No-One But You (The Star Child's Eclipse)
Chapter 85: Doom (Part 5)
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Wade Wilson hella sneezed in that moment, for some reason. Whoa.. was someone talking about him?
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His giant sneeze-fest woke him out of his sexed-up coma, and he was surprised to see that his cute little coyote wasn't in bed beside him.
WHOA. What the fuck? Ezekiel always slept in…
That cyber-punk brat could sleep all fucking day too, but Wade wouldn't let him do that half the time.
What the shit. The mercenary felt around for him all over the bed… then he started looking over toward the bathroom.
No… he wasn't in there. How weird.
Wade felt hella lazy too, but he got up and he started roaming around the "coyote's den."
What fucking time was it? And you can bet your sweet ass that Ezekiel Stane wasn't out on some sort of fucking run.
You couldn't PAY Ezekiel to jog somewhere out in the bitter cold. HAH. Wade inwardly laughed at the thought….
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He snooped around toward the living room, the kitchen… then he started heading down to the coyote's nerd lab.
Ezekiel wasn't down their either… and that was … fucking weird.
Hold the fuck up. Wade tried to retrace his steps and map back what happened just before he crashed out.
He was on the phone with Charles fuck-face Xavier… and they were talking about "Doctor" McDick-Town Doom.
They started talking about Ellie as well, and Wade even agreed to pay the X-Mansion another visit.
Ezekiel was spaced out, snacking on stuff… and watching HONEY, I SHRUNK THE KIDS….
They smoked some weed and went to sleep, so… where was he?
Was there some sort of… bullshit.. nerd meeting? No.. his precious Shiny actually hated going to those.
Wade Wilson knew that for a fact, so what the fuck..
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Wait. What was Ezekiel doing all day… before Wade got back from the soccer game..
Hmm… the mercenary's not-so-spidey senses started going mega berserk, because he forgot to ask Ezekiel what HE was doing after they got into their stupid fight…
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"Sevgili? Where's Zephyr at right now?"
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Oh yeah... technology was a thing. Duh.
The merc reminded himself that he was never alone, and he had some super snazzy technology at his disposal.
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"Sir, Zephyr is currently offline. I don't have a location to report."
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Wait, what? Why the fuck was his shit offline again? Wade immediately began to wonder if he did something stupid.
They had some mega hot sex.. then.. they zoned out. Ezekiel seemed fine, so.. what the?
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"Can you tell me where Ezekiel is? Where's Shiny? Why did he leave?"
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How friggen weird was that, because Ezekiel wasn't the type of person who just up and leaves.
He's the type of person that NEVER LEAVES THE HOUSE.. so…
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"Sir, I don't have a location to report."
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WHAT FUCKING GOOD DOES THAT DO? Wade straight up raged as soon as he heard what Sevgili said.
Hang on. This situation couldn't possibly be right.
Wade rolled his eyes a little at what was happening, then he quickly fixed the waistline of his sweatpants.
Ezekiel NOT being there was too fucking bizarre, so the mercenary rubbed the side of his face and he panicked dialed someone who was super chill.
Captain Super-Chill is who he called, and deep down the mercenary wasn't sure why.
Let's just call it a gut feeling, a basic instinct.. perhaps? OH LOOK, HE'S ANSWERING….
Captain Sexy-Pants picked up Wade's call, and the mercenary almost pissed himself on the down-low after he heard Steve's buttery soft voice.
Steve Rogers said, hello? THEN WADE'S MOUTH HIT THE GAS PEDAL.
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"HI. HAVE YOU SEEN EZEKIEL? He's not here, and I DIDN'T DO ANYTHING. So, that's weird. Normally he'd be sleeping in … till the cow's come home, but he's not here AND he's not sleeping. We don't have any cows here either, by the way. It's way too cold up here in the mountains. Anyway, have ya seen him? I think I'm getting hives, because I don't see him and it is REALLY freaking me out…"
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Uhm.. Steve Rogers was awake, and he definitely heard most of what Wade said in that moment.
Steve was actually in his living room when Wade Wilson called him.
Wade's words were something to process, for sure, and the blonde was surprised to hear what he said.
Tony wasn't there with him, in Brooklyn, and Steve was inwardly freaking out as well..
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"Tony isn't here either, and I know they worked together yesterday. Did Ezekiel say anything to you about meeting up with Tony?"
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OH WOW, A CLUE. An actual "Blue's Clue" had arrived in Wade's busy mind.
The theme song for the show suddenly went through Wade's head, and he started humming the song into the phone…
Wait. Bad Deadpool.
The mercenary snapped back into the chat, because he was super stoked to hear what Steve actually said.
Wade jumped up a little as he processed what it all meant.
So, Ezekiel and Tony "worked" together yesterday… and now they're both gone? That's kinda weird…
That was super weird, actually, and Wade's filthy mind immediately took the scenario in the craziest direction.
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"Wait. Do you think they're together, right now? Are they having an affair? Did we just piece that together?"
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Wade was actually okay with that, but he was WAY too spaced on the details to reveal that information out loud.
He heard Steve Rogers LAUGH HIS ASS OFF for half a second, then he choked out a correction to Wade's bonkers as fuck response.
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"NO. Wade, they're not having an affair. Tony was telling me something about Ezekiel yesterday, but I'm not sure if that means they're together right now. I'm not sure, and I can't locate Tony at all with his tech, so…"
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Steve wasn't necessarily at a loss, just because he couldn't locate Tony's technology.
The blonde had other resources at his disposal to track down his significant other, but his mind was suddenly being bombarded by a sea of words from Wade.
The infamous Deadpool started telling Steve everything he knew about Ezekiel's technology being "MIA," then he started confessing that it would be "super hot" if they got lost together out in the woods.
LOL… what the hell did Wade just say?
Steve started laughing and dying at the thought, then he started piecing together where the two of them were actually located in that moment.
Captain America started digging around Tony's tech in his own way, while Wade squabbled on and on in his ear.
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Chapter: END
Thanks for reading.