Thank you, troesnaja, for your tremendous help betaing this story! All remaining mistakes are due to me and my never-ending tinkering with the text. XD

Do you see me?
Do you feel me?
Where do you live,
do you understand?
What are you looking for?
Why do you love me?

(Eisbrecher - Frage)

- Prologue -

She stood by the bedside of the condemned man, arms crossed. Severus Snape … The curse was slowly killing him. Necare conctanter. He had passed out last night. Only this potion might save him.

"Blood. That's the last ingredient. Blood of someone who loves him." Professor Dumbledore's words seemed to seal his fate.

That had been two hours ago. She was standing there ever since.

"There is nothing, absolutely nothing that connects us, Hermione!" Severus's words should have sealed his fate much earlier. The words and that he hadn't given her a chance to answer. That she still wanted to save him was proof she really was the right person.

She uncorked the vial with the unfinished potion and took the needle, her face like a mask of stone. She looked down at the pale man, her epitome of happiness and sorrow. He didn't love her, at least not two days ago.

"Come back, Severus! Come here and tell me again that nothing connects us!" She hissed as she pierced her finger with the needle and let the blood drip into the potion. It simmered a little, turning the color of the sea on a warm summer day.

He didn't love her two days ago. But maybe that would change eventually.

- Chapter 1 -

He'd barely closed the door to his rooms in the dungeons when there was a double knock. Grunting sullenly, Severus put the Strengthening Solution Poppy had given him on his desk. She hadn't been thrilled about him leaving the infirmary on his own responsibility. He, however, thought she should be glad he'd stayed for two days. That had to be enough for a trip to the afterlife and back. Now he turned and opened the door so roughly that the knocker hit its metal counterpart.

"What?" he asked sharply when he saw Hermione.

"I wish you a great day as well." She walked past him into his office.

Severus scowled at her and slammed the door shut. She didn't even flinch. "What do you want?" He had a headache, he was tired and his mood was abysmal. Decidedly bad conditions for a conversation with Miss 'I don't care if you want to hear it, I just have to get it out'. Severus growled softly.

Yes, he remembered their last conversation. Vividly. His near-death experience hadn't changed that. And as if her misconception wasn't bad enough, she had then saved his damn life! Against his will! With a potion that ... well, at least came very close to the Dark Arts, if it could break this curse. Poppy hadn't been able to tell him what kind of potion it had been. Only that Albus had given it to Hermione and that she had added her blood to it.

Blood magic! Indeed ... He'd love to wrap his fingers around her narrow neck and squeeze tightly. Or around Albus's. Preferably around both. Anyway, Albus owed him a few answers as soon as he was back in the castle. Tomorrow. The day after tomorrow at the latest.

Hermione turned and looked at him levelly. "I wanted to see how you are, Severus."

He wrinkled his nose. Why, of all things, had he allowed her to call him by his given name? That even entitled her to ask him questions like that, didn't it? "I'm fine!"

Without paying attention to his irritability, she said, "I'm pleased to hear that."

Severus turned around and sat down at his desk. He still felt weak in the knees and maybe she would leave if he just kept ignoring her. Pity that he could no longer deduct any House points, she wasn't a student anymore. She had only returned to live in the castle because it was more practical. Because they had to work together and Albus had suggested she moved into one of the free rooms in Gryffindor Tower. She had gladly decided to stay for the time being. A muscle on the bridge of his nose ticked.

He'd been working with her for about six months now and ... it must have been due to his workload. Teaching, Voldemort, developing potions, keeping a wary eye on the fools in his House - he wasn't getting any younger, it was giving him a hard time. There simply was no other explanation that he found it not too bad working with her. She was more relaxed than she used to be in class. She asked valuable questions. She gave precise answers. She did what he told her. Apparently, all of that had clouded his brain because yes, he had allowed her to call him by his given name!

Severus rubbed his forehead. She was still standing there, he could see her feet.

She had planned to get his permission. She'd waited for the right moment. On a really busy day. After three glasses of wine. Merlin, how many times had he regretted it? But he wasn't going to take it back. That was tantamount to surrender! He would be able to deal with her.

As he leafed through his papers with utter disinterest - the ones he'd been working on when the call had hit him - Hermione wandered through his rooms. She'd been here several times. Mainly for research. But sometimes for one of those fatal glasses of wine after a hard day. It wasn't surprising she felt comfortable here. And yet it bothered him.

Love. He snorted. Hermione turned to him. He ignored her. How did she come up with this ridiculous idea? There was absolutely nothing lovable about him. Nothing! She must be crazy falling in love with him! He looked at her from the corner of his eye. Maybe she was crazy. All the stress she'd been going through ... Maybe she just imagined it because ... he was there. Unlike other men. Unlike men her age. Still. She would come to notice how ridiculous it was.

A few minutes later he finally put the quill aside (his hand was shaking so badly he could no longer read his own script) and looked at her. Hermione strolled along his bookshelf and read the titles, her head angled. Not for the first time. It was her strategy when he ignored her. No, it wasn't the damn first time he did this! And if she read these titles just a few more times, of that he was sure, she'd be able to list them all by heart.

"Hermione, what are you doing here?" he finally asked. Again.

She turned to face him. "I'm waiting for you to offer me a cup of tea."

He raised an eyebrow. "And why should I do that?"

"Because it's polite. And because you've always done it."

There was something in her eyes that hit him. Somewhere behind his sternum, there it hit him. Severus scowled at her. Why was she here? What did she want from him? Definitely not tea. Hadn't she already forced herself enough on him?

And that wasn't even the only reason he couldn't stand her presence right now. She had also saved his goddamn life!

Did he look like someone who wanted to be saved?!

This incident had been the perfect opportunity for him to escape from this madness! He hadn't thrown himself in front of that curse, definitely not. But it wasn't like he could have done anything about being hit.

And she screwed it. She had brought him back into this life that had nothing to offer but duties. It would never stop. No matter what he did, no matter what he sacrificed - Albus would always think of a new task for him as long as the Dark Lord was alive. And he probably wouldn't even stop afterwards. Well, if Severus would live to see the afterwards, that was. He'd made one bloody mistake and Albus would make sure he never forgot. No, it wouldn't have bothered him to die.

Hermione was still looking at him and he looked back with narrowed eyes. "Patty!" he shouted, knowing how much she would hate it.

The elf appeared in front of Severus's desk with a pop. "Master Snape, sir?"

"Bring us tea," Severus said without taking his eyes off Hermione's face. She pressed her lips together until they were merely two thin lines.

"Of course, sir," Patty said hesitantly and disappeared again.

"Was that really necessary?" Hermione asked tightly.

Severus smirked. "No, but it was satisfying."

She rolled her eyes and sighed. But before she could say anything about it, Patty returned. She balanced a tray on her hands, huddled on it a large pot of tea, two cups, a plate of scones, milk, and sugar. "Put it on the table," Severus said, "and then you may leave."

Patty did his bidding, bowed, and disappeared again. "The tea," Severus snarled, pointing at the tray.

"Thank you," she hissed. And as if she wanted to pay him back for what he'd just done, she went to the table, poured herself some tea, and sipped it - almost without taking her eyes off of him.

Severus's eyebrows twitched.

Then she sat down and rubbed her forehead. "Severus, why are you doing this?"

"What?" he asked innocently.

"You're trying to make me angry."

His eyebrows twitched again.

"Although you seem contentious enough for the both of us," she muttered.

"Do I?" he asked pointedly.

"Yes. And I can't shake the feeling that I am the reason."

"Really? That must be the swot in you."

"And should the swot express more feelings or will you finally talk to me?"

Severus gave her a sharp look as he leaned onto his desk. "I've heard enough about your ... feelings lately." His heart began to pound so hard that he couldn't breathe for a moment. Severus inhaled deeply and let it out slowly. He should've taken that Strengthening Solution when he'd had the chance.

Hermione closed her eyes briefly. "So that's what this is about?" she asked, very tired.

Severus didn't answer. He just stared at her doggedly.

She frowned and put her cup down. "If you don't tell me what's annoying you so horribly then there's nothing I can do about it! Stop being so reluctant to speak your mind all of a sudden!" She stood and walked over to him, stopping right in front of his desk.

He cracked his knuckles. "First of all, it annoys me that you talk to me like that," he said calmly, very calmly.

She rolled her eyes. "I thought we were beyond that."

He ignored her. "Second, it annoys me that you come here and pretend that nothing has happened."

"What do you think I should do? Avoid you just because you rejected me?"

"It would be a start," he growled. He'd done that after Lily ... Whatever.

Hermione gave a short laugh and stuck out her chin. "We don't have time for that. In case you forgot during your two-day break: We are at war. And unfortunately, a lot of Professor Dumbledore's hopes rely on us. I'd love to give you a wide berth but I can't."

Severus looked at her sourly. His heartbeat pounded in his skull. Did he still have some pain-relief potion? Yes, there still had to be a few vials. He would need it later. "Then why did you save my life? If you really want to get away from me, this would have been a perfect opportunity for you."

She wrinkled her nose. "You can be such a bastard, Severus Snape!" She clenched her fists and leaned onto the table. Her face was suddenly very close to his. "Do you really think I could have let you die?" she said, tears welling up in her eyes. "Maybe you could do something like that, I can't!"

Before he knew what he was doing he was on his feet. "And there you are, being the Gryffindor again," he replied scornfully.

"What does all of this have to do with being a Gryffindor? Would you have preferred death?"

"Yes!"

She gasped. Stared at him for a few seconds. Then she nodded bitterly. "Fine. Next time I'll let you die!"

"If only!" He supported himself on the tabletop as dizziness suddenly overwhelmed him. Fortunately, she was so angry she didn't notice.

"How could I ever believe that you had any decency in you?" Hermione yelled instead and a damn tear was running down her face.

Severus snorted. "I don't know! I don't even know what gave you the twisted idea that you could love me!" He threw his arms in the air and … Stupid idea. Very stupid idea. He grimaced. His muscles were still sore from that damn curse.

Hermione shook her head and spun around. Walking to the door she said, "You know, this potion took the blood of someone who loves you. Since it worked brilliantly, you can assume this is not a twisted idea. And if you don't believe me, why don't you just listen to what you're feeling for once?" She had already opened the door to the corridor when he followed her and whirled her around, pushing the door closed with a loud thud.

"And what good should it do if I ... listened to what I'm feeling for once?" He'd come so close that his face was barely an inch away from hers.

Hermione swallowed. He could see the pulse racing on her neck as she stubbornly held his gaze. But then she lowered it to where he reluctantly felt his heartbeat, still way too fast. That alone made him uncomfortable. But then she raised her hand and placed it on that very spot. He wanted to back off, he wanted to slap her hand away, he wanted to get some … distance between them! But Hermione held him in place with her other hand and just pressed tighter onto his shirt.

"Shut up and feel!" she said sternly and caught his gaze again. There was a wild look in her hazel eyes.

Severus had no choice but to do just that. He stopped struggling and concentrated on the warmth of her palm on his chest. The touch seemed to burn him through the fabric. His skin tingled, his pulse raced. And then the tingling wasn't just on his skin. It spread inside of him and reminded him of something he had felt a long time ago. Something that felt good and agonising at the same time. And something that just felt bad. But mostly good and agonising. Mostly that.

Those weren't his feelings. They felt ... strange. They were her feelings. Severus saw it in her eyes and in her tight lips. She swallowed as his eyes widened.

"What does that mean?" he asked hollowly, the last strength draining from his body. His legs were shaking and if she hadn't held him with her hand on his shoulder and her gaze they might have given way under his weight. "Why are you doing this?"

Hermione shook her head. "I don't do it voluntarily. It's the potion. It created a connection between us."

There is nothing, absolutely nothing that connects us, Hermione!

Severus swallowed. "No, that's impossible." His voice was barely more than a breath and when she let go of him, he swayed briefly until his hand found the door. The door that gave him a little stability. Her feelings within him were weakening, but now that he had noticed them, he could still feel them.

"If you hadn't been holding onto your anger for the whole time, you would have noticed it sooner," she said softly, brushing her face. Her fingers trembled.

"Do you also feel what I ..."

She shook her head again. "No. It's a one-way road. You are as incomprehensible to me as ever." She closed her eyes.

Severus let out a sigh of relief. Unthinkable if ...

But how could that be? What damn potion had Albus given her?

"I'm sorry the potion has this side effect. I didn't know anything about it. But I felt that something was different from the moment the first drop fell into your mouth. If you don't want to directly work with me anymore, you just have to say it. We'll find a way."

Severus stared at her. He wanted to say something, but neither knew what nor did his mouth obey him.

"I'd better go now." She turned around. Severus took his hand from the door and silently watched Hermione slip into the hallway and disappear.

"What kind of goddamn potion was that?"

Albus looked up from the letter he had been reading when Severus stormed into his office without knocking. He lowered the parchment and pointed to the chair in front of his desk. "Sit down, Severus." Who complied impatiently.

Impatiently first and foremost because he had searched through half of the library in the past two days and still had no clue what kind of potion Albus had given to Hermione. There was no potion that had the power to undo this curse and, as a side effect, created this hideous connection! And especially none that needed the blood of someone who loved the victim of said curse! Or at least believed they did. He rolled his eyes. To be connected to Hermione's emotions was annoying at best, unbearable at worst, and on top of that, was his body still not doing what it should. He was exhausted. Very exhausted.

"Well?" he said, raising his eyebrows.

Albus regarded him with that look. Severus had never really figured out what it meant. They weren't on friendly terms, but Albus wasn't only his employer either. They didn't really like each other, but sometimes when he looked at him like that ... Severus just didn't know what to make of it.

"I'm glad the attack turned out so well," Albus finally said.

Severus barely held back a snort. Of course, he was. Albus loved it when everything went as he'd planned it and obviously, he had an inkling of what Hermione thought she was feeling for Severus. Otherwise, it wouldn't have occurred to him to brew a potion that was missing an ingredient. Otherwise, he wouldn't have thought of telling Hermione about the potential of this potion and leaving her alone with it. Albus had once again played chess and the game had turned out exactly as he had planned it.

"What potion?" Severus repeated.

Albus ignored his question and continued, "But you shouldn't stress yourself just yet, Severus. Madam Pince told me you haven't left the library for the last few days. That's not good for you."

"Then tell me what kind of potion it was," he growled.

Albus raised his eyebrows. "I might be paying you too much if you can't figure it out on your own."

Severus's eyes widened. For a moment he was actually speechless. Then he wrinkled his nose. Obviously, that was another piece of information he wasn't worthy of. The anger left him and gave way to something else. Something ... more resigned. "Fine. But then don't complain that I spend my time in the library."

"Why is this so important to you, Severus? Is there anything I should know about?"

He shook his head. "No, Albus. Pure interest." That was a piece of information Albus wasn't worthy of.

He was silent for a while and looked at Severus. In fact, his eyes seemed to see right through him. Severus narrowed his eyes. He hated it when Albus tried to use Legilimency on him. As if Severus didn't know what he was doing. As always, he emptied his mind and let him see nothing. One despot rummaging through his mind had to be enough.

"Alright then. But I ask you to take care of yourself. You won't be teaching for the next two weeks. Then we'll see."

"As you wish," he said, bowing his head.

"You and Miss Granger should use the time to keep working on the potions if you're feeling well enough."

"Of course."

"Very well. I will ask Alastor to release her from combat training for the time being. You need time." He looked at him like that again.

Severus frowned. He needed to find out what kind of unspeakable potion that had been. But Albus was right; they also had to continue working on the potions to destroy the Dark Lord.

"Are you informing Miss Granger?" he asked.

Severus narrowed his eyes and nodded. "Sure." He didn't like being around her but to continue working together would inevitably mean closeness. He should start getting used to it right away.

"Well. Do you have any further questions?" Albus looked at him observantly.

"No." Severus stood and indicated a nod, which Albus returned. Then he left the office.