Chapter 30: Follow, Wander, Stumble, Listen
A working relationship; he could do that. He had done it before - put aside his feelings about a matter or a person in order to get something done - and he could do it again. It wasn't like he had much choice in the matter. Emet-Selch made it very plain that he still wanted nothing to do with Echo'a beyond the bare minimum the current task required and while Hythlodaeus had made an effort to remain pleasant with him, it wasn't the same.
Telling them of the future - of his life - had shoved a chasm between them and he felt that distance all too keenly now that they were working together again.
More so when it was just him and Emet-Selch chasing after a panicked Meteion. Originally he had quite a number of misgivings being teamed up with Emet-Selch but the reasons for the two of them being the driving force were sound and proved as such when they succeeded in cornering Meteion at the shelter. Hythlodaeus, Venat, and Hermes were there waiting, cutting off her only other escape route.
"Please, Meteion," Hermes encouraged. "We must speak."
After everything that he had heard from her, though, he wasn't certain Hermes's words would be enough to convince her anymore.
"I'm sorry, Hermes…" He was right, then? "I'm so sorry…"
He took a step towards her. Right or not, the least he could do was remind her that Hermes wouldn't be able to hear her. "Meteion-" he started to say but her voice was in his head again, pleading.
"If someone can hear these words, then please…" She turned to face him and Emet-Selch but he was certain she wasn't seeing them with those anguish filled eyes. "Please…protect them. Protect them all."
He frowned. Them? 'Them' as in those immediately present or the collective 'them'? Or some other 'them' entirely?
Meteion's eyes fell closed and when they opened again, the Meteion they knew wasn't there. "Individual self suspended. Connection with shared consciousness stable." Unease and apprehension shot down his spine. "Our survey is complete. We shall now report our findings. All units safely arrived at their respective destinations. Seeking answers to Hermes's question, we attempted to make contact with the intelligent denizens of each star. Results are as follows, in order of numerical code. Hena: Traces of civilization found - structures believed to have served as domiciles. No extant life-forms detected. Dyo: Ruined remnants of buildings scattered across star, surface of which is encased in ice. Presence of life could not be verified. Tria: Evidence of large population centers akin to cities recovered. No extant life-forms found - only their lingering essence. Tessera: Edifices surmised to be abandoned residences found. No extant life-forms detected. Deadly plague or extreme environmental degradation likely to have led to mass extinction."
"They are all...dead," Hermes spoke, the words thick with disbelief and dread.
It certainly sounded like Etheirys was the only star so far to have any sentient life remaining. That was…that was a rather hollowing thought. To find one's self the last of sentient life among the stars…
Gods, what must that have been like for the Meteia to discover?
"Okto: Star found in state of violent conflict. Contact successfully made with inhabitants, but deployment of weapons of mass destruction resulted in total annihilation of local population shortly thereafter." Echo'a winced at that. He couldn't imagine how devastating that must have been; gods, and Meteion's ability to pick up on emotions- "Ennea: Star is a barren desert. No identifiable flora found. Bones of living beings resembling men discovered beneath sands, but determination regarding their intelligence inconclusive."
"Remind me, Hermes," Emet-Selch inquired, his words hard. "What exactly was the question you entrusted to Meteion?"
Hermes's words were steady and sure as he responded, "I tasked her with asking what others live for. What gives their lives…meaning."
"Did you consider what may happen if the premise of the question is flawed? To be able to answer it, one must be living - and desire to continue doing so. But if Meteion finds no living beings in the course of her journey or none who desire to live, what then? What answers would she derive from their silence?"
Hermes sucked in a breath. Echo'a shook his head, interjecting, "The answer itself would be inconclusive. With so few points of reference-"
"I was not asking you," Emet-Selch cut in, his words low and harsh. Echo'a instinctively took a step back, his hand already on his Summoner's book, but he refused to let the irrational fear show on his face as he met the man's glare with an even look.
"Meteion," Venat called out, "enough. Suspend your mission and return hither at once."
Echo'a looked over Meteion's head at Venat. If Hermes's words had not swayed Meteion, why would she think-
"Deka-pente: Local civilization once flourished under auspices of higher power. Said power later laid waste to civilization in fit of rage. Upon revealing this to me, entity elected to self-terminate in lieu of providing answer to question. No other intelligent life-forms found."
Gods, this was only getting worse. He took a step forward only for Emet-Selch's hand to slap against his chest and he grunted from the force of it. He met Emet-Selch's disapproving scowl with a glare.
"Do not interfere," Emet-Selch warned before turning his focus to Hermes. "We are taking Meteion back to Amaurot. As I understand, we will need her if we are to bring back all of her sisters."
Hermes complied with a shaky, "Y-Yes."
Echo'a shoved at Emet-Selch's arm and stepped around the man's reach but Emet-Selch was quicker than he anticipated, grabbing at his upper arm and yanking him back a few paces. He scrambled to keep his feet under him as Emet-Selch hissed, "You will stay put or so help me I will be dragging you back to Amaurot as well for your own inquiry. And I guarantee you it will not be a pleasant experience."
He rolled his eyes. "I'm not trying to interfere. I'm trying to help."
Emet-Selch scoffed. "Help," he parroted, the word thick with accusatory doubt. "You have been nothing but a-"
Whatever else Emet-Selch was going to say died as the man frowned at Hermes. It was only then that Echo'a started to hear what Hermes was saying.
"…I will not dismiss them out of hand. These words I said to you…and I will hold myself to them."
Adrenaline shot through Echo'a as Hermes stood and turned to face them. Even with the mask obscuring a portion of his face, Echo'a saw the Fandaniel he knew in the ancient before him. With a sharp twist of his arm in the direction of Emet-Selch's thumb, he broke free of Emet-Selch's grasp and managed to close the distance between himself and Hermes just in time to grab at the summoned staff as it came into existence. Hermes jumped, an audible gasp escaping him as Echo'a let out a sigh, straightening his posture so that he was square with Hermes. Even though he was shorter - and probably a lot less powerful - Hermes seemed uneasy with him there, holding tight to the staff Hermes grasped between both hands.
"Can't let you do something stupid," he calmly informed Hermes, keeping his voice low and even as a show that he was not going to harm the other.
"Echo'a!" Emet-Selch barked behind him but he didn't let the man manage anything more.
With barely a turn of his head, his gaze still holding Hermes's as best he could through the mask, he shot back sharp and final, "I want to hear the rest of the report." It made Hermes jump. A part of him wanted to apologize. Instead, he released his grip on the staff, softly coaxing, "Put it away," as he kept his fingers loosely looped around the staff but not touching.
Hermes gave a shaky nod as the staff vanished in a similar manner to how it had been summoned. Echo'a immediately dropped his hand back to his side and offered Hermes a soft smile, grateful the other had listened.
Surprise or panic quickly filling Hermes's expression was the only warning he got.
Emet-Selch's hand closed around his bicep again. That grip was the only reason Echo'a remained upright as he was yanked off his feet. "I have had it with you. If you insist on interfering, then I will-"
"Godsdamnit!" Echo'a shouted, barring his teeth at Emet-Selch. "Will you stop being an ass and let me help already?! I'm not trying to cause you more problems; I'm trying to prevent them!" Silence heavier than he expected followed his words. Echo'a didn't dare risk looking away to figure out how the others were taking this. His heart was already thudding against his ribs but he returned his voice to more appropriate levels, ignoring the irrational fear that was screaming at him that he was letting his guard down around a serious threat. "I'm not about to stop you from taking Meteion to the Convocation, especially if what she has to report is a real threat, but we've only heard a portion of the report. While I will not deny your assumptions, I refuse to stand aside and let it be your driving force. At least allow us time to hear the rest of the report and have a calm discussion about our next course of action. Doing so would expedite the process of bringing in the rest of your Convocation should the need arise." The anger that had been slowly ebbing from Emet-Selch's expression finally gave away to the annoyed mask that had been present when they had first met but now he could see the contemplation in it; somehow, some way, he had managed to get Emet-Selch to at least consider his words. "Please, Emet-Selch. All I want to do is help save this star; and if Meteion has the information we need to save it, I want to hear it."
Emet-Selch's expression darkened. "I still refuse to believe what you said about the future-"
"The future be damned!" he cut in as he violently ripped his arm from Emet-Selch's grasp, the words sharp and scarily true. "I don't care if you think I'm some lunatic spouting nonsense of a future that may never come to pass."
"Echo'a-" came from either Hythlodaeus or Venat but he couldn't tell as he kept talking, the momentum not stopping.
"My reason still stands. Screw my tale, screw the future. I don't need you to believe me in order to try and prevent your end of days if given the chance." The breath he pulled in burned but he ignored it, dragging some semblance of calm back into his words. "Even if it means I have no time to go back to, no home, I don't care; even if that's not how time works - even if all I am doing is preventing it on some other timeline that doesn't even touch mine or all of this is moot and it will all happen regardless - I'm still going to try. I can't-" The words caught and cracked, forcing him to try again. "If there's a chance I can save you from the same fate the Emet-Selch I knew suffered through, I'm going to take it. I have to take it. No one should have to live through what he did, what you will if I stand aside and do nothing."
Hythlodaeus's voice cut in with a warble to it that made Echo'a's chest tighten. "Echo'a, you can't mean that."
A confused frown pulled at his lips as he looked to Hythlodaeus and Venat. For some reason Venat was holding onto Hythlodaeus's elbow like she had prevented him from getting closer. "Of course I mean it. What he went through was-"
Hythlodaeus was adamant as he cut Echo'a off. "No; about not returning home. About not caring if you don't have a home to go back to."
"Ah, that." He ran his hand through his hair with a heavy sigh as his gaze drifted to one of the shelter posts. The adrenaline was wearing off and fatigue was nipping at its heels. Though it made it easier to let go of his agitation, it reminded him he hadn't actually slept on that roof. "Look, as short as my life thus far may seem, it's been…a lot, to say the least. I'm tired. Tired of the demand, tired of the fear, tired of every hardship I'm apparently supposed to grin and bear." He rubbed at his face, willing the fatigue back for a while yet. He met Hythlodaeus's gaze. "The thought of simply ceasing to exist - to finally get to stop and rest - is far more tantalizing than it probably ought to be but it's not like I'm going out of my way for it." He shrugged. "If those are the results, they're the results, but I'm fairly certain life is having too much fun torturing me to let me off that easy."
"Torturing you," Emet-Selch repeated, sounding equal parts horrified and doubtful.
He turned his gaze onto Emet-Selch, not bothering to correct the tired expression he knew was on his face. Still, he offered an amused smile when he asked, "Would you believe me if I told you I had minimized my experiences?" He saw the flicker of recognition in Emet-Selch's eyes.
Horror won out in Emet-Selch's expression. It was Hythlodaeus who challenged him with a strangled, "Surely not."
He wondered if he felt calm because of the exhaustion or because the gravity of what he was about to share hadn't fully sunk in as his gaze returned to Hythlodaeus. "When I spoke of Fandaniel creating his towers to not only create a Primal but break the seal holding Zodiark, I did not mention I had been forced to visit the tower before the main confrontation and it had been…" He swallowed as he rubbed his fingers against his palms, unable to ease the echoed ache he had felt when they had gotten so cold. "Well. Long story short, my soul was forced into the body of a dead soldier as my body was hijacked by a bloodthirsty lunatic and, as a sort of sport, I was dropped into the tempered filled city and told to hurry before said lunatic could kill every soul in Camp Broken Glass. I could not tell you how many tempered I cut down, nor could I tell you how I managed to survive, but I did, if just barely."
Everything ached; his shoulders screamed, his hands felt like they had been rubbed raw in those gloves as he grabbed the next purchase, what of his legs he could feel were nothing more than white hot pain.
He blinked and suddenly he was looking at a very pale Hythlodaeus who had collapsed to his knees in Echo'a's lapse of awareness, Venat's hand still at his elbow and partially bent like she hadn't managed to keep herself and Hythlodaeus standing. Despite the horror written on Hythlodaeus's face, those vibrant purple eyes had yet to look away. "I dragged that broken body through the snow until it became too numb to feel pain and then got up and started walking. Or, well, trudging, but that's beside the point. I struggled to make it there, desperate to make it in time, not knowing if I was already too late. I fully expected to stumble into that camp to find the snow soaked crimson and the only soul alive being in my body. But I didn't; I made it there just as my hijacked body did and somehow interrupted the first attack on my friends. And outside of getting my body back and no one dead who shouldn't be, the only thing I got out of it was the inability to sleep alone anymore and even more expectations from far too many people to save the world."
He looked to Emet-Selch and found the man had gained back some of his closed off composure. There were still signs of pain and horror in how taut the muscles were in his jaw and around his eyes. "I never shared it or other experiences because they were the least important thing you needed to know and my failing to care about going back home or not is irrelevant." Emet-Selch opened his mouth to counter him but Echo'a shook his head, cutting the man off. "What comes to pass will come to pass regardless if you knew every insignificant detail of every single thing I've lived through. I would much rather deal with the here and now until I'm forced to do something else than wallow in your pity. So please: allow us to hear the rest of the report and go from there. Afterwards you can take her to the Convocation should that be the next needed step."
The world seemed to hold its breath before Emet-Selch sighed heavily. "Fine. But not here. If she gets flighty again, I refuse to chase her around again."
"If I may," Hermes spoke up with a slight waver to his voice. "The Prime Artifice: Celestial Sphere of Ktisis Hyperboreia may work for our needs. As Overseer, I can have all of the Aerial and Prime Artifice cleared of other scholars and observers, allowing us privacy as well. Without flight, there is only one way in and out."
Emet-Selch glanced over their heads at Venat and Hythlodaeus, though Echo'a assumed he was looking to Hythlodaeus specifically. Concern faintly creased the man's forehead. "It will have to do." Emet-Selch pinned Hermes with a stern look. "You will lead the way. If you try anything, I will not hesitate to call this whole thing off and drag you both to Amaurot."
Hermes straightened, fear clear as the tension never bled out as he quickly agreed, "Y-yes, of course. I understand."
Echo'a turned back to Hermes in time to catch sight of Hythlodaeus rushing past them in Emet-Selch's direction. Venat, for her part, was slowly approaching him and Hermes but she caught his gaze and smiled gently, keeping her distance. He nodded his appreciation.
Hermes had knelt before Meteion by the time he covered the distance Emet-Selch had forced between them. He was tempted to touch Hermes's shoulder but thought better on it. "Well that certainly could have gone better," he offered, standing at Hermes's shoulder instead.
"Thank you."
He shook his head. "You shouldn't. My intentions were far from benevolent."
Hermes met his gaze. "Because you are trying to save our future." He nodded. A soft, crooked little smile pulled at Hermes's lips. "Even if that may be so, you kept the situation from escalating and that alone deserves thanks." Hermes's gaze returned to Meteion and his words took on a sad tone. "To think I had wholly considered going up against the Emet-Selch to keep her out of his hands."
Echo'a crossed his arms, offering rather flatly, "He would have deserved it. The man's a bit too impatient for what the situation calls for. While I get there's obviously some threat, jumping the gun like that wasn't going to serve anyone, regardless of whether or not the information is pertinent to what is happening in the future."
"You don't think they're related?"
He snorted. "I think it would be a bit too convenient, but no; there's as much of a chance that what the Meteia have discovered is relevant as much as it could be another wild goose chase. Even if I were to not hear the rest of the report, I think the information about dynamis would be enough but I want to be sure." He returned his arms to his side with a shrug. "Besides, where would that leave all of you? If this is something unrelated that I can help with, I want to help."
"Even if it risks you not having a home to go back to?"
He couldn't help but chuckle at that. "Technically I've been running that risk since before I got sent here." Hermes's gaze snapped to his face, startling him. "What?" he asked when Hermes didn't outright say something. He gestured vaguely back towards where he had been standing. "I thought I had already said as much."
"No- well, yes, you did, but that wasn't-" Hermes stood and faced him. "What do you mean by 'before you were sent here'?"
He blinked, confused. "There was never any guarantee that I'd be able to return the way I came. Elidibus seemed confident enough that I would be able to but I'm aware things happen. At minimum, the portal that I walked through - the connection between my present and yours - would have to still exist." Hythlodaeus calling his name interrupted anything else that might have been said. When their eyes met, Hythlodaeus gestured for him to approach. He nodded before looking back to Hermes one last time, touching the man's arm as he turned to leave. "That aside, I wanted to make sure you knew you weren't alone in this. That, with everything, there's still hope."
Hermes hesitated like he wanted to say something but all Echo'a received was a nod.
He glanced at Emet-Selch seated in the saddle of his mount as he came to a stop before Hythlodaeus. Hythlodaeus offered him an encouraging smile but it was Emet-Selch who said, "You will be riding with us."
"If that will be alright," Hythlodaeus was quick to add.
Echo'a blinked. "I was under the assumption I would be riding there on Argos."
"You still can," Hythlodaeus assured him, "but we were hoping that you would ride with us so that we could talk."
This time he looked to Emet-Selch. "Talk?"
That mildly annoyed but otherwise neutral mask on Emet-Selch's face was tightly in place as Hythlodaeus explained, "An overdue conversation that will remain civil, I promise." Hythlodaeus's hand closed tentatively around his upper arm, drawing his gaze back to the vibrant purple eyes. "Please, Echo'a. Before we no longer have a chance to."
With one last glance between the pair, he sighed. "Fine. Where am I sitting?"
"In front of Emet-Selch." He raised both eyebrows at that, looking to the named spot. Hythlodaeus chuckled, the hand that had been on his arm touching his hip. "Here, face me."
Confused, he did as he was told and turned his back to Emet-Selch and the mount. Hythlodaeus didn't explain anything as the man grasped his hips and hefted him into the air. Emet-Selch's hands were quick to slip under his arms and lift him the rest of the way, sitting him sideways on the front of the saddle. His entire left side was flush with Emet-Selch's chest, his legs draped over the man's left leg. "Do I weigh nothing to you two?" he asked in shock, watching as Emet-Selch took Hythlodaeus's hand and assisted the other up onto the saddle behind him, though it had looked as if Hythlodaeus had done so effortlessly.
Hythlodaeus chuckled as Emet-Selch's arm pressed against his back as the man gripped at the front of the saddle to keep him in place. "You are not particularly heavy, no."
"Rather fitting, seeing as your aether is so thin," Emet-Selch pointed out, though it sounded distracted. The next words from Emet-Selch explained why as the man called out, "I would like for this to not take all day, Hermes."
Echo'a glanced over to see Venat sitting on Argos's back and a massive being holding Meteion. "Is that…is that Hermes?" he asked, though his voice barely carried beyond the back of Emet-Selch's mount.
"That it is," Hythlodaeus answered, Emet-Selch's attention fully on the other two. "Thankfully he chose to transform when Emet-Selch wasn't paying him any mind or we might not have gotten the chance to talk."
"Shush, you," Emet-Selch shot at Hythlodaeus, the words almost fond, as Hermes took off. Argos took two bounding leaps before following. Emet-Selch's arm tightened around Echo'a. "Do not move overly much. I would rather not risk dropping you."
Hythlodaeus's hand settled on the outside of Echo'a's right knee as Emet-Selch's mount took to the sky. The initial jolt shoved him more into Emet-Selch but both of their touches kept him well and immobile as they followed after Hermes and Venat. A wash of aether cut through the sudden wind, returning it to a strong breeze as they cut through the air.
"I owe you an apology," Emet-Selch spoke first, surprising Echo'a. The man met his wide-eyed gaze steadily. The neutral mask was gone, replaced by regret and determination. "I have been unnecessarily cruel and antagonistic when it has been made obvious time and time again that you have not been lying. With my initial reaction to your story - one that I am…still struggling to comprehend - and the context for which it contained, it has become apparent why omitting the truth was a necessity and not the slight I had originally perceived it as."
Echo'a shook his head, brushing the acknowledgement aside. His words came off more tired than dismissive; he didn't care to correct it. "What's done is done. The apology is appreciated but unnecessary. I have never held it against you."
Emet-Selch's arm flexed against his back at the same time frustration flickered across Emet-Selch's expression. "You should. With my actions I caused you harm, both mentally and physically." Echo'a rolled his eyes even as his expression twisted in distaste at such an idea. It wasn't a big deal and it certainly wouldn't be the first time he would have to manage on his own. He opened his mouth to say as much but Emet-Selch kept going. "You did not sleep last night." He dropped Emet-Selch's gaze at that, unable to hold that piercing gaze in the light of the truth. Hythlodaeus's hand carded through his hair and he found himself turning into the contact. "And what sleep you may have managed was far from restful. Your lack of balance when I pulled you away from Hermes was telling enough."
Echo'a gave in and dropped his head onto Emet-Selch's shoulder, face turned towards the man's shoulder. Hythlodaeus's hand continued running through his hair even as he tried to brush that comment off too. "The byproduct of the life I lead. Hardly anything that is your responsibility."
"But something that we can assist with, regardless."
Echo'a gave a non-committal hum, not about to argue that. He was tired enough as it was. Emet-Selch's arm shifted slightly against his back until the man's hand settled against his thigh. Aether, warm and gentle, started to flow in at the point of contact. He sagged against Emet-Selch, not looking too deeply at the relief that rushed him at the transfer.
It helped that Hythlodaeus didn't give him any time to do so anyway. The hand in his hair tapped his head gently and he shifted his head against Emet-Selch's shoulder to meet those vibrant purple eyes. There was tension in Hythlodaeus's soft smile, a strain of worry in among the content. "When we have sorted things out with Hermes and the Meteia, will you tell us the full story? All of it, properly, without leaving anything out."
"It's not the kindest of tales."
Hythlodaeus chuckled, amusement doing little to hide the sadness that joined the worry in his expression. "I have no doubt. You have endured far more than any single soul should and that is simply from what of it we have heard." That smile fell. "We are aware that it will not be easy to hear, let alone tell, so we ask knowing that you may not be all that willing to share. However, before you return home, we want to properly know you and your struggles. That way we can remember the real you instead of the false truths we have been working with upon our first meeting."
Warmth filled his chest and burned his throat. He offered Hythlodaeus a smile but only managed half of it. "Only if I get to hear about the lives you two have lived so far." '-remember us. Remember…that we once lived,' rang in his head and that warmth turned into an ache, stealing his weak smile. "The least I can do is remember you both in turn. Especially after everything you have done for me."
"Oh, Echo'a," Hythlodaeus said, the words thick with emotions as Emet-Selch stopped giving him aether and hugged him. Emet-Selch's face found his hair and the man muttered into it, "The least you can do is keep on living; to be selfish and live a long, happy life when this is all said and done. You owe us nothing else." He shook his head but he lacked the words to counter the man's words. Emet-Selch didn't give him a chance even if he had. "Do not think for a moment that we will not make sure you get home. Your path home still remains and we will see it stay that way until you return to where you belong."
Hythlodaeus's voice was kind and steady as he added, "As much as we would love to have you stay with us and show you the world as it is now, Emet-Selch is right." Emet-Selch's face left his hair but he didn't bother looking up to meet either gaze. "You do not belong here and it will most likely start to take its toll if you remain for too long."
"It seems we have arrived," Emet-Selch said as the mount's angle shifted under them.
"Promise us," Hythlodaeus carefully demanded, drawing Echo'a's gaze, "that when we send you home you will not fight us on it."
He dragged his arm out from where it was squished against Emet-Selch and reached around to touch Hythlodaeus's leg. Hythlodaeus's hand left his hair and took hold of his hand, squeezing it. He returned the squeeze as he promised, "I won't fight you but only if you will not argue that there may be a chance I won't be able to."
Both Hythlodaeus's hand and Emet-Selch's arm tightened around him as Hythlodaeus nodded, offering a curt, "Of course. And should that come to pass, you will not be alone in dealing with it."