotions of confusion fight with her anger at being in such a compromised state, and wanted to refuse, or ask why, but did not feel she had the energy to argue. So she sighed, and tossing the covers from her, slowly got up and walked to the vanity desk. Maddie walked ahead of her, and with her hand, reached down and patted the left part of the bench, motioning her to sit. Caitlyn tilted her head and looked at Maddie questioningly. But for some reason, Maddie's smile, that bubbly smile, seemed to have a mix of resolve, implying that she was going to insist if she said no. Caitlyn still felt her emotions were frayed, so she felt the sooner she indulged the well meaning Enforcer, the sooner she could send her off, and return to her nightmares. Caitlyn nodded wordlessly, as she reached to the dresser to grab a think silk robe that matched the nightgown she was wearing, the sweat making her feel colder than she was. She then sat on the bench and crossed her legs as Maddie sat next to her and did the same. Maddie then looked at her with a smile, and motioned her towards the mirror. Caitlyn frowned in confusion, feeling a sense of exasperation, but did so. As she did so, she stared at the mirror, with Maddie doing the same, and looking at her in the mirror.

"Commander, if I may?"

Caitlyn shrugged, unsure of what was to come.

Maddie took a breath and spoke up:

"I wanted to explain why I joined the Noxian's during their chant. It… it wasn't to appease them."

"Oh", Caitlyn frowned in confusion, looking at Maddie in the mirror.

"I did it because I- I was angry. Angry and happy."

Caitlyn's eyes opened slightly in surprise, surprised at the words chosen by the normally bubbly Enforcer. But before she could say anything, Maddie continued, her expression still soft, but somewhat more series.

"If I may be forward, Commander?"

"Of course," Caitlyn wanted to add, 'more forward that you've already been?' But said nothing more.

Maddie continued staring at Caitlyn in the mirror, and lifting her chin slightly said.

"What… what do you see when you look at yourself?"

Caitlyn wasn't sure what to say, her mind still on her dreams and the day's earlier events, so she simply shrugged as she stared at herself in the mirror. Maddie then spoke up:

"I see someone, who could have chosen the most luxurious, easy, and safe life possible. Someone who could have travelled afar, and lived among other elites, but chose not to. Someone who could look down on anyone in the city, but never did."

It was clearly meant to be some kind of pep talk, Caitlyn surmised, but whether it was her tiredness, her stress, she just didn't feel the desire to argue, feeling she should just let Maddie get her feelings out of her system before returning to bed.

"I see someone who chose to be an Enforcer. Someone who would be dealing with the worst of the worst. Someone who would be hated by low life and criminals, and looked down upon by elites who thought they were above the law. And I think I know, I've always known, why."

As Maddie finished, she gently reached around with her hand and placed it softly on Caitlyn's upper back. Caitlyn didn't feel as uncomfortable as she thought she would, so she said and did nothing. Maddie continued talking, and Caitlyn could feel Maddie's voice become more emotional as she spoke, making Caitlyn turn to her, only to have Maddie gesture for her to continue looking forward. Caitlyn reluctantly did so, and continued looking at Maddie only through the mirror as she continued.

"It's because you care, Commander. You've always cared, more than anyone else ever did."

Caitlyn felt her face warm with embarrassment, suddenly wanting to be anywhere but where she was. But she somehow felt soothed as the hand Maddie placed on her back began moving in slow circular patterns. Caitlyn should have said something, should have shrugged her hand away, or said it was inappropriate, but… she didn't. It felt, good, to feel that contact. As Caitlyn look notice, Maddie continued again:

"I've never seen anyone, who had so much, want to put themselves in a position where they would be so at risk when helping others. You could have easily made donations to the police precinct, and received adulation without any risk for harm. But you never did that. And why?"

Caitlyn wanted to say something, but felt the need to remain silent.

"It's because you want to make sure that the people that need to be helped, are helped. And you know the only way to to know they are being helped, is to do it yourself. That's why you led the strike team, not just because you wanted to get Jinx, but because you didn't want to endanger anyone else. You wanted to take the weight of all the burden, the danger, and place it on your own shoulders. And not for glory, not for ego, but because you care. And… and that's why I was angry earlier, and did what I did?"

"Joining Ambessa's Noxians with their chant?" Caitlyn said slowly, still confused.

"Yes." Maddie's voice became more emotional, but managed to make her voice both strong and gentle as she spoke:

"All I ever see, is you pushing yourself to help others. Ignoring those in the public, and even other Enforcers, who'd mock or belittle you, calling you a princess who wanted to pretend to be a hero. And I can tell you could see it. And hear it. You try so hard to hide it, but I can see that hurt. That pain in your eyes. It flashes only briefly, but it's there. And you, so committed to duty, so above their hate, ignore it, and push on." Maddie's voice raised toward the end, but she composed herself, and continued.

"They all hated you. They belittled you. Because they knew the truth. That you were better than them. Not because of your title. Or your wealth. But because —" Maddie pointed to her own chest, to her heart.

"—but because of this."

Caitlyn, too late, felt something on her face, and looking from Maddie to her own reflection, saw a tear stream down her face. Why was she crying? But before she could reach to wipe it, Madde turned and, with her right hand, she wiped it from her prominent cheekbone. Rather than look at her admonishingly at the violation of her personal space, she just found it hard to be angry with her. She instead looked down at her hands, folded on her lap. Maddie then reached with her right hand, and with her finger, gently placed them under Caitlyn's chin, and raised her head up so that she was looking at the mirror again. Maddie looked to the mirror as well, and then took a breath before saying:

"That's why I thumped my chest. I remembered every childish insult, every effort by Marcus and others to tear you down, and in that moment, when Ambessa called your name, I, all of us, just felt so happy. Happy for you. You were finally being recognized. Given the respect you deserved for so long. Because in that moment, someone, someone important, saw in you what we all did. A leader. A leader with a good heart. A leader who's the best of us. A leader who'd worked selflessly, and without any praise, to help others. Someone… who was the reason I chose to become an Enforcer."

Caitlyn's eyes stung, as she put her head down again, unaccustomed to praise from anyone in the Enforcer core. Or from anyone, for that matter. She tried to remember if she had any real friends among the Enforcers when she joined, and realized she had none. No one wanted anything to do with her. They only talked to her out of politeness, or out of fear that she would report them to her parents, which she would never have done. She'd only known mockery, whether abusive or childish. And she'd gotten… used to it. She kept her head down, only to have Maddie again raise it up with her fingers. Maddie then continued.

"So when I started beating my chest, it was like every thump, was Marcus, or some other twat, having their snide remarks and comments drowned out. It was like every thump was all of us, the ones who know how amazing you are, raising our voices and stamping out all of theirs. I guess you could say, it was cathartic. Oh, pardon my language for the word 'twat'" She finished with a half smile that caused Caitlyn just barely contain an amused smile.

"You're a good person. You're a great person. And we'd follow you to the undercity and back, and fight the whole lot of the Noxian army if you asked us to, you know that, don't you?"

Caitlyn tried to nod, but instead felt a sob escape from her. A happy sob. She stared at her own reflection, feeling ashamed at herself for being so… emotional. Was she really that desperate for kind words that hearing them would bring her tears? She looked down for a moment, only for Maddie's fingers to gently tilt her chin up again. Caitlyn stared at herself, and took a breath after swallowing to compose herself again. Maddie, meanwhile, had a soft smile on her face, staring at Caitlyn in the mirror:

"I… I know it's not my place to speak on it, but I know something happened in that tunnel. Something that made Vi leave. And that it hurt you."

Caitlyn felt a hitch in her breath, realizing it was only a matter of time before those closest to her would ask about Vi. She looked down at the mention of Vi's name, to avoid looking at her reflection. But Maddie's fingers once again lifted her chin up to look at the mirror. She knew the look on her own face. It was a look of sadness, of shame. Maddie continued:

"You're a good person. Both of you are. Whatever happened, I'm sure you both had your reasons, and you both wish things could be different. And in time, maybe things will change, and maybe they wont. "

It felt as though Caitlyn's heart turned into a lead weight in that moment. The shame. The grief. The constant replaying of those final moment. She again felt her eyes sting. Caitlyn looked at Maddie's reflection as she spoke, and this time, Maddie's expression seemed more serious, almost angry as she fixed her with a surprisingly intense glare, taking a breath before saying:

"But… but don't you ever think you're a bad person, Commander. Don't you ever think you deserve even a fraction of the pain and loss you've had to face. I never knew your mother. But I know she was an incredible person. And do you know why?"

Caitlyn continued staring at the mirror, her stony expression on the verge of breaking at the mention of her mother as Maddie continued.

"It wasn't because of her wealth. Or her power. Or the fact that she was on the council. It was because… it was because she gave all of us… you."

Caitlyn continued to hold her composure. Just barely.

" So don't you ever feel that you're a bad person, and that you don't deserve to be loved. Or that you don't deserve to be happy. You deserve so much more than you've been given. And the fact that keep fighting for this city, for us, despite how much it, and so many people in, it mistreat you, it says everything about who you are. You're an amazing person, Commander. Don't you ever let us catch you thinking otherwise, do you hear me?"

Maddie had spoken with an uncharacteristic hardness to her voice. Not harsh, but just, strong. Caitlyn put her head down, trying to cover her short laugh at Maddie basically threatening her to not be down on herself. She then looked down at her hands, and saw the drops from her tears falling on her hands and lap. That wall she'd set up to contain all her anguish, her grief, her anger, and sadness… it broke. She felt her body wrack from her barely restrained sobs as she tried to keep her jaw clenched. But she eventually loosed her jaw and let out a breath, relaxing as Maddie's hand began to rub her back softly. It took a while for the sniffling to stop. She took a few calming breaths. On one hand, she felt angry and embarrassed at the unwanted release of emotion, the break in her composure, especially in the presence of the young Enforcer. But she didn't see Maddie as the type to gossip about something like that to the others. And truthfully, she felt she needed to cry. She wished it could have been in different company, but it was needed. She wanted to turn to Maddie, but instead, raised her head to look at them, and then at her, in the mirror. Maddie didn't look concerned, or embarrassed by Caitlyn's emotional release, thankfully. Maddie instead looked at her with the most warm smile she'd ever seen. It caused Caitlyn to smile. It was a faint smile, she could see it in the mirror. The first one she'd felt in… she didn't know how long. She then let it fade, back to her more stoic expression as she took a breath to compose herself. Maddie's expression then turned more serious, as she looked down for a moment, looking worried, before looking up in the mirror again, at both of them.

"I, I understand if what happens next… upsets you, Commander. But I've never been good at not following what I feel inside of me. But I need to say this. To do this. And I hope you'll understand."

Caitlyn was taken aback by the seriousness of the young Enforcer's tone, and said nothing, waiting for her to continue.

"You're in pain. I know that. You're such a good person. And you're in pain. And… and I want to make it better. I… I think I know how to make it better. Or would least like to try. If you'll trust me?"

The sincerity, warmth and conviction of Maddie's voice caused her to nod once to the mirror on impulse, trusting that Maddie was no doubt going to say something else to somehow top what she already said. Caitlyn wasn't the type who sought praise, but after what had happened the last few days, she found Maddie's words seemed to lighten the weight she'd been feeling.

Maddie smiled and nodded back, and then looked down and took a breath. She then looked up at them in the mirror, and smiled again. That bubbly smile. Caitlyn could only stare, almost transfixed, as Maddie reached across and placed her right hand gently onto the left side of Caitlyn's face, and gently pulled her towards her. Caitlyn felt startled, but assumed Maddie was going to hug her. Maddie then turned from the mirror toward Caitlyn. Caitlyn continued staring at the mirror, with Maddie's hand on her face, as it pulled her closer, Maddie then leaned up, and touched her nose to Caitlyn's cheek. Caitlyn tried not to flinch as she felt the warmth of Maddie's breath as she breathed out. Maddie then hesitated, before she tilted her head and placed the softest of kisses against the taller woman's cheek. Caitlyn's eyes opened and she gasped softly, but not as pronounced as she thought she would. Caitlyn continued watching as Maddie then smiled the softest of smiles as she placed another peck on her cheek, this time lower. Caitlyn wanted to say something. Or thought she should say something about the inappropriateness of such contact between Enforcers…. But she couldn't. Or was it, that she didn't want to? The kisses were so soft. It was as though Maddie was afraid of breaking her. She was so gentle in touching her. And Caitlyn found herself searching through her memories, and not remembering any time when she was ever treated like that.

As Caitlyn watched the scene unfold in front of her, Maddie began gently rubbing her other cheek with her thumb, while she placed a third kiss just under her jaw, causing her to feel a tickling sensation. The young Enforcer then stopped, and brought her hand to just under Caitlyn's chin using the back of her fingers to gently massage the underside of Caitlyn's jaw, just barely grazing her soft skin, but doing so in a way that Caitlyn didn't find unpleasant. Maddie then turned to look at the mirror, and at her. She let out a sigh, and before saying in a tone that was so friendly. So kind:

"Please. Just for once, don't be angry with yourself. And let me try to make you feel better. Just let me try to make you feel the way you make all of us, especially me, feel, whenever you're around. Okay?"

Caitlyn swallowed and slowly nodded. Forgetting the turmoil from earlier in the day, she knew, as much as she tried to deny it, that there was a part of her that wanted, needed to be held. To be touched. To feel like she wasn't the only living thing in her world. She continued staring at the mirror as Maddie smiled in response and turned back to her. Caitlyn smiled, as Maddie resumed what she was doing. Maddie softly caressed Caitlyn's other cheek in her hand, before letting it drift lower to her jaw. Then, she brought her face to Caitlyn's cheek again, this time nuzzling her cheek with her nose, before gently kissing Caitlyn's jaw, and then kissing the soft skin on her neck. Caitlyn let out a breath, trying to keep her gaze on the mirror. Maddie's soft kisses went to the base of her neck before they stopped. Maddie then turned to the mirror and gave Caitlyn a shy but warm smile. She then leaned back and stood up, and took one of Caitlyn's hands.

"Please Commander, follow me."

Caitlyn felt like she wanted just remain seated at the vanity desk, but decided to trust Maddie. Smiling up at her, she got up and followed Maddie by the hand. They walked to an open area between the vanity desk and bed. Maddie walked them closer to the bed, until they were at the foot of it, before turning so that she was facing Caitlyn. She stood within arm's reach, and looked up with a soft smile. Caitlyn stood motionless, and glanced at a mirror at the far wall, so she could take in the strange sight.

Caitlyn was in her dark blue nightgown, with her matching blue robe over it, and tied loosely by a sash. Her long dark blue hair fell past her shoulders. She felt a strange sense of exposure, as under her nightgown and robe, she was otherwise naked. Maddie, she was, was a contrast in so many ways. While Caitlyn's skin was almost porcelain white, Maddie's was a more pinkish shade, with freckles that in no way diminished the attractiveness of her lithe figure. And apart from her bra and panties, she had only her loosely fitting white shirt, which had its sleeves rolled half way up her forearms, and the top few buttons undone. Very… casual, that was the only word Caitlyn came up with. The only other notable difference, was that Caitlyn was at least half a foot taller than the young Enforcer.

Caitlyn then turned to the young Enforcer who, after having let go of her hand, brought both hands up and softly cupped Caitlyn's cheeks in them. Caitlyn gasped softly, but not in a way that she was uncomfortable. She tried to smile down at the young Enforcer as the enforcers used her thumbs to gently massage her cheeks. Maddie then looked up at her, her face surprisingly serious as she said:

"You really don't know, do you, Commander?"

After an awkward moment of silence, the young Enforcer then answered her own question before Caitlyn could ask what she didn't know:

"… how beautiful you are." Maddie said in a hushed voice, as if afraid someone would hear, despite their solitude in her bedroom.

Caitlyn felt her whole face warm, embarrassed at how the plucky young woman's words were spoken so softly, so tenderly, but the tone carrying just enough firmness to show its conviction. Caitlyn was always seen as a misfit by others growing up. She couldn't remember anyone from her childhood ever complimenting her on her appearance, only her clothing or other material items.

For a moment, Caitlyn's mind flashed back to the brothel, when Vi had backed her against the wall, saying "you're hot, cupcake". Caitlyn remembered how the way Vi said it, the look on her face, made her body warm in a way she hadn't expected. She then thought of the more innocent words used by Maddie by contrast. In truth, she liked the plainness of Vi's words more. The almost casual way she said it. But Vi was… Caitlyn felt her eyes sting from the tears, but before she could wipe them, Maddie had adjusted the position of her hands, so that she could wipe both tears with her thumbs. She whispered softly again how Caitlyn had no idea she was so beautiful, and then, tilting her head, reached up and kissed her, ever so softly, on her lips, causing Caitlyn to close her eyes, rather than open them in surprise, accepting the kiss. She felt her heart lighten, hearing a short chuckle from Maddie before opening her eyes to see her beaming smile. Maddie then leaned forward and kissed her on the lips again, this time at a slightly different angle. Caitlyn sighed as she smiled. Feeling both happy, and guilty, at the affection a part of her felt she didn't deserve. And also feeling oddly exposed, as she glanced again at the mirror near the far window, which showed her, in her dark blue silk nightgown, being kissed by the shorter woman appearing to wear nothing but her rumpled white shirt.

She then watched, as Maddie leaned forward and kissed her again, this time on her lower lip, and then on her chin. She then tilted her head, and began kissing her neck again, causing Caitlyn to close her eyes and turn away, as if subconsciously trying to make it easier for Maddie to kiss her there. As Maddie's kisses got lower, she removed her hands from Caitlyn's face, and placed them on her shoulders. Caitlyn felt odd just standing there with her arms at her sides, trying to stand straight while Maddie was… doing what she was doing. Caitlyn felt herself gasp as Maddie placed a soft kiss just at the base of her neck, near her clavicle. But before she could say anything Maddie pulled back, and stared up at her with that same bubble, almost pleading smile. Maddie then said softly:

"It's okay, Commander, just… just trust me, please," Caitlyn felt her anxiety rise, but she managed to contain it, as she nodded and tried to smile as she looked down at Maddie. She also wasn't sure how she felt about Maddie continuing to call her Commander, while they were having this…. Moment, a moment Caitlyn still couldn't believe was happening. And a part of, her didn't want it to end.

Maddie then nodded, and brought her hands to Caitlyn's neck. She rested her warm palms on either side, and gently massaged them, before lowering them and spreading them either way, towards, her shoulders. As she did so, she gently grabbed the taller woman's robe, and pulled it down from her shoulders, letting it drop, so that the only thing Caitlyn was wearing was her nightgown. Caitlyn's eyes widened as she looked at either shoulder, now bare, and then down at the floor, where Maddie had let the robes fall into a blue bundle around her. Maddie then looked up at Caitlyn and smiled, before leaning closer and gently planting a kiss on each shoulder, causing Caitlyn to shiver, feeling both pleasure and uncertainty at the reasons behind why her body was so… accepting of Maddie's touch. She was now in just her nightgown, which went down halfway her upper legs. She felt so vulnerable and exposed, but… not in a bad way, as hard as that was to explain. Maddie then once again cupped her face in her hands, gently kissing her lips once more, before letting go and then placing her hands on her shoulders, this time, slipping her thumbs under the shoulder straps of her nightgown. Maddie looked at her with an encouraging smile, and gently slipped them off either shoulder, letting the silk material glide off Caitlyn's breasts to the floor, exposing them fully. Caitlyn felt like she was having an out of body experience, watching from one of the mirror as she was slowly, but gently, being stripped of her nightgown and robe between tender kisses. Caitlyn watched as Maddie's eyes opened, and her smile became almost shy. She looked up at Caitlyn again, who was now in nothing but her dark blue panties. Caitlyn felt her face redden, and knew she had to be blushing. But as if noticing what was going through her mind, Maddie spoke up while she cupped her face in her hands again, gently stroking her cheeks with her thumbs as she cooed softly:

"You have nothing to be embarrassed about, Commander. You… you're so beautiful. More beautiful than you know." Maddie smiled as she said it, and after planting another gentle kiss on Caitlyn's lips, she let go and looked down at herself. It caused Caitlyn to frown in confusion as the young Enforcer looked up at her with a shy smile. She then put her hands to her shirt, and unbuttoned it, letting it fall to the floor behind her. Caitlyn felt herself blush as the young Enforcer then wordlessly removed her bra and panties. Her body was slim and athletic, its slightly pink hue dotted with freckles, but not in a way that made it look attractive. The young Enforcer, after removing her panties, looked up at Caitlyn, and then down at herself. And it looked like, for the moment, she looked shy and almost embarrassed. Fearing the young Enforcer was embarrassed, or ashamed of her appearance, Caitlyn said in what she hoped was a reassuring voice:

"You're quite beautiful yourself, Maddie".

At hearing that, the young Enforcer's eyes opened, and looking like her eyes were getting misty, she let out a short giggle and sighed, before stepping forward and wrapping her arms around the taller woman, startling her only momentarily. Caitlyn didn't feel as shocked as she thought she would, at the younger woman's naked body pressing against hers, their breasts rubbing together. She craned her head down, seeing only the orange bob of hair just touching her chin. She could feel her breathing, and after a moment, it seemed to such with Caitlyn's. They just stood there for a moment, and Caitlyn watched the mirror again, seeing the shorter freckled girl with an orange mop of hair wrapping her in a bear hug. It was so awkward and yet, because of the young girl's demeanour, it felt so wholesome at the same time. After a moment, the young girl let go and took a step back, her hands on Caitlyn's shoulders, as she said:

"Thank you, Commander. That means so much, coming from someone as beautiful, and incredible as yourself."

Caitlyn felt an embarrassed smile briefly cross her face. Before she could think of anything to say, Maddie removed her hands from Caitlyn's shoulders, and placed them just above her chest, letting them rest, before slowly letting them drop to her breasts. Caitlyn gasped slightly, looking away for a moment, as if unsure again what she was allowing to happen. Maddie then softly massaged her full breasts, letting her thumbs draw soft circle on both her areola before going lower and gently cupping them. The whole time, she was looking up at Caitlyn with an almost sheepish smile, making the taller woman feel embarrassed, but not in a way that fostered anger. After slowly letting them go, and watching her firm breasts gently bounce once, Maddie then took Caitlyn by the hand and said softly:

"Follow me, Commander, please."

Caitlyn felt her heartbeat quicken, as she realized Maddie was leading her back to her bed. Maddie then pulled the sheets away, so that the soft bed surface was unobstructed. Maddie then turned to her, while still holding Caitlyn's in the other, and motioned with her head for her to sit. As Caitlyn did so, her mind in so many places in that moment, Maddie took the hand she held, and brought it to her face, gently kissing it, causing Caitlyn to redden at the simple act of affection. Caitlyn then sat on her bed, and watched as Maddie crouched down and held both hands, still smiling with that look of awe that she found made her feel so loved and uncomfortable at the same time. Maddie then took a breath and said in a soft voice:

"You still don't know, do you?"

Caitlyn frowned in intrigued, wondering what the young Enforcer was getting at.

"What we all think of you, Commander." She said, as if stating the obvious.

Caitlyn felt her breath hitch. What was it about hearing that praise. She never wanted it. She wasn't the type who wanted to adored and fawned on. But with everything that happened, it just felt… good, to hear it. To hear someone give it so freely. And mean it. In that moment, Maddie cupped Caitlyn's face in her hands, and again gave her a kiss that, while deeper, was still as careful and gentle as the others. Maddie then gave her two more, each softer than the last, before placing her hands on Caitlyn's bare thighs. Maddie then looked down as she said:

"I always hated the uniforms they made us wear. I thought the mini skirts were demeaning and awful to look at. And they were —" Maddie hesitated, looking off to the side before looking up at Caitlyn and continuing.

"— except when you wore them." Caitlyn breathed out slowly, feeling her face warm again. She then shuddered when Maddie leaned down, and gently planted soft kisses on each of her thighs. She then looked up and brought her right hand to Caitlyn's face, gently cupping her left cheek and stroking it with her thumb as she said:

"Let's get you to sleep, Commander," she smiled as she finished.

Caitlyn was going to turn to lie back after a moment of hesitation as Maddie got up and turned off all then lights except for the one next to the bed. Caitlyn watched as the shorter girl stood over her, her face a bubbly but more serene smile. Caitlyn let her eyes travel down her body, and couldn't help but marvel at how the girls' freckles seemed to accentuate, rather than hinder, her attractiveness. As Caitlyn lay back, Maddie sat next to her, and turned do that she was near her hips. She then positioned herself so that she was sitting on her legs, just next to her. She then whispered in a smile.

"Just one more thing, Commander,"

And with that, Maddie reached across Caitlyn's flat toned stomach to the other side, and slipped her slender fingers under her panties. She did the same thing on the near side. Caitlyn propped herself up on her elbows, looking down with a questioning look, but saying nothing. Maddie's kind face was so disarming, as she said:

"It's okay, Commander. I'll take care of you, I promise," she whispered in a tone that sounded neither patronizing or awkward.

Caitlyn slowing lower herself onto her back as Maddie gently pulled down her panties, their soft material and her soft skin letting it glide off with no friction. Caitlyn lay back, feeling her head against the pillow, and feeling cold, as she was now, completely nude. Before she could think of saying anything, Maddie turned to the bedside table, and turned off the lamp, leaving the room awash the dark blue of the night. Caitlyn then watched, as Maddie turned to her, still sitting up, and reached down with her right hand, again cupping Caitlyn's left cheek, and gently stroked it, saying softly:

"Your skin is so soft. I really enjoy touching you."

Caitlyn could feel her face warm. It was a sharp contrast to the cold she felt across her body. As she thought that, Maddie lay down on her right side, and slowly brought her arm across to Caitlyn's left shoulder, wrapping her in a warm embrace, sighing as she did so. She settled herself so that Caitlyn was lying on her back, her head on a pillow, and Maddie was nestled against the right side of her body, her legs loosely covering part of Caitlyn's long outstretched legs. Maddie had tucked her head just under Caitlyn's jaw, so that her breath could be felt against Caitlyn's neck. Caitlyn felt the warmth grow closer, as she felt the wetness of Maddie's lips against her neck, pecking softly against her delicate skin. On reflex, Caitlyn brought her left arm over, and wrapped it around the young Enforcer. It felt so strange. It felt like Caitlyn was looking down at herself from a third person's view, and she was still processing the image.

She was lying on her back, naked, and Maddie, also naked, was curled up next to her side, her left arm having been slid underneath her, so that she was wrapped around her so closely, Caitlyn could feel the young Enforcer's breathing against hers. She could feel her body warming hers. As she was having those thoughts, she felt another kiss on her chin, and she turned to see Maddie's happy face, almost silhouetted in the moonlight, as she craned her neck up, and gave Caitlyn a kiss on her lips. It was so soft. Caitlyn found herself smiling in spite of herself. Maddie then repositioned herself so that she was atop Caitlyn, straddling her. Maddie smiled down at Caitlyn, and leaned forward and cupped her face in her hands as she said:

"I Love you Commander. I mean, I — I'm in love with you. I think I always have been."

Caitlyn felt herself stiffen, suddenly thinking about the weight of all the implications of that word, But before she could say anything, she felt Maddie's thumbs gently massaging her cheeks to calm her. It seemed to work. Caitlyn looked up at Maddie, and Maddie gave an almost sad smile as she said:

"It's okay, Commander. You don't have to— I mean, I know you don't feel the same way back. And that's okay, really." She said in an assuring voice.

Caitlyn frowned in confusion, as the only sound to be heard, was the sound of rain against the roof and windows. She then looked at Maddie questioningly, as she said in an uncertain tone:

"It's… okay?" Maddie smiled back softly.

"Yes, Commander. I— I love you. I love you because you're the person who cares more than anyone else I know. The person who always does the right thing, even if it doesn't benefit her. The person who's always thinking of others, instead of themselves. You deserve to be happy, more than anyone I know. And right now, I know you're in pain. I can see it. I saw it after you came back from the sewers."

Caitlyn felt a pain in her heart again at the mention of the sewers, but said nothing.

"I think I know where your heart lies. And I think you'll find your happiness again. But I know that will take time. And I don't know how long that will take. But until it happens, please—"

Caitlyn felt a lump in her throat which she tried to swallow away.

"—let me make you happy for now. For as long as you need. You're not taking advantage of me. You're giving me the privilege of being happy. By letting me try to make you happy."

Maddie then gave a reassuring smile as she said in a soft voice:

"It's okay to think about Vi. Even now. Especially now. Please, Commander. Don't feel you don't have the right to think about her. You love her. I can tell. And love is stronger than a lot of people think. Think about her, and let me worry about taking care of you, alright?"

It was too much. The mention of the sewers. The recognition that she knew where Caitlyn's heart was. Actually encouraging her to think of Vi while she was there. The selflessness of declaring a love that she knew could never be reciprocated. Caitlyn never felt so loved, and so unworthy, at the same time. She felt tears on her face again. Only this time, rather than wipe it away, Maddie leaned forward, and gently kissed her cheeks, kissing away her tears. Kissing away her pain. Maddie, inches from Caitlyn's face, asked in a soft voice:

"Is that better, Commander?"

"Y— (sniff) yes, thank you. And Maddie?"

"Yes, Commander?"

"Ahem, uh, well, there is one thing you can do for me, while here?"

Maddie's expression turned to one of eagerness.

"Please… call me Caitlyn, it's less, uh, formal."

Maddie's face seemed to glow in the room whose only source of light was the night sky coming in through the windows. She nodded once, and then planted a gentle kiss on Caitlyn's lips again. She then placed gentle kisses on her cheeks and chin before sliding her body down, as she began kissing her delicate neck. Caitlyn wrapped her arms around Maddie as she gently nuzzled her breasts before raising her head and giving each a wave of soft kisses. As she kissed her way to the areola, she began using her tongue, and gently licked Caitlyn's nipples, eliciting a gasp. Maddie then put her lips over her nipple, gently kissing and sucking on one, while using her hand to massage and caress the other. Caitlyn began to breath more heavily, as Maddie had found a way to increase the potency of her kisses and touches without sacrificing her gentleness. Caitlyn then heart Maddie whisper between kisses:

"You're so beautiful, Caitlyn. I still ca't believe you beautiful you really are."

Caitlyn was relieved the room was dark, because she could feel the warmth in her face. She said nothing, but gently put a hand on the back of Maddie's head, gently stroking the mop of hair. Caitlyn heard Maddie give a happy sigh, or maybe it was a giggle, upon feeling her touch, and it seemed to amplify her affectionate touches. And as she did so, Caitlyn could feel her body begin to involuntarily flinch with each kiss and touch, but not in a painful or unpleasant way.

Caitlyn's breath became more haggard as Maddie's kisses took her past her toned stomach, leaving a trailed of kisses, some of them touching her waist, causing Caitlyn to flinch before relaxing. Maddie's fingers also lightly traced lines behind those kisses. And Caitlyn closed her eyes for a moment, trying to centre her kisses went to her hips, and Caitlyn felt herself have to bit her lower lip, as the kisses travelled down her navel. She then felt Maddie push her self down away from her, and then gently, but firmly, push her knees apart, and lifted her legs, placing each one over her shoulder. Caitlyn took a deep breath as she felt Maddie's warm breath on her shaven sex, moments before she felt her wet lips touch it, leaving the softest of kisses. Maddie lingered there, softly kissing her, and then using her tongue to gently lick her opening, before leaving one last kiss. Caitlyn then felt her heartbeat relax somewhat, as Maddie's kisses then travelled down her inner thigh to her knee. As that happened, Maddie let one let let fall from her shoulder's gently onto the bed, while she devoted her attention to the other. She continued leaving soft kisses, softly licking her calves before kissing them, and caressing them afterwards with her slender fingers. Once she reached Caitlyn's feet, after gently massaging and kissing her soles, and laughing lightly as Caitlyn squirmed, she copied what she did to her other let, and then kissed her way back to Caitlyn's midsection. The whole while, Caitlyn had been trying to take controlled breaths through her mouth, and barely being able to keep from crying out in pleasure. She let out whimpers and gasps as the kisses continued their trek up her body.

Caitlyn felt herself push her head back into her pillow and stare up at the darkened ceiling. As she did so, Maddie's trail of kisses travelled back up to her neck before stopping. Caitlyn, after a moment, felt her heartbeat steady again, as she could feel perspiration on her forehead and neck, and knew that she was probably sweating everywhere. She tilted her head to look at what Maddie was doing, and saw that she had turned to grab the bed covers. She bent over, so that the cover went over her back, and then slit forward onto Caitlyn, sliding so that her face was tucked under Caitlyn's chin. Caitlyn felt her body shiver with the touch of Maddie's lips against her neck. Maddie, atop her, then slid her arms around her waist, so that she was hugging Caitlyn closely. Tight enough to be snug, but not tight enough to be uncomfortable.

Caitlyn felt her face warm, as she could hear Maddie again repeat how beautiful she was, and how she was the most amazing person in the world. Caitlyn at one point felt her eyes warm, but it wasn't out of sorrow. Still, she was able to contain herself, and smiled at the young Enforcer's words and soft touches.

As Caitlyn tucked her chin to look down at the orange mop of hair, Maddie raised her head, her face an expression of contentment, which caused Caitlyn to smile back. Maddie then leaned forward and gave her a softer, but longer kiss on the lips. This time, Caitlyn found herself returning the kiss, and feeling a sense of satisfaction at feeling Maddie shudder in pleasure as she gave a contented sight. After the kiss, Maddie then said before again tucking her head into Caitlyn's neck:

"Goodnight, Caitlyn."

"Goodnight, Maddie," Caitlyn said in a soft voice that carried as much kindness as she could muster.

Caitlyn sighed, feeling better than she felt in a long time. She thought back to some of what the now sleeping Maddie said earlier. About what she meant to them. What she meant to her. How she loved her, but accepted that she knew her heart was with Vi. Telling her that there was still hope. Telling her that she was a good person. And that she deserved to be happy. Suddenly, accepting Ambessa's appointment didn't feel as troubling to her as it did at first. Because she DID have people who supported her. Who believed in her. She wasn't alone. She was never alone. And if she could make amends with Vi… she would find her. She would tell her she was sorry. And she would give her as much time, and as much room, as she needed. But until then…

Caitlyn took a long sigh, and looked down at the sleeping Enforcer nestled in her arms. She was so grateful to Maddie for everything she said. And everything she did. A few hours ago, she felt like she was alone in the world. But now… she felt like she wasn't alone. She had people who supported her. Who loved her. And she would do everything she could, to earn, and keep that love.

Caitlyn slowly closed her eyes, feeling less awkward, and more at peace, with the young woman whose nude body was snuggled against her own. As she drifted off to sleep, she did so with a renewed sense of purpose. She was ready. Ready to face everything tomorrow, and the day after it, would bring.

Because she was not alone.