It was an unusually peaceful day at Backwoods High—no pranks, no chaos,
just the calm hum of classrooms. Matt Marinara and Jason Mustard strolled
down the hallway, half-expecting some nonsense to break the stillness,
but for once, nothing happened.
That is, until the fire alarm blared.
The piercing noise echoed through the halls, sending students into a
frenzy as they evacuated the building. Matt and Jason exchanged a glance,
knowing full well this wasn't just some fluke. It had to be someone
stirring up trouble.
Outside in the schoolyard, the usual suspects gathered. Keith Lloyd
leaned against the school fence, smirking, while Ryan Davis casually
munched on an apple like he didn't have a care in the world. Tyler
Sanders was cracking jokes about how the firefighters should check the
cafeteria for Tyler's next laxative prank instead of hunting for fire.
Amanda Kelly and Priscilla rolled their eyes at the commotion, while
Billy Murphy stood off to the side, air-guitaring to his own imaginary
concert. David Lewis was, of course, filming everything.
After an exhaustive search, the firefighters confirmed there was no fire.
The alarm had been pulled as a prank.
Principal Smith's face was as red as the fire trucks when he gathered the
entire student body. "I will find out who's responsible," he growled.
"And I know just where to start."
The next morning, Matt and Jason found themselves in the principal's
office—along with all the other usual troublemakers: Keith, Ryan, Tyler,
Amanda, Priscilla, David, and Billy. They sat in chairs lined up like a
school version of a trial hearing, with Principal Smith glaring at them
from behind his desk. A few teachers and the school council were present,
watching them closely.
"You're all here because you have a history of causing chaos at this
school," Smith began. "So naturally, one of you pulled that fire alarm.
I'm going to get to the bottom of this. Let's start with you, Mark."
Matt shrugged. "I was with Jason, eating pizza in the cafeteria. I didn't
pull anything, except for a cheese slice."
Jason nodded. "Yeah, we were nowhere near the fire alarm."
Principal Smith turned to Keith Lloyd next. "And you, Keith?"
Keith leaned back, folding his arms. "I was in the library, learning how
to throw better axes. Maybe you should ask Tyler here if he was planning
his next laxative stunt instead."
Tyler snickered. "Nah, I was too busy figuring out my next masterpiece.
Trust me, if I did something, you'd all know. Pulling a fire alarm is
amateur stuff."
Amanda Kelly and Priscilla, sitting next to each other, both shrugged
when questioned. "We were in the bathroom fixing our makeup," Amanda
said. Priscilla added, "Yeah, not our style."
Ryan Davis, hiding a smirk, simply said, "I was in my locker. Like
always. I wasn't pulling anything, except maybe the door shut."
Smith was getting more frustrated with each passing answer. He turned to
David Lewis. "And you?"
David raised his camera. "I was filming everyone evacuating. That's my
thing, right? Documenting chaos, not causing it."
Finally, it was Billy Murphy's turn. "I was practicing my banshee scream
for my next library performance," he said, throwing in a loud screech for
emphasis. Matt and Jason chuckled, as Principal Smith looked like he was
ready to explode.
"You all have alibis, but one of you is lying," Smith seethed. "We're
going to get to the bottom of this."
Suddenly, the door opened, and a nervous student stepped in. "Uh,
Principal Smith, I know who did it."
Everyone turned their heads, including the principal. "Go on," Smith
urged.
The student took a deep breath. "I saw Damien. He pulled the fire alarm
and ran off, laughing with his juggalo crew."
A heavy silence filled the room. Then, all at once, Keith Lloyd burst out
laughing. "Of course! Of course it was that Faygo-chugging clown!"
Matt and Jason joined in, laughing hysterically. "Dude, Damien really
thought he could get away with it," Jason wheezed between chuckles.
The door to the office swung open again, and Damien was dragged in by a
teacher. His face was covered in smudged clown paint, and he looked
utterly defeated. The rest of the accused students hurled insults at him.
"Fuck you, juggalo!" Keith shouted, grinning wildly.
"Nice going, you moron," Amanda sneered.
"Get outta here with your circus act," Tyler added.
As Damien was escorted out, still looking bewildered, Keith wiped a tear
from his eye. "This might be the best day at Backwoods High yet."
Principal Smith, though still fuming, dismissed the rest of the group.
"You're free to go—for now. But mark my words, I'm watching all of you."
Matt and Jason exchanged high-fives as they walked out, the taste of
victory—and pizza—still fresh in their mouths.
Backwoods High, saved from the juggalos once again.