A/N I have been wanting to post this for a while. *evil cackling*

Chapter 14

Mother

Sakura hummed, content. The summer night was fine, fireflies hung lazily around the garden and the dirt was warm beneath her bare feet where they hung off the edge of the engawa. Kakashi-kun had passed out hard after a long day of training, his head in her lap and his little pug curled up in his arms. One hand sifted gently through his hair, the other splayed out beside her.

"When does he get his next ninken?"

"Hm…" Kakashi let out a long breath. His hand slid along the smooth wooden planks, fingers brushing hers as he leaned slightly closer. If she tipped her head to the right, she could rest it on his shoulder. Would he pull away if she did? "He'll get Bull and Shiba both the day after his birthday." Movement caught her eye and she glanced over to see his other hand scratching Senbei's head where he snored softly on his other side. "Urushi on the last day of November. Bisuke and Akino on White day, Ūhei on May twenty-seventh and Guruko on July second."

She looked up at him, finding him smiling sadly out at the garden. "Do you think us being here will change any of that?"

His eyes slid to hers. "I don't know. He might not feel the need to rush into forming a whole pack with so much human family. I was… lonely. Every one of my ninken filled part of the emptiness my father left behind. I spent every second of free time training them, and they stayed with me almost every night. He doesn't need them to get him through like I did."

Everything he shared about his childhood broke her heart. Even collecting his ninken. She looked down at the sleeping boy in her lap and thanked that strange alien bitch for sending them to him. Deciding just to go for it, for emotional support, not anything romantic, she rested her head on his shoulder. She felt him stiffen briefly before letting out another long breath and relaxing.

"Do you think you want a whole pack again?"

His cheek laid atop her head and she heard him inhale deeply. "I don't know. The bond I have with them, with Senbei, satisfies something I can't explain, something innate. But I don't feel the same desperate need for them like I did back then." His voice was a gruff whisper. "I'm not alone anymore."

She suppressed a shiver—his words, rasped out against her temple, a secret prayer of thanksgiving to whichever gods had finally seen fit to bless him.

Sakura wanted to do something reckless. She wanted to shift just so, to reach up and trace her fingers along his jaw and guide his lips down to hers. The moment felt perfect, exactly like a scene from one of his trashy smut books that she had definitely never read. His hand picked up and covered hers, his thumb brushing across the back of her wrist.

Did he feel it too, this tension? If she looked up into his eyes, would she see her desire reflected there?

Now, do it now!

Somewhere in the house behind them, a door slammed closed, and then opened again, angry shouting disturbing the evening peace. Cool air rushed where Kakashi had been as he jerked away from her, twisting towards the sound.

Banishing the irritation at having their moment interrupted, she strained to listen. Sakumo had come home, but he wasn't alone. A woman's voice, angry and needling and, somehow familiar, reached their ears.

"I don't understand why you're doing this. Hiruzen says I should have a say, so explain it to me. Help me understand why you're holding him back!"

Sakumo growled. "Kakashi isn't your son. Not anymore. He's mine." Kakashi swung back around to look at her, his eyes wide beneath a frown, his entire body rigid. "You gave up any right to any 'say' when you gave him to me. Or have you forgotten?"

Sakura whispered to an increasingly panicked looking Kakashi. "Who is your mother?"

His shrug was jerky. "Dead… she's dead."

Oh gods. Had Sakumo lied to his son about something so important?

"I haven't forgotten, but Hiruzen said—"

"I don't give a fuck what Hiruzen says. You have no say how my son is raised. And neither does that old bastard."

"Sakumo! What's wrong with you? He is your Hokage."

"Well he would have been happy to let me die to spare himself, or haven't you heard? You have been gone for over a year."

The mystery woman grumbled in anger. Why was her voice familiar? "Does it have anything to do with this foreign bitch teaching my son healing jutsu and your "cousin" from Lightning?"

Something crashed and Kakashi twitched, her hand clasping around his. "Kakashi is not your son, and my family is none of your concern, woman."

She figured she should be feeling dread. Whomever it was was definitely talking about them. They did not want to be found out. They had gone to great lengths to avoid the Hokage's scrutiny so far.

But all she could focus on was what Sakumo had revealed and the increasingly confused devastation on Kakashi's face. Had he had a mother somewhere out there this whole time? Where had she been after Sakumo—

"I want to meet her. Whatever she's told you about knowing me is bullshit, Sakumo. They're probably both spies from Kumo, and you're a fool for trusting anyone so easily!"

Was this someone she knew? It almost sounded like… Surely not—

Before either of them could think of something to say, the voices stopped and suddenly Sakumo was stomping towards the door and joining them outside. He took a second to calm himself before looking down at his son. "He's asleep?"

Sakura nodded mutely.

"Good." He crossed to where they sat and crouched at her side, scooping his son and the still snoring pug into his arms. "Would you mind waiting up? I… have someone I would like you to meet. It's important."

She didn't know what to say but she knew there was no world where they could say no. "Uh… sure."

"I'll just go put him to bed. I'll be right back."

They waited in tense silence for him to return. Kakashi was so still she thought he might have stopped breathing. She could not imagine what he might be feeling. He'd said he thought his mother was dead. Now she was apparently here, alive, and maybe someone they knew.

She pulled his hand into her lap and reached for his face. "Kakashi—"

The engawa creaked with heavy steps behind her and she turned around with a gasp just in time to see Sakumo step out from his son's room and close the door behind himself. "Alright. Come with me."

Dread tugged at every one of her senses as she stood, pulling Kakashi to his feet. Senbei yawned at being disturbed, trailing along behind them on tired paws. Anxious, feeling how tense he was too, she did not let go of his hand. Just before they stepped inside, she turned into his side and tugged his mask back up for him and cupped his cheek. He was so distressed that he'd forgotten.

Swallowing hard, his eyes locked with hers and he leaned slightly into her touch. She felt him exhale and jerk his head once—I'm okay—before following her inside.

Her heart squeezed and flipped at who was waiting for them.

Tsunade.

Angry brown eyes assessed Sakura, glaring deeper when they landed on her seal. "Who the hell are you?"

Feeling Kakashi's hand grip hers painfully, Sakura could only stare at the other woman. She was… it was impossible. There was no way…

"I asked who the hell you are?" Tsunade stood and crossed the room but Sakura didn't flinch.

Instead, she tore her eyes away to look imploringly at Sakumo. "Is this… is this Kakashi's mother?"

He frowned, confused why she was asking but before he could answer, Tsunade scoffed. "I don't see how that's your business. Besides, whoever you are, you're clearly lying to Sakumo because I've never seen you be—"

"Answer her." Kakashi's voice was low, a harsh and broken sounding rasp Sakura had never heard from him before. She looked between him and the blonde woman in front of her, her heart in her throat.

Tsunade sighed, casting an annoyed glance back at Sakumo before nodding. "Sure. Technically. I was careless and that one," she jerked a thumb at Sakumo, "knocked me up." She shrugged. "I carried him, I gave birth to him, but I'm not his mother. Not really. I gave him to his father and never looked back. I'm… not suited to be anyone's mother." She crossed her arms, clearly believing the conversation was over.

Who was this flippant, seemingly unfeeling woman wearing Tsunade's face? How could she choose to abandon her own son? Even after his father had killed himself? Sakura felt like her world was spinning, like everything she knew about her mentor was a lie, but that was nothing compared to what was happening beside her. She felt Kakashi take a step back, and then another. Looking up at him, her heart broke.

In the almost six months they had been in the past, with few understandable exceptions, Kakashi had done as he always did when something bothered him. He kept it inside, wore a cool facade and pretended everything was fine. Losing his pack and his friends, facing ghosts every day they were in the past, he'd done an admirable job remaining stoic and aloof.

But this… This was too much, one ripped open wound too many. This wasn't just a shocking revelation, it was a betrayal.

And Kakashi was breaking.

Pivoting, Sakura put herself between him and Tsunade, cupping his face in her hands and forcing him to look at her. His breathing was shallow and too fast, his eyes were welling up. "Sakura…"

She wanted to toss Tsunade through the wall and beat her stupid for making him hurt like this. She had no idea what to say. She didn't know what Kakashi had always believed about his mother besides that she was dead, but finding out she was not only alive but so close his whole life—someone he considered a friend—was obviously devastating. Trying to banish the pity from her face, she spoke softly. "What do you need?"

His hands came up to hers, clutching them where they held his face. "I…" His eyes squeezed shut and he tried to take a deep breath. As her thumbs brushed across the top of his cheeks, he blinked at her. He glanced over her head at the two other people in the room with a jumpy, anxious frown before meeting her eyes again. She understood. Please take care of this for me. I don't think I can.

Nodding, she gently disentangled their hands and directed his attention down to Senbei. "I think he needs a walk. I'll explain our… situation."

Even through the mask, she could see his jaw tick but he nodded once, squeezing her hand one last time before ushering Senbei outside and disappearing.

Expelling a harsh breath, she drew herself up and turned around. Tsunade looked somewhere between angry and confused but Sakumo… Sakumo looked gutted.

Where to start?

There was sake on the table. She would start there. Stepping around Tsunade, she slipped into the nearest zaisu and poured herself a drink. Then she poured one for Tsunade. "Here."

The blonde woman only hesitated a moment before sinking down beside her and throwing back the drink. "Explain, now. Or I'll make you, and in case you don't know exactly who I am, I'm a lot stronger than I look."

Sakura might have laughed if she wasn't so upset. "So am I."

That only deepened the frown on Tsunade's face. She opened her mouth to say something but Sakumo beat her to it.

"You're from the future."

Tsunade scoffed, but Sakura dropped her head, staring down at her hands. "Yes. Twenty-five years."

"How is that possible?" Tsunade was looking between them like they had both announced it was raining dango and mochi. When Sakura merely shrugged, muttering that they weren't entirely sure, she gasped and looked out the open door Kakashi had disappeared through. "Then…"

"Karasu is… my son?" Sakumo's voice was low and cracked on the last word. Sakura felt a little bad for him. But then she remembered what he'd done to her Kakashi and that sympathy shriveled up.

"Yes."

Sakumo sat beside her, his face grave. "I knew it… He smells the same, and his chakra… But it was too insane to really consider… I thought I was crazy." Dark, shame-filled eyes met hers. "You weren't there to save me for him, were you?"

She shook her head.

"What do you mean? Save you from what?"

Sakura didn't look away from Sakumo, giving him a chance to speak. When he couldn't hold her gaze, dropping his eyes to the floor, she sighed and turned to Tsunade. "Sakumo tried to kill himself six months ago. In our timeline, he was successful." Tsunade gasped, but Sakura kept going, glaring hard at the other woman. "No one was there for him. He was only five. Before Sakumo's body was even cold in the ground, they graduated him early and then pushed him through the Chunin exam at six so he could be sent off to war. Because he survived and was a brilliant little genius despite everything, he was made a Jōnin at nine."

Tsunade scoffed, but there was little heat behind it. "I was almost as young when I graduated."

"I know, and it wasn't right then either. Hiruzen must've learned something between this war and my time, because I graduated at twelve and that's the youngest allowed. Just because you're a genius doesn't mean you should be fighting a war at six. Don't you see anything wrong with that?"

Neither of them had anything to say. "I know his sad childhood is hardly unique in our world, but it was brutal and it shouldn't have happened. It didn't need to happen. I understand not everyone is made to be a mother, but you chose to have him. You could have at least made sure he wasn't alone. His heart might have survived if he had had you, or anyone at all to come home to when his Genin team was slaughtered—one of whom he was forced to kill himself—or when he was put in ANBU at thirteen and stayed there for almost a decade." She had worked herself up as she talked, it was a frustrating recurrence with this topic, worse now that she cared so much for Kakashi-kun.

"Where the hell were you, Tsunade? He needed you. I'm honestly so disappointed." Her words caught in her throat as it tightened around them. She knew she wasn't being entirely fair. Sakumo was the one that had chosen to kill himself. This Tsunade had not left Kakashi to suffer alone. But she didn't care. She was angry. And besides, she had already yelled at Sakumo. "I know all about your own tragic shit, about your brother, about Dan. I know about your stupid belief that you're cursed—you're not, by the way." Tsunade winced. "But he was your son. And he needed someone, and both of you let him down in the worst way, and they used him, hurt him, chewed him up, and demanded blind loyalty after they practically pushed his father to suicide. And he gave it. And now he's just learned that someone he respected, someone he considered a friend, is actually just another person that abandoned him when he needed them the most."

Tsunade was staring at her with wide, glassy eyes. Though whether that was from the saké or genuine feeling, Sakura did not know. "I did train you, didn't I?"

Sniffing, Sakura pushed the hair that had fallen loose as she ranted out of her face. "Obviously." This conversation had been draining. Sakura felt wrung out. She wanted to find Kakashi. She wanted to tell him that even if no one else did, she cared and she would never abandon him. And then she wanted to go to bed because she was exhausted.

"You're teaching Kakashi?"

"He asked me if I would, and I was happy to. I love that little boy, I would do anything for him."

Tsunade winced again, feeling the jab for what it was. "And he's capable?"

She folded her arms. "He's a genius. They made him a Jōnin at nine before, of course he's capable. I don't think he wants to be a medic, but whatever team he's on will be better off with him there."

The blonde woman nodded, pouring them both another drink. Sakura didn't touch hers. "Why are you here, anyway? Why do you suddenly care about his education?"

She could hear Tsunade swallow thickly. "I saw Jiraiya a week ago. He told me that Sakumo had found family seemingly out of nowhere, and that one of them was a woman with my seal mark—apparently teaching my son medical ninjutsu. I just got back today. When I confronted Hiruzen about it, he sent me to try and reason with Sakumo about forbidding him to graduate early and pulling him from the Academy. He said…" Her brows twitched. "He said we'll be at war soon and no one should be exempt from giving everything we have to end it."

The anger that had only just begun to cool exploded all over again. "That absolute fucking bastard." Her glass cracked in her hand. "The absolute nerve! How dare he?"

"For what it's worth," Sakumo sighed, scrubbing a hand across his face. "I already told her no, Just like I told him."

Fury burned beneath her breast. How dare the Hokage ever make her agree with Pain and Obito. This world was fucked. The Shinobi system that abused children was fucked, and war was fucked, and gods she wanted to scoop up that little boy and run. Not that he would let her.

Tsunade frowned at Sakumo, looking angry again. "Why are you talking to her like she has some kind of say. She's even less his mother than I am."

"Be quiet, Tsunade." Sakumo finally looked up from the floor, glaring tiredly across the table. "She cares about him more than you ever will and she knows him better than either of us. If she hadn't been able to save me, I have no doubt they would have taken him and raised him themselves. Besides, I happen to agree with her. I do not want my son fighting in this war, already. I think you should go."

"Fine." She stood but made no move to leave. "I should tell Hiruzen who you really are."

Sakura peered up at her future sensei, the woman she had loved almost like a second mother. "But you won't."

Her fists were clenched at her side as she stared at the table. Sakura thought she might say something else, but she didn't. She just turned and left. Exhausted, but worried about the Hokage interfering, Sakura slumped in her zaisu. Why did everything have to be so damn complicated?

Because you're screwing with time, genius.

"You've given me a second chance. I won't fail my son this time. I promise, Ayame-san."

"No, you won't."

A/N I have a connected story with 2 drabbles so far from Sakumo's POV on my A03 /works/59830591/chapters/153495478

I will probably add them here later if I have time.