It is not shocking that our favorite childhood show, Sesame Street, has covered a lot of serious topics that many children struggle with, including the adults. Such as death, divorce, violence, even incarceration. But what many people don't know is that there was one particular episode of Sesame Street that was too scary and depressing to be broadcast. I'm not talking about the witch episode nor that one episode where Snuffy's parents get a divorce. I'm talking about an episode fully filmed in the year 1994, titled "Big Bird Goes To Jail".
I did find a tape about that episode when I was working at the PBS Network. I've worked since 1985, and let me say….I always hated every minute of it. The boss was nothing but a complete jerk, many of my coworkers are dicks, and I didnt even get a well deserved raise or paycheck! I almost got fired after I attacked one of my coworkers, Josh. I was in a blind rage as he snitched me for something I didn't even do. I hate that guy so much. But can you even blame me for it? There is a saying, Snitches gets Stitches. Sadly, I didn't get fired, but my punishment was cleaning out the archives. I thought that it would be the worst day of my life, but I wasn't expecting what would come next.
When I was cleaning one of the shelves, I discovered an old tape, from 1994 that is. This happened in 2001 and I wasn't really old, but let's not have a debate about it. I gazed at the tape and it was labeled "Sesame Street - Prison Episode". The messy sharpie writing really confuses me, but there wasn't any time like the present to kill off my confusion. So, I set up a placed TV and VCR, and pushed the tape through the tray. I have to be honest, despite my confusion after discovering the tape, I was a bit curious about this episode.
The funky 90s remix of the classic Sesame Street intro played as normal, who wouldn't love a catchy funky cover of a kids show's theme song? When the episode began, Gordon was the one to introduce the audience. "Oh hi there! Welcome to Sesame Street. Big Bird is very excited, because today is his birthday!" said Gordon on the television. "Birthday?" I said in more confusion. "What does it have to do with jail or prison?" I asked again, thinking it was a simple mistake, and yet I continued watching. Then Big Bird appeared on screen, overwhelmed with pure joy. Typical Big Bird stuff. "Oh boy, Gordon!" shouted Big Bird with unlimited joy. "I am so so so so so happy! I can't believe I'm turning seven years old!" cheered Big Bird, started laughing with happiness. "Okay, Big Bird is WAAAAY too happy." I thought.
I thought this was just a normal episode for kids to enjoy. But what came next was so shocking, that it still haunts my nightmares till that very day. Two police officers appeared inside the car, with the sirens blaring loudly and the lights of red and blue shining. They got out of the car and pulled their pistols towards Big Bird, angrily yelling at him. Big Bird is completely horrified when the police yell at him. Gordon is extremely confused and shocked at the same time. "What's happening?!" asked Gordon with shock in his voice. Big Bird tried to explain what was going on, but just as he was about to speak, a third cop pops out and started pepper sprayed AND tazed him at the same time.
Big Bird screams in agonizing pain when the cop tased and pepper sprayed him. And the scream, it sounded realistic, like Big Bird is actually in pain. Soon, the first police officer pinned Big Bird to the ground and handcuffed him. Gordon tries to reason with the police, telling them that they were mistaken. But they wouldn't reply to Gordon. "Big Bird, you are under arrest for theft and attempted murder of Cookie Monster, you have the right to remain silent!" said the first police officer, as he started dragging the crying Big Bird to the patrol. The female cop was about to follow the other officer, but Gordon stopped her. "wait." said Gordon.
The female cop turned her head to Gordon. "If you're taking Big Bird away, can I at least accompany him?" asked Gordon. "Well if you want to, say goodbye to him that is." taunted the female cop, snickering and walking away. The car drove off with Big Bird screaming in fear and confusion. Gordon watches the car driving away, he looks at the audience with a confused look. I was getting a bit disturbed at some point. Obviously, this must be a sick joke that the PBS staff made. A one off prank if I believe. As I continued watching, one of those fun cartoons that would appear in the episodes began. But this time…it was foreshadowing. It showed nothing but a guy wearing an orange jumpsuit in a prison cell, sitting and sobbing. It was a depressing looping animation and it went on for two whole minutes.
Then it cuts to outside the jail, stating that Big Bird has been charged with theft and attempted murder on a Muppet. "Gordon?" weeped Big Bird. "I'm gonna miss you!". Big Bird is shedding tears really badly and Gordon is holding back from crying. "I'm gonna miss you too buddy. But don't you worry, you'll be in jail for ten years. That's not too long." assured Gordon. This somehow annoyed me, for a great guy like Gordon, that wasn't his best lesson. When Big Bird heard Gordon's sentence, he was in complete shock. He started to break down realistically and uncontrollably. Soon Gordon shed some tears. The two cops drag Big Bird to the prison, or "Sesame Street County Jail" as it says on the sign. The other officer led Gordon to the exit.
Okay, this is when the episode takes a really nasty turn. I would expect that for Sesame Street standards that the prison will just be fake. And the inmates will be Jim Henson's extra puppets or whatnot, and maybe they'll sing a song…but I was wrong. The prison is very real, and the inmates were real as well. And they looked very dangerous. When Big Bird and the officer walked by their cells, the inmates started jumping around and punching the cell doors to get them. Big Bird was very terrified, so he covered his arm over his eyes. But for the officer, it restrains him. "Hey! Stop that! That move is classified as an act of disobedience!" shouted the officer. I find that pretty fucking stupid, and I also felt bad for Big Bird.
"But, they want to hurt me!" said Big Bird, with horror in his eyes. "I don't give a fuck! Move!" shouted the officer. "What?! Did he just say fuck?!" I question, shocked from hearing a bad word on a kids show. Now there's a good reason why they wouldn't air this episode. Just then, the scene fades into a frame of Big Bird in his jumpsuit. He was led into his pod and it's almost too small for him. Big Bird is still horrified from this complex situation he is stranded in. "Officer…I'm scared!' whimpered Big Bird, still horrified. The police officer turns to Big Bird. "Oh you're scared? You're actually scared?! Well, you asked for it! BOYS!!" yelled the police officer.
The other police officers run out the pod, heading towards Big Bird's cell. The faint yells and roars of the inmates echoes loudly around the prison. And only two of them began to antagonize Big Bird. "YOU MINE, SON! YOU MAKING MY COCK FEATHERY TONIGHT!!" roared the inmate with dark frizzy hair. "IT'LL BE YOUR EYES FOR OUR DESSERTS TONIGHT!!! IF NOT THEN IT'S YOUR WHOLE FACE!!!" yelled an asian inmate with a large black beard. "Okay, that's racist." I said, getting uncomfortable. But that's not even the worst part.
Big Bird's fear takes over his entire body. He tries to hide but everything is small for him. The police officers ran into Big Bird's cell. They pull out some batons and start violently beating Big Bird with them, causing him to sob in pain and agony for Gordon, Elmo, Bob, Cookie Monster and Maria. Seeing Big Bird getting beat up by the police is just so horrible, he's just there suffering by police brutality. It just struck with fear and worry. Then it cuts to a segment with Bert and Ernie. Bert is sitting on his chair, reading a newspaper. He turned the page, only to find the news about Big Bird. "Oh wow. Big Bird got arrested? My Gosh, what could possibly be? Oscar the Grouch moving to the town dump?" inquired Bert.
Just then, Ernie walks in the apartment, weeping in worry for Big Bird. "Oh Bert! I'm so worried about Big Bird!" weeped Ernie. "I heard that you can get raped and killed in prison! What should we do?". Just like Ernie I was getting worried. "We can't do anything about it Ernie. Big Bird did something bad to Cookie Monster, so he has to stay there for ten years at least." explained Bert. While Bert explains, Ernie said something in which I could not respond. "But Bert, it's so sad that Mr. Snuffleupagus had offed himself after the trail! Big Bird has no one now!" weeped Ernie. I was in pure disbelief. What did I just watch? The episode was so depressing and somewhat increased nightmare fuel.
I checked the tape once more, and there was only one scene left. I thank God for this. But when I saw, it just horrified me entirely that it made me fall backwards off of the stool I was sitting on. It was a scene of Big Bird lying on the pod floor, all bloody and bruised up. He was trembling violently and hugging his knees while the blood pool surrounded him. "T….This is the worst birthday ever.." whimpered Big Bird, starting to sob quietly. It just popped in so quick, I can't even imagine seeing something worse than this horrific episode. There wasn't any sound either, except for the faint echoing noises from the prisoners and the police officers laughing evil. "Finally." said one of the police officers.
The credits began to roll over the image and the tape popped out of the VCR. I…I can't believe what I've just seen. That's even worse than the two other scary Sesame Street episodes that were never broadcast on television. I was looking at the screen, with my eyes widened, pupils dilated and I couldn't speak. The boss walks by, seeing me staring at the TV in terror. He believes that I'm slacking on the job. "Hey! Stop lying on the job and get back to work!" yelled my boss. I heard my boss yelling, leading me to a breaking point. I angrily grabbed the tape and quickly turned to my boss.
"How about you go fuck yourself! I quit!!" I yelled in fuming fear and trembling fright. The boss was in disbelief when I cussed at him. I stormed out of the room, grabbed my things and left the PBS Network for good. Later at home, I destroyed the tape and burned it in the fire. And after that, I threw away the ashes of what remains of the tape. If you ever find a Sesame Street VHS that contains a lost episode in it, destroy it and don't watch it. It is for your own good.