Chapter 1
Alexis stared at the diamond in her ring, rubbing her thumb over its surface repeatedly, as if the action would calm the knot that was getting tighter and tighter in her stomach. She heard footsteps coming up the walkway and knew they were Dean's, even before she heard the front door open, but she couldn't bring herself to look up. Not yet.
"Alexis…you're right." He said losing the battle to keep his tears at bay. "Things between us… they haven't been right for a while." Dean added, wiping the tears from his eyes.
"Hey, babe," Dean said, dropping his bags by the door and walking over to the couch. He leaned down and kissed the top of her head.
"Hey," Alexis replied with a weak smile, one that didn't escape Dean's notice.
"What's wrong, Lex?" Dean asked, standing next to her, his concern growing.
"Dean..." She began, her voice faltering as she looked up at him, tears brimming in her eyes.
"What is it, Lex?" he asked, his worry deepening as the tears began to spill.
"Dean, I can't do this anymore," she said, her voice breaking as she stared down at her hands, tears falling freely.
"Wha..What are you talking about, Lex?" Dean said as his voice cracked, his breath catching in his throat. He just stood there for a moment, frozen, before his legs gave out and he sank to the couch, his body feeling heavy, the weight of her words hitting him like a brick
"I can't live like this anymore, Dean… Not knowing if you'll come home. And when you do, it's like you're not really here. When you aren't out hunting your home drinking, and even when we are together, it feels like we're strangers." Her voice cracked as she pressed her trembling fingers against her face, feeling the warm tears running down her cheeks. "Dean we don't talk, we don't connect in any way. For God's sake you don't even touch me anymore. It feels like we're pretending to be married." Frustration crept into her voice as she spoke.
Dean just sat there as he fought back his own tears. As much as he wanted to argue, to tell her she was wrong, he couldn't find the words—because he knew she was absolutely right. Things had changed. When he wasn't hunting, he was drinking and distant.
"Alexis…you're right." He said losing the battle to keep his tears at bay. "Things between us… they haven't been right for a while." Dean added, wiping the tears from his eyes.
Alexis just sat there looking at Dean as they both let the tears flow, neither one knowing what to say. Finally Alexis broke the silence.
"I think we both know what needs to happen but neither one of us wants to say it." She said after she somewhat composed herself.
"You mean d..divorce?" Dean choked out.
"I'm sorry." She said as she looked away and the tears started to flow again.
"Don't be sorry Lex I think you're right." He said as he cradled her small hand in his much larger one.
"What?" Alexis said surprised she didn't get more of a fight out of him.
"I have been thinking about it a lot too and I think the reason neither one of us ever said anything was out of sheer stubbornness and unwillingness to give up." He said, attempting a smile at the thought of how stubborn she could be and how that was one of the things he loved so much about her.
"What about the kids?" she whispered, her voice barely audible.
"I've thought about them too. I can't stand the thought of losing them, but I also know they still need you. Maybe that's why I couldn't bring myself to admit something was wrong with us." His gaze dropped, unable to meet her eyes.
Alexis felt tears streaming down her cheeks, and soon the sobs took over, racking her body as the reality of her marriage ending sank in. She couldn't believe it was really over.
Dean ached to reach out and comfort her, but he held back, sensing it might only make things harder. He sat there quietly, waiting until her breathing calmed. Clearing his throat, he finally spoke.
"I'll go to Sam's tonight and come by in the morning to get the rest of my stuff." Dean stood up, his movements heavy, and headed for the door.
He stepped outside and made his way to the Impala, where he slid into the driver's seat and just sat there, letting the reality of what had just happened sink in. After a few minutes, he pulled out his phone and dialed Sam.
"Hello?" Sam answered, his voice groggy with sleep.
Dean paused, struggling to find the words. "Hey, Sammy," he said, his voice shaky.
"What's wrong, Dean?" Sam asked, now fully awake, the worry clear in his voice.
"It's over, Sammy. My marriage is over." The lump in his throat grew as he spoke, and the tears started to stream down his face.
Sam was silent as he couldn't find the words.
"I need a place to go, Sammy," he said, stifling a sob.
"Of course you can come over," Sam replied, his voice filled with concern.
Once Dean arrived at Sam's house, he sat on the edge of the bed in the guest room. Staring down at the wedding ring still on his finger, he slowly slid it off and turned it over in his hands, letting the reality sink in—his marriage was over.
He thought about how much he loved her, and yet he couldn't deny that things between them had gone wrong. It didn't stop the hurt, but it was the truth. He was lost in his thoughts when a quiet knock at the door pulled him back to the present.
Sam opened the door with a blanket in one hand and found his brother sitting on the bed, staring down at the gold band he'd once worn on his left hand.
"How are you doing, man?" he asked, though he knew it was a stupid question.
Dean looked up, his face etched with hurt, tears glistening in his eyes. "I drove her away, Sammy," he whispered, running a hand down his face to wipe away the tears.
"No, you didn't, man." Sam sat down beside him on the bed, his voice steady and reassuring.
Dean just looked at him, doubt clouding his eyes. Sam could see how much his brother was hurting, but he felt helpless, unsure how to ease the pain.
"I just want to get some sleep, Sammy," Dean said finally, letting out a heavy sigh. "I have to go back to the house in the morning and get my stuff."
"Okay, man." Sam nodded with an understanding smile as he got up to leave.
He paused in the doorway, then turned back around. "Oh, here—almost forgot. Thought you might need this." He laid the blanket he'd been holding on the bed.
"Thanks, Sammy," Dean replied with a forced smile.
Sam just nodded as he left the room leaving Dean alone once again.
Dean sat in silence for a moment, staring at his ring, the full weight of his situation finally sinking in. Slowly, he set the ring down on the table beside the bed, then picked up the blanket Sam had brought and lay down.
The tears came freely now, and the sobs he'd held back for so long shook his body. He took a few deep breaths, pulling the blanket up around him, and finally closed his eyes. Before he knew it, he'd drifted into a restless sleep.
After Dean left, Alexis just sat on the couch, still in shock. As soon as the door closed behind him, the tears came, and she began to sob. She couldn't believe her marriage was over—just like that. The thought of going upstairs to their bed alone was too much, so she curled up on the couch and cried herself to sleep.
The next thing she knew, sunlight was streaming through the living room window, gently waking her. She yawned, rubbing her sore eyes as she sat up, the memories of the night before settling heavily around her. She was pulled from her thoughts by the sound of small feet pounding down the stairs.
"Mommy! Mommy!" the voices of her two children called out as they ran down.
"Good morning!" She greeted them as enthusiastically as she could, pulling them into a warm hug.
"Good morning, Mommy," they replied in unison, wrapping their arms around her.
"Who wants waffles for breakfast?" she asked, managing a smile.
"I do! I do! I do!" both kids exclaimed as they dashed into the kitchen.
Alexis sighed, putting on a brave face as she followed them.
"Where's Daddy?" her daughter, Mary, asked, looking up with innocent curiosity.
"He got back late last night, so he stayed at Uncle Sammy's house, but he'll be home in a little bit," Alexis replied with a forced smile, hoping it hid the ache in her heart.
Back at Sam's house, Dean was woken by sunlight streaming through the guest room window. As he rubbed the sleep from his eyes, he noticed how sore they felt. He got up and made his way to the bathroom, where he splashed cool water on his face. Looking at his reflection, he hoped the pain didn't show. He knew he'd have to put on a brave face for the kids. Taking a deep breath, he left the bathroom and headed to the front door, where Sam was waiting with a cup of coffee.
"Hey, man, you look like you could use some coffee," Sam said with a smile, holding out the cup.
"No thanks, man. I need to get back to the house—Alexis and I need to talk to the kids." Dean's voice held a tinge of pain, and his stomach knotted at the thought of telling his children about the divorce.
When he pulled into the driveway, he sat for a moment, staring up at the house he once called home. He took a deep breath, opened the car door, and made his way to the front entrance. With one last deep breath, he forced a smile and stepped inside.
Alexis heard the front door open, and the children heard it too; they both jumped up from their chairs and bolted toward the entryway. Alexis stayed in the kitchen, taking a couple of deep breaths as she put on her own forced smile before Dean came in.
"Daddy!" they screamed in unison.
"Hey, guys! I missed you so much!" he said, wrapping his arms around them.
"We missed you too, Daddy!" Mary and Jonathan replied, grinning up at him.
Dean's heart broke as he looked down at their smiling faces, knowing they had no idea about the decision he and their mother had made the night before.
"Something smells good!" he exclaimed, trying to put on a brave face.
"Mommy's making waffles!" Mary said excitedly, grabbing his hand and pulling him toward the kitchen.
He followed her into the kitchen, where Alexis was busying herself with breakfast.
"Hey," he said softly when he saw her, a lump rising in his throat.
"Hey," she replied with a forced smile, setting a plate of waffles on the table.
He couldn't help but notice her red, irritated eyes and knew she had been crying. He hoped she didn't notice that his eyes were red too.
"Well, those waffles look and smell delicious. Let's eat!" Dean said, clapping his hands together, trying to keep the mood light.
The family took their seats at the table and began eating in silence at first, until Mary started chattering about something she'd done at school. But all Dean could focus on was Alexis, sitting across from him. He hated that he had hurt her so deeply that she felt divorce was the only option.
It tore at him to know this might be their last breakfast together as a family. The knot in his stomach tightened as he looked from his soon-to-be ex-wife to his kids, happily finishing their waffles, blissfully unaware of what was coming.
"Hey, Jonathan, can you take your sister upstairs to play? Daddy and I need to talk," Alexis said with a gentle smile.
"Okay, Mom," Jonathan replied, smiling back.
"Thank you, buddy." She tousled his hair affectionately as he and Mary headed upstairs.
Dean and Alexis watched in silence as their children disappeared up the stairs. They sat there for a moment, neither knowing where to start or what to say. Finally, Dean looked down at his coffee cup, then back up at Alexis, breaking the silence.
"Lex..." he began, stopping when he saw the tears welling in her eyes. He glanced down at his coffee again, gathering himself before continuing. "Lex, I'm sorry for any pain or hurt I caused you. But you have to know that I love you and the kids more than anything in this world." He paused, looking up to gauge her reaction.
"Dean, I love you too, but I just can't keep living the way we have been. It's not fair to me, it's not fair to you, and it's not fair to the kids." She choked back tears as she spoke.
"You're right, Lex, and I truly am sorry for that," he replied, meeting her gaze once more.
Alexis hesitated, sitting there for a second, unsure of what to say next. Finally, she mustered the courage to speak.
"Dean, we should tell the kids what's going on," Alexis said, her voice trembling as she struggled to keep it together.
Dean nodded silently, and Alexis called the kids back into the kitchen. Once they were both seated, she looked at them, her heart breaking at the thought of what she was about to say.
"Um... You guys know that Mommy and Daddy love you very much, right?" she asked, her eyes filling with tears.
"Yeah," they answered in unison, glancing nervously between their parents.
"Well, Mommy and Daddy have something we need to tell you. And we don't want you to be sad or think it's your fault, okay?" Alexis's voice cracked as she struggled to hold her composure.
"What's going on?" Jonathan asked, looking confused and concerned.
"Well, Mommy and Daddy have decided that Daddy is going to stay with Uncle Sammy for a while," she explained, her heart shattering as she looked into their innocent faces.
"For how long?" Jonathan asked, lowering his head.
"For a while, buddy," Dean replied, his own heart aching as he looked at his son.
"Daddy and I just need a little space from each other right now," Alexis added, trying to explain gently.
Before they could say anything else, they heard sniffling. Both of them turned to see Mary with tears streaming down her little cheeks. In an instant, she burst into sobs.
"I don't want Daddy to leave!" she wailed, throwing herself into his arms and clinging to his shirt.
Dean held her tightly, his heart breaking a little more with every sobbing plea.
"Shhh, it's okay, baby girl. It's okay," he murmured, stroking her hair in an attempt to comfort her.
"Please don't go, Daddy," she begged, looking up at him with tear-stained cheeks.
"Sweetheart I have to, it's what's best." He said trying to convince himself as much as he was trying to convince her. He held her against his chest as sobs racked her little body and she begged him to stay.
Finally, Alexis came over and gently peeled Mary off of him. Dean stood up from the table and walked into the other room. Once he was out of sight, he collapsed against the wall, sliding down until he was sitting on the floor. He buried his head in his hands as the sobs he had been holding back finally broke free.
Back in the kitchen, Alexis sat with her children for a moment, then managed to speak.
"Jonathan, honey, can you please take your sister out to the backyard for a little bit?" she asked with a pained smile.
"Yes, Mommy," Jonathan replied with a heavy sigh, taking his little sister by the hand as she rubbed her eyes with the other.
Once they were outside, Alexis left the kitchen and found Dean crumpled on the floor. She knelt beside him, resting her hand gently on his arm.
"Dean," she whispered.
He lifted his head, looking at her with tear-filled eyes.
"Lex, I can't do this," he choked out, tears streaming down his face.
"Dean…" She trailed off, reaching up to stroke his tear-stained cheek.
He hung his head again as more sobs wracked his body.
"Dean, we talked about this. We agreed it's what's best for all of us," she said, her voice barely holding steady.
"I know," he replied, still unable to meet her gaze.
Wiping the tears from his eyes, Dean took a deep breath and slowly stood up.
"Well, I better go get my stuff," Dean said, not even looking at her as he made his way to the stairs and up to the room they used to share.
She followed him up, entering the bedroom and sitting on the edge of the bed as he packed his things. They sat in silence for what felt like an eternity before Alexis finally spoke.
"Dean, I'm sorry," she said, stifling a sob.
"Yeah, me too," he replied, his voice coming out a bit gruffer than he intended. He saw the pain flash across her face and immediately regretted his tone, turning back to shove clothes into his duffle bag in silence.
"Dean…" She trailed off, her gaze dropping to her hands resting in her lap.
"Yeah?" he responded, glancing up from the bag he was packing.
"Dean, I was thinking… maybe some time apart is all we need." She finally looked up, meeting his eyes.
"What are you saying, Lex?" he asked, a flicker of hope in his voice.
"All I'm saying is that we don't have to go through with a divorce just yet. Why don't we take some time apart and see what happens?" She spoke nervously, almost as if afraid of his response.
"Okay, sure, let's do that… but for how long?" Dean's tone held a hint of irritation, uncertain about what she was really suggesting.
"I... I don't know, Dean. However long it takes for us to either work on things or decide that it really is over." She looked back down at her hands in her lap.
Dean sat there, words failing him. Finally, he looked at her, tears welling in his eyes.
"Lex, I love you, and I'll do whatever it takes to fix things between us." A single tear rolled down his cheek as he spoke.
" I know." She said, finally looking up with tears in her own eyes.