Kiss the Prisoner

by Captain Spock

[Slay the Princess] The Prisoner and the Slayer both know the Narrator will possess him if he tries to free her. Can they establish trust between them and come up with a plan to outwit the Narrator when He can hear every word they speak? (What if you could kiss the Prisoner?)

1. Kiss the Prisoner

The Narrator: "The door to the basement creaks open, revealing an old stone staircase. A few sputtering torches attempt to vaguely illuminate your path, dancing across glimmering patches of slimy moss on the stone steps. If the Princess lives here, slaying her would probably be doing her a favour. Her voice, harsh but controlled, carries up the stairs."

The Princess: "Is that a visitor I hear? Please, come downstairs. It's been a while since I've had company."

Voice of the Skeptic: "Does she remember us?"

The Narrator: "Clearly she doesn't, and can't. The sooner you drop this nonsense about having been here before, the better it will be. Your delusions will only distract you from your mission. You walk downstairs and lock eyes with the Princess. She looks up at you, the heavy collar around her neck clanking loudly as she moves, the chains binding both her wrists to the far wall joining the metallic chorus as she adjusts her hands in her lap.

Voice of the Hero: "Should we be worried about the one around her neck?"

The Narrator: "Why would you be worried about her restraints? If anything, they'll make your job easier."

The Princess: "What an interesting development. Why don't you have a seat? The two of us should chat before you bury that thing in my heart."

(· [Sit with her])

The Narrator: "You step towards the Princess, but she stops you before you get too close, holding up one shackled hand."

The Princess: "There is fine. I'd prefer we keep some distance until we've sorted this out."

Hero: "That's reasonable, we do have a weapon. Might as well put her at ease."

(· [Sit where you were told to sit.])

The Narrator: "You do as she asks and sit on the floor, still a good distance away from her."

The Princess: "Thank you."

(· "So… here we are. What an awkward start to a relationship.")

The Narrator: "The Princess raises an eyebrow and sighs, resting her head in a shackled hand."

The Princess: "A relationship? Are you coming onto me?"

(· "Don't jump to any weird conclusions. We're two people who have met each other. By definition, we have a relationship.")

Hero: "Wait, does that mean-"

Skeptic: "Yes, it does."

The Narrator: "No, it doesn't. Any interest the Princess shows in you is purely meant to cloud your mind. Remember, her charms are all part of the deception."

The Princess: "Now, what are your intentions towards me?"

(· "My intentions? What do you mean?")

The Princess: "Yes, your intentions. You have a knife. What are you going to do with it? Why are you here? There isn't a keyhole in these shackles, so I'm afraid my only way out is surgical removal."

Hero: "Uhh, did she forget about the one around her neck?"

Skeptic: "Or does she think she'd survive a beheading?"

The Narrator: "Yes, perhaps she's delusional. It would be fitting for a world-ender."

Skeptic: "She's wrong, though, there's another way we could remove her shackles."

(· "Actually, there's a sturdy metal table bolted to the floor upstairs. I might be able to dismantle it with the blade and then use its pieces as crowbars to break your chains.")

The Narrator: "As if by divine will, you hear a door slam. There is no need for you to go upstairs until your task is finished, and you will not enjoy what happens if you try to break the Princess out."

Hero: "That's not fair!"

The Narrator: "Let me just reiterate that the entire world is at stake here. What seems unfair to you is fair for everyone else. I will not allow you to stray from your task and doom everyone."

Skeptic: "Huh, loose lips sink ships, I see how it is."

The Princess: "How surprising. They locked you down here too."

(· "No point in trying the door, I think.")

The Princess: "Yes, and no point in making small talk either. Be a good bird and let me borrow that knife. Don't worry, you'll get it back."

Hero: "That's… ominous."

Skeptic: "But she seems confident. Whatever it is she has planned, I think she knows what she's doing."

The Narrator: "She's probably just bluffing to disarm you, but if she does have a plan that's all the more reason not to just give her your only weapon. Aside from the obvious threat to the world's existence, arming your enemy is an excellent way for you to end up dead."

(· "Whatever you plan to do with it, you can tell me and let me do it.")

The Princess: "Hah. No, I don't think I can tell you, nor trust you to come any closer to me armed. All you're going to do is hand the blade to me and watch me work."

Hero: "But… surely she can't be planning to cut her head off?"

Skeptic: "Maybe she knows something we don't. Of course, what's good for her might not be good for us. I doubt there's any truth to her ending the world, but a freed Princess might still, for example, decide to cut our throat."

Hero: "Oh, right! Then what should we do?"

Skeptic: "I don't know yet. Find out more information, but carefully. Figure out who we can trust and who we can't in this situation. We know we can trust us, and we know we can't trust Him, but I don't know about her yet."

The Narrator: "You can't trust me?! What did I ever do to you? I have been nothing but clear about your mission, and you shouldn't require any explanation why I want you to save the world and might intervene to keep you from going astray."

(· "I have a bad feeling about what might happen if I hand you the blade. You might say I've got an irrational fear of people cutting my throat once they're armed.")

The Narrator: "The Princess stares straight into your eyes."

The Princess: "Then let me assure you: if you gave me the blade, the only reason I would ever use it on you would be if you suddenly turned around and threatened my life. If I couldn't recognise the being behind your eyes any more and I thought I was in immediate mortal danger. If it was my only way to escape, then yes, I would cut your throat, but only if things were that dire. I'd do it without malice and I think I would later wish I hadn't had to kill you. But if my actions were necessary, I would still stand by them. But you do not look threatening or aggressive right now, and as long as you're no danger to me, I'll be no danger to you."

The Narrator: "If you need any more proof you can't trust the Princess, just read between the lines. Even when trying to reassure you, she threatens you with death."

Skeptic: "Oh, we're reading between the lines, alright."

Hero: "Yeah, don't you think the only reason she might be dangerous is because of the likes of you locking her up and trying to slay her?"

Skeptic: "Maybe we should let her have the blade. I'd rather take a chance on her than on Him."

The Narrator: "No, you can't just do that. It's far, far too risky, not just to you, but to the entire world… No. I can't just let you do that. Your hand grips the blade tightly as your body-"

Skeptic: "On second thought, we shouldn't let her have the blade. Who knows what'd happen if we did? Better to keep it on us."

The Narrator: "That's better. The only way in which you should give Princess your weapon is if you gave it point-first directly to her heart."

(· "I'm sorry, I don't think I can give you the blade. I don't think either of us would like what would happen if I tried. Nothing could possess me to just let you have it.")

The Narrator: "The Princess sighs and slumps a bit under her heavy chains."

The Princess: "Great. Now what?"

(· "Well, I don't want to slay you.")

The Princess: "And I don't want to be slain. Glad we're on the same page."

(· "But I can't free you. I think you'll just need to stay here for a while.")

The Narrator: "The Princess draws a sharp breath, her eyes shooting wide open."

The Princess: "Don't leave me here!"

(· "I wasn't going to, I don't even think I can.")

The Princess: "Just… promise me you'll take me with you."

(· "I promise.")

The Narrator: "The Princess slumps under the weight of her chains again, the panic fading from her eyes."

The Princess: "Thank you."

(· "I just meant, we can't really do much at the moment, so let's just sit and talk for a bit.")

The Princess: "I don't like small talk."

(· "Then let's have big talk. Let's tell each other about ourselves.")

The Narrator: "The Princess's eyes narrow."

The Princess: "You first."

Hero: "She still doesn't trust us."

Skeptic: "I get it, but if only there existed some kind of harmless gab that allowed people to establish some basis of trust first before they move on to bigger topics. We could call it 'small talk'."

Hero: "Yeah, well, guess we can start if it helps her trust us."

The Narrator: "I don't know what you're hoping to accomplish here, but be very careful what information you share with the Princess."

Skeptic: "Oh, we're being careful with our information, alright."

(· "I'm… me? And I came from… a path in the woods?")

The Princess: "Wow, how enlightening and revealing. You truly have some hidden depths."

Skeptic: "Where did we come from?"

(· "Okay, how about this: there's three voices in my head. Two of them are me, and I like them a lot. There's my Hero, he's brave and naïve and kind. He's always looking out for the right thing to do, and he wants to do right by you in particular. I think he likes you, actually.")

Hero: "Oh, come on, you didn't have to tell her that part. Do you... really think I'm brave and kind, though?"

(· "He gets easily flustered by the truth. And then there's my Skeptic. He's clever, wise, erudite, methodical. He's slow to trust and questions everything, but only as far as is reasonable. He's constantly crafting new plans for us.")

Skeptic: "Thank you, I do try."

The Princess: "Sounds like a prudent Voice. What does he think of me?"

(· [Repeat after the Voice of the Skeptic] "He's… not sure he can trust you yet, but he wants to help you if we can. At the very least, keeping you locked up alone in these heavy chains is inhumane and he wants to find a way to release you. He's also curious about you, he enjoys trying to figure you out. Wink.")

The Princess: "Did you… just say 'wink' out loud?"

Skeptic: "Wink."

The Princess: "Pleasure to meet you, Voices. You sound… nice. I didn't realise I was talking to more than one. But two Voices aren't all that's inside you, are they?"

The Narrator: "Do not tell the Princess about me."

(· "No. There's also the Narrator, an intruder. I don't know where he came from, but it wasn't from me. He narrates everything that happens to me, and keeps telling me to slay you. He… possesses a great deal of confidence that he's right. I thought he was just a nuisance at first, but… y'know.")

The Narrator: "I'm confident I'm right because I am right. It was very unwise to share knowledge of my existence with the Princess. Whatever game you're playing is incredibly dangerous."

Skeptic: "All in the service of winning her trust. Don't you think that could be useful?"

The Narrator: "Not as useful as simply slaying her and getting it over with. The longer you wait, the greater the chance she'll figure out a way to escape and you are dangerously compromised already. I'm allowing you to do whatever it is you think you're doing for now, but know that my patience is running low and the risk you're putting the world at is high. If I need to intervene to save the world-"

Skeptic: "There's no need for that, we do have a plan."

The Narrator: "Perhaps, but if your plan's goal is not to slay the Princess, just know that I'm watching your every move closely. Either way, the Princess simply nods slowly at your words."

The Princess: "Sounds like you do have a rich inner life. I can't say I have any voices in my head. Just me. It was… lonely before you arrived. I can't even recall how long I've been here, I've just… forgotten. At least it's been more interesting since you showed up, the view has improved, but after all this time all I've got left is just… I want to get out. There's nothing I wouldn't sacrifice to feel the breeze."

The Narrator: "The Princess sighs and slumps even further under the weight of her chains, looking down at her lap."

Hero: "This isn't right, locking someone up all isolated and restrained. No comfort or nothing."

Skeptic: "Yeah. Nothing here without a purpose, aside from that other chain… I wonder what it's for."

Hero: "Does it matter? It looks like she can barely even lie down on the stone floor to sleep with those chains on her. Who did this to her? Was it you?"

The Narrator: "People did this, and they had very good reasons to do so. Letting the Princess play on your sympathy is incredibly dangerous."

(· "Do those chains hurt you?")

The Princess: "I'm not sure… I think so. It's been so long it's like the feeling is just a part of me. I just… want to be free. If it came to it, I'd rather die than live on like this."

The Narrator: "As I've told you before, slaying the Princess would probably be doing her a favour."

Skeptic: "There are other ways to offer her relief."

(· "I could… hold the chains for you for a while? Take some of their weight off you.")

The Narrator: "The Princess stares at you sharply."

The Princess: "Letting you get behind me would be a huge risk to take. What could possibly possess me to trust you like that?"

Hero: "Oh, we should drop the blade to show her we mean no harm."

The Narrator: "Do not disarm yourself, especially to approach the Princess. I can't let you make such a catastrophic mistake."

Skeptic: "Actually, I'm with Him on this. Call it a hunch, but I'd rather not face her unarmed."

Hero: "Even now? I thought we wanted to save her?"

Skeptic: "Yeah, well, we can't save her, and a cornered animal might make desperate leaps. We can offer her comfort without risking our life."

The Narrator: "The Princess doesn't deserve comfort."

Skeptic: "Funny, I didn't take you for a cruel person. Desperate, yes, but not cruel."

The Narrator: "I am not, I'm simply trying to look out for the world's safety and continued existence."

Skeptic: "Then surely there's no harm in letting the Princess experience some relief before the end?"

Hero: "The end?"

The Narrator: "The end?"

Skeptic: "Well. As much as I hate to admit it, there's really no way to free her. And you heard what she said she'd choose if it came to it."

Hero: "You can't mean what I think you mean. There's always another way."

Skeptic: "A sudden death, unexpected and without fear, while she's experiencing some relief from her burdens might be the greatest kindness we could grant her."

The Narrator: "While I would caution you not to trust to those little Voices, because they're definitely up to something, this one does at least seem to have landed on a good idea. Proceed."

(· "I can't prove it to you, but you can trust me. I swear I won't let anything happen. Please let me help you.")

The Narrator: "The Princess silently stares deep into your eyes for a long time, still as a statue before deciding."

The Princess: "...Okay. I will trust you."

The Narrator: "Slowly, to show you mean no immediate harm, you stand up and walk to the Princess, letting her scooch over as she keeps her eyes boring into you the entire time. You gather up her chains and lay them over your shoulders as you sit down behind her, their heavy load weighing you down, only the weight of their last few links now on her. The Princess finally takes her keen eyes off you. She takes a moment to stretch her back, sighs and rolls her shoulders."

(· "Better?")

The Princess: "Much. I'd forgotten how it felt like, not being weighed down. It feels like I'm floating. Thank you. Put those hands to good use if you're gonna sit there anyway, I could use a massage."

Hero: "Woah, she's very direct, isn't she? Guess we'd better give it to her."

The Narrator: "What you should be giving her is a quick stab in the back."

Skeptic: "Have some patience, there's no need to rush into anything. Let the poor thing have her comfort."

(· "As you wish." [Massage the Princess])

The Narrator: "You brush the Princess's hair aside and gently run your hands over her bare shoulders, already feeling the tight knots and severe tension underneath. Although her tensed up muscles are not particularly big, you can feel a dangerous wiry strength in them. You gently dig your hands in, softly kneading her sore flesh. Your own body is already starting to tire and stiffen up from the chains' weight, it's hard to imagine how the Princess must feel after so long. She sighs and closes her eyes, leans on you a bit."

(· "Like this?")

The Princess: "Yes. A little harder… I'll miss this…"

The Narrator: "As you roll the muscles of the Princess's shoulders, her chain preventing you from showing the same kind of attention to her neck, you feel her slowly relax. Her breaths deep and slow, she slowly moves closer, scooches up between your legs, lets herself sink against your body more and more. It actually makes it hard to get to the muscles of her back, but you don't mind, there's plenty of work to do rubbing the rest of her shoulders. You let your hands wrap around their front, pressing your thumbs into the tops of her shoulders while letting your other fingers reach to her armpits and roll the muscle there, tracing them down just a little as you feel her body become softer. The Princess just about melts against you, far more at ease than you're ever seen her before. Her chained hand finds your knee and softly runs elegant fingers through your plumage. Neither of you speak a word for a long time, simply existing in comfort at each other's proximity, the Princess's heavy restrictive burden finally relieved."

Hero: "This is… good. I'm glad we can let her have this at least."

The Narrator: "Just don't forget why you're here."

Skeptic: "The plan, you mean? Don't worry, we'll get to the plan."

The Narrator: "After what seems like ages of soft affection and comfortable silence, the Princess slowly turns in your lap to face you, her body splayed all over yours, her chains crossing themselves between you. Her face is as impassive as ever, yet looks more at ease, the barest hint of a smile tugging at the corners of her mouth and eyes. She stares into your eyes intensely, holding your gaze. Then she throws her arms around your shoulders and embraces you tightly."

The Princess: "Thank you."

The Narrator: "She whispers it in your ear and then, ugh, you feel the soft touch of a kiss on your cheek. She keeps her lips in place for a couple seconds as you just take her in all over you, the soft warmth of her body clashing with the unpleasantly hard chains running between you. You could stay like this forever. Then the moment is interrupted by a sudden rush of movement. A shove and a kick turn you around, the Princess wraps her chains around your neck and arms in a single fluid move. She leans back, bracing her body against yours, her full chained weight pulling on you, forcing you to the ground. The chain links constrict around your windpipe as the Princess heaves with a loosely muscled intensity."

The Princess: "Drop the knife or you die!"

Hero: "Wh-what? But I thought we-"

Skeptic: "There'll be time to think later, we should do as she says right now. Not like we have much choice."

The Narrator: "I warned you about the Princess's wiles, but thankfully, while strangulation takes time, being stabbed is much quicker. You have plenty of time to slay her."

(· [Drop the blade])

The Narrator: "No, you- Your body holds on to the blade tightly."

Skeptic: "Sorry, already dropped it. Split second decision in the heat of combat and all that."

The Narrator: "Ugh, of all the incompetent… Yes, it seems you dropped the blade. The Princess spins around and shoves you away with a swift kick, releasing you from her stranglehold. As you come to on the ground, regaining your senses, you look up at her in a daze."

The Princess: "Thanks again. That wasn't so hard, was it?"

The Narrator: "She pulls up her hair, smiling slightly as she raises the blade to her throat."

Hero: "What is she doing?"

The Narrator: "She doesn't say another word as she cuts into her own neck."

Hero: "No!"

The Narrator: "Her eyes stare into you, unblinking, as she saws through skin, veins, and cartilage. At last she reaches bone, the blade grinding audibly against her vertebrae as it continues to slice its way through her neck."

Skeptic: "Huh. So that's her plan."

Hero: "Killing herself?"

Skeptic: "She ain't dead yet."

The Narrator: "She's actually doing your job for you, did she really mean what she said about rather dying than remaining imprisoned? You hear a snap. Her eye twitches. There's an uneasy silence. She remains motionless for a long moment, her twitching eye the only movement in the room, until at last it stops in an unsettling half-wink. Her head twists slowly to the side, flopping to her shoulder and her neck… opens. The remaining tissue is not enough to hold the weight of her severed head. It stretches and tears until finally, it falls to the floor, completely free. It bounces a few times before rolling to a stop at your feet."

Hero: "Oh nonononono, what did we do? Can we put it back? Please tell me we can put it back!"

The Narrator: "The Princess's head stares up at you, dead. Congratulations, you have saved the world!"

Hero: "No, no, this is horrible, I hate this, can we please leave?"

The Narrator: "Of course. You hear the door upstairs unlock. You have saved the world, despite your lack of determination, and it's time for you to receive your reward."

Skeptic: "We should take her with us, don't you think?"

The Narrator: "Why on Earth would you do that?"

Skeptic: "I can think of lots of reasons. Proof of our victory. A trophy. To give her a proper funeral."

The Narrator: "You don't need proof, and the Princess doesn't deserve a proper funeral."

Skeptic: "Even now, when you've won, you still can't let her have anything, can you? All I'm saying is we should treat her with a little dignity. It's not like a little compassion will be the end of the world."

Hero: "I get what you're saying, but I just can't look at her any more, can we please just go? Why'd we have to keep the knife on us…?"

(· [Take the Princess's head])

The Narrator: "Yuck, fine. You lift the Princess's head by the hair, her severed neck still oozing various fluids. With your grim trophy in hand, you head up the stairs, returning to the cabin's first floor."

Hero: "Wait, did she just move?"

The Narrator: "Do I need to explain to you why decapitation is lethal? If there was any movement, it will have been the result of gravity and you handling her head like it's a garbage bag. Regardless, it is time for you to receive your reward. You open the cabin door, ready to return to a world saved from certain doom. Only, a world saved from certain doom isn't what you find. Instead what you find is – wait, no, that's not right."

The Princess: "Very well played. I'm so glad my trust wasn't misplaced."

The Narrator: "What? How can this be? No, she got out, this… this is the end of the world! You and the Princess… share a laugh at my expense about it? Were you plotting against me the whole time? What have you…"

Hero: "She's still alive?"

Skeptic: "I thought so, she clearly had a plan and it couldn't just be a plan to die. She could've asked us for that directly."

(· "I'm so glad you're still alive!")

The Princess: "(sighs) And I'm so glad to finally be free. How's our intruder doing?"

(· "I think He's gone. We beat Him, we can finally speak freely!")

The Princess: "Fantastic. But first things first, this is no way to hold a Princess. Sit down with your knees up and hold me between them so we can talk face-to-face."

Hero: "Oh. Yeah, guess we shouldn't hold her by the hair. In our defence, we were a bit shook by the whole decapitation business."

Skeptic: "We'll do as she asks, sit down on the hillside and hold her between our knees at eye level."

The Princess: "That's much better. Sorry about the strangulation, I had to make it look good for your Narrator."

(· "I was wondering when you'd go for the blade. We were stringing Him along by pretending we were gonna stab you in the back eventually.")

Hero: "Oh, was that why-"

Skeptic: "Yep. Had to keep Him happy somehow so He didn't try and take over our body again."

The Princess: "I was gonna do it sooner, but that massage was such a nice goodbye to my body. At least all that's behind us now. There's a lot I'm gonna need you to do soon, starting with retrieving my tiara, because you dropped it when you picked me up, and while you're at it you can break my body out too with that crowbar plan of yours. But let's just take a break for now."

(· "Wish I hadn't talked about that crowbar plan, maybe you wouldn't have had to cut off your head.")

The Princess: "...You can't see it but I just shrugged my shoulders. It's not like He would've actually let you go through with all that without possessing you again. And it made it obvious to both of us that loose lips sink ships. Besides, this is but a small sacrifice to feel the breeze… It feels so good to be out of there. Thank you again for playing along so well."

Hero: "Sorry, how'd we come up with a plan anyway? I think I missed that."

Skeptic: "We told each other everything we needed to know, just carefully so He wouldn't figure it out. And then we just had to trust each other a bit and get the blade to her. I figured she probably knew what she was doing, and she did make us promise not to leave her behind after all."

(· "You're welcome. Thank you for not cutting my throat this time.")

The Princess: "Thank you for keeping us clear of you getting possessed again, I did not enjoy that. Could you… Lie back and lay me on your chest? I'd like to look up at the stars."

(· "Sure. Are the stars the only reason?" [Lay down and let the Princess lie on your chest])

The Princess: "No, you're also quite comfortable, more so than the ground, I'd imagine."

(· "Also you'd probably roll downhill.")

The Princess: "Heh. Shut up. You know, you're the first time I ever felt comfort?"

Skeptic: "That's awful to think about. And… odd, but then again it's not like we can remember anything that happened before the first time on the path either. We'll need to investigate our memories later."

Hero: "Let's just… pet her hair a little. Show her we care."

(· "That's… pretty sad.")

The Princess: "It is what it is. I could get used to this, though."

(· "Me being your pillow?")

The Princess: "Yes. And you doing what I say and helping me out."

Hero: "It does, like, feel kind of good to be of service to her and all, doesn't it?"

(· "Then what would you have me do, Princess?")

The Princess: "Hmm. You may pick me up and hold me to face you."

Skeptic: "We'll hold her gently, cupping her cheeks this time."

Hero: "She's uh, got a bit of a smirk going, doesn't she? Do all her smiles have to look so ominous? It's like she can see right into us… Uh, if you can, hi Princess?"

The Princess: "Good bird. Brush my hair out of my face."

Hero: "Really shouldn't have dropped her tiara, helping her out with her hair is the least we can do, I guess. There, much better already."

The Princess: "Thanks. Now you may kiss me."

Hero: "Bwuh? Just like that?"

Skeptic: "If you don't want to we can say no. But I'm up for it, I'm rather enjoying her games."

Hero: "No, I'd, uh, definitely like to kiss her, just wasn't expecting it. She really knows what she wants, huh? I like that."

Skeptic: "Yeah. So let's give it to her. We'll take a deep breath and steel our nerves, meet her clever eyes and her smirk. Her being reduced to simply a head, we'll slowly lower her towards us, gently and smoothly. We can match her smile, give her a little eyebrow raise before we lock in and close our eyes. And then… Well, it's good, isn't it?"

Hero: "Uh, yeah it is. Gentle and delicate, her lips are soft and warm. The way she responds feels free, unbothered and unrestrained, yet calm. It's just a little kiss, but, y'know, a real good one. We lift her up a bit again but keep her close to us, where we want her, just a touch away. There's a real cheekiness to that dark smile of hers."

The Princess: "Good bird. I think I'm gonna be just fine…"