Flirting with Death

by Aini NuFire

A whumpier ending to the 3xK episode

"Flirting with Death"

Castle quirked a confused look at Jerry. "Aren't you going to ask what happened?"

Jerry's equally uncertain look only perplexed him further.

"To your girlfriend," Castle emphasized. "Donna. You didn't ask about her. You just asked about Gates." Now the wheels were turning, the way they did when he was on the cusp of figuring out the ending of a book. "That doesn't make any sense unless…" His eyes widened in realization. "She was supposed to die."

"I don't know what—"

"And McCardle didn't get the money for the surgery until after you got out of prison," Castle barreled on.

Ryan shifted, flicking a wary look at Jerry as his hand moved slowly to his holster.

"He's removing all evidence he was even there," Castle continued. "It was him all along. He's the real Triple Killer!"

Ryan went to draw his gun, but Jerry was too close and moved too fast. Before the detective could get his weapon up to shoot, Jerry had brandished a switchblade Castle hadn't even seen and stabbed the knife into Ryan's stomach. He doubled over with a shocked gasp, but in the next second, Jerry sucker punched him so hard he went crashing to the floor. Jerry then snatched up Ryan's gun and had it pointed at Castle before the writer could even react.

"Guilty as charged."

Castle could only stare in bewilderment. How had he not seen this coming? He was the one who came up with the wild theories that turned out to be true. It was the perfect story.

Jerry grabbed the back of the motel room chair and dragged it over, then gestured with the gun for Castle to take a seat.

Keeping his hands up, he did as instructed, casting a worried look at Ryan on the floor. Jerry hadn't pulled the knife out when he attacked, which Castle knew from research meant most of Ryan's blood would stay in his body. But that didn't mean they weren't both in very real trouble here.

Jerry grabbed some cord from his duffel bag and tied Castle to the chair. He then knelt behind Detective Ryan and rolled him forward so he could yank both arms behind him. Ryan let out a pained sound as the switchblade bumped the floor, and Castle reflexively jerked in his bonds. Ryan's eyelids fluttered, still dazed from the blows.

"That story about Gates getting arrested," Castle said. "That was your story, wasn't it? You were afraid you were gonna get caught, so you hid in prison."

"Too bad you didn't figure that out sooner," Jerry replied.

"Too bad you didn't leave sooner," Castle rejoined. "The cops will be here any minute."

Jerry fished Ryan's cell phone out of his jacket and flipped it open. His mouth twitched with a smirk. "Looks like Detective Ryan called the precinct just before you got here. There won't be anybody missing me for a while. By the time they do, I'll be long gone."

"You won't get far," Castle pressed, unsure if he was trying to buy time or he simply couldn't help himself. "They already have your name, know your face."

"I'll change those. I've done that before." Jerry pocketed Ryan's wallet. "That's part of the fun of it."

"Fun, like setting up Gates?"

Jerry shrugged. "Paul McCardle was the only person in the world that he cared about. Once I learned that, the rest was easy." He pulled out Ryan's badge with another smirk. "You never know when you need one of these. Besides, Gates liked prison."

"You taught Gates everything he needed to know to take the fall for the Triple Killer murders. After that, all you had to do was pay for Paul's surgery and you could walk away scot-free. That's a beautiful plan. Undone by a duffel bag."

"I'm not undone. I'm right here. I'll relocate. I'll start over." Jerry turned to Castle with an expression of a predator considering its prey. "It must eat you alive knowing that you came so close to catching me. But this is a winner-take-all type of game." He raised the gun.

"Oh, Jerry!" Castle half tutted, trying to cover his surge of panic. "Shooting? It's not your style."

Jerry folded his arms in front of himself. "You really don't know me at all, do you?" he said, almost sounding disappointed.

"It's not complicated," Castle answered. Keep him here, keep his attention away from his escape. "You were raised by a single mother. She was blonde. She was beautiful. But she never wanted you. When you were, what, twelve, I'm guessing, she died suddenly. Let's say drug overdose."

Jerry's gaze bored into him.

"You go into foster care, the bad kind. You have so much hate," Castle continued. "So much hate towards your mother for abandoning you that you kill these women to get back at her. But you leave them looking peaceful because, as much as you hated your mother, you loved your mother." Castle canted his head with that cocky bravado he was so used to projecting. "Am I getting warm?"

Jerry leaned forward, bringing himself closer to Castle's seated eye level. "You're drawn to death. You like to be around it 'cause it thrills you. Now where does that come from? Your own suppressed impulses?"

Castle stared back. Just keep talking. It didn't matter about what. Surely Beckett would come through that door any second.

"How close to death do you want to get, huh?"

Castle's pulse jumped but he forced himself to remain still.

His cell phone ringing interrupted the standoff.

Jerry reached past him to retrieve it off the bed. The caller ID read "Home."

"Don't say anything you shouldn't," Jerry warned and hit answer, putting it on speaker and aiming the gun over his forearm at Castle.

"Hello?" he said stiffly.

"Darling, I just wanted you to know, your conspiracy theories are completely unfounded."

Castle never moved his gaze from Jerry's. "My conspiracy theories?" he repeated.

"Uh-huh! Alexis's secret admirer is Ashley, her boyfriend!"

"Oh, that's great. Thanks."

"And he's a very charming young man," Martha went on, oblivious to Castle's monotone responses. "So, anyway, no need to worry, all's well that ends well."

Castle didn't say anything. Jerry arched a brow at him.

"Richard?"

"I love you," he said.

Jerry snapped the phone shut, ending the call. "I don't think there's anything more to say."

Castle braced himself for the end, his mind oddly flashing back to the waiver he signed when he first started shadowing Beckett. The police department could not be sued if he got shot and killed.

But Jerry tucked the gun in his waistband and turned away. Castle blinked in confusion, but then his heart lurched as Jerry knelt in front of Ryan instead. He grabbed the knife and pulled it out, releasing a torrent of blood that quickly began soaking through the detective's shirt.

"Jerry…" Castle started, trying to get the killer's attention back on him, though he didn't feel particularly heroic about the action, only stupid.

Jerry wiped the blade on the bedspread and then flipped it closed and pocketed it. He grabbed his duffel, and then walked out of the room without another word, shutting the door behind him and leaving Castle bound to a chair with Ryan bleeding out on the floor.

Castle jerked at his bonds, but they were tied tightly. Why hadn't he done any hands-on research about getting out of restraints other than duct tape?

Because for all his antics and sense of craft, he wasn't Nikki Heat, or Derrek Storm.

"Ryan," he called urgently. "Can you hear me?"

Ryan's eyes were half-lidded instead of fully closed, but his pallor had gone a sickly, pasty white and his breathing was shaky.

"Kevin!"

A muffled moan made its way to Castle's ears.

"Just hold on," he urged. "Beckett will find us. Just hold on."

Jerry couldn't have been gone a full minute before sirens echoed outside. For a second, Castle thought desperation was causing him to hallucinate, but then he saw glimpses of flashing red and blue lights through the curtains. Help had come.

"Backup's here, Ryan."

A few moments later, the door was kicked in and Kate's harried voice was shouting over the noise.

"Castle?"

"It's clear, he's gone," he reported quickly. "Ryan needs an ambulance. Jerry stabbed him."

Esposito was right behind Beckett and immediately went to his partner. "Son-of-a-bitch," he cursed.

Beckett darted back out the broken door and yelled, "We need a bus, officer down!"

Esposito untied Ryan's wrists and rolled him onto his back, then pressed both hands over the stab wound. Ryan jerked and let out a pained sound.

"I got you, bro, stay with me," Javier urged.

Beckett swiftly undid the cord at Castle's back, her eyes wide as she looked him over.

"I'm fine," he assured her, rubbing one of his wrists. "Jerry's the Triple Killer. He set Gates up to be a copycat."

"I know," she replied. "I did the math when you and Ryan didn't come back from talking to him." She turned and dropped to her knees next to Kevin. His one arm was still slightly twisted beneath him, and Kate maneuvered it free. He choked on a grunt as he was jostled.

"Sorry," she said.

"Keep those eyes open," Esposito ordered his partner.

Ryan tried to obey, but either the blood loss or the knock to the head was making it too difficult.

"He might have a concussion too," Castle put in.

Esposito's eyes flashed darkly. "What the hell happened?"

"It was Jerry all along," Castle repeated. "He would have gotten away clean but I…I figured it out. I didn't see the knife until…" He swallowed hard as he looked down at Ryan. The detective's eyes were going cloudy and his tremors were lessening.

Kate leaned over him, clasping the sides of his neck. "Stay with us, Ryan."

His half-lidded eyes fixed on hers for a pregnant moment before slipping shut.

"Where are the paramedics?" she yelled.

"Pulling up now," a uniformed officer in the doorway answered.

"Don't you dare check out on me now," Esposito snapped at his unconscious partner, pressing harder on the stab wound, perhaps to elicit a reaction, however painful. There was none.

"Come on, Ryan," Beckett urged, flicking a frantic look between all the blood and the detective's closed eyes.

Castle felt the air leaving his lungs.

A pair of EMTs finally rushed into the room. Beckett scrambled out of the way, but Esposito refused to move. Even when they pulled out gauze pads to place over the wound, Esposito continued to apply pressure. Castle could only watch in an almost numb state.

"Come on," Beckett said, tugging at his arm. "Let's get out of their way."

Castle let her lead him downstairs. The lot was full of cop cars, and even the captain was there, barking out orders for the manhunt that would ensue. Castle knew Jerry had gotten away, though.

The clanking of the gurney sounded on the steps as the paramedics brought Ryan down and to the waiting ambulance. Esposito climbed in the back with them. Beckett asked what hospital they were going to, but Castle didn't hear the answer. He was feeling oddly detached as he moved to get into Beckett's car so they could follow.

"Castle?" she queried, tone laced with concern.

"I'm fine," he repeated.

"Just because he didn't touch you doesn't mean you're fine."

He blinked, the horror of what happened finally sinking in. Ryan could die, all because Castle didn't figure it out sooner.

"We'll catch him," she promised.

He didn't respond. They both knew it wasn't as simple as declaring it so.

"How did you know to come to the motel?" he asked.

Beckett's mouth quirked. "Your mom called. She said that you told her that you loved her, and she figured something must be terribly wrong."

Castle nodded. "I figured she might. Good girl."

"You should call her."

Right. Castle reached for his phone, only to realize it wasn't there. He straightened sharply. "Jerry took both our phones. You can track their GPS…" He trailed off. Of course Jerry would have dumped them somewhere just to throw them off.

Beckett just nodded grimly. "We'll do that. Here, you can use mine." She pulled hers out and passed it over.

Castle punched in the numbers.

"Beckett?" his mother answered anxiously. "What is it? What happened?"

"It's me, Mother," he said. "I'm fine."

"Richard," Martha exhaled heavily. "What the hell is going on? I thought someone had a gun to your head."

He grimaced. "They did. Thank you for calling Beckett. I really am okay now."

His mother let out another audible exhalation. "Well, thank God for that. When are you coming home?"

Castle faltered. "Um, probably not for a while. We're on our way to the hospital."

"Richard—"

"Not for me. Detective Ryan. He's… He was hurt pretty bad. I promise you, I'm fine. I'll call you later. Oh, and my cell phone is gone, so I'll probably be calling from different numbers."

Martha huffed. "All right. I'll tell Alexis not to worry."

Castle cringed. He hated his daughter finding out about these close calls, but keeping it from her or lying wasn't the thing to do.

Beckett kept casting concerned looks his way the whole drive to the hospital, but once they were there, her attention finally shifted to Ryan.

"They rushed him into surgery," Esposito said, meeting them in the hall.

"How bad is it?" Castle asked fearfully.

Esposito shrugged helplessly. "I don't know. They were throwing around a lot of jargon I couldn't follow. It- it didn't look good."

"Ryan's tough," Kate interjected.

Esposito just nodded. "I called Jenny. She's out of town but going to catch the next flight back."

"Let me know when she gets in and I'll pick her up," Beckett said.

Javier nodded.

They found chairs in the waiting room and parked themselves in them. Sometime later, the captain arrived. After asking about Ryan—of which there was no news—he informed them of the failed efforts to catch Jerry. Castle wasn't surprised.

"He took Ryan's gun and badge," he remembered to tell them.

The three cops shared grim looks at that.

"I'll let Dispatch know," Montgomery said and stepped out to make the call.

Kate slipped her hand into Castle's. After a long moment, she quietly asked, "Why did he let you live?"

Castle's chest constricted. "To punish me. To make me watch Ryan die while he got away and not be able to do a thing about it."

"How close to death do you want to get, huh?"

"It's not your fault, Castle."

"If I had figured it out just a minute sooner…"

"Don't go there, Rick. Don't do that to yourself. Jerry fooled all of us. We caught Gates in the act of attempted murder. There was no reason to suspect it was a setup. How did you figure it out, anyway?"

Castle leaned back in the uncomfortable chair. "Jerry didn't bat an eye when we told him Gates had gone after Donna. He never cared about her. She was just another piece in his game."

"We'll see how he likes to play when I catch up to him," Esposito vowed darkly.

Beckett gave Castle's hand a squeeze and then stood up. "I'll get us some coffee."

Castle idly thought about offering to help, but he couldn't muster the wherewithal to move. And so he stayed where he was, an unmoving fixture mirroring Esposito sitting across from him. When Kate returned with hospital coffee in styrofoam cups, he sipped mindlessly at it, not even fazed by the terrible quality of it.

The captain returned, and Lanie arrived sometime after that. It was hours before a doctor in scrubs came out to see them, and then they were all on their feet in an instant, anxious for news.

"He lost a lot of blood," the surgeon began. "And the knife nicked his liver, but the surgery to repair it went well. The next 24 hours will be critical."

"Can we see him?" Esposito asked.

The doctor nodded. "We're keeping him on the ventilator for the time being," he warned. "The blow to the head he received isn't serious on its own, but combined with the anesthesia, we need to be cautious."

Castle swallowed hard.

"Thank you, Doctor," the captain said.

He stayed back, as did Lanie, but the rest of them followed a nurse back to Ryan's room. Despite the foreknowledge, seeing him hooked up to a breathing machine with a tube down his throat nearly stole the breath from Castle's own lungs. Esposito went to one side of the bed, Beckett to the other, each of them reaching out to touch a forearm, a shoulder, letting Ryan know they were there. Castle found himself frozen on the spot.

Beckett flicked her gaze back to him. "Come on, Castle, I'll take you home."

"I'm fine," he said, veracity belied by the hollow tone.

"Martha and Alexis will want to see you."

And Castle wanted to see them, wanted to hug them, but it didn't seem right, somehow.

"I'll be here," Javier said. "I'm not going anywhere."

"Call me," Kate told him. "Often."

He nodded, and Kate moved to lead Castle out of the room. He didn't put up any more protest. They passed Montgomery and Lanie in the waiting room, and Kate said she was taking Castle home. He felt like a child, and he spent the drive pulling himself out of this funk so that when he walked through the door, he was more himself, albeit subdued. His mother and daughter hugged him, and he hugged back fiercely. Of course they wanted to know what happened and he told them, though he left out some of the more harrowing details. After that, he agreed to shower and get some sleep so in the morning he'd be ready to go back to the hospital and share in the vigil of their friend.

Ryan was still on the ventilator, but no complications had arisen overnight, which was a good sign. Castle brought Esposito some coffee and offered to sit with Kevin for a bit while he took a walk and found a bathroom to freshen up in. Esposito accepted, tearing himself away from his partner reluctantly.

Castle sat in a chair by the bed, listening to the rhythmic psh-shaw of the machine and beeping of the monitor. He stared at the moving spikes and dips of the lines on the screen. Too bad he'd never researched what they meant. A nurse came in to change the IV bag.

"How is he?" Castle asked.

"Stable," the young man replied.

Stable was good. So why did it still feel so grave?

Esposito returned and reclaimed his seat on the other side of the bed.

"Have they said how long they're leaving him on the ventilator?" Castle asked.

"Doc mentioned taking him off this afternoon."

They sat in silence after that, only the monotonous sounds of the hospital in the backdrop.

Beckett came in around 9. "Hey," she greeted. "Any change?"

Both Castle and Esposito wordlessly shook their heads.

"I talked to Jenny," Javier said. "Bad weather delayed her flight. She won't get in until later tonight."

"I can't imagine a worse time to be stuck in an airport," Castle remarked.

"Hopefully by the time she does get here, Ryan will be awake and on the mend so she won't have to worry seeing him like this," Kate replied.

Castle supposed that was true. And he didn't imagine Ryan would want Jenny to be upset.

"What about Jerry?" Esposito asked.

Beckett shook her head. "Nothing. No hits at any of the airports or bus terminals."

"He's long gone," Castle said grimly. Free to go on killing. He'd change his MO so as not to be detected.

"One day he'll be caught," Kate said. "No one gets away with murder forever."

Considering it'd taken twelve years to find her mother's killer, she spoke from experience. Castle supposed he could take some comfort in that.

The three of them hung around the hospital room that morning into the afternoon. When the doctor and nurses came to remove the breathing tube, they were forced to vacate and watch from outside. Ryan was so still throughout the process, Castle couldn't help but imagine that what they were really doing was pulling the plug.

But the morbid thought wasn't reality, and after several minutes of monitoring Kevin's vitals, the doctor and nurses left, reporting he was doing well. He looked much better without the tube in his mouth, more like he was just sleeping and healing.

They resumed their vigil. If any new murders happened in New York, Beckett wasn't called.

Castle didn't do well with boredom, and since he hadn't brought his laptop with him, he resorted to napkins and a small notepad for taking down brainstorming notes for Nikki Heat. Beckett and Esposito talked quietly, some serious about this case, some humorous reminiscing of past ones, particularly at Ryan's expense. Castle jotted down a few of those stories as he idly listened.

"Yo, Ryan," Esposito suddenly said, lurching forward in his chair toward the bed.

Castle looked up to find Ryan's eyes were open, gaze bleary but awake.

"Hey," he said softly, voice faint from the intubation. He flicked a groggy look around the room. "Everyone's here. Was it that bad?"

"Nah," Esposito said. "We just figured if you were gonna get a day off, we should too."

"Doctors say you're gonna be fine," Beckett put in, smiling warmly down at him. "Jenny's on her way back."

Kevin frowned. "Is she upset?"

"She's worried about you," Kate answered.

Ryan looked crestfallen. "She might leave me over this."

Castle furrowed his brow in confusion. "What? Why would she do that?"

"It's one thing to know a cop's life is dangerous; it's another to see it happen."

"She won't leave you, bro," Esposito said. "And if she does, then she wasn't good enough for you to begin with."

Beckett reached over to squeeze Ryan's forearm. "I'm sure she's just going to be relieved to know you're okay."

Ryan glanced down at himself, though his injury was hidden under the blanket. "Things are kind of hazy. Jerry?"

The rest of them exchanged somber looks.

"He got away," Kate told him. "But we know the truth about him now."

Ryan flicked his gaze toward Castle. "You okay?"

Castle blinked. "Yeah, I'm fine. Jerry didn't stab me."

"I remember him threatening to shoot you."

"For a moment there, yeah. But he didn't. I'm fine."

Ryan nodded, eyes slipping closed. "Good," he murmured.

Esposito patted his arm. "Get some rest, bro. We're not going anywhere."

"Mm-mm," he mumbled, struggling to open his eyes again regardless. He blinked sluggishly at Castle and his lap full of notes. "This going in a book?"

Castle broke into a smile. "I think it can. Given I like the ending."

Ryan also smiled as he drifted off.

Castle leaned back in his seat to get comfortable. He was drawn to death, but unlike Jerry, it wasn't about the act of violence, as creative as he got with them in his books; it was about bringing closure to those wronged by murder, about bringing justice to those heinous killers. Being surrounded by death gave him a greater appreciation for the living.

And the fragility of life. Castle glanced at Kate. As though connected by an invisible cord, she looked at him in return.

Yeah, Castle wasn't drawn to death. He was drawn to her.

And one day he'd have to do something about it.