Chapter 96, everybody! After some delay, time to battle Blaine! We'll pretend that I haven't had this one written out even before the Mewtwo arc….

So one of my trainers in a PKMNARPG I participate in is a rock hound so I ended up learning a lot of different rock terms sticking with that naming theme. And yes, lava is nothing to mess with it's molten rock that is several thousand degrees Fahrenheit the only good news is you most likely won't suffer long if you're daft enough to get close enough and fall in—not that you could get close enough, since the heat would be suffocating from a good stretch away. And yet yes, volcanic soil is very good for plants and is high in nutrients.

Okay so a few of you asked what happened to Blaine's riddles and…honestly it's been a while since I played Fire Red/Leaf Green and watching the OG season of Pokémon was spotty thanks to a combo of aerial television and movie rental stores. So…Blaine ended up having more of a Burt from Tremors and Marvin from RED vibe. Saying that, we're getting the Tepig and everything involving it is a full-on shoutout to the pig John Malkovich (Marvin) carries around in RED. With that in mind, Kovie and Malva the Magmar are named after Malkovich. Also Blaine quotes Gobber from the first How to Train Your Dragon movie.

Moving on—there's a book titled Extreme(ly Dumb) Sports by Paul Stanton and Ash's habit of spinning his hat around for battles and having that bite him is in reference to one of the pictures in it (it's a collection of Montana novelty postcards and we thought they were funny). And…okay listen when I do the battles for this fic I usually have the Serebii page for them open to Gen III moves (although sometimes I sample later gens) and apparently, Magmar could learn Teleport in Gen I—as could Mewtwo, in both cases via TM (although I'm very concerned that according to Bulbapedia, the Voltorb line could also learn Teleport via TM in Gen I).

And now for reviews: thanks to Dragonkeeper10, griffin blackwood, BlueBolt000, 0ne Swood Guy (if Darkrai's beak bothers you, just wait until I show a Sigilyph eating [some Pokémon translate weirdly when you try to apply normal biology to them, so yeah I get it]), Cyan Quartz, epantoja521, Chryssal, SkeletonBisque, thor94, Reader, BlastShooter87, leifjbj, and Cenobite for the reviews! As for the question as to why I'm not fond of rated M stories and the reasons suggested…yes.

Pokémon © Game Freak; Nintendo

And now, for something completely different:

At the request of Gym leaders such as Blaine and Flannery, the Pokémon League would like to remind you to not play around with lava. Lava is superheated rock and can flash-fry a person in an instant. It is not, in fact, red water, please stop trying to get near it.

"Now here's the important thing you have to know," Blaine said, as they exited the lava tube and climbed onto a minor plateau on the volcano's sloping side. "Lava, magma, paho, tephra, ash—"

"Yes?" Ash asked.

"Of the gray flaky variety—anything that comes from a volcano is nothing to mess with." Blaine stopped, pointed down at where some lava was oozing down the side of the volcano and towards the ocean. From where they stood it was just a trickle of red, but Ash could still feel the heat coming from it. "We're talking molten rock from the earth's core, of which only a select number of Pokémon species can tolerate touching. Anything else even gets close, and we're talking instant incineration."

Ash nodded. "So I'm guessing your point is this isn't TV lava."

"I had my Magmar use Rock Blast on my last TV because of people being stupid with lava. Oi. We had more people having accidents with the lava than we did anything else, and of those who survived, they all were of the opinion that the lava wasn't how it was on TV."

"I feel like this is a sore point."

"You have NO idea."

Magmar nodded sagely.

"Okay, so my question is why live near a volcano, followed quickly by why live in it?" Misty said, reaching over her shoulder to assure herself that Togepi was still in her pack.

"Living near a volcano can be explained by how fertile volcanic soil is," Blaine explained, gesturing down to where greenery rioted near the base and across the island. "As for living in the volcano…well, my fire Pokémon like it, and usually people don't bother me here."

"Sorry?" Ash noised.

"Ah, forget it. You wanted that battle, right?" Blaine asked, looking at Ash. When Ash nodded vigorously, Blaine turned to his Magmar and pointed off to a cave just a short pathway away. "Come on, Kovie! We're getting the Tepig!"

The Magmar cheered and led the charge down to the cave, leaving the others standing there and feeling more than a little stunned.

"Tepig?" Ash asked finally, looking at Brock. "I thought you said he had to prioritize Kanto Pokémon."

"That's it, he's definitely cracked," Misty declared.

"Maybe we should follow him," Brock said, gingerly picking his way down after Blaine. Ash followed, Misty bringing up the rear.

It became quickly evident after a few feet that Blaine was used to traversing this particular rocky territory—even Brock, who arguably was the one who climbed around such evirons the most on a regular basis growing up, had some difficulty navigating the slope. By the time they reached the cave entrance and started down the lava tube, Blaine and his Magmar were coming back up the tube, Blaine with a stuffed Tepig doll tucked under his arm.

"No, no! We're not battling in here," Blaine said, shooing them out. "We don't want to risk destabilizing the volcano and making it erupt! See that flat bit over there?" he asked, pointing. "We'll be having our battle over there."

"All right," Ash cheered, already picking his way over as fast as he could.

"Ash, you won't be able to have a battle if you break your neck," Brock called, following him.

"Enthusiastic, isn't he?" he heard Blaine mutter.

"Let's be honest, we were expecting to find Missing-No before finding you," Misty told him.

"Missing-No exists!" Blaine said, pointing at her as they reached the 'flat bit' that he had pointed out. "It steals your socks, but only the left ones—what's with that?"

"How can you even tell a left sock from a right sock?"

"There are ways," Brock said sagely.

"True," Blaine agreed, nodding. "All right then! Assume battle positions!"

Ash saluted smartly, ran over to the other side of the small plateau, skidded to a halt and nearly had to sit down when the loose soil didn't stop his skid soon enough—as it was, he shot his hand down to the ground and had to wince at the obsidian cutting in. Loose mix of obsidian, pumice, and ash—poor footing, and the plateau was canted a bit, sloping downwards. Movement would be treacherous here, he realized.

"Yeah, don't do that," Blaine called. "How do you want to do this? Three on three or full-on team?"

Ash blinked at this. "Full-on team? Everyone before did three-on-three."

Blaine smirked. "Not everyone jumps off cliffs because everyone else does that."

Ash considered this—the only one who'd really suffer from battling here would be Frenzy, and if he could finish it before having to resort to the Parasect….

Brock seemed to guess what was going through his head. "Ash, consider strategy."

But Ash had already made his decision.

"All right!" he declared, spinning his hat around and pumping a fist out towards Blaine. "We'll do the full-on team! And when we win, you'll help us find Missing-No!"

"Pika!" Pikachu exclaimed, cheeks sparking.

"Perfect!" Blaine said, nodding at Misty and Brock. "Will one of you referee? I get the feeling Kovie won't call it fair."

The Magmar standing next to him started fiddling with its gold medal sheepishly.

Brock sighed and moved down the plateau until he was equidistant from the both of them. "This will be a full-on gym battle between Leader Blaine and Challenger Ash," he announced. "The battle isn't over until one party's team of six is entirely wiped out. Only the challenger may make substitutions. Any questions?"

There were none.

Brock nodded once. "All right then, begin!"

"Go, Pikachu!" Ash said, figuring he'd leave Lenny until later in the match.

Blaine, meanwhile, had unzipped a hidden pocket in the stuffed Tepig, pulled a Pokéball out and threw it. "Go, Sacha!"

The Pokéball burst open to reveal a gleaming Ninetails, twitching its tails up lightly to avoid getting them dirty on the scrabbly surface.

"Oh boy," Ash muttered, before raising his voice. "So that's what the Tepig's for."

"It gets the job done," Blaine confirmed, smirking a little before switching to strict business. "All right! Set up with Sunny Day!"

Ash blinked as the Ninetails fanned out its tails, fur glowing—cried out when the harsh sun became blinding.

"Now!" Blaine continued. "Double Team and set up Will-o-Wisp!"

"Guh!" Ash noised, frantically rubbing at his eyes—he didn't even want to think about what it was doing to Pikachu. "Pikachu! Agility and Double Team!" At the very least, he could make sure Pikachu could dodge whatever was coming at him.

"Ash! Turn your stupid hat around!" Misty ordered.

Oh yeah, that would help—grope for the hat brim, bring it back around, squint his eyes open….Still blinding, but at least he could somewhat see what was going on now.

And right now what he saw wasn't pretty.

It wasn't just the sun dazzling his eyes and leaving floating specks everywhere, he decided—not with the way Pikachu was leaning away from the little floating flames dancing everywhere. Will-o-Wisp was supposed to burn on contact and was often shot direct at the target—Blaine had made it into an arena trap, same as Stealth Rock or Spikes.

"Have fun dodging attacks," Blaine announced. "Flamethrower!"

Ulk.

"Straight up! Thunder!" Ash yelled, before diving for cover himself.

"Follow it!"

But Ash had hopes that Thunder would act as a temporary shield—spin around, ignoring the rocks digging into his elbows, squint against the sunlight to see Pikachu upping the amperage and trying to aim for Ninetails whilst being engulfed in flames. He missed, but at the very least he also didn't get fried—pained grunt when he landed on the scree.

Pikachu grunted in pain too when he landed—rolled, shook himself, tried to bite some of the rocks out of his fur—

"Do that later!" Ash yelped, spotting the Ninetails warming up another attack. "Uhhh Discharge!"

Pikachu let loose a fresh blistering attack, meeting the Fire Spin and disrupting it—unfortunately disrupting the Discharge too so it didn't hit Ninetails—

But it got rid of several of the Will-o-Wisps.

"All right!" Ash cheered—still couldn't get to speed without slipping, but at least they could maneuver again—

The Ninetails flicked its tails—renewed the Will-o-Wisps. "Aw man," Ash groaned.

"Gonna have to do better than that," Blaine said, grinning. "Start setting up, Sacha."

The Ninetails' tails started waving as its eyes glowed—Ash was guessing stat-boosting and protecting moves.

"Ugh—Thunder Shock!" Ash ordered. "Don't let it do whatever it's trying!"

"Psywave!"

A concentrated burst of psychic energy dissipated the shock.

"Discharge and then follow up with Thunder Shock!"

Barely even twitched at that, setting up Will-o-Wisp again. Ugh.

"Hmm…use Charge," Ash said, rocking back a step as he considered. The Ninetails would be able to nail them without ever moving—

Which meant the chances of it risking a dodge were slim.

"Okay, Pikachu, try again—but this time, do what you did to Surge's Raichu."

Pikachu's ears twitched at the odd order—

"Cha," he noised, cheeks sparking as he realized what Ash was after.

"Get ready to block, Sacha," Blaine warned.

"Remember Protect fails."

The two Pokémon and trainers evaluated each other for several strained seconds—

Discharge wiped out the Will-o-Wisps again, several Thunder Shocks made Protect break—

And under it, Pikachu charged through with Volt Tackle, paws slipping but still able to keep up enough speed to slam into Ninetails' chest and cause it to lose its footing—shock it again when it went down—

"Pain Split!" Blaine ordered.

"Hey!" Ash yelped, flinching as the two Pokémon glowed and Pikachu screamed. "What the—"

"Pain Split adds Sacha's current health to your Pikachu's and then splits the difference," Blaine explained. "Now Disable!"

Pikachu's Thunder move ceased, Ninetails managed to buck him off, sending him skidding—

Pikachu yelped as a renewed Will-o-Wisp singed his fur.

"Ugh," Ash noised, gritting his teeth. Think—think—moving was dangerous, head-on attacks didn't work…but it couldn't really risk using Pain Split again, it wouldn't make that much difference…shift his weight, slip a little on the scree—

Wait, weren't Fire types weak to Rock?

"Pikachu, Iron Tail on the ground, and make it shallow!" Ash ordered. Pikachu barked, spun around, tail glowing—

"Protect!" Blaine ordered—

"Discharge, Thunder Shock and Thunder Wave!"

Protect failed under the continued assault, Ninetails flinched from being Paralyzed—

"Volt Tackle, now!" Ash ordered.

"Endure!" Blaine countered. Pikachu hit, knocking Ninetails over—"Pain Split!"

"Ghh," Ash choked, flinching—right, Endure kept a Pokémon from fainting, barely—

"Extrasensory!"

Wait, what was that move?

What it was was some sort of screeching buzzing noise that made him clap his hands over his ears, made Pikachu fall back screaming—

"Flamethrower!" Blaine ordered.

Pikachu wasn't able to dodge it, was officially down for the count after that.

"Pikachu is unable to battle," Brock said. "Blaine takes the first round."

"Mag!" Blaine's Magmar cheered, as Ash retrieved Pikachu and carted him over to Misty, already waiting with several Burn Heals and Potions.

"Okay," Ash muttered. Ninetails couldn't take much more—"Go, Patches!"

Patches landed, roared—

"Will-o-Wisp," Blaine ordered.

Ash smirked. "Earth Power."

Blaine grimaced—

Returned Ninetails right before the first blast hit.

"You know that means you forfeit that round," Brock said.

"Let's spare Sacha the indignity," Blaine said. "Go, Malka!"

Another Magmar appeared on the field, roaring—and then flexing when his other Magmar started cheering.

"You two flirt later," Blaine ordered. "Smoke and mirrors, girl."

The Magmar on the field nodded, blew out a Smokescreen—

"Earth Power again," Ash ordered. Patches nodded, did so—

"Oi, watch it!" Blaine barked from the other side of the smoke.

"Sorry!" Ash called—

Yelped in alarm when the Magmar popped up, causing Patches to flail back and crash when he overbalanced, the Scary Face slowing him down—

And then hit him with Confuse Ray while he was distracted.

"Oh no," Ash muttered as Patches started flailing. "Patches, snap out of it!"

The Magmar was hopping around, cackling, footing sure despite the loose ground—started peppering Patches with all sorts of fire attacks until he stopped moving.

"Patches is unable to battle," Brock said, swallowing.

Ash could guess at Brock's trepidation—this Magmar had wiped out one of his stronger Pokémon without ever presenting a target. New plan, new plan—

"Go, Vee!" Ash said, tossing the Eevee out. "Sand Attack, Frenzy style!"

Vee shrieked, started flinging scree everywhere—

"Fire Spin!" Blaine ordered.

"Use Swift!"

"Fire Blast!"

"Quick Attack then Headbutt!"

Vee did so—rolled away screeching, batting at his singed head.

"Malka's ability is Flame Body," Blaine explained, right as the Magmar slapped Vee away with an Iron Tail. Vee rolled, struggled upright—

Went down to a Cross Chop.

"And now Vee is unable to battle," Brock said, wincing.

"Next victim," Blaine said, as Ash returned Vee. Ugh, if he couldn't take this Magmar out he was toast!

Time to bring out the big guns.

"Go, Lenny!" Ash barked, releasing the Gyarados.

"Nice!" Blaine said appreciatively. "It won't save you."

"We'll see," Ash said. "Lenny! Twister!"

"Teleport!"

Say what.

That was Lenny's opinion too, when the Magmar suddenly popped up right next to him, grabbed him—

And then started punching him repeatedly along the gut with a flaming fist.

Ash panicked as the Magmar continued to whale away on Lenny with Fire Punch—plan plan needed a plan—

"Wait!" he barked. "Lenny, Flail!"

Lenny had been flailing, did the extra bit that turned it into a proper move—started to loosen from the Magmar—

"Splash as soon as you're free!" Ash ordered.

Lenny could guess at it this time, since he had done it before—Magmar blinked at the order—

Lenny bounced over it, hit it in the back with an Aqua Tail and sent it sliding down the mountain.

Blaine sighed. "Kovie, go get her," he told the other Magmar, who grunted and started heading down. Looked at Ash appreciatively. "Okay then, we're going to have to pull someone with a bit more oomph out."

Ash grimaced at that—that wasn't his big oomph?

"All right, Sparky!" Blaine ordered, releasing an Arcanine. "Extreme Speed, now!"

"Splash!" Ash ordered—oh wait—"And Flail!"

Flail saved him, slapped the Arcanine away—it dug into the loose scree, jumped forward—

Loose scree.

"Uh, Bounce!" Ash barked. "Use Iron Tail on the ground to give you a boost!"

Lenny did so, got further into the air, Arcanine already spinning to attack—

"Hydro Pump right there!" Ash ordered, pointing.

"Oh crud," Brock muttered, already retreating. Arcanine leaped up, fangs flaring—

Lenny Flailed on the way back down, batting the Arcanine away—used Hydro Pump on the ground again to soften his descent—

Arcanine hit the ground—

Scrambled in the now-mudslide as it too went sliding off the battlefield.

"Is your plan to wash all my guys off the mountain?" Blaine asked drily, watching as Lenny coiled and leaped back up onto relatively solid land.

Ash shrugged. "It worked for two of your guys." And he definitely needed to catch up after that Magmar.

Blaine nodded. "Fair enough. Go, Smaug!"

"Ah," Ash noised, staring at the Charizard across the way, flapping over the mess. That wouldn't work with this guy. "Lenny, blast it!"

"Use Thunder Punch!"

"Wait what?"

Charizard dodged around the Hydro Pump shot its way, clenched paw sparking—

"Flail! Get out of the way!" Ash ordered desperately, waving—Lenny did so, slipping in the muck—

Went down after two punches.

"Lenny is unable to battle!" Brock called from his new perch.

"Dangit," Ash muttered, returning Lenny.

"Hey, you got us even now," Blaine offered.

Ash ticked them off mentally, hands behind his back tallying—Ninetails, Magmar, and Arcanine. Versus Pikachu, Patches, Vee, and Lenny. Not even close.

Okay. The fact of the matter was, Frenzy was Grass/Bug and would be toast in one hit. Haunter was going to have to carry this.

"Go, Haunter!" Ash yelled, flinging him out. "Punch his lights out!"

Haunter popped onto the field, cackling—

Continued to cackle as he did just what Ash ordered, alternating between Shadow and Sucker Punches as he dodged Charizard's swerving and biting.

"Fire Spin and Breaking Swipe," Blaine ordered.

"Confuse Ray and then Sludge Bomb!"

Haunter winced as some of the fire licked at his fur, but was able to dodge around the tail brutally swinging about—eyes glowed, making Charizard's do the same, and then spat sludge in its eyes.

"Okay!" Ash cheered as Charizard staggered around, confused, in pain, and possibly poisoned. "Knock it out! Don't use Curse."

"Haunt," Haunter sighed, giving him a disappointed look—smacked Charizard upside the head with a Shadow Ball instead.

"Is that a recurring problem?" Blaine asked after Charizard fainted.

Ash shrugged as Charizard was returned. "It's his favorite move."

"You need less self-destructive favs," Blaine told Haunter. "Go, Zippo!"

"Ah," Ash noised as a Flareon appeared on the field. "I was wondering what a 'mon named Zippo would look like."

"And now you know," Blaine said, smiling. "Use Lava Plume!"

Oh that didn't sound good—

The ground erupting around them told him yes, it wasn't good.

"Aah! Dodge it!" Ash hollered. "Straight up!"

Haunter zipped straight up, becoming a black blot in the sky—oh wait.

"Uh," he called over. "Going straight up isn't going out of bounds, is it?"

"I'd recommend stopping it soon," Blaine advised.

"Uh—Haunter, come back down!" Ash hollered—something occurred to him. "Use Confuse Ray!"

"Dodge it!" Blaine barked—

But what Ash expected happened—being sound-based meant it was hard to dodge, and the visible energy rings that came out of Haunter expanded big enough to hit the whole field—Flareon was quickly teetering in confusion.

"That's a status effect—Haunter! Hex!"

Dark energy shot straight down—

Nailed Flareon and knocked it out.

"All righty then," Blaine said, returning it. Fished another Pokéball out. "Last one, kid," he announced, smiling. "Have to say, I'm impressed. Go, Blister!"

An enormous Rapidash reared the moment it was free, whinnying mightily.

"Okay," Ash muttered. "Stay up there Haunter! Use Icy Wind to blow it off the mountain!"

"Blister's better on rough terrain than most, kid," Blaine said. "And that cool little breeze isn't going to do much. Blister! Bounce and then Incinerate!"

Oh no—oh no this was bad, especially with how Rapidash easily leaped up to be level with Haunter. "Dodge it!"

Rapidash was just a tic faster, causing a crispy Haunter to fall—

"Use Icy Wind on the way down!" Ash hollered—maybe that would soften his landing—

"Follow it and use Drill Run!"

Oh boy. Scramble for a thought, anything—

"No!" he barked when he saw the big spike in one floating hand. "Use Payback!" There was no way Haunter was going to avoid fainting in the next minute, but he might as well deal some damage—

Rapidash hit and slammed him into the ground long before Haunter could get together enough to ready that attack.

"Haunter is unable to battle," Brock said, grimacing, knowing what Ash's remaining Pokémon was.

Ash grimaced too. "Go, Frenzy!"

"Ah," Blaine noised. "No wonder you saved that one for last."

"Yeah," Ash said—directed his attention to Frenzy.

"Frenzy," he said, causing the Parasect to snap to attention. "Two things: don't get hit, and take that Rapidash out."

Frenzy screeched his understanding, ramped up, causing the Rapidash to skitter away—

"Blazing Low Kick!" Blaine ordered as Frenzy charged. The Rapidash heeled around, hoofs already glowing—

Frenzy leaped to the side faster than Ash would have guessed, claw out and slicing a gouge in the Rapidash's side—

Leaped back and scurried away when Rapidash swerved with the intent to Stomp on him.

"Incinerate!" Blaze called.

"Dodge it!" Ash cried desperately—flinched back as the field was swathed in flame—

Didn't see Frenzy when the smoke cleared. "Frenzy?"

"Ah," Blaine noised, sounding concerned. "Ah, Blister, we don't have the insurance for totally immolating someone's Pokémon."

The Rapidash snorted, hooves clopping, seeming nervous—

Blaine figured it out first. "Bounce and Incinerate straight down!"

The Rapidash leaped straight up again, blasted fire straight down—

"No! Frenzy!" Ash yelped—had to dive for cover again—

No Frenzy when the fire stopped, no sign of him at all. Blink, trying to process this as the Rapidash landed—

And then the whole field caved in, sending the Rapidash down with a panicked whinny, rocks burying it—

And Frenzy launching himself out of the rocks, claws and mandibles dripping with poison, screeching as he latched onto Rapidash, desperately trying to kick itself free but unable to maneuver under the rocks—

And then vanishing in a flash of red light.

"That means a forfeit," Brock reminded Blaine.

"It wasn't going to last much longer, and it'll take long enough to calm her down as-is," Blaine said, tucking the ball back in the stuffed Tepig. "Might as well call it, son."

"Right. Rapidash is unable to battle, Frenzy wins—which means the match goes to Ash Ketchum!"

"It does? It does!" Ash yelped, leaping upright. "We did it, Frenzy!"

Frenzy lumbered out of the crater he had made as Ash danced around, near-delirious—didn't react when Ash hugged his mushroom.

"That was awesome!" Ash enthused. "When did you learn Dig?"

"If memory serves, when you were trying to teach the rest of your Pokémon," Brock observed, coming over with Misty trailing behind at a respectable distance from Frenzy. "Except I'm pretty sure Frenzy's approach then was just to dig for Galar."

"And apparently now I have a new reason to hide in a volcano," Blaine said.