CHAPTER 6: GAINS & LOSSES
"Uh, thanks for having me over." Jack said. "Sorry 'bout the mess."
The wiry, lightly-dressed man he was addressing didn't respond, but then, that was no surprise. Instead, he stared suspiciously around the single room home he had just returned to. At this reaction, Jack couldn't help but take another look around.
From where he stood, it wasn't exactly a mess. Nothing had been broken or moved around the hut. But yeah, it was definitely a little more disorderly than the man had left it this morning. The animal pelt bed was rumpled and dishevelled, a few of the tribal masks were out of place, and the wicker baskets had lost their lids so their contents could be perused. It was clear that someone had been here while he'd been gone, and searched the place top to bottom. Nothing had been stolen, but it was still an unpleasant surprise to come home to.
"Hey, if it makes you feel any better, you're not the only one coming home to this." Jack offered as he slipped past the man and headed back out.
He wasn't wrong. Everyone in the tribe would be returning today to find their homes rummaged through like this. And many of the tribes of this part of Africa would be having the same experience. It had been a busy afternoon for Jack, though not a productive one.
Frustrated, he reached into his pocket and pulled out the crumpled piece of parchment he'd been carrying since yesterday. Opening it up, he took another hard look at what was painted there. It looked rather like a man, though one with disproportionately long limbs and big, crescent-shaped ears. Artistically wavy lines had been drawn all over its grey skin, and it was down on its knees as if in prayer. Jack squinted and turned the paper over, hoping that a look from a different angle might make something fall into place in his mind. But in the end, he had to admit that he hadn't seen anything like this during his search today.
His visit to the Tooth Palace yesterday had produced results much faster and more easily. After an unsettling discussion about Jack's right to make Elsa immortal, it hadn't even been an hour-long search for Toothiana to find what he'd come looking for. She'd searched through the memories of those who'd inhabited this region of Africa in the thirteen thirties, and painted a vivid early history of the Moonstone that had arrived. Several weeks after it had crash-landed on the savanna (in April 1338), hunters from one of the local tribes had discovered the small, grey chunk of rock in its crater. Believing it to be supernatural in nature, they'd returned to their village with it and turned it over to the shaman to decide its fate. Apparently, that fate was to be carved into an idol representing a deity the tribe worshipped, and displayed in a public place.
Unfortunately, what some considered sacred, others considered the spoils of war. Conflict had brewed between tribes in central Africa more than once over the next five centuries, and in all that chaos, the idol seemed to have been taken as a trophy. Tooth had not had the heart to view such blood-soaked memories, and Jack hadn't pushed her to look. At least now he knew exactly what he was looking for, and a little more precisely where. All he'd asked for was a description of the idol – the incredible painting he now carried, which his fellow Guardian had put together in no time – and a list of the tribes in the region. Today, all he'd done was narrow down the list to about half. He still had a ways to go.
Exhausted in the hot African savanna, the bringer of winter looked up at the sun. It was late afternoon, both here and in Arendelle, he observed. This meant he had another hour or two before night fell, so he might be able to squeeze in anoth-
It's late afternoon in Arendelle! Jack realized with a jolt. And it's Friday!
A lot had happened this past few days, from realizing he and Elsa would be separated forever if he didn't make her immortal to battling a giant snowman, to flying all over the world looking for magic rocks. But as far as he knew, none of that had changed he and Elsa's plans for the week – which ended with a date Friday night! Elsa was expecting him back by this evening! Determined not to let her down, Jack triggered his staff and launched himself into the sky.
He barely made it a hundred meters off the ground before slowing to a hover, looking around the African landscape with a torn expression.
Leaving this land and getting a little closer to Elsa, Jack had felt himself getting a little further from the Moonstone that had to be here somewhere. It was so close, he just knew it. The temptation to head to another tribe and continue his search instead was overwhelming. Just one more village, his instincts reasoned, and then he would take off for dinner with his Snow Angel. If he did it fast, it would take ten minutes, and he could still make it. Besides, if he was late, Elsa would understand – especially if he did find the idol in the next village, maybe even the next hut!
He had to do this. He had to find the Moonstone as soon as he could. This had to be his priority! Nothing could be more important than finding a way of keeping Elsa with him!
Except for actually having Elsa with him.
Jack felt like he was being pulled in two opposing directions at once. If he went to Arendelle now, he would be putting off his search for a Moonstone for at least a few hours. For all he knew, those few hours could be critical to his search. What if the idol was moved to another location while he was up north with Elsa? What if it was destroyed while he was enjoying a chat and some hors d'oeuvres? His chance to save her could have been within his reach right now, and it could slip between his fingers if he made the wrong choice!
But if he cancelled tonight's date to continue his search... sure, maybe Elsa would understand this time. But where would it stop after that? What if the next time he had a lead on a Moonstone was also on date night? Would he stand her up that time as well? How many dates, special moments with Elsa, would he give up in his search? How many times would he be able to desert her before she stopped understanding? Even if he told her what he was looking for, how much would that get her to pardon his absence from her life lately? How much time with Elsa did he have to give up to get all the time in the world with her?
Jack sighed. Until he knew for sure, he had to assume the answer was "none". Making a mental note to stash the parchment he carried somewhere safe before meeting Elsa, he pushed his staff's power to its fullest and resumed his northward flight. He would just have to hope that the Moonstone was still somewhere close by, and would stay there for another day. Right now, he had a date that would keep Elsa's love for him alive to get to. Finding immortality for her would do him no good if he lost her along the way.
As the Guardian of Fun rocketed off, he never spotted the dark, horse-like creature eyeing him from nearby, as it had all day.
Several hours earlier...
It was a beautiful day in Arendelle, and late that morning, a certain snowman strolled brightly across the bridge into town, quill, ink bottle, map, and blank parchments in his hands. After much thought that had consumed the rest of his Thursday, Olaf had decided there was only one way to find out what belonged on the to do list of his life; by asking.
Of course, where life itself was concerned, even he knew that there was no expert, not even Anna and Elsa. So if he was going to find out what was important enough to make the list, all he had to rely on was the majority. So today, he would talk to just that. He would go door to door around Arendelle, asking what was on other people's lists.
To get to anyone's door, though, he would first have to cross Arendelle's market, and as he reached the end of the bridge, Olaf found that there wasn't much to cross. Gone was the usual bustle of customers milling around and the miniature town of stalls and carts. Instead, there were just a few locals still deep in the process of clearing away debris created by his fellow snowman's rampage. Of Marshmallow himself, there was no sign, the ice and snow of his body long since melted away. At this, Olaf just continued on timidly, trying not to get lost in the place where lives had been endangered, turned upside down, and in one case, even ended. He was on the much more optimistic mission of finding out what important things he ought to do before his life was over, and he didn't want that spoiled.
Leaving the ruins of the market behind, he reached the first house on the street nearest to the castle (according to his map of the kingdom). Stepping up to the door, he cleared his throat, knocked, and tried to look both pleasant and professional as he waited. After a moment of muffled footsteps, the door swung open with a creak to reveal an old man with a thick, grey beard and a cane. He gave a good-natured grin upon seeing his innocent visitor.
"Hi there!" Olaf beat him to the greeting. "I'm Olaf, and I like warm hugs. Can I ask you one little question?"
"Sure, go ahead." came the answer.
"What important thing do you wanna do before you die?"
The smile disappeared from the old man's face, replaced with a thunderstruck expression which rapidly morphed into one of mutinous insult. Abandoning all politeness, he stepped back and slammed the door shut without another word.
"That might have come out wrong." Olaf advised himself, his bright attitude never wavering as he turned and left. "Maybe I should reword that..."
Seconds later, he knocked on the door across from the first. A young, frazzled-looking woman cradling a toddler in her arms answered.
"Yes?" she asked, hastily smiling.
"Hello!" Olaf started again. "I've got a question, if you've got a minute."
"Um, of course."
"What's on your..." Olaf trailed off, glancing into space as he realized he didn't quite remember what the term Anna had taught him about was. "Your, um... 'chuck it list'?... 'Duck it list'?... 'Fu-"
He didn't get to finish that attempt before the woman, fearing for the innocence of her child who was most likely just starting to say words, abruptly shut the door. To his credit, the snowman quickly realized why, and turned away casually, undeterred from his goal. As he stepped down from the doorstep, he caught sight of a wooden pail sitting nearby.
"'Bucket list', that's it!" he loudly put the mental pieces together. "Okay, now I know what I'm asking. What could go wrong?"
He moved on to the next door, and knocked. A boy and girl, neither even five years old, answered with curious expressions.
"Hiii! I'm here to ask what's on your bucket list!" Olaf addressed them in a friendly manner. After a pause, he meekly added, "That's... not offensive, right?"
"What's a bucket list?" the girl, the older of the two, queried blankly.
"You dunno?" her brother asked her, seeming genuinely surprised.
"Oh, it's okay!" Olaf assured them. "I didn't know until last Sunday! It's a list of the important stuff you wanna do before you die!"
"Die?" the girl asked, only further confused.
"What's die?" the boy seconded her.
For the first time today, Olaf's rosy attitude came to a crashing halt. It was all he could do to keep his smile in place as he realized he was asking the wrong crowd, and had gotten into a discussion he wasn't ready to have.
"Oookay!" he concluded with nervous quietness. "That's all I need! Have a good day!"
And then he closed the door himself, turned, and allowed his grin to fall so he could heave a sigh of relief. A few seconds passed, and he shook himself back to cheerfulness.
"Okay, world!" he said to no one in particular. "Enough kidding around. Let's do this for real!"
With that, Olaf skipped over to the next house, and knocked on the door. Before it opened, the upbeat music began.
"Hi, I'm c'nducting a survey so I can get the gist
Of what items are s'posed to go onto a bucket list!
What records are you gonna set, what mountains will you climb?
There's so much to live for, and so little time!" he warbled happily.
"Well, I've always wanted to some spend time in Paris, France." one middle-aged woman admitted in song.
"And I wanna give a try to the Chinese water sleeve dance!" her younger sister chimed in, making a flourishing move in demonstration.
"Meet up with some relatives a few kingdoms away." a young man later crooned in passing.
"Be in the chocolate sculpt contest, and fin'lly get first place!" a chocolatier sang as he carved a white chocolate statuette (that was starting to look like Olaf).
"A sweet success!" Olaf agreed, helping himself to some chocolate chips.
"I want to help deliver a joey before I die." the veterinarian answered musically, enthusiastically showing off his textbook of marsupials.
"Do what Da Vinci couldn't and get this thing in the sky!" a carpenter carolled as she assembled a flying machine.
"Hop into the ocean and go swimming with a whale." a young barmaid trilled.
"To do my part in locating the long-lost Holy Grail." the archbishop chanted sagely as he lit the chapel's candles (Olaf pitched in, accidentally setting one of his stick hairs alight).
"This seems like public knowledge, so this might sound kinda dumb.
But what important thing d'you wanna do before you, umm...?
You wanna take up painting, mermaid hunting, or mime?
There's so much to live for, and so little time!" Olaf sang as he made his way through the streets.
"Oh, I'm gonna drink an entire barrel of Irish beer." a man nearing middle age confidently reported in song, leaning against a barrel bigger than the snowman.
"I'll write plays 'til I beat the record set by Will Shakespeare!" a playwright chorused majestically, throwing her quill like a dart at a nearby portrait of the Bard of Avon.
"Ride a train." an adolescent boy intoned with a shrug.
"Kiss in the rain." a seamstress crooned dreamily.
"Bake a cookie big as the gates!" a baker blurted out, not bothering to sing it.
"Get all the way to Holland in just a dinghy." a sailor piped, gesturing across the fjord to the horizon.
"Hey, that's great!" Olaf agreed, jotting this latest entry down.
"Wow! I never knew there was so much out there that counts
When you talk about all the stuff that a great life amounts!
To pass on any of it, well, that'd be a real crime.
There's so much to live for, and so little time!" the snowman carolled joyfully around the docks.
The music slowed down to half its original tempo as he reached the ruined market, and he began toward the exact site of Marshmallow's demise.
"Marshmaaallow, buddyyyy... you nevvver got the channnnce
To scullpt, baake, traavel, wri-hite, eat, act, or dannnnce...
I wonn't maake yooour mistaake, won't let life go to waaaste!
I'll dooo what really maatters, and I'll dooo it with haaaaaste!" Olaf vowed in song.
After a moment, the rhythm of the music picked back up.
"Well, I guess that's one and all, so thank you, everyone,
For telling me what I should do before my days are done!
Now I know what's important, what mountains I must climb!
There's so much to live for, and sooo littttle tiiiiiiiime!" Olaf sang as he made his way back to the castle late in the afternoon, everyone he'd spoken to waving goodbye amicably.
And so, shortly after the snowman's big finish, the song came to an end, and everyone returned to what they'd been doing beforehand. Olaf gave a contented sigh as he continued up the bridge toward home.
"Well, that made for a day's work!" he congratulated himself. "And I'll bet this list 'll make for another two or... three, or..."
He trailed off, his merry look fading and his gait stopping as he really looked at the list for the first time today. He'd only been scrawling items onto it one at a time as they were told to him, not even bothering to keep count of them. Nor had it, at any earlier point, really stricken him just how many people lived in Arendelle, or how many important things each might tell him about. But now... his eyes grew wide, his jaw dropped, and several pieces of parchment slipped from his hands to flutter to the ground. Every page was peppered, top to bottom, on both sides, with bucket list items.
Several hours earlier...
"And, check!" Anna announced dynamically. "All right, next up on the list?"
Olaf had not returned from his trip into town even for lunch, and after deciding they could wait a few hours before they were worried enough to start a search party, the Princess and Queen had taken advantage of their having the castle practically to themselves to spend a little time together as sisters.
Lately, that had also meant spending time together as bride-to-be and her maid of honour, even when they wanted to be doing other things. But doing other things had been the problem for too long. Since Anna had become engaged to Kristoff, preparations for their wedding had been put off so many times for one reason or another. Sometimes it was a matter that required both the bride and the groom to be present, and Kristoff couldn't make it due to his work. Other times, Anna just got interested in something else, promising to address the latest preparation later. Poor timing, procrastination, and other such inconveniences had pushed the planning of the wedding closer and closer to the actual event for months.
Of course, part of the blame might have rested on Elsa's shoulders. When Anna had returned from a diplomatic trip to Corona last November, it had been with the news that Princess Rapunzel had become engaged, though the wedding was still months away. Apparently, King Frederic had insisted on this, stating that "a long engagement is a prelude to a long union". That part of the news Anna had lived to regret sharing. Elsa had taken a liking to the King of Corona's policy, and applied it to her sister's engagement, extending it by several months. If Anna had gotten her way, her wedding would have been mere weeks at most after Kristoff had placed a ring on her finger. Maybe she and Kristoff would have been more diligent about the wedding's plans, though, had they only had weeks to make them. All those little inconveniences that had hitherto delayed them had been waved off with the excuse that they had plenty of time to come back to them. Besides, Anna had reasoned, she worked better under pressure.
She had all the pressure she could want to work under now. The wedding was only weeks away, and everyone was scrambling to get preparations back on schedule. A few courses of the reception's dinner had still not yet been decided upon, a carpet for the aisle Elsa would walk Anna down hadn't yet been chosen, and it turned out that some of the flower arrangements the sisters had selected might not have been available after all. If nothing else, the entire planning of this event was appropriate to the couple that it was about. It was almost miraculous that the invitations had been sent out and responded to, at least giving the wider world the allusion that the wedding plans were on time.
This afternoon, the royal sisters were going over possibly the most important part of the ceremony; the vows. It had seemed like a simple task to them beforehand, but they were quickly proven wrong. There were dozens, maybe hundreds of variations of the wedding vows, some of them obvious and others swapping out just one small word in favour of another. Until now, it had never occurred to Elsa and Anna how many ways there were to say the same thing.
As important as giving her little sister the wedding of her dreams was to the young Queen, though, her mind kept wandering back to her personal quest, and its latest development – if it could be called that.
Yesterday had been more of a crushing defeat than a development, though it may only have been so crushing because everything had been going so well until then. Getting to hear the story of the magic flower without much insistence, tracing its origin to Corona with ease, making the trip there in seconds (without anyone noticing her absence from the castle), and verifying that the story was true from the first native of Corona she spoke to... only to discover that the flower was practically gone. It was akin to coming in first in a contest, only to find that the promised prize was a punch in the gut.
To Rapunzel's credit, she had tried to, so to speak, soften the blow. It turned out that there was much more to the tale of the magical flower – much of it had happened only a few years ago, so Elsa suspected Grand Pabbie hadn't heard it – and she had been kind enough to gently relay it all.
Many years before Corona's island had even been settled upon, the already folkloric flower was discovered on the mainland by an aging woman known only as Gothel. Instead of sharing its power, she'd opted to keep it hidden and use it to keep herself alive indefinitely. Despite her best efforts, the flower was discovered by the people of Corona little over twenty years ago. This particular search had not been conducted out of a sense of adventure or want for discovery like the others; it had been out of desperation. Late in her pregnancy, Queen Arianna had fallen gravely ill, and it had been deduced that only the legendary flower could save her and her unborn child – who would turn out to be Rapunzel. Once the flower had been secured, its essence was made into a medicine which ultimately cured the Queen.
Though the plant itself was destroyed, its power had lived on in Rapunzel when she was born. She'd been gifted with long, golden hair that functioned just like the flower had. Because cutting it robbed it of its power, Gothel had changed tactics and kidnapped baby Rapunzel, raising her in isolation as her own and continually using her power to keep herself young. But through a convoluted series of events just a few years ago, Rapunzel's eyes had been opened to the truth, Gothel had been defeated, and the Princess had been reunited with her parents. Her hair was no longer golden, but she could still call upon the magic inside her when it was needed.
This might have raised Elsa's spirits had that magic turned out to be quite what she'd expected. As Rapunzel's story had established, the healing ability she'd inherited from the flower had to be used on a regular basis in order to bestow immortality on anyone. All it did was reverse someone's body clock to a time of perfect health before allowing it to tick on. Gothel's eternal life had been incredibly conditional, nothing at all like Jack's, which was self-sustaining. Elsa using this power to make herself immortal would have meant becoming dependent on visits to Rapunzel – like a drug addict was on visits to their dealer – for eternity.
And it didn't even seem like Rapunzel had eternity herself. The Princess of Corona had gone on to state that, despite the magic inside her, as far as she was aware, she was still aging like everyone else. Even if she was currently bestowing those around her with the same unnaturally long life that she had Gothel, her own life was still finite. Unless she passed her magic on to a child of her own one day (which didn't seem to be in her and her husband's plans at the moment), the power of the drop of sunlight that had come to Earth so long ago was destined to leave it eventually.
All of this meant that the lead Elsa had gotten from Grand Pabbie could not bring her toward eternal life, but a dead end, setting her search all the way back to its first step. To say she'd been frustrated would have done her little justice – before coming back to Arendelle, she'd made a visit to the mountains to fully release her annoyance through her magic – but thankfully, she'd kept her composure in front of others well, ever the example of royal decorum. But even though her feelings had not caused a blizzard to erupt across Corona, Rapunzel had been able to guess at them, having witnessed her elation at practically finding her quarry just minutes before. The Princess hadn't known why Elsa's heart was so set on eternal life, but she'd still apologized for this setback, wished her luck in her search... and warned her of what dangers it entailed.
Rapunzel had pointed out that discovering a source of immortality had made her supposed mother Gothel hoard what could help many. As bad as that had been, brushes with losing it had driven her to much darker acts; kidnap, false imprisonment, and even murder. Gothel's want to live forever had made her into a monster. Rapunzel had hoped aloud that Elsa wouldn't stray down the same path, a thought that made them both shudder.
Still, it had made the Queen of Arendelle ponder just how far she was willing to go to obtain forever with Jack. "For him, there's no price I'm not willing to pay", she'd told Grand Pabbie, but that was before she'd known just what prices others had already had to pay. As far as even Rapunzel knew, Gothel had only made herself immortal out of a fear of death – hardly a reason to exist forever, but it had been enough for her to start kidnapping and killing. What would she, someone with a true reason to live, be willing to do?
Perhaps more importantly, what would Jack be willing to accept her doing? What if the only way to become immortal for her Guardian Angel was by doing even one thing he couldn't forgive? Would she lose his love that way? Wouldn't they be doomed to lose each other either way then?
It was a question she hoped never to answer, and one she certainly wasn't answering today. Today she'd already promised entirely to life here in Arendelle. And at the moment, that included an approaching wedding. Elsa looked down at the manual in her hand.
"And to forsake all others..." she read with a warm smile. "Holding only unto Kristoff..."
She trailed off, almost smirking, as Anna grimaced. This wasn't the first vow she'd made a face at this afternoon. It wasn't that the Princess was against the spirit of any of the things being read to her, she'd insisted, but some choices of words disagreed with her from a simply aesthetic standpoint.
What stopped Elsa from cracking a grin this time was what she saw in her little sister's eyes. There wasn't only distaste, but a trace of anxiety that hadn't been there before. Had she touched on something delicate?
"I think there's room for improvement there." Anna commented, visibly sensing a question on the way.
"What was wrong with that?"
"To me, that one's not saying what it thinks it's saying."
"It just means that you'll be faithful to him, that you won't b-"
"I-I know what it means! That's just... never been what I hear."
At this further ambiguity, Elsa furrowed her brow in suspicion.
"What do you hear?" she queried.
Anna pursed her lips, visibly choosing her words carefully before answering.
"It says 'all others', not 'all other... men that I could want', I guess." she said with unusual sombreness. "When I hear that someone has to 'forsake all others' to 'hold unto' their husband... it sounds to me like they're being asked to cut ties with everyone else. No family, no friends... just be the good wife who's at her husband's beck and call." She paused, and met Elsa's gaze. "And that's never gonna be me."
Elsa didn't reply right away, instead staring with wide eyes and raised eyebrows. Since the night her sister had become engaged to Kristoff, their approaching nuptials had been nothing short of a source of excitement for the Princess. Merely bringing it up (even reminding her of all the planning there was still to do) was often enough to give her shivers of ecstasy and put a giddy smile on her face. And it wasn't just the wedding day itself – the ceremony, the reception, the being the centre of attention for a full day – that she was eager for. Being part of a perfect, official couple bonded for life was something she'd been dreaming of for years before the Thaw. Her instant acceptance of her last proposal was proof enough of that.
Thankfully, that wedding hadn't come to pass, and Anna had matured in the months between her first engagement and her second, as Elsa had hoped. But this hadn't been how she'd hoped for it. She couldn't believe she was hearing such a realistic, if bleak, description of married life from her bubbly and hopeful sister. Where was this coming from so abruptly? What had changed her perspective on marriage so drastically?
Looking back on her last few days, it suddenly hit Elsa.
"Is this because of Mrs Norling?" she asked gently.
The way Anna squirmed uncomfortably answered the question much more than her words did.
"Maybe..." she muttered shyly.
"Anna..." Elsa held out a hand, which Anna took gratefully. "What she and her husband are going through... it is sad. But that's just one married couple. You can't assume they're all the same. You and Kristoff won't turn into that."
"Maybe not." She paused, struggling to admit her next words – more to herself than her sister. "But there are other ways he can hurt me. Even if he doesn't mean to."
Elsa didn't know exactly what other recent glimpse into the world of marriage was crossing her sister's mind at the moment, but it was clear that she was shaken by it. And the worst part was that she was right. From what she'd heard, there were various ways for some men to hurt their spouses, the more cunning of them using their wedding vows to keep doors closed and shield themselves from any sort of judgement. Elsa still couldn't picture the steady and genuine Kristoff deteriorating into such a person, though. Was this a case of cold feet?
"... Are you sure you're ready?" she dared to ask, if only in barely more than a whisper.
"What I have with Kristoff... it means everything to me." Anna confessed, a loving flicker crossing her eyes at the mention of it. "But I won't throw away the rest of my family for it. Especially when I just got you all."
Elsa couldn't help but beam adoringly at the admission, her heart melting. Instinctively, she got to her feet, Anna following suit and entering her embrace without even needing a cue. Several seconds passed in silence, with Elsa mentally channeling her love and protectiveness into her hold, and praying it was felt.
"You might be right." she finally spoke. "I don't know that Kristoff won't change, or that he'll never hurt you."
"I think your encouraging speech skills have slipped." Elsa felt the curve of Anna's smile as she mumbled that.
"But what I do know... is that you're not 'forsaking' us all. We will all always be right here when you want us, no matter what comes out of your marriage. You're not choosing Kristoff over the rest of us by marrying him."
When the sisters pulled apart, it was for one of them to see the other looking much more reassured than before.
"Yeah..." the younger one admitted. "You're not gonna lose me just because Kristoff is here to stay."
"That's right." Elsa responded. "You have such a big heart, even he could never take it all up."
Anna smirked.
"Yep." she agreed. "It's got enough room for you, him, Olaf, Sven, my future brother-in-law..."
Elsa's face instantly went red.
"Oh...!" she groaned with a grin, pushing her giggling sister away teasingly. "Let's just get through one wedding before we worry about another..."
Still chuckling, the sisters retook their seats before resuming their work.
"All right, no forsaking all others." Elsa concurred. "How about something like... 'and to want for no other suitors, remaining in love with Kristoff alone'?"
After a moment's thought, Anna sighed and shrugged, a grin playing at the edges of her lips.
"I dunno how you come up with this stuff on the first try." she admitted. "No, not 'something like' that. I want to say exactly that. That's perfect!"
"Then that's another vow done." Elsa declared fondly, jotting down her suggestion. "We're almost there, you're almost ready for your wedding. Only ten thousand other things to take care of once this is done."
"Hardy, har, har. What else do I have to say?"
Elsa took back up the manual and let its words flow out of her mouth without even really reading them.
"Holding only unto Kristoff, until death do you... part..."
Because that was the infamous end of the vow, the fact that Elsa trailed into stunned silence went largely unnoticed by her sister – something she would be infinitely grateful for later on. At the moment, though, she was unaware that she'd made it to the end. She was also unaware of how Anna was mulling it over with an expression of uncertainty. She was even unaware that her own breath had come to a complete stop.
All she was aware of was that Anna, her younger sister, was going to die.
Maybe it would be years before it happened, or maybe it would be in a random accident later today. Maybe it wouldn't even be for many decades. But sooner or later, Anna's time would run out, and no act of true love would grant her an extension again. Anna had accepted this. She was resolved to live out her days here in Arendelle with her husband, her sister, and the rest of her family before passing on to the next world.
And all week, Elsa had been resolved to stay in this one.
But now, that resolution trembled. For the first time since Jack's confession to her Sunday night, she felt like she could see everything so clearly – and she liked none of what she saw.
The consequences of her doing nothing remained the same. If she continued to live a finite human life, then she and Jack would eventually be torn from each other forever, causing them both immeasurable pain. That hadn't changed. But now she saw that succeeding in her quest would have as many pitfalls as failing. If her life became eternal, she would be forced to lose every loved one but Jack (and the other Guardians) someday. To become immortal for him would be to forsake all others – including Anna. And Heaven knew she'd already forsaken Anna too much in her life, and had no wish to do it again.
But for days, Elsa had been looking for a way to do just that. She'd effectively been looking for a way to stay here while she allowed Anna to leave forever. Meanwhile, Anna continued to assert that they would not lose each other again. That realization made the bringer of winter's heart rip itself to bloody shreds.
I'm the world's most horrible, selfish big sister! she mentally cried, barely able to stop herself from bursting into tears.
She'd practically chosen Jack over her own sister, barely even considered her! How could she be so thoughtless? How could she not have factored Anna into her plans for the future, when Anna was having doubts about her upcoming wedding over the mere idea of having to give up her big sister?! The younger one Anna may have been, but it was obvious which of them was the bigger person. Elsa didn't deserve her.
But she needed her. She'd always needed her.
And she needed Jack, too.
But she couldn't have them both. Not forever.
That was what paralyzed Elsa now. She stood at a crossroads. If she stayed mortal, she could conceivably be with her sister forever, both in life and in paradise afterward. But if she did that, she would be sacrificing everything Jack brought to her life, and condemning him to eternity without her in this world. On the other hand, if she lived forever, she and Jack could continue the relationship they enjoyed now for all time. But she would have to watch her younger sister grow old – older than her – and die one day, and would never see her again. In either case, she would be abandoning someone she loved, leaving a painful hole in both their heart and her own.
Elsa had only gotten Anna back little less than a year ago, and had welcomed Jack into her life even more recently than that, but now she felt like she was being forced to give one up and suffer the horror of losing the other. The world was making her choose between the ones she loved most, and she didn't know which was the right choice. She didn't know that there even was one. All she knew was that she was suddenly almost glad that she hadn't found the key to eternal life yet – and that she was more ashamed than ever of her feelings.
"That could definitely use work." Anna finally decided aloud. "Don't you think?"
Her words reaching her through the battlefield of her indecision, Elsa burst out of her thoughts and looked at the Princess, seeing her in an entirely new light. Several seconds elapsed before the light faded and she realized the question she had been asked.
"... Maybe." she answered honestly.
It was the end of another long work week in Arendelle. Had anyone been unaware of this, they wouldn't have had to look far to discover that it was Friday, even if there had been no calendars available. The people, filled with a different kind of energy than what they got on an evening preceding a workday, showed all the signs of having a weekend to look forward to. Schools and businesses that were only open weekdays were locked up with a hint more finality, and those who worked in them went home with more ease, not needing to get to bed early. Parents returned to their children with a little more willingness to stay up and play. And couples took advantage of being able to sleep in the next morning by going on dates. Jack had seen much of these signs when he'd flown in, on the way to his own such rendezvous.
Once he'd arrived at the castle (on time, he was pleased to say), it was to discover Elsa ready for their quiet night in – though, thus far, he hadn't even really been inside yet. On the balcony overlooking the courtyard, a table for two complete with candles had been set up, something whose existence in his life never ceased to amaze Jack. Here he'd been, the three hundred year-old Guardian of Fun who was still a little boy at heart, sitting at a dinner table to eat, drink, and make conversation like any other young man in a relationship. A year ago, this had been practically unthinkable, much less possible to him, the same way flying halfway around the world and back in less than a day had been for Elsa then. It only went to show how much their lives had changed for the better thanks to their meeting.
Conversation about their week – the part Jack had secretly been dreading all day – over their dinner of gravlax and chopped up vegetables had followed. Obviously, he wasn't ready to tell Elsa that he was looking for a way to make her immortal, but unfortunately, that search had occupied a good share of his week. Consequently, he'd ended up spending most of the dinner making sure he didn't accidentally mention any part of his quest, treating the conversation like walking across the surface of a frozen lake; struggling to stay where it was safe, away from the cracked areas he could fall through. For once, he'd been devoutly grateful that he'd had a dinner to occupy his mouth part of the time.
Elsa had also seemed to be a little quieter than usual, he'd noticed, but that might have been his own secrecy he was picking up on, not any of her own. Thankfully, both bringers of winter had made it through the eating and catching up part of their date without anything going awry, arriving at what probably both of them had been looking forward to; an ice-off in the courtyard below.
This was something they'd discovered was possible the night they'd first met, and it had only been cemented as something that was for them alone in the months since. To an observer, an ice-off probably looked like nothing more than a contest of skill with their matching winter powers, but they knew it was so much more than that. While either Jack or Elsa occasionally pulled a fast one on one of each other's creations just to tease them – like she making a bird of prey to snatch up a small animal he'd created – no ice-off was ever really a competition. Even when they acted like it was, they were really working together, creating multiple different things of ice and snow that would eventually be parts of one whole. In that, their little game became more of a dance, with few words exchanged, but motions and magic communicating all feelings. And when that happened, the bringers of winter felt like they themselves were whole.
It was easy to get carried away and lose track of time in these instances, and tonight was no exception. Jack had only noticed that a couple of hours had passed since dinner when he and Elsa had finally stopped to levitate back to the balcony and taken a look at their latest icy creation.
It rather resembled a tree, albeit one twisted and spiralling like a hurricane suspended in time. But settled on each of its branches was one or two large, translucent domes, each containing a few ice sculptures, like snow globes. In one, a stallion was reared up, ready to gallop with all its might. In another, a cherub that looked suspiciously like Baby Tooth strummed on a harp. As a joke, one even contained a mime who looked truly trapped inside his dome. With over a dozen such little scenes frozen in time, the whole creation looked like something out of a story book. It was almost a shame that Elsa and Jack would have to dismantle it before the night was over, crowding up the courtyard as it was.
But until then, they enjoyed the show that they'd put on for themselves from the balcony, occasionally using their powers to turn the "tree" to look at it from a different angle. They sat close together on a single seat and nibbled on the rosette cookies from the plate that Gerda had left out for them, revelling in their closeness – while they still could.
Jack couldn't help but wince as he recalled his recent talk with Tooth. It was bad enough that he'd searched all week for a way to keep Elsa alive forever, and found pretty much nothing. But his fellow Guardian's words had made him realize that things could stay that way, no matter how determined he was. He wondered if his failings would have unnerved him this much if she hadn't said anything.
But that wasn't the only thing the Guardian of Memories had said that kept bothering Jack. Her suggestion that Elsa's wish the other night had been made in the heat of the moment – not really thought out or meant – had shaken him more than he could even understand. His search had continued, but it was different now. He'd lost the single-mindedness he'd had when he'd taken off on Monday morning, now distracted by the possibility that he was wasting his time – time he could've been spending with Elsa. Her words had laid the foundation of his entire quest, and now that they were in question, it made his whole world threaten to crumble. It just terrified him to think of finally finding a Moonstone, and learning how to use it, only for his Snow Angel to say no. That the torment of going unseen, the lost chance at paradise, the sadness of watching everyone else she loved die... what they had wasn't worth going through all that.
I can't go on like this. he thought desperately. I could be walking on Moonstones all over Africa and not seeing them, this is driving me so crazy! I need to know! I need her to want it!...
"Hey..." he murmured, giving Elsa a light squeeze.
"Yeah?" she responded with equal softness.
He waited until she looked at him before speaking again.
"What you said the other night. About wishing to be with me forever." He paused, and subtly worked himself up to the question. "... Did you mean it?"
Something shifted at the back of Elsa's gaze, and her magic wobbled almost imperceptibly, but both were largely unreadable, offering Jack no real clues what she was thinking. He could only wait one long, agonizing second after the last, unsure what to make of her hesitation to answer.
Finally, she spoke. And it felt like it was in all honesty.
"I did."
A beat passed... and Jack exhaled, his insides seeming to relax for the first time in too long.
She's said it. he told himself, relieved. She's said it, and this time... no being carried away, no emotional moment... she meant it for sure this time.
"I did, too." he returned with a gentle smile, deciding to leave it at that.
Elsa offered a loving grin of her own before the couple turned back to gaze at their work, and to let the night continue on to its inevitable conclusion.
As it did, at no point did Jack ever notice that she hadn't said "I do".
Author's note: Just a word of warning now, folks. This author's note is going to be a doozie, even by my standards. If you're not the type to get anything out of my "word vomit" (as some so tastefully refer to it), you'd best move right on to the next chapter.
First of all, yes, the Olaf scene was the part I warned you about last chapter. You read right; that was my attempt at a musical segment in Snow & Frost 2, and I can't wait to hear what you all thought. I did the best I could in a written format, but obviously, there are a lot of pieces missing from this puzzle – for instance, I couldn't get across rhythm or even the instruments (the best I could do was conjunct some words to keep the lines at a matching length). And that's where the reader's imagination I was emphasizing last chapter comes in. If I'm lucky, I'll get a musical composer and a bunch of vocalists – including one decent Josh Gad impersonator – (any takers?) to bring my vision of what this song sounds like to life one day, but until then, it's up to you how the song should sound. (Personally, I imagine it sounding a lot like Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious from Mary Poppins.) And depending on the response I get, this might not even be the last song in this story. We'll see.
(By the way, yes, I admit, Olaf going around asking everyone the same personal question is hardly an original idea. I can't even say I got it from Olaf's Frozen Adventure so much as the trailer for Olaf's Frozen Adventure.)
But let's get to the meat of this author's note. Just so you know, I promise, I'm not in the business of criticizing other people's works to make mine seem better by comparison. I leave that nonsense to the director of Suicide Squad (2016). But for the sake of the point I'm about to make, I'm going to be cutting it pretty fine. Here we go.
I think that in any fanfiction that focuses on a relationship between two people, other relationships risk being sidelined. Take Frozen ones, for example. If the writer chooses to focus on Anna and Kristoff's relationship, then Anna and Elsa's is often neglected. If the writer instead focuses on Anna and Elsa's relationship, then Anna and Kristoff's usually becomes an afterthought (or a joke – looking at you, Nardragon). And if we bring Rise of the Guardians into it, and the writer focuses on Elsa and Jack's relationship, once again, the royal sisters' almost always gets shelved.
Now, I'm not saying I don't understand why this happens. Juggling more than one relationship is hard enough in real life; I don't blame anyone on this site for amateur writers for focusing on making one relationship between two fictional characters work, and not throwing a third into the mix. But that doesn't mean I'm all right with it. Maybe it's because Anna is my favourite Frozen character, but I never appreciate it when she's reduced to no significance in an Elsa-Jack romance – especially in circumstances where she should be significant. Like Elsa facing the prospect of eternal life without her.
One fanfiction in particular comes to mind when I think of this stigma. I'm not going to point any fingers or name any names, but I will say that its title rhymes with "Flynn Burn Wool Weiss". In it, Anna is not a character, she's a plot device. She's only ever brought in when the writer needs Elsa or Jack to talk to someone, but not each other. She has no life of her own, nothing going on, no arc. She only exists to worry about the leads, while she's only ever the second or even third person Elsa thinks of in any given situation. (No, really. Even when Anna gets a scene where she isn't with Elsa or Jack, what is she thinking about? Elsa or Jack.) And most of all, when Elsa actually does achieve immortality, the way it affects her relationship with Anna is barely addressed. That they will one day be separated forever is barely even a factor. Because, to the author, Anna is barely even a factor.
For the record, that is somehow only one of the many things in this story (which will remain anonymous) that really burn me up. I know it has a lot of fans – even some of my own readers have it in their Favourites lists – and I don't mean any disrespect to them or its author. If that's what you like, then more power to you. Me, though, if I were to write a review of everything wrong with Flynn Burn Wool Weiss, its page count would surpass all the Snow & Frost content I've ever written. Yes. That bad.
Yeah, I love Elsa and Jack as a couple (at least, when they're written right). But I love Anna and Elsa as a family just as much. That's why I'm committed to giving both relationships, as well as others, the focus they deserve in Snow & Frost; to do right what I consider so many others to have done wrong.
Before any of you say it, yes, I know that sounds rich coming from me when, for a good chunk of the story so far, Elsa has been laser-focused on her relationship with Jack and practically forgetting that that means losing Anna someday. That was intentional; I meant that as a satire (or even a reverse-parody) of this recurring problem Elsa-Jack fanfiction writers have with Anna.
*Calming sighs*
So, musical segments in a written story, ripping into other people's works, admitting to satirizing them with my own, holding myself to a higher standard... if this doesn't generate controversy, nothing I write will. Can't wait to see what you all say.
Mikaelus, November 8th, 2024