Lucas had initially thought it was going to take him weeks to figure out how he really felt, but in reality, it only took him a few days. After his enlightening conversation with Elizabeth, Lucas went and talked to Faith the very next day.
"Hi," he said, announcing his presence as he stepped into the infirmary. At the sound of his voice, Faith spun around. Her face held mixed emotions, but surprise was definitely one of them.
"Hi," Faith finally sputtered. "What are you doing here?"
"I came to talk to you," Lucas answered. After a second, he added, "And to apologize." Faith nodded, but didn't say anything. Taking that as his cue, Lucas plunged right in.
"First, I'm sorry for raising my voice." He figured he'd better start with the most important things. "I let my emotions get the best of me and I shouldn't have."
"Thank you for your apology," Faith replied with a nod. "I'm sorry for some of the things that I said, especially about you and Elizabeth. I was mad and it just came pouring out, but that's not an excuse. I hope you can accept my apology too."
"I do," Lucas said, grateful that was now out of the way. "Thank you." When Faith didn't make a move to speak again, Lucas figured he'd better continue.
"I've been thinking about it. About you and I," Lucas made himself say. He usually didn't have a problem talking about anything in front of anyone- he'd always been a natural public speaker- but talking about relationships and feelings made him suddenly trip all over his words. He just wanted to say it right. Lucas knew this might be the only chance he got.
"I like you, Faith," Lucas said. "You are an amazing person, but I just don't think that-"
"Our futures are aligning?" Faith supplied for him.
"Yes," Lucas breathed out, relieved that Faith knew exactly how to voice what he was thinking. "I don't think I can be everything that you want, deserve, or need me to be. I know you and Lily belong here in Hope Valley. And you need someone who belongs here too. I'm just sorry that can't be me."
Lucas took a deep breath. What he had to say next was the hardest part because he had no clue how Faith was going to take it.
"I think we both need to figure out what we really want," he said, the words coming out a little easier than he'd expected. "Both short and long term." Lucas held his breath as he eyed Faith. For a minute, she didn't say anything. That just made Lucas even more uneasy.
"I think you're right," Faith slowly replied. "Maybe we should take a break," she added hesitantly. Lucas couldn't help the feeling of relief that washed over him.
"I agree," he said, his shoulders dropping several inches as the tension rushed from his body. "And I think you should have lunch with Tom." At this, Faith's gaze swung back to him, eyebrows raised. "Even if it's just as friends."
"Really?" Faith still didn't look convinced. But Lucas just smiled.
"Really," he confirmed.
"If you say so." Faith glanced away for a second, clearly thinking about something. "You know," she said, finally looking back at him. "I never thought I was good enough for you." Hearing this, Lucas took two steps forward and gently squeezed Faith's hand for a second before letting go again.
"Faith." He looked down at her. "You are a great deal too good for me. I mean," Lucas smiled. "You save people for a living! You have an amazing daughter that you dropped everything to take care of and she adores you. You are truly amazing, Faith," Lucas said. "I wish you would see yourself that way. I do and I know that Lily does."
"Thank you," Faith replied, her smile genuine. "Maybe it's not about one of us being too good for the other," she said, after contemplating it for a second. "Maybe we're just different." Faith paused and then grinned. "Or maybe we're too similar." Lucas chuckled and Faith joined him. It felt good to laugh with her again.
"Thank you for understanding," Lucas told her, after they'd laughed together for a minute. Faith nodded with a smile. "I'd really like to still stay friends," Lucas said, slowly. "Even as we figure everything out."
"I'd like that too," Faith agreed and then both smiled at each other.
Lucas walked out of the infirmary a few minutes later. He still didn't have all the answers. He didn't know what was going to happen between him and Faith and he hadn't yet figured out his feelings for Fiona. But, for once, Lucas had a feeling that it just might work out in the end.
Later that week, Lucas walked into the mercantile just after noon. He'd run out of matches the night before and he wanted to make sure he got some more in case he ever needed to start a fire or light some candles.
After stepping through the doorway, Lucas was surprised to see Fiona inside, talking on the phone. By her furrowed brow and the way she was clutching the receiver, Lucas guessed that it wasn't a social phone call.
"Hey Lucas," Ned said, drawing Lucas's attention away from Fiona for a minute. "Can I get you something?"
"Uh, yeah," Lucas replied, with another quick glance back at Fiona. "I just need some matches."
"Oh, I have some right here." Ned reached under the counter and pulled out a box.
"Thanks," Lucas said, reaching for his wallet as Ned placed the box on the counter. Lucas handed over the cash distractedly as he looked over his shoulder at Fiona, who was now rubbing her forehead with her hand.
"Here you go." Ned held out the boxes of matches and Lucas's change.
"Thank you." Lucas reached for it and stuffed the box and the coins back into his pocket. "Who is Fiona talking to?" Lucas asked, turning back to Ned.
"Oh, the editor of the largest newspaper in Nashville," Ned answered, gesturing to Fiona.
"Why?" Lucas couldn't help asking.
"I don't think he is very happy about how big the suffragette movement is becoming," Ned replied. "From what I've heard, his paper is printing ads about some politician who is against the movement, but now, no one wants to buy his papers because so many people have started supporting the movement in Nashville."
"And now he's mad at Fiona because she's helping lead the movement and he feels threatened by it," Lucas finished, reading in between the lines.
"Exactly." Lucas was about to ask Ned something else, but suddenly, yelling erupted from the phone receiver. Lucas spun around and saw that Fiona, still clutching the phone, now looked close to tears. The man was yelling so loud that Lucas could make out every word.
"Who do you think you are?! Coming in here and trying to put my newspaper out of business?!" Fiona's face was white and she looked like she was about to drop the receiver. "This movement's just a big waste of time. Women won't ever have the right to vote. Their place is at home, not at the ballot box and certainly not leading ridiculous movements that are destined to fail. Women aren't fit for government, Ms. Miller. That's a man's role in society. And if you haven't come to terms with that by now, you better figure it out soon. You don't belong here." It was at that point that Lucas broke. He was at Fiona's side in half a second and he caught the receiver just as it slipped from her hand.
"Hey," Lucas said unapologetically into the phone. "What right do you think you have to say things like that? Not only is it rude and disrespectful to Ms. Miller, but it is also highly unprofessional."
"Who is this?!" the man barked, obviously irked. "Get off the phone!"
"It doesn't matter who I am," Lucas said, somehow managing to keep his voice level. "What matters is that you not only disrespected Ms. Miller, but also every woman who is fighting so hard for the suffragette cause, and I won't stand by and let you say whatever you want!" The man started to protest, but Lucas cut him off.
"I will be contacting the CEO of your newspaper to inform him of this incident," Lucas continued. "It is unacceptable. And if you think that women have no place in politics, you are the exact reason that women around the United States and Canada are fighting so hard for the right to vote. They deserve to have a say just as much as men do and I really hope you change your point of view. If not, well, you might just find yourself out of a job. Good day." And with that, Lucas slid the receiver down with a resounding click, ending the call before the man could utter another word. Lucas looked up and over at Fiona as he let his hand fall from the phone.
"Fiona," Lucas started, but he never got to finish. Instead, Fiona just launched herself into his arms without a word. Not hesitating for a second, Lucas slid his arms around her and pulled her closer so her head could rest on his chest. Fiona's shoulders shook ever so slightly, the only indication that she was crying. So, Lucas just held her.
Lucas knew romance wasn't everything, but this- this was the feeling he'd been looking for. He'd been waiting for it to feel like this. In that moment, Lucas no longer wondered where he belonged. His place was right here, with Fiona. Not in any town, not on any stage. Just here, with her. And Lucas never wanted to let go.
All of a sudden, Fiona stiffened in his arms. Surprised, Lucas looked down at her and found her wide brown eyes staring up at him in shock. She gasped, as if she suddenly realized what was happening.
"Fiona," Lucas said again.
"Lucas." His heart fluttered when she said his name, but then it dropped to the floor in the very next instant as Fiona pushed away from him and fled from the mercantile.
"Fiona, wait!" Lucas shouted, immediately going after her. Fiona hurried down the street as fast as she could, but since she couldn't run, Lucas easily caught up to her. "Fiona." A second later, he was in front of her.
"I'm sorry, Lucas," Fiona forced out, her breath coming in short gasps. "I don't know what I was thinking. You and Faith are together. I-I-"
"Fiona," Lucas interrupted her stuttering. "Faith and I talked this morning. We agreed that we need to take a break and figure out what we both want. She's going out to lunch with Tom!"
Fiona just stared back at him, her expression blank.
"Fiona." He didn't know why he kept saying her name, but something in him needed her to know. He needed her to know what she meant to him.
"You and Faith need to figure it out, Lucas," Fiona told him flatly. She took a step away as if she needed to distance herself from him. "It's not like it even matters anymore," she rambled. "I'm leaving in a week anyways."
"Fiona-" Why couldn't he seem to say anything else? How could he tell her that he cared for her?
"Thank you for what you did, Lucas." Fiona took several more steps backwards. Her eyes no longer held any sparkle. Instead, those milky brown eyes that Lucas knew he could get lost in seemed sad. They seemed resigned. "I-I have to go." Before Lucas could make another attempt at forming a sentence, Fiona spun around and hurried away from him.
This time, Lucas didn't follow. He just stared after her, wondering how things had gotten so complicated. Lucas was very unfamiliar with being at a loss for what to say, but he couldn't seem to form the words he needed to tell Fiona how he felt. Maybe because you don't know, a small voice whispered in his mind.
"No," Lucas muttered to himself. That was only an excuse. He knew the truth, but it was so real, so scary. He didn't know if he could admit it. Elizabeth had been right. Once he'd finally allowed himself to feel it, he knew. Without a doubt, he knew. "I'm in love with Fiona Miller."
Author's Note: One more chapter to go! Thank you so much to everyone who has been following along! I hope you've been enjoying so far and I'd love to hear your thoughts! :)
Author's Note 2: Special thanks to whencallsthemusic for pointing out my typo in this chapter! :)
