So... Ya'll can blame ReZero Why Me? by Writer with bad Grammar T-T and Re:Zero Watching Him Die Again and Again by Reactionist for this nonsense.

Mainly, it was about all of the Dark Souls memes about Re:Zero, while accurate, I wanted to do something different since I'm pretty new to this series and fandom. So, I spoiled the absolute fuck out of myself on plot points and theories. I also wanted to show that, even if someone had power going into this verse... you're still fucked.
That Great Rabbit scene still lives rent free in my mind... Dear God the Beast of Caerbannog has multiplied, and we're going to need more than a Holy Hand Grande for that shit.

But yes, the reason I chose Ninja Gaiden was because... well... this was the game before Dark Souls that was famous for how hard it was, and wore it like a badge of honor. It would be absolutely perfect to crossover with Re:Zero. So, expect utter lunacy, and Semi-SI MC who's modus operandi is Black Air Force Energy and "Fuck it, we ball!"

Also no metaknowledge as it the curse of any good SI story.

Chapter One: Ninjas In Paris

I stood in an alleyway, utterly shell shocked by what had just transpired.

One moment, I'm at a Halloween party with my anime nerd homies, the next, I'm…here.

I sighed and walked towards the light at the end of the alleyway, and was greeted with the haunting sight of a bustling medieval looking town with knights decked out in full armor, men and women with animal features on their bodies…oh, and the carriages being pulled by giant fucking lizards!

I took in the sight before me, burning itself into my mind.

"What. The actual. Fuck?" I muttered under my breath.

A few passersby spared me a curious glance or two. Even a few kids were pointing at me.

It was a little embarrassing, but it made sense. I had been transported here by forces unknown in my Ryu Hayabusa cosplay. I stuck out like a sore thumb. Not sure which was worse, my Amazon-ordered toy katana hanging off my back, or my backpack with anime stickers.

Both. Both were equally cringe. But I had killed the part of me that cringes, and embraced my cringe years ago.

I walked back into the alleyway.

"Did I just get fucking isekai'd?" I muttered under my breath. "One moment I'm at a Halloween party, now I'm here? Where the hell was Truck-kun? Where the hell am I, The Lands Between?" I paused and peered out the alley. "Nope. People here look actually happy. I haven't been brutally murdered by some multi-limbed abomination. And most of all, there's no masked white guy calling me maidenless."

I moved deeper into the alleyway and unhooked my bag from my shoulder, and unzipped it to check its contents.

"Laptop, phone, Switch, 3DS, solar powered charging station…" I listed off as I rummaged through my bag. "Ah, here's my phone!"

My costume didn't exactly have pockets, so I needed to stuff it into my backpack.

"4:37pm, Thursday, and no signal…" I sighed. "Fan-fucking-tastic."

Then I noticed it.

My right arm.

Angry red veins and warped skin, from my hand to my shoulder. It looked like my arm had been severely burned and never quite healed right. With my free hand, I felt my disfigured arm. I didn't feel any pain, but this wasn't makeup or some kind of practical effect. This was my actual arm.

"Yeah, I'm going to have to put some Neosporin on that when I get the free time…" I did my best to find some humor in my situation.

Okay, okay…reassess the situation. Unless this is actually one very vivid dream, I've found myself in another world, I have all my stuff which a plus, but my right arm is fucked up, so shit evens out.

"What the hell do I do now?" I asked myself, then shrugged. "Guess I'll take in the sights…"

I took off my mask before I exited the alleyway, I didn't want to look like more of a weirdo than I probably already did. Then I noticed something, the silver headpiece was cool to the touch, and a bit weightier than I remembered…like metal instead of the plastic it had been before.

I flicked the head piece of my Legendary Black Falcon cosplay, and my ears were met with a metallic ding.

I eyed the sword on my back with a curious glint. The sword was supposed to be plastic too. I reached behind me with my disfigured right arm and wrapped my fingers around the hilt of the blade, that alone sated my curiosity. The texture of the hilt was completely different than before, the sword was no longer a toy.

And given what had happened to my arm, my body had changed too to accommodate… whatever the hell was going on.

I clenched my fist, and I felt the muscles in my body coil powerfully throughout my arm.

Yeah, this is different.

I shook my head and stuffed my mask into my bag.

Time for an enthusiastic walk.

I stepped out of the alley and felt a pleasant breeze rush past my face. It really was a nice day out today.

I walked into the crowds populating… wherever the hell I was, and observed the buildings and architecture as well as the vehicles being used. The culture seems to be around the mid to late Renaissance Period, so give or take five to six centuries before my time. I noticed so many unfamiliar races as I trekked through the city. Cat people, wolf people, straight up lizard people, it was almost difficult to spot a human amongst the melting pot before me.

"Hey! Watch out!"

As I was walking through the markets, there was commotion going on. I looked at where everyone was pointing at, a small boy in the middle of the road, a speeding carriage about to run him over, the driver desperately trying to slow the giant lizard down.

My eyes widened, and I dropped my backpack. My body practically moved on its own. The muscles in my legs tensed, and I shot across the road with speed I knew I never had. I grabbed the boy and rolled rather clumsily across the road before we hit the other side.

I was a little out of breath due to how unexpected it all was, not to mention the adrenaline running through me at this point.

The boy looked up at me with a tear stained face.

Silence reigned around me as people stared at me in open shock.

So, I did the only thing I could.

I raised my fist up in victory, and with a broad grin, and my best baseball announcer voice, shouted: "Safe!"

Cheers erupted amongst the crowds, and a warm feeling of pride bloomed from my chest.

"Way to go!"

"Did you see how fast he moved?!"

"That was incredible!"

Similar praises were shouted as I helped the boy up, he was looking at me with stars in his eyes.

"H-How did you do that, mister?!" He yelled excitedly as I looked him over for injuries. Only a few scraps, nothing serious.

I gave a wry smile. "Let's just say I don't miss a day of training."

That and whatever crazy isekai drugs got pumped into me, Jesus Christ!

"Alright now, no more playing in the middle of the street, got it?" I chided the boy softly.

"O-Okay, thank you so much mister!"

I smiled as dusted off his shoulders. "Alright, alright, you know where your parents are? You should get back to them, I'm sure you've given them quite the fright."

"I-I will!"

He then ran off, and hugged a middle-aged woman in the crowd, who I assumed was his mother. And oh boy was she scolding him!

"That was impressive, if not a bit dangerous." An undeniably handsome man with red hair and piercing blue eyes said as he approached me, holding my backpack by one of the straps. "I believe this is yours?"

I gave a hearty laugh as I took it back from him. "Yeah, I think my heart jumped out of my chest pulling that off. And thank you, sir."

I noticed the sword at his side. It made me feel a little warry.

He gave me a charming smile. "Please, just call me Reinhard. May I ask your name?"

"Yeah, sure, I'm…" I paused.

My name…

Holy fuck I forgot my own name!

What the hell! Who forgets their own damn name?!

I just kept blanking whenever I tried to think about my name.

"I-I… give me a moment, I legitimately forgot my name." I sheepishly admitted.

Reinhard blinked, utterly baffled. "Excuse me?"

I knelt to the ground and began to rummage through my backpack, taking out my wallet. "Okay, there should be a few cards in here with my name written on it."

I took out my driver's license and…

"You've gotta be shittin' me right now…"

Where my name was, it was blank.

From my driver's license, insurance card, and anything that would've had my name on it, they were all blank.

In my Mind's Eye, a bunch of chibi ninjas ran around a flaming office screaming about how 'We threw out his name,' before my brain broke in half…

"Oooooh noooo…" I moaned in mild despair. "My name on all of the cards have been erased. Whoever sent me to this world can go straight to hell!"

"This world…?" I heard Reinhard mutter under his breath. "Does… does that mean you're from beyond the Great Waterfall?"

"If that means 'not from this plane of existence,' then probably." I blinked as his words registered. "Wait…you believe me?"

"Ah, one of my Divine Protections allows me to tell when someone's lying." He admitted somewhat sheepishly.

"Well damn," I zipped up my backpack and stood up. "You're a walking lie detector."

My stomach decided now was the right moment to rumble the loudest I had ever heard in my life.

Reinhard gave me an amused smirk. "And you seem to be rather hungry."

My face was a little red due to embarrassment. "The Beast must be sated, yes. But I can't read your world's written language, and I'm pretty sure I'm dead broke. Ya'll don't happen to have magic banks that can read debit cards, do you? I don't exactly carry cash on me."

He let out a small laugh. "I think I have a better idea."

"So, you're from a world called Earth? I see." Reinhard's eyes twinkled with barely veiled interest.

The redhead had brought me to a local tavern, and ordered a hearty bowl of beef stew and tankard of beer for the both of us. And goodness gracious, this world could cook and then some. Even the beer was outstanding!

"Yeah," I took a long satisfying swing of my beer. "I'd say this world is around a few centuries behind mine in terms of technology, give or take."

I took out my smartphone and unlocked it with the fingerprint sensor. Any traces of my name had also been erased from my phone. I navigated to the photo gallery and selected a few images of some cityscapes I had saved as references for potential art projects.

I handed Reinhard the phone, he marveled at the deceive and the photo. "This is what your world looks like? Incredible."

I smiled, his near child-like wonder was infectious. "I have a few more gadgets like that in my bag."

He handed me my phone back, but his gaze lingered on my arm.

"What happened to your arm?"

My gaze turned to my disfigured right arm. "Sort of no clue. Don't know how I got it. It was like that when I came to this world around an hour ago." I explained. "But I know what it is… The Grip of Murder. A curse."

His eyes widened. "Oh goodness."

"It's an ancient Slavic curse used through powerful alchemy and a medium that held the malice and hate of the wielder's victims. This would then lead to excruciating pain for the victim of the curse, rotting them from the inside out until it inflicts the whole body, killing them."

I watched with curiosity as his face turned more pale with each word.

"T-That's horrible!" Reinhard's voice trembled slightly. "A curse meant to torture someone…"

"The most confusing part is that I have no clue who did it, or what was used as a medium." I sighed. "Worst part is, the only way I know how to break it is to find the one who did it in the first place. At this point, I'm going up Shit Creek with no paddle."

Reinhard had a determined look on his face. "Let me see your hand, I'll break that curse for you."

"A-Ah, really? Thanks a bunch!" I grinned as I reached out my right arm.

He took my hand, and closed his eyes in concentration, his hand glowed blue for a few seconds and… nothing happened.

Suddenly, he let go of my hand, almost deflating on the spot. "Oh this isn't good. I… I can't break the curse."

"Ah…well shit." What could I have said?

"I…I think I might be able to ask around. Search for other curses of this nature. I'll definitely find a cure for you."

I was baffled by his earnestness. "I…thank you, but…why are you going so out of your way for a complete stranger like me?"

He simply smiled. "What kind of knight would I be if I didn't help people in need?" His expression took on a more sheepish quality. "Well, I'm off-duty currently, but the point stands."

I shook my head in astonishment. "Heh. You're alright in my books, Reinhard."

"We also still have to work on a name for you too…" The knight mused.

"I've also been thinking about that too." I nodded. "How does Ryuuza Hayabusa sound to you?"

"Hayabusa…" Reinhard mused.

I raised an eyebrow. "Did someone famous already take that name?"

Reinhard let out a small amused laugh. "You could say that. The Great Shinobi Sage, Hayabusa. He helped seal away the Witch of Envy, Satella, centuries ago."

I gave a low whistle. "Damn, this world's got some lore. I'd hit the books if I could read this world's language."

The redhead leaned forward in interest. "Why did you pick 'Hayabusa' specifically?"

The question made me a little embarrassed. "It's about the outfit I'm wearing. A fictional character from my world from a series of video games - that's a topic for later - called Ninja Gaiden. The main character, Ryu Hayabusa, a prodigy ninja of the Dragon Lineage."

"Now that sounds interesting."

"I have the games on another device I have with me. We get the time, and I'll be sure to turn you into a bonafide gamer!"

"I look forward to it."

Reinhard was alright in my books. Man had a genuine kindness that I had rarely seen in others before, it almost bordered on naivety, but it wasn't. I don't know how, but I could sense the power within him, maybe it was the changes to my body but… looking at him was like looking into the depths of a bottomless ocean.

There was also a sort of emptiness to how he acted. Not that he was being hollow or trying to trick me, more like he's been through some shit and needs an actual friend.

And I was more than happy to be that friend.

Reinhard was a certified homie.

Man had done nothing but good for me since the moment I met him.

The redhead nodded to himself. "I doubt anyone would mind someone named after the Great Sage. Now, what about 'Ryuuza?'"

"Ah, that's the Japanese name of the constellation known as Draco, or Dragon."

Reinhard's laugh was almost humorless as he leaned back, he glanced at his sword for a second. "Considering this country, that's fitting." He closed his eyes for a few seconds seemingly in thought, before his piercing blues met my eyes once again. "Ryuuza Hayabusa… It's a fine name. Wear it well."

I smiled and swirled the beer in my mug for a bit. "Well, that's one problemed settled. I don't suppose you know any convenient way to send my sorry ass back home, would you?"

Reinhard gave me a rather worrisome look. "I'm afraid that's outside of even my capabilities…"

"Damn…" I took another swig of beer. "Welp, guess I'm stuck here. Might as well find some work."

The redhead gave me a pensive, thoughtful look, as if there were words right on the tip of his tongue before silencing himself.

Instead, he asked me a question different from what he was probably going to ask me: "Do you know of the Witch Cult, or have any connections to them?"

His voice was barely a low whisper now. There was a very serious look on his face now, as if my answer would dictate whatever came next.

I had no clue whatever the hell a 'Witch Cult' was. But considering what he said about the Witch of Envy earlier, I was pretty sure the crazy bitch was more or less this world's version of the Devil or something. Then this cult was some group of insane maniacs that worshiped or something.

I looked Reinhard right in the eyes. "No. I have no connection to them whatsoever. All I know about them is what you've told me so far."

He closed his eyes and let out a small sigh of relief. "That's good to hear."

I gave a wry smile. "Always nice to know when you're not dealing with a crazy person, I guess."

"Seriously, thanks again, Reinhard." I said as I shook his hand. "I don't know what I would've done without you."

He gave me a sheepish look. "Think nothing of it. I just did what anyone would've done."

I rolled my eyes. "Take the compliment, dude."

Reinhard was a good guy with a noble heart. But I could tell his virtuousness was driven by some sort of tragedy in his life. It was almost like he didn't believe he deserved happiness. A twisted outlook, but not distorted enough that he would recklessly throw his life away.

Honestly, this hopeless bastard needed a hug.

"W-Wha…?!" He exclaimed in surprise as I pulled him into a hug.

"Don't put yourself down like that." I felt the man lock up in my arms. "You've shown me kindness one rarely sees, even in my world. Show some pride in yourself."

I pulled away, and saw him look at me, completely stunned and baffled.

I gave him a deadpan expression. "Fuck's sake, don't tell me hugs are weird in this world."

That seemed to break him out of his daze as he nearly doubled over in laughter.

"No. No, it's just…" He seemed to wipe a tear from his eye. "Thank you."

I patted him on the shoulder. "So, meet up tomorrow at the fountain, right?"

His smile was much more genuine now. "Yes. I may be off-duty today, but I still have a few matters to attend to."

"Guess I'll explore the city a bit longer before finding an inn." Reinhard had apparently given me a small fortune so I wouldn't be left out to dry in the city, which I was incredibly grateful for. "See you tomorrow, homie."

He blinked. "Homie?"

"It's slang from my world. Means 'friend'." I explained.

"O-Oh!" His eyes were practically sparkling now, almost like an excited puppy. "See you tomorrow, h-homie!"

I laughed and walked away with a wave.

"Welp, let's see what kind of trouble I can get into…"

Shockingly, it was a disappointing amount of trouble.

I sighed as the collective groans of three morons that had tried to mug me laid at my feet in another undisclosed alley I wandered into. Some skinny jackass with blue hair, a midget with a bowl cut, and some big backed strong-man looking motherfucker in a makeshift durag.

Honestly, I had to control my strength to make sure I didn't kill the sorry sons of bitches after I knocked the big guy out in a single hit.

"Out of the way!" A childish female voice called out, accompanied with the sound of rushing footsteps.

I turned to the entrance of the alleyway to see a small blonde with crimson eyes running towards myself and the thugs I had beaten up. She was wearing black tights, a red scarf, and black tube top that was damn near scandalous.

She hopped on the head of the midget. "Ow!"

"One!" I cheered.

She hopped on the head of the skinny guy. "Aggh!"

"Two!"

She hopped on the head of the living brick shithouse. "Gck!"

"Three!"

She jumped towards me next, aiming to stomp off my head like I was some bottom-tier goomba.

I caught her foot with my hand. "H-Hey!"

"Aaaaaaand…" I tensed the muscles in my arm and pushed her up with what I hoped was an appropriate amount of strength.

"Wooo-oo-oooah!" She shouted as she was launched high into the air.

To her luck, and my conscience, she landed on the roof of the building behind us with an amazing amount of skill and acrobatic prowess.

I laughed, and clapped my hands. "Ladies and gentlemen, she sticks the landing. The crowd is going absolutely wild."

She blinked owlishly at me as she stood perched at the rooftop, then she gave me a broad grin and crossed her arms. "Yes. Praise me. For I will be the Queen of Thieves!"

I raised an eyebrow at that as she ran off. "Huh…"

My musing from that odd comment was drawn away as I saw something that caught my attention.

A spider lowering itself down from a web.

It was an extremely odd looking spider.

Its head was silver with four red, almost burning, eyes. Its body was pitch black, with red flame-like markings covering its abdomen.

I didn't know why, but I was utterly captivated by it.

My hand subconsciously reached out for it when…

"Don't move!" Another female voice called out from the entrance of the alleyway. "Return the insignia you stole from me this instant!"

I was broken out of whatever spell I was in, and turned to see who the owner of the voice was.

She was absolutely gorgeous!

Without any doubt she was the most beautiful woman I had ever met. So beautiful it was unreal, like a porcelain doll almost. She had long silver hair - not white, but actually silver - with braids in it that reached down to her hips. Her amethyst eyes glared at me as if I had committed some kind of grave injustice upon her… it was adorable and made me want to pinch her cute cheeks! Her outfit was some kind of white dress with purple accents. The shoulderless sleeves gave me the impression of a kimono.

She had an aura that screamed royalty…

She almost looked like she was cosplaying, but that would be an ironic thing to say considering what I was wearing.

Then I finally processed her words.

"Oh shit!" My eyes widened. "Did I just become the accomplice to a crime?!"

"So you admit it!" She yelled.

Yes…yes I did.

Semi-medieval setting. And I had just pissed off what was most likely a noble…

"Fuuuuuuuck…"

Chapter End