I

The night was terribly tiring.

Actually, it was the day that had tired out all assigned to work the moat, but the night brought exhaustion to the men and women in full. Darkness had barely arrived, guided by the torchlight now crowning the wall surrounding Tataraba and Ashitaka's crew were only just finishing the initial trenches to reestablish the surrounding moat.

"So, boss man. Care to join us little folk for a drink at Jun's tonight?" said Hanae, one of the most recent arrivals in town. A barrel chested woman with upturned nostrils, she shot Ashitaka a contagious grin from under a decorative seasonal head wrap.

Ashitaka rose to meet his associate's gaze, and returned the smile. "Alas, I need to tend to Yakul, then get myself ready for tomorrow. And Lady Eboshi asked to see me before then, so…"

"All right, all right. But nothing refreshes quite like Jun's quality shōchū. I swear, the night only gets easier after one or two mugs." She gave a hearty laugh, richly savoring her approaching excitement. She followed up with a complimentary slap to Ashitaka's back. A lesser man could have been sent flying, though Ashitaka could not be counted as such. That said, the scar on his chest from the musket ball stung some.

As he approached the gates, he rolled his shoulders across his measured frame, wiping down his set brow with a sweatrag gifted him by Toki, the unofficial prefect of the Tataraba women and one of his closest friends in the town itself. She insisted that as attractive as he was when working, his face drenched in sweat wasn't going to appeal to anyone. He admired Toki's lack of tact, as it added to her nature a down-to-earth comeliness that Ashitaka was now accustomed to in Tataraba. He made his way to the stable where Yakul, his red elk, stood at attention, ever the professional mount. Ashitaka proffered a handful of persimmon fruit, with flowers. Yakul had been most patient with his caretakers, so he had earned a sweet reward in addition to his water-softened cherry tree bark. Yakul chirped in approval, prompting a smile from his master.

Ashitaka shivered. He anticipated the autumn air would soon dip, so it was time to dress Yakul in the hemmed quilt that he and Toki had made special for the best, and only, red elk in residence. He couldn't stand the thought of Yakul so much as sniffling in response to the oncoming chill. So on went the quilt, as Yakul playfully fought to nuzzle the toughened hands of Ashitaka. He patted the fabric down on his boon companion. Yakul chirped again, insistent on keeping him there. But as obstinate as Yakul could be, Ashitaka remained equally steadfast in moving on with his evening. He brushed Yakul's mane briskly, and left his partner to the most capable facilities of the men and women managing the stables.

Though his muscles ached for his humble futon, Ashitaka always looked forward to a cup of fresh brewed tea by Eboshi's hearth. They had begun to make a habit out of tea or a meal at least twice every week. The meals were never anything elaborate, the lady never saw herself as separate or above her people. But that lack of complexity stripped down the meetings to a relaxed nature, a most welcoming commodity this evening.

As he entered Eboshi's new quarters, he found himself greeted warmly by the lady within.

"Good evening, Ashitaka. I was beginning to wonder if Gonza had waylaid you somehow or misplaced you under the gate."

Her face was lightly painted, and she had a cup ready for him as he entered, still steaming. He took a cushion by her simple tar-black wooden table. Tonight, Lady Eboshi was wearing a bright purple kimono with white bursts of hydrangea peppering the sleeves and backside. His simple blue outfit, considerably dirtied by the day's labor, seemed beyond mundane in comparison, though he had washed by Yakul's water trough to scrub away what he could from his skin beforehand. Her silken ebony hair was up with sticks, but it was apparent to Ashitaka that she had it cut recently, opting to tame her strands into a delicate, but still majestic Kushi-maki style. At this moment, her hair possibly resembled a cowed storm cloud. Over her shoulder was Gonza, a broad slab of a man who served as her chief bodyguard. Gonza gave Ashitaka a curt nod as he poured himself a cup.

Over tea and savory dumpling soup, they waxed about the forecast, now that the trees were fully bloomed, and the wind dropped an occasional icy bluster in their daily cocktail. Eboshi even managed to vex Gonza in a memory game of her own design involving wax discs inscribed with pun-ridden descriptions of townsfolk that delighted Ashitaka and Eboshi both. As respected as the lady was, through the last year, he had discovered her love of creative flourishes in wordplay, including a truly devilish streak inventing choice puns to insert into her off-record dialogues. Though, as the night progressed, Ashitaka noticed that she did not partake in her pipe as she was wont to, but perhaps it was nothing. He couldn't say for sure. Not that he missed the smoke in the surrounding air, but it was a change in the routine that he gathered.

There was also the matter of her gaze. The peal of her laughter was genial as the evening carried on and when her eyes landed on Ashitaka, he felt as though additional weight bore on him. He already felt the weight of rebuilding day in and out. He acknowledged without guile the responsibility accompanying him as a team leader in the now year-long effort. And with those bearings, he was grateful to Lady Eboshi for being game for the always evolving nature of Tataraba, never making calls that would hurt the community, only opening the conversation to make life more sustainable for everyone, the truest sign of a great leader. That said, those dark blue orbs of hers sat on his face only briefly each time, but Ashitaka felt drawn like a compass needle to true north. A curiously vexing supper experience, to say the very least.

After a delightful meal and fulfilling social banter, Ashitaka felt himself losing the thread, almost out of energy, and rose to leave, covering his mouth to shield a belch from view.

"Actually, Ashitaka," the lady began. "I was just earlier admiring the crisp air outside. Prime time for a walk. Could I join you, as far as your abode, anyway?"

He blinked, swearing he missed a choice flutter of her lashes in doing so. "'Tis unnecessary milady, but I can never refuse a charming opportunity to keep your company, even a moment longer."

Eboshi smiled widely. She rose as Gonza fetched her cloak for her. Ashitaka took one last pull of tea, anticipating the chill that would seek to seep into his skin once outside of the lady's rooms.

As he strolled with Eboshi in the autumnal air, Ashitaka grew nervous, though he knew not for certain why. His thoughts moved to his house, more of a hut rather. He had only reluctantly accepted his hut after minor controversy, feeling there were others in town who required residential maintenance before him, but his neighbors would not hear of it. He was one of the reasons the community survived at all, with so few casualties against an assault by soldiers and the malevolent finger of a dying god. The hut was not particularly spacious, but it had a cooking pot outside, along with a futon and two small cabinets for food and clothing storage. When they attempted to foist a private bath into the plans, he vetoed, stating without falter that there was no shame in utilizing the public bathhouse. But as it turned out, Ashitaka was most grateful, and quite comfortable, in his small home.

The moon was only half present in the sky, but the wind had died and left them near perfect strolling conditions, if a peck chilled. His hut appeared around the way, and he glanced to Eboshi. Her eyes were set forward, perfectly level. Inside of Tataraba, she was unassailable, so there was no danger in this moment of interaction. That said, the intimidation in his lower gut spelt a mystery for his beyond tired brain.

He had only stepped upon the stone porch step of the squat home when Eboshi asked, "Ashitaka, if the wolf princess were unwilling to take you as a mate, did you have any other prospects?"

This caught the young man off guard, turning slowly to meet the elegant woman's eyes. There was no subterfuge in her ask he could detect. Nor was there malice, but there was more to her words. A sense of anxiety, most unexpected considering Lady Eboshi's standing and reputation here in her own personal realm.

Ashitaka carefully considered the woman before him. She had unwavering inner strength, regardless of her missing right arm, undying loyalty to those in her care, and when she smiled, he found the world to be just a bit warmer overall. He had never concerned herself even with their difference in age, finding her to be beautiful regardless of such surface level qualities. But here she was asking a question he had not expected. And there was that curious nervousness again.

"Milady?" He betrayed no overt emotion in his response, simply the words.

"Oh, Ashitaka," her smile had returned to her lips but not her eyes, "You know how many of the resident young women idolize you, and I recall you received a proposal just last month."

This was true, a young woman had apparently been struck by his actions during the evacuation and carried a torch for him for many months. The young woman's name was Yuko, and she was not even Kaya's age. Still in the summer tide of youth, he could not fathom stealing away what had remained of her childhood and making her a bride. Besides that, he barely knew her, recognizing her from interactions at the trading post and the weekly rice rations, but they had made only a modicum of small talk even then. He had turned her down politely but firmly, stating how she should not worry so much about marriage when so much of her life is still ahead of her. But he had seen the devastation he had planted in her with his attempt at kindness. And he could not round the corner before recognizing her crying. He was not proud of that. It underscored a flaw in his character; one that best settles away from others, perhaps.

Ashitaka smiled in response to her statement. "A young girl's exaggerated fascination should not be pressed into marriage vows, my lady. As flattered as I was, I had no previous knowledge of her, never mind how she had not even passed interest in courting me beforehand", he said.

His face and manner attempted to pass it off as fancy, and he was reasonably sure that would satisfy Lady Eboshi regarding Yuko. That said, satisfying Lady Eboshi regarding any other interests was a treacherous dance, reflecting nothing on her standing and reputation, but rather how much he treasured their friendship and camaraderie, not to mention her recently revived common humanity.

Eboshi's eyes brightened, "So you are open to the option of being courted by a woman of Tataraba?"

She stepped toward him. A challenge. He silently cursed his inexperience at navigating the waterway of romance. He had just opened a forgotten door by bringing up the notion of courting. He had not planned it, but he was going to pay for it.

Ashitaka forced out a friendly laugh, opening the weighted curtain that served as his doorway. "Milady, you flatter me with attention. Now, if you'll excuse me, I-"

"Ashitaka."

That soft voice of hers made to buckle his knees. Her eyes betrayed an emotion Ashitaka had not seen since he had left the village and his dearest Kaya. The emotion he saw was that of longing, desperate longing. She stepped inward again, forcing him backwards inside the hut. The curtain closed behind her as she joined him inside.

They were alone now, safe from prying eyes and ears. This woman who held such sway and commanded such potent respect, not just from him but from this entire community, was in his home, completely isolated from her position.

"Lady Eboshi, I-"

"Pray hear me out before any more words, Ashitaka."

His mouth hung open in the air, his thought cut off before it could take flight. Those eyes of hers were mere inches away from him, and he restrained an audible swallow. Lady Eboshi wordlessly guided him to his futon to be seated, and she took her seat at a footstool close to the washbasin, first dragging it closer to the futon in order to look him in the face as she proceeded. She grunted softly, composing herself.

"I...We have given you much thought over the past year. You came here a stranger, one who could have sought out simple vengeance on an arrogant woman who lashed out against nature causing it to grievously wound you, sending you careening towards death. And in hindsight, you are still owed by this community, in this case, represented by me." She straightened her mildly hunched posture at this, embracing her responsibility, and opening the dialogue on a slightly more comfortable professional standing. "Following that logic, We feel it bears mentioning that this past year's activity has caused me to review your role in our survival against all odds, deific, demonic, and otherwise. After saving us from supernatural obliteration, you owe us no favors. We as your brethren did you nothing but disservice, you were even shot by one of my own. But even still, you work towards our continued survival. Which brings me to why I am here.

"I cannot lie. To this very moment, I struggle to quantify my feelings toward you. In the very beginning, I pitied you. As established, your pain was a direct result of my doing. But I had a goal and a mission, to conquer the wild lands surrounding me in order to curry favor with assorted men of standing, whatever that means", she scoffed in an aside. "So I dismissed you as nothing but a hurt child, no doubt an arrogant view courtesy of my station. Later, after the Forest God died and Moro reaped her retribution on my hubris, I was humbled, not just by the actions of actual gods, but by a young man who sought to enable unconditional peace, regardless of how he himself had suffered at the hands of his fellow humans. As reconstruction initiated, and you insisted on remaining, I became used to the idea of your presence in this community. You affected a fascinating change in me, slowly. I came to see you as mature beyond expectations, and not just in terms of your inhuman strength and resolve. You are wise, and loyal, and inspire goodness in each and every citizen in Tataraba day by day. And it took me by surprise, that I—" she halted. Her words had been gathering speed gradually, but the trail ran out ahead of her last statement apparently. Eboshi visibly strained, her breath the only ambience in the small hut. Her eye line was focused on the base of his futon. Ashitaka suddenly became aware just how uncomfortable the surrounding air was becoming.

Eboshi opened her mouth, then closed it. She was working at gathering her emotions as they threatened to sweep her downstream, away from her intended destination. Another vocal exhale, followed by an instant breath.

"Not a day passes when I don't give you thought. I have pinned my hopes on you, because you have proven time and time again, without fail I will add, to be the best of us. You may claim to be undeserving, but I have seen the machinations of men. I have met hundreds, no, thousands of children masquerading as adults, claiming to have such knowledge of the world that they may show the rightmost way forward, and better yet hoping to tame my irrational wants for the people in my care. But you are no product of swagger and liquid courage. You are immaculate, blinding at times. It has been near impossible for me to think about the future without you involved in moving forward, and not as but a cog in the Tataraba machine. I…"

Her final exclamation came out pained. Her ability with words ceased entirely then-after. Her eyes filled out.

Ashitaka found the cozy chamber charged with something that he was not in any way prepared for this evening. He had started avoiding eye contact with her early on out of bashful embarrassment, but as her statements grew more impassioned, he found his eyes inevitably drawn to her. Similar to how her eyes had been drawn to him earlier in the night.

The breath in his chest strained out. A polite pair of sweat drops made their way behind his ears on their way to his neckline. Ashitaka was in it now. Was he imagining the look in her eyes? The minute tremble in her jaw? How she leaned ever so slightly in his direction?

Wait. No, she was actively leaning into him now. His palms twitched but did not reach to stop her. She was so close. Feet became inches became centimeters. Then millimeters.

His tongue was anchored in his mouth, slurring the name that dumbly exited reflexively.

"Sa-San."

As soon as that name made it out, Eboshi hitched. As if her future grave had been trampled by a wolf god in full frenzy. Her eyes shut. A solitary tear perched at the corner of her lid, hanging on for its pathetic life. He smelled the ghosts of spiced plums emanating from the pale woman in front of him.

"Oh. Of-of course." She laughed softly, not in mirth but seeped in bitterness. "How stupid of me."

She rose to her feet, without swaying or opening her eyes. Turning on her heels, she made for the curtain.

From the entryway, the curtain rose as Toki entered, cloth-covered basket in hand.

"Ashitaka, we had plenty of buns left over tonight. You want–"

Toki met Eboshi at the portal, but Eboshi didn't acknowledge her. She pushed past the curtain and disappeared into the air beyond. Toki blinked rapidly, her thoughts chasing after the details that were falling into place behind her eyes.

"Oh. Erm. You…I'll just leave this here."

She set down the basket on the footstool, only recently warmed itself. Toki's lip twitched. She maintained eye contact with the stool and its acquisition a minute longer. No sound made its way inside the hut. Tataraba was settling. The only people still up were the four shifts of guards atop the wall of the new fortress. Out of sight, Toki's nails pinched her palm.

"Sorry." She punched her temple, softly. She began to back away, turning toward the exit.

"Toki", he managed to utter.

She halted at the portal, turning slightly not fully meeting his gaze.

"Please don't speak of this. If not for her, than for my sake."

Toki said nothing, but did look to him after a moment. Was that shame in her eyes?

"I'm sorry you had to see that, Toki. But you're not to blame for any of it. That belongs to me." He grimaced. Bowing his head, he noticed he still had his shoes on. He reached to remove them.

"Ashitaka."

He winced, hopefully not too visibly. He met her eye as he freed one foot.

"Please take care. Not just for your own sake."

With that, Toki exited.

Both feet freed from his footwear, Ashitaka released the tension in his abdomen, collapsing onto the topmost comforter. He raised a fist idly and let it fall onto the comforter. His exhaustion had seemingly caught up to him at last. Sleep was a fickle visitor, however. Leaving him with a creased brow and a flat frown as he sighed skyward.