Alarm klaxons blared through the facility's stark white corridors as Shepard, still in his hospital gown, pressed Mr. Beast ahead of him. Behind them, Geralt moved backward, his borrowed sword held ready as angry shouts echoed from connecting hallways.

"This is NOT the kind of content I usually make!" Mr. Beast yelped as they rounded a corner, his blue BEAST shirt now wrinkled from being manhandled. "Though our viewer count is through the roof-"

"Quiet," Shepard ordered, checking a digital display on the wall. "Kasumi, what's our exit route?"

Kasumi flickered into view ahead of them, her tactical hood casting shadows over her face. "Three levels up. But we've got a problem..." She gestured to a tablet she'd hacked into. "Social media's exploding. His fans are surrounding the building."

Through nearby windows, they could see a massive crowd of children and teenagers gathering outside the facility. Many wore Mr. Beast merchandise and held up homemade signs. Their angry chants became audible even through the thick glass:

"GIVE US BACK JIMMY! GIVE US BACK JIMMY!"

Vesemir, bringing up the rear with his sword drawn, shook his head. "Children's crusades. Never end well."

"Wait!" Mr. Beast tried to turn around but Shepard kept him moving. "Just let me livestream that I'm okay! They're just worried-"

A group of pre-teens in Beast merchandise burst from a side corridor ahead, wielding foam Minecraft swords and phones set to record. "There they are!" one shouted. "Get them!"

Geralt stepped forward, raising his hand and forming the Aard sign. The blast of force sent phones clattering across the floor and scattered the young attackers, their foam weapons bouncing harmlessly off the walls.

"Did you just use magic on children?" Mr. Beast asked, incredulous.

"Just a push," Geralt grunted. "They'll live."

They reached a stairwell, but the sounds of thundering feet came from both above and below. Kasumi's omni-tool flared as she checked the building schematics. "Service elevator shaft, two corridors over. It's our best shot."

"Through there!" Shepard pointed to a set of double doors. As they burst through, they found themselves in what looked like a massive streaming setup, with green screens and high-end cameras everywhere.

"Oh hey, this is where we film our gaming challenges!" Mr. Beast brightened. "You know, instead of running, we could do a really cool collab-"

"Not now!" everyone shouted in unison.

The main doors crashed open as a wave of young fans poured in, phones raised high, led by Chris and the other Beast crew members. "Stop them! They're ruining the biggest video ever!"

Vesemir grabbed a nearby rolling chair and sent it spinning into the crowd, creating momentary chaos. Geralt vaulted over a desk of streaming equipment, clearing a path as monitors crashed to the floor. Shepard pushed Mr. Beast toward a side door while Kasumi worked on hacking the electronic lock.

"Your army's persistent, I'll give them that," Shepard commented, holding the enthusiastic YouTuber firmly.

"They're just passionate!" Mr. Beast protested. "And this whole chase is probably going to hit 100 million views-"

The lock clicked and the door opened, revealing the elevator shaft. Kasumi's omni-tool projected a makeshift lift platform using mass effect fields.

"Ladies first," she smirked, stepping onto the glowing blue platform.

A foam Minecraft sword bounced off the wall next to them as more young fans poured in. "You can't take Mr. Beast! He still has to give away a private island!"

"Time to go," Shepard said, shoving Mr. Beast onto the platform despite his protests about subscriber counts and viewer retention.

Geralt and Vesemir backed up last, their swords keeping the surge of children at bay. "Never thought I'd see the day," Geralt muttered. "Fighting off an army of child warriors with phones."

"Could be worse," Vesemir replied as they stepped onto the platform. "Remember the botchling incident?"

The platform began to rise as the crowd of fans reached the shaft, their phones lighting up the darkness with hundreds of recording lights. Mr. Beast waved down at them.

"Don't forget to like and subscribe! And check out my new hostage video, coming soon!"

Shepard pinched the bridge of his nose. "Someone please shut him up."

"I know a sign for that," Geralt offered with a slight smile.

"Don't tempt me," Shepard replied as they ascended into darkness, leaving the chaos below.

The white delivery truck roared down the highway, its tires throwing up plumes of water from the rain-slicked asphalt. Inside the cargo area, Shepard and Geralt sat on metal benches bolted to the walls, still in their hospital gowns, watching their hostage. Mr. Beast sat cross-legged on the floor, happily narrating into his phone.

"What's up guys! Coming at you from inside a getaway truck with Commander Shepard and the Witcher! Don't forget to SMASH that like button-"

"What manner of speaking crystal is that?" Geralt asked, eyeing the smartphone with suspicion. "And who exactly are you talking to?"

Shepard leaned forward, his hospital gown crinkling. "More importantly, why were you trying to give us lobotomies for entertainment?"

"Oh, that!" Mr. Beast's face lit up with enthusiasm. "See, my channel's all about crazy challenges with big prizes. Last month, I bought an entire hospital and gave it away to a nurse. The month before that, I buried myself alive for 24 hours-"

"Your world has strange entertainments," Geralt muttered to Shepard. "At least in Novigrad, they just stick to fistfights and gwent."

In the driver's seat up front, separated by a metal grille, Kasumi called back. "He's got 100 million followers online. Apparently, he's famous for giving away money in increasingly bizarre ways."

"A hundred million?" Shepard's eyebrows rose. "That's more than the population of some colonies."

Mr. Beast turned his phone toward them. "Check it out - we're trending number one worldwide! The livestream has fifty million concurrent viewers!" He squinted at Geralt. "Quick question - would you be interested in doing a video where you hunt monsters for increasing amounts of money?"

Geralt stared at him blankly. "I already do that. It's called being a witcher."

"Yeah, but do you film it? Because with your unique look and the whole monster-hunting thing, we could totally-"

The truck swerved suddenly, causing everyone to grab for support. Vesemir's voice came from the passenger seat: "We've got company. Black SUVs, likely your doctor friend's security."

"And about two thousand fans in cars behind them," Kasumi added. "These kids are dedicated."

Shepard moved to the truck's back window, wiping condensation away to look out. Through the rain, he could see a convoy of vehicles in pursuit. Leading them were three black SUVs with tinted windows, followed by an endless stream of cars filled with young fans holding phones out their windows.

"Is this... normal for you?" Shepard asked Mr. Beast, who was still filming.

"Oh yeah! One time, I offered $10,000 to anyone who could keep their hand on a lambo the longest, and the traffic jam lasted three days." He turned back to his phone. "Guys, if this video hits five million likes, I'll do a challenge where I try to survive 24 hours in the Terminus Systems-"

"You still haven't explained what a 'YouTube' is," Geralt interrupted, gripping his sword as the truck took another sharp turn. "Or why you speak to that small glass rectangle as if it were a person."

"It's a platform where-" The truck bounced over something, causing Mr. Beast to fumble his phone. Shepard caught it before it could hit the floor. "Hey, careful with that! That's a new iPhone 15 Pro Max!"

"Fascinating," Geralt deadpanned. "Perhaps you could explain it while we're not being chased by an army of children and mysterious men in black carriages."

Kasumi's voice crackled over the intercom: "Heads up! They're setting up a roadblock ahead. And... are those kids building a Minecraft dirt block barrier across the highway?"

"Oh man, that would make a great thumbnail!" Mr. Beast tried to reach for his phone, but Shepard held it away.

"Focus," Shepard commanded. "What exactly did that doctor want with us? Why set up this whole elaborate scheme?"

"Honestly? No idea! He just offered me a million dollars to use his facility for a challenge. Said something about 'perfect specimens' and 'advancing human evolution.' I just thought it would make good content!"

Geralt and Shepard exchanged looks. "Your world's concept of entertainment," Geralt said slowly, "is deeply concerning."

Another swerve sent them all sliding across the cargo area. "Brace yourselves!" Kasumi called out. "We're going off-road!"

Mr. Beast's eyes lit up. "This is just like that time I gave away a monster truck to whoever could survive the longest in a-"

"Shut up!" everyone in the truck yelled in unison.

The vehicle lurched as it left the highway, and somewhere behind them, the sounds of police sirens joined the chaos of their pursuit.

The truck shuddered across uneven terrain, rain hammering against its metal roof. Through the back window, two armored figures emerged from a police helicopter hovering above the convoy. One wore a gleaming gold-plated combat suit with "PRIME" emblazoned across the chest, while the other's silver armor bore the "KSI" logo.

"Yo, what's up Jake Paulers!" Logan's amplified voice boomed across the landscape as he hefted a military-grade rocket launcher. "Today we're taking down Mr. Beast's kidnappers!"

"Allow it fam!" KSI's British accent crackled through his suit's speakers. "This is about to be a madness!"

Shepard squinted through the rain-streaked window. "Are all entertainers in your world this heavily armed?"

"Only the YouTubers!" Mr. Beast called excitedly, trying to film through the back window. "This crossover is going to break the internet!"

The rocket launcher's targeting laser painted a red dot on their truck's rear doors. Geralt's medallion began humming against his chest, his yellow eyes narrowing. "Something's coming. Fast."

"Got it," Shepard's body flared with blue biotic energy, creating a protective barrier around the truck's rear. "Whatever you're going to do, do it now!"

Geralt's fingers traced the Quen sign in the air, golden energy forming a shield that merged with Shepard's biotics. The magical energies swirled together, creating a mesmerizing purple-gold barrier just as Logan pulled the trigger.

The rocket streaked through the rain, leaving a trail of white smoke. It impacted the combined shield in a spectacular explosion that lit up the stormy sky. The blast wave sent pursuing vehicles swerving, but the truck continued forward, protected by the merged energies.

"Did you see that?" Logan shouted from above. "Their power levels are over 9000!"

"Man's not hot!" KSI added, inexplicably.

In the truck, Mr. Beast was practically bouncing. "A biotic Commander AND a witcher working together! This is better than any challenge I could have planned!"

"Focus on driving!" Vesemir called from the front. "They're preparing another shot!"

Kasumi swerved the truck between trees as they entered a wooded area. "Little help here? These guys have more viewers than a Blasto premiere!"

"On it," Shepard's hands glowed blue again. "Geralt, can you do that shield thing one more time?"

"Hmm," Geralt nodded, fingers already moving. "Perhaps we can send it back this time."

"Wait!" Mr. Beast held up his phone. "Before you do anything else epic, can you both look at the camera and say 'Like and Subscribe'?"

Geralt and Shepard exchanged a look. "I'm starting to prefer the doctor with the lobotomy tools," Geralt muttered.

Another rocket launched from above, cutting through the rain toward them. This time, when Geralt's Quen sign met Shepard's biotics, they pushed outward instead of forming a barrier. The rocket hit the energy field and rebounded, spiraling up toward the helicopter.

"Oh shit!" Logan yelped, his golden armor glinting as he and KSI dove from the aircraft. The helicopter veered away just in time to avoid the rocket, which exploded harmlessly in the air.

"Impossible!" KSI shouted as he activated his suit's flight systems. "They're too powerful!"

"Don't forget to check out our new Prime energy drink!" Logan called out as they retreated. "Available now at-"

Their voices faded as the truck burst through the treeline onto a clear road, leaving the pursuit behind. Inside, Mr. Beast was reviewing his footage with glee.

"This is incredible! The merger of magic and biotics! The action! The product placement! We're definitely hitting 200 million views with this one!"

Shepard slumped against the truck wall, his hospital gown now thoroughly soaked with rain from the open back doors. "Geralt, when this is over, want to get a drink?"

"Several," the witcher replied, his yellow eyes still watching for pursuit. "Though I suspect no amount of White Gull will help us forget this day."

From the front, Kasumi's voice carried a smile: "At least none of you had to say 'like and subscribe.'"

"Speaking of that-" Mr. Beast began, raising his phone again.

"NO!" everyone shouted in unison as the truck sped into the gathering darkness, leaving behind the chaos of modern entertainment.