She really didn't want to get to know Ted Lasso on a personal level, and didn't want to be friends with him.
Rebecca was well aware she had not been good at friends in a very long time and sitting in her office while he clutched an ice pack to his forehead and talked about his marriage was alarming.
"Anyway, if I hear any of those tunes, I immediately think about my wife telling me that my constant optimism is too much." She tried not to dwell on the true meaning of that particular comment, instead she tried to steer him off that particular train of thought.
"And this... sharing of feelings is 'cause I opened up to you about my ex-husband at the gala." Please say no, please say no…
"Yes, ma'am."
"Well, that's a lesson learned." Please take the hint, Ted.
"Oh, come on now. I bet deep down you kinda dig we're getting so close, right?" She didn't regret blatantly lying to his face.
"I do."
"Oklahoma?" Dammit, this was the part he caught onto?
"I do not." she tries to smile but knows it comes out as more of a grimace.
Rebecca's next move was not one she had actually planned and it came out of nowhere.
She was seated in the owners box, watching the team implode in the middle of a match. Jamie Tartt was being… well the him that he presented to the world, in other words a prick and Roy was attempting to hold the team together with Ted's encouragement on the sideline.
Jamie's attitude was getting worse and worse and it seemed no matter what Ted, Beard and Roy tried they couldn't get through to him. It was bad enough that the only person on the pitch celebrating the goal was Jamie himself. The filthy looks and defeated attitude of the rest of the team made it clear that things were getting worse and worse.
Rebecca wondered if any of them would ever get to the point that they'd rather lose a match than win with Jamie's help?
She watched with an icy demeanour as Ted jumped the wall into the stands and made his way up to her.
"Uh, I wanna bench Jamie. But I didn't wanna do it without checking with you first." it takes everything she has to not visibly react. Instead, she reaches out and pats his hand and says she trusts him.
When Mansour calls her the next day she's honest. She doesn't know how long Jamie will be benched for and she knows without him having to say it they'll recall him if they think he's not going to get enough minutes.
The whole point of loaning Jamie to Richmond was to get him more experience on the pitch so if he wasn't playing there was no point in him staying.
Out of form, she asks Mansour to give her a couple of days but the reality is the amount of money they'll save on Jamie's salary is too much for her to try and stop the recall.
Seeing the Sun's headlines proclaiming her 'Old Rebecca', stinks of Rupert and his cruelty. It's just another salvo in his never ending war with her. It doesn't mean the words and actions don't continue to hurt and she knows it won't be the last time, so the sting is lessened. It seems every volley he lobs her way, she is quicker to dodge and better at recovering from.
Then Sam appears in her office, inviting her to take part in the team's attempt to get rid of Richmond's ghosts. Roy's later retelling of the meeting at the pub and the boys reaction to having to get rid of 400 ghosts leaves her in stitches.
"Wait, wait, wait. What you're telling me is that we've got 400 ghosts?"
"That's too many ghosts."
"We cannot fight them all."
It takes her mind off being branded "Old Rebecca" for a time.
Standing out on the training pitch, watching the boys start to truly bond, listening to Ted tell her the whole thing had been Higgins' idea sends a surge of hatred for the man through her. Over the months she had been vacillating between being irritated and outright hating the man who had helped Rupert. She makes sure he can hear the threat in her voice.
"Off you go"
As she's walking away, her anger burns through the cold and she tosses the jacket off her shoulders and lets it fall to the floor.
She would have loved to have stayed out there with them. They were a good group of boys and Ted and Beard are the leadership they need to become a real team. Being on the outside was really fucking lonely and she couldn't wait for this season to be over.
Now, she just needs to do something that she knows is going to anger quite a few people.
Finding out that Ted had been baking those biscuits for her nearly makes her break and tell Ted everything but she holds fast, her stubbornness getting in the way.
Once Jamie is gone, she can feel the change from the locker room up. The lack of tension in the team is palpable.
It follows them through to the day they are heading up to Liverpool to play Everton and as she's sitting in her office checking her email while she waits for Keeley when a reminder pops up…
It would be their 12th anniversary…
Her second since leaving him. The first passed during her second stint in hospital while pregnant so she hadn't really noticed the meaning of the date.
Now though, the image of the flowers on the screen felt like it was mocking her.
Admittedly her entire marriage had been a mockery of the institution.
She didn't miss being married to Rupert, but she missed the idea of being with someone. She missed the years that had been lost.
As Keeley would put it she also missed a good fuck. After being single for over 18 months, maybe an away match fuck might not be a bad idea.
She didn't dare go out in London and bringing someone back to the house was unthinkable.
If she thought she could get away with it, she would skip travelling for away matches, but that was the type of attention she didn't want to draw to herself.
Next year would be easier, out of the Premier League meant less eyes on the matches and she might be able to start bringing Addy with her. At least she would have Keeley's company on this trip and if worse came to worse, she could fly back immediately after the match.
As it turned out, Sassy's arrival meant she couldn't escape quickly and quietly.
As much as she enjoyed seeing her childhood best friend again, Rebecca struggled to truly connect. So much time had passed and she was so different now, Sassy didn't seem to understand the changes.
Then she said the words that would haunt Rebecca for weeks to come.
"but you have to own up to the part that you played."
She pushed through long enough to sing in public for the first time in years, at first it was amazing but then it soured as she watched Ted's desperate escape from the club. As hard as she was trying to keep him at a distance, the little prick was getting over her fences faster than she could build them so as soon as her song was complete she went outside to check on him.
She's relieved she does because seeing him curled up on the ground in the throes of a panic attack tears at her heart.
She gets him up and somewhat functioning again and sends him on his way.
Still waters run deep.
She begs off going to a bar with Sassy and the boys, still hurting from Sassy's words and remembers the waiter from the night before.
He's a nice distraction and a damn good fuck but once she and Keeley are back on the jet, she can't hold the thoughts at bay any more.
"You ok babes?" They were both hungover as hell after their night of karaoke and drinking in Liverpool but Keeley could sense that there was something else hanging over Rebecca.
"Hmmm?" the blonde looked up, startled at the sudden question.
"You ok?" Keeley repeated.
"Yes" Rebecca said automatically, then she stopped and thought about the question and the young woman who had become so dear to her so quickly "and no… seeing Sassy again was…" Rebecca isn't sure if she doesn't want to complete the sentence or doesn't know how.
Proving again that she is one of the most emotionally intelligent people Rebecca has met, Keeley does it for her.
"She doesn't know about the baby does she?"
Rebecca shook her head as tears sprung to her eyes "I suppose I could have called her when I first left Rupert and she might have come but…" her head drops to the wall and she stares out the window as she speaks without even thinking "Everything was too hard, I mean, have you ever tried showering with bruised ribs and broken fingers? By the time I was mobile again I was hiding from the press, essentially blackmailing Rupert into meeting my terms for the divorce… I ended up in hospital twice while I was pregnant… you've met her… she's not exactly good on the blood pressure…" she trails off as she realises what she has just revealed without meaning too.
The nagging in the back of her mind that these are all excuses is too loud for her to think about what she was saying.
Before she can walk anything back, Keeley has jumped up from her seat and thrown herself into Rebecca's lap, wrapping herself around Rebecca as much as she can. She doesn't say anything, just holds on as tight as she can and lets Rebecca cry.
"She said I need to own up to the part I played in letting Rupert lock me up in an ivory tower…" she eventually mumbles into Keeley's hair. "I never told her he tried to hurt Nora… and that's why I stayed away from them."
Keeley's breath catches in her chest at the implications of what Rebecca has just admitted.
She knew Rupert Mannion was a first class prick and verbally abusive, but this was the first time Rebecca had ever admitted that it was physical… and to threaten a 6 year old girl to force her into compliance… she can't imagine the strength Rebecca had to find to get herself out.
The pieces she'd been getting a glimpse of over the last few months were coming together in a terrifying puzzle.
"You listen to me Rebecca Welton…" she whispers into the platinum blonde hair "It doesn't matter how long it took, you got out… you are fierce and strong and fuck all the floppy cocks that say anything else. You survived, you and that beautiful little girl that if I didn't know better was your fucking clone…" both of them let out wet giggles "If anyone ever tries to say otherwise again, you come and get me and I'll take care of them and then I'll take care of you… right?"
Eventually Keeley moves off her lap but only goes as far as the seat by her side and sits there gripping Rebecca's hand tightly in her own.
Watching Ted 'White Knight' as he had called it was a lesson in something Rebecca couldn't quite work out yet.
"Be curious, not judgemental", Emily will love that, although Rebecca isn't sure if it's a real quote or not. She'll need to look it up.
It's a philosophy that explains so much about her gaffer and it's a philosophy she hopes will trickle through the club in the years to come.
But Ted… sweet, friendly, loyal Ted tore Rupert to shreds in defence of her. All without a hint of violence, or raising his voice.
This is the man she hired to help her rebuild Richmond.
Rupert's words barely touch her any more but she let the hurt show through in the hope he would be satisfied with that, but he wasn't. Watching him fawn over Bex made her worry about the younger woman, he was in full charm mode with her and all Rebecca could see was the past repeating itself.
Some days she wonders if Rupert's first wife ever had the same thoughts about her.
The two of them have never spoken and likely never would and Rebecca has to wonder if she would have listened if a warning had been sent her way or would she assume it was coming from a bitter, jealous woman. A scorned woman.
Like she worried any warning to Bex would be seen.
Although, the image of the three of them toasting together at Rupert's eventual funeral did make her feel warm and fuzzy inside.
Years later, she does in fact end up standing over the twats grave with the other two former Mrs Mannions. The vintage Krug she's been saving for this occasion is shared between the three of them and drunk straight from the bottle.
"DRINKS ARE ON ME!" she slammed her hands on the bar as Mae rang the bell and the whole bar cheered.
She felt amazing!
They stayed at the bar for another hour, chatting with Mae and each other about nothing serious or important before heading back to the club.
As they're sliding out of the car, Rebecca changes her mind on a subject she's been stubbornly refusing to listen to Emily's council about for months.
"Are you free for dinner tonight? There are some things I need to speak to you and Coach Beard about and I would prefer some privacy for it."
"Well I certainly am, let me check with coach. What time and where?" He smiled, wondering if he'd finally managed to find the top of the fence he'd spent months trying to get over.
"7pm and I'll text you the address."
That night at precisely 7pm, her doorbell rings. A quick glance at the security feed shows Ted and Beard waiting at the door, with a tray of something and a bottle of something in their hands respectively.
Unfortunately, Addy is being stubborn and refusing to go to sleep or go with Adrianna, so Rebecca answers the door with a tearful baby on her hip which leaves both American's stunned.
"Gentlemen" her smile is strained, this was not the plan "Come in" she turns and heads back towards the kitchen, trusting them to close the door behind them.
"Did we know about this?" Ted mouths to Beard, who simply shakes his head, no.
Trailing after her, they enter the kitchen just in time to see Rebecca attempting to put Addy in the playpen, only to have her screech unhappily and cling tighter to her mother's shirt.
"Sorry about this, the afternoon got away from me… dinner is still about half an hour away but help yourself" she indicates the cheese platter sitting on the bench. Seeing them both still standing in the doorway slightly stunned she took a breath "Drink?"
"Yeah…" "Oh yes please" they both nodded in unison. Once their drinks are poured Ted can't hold back his curiosity any more.
"So Boss, you gonna introduce us to the baby boss? I'm assuming she's yours, either that or the Scot's perfected cloning and didn't say nothin… cause if she's not yours I've just made a right mess of this and…"
"Coach…" Beard cuts of his ramble.
"Sorry Boss, you go ahead."
"This is Addy, who really should be in bed, but is being a bit clingy right now. I'm hoping she dozes off before dinner is ready." She sighs in frustration "I had hoped she'd be down and dinner would be ready so we could eat and talk in peace but…" she looks between her Gaffer and his assistant "May as well get it over with. Have a seat please" she waits until they're seated at the bench before pushing on.
"Right… I may have, no I definitely brought the 2 of you to London under somewhat false pretences. I realised today that Lauren was right all along and I should have been up front with you about what I'm trying to achieve. The crux of the matter is when I took the club from Rupert in the divorce, I always planned for us to be relegated to the Champions league at the end of this season. He fucked us over with sub-par sponsorship deals and overpaid players and staff. Relegation means I can get rid of the dead weight in admin and support staff, pull out of any contracts and deals that are vastly unfair and we can build something better from the ground up. What I didn't count on was the two of you achieving what you have so quickly" she's swaying gently the whole time she's speaking, still trying to get Addy to sleep.
When Ted pull's a 5 pound note out of his pocket and hands it over to Beard her jaw drops open. They shake hands and make an explosion noise before turning back to her.
"Coach here bet me that there was something else going on. I said, nope and took everything you previously told us at face value." Ted smiled and shrugged.
END CHAPTER 6